Latest / The Radio From Hell Show - Best Of / Chainsaw Guy From October 28,2026
Transcript
- 0:00Speaker 1: Go check and see if Chainsaw.
- 0:01Speaker 2: Guy is here.
- 0:01Speaker 3: Is he here yet?
- 0:03Speaker 4: I thought I saw him in the waiting room over there.
- 0:05Speaker 5: Yeah.
- 0:07Speaker 4: You know, we got a new chainsaw at the farm.
- 0:09Speaker 1: Did you now?
- 0:10Speaker 2: Yeah. What kind? Did you get an eager beaver? Oh,
- 0:13Speaker 2: there he is.
- 0:13Speaker 1: Chainsaw guy is here.
- 0:14Speaker 4: Hi, chainsaw guy.
- 0:15Speaker 2: Hi, how you doing? Did you get an eager beaver?
- 0:17Speaker 4: Well, I was a little worried that you weren't going
- 0:20Speaker 4: to approve of it because it's a mini chainsaw. It's
- 0:23Speaker 4: a little tiny, but it's one that I can hold.
- 0:26Speaker 5: It's not a big, heavy chainsaw. Well, that was the
- 0:29Speaker 5: feature of the eager beaver chainsaw.
- 0:32Speaker 2: They were smaller. Easier. I think they were made for women.
- 0:36Speaker 2: I think they had pink ones. For women. Yeah, you
- 0:39Speaker 2: get your pink.
- 0:40Speaker 4: Ladies' chainsaw.
- 0:41Speaker 5: Yeah, you get your lady chainsaw there. Hey, I heard
- 0:44Speaker 5: the news. You heard the news, didn't you? Didn't you
- 0:47Speaker 5: hear it?
- 0:47Speaker 2: What's that? Donny Osmond's coming to town.
- 0:50Speaker 4: I didn't know you liked Donny Osmond.
- 0:52Speaker 2: Donny and I go way back. He was in counseling
- 0:55Speaker 2: with me for a long time.
- 0:57Speaker 4: Oh, was he?
- 0:57Speaker 2: Oh, yeah.
- 0:58Speaker 1: Self-certified life coach.
- 0:59Speaker 2: Yeah, that's right.
- 1:00Speaker 5: You know, when his sister went off the rails, he
- 1:03Speaker 5: had a lot of trouble also. And so I helped
- 1:06Speaker 5: him through that because, as Kerry just mentioned, I have
- 1:08Speaker 5: a self-certified life.
- 1:10Speaker 4: We should probably reintroduce Chainsaw Guy.
- 1:13Speaker 1: Yes, reintroduce Chainsaw Guy. He is the guy at the
- 1:15Speaker 1: end of every haunted house. Wearing a hockey mask, holding
- 1:20Speaker 1: a chainsaw that chases you out.
- 1:23Speaker 4: But there's more to chainsaw guy than that. A lot more.
- 1:26Speaker 4: That's your regular.
- 1:27Speaker 2: Job, right?
- 1:29Speaker 5: Yeah, that's my seasonal work. And I go to so
- 1:35Speaker 5: many haunted houses here along the Wasatch Front. And I
- 1:39Speaker 5: get confused sometimes at which one I'm at.
- 1:41Speaker 1: Well, yeah. I mean, we do have a lot of.
- 1:43Speaker 5: We do. But pretty much my full-time job, you know,
- 1:48Speaker 5: what I hang out my shingle as.
- 1:52Speaker 2: Is a life coach. Self-certified.
- 1:54Speaker 4: You wouldn't think you'd be tender-hearted like that. No.
- 1:59Speaker 2: A life coach doesn't have to be tender-hearted.
- 2:02Speaker 4: Oh, you give hard truths?
- 2:03Speaker 2: Tough love, G, tough love.
- 2:04Speaker 1: It could be logical, tough love.
- 2:06Speaker 2: Tough love, that's what I do.
- 2:08Speaker 1: So if you have questions about, gee, just about anything,
- 2:13Speaker 1: you can call Chainsaw Guy right now. Ask him questions
- 2:17Speaker 1: about your love life.
- 2:18Speaker 2: Yep.
- 2:18Speaker 1: Ask him questions about... Your career, your mental health in general.
- 2:24Speaker 2: If you're thinking of buying a new car, maybe I
- 2:26Speaker 2: could help you with that.
- 2:27Speaker 1: That kind of thing.
- 2:29Speaker 2: Shoes. What kind of shoes should you wear?
- 2:32Speaker 4: Selecting shoes.
- 2:33Speaker 2: I can help you select shoes and underpants and.
- 2:36Speaker 4: Stuff like that. Chainsaw guy. Chainsaw guy, I'm wondering, how
- 2:40Speaker 4: do you feel about the electric chainsaw?
- 2:44Speaker 2: I have no feelings for the electric chainsaw.
- 2:47Speaker 1: You're old school. He does seem old school.
- 2:50Speaker 2: I like the smoke. And I like the effluvia.
- 2:54Speaker 4: That's a big word for you, Chainsaw God.
- 2:58Speaker 2: I beg your pardon? I'm a self-certified life coach. I
- 3:02Speaker 2: know what effluvia means. Okay.
- 3:05Speaker 1: It'll behoove you to care for your effluvia.
- 3:08Speaker 2: Exactly. 877-602-9696 is the number to call.
- 3:14Speaker 1: To talk to Chainsaw Guy.
- 3:16Speaker 2: Come on, Bunky, I can answer your questions.
- 3:18Speaker 1: All right, so our first question here is from Allison Sabo.
- 3:22Speaker 6: Oh.
- 3:23Speaker 2: Hi, Allison.
- 3:25Speaker 7: Hi, Chainsaw Guy. Just so you know, I plan my
- 3:28Speaker 7: entire year around your advice.
- 3:31Speaker 4: Wow.
- 3:32Speaker 7: I really hope this is going to work out for me.
- 3:36Speaker 7: I am a budding politician. I ran for office and
- 3:41Speaker 7: I need to figure out how to keep the people
- 3:45Speaker 7: excited about uh politics and being active through before the
- 3:51Speaker 7: before november all right what should i do.
- 3:55Speaker 2: Well allison sabo here's what i think you should do
- 3:58Speaker 2: and then you start sneaking around.
- 4:11Speaker 1: And they say, and they blow her and her whole phone.
- 4:14Speaker 2: And then I would be like, keep it going.
- 4:19Speaker 3: And then she's like, Lisa, please.
- 4:21Speaker 5: And then by that.
- 4:22Speaker 2: Time, you will have had a lot.
- 4:24Speaker 5: And then I think really what you should do, Allison,
- 4:28Speaker 5: is you really ought to offer people bribes.
- 4:31Speaker 6: Wow.
- 4:31Speaker 2: Okay.
- 4:32Speaker 4: All right.
- 4:33Speaker 7: I will tell my campaign manager. Thank you so very much,
- 4:36Speaker 7: Chainsaw Guy.
- 4:37Speaker 2: My pleasure.
- 4:38Speaker 1: There you go.
- 4:39Speaker 4: So wise, Chainsaw Guy.
- 4:40Speaker 2: Oh, thank you.
- 4:41Speaker 4: You always give me things that I hadn't thought about before.
- 4:45Speaker 2: Thank you.
- 4:46Speaker 1: Well, people are texting in a lot of questions. They're
- 4:48Speaker 1: not understanding the whole situation here. We need you to
- 4:51Speaker 1: call in and ask your questions of Chainsaw Guy at 877-602-9696.
- 4:55Speaker 1: Let's see.
- 5:01Speaker 2: Well, you know, the inside of these hockey masks get
- 5:03Speaker 2: kind of stinky.
- 5:05Speaker 1: They do get a little moist.
- 5:06Speaker 4: Well, do you ever take it off, Chainsaw Guy?
- 5:10Speaker 2: No. You don't want to see what's under there.
- 5:13Speaker 4: No, I don't.
- 5:13Speaker 2: I know you don't.
- 5:15Speaker 1: Let's see. Here's a text or a true story. I
- 5:17Speaker 1: hate haunted houses. The two times I went, my friends
- 5:20Speaker 1: ran out. One Chainsaw Guy came out. I was self-aware
- 5:23Speaker 1: enough to be like, this is BS.
- 5:25Speaker 4: No, it's not BS.
- 5:27Speaker 2: I beg your pardon?
- 5:28Speaker 5: It's real.
- 5:30Speaker 1: The chain is on the chainsaw.
- 5:32Speaker 2: I think maybe what that means is BS is big sauce.
- 5:36Speaker 6: Oh, okay.
- 5:36Speaker 2: This is big sauce.
- 5:38Speaker 1: Big sauce.
- 5:38Speaker 2: Yeah.
- 5:40Speaker 1: Sid wants to know, I heard a rumor that you
- 5:41Speaker 1: might be retiring.
- 5:42Speaker 2: Is that true? No, no, no.
- 5:47Speaker 5: Listen, as long as there's chain oil... Because you've got
- 5:53Speaker 5: to oil the chain.
- 5:54Speaker 1: You've got to keep that chain oiled.
- 5:56Speaker 5: Like my mom, when I was a little kid, she'd say, hey,
- 5:58Speaker 5: chainsaw guy, what are you doing in there?
- 6:00Speaker 2: And I'd say, I'm oiling my chain, Mom.
- 6:03Speaker 1: Good answer.
- 6:04Speaker 2: Oiling my chain.
- 6:06Speaker 1: All right. Let's go to Jill. Jill has a question
- 6:09Speaker 1: for you, chainsaw guy.
- 6:10Speaker 5: Hi, Jill.
- 6:12Speaker 6: Hi, chainsaw guy. So I have a cervical centric, which
- 6:16Speaker 6: means in my neck, migraine disorder. And I'm just wondering
- 6:19Speaker 6: if you have any... you know, life coach tips or
- 6:23Speaker 6: tricks on how to get rid of that neck injury
- 6:25Speaker 6: or that neck pain.
- 6:26Speaker 2: Well, all right. Well, I think I, yeah, I think
- 6:29Speaker 2: I could, I think I could help you there. All right.
- 6:56Speaker 2: I have a question for you, Jill. I don't understand
- 7:03Speaker 2: how your cervix got in your neck. Oh, well, there
- 7:06Speaker 2: you go.
- 7:07Speaker 1: Thank you, Jill.
- 7:08Speaker 2: Thanks, Joe. There we go. All right.
- 7:14Speaker 1: That's puzzling, isn't it?
- 7:15Speaker 2: Her cervix is in her neck. Yeah. Very weird.
- 7:19Speaker 1: All right.
- 7:20Speaker 2: I like Syracuse.
- 7:21Speaker 5: You know, they have mosquitoes out there that are as
- 7:24Speaker 5: big as school buses.
- 7:26Speaker 4: Wow.
- 7:27Speaker 2: Syracuse.
- 7:27Speaker 4: Hi, Chainsaw Guy.
- 7:28Speaker 2: Hey, hey. You all right? Well, I got a phone
- 7:32Speaker 2: call from Donnie Osmond.
- 7:33Speaker 1: Donnie Osmond?
- 7:34Speaker 2: Yeah, Donnie called me. We go way back.
- 7:36Speaker 5: Like I told you before, when his sister went to Portland,
- 7:40Speaker 5: she kind of went off the rails there. Donnie was
- 7:44Speaker 5: having a hard time dealing with it. So he called me,
- 7:47Speaker 5: self-certified life coach.
- 7:49Speaker 1: Oh, you actually.
- 7:50Speaker 4: You counseled him.
- 7:51Speaker 2: Oh, yeah, for sure. For sure, for sure, for sure,
- 7:54Speaker 2: for sure.
- 7:55Speaker 5: So he called because he said, you know, I'm coming
- 7:57Speaker 5: to town to do a show in August of 2027.
- 8:00Speaker 4: Now, will you go to that show?
- 8:02Speaker 2: Of course I will. Donnie comps me.
- 8:05Speaker 5: Come on.
- 8:05Speaker 8: Of course.
- 8:06Speaker 2: I get the comps.
- 8:07Speaker 4: And you go in the hockey mask and the overalls?
- 8:11Speaker 2: Well, yeah, that's the only way he knows it's me.
- 8:14Speaker 1: He sneaks in the back, you know.
- 8:16Speaker 2: But he was asking me, he said he has dancers
- 8:18Speaker 2: in his show, you know. Oh, okay. And he showed
- 8:20Speaker 2: me a picture.
- 8:21Speaker 5: And I said, Donnie, Donnie, Donnie, Donnie, those dancers need
- 8:25Speaker 5: to wear a little bit more clothing.
- 8:27Speaker 2: Oh, wow. A little bit more. I didn't know you
- 8:30Speaker 2: felt that way.
- 8:30Speaker 1: A bit of a prude there.
- 8:32Speaker 2: No, it's just I'm trying to protect Donnie's image.
- 8:34Speaker 1: All right, well. Let's go. People have questions for you,
- 8:38Speaker 1: self-certified life coach chainsaw guy, the guy at the end
- 8:42Speaker 1: of the haunted house wearing the hockey mask, wielding a
- 8:45Speaker 1: chainsaw who chases you out. Mando is here. Mando, do
- 8:49Speaker 1: you have a question?
- 8:50Speaker 4: Hello?
- 8:52Speaker 1: Mando, honey.
- 8:52Speaker 4: Yes, sorry.
- 8:53Speaker 2: Go ahead. Yeah, my wife is going out of town.
- 8:56Speaker 6: Hi.
- 8:56Speaker 5: Uh-huh.
- 8:57Speaker 2: My wife's going out of town, and.
- 8:58Speaker 1: I'm wondering if I should do chores around the house
- 9:01Speaker 1: while she's out or wait until she comes back for
- 9:04Speaker 1: her to do it.
- 9:05Speaker 2: For her to do it? Well, okay, Chase.
- 9:08Speaker 4: King Saw Guy, you give it to him.
- 9:09Speaker 2: Hey, you butt out, my friend.
- 9:11Speaker 3: Hold on a second.
- 9:12Speaker 2: I'll tell you again. There you go.
- 9:44Speaker 1: Sound advice. Thanks, Mando.
- 9:47Speaker 3: That sounds great.
- 9:49Speaker 2: I'm going to do that. All right, there you go.
- 9:52Speaker 1: Let's go to Caden. Caden, are you there? Do you
- 9:55Speaker 1: have a question for Chainsaw Guy?
- 9:57Speaker 8: Yes, yes, Chainsaw Guy.
- 10:00Speaker 2: Of course.
- 10:01Speaker 8: As you know, the Salt Lake is depleting before our
- 10:04Speaker 8: very eyes. It's slipping through our fry sauce-covered fingers. How
- 10:09Speaker 8: can the people of Utah preserve this lake that we have?
- 10:12Speaker 2: All right, well.
- 10:14Speaker 9: I have to tell you, you know, it's just, I
- 10:16Speaker 9: think it's just a change of attitude. I think that maybe,
- 10:20Speaker 9: you know, get a phone, a.
- 10:23Speaker 3: Gardener, and then they go, and then, and I think
- 10:27Speaker 3: of everybody.
- 10:27Speaker 2: Else, and they go, and then.
- 10:30Speaker 3: You go around, or whatever, and talk to them, and
- 10:35Speaker 3: then they go, and so everybody in showroom, and we
- 10:39Speaker 3: all need to, we all need to get together, We all.
- 10:45Speaker 2: Need to pee in the lake. Wow.
- 10:47Speaker 5: If all of us got together and peed in the lake,
- 10:51Speaker 5: it would help.
- 10:52Speaker 8: It's obvious.
- 10:54Speaker 1: I'll let the people know.
- 10:56Speaker 4: He's going to let the people know.
- 10:59Speaker 1: Some sort of citizens initiative, I think, is what he
- 11:02Speaker 1: has in mind. Let's go to Ryan. Hello, Ryan. What
- 11:05Speaker 1: is your question for Chainsaw Guy?
- 11:09Speaker 4: Hi, Chainsaw Guy.
- 11:10Speaker 2: Hi.
- 11:12Speaker 5: I'm a young adult, I'm just getting started in the world,
- 11:14Speaker 5: and I want to know how to build money, build wealth.
- 11:17Speaker 8: Can you provide any financial advice?
- 11:19Speaker 2: Financial advice, all right. Financial advice. You know what I
- 11:24Speaker 2: don't like? I buy this thing, and I have a,
- 11:27Speaker 2: I've heard a bit of what it says, but I
- 11:30Speaker 2: invested everything in tools. Because I have a whole bunch
- 11:33Speaker 2: of coals, and Dad first tried the.
- 11:36Speaker 9: Coals, but there was a whole lot of coals, and
- 11:40Speaker 9: he kind of itched me out a little bit.
- 11:42Speaker 2: So one of the best.
- 11:44Speaker 3: Ways to sort of secure your hair, you.
- 11:46Speaker 2: Know, is that if you could get a bunch of
- 11:49Speaker 2: girls to, or maybe... I'd say rob a bank.
- 11:54Speaker 4: There you go. Well, dude, thank you so much.
- 11:57Speaker 1: All right, there you go.
- 11:58Speaker 4: You're helping so many people today, Chainsaw.
- 12:01Speaker 1: You really are.
- 12:02Speaker 2: I am just happy to do it.
- 12:04Speaker 1: Let's go to Mike. Mike, do you have a question?
- 12:08Speaker 2: Yes. Hi, chainsaw guy.
- 12:09Speaker 7: What do you do to relax and have fun when
- 12:12Speaker 7: you're not working with your chainsaw?
- 12:15Speaker 1: Oh, that's a good question.
- 12:17Speaker 2: How do I relax? I can't relax unless I have
- 12:21Speaker 2: a chainsaw.
- 12:21Speaker 9: How many chainsaw is there on the line?
- 12:26Speaker 2: Uh, I got into it. I have, I could just
- 12:29Speaker 2: spend hours and hours, you know, with my car. And I,
- 12:32Speaker 2: you know, I have several of them with me. I
- 12:34Speaker 2: have different kinds, different models to take on. And I
- 12:36Speaker 2: don't know, I don't know, I don't know. Sit her
- 12:40Speaker 2: under her.
- 12:40Speaker 3: I'll use you to put her on the TV show.
- 12:43Speaker 5: I'd like her to have three runs of I Love
- 12:46Speaker 5: Lucy and then oil my chain.
- 12:48Speaker 1: There you go.
- 12:50Speaker 2: Thank you, Mike. I love Lucy and then I oil
- 12:52Speaker 2: my chain.
- 12:53Speaker 1: All right. Let's go to another Mike here.
- 12:55Speaker 5: Hello.
- 12:58Speaker 3: Hello, Chainsaw Guy.
- 12:59Speaker 2: Thanks for taking my call.
- 13:00Speaker 6: Sure.
- 13:03Speaker 8: I'm having some issues in the workplace with harassment, and
- 13:06Speaker 8: dare I say, turning into workplace violence.
- 13:10Speaker 2: I need some advice on how to deal with this.
- 13:13Speaker 2: Workplace harassment, huh? And violence, my goodness. Well, there we go.
- 13:18Speaker 2: I think that's a good idea.
- 13:20Speaker 3: If you have some eggs here, you know, we'll figure
- 13:22Speaker 3: that out.
- 13:23Speaker 2: The eggs are a bag where you have them.
- 13:26Speaker 3: The only way to turn around is a sign. The
- 13:30Speaker 3: best way to.
- 13:32Speaker 2: Stop it is you've got to stop doing it. There
- 13:36Speaker 2: you go.
- 13:37Speaker 3: You've got to stop harassing people, buddy.
- 13:43Speaker 5: Thanks, Mike.
- 13:43Speaker 1: Oh, okay.
- 13:44Speaker 4: All right.
- 13:45Speaker 2: Thank you, sir. Let's go to Corey.
- 13:47Speaker 1: Oh, my God.
- 13:48Speaker 2: All right.
- 13:58Speaker 1: Corey's our last call, Chainsaw Guy.
- 13:59Speaker 4: Don't worry.
- 14:00Speaker 2: I know.
- 14:01Speaker 4: Hey, Chainsaw Guy.
- 14:02Speaker 2: Hey, how's it going, Corey? How are you?
- 14:05Speaker 4: I'm doing well. Thanks for taking my call.
- 14:08Speaker 2: It wasn't my idea.
- 14:11Speaker 5: I know. I know.
- 14:12Speaker 8: I understand.
- 14:12Speaker 2: I would have ended it with Mike.
- 14:16Speaker 7: Well, here we go.
- 14:17Speaker 2: Okay.
- 14:17Speaker 8: Do you agree or disagree with the phrase, can't live
- 14:21Speaker 8: with them, can't kill them?
- 14:23Speaker 6: No.
- 14:23Speaker 4: Okay.
- 14:24Speaker 2: That's a good place to end.
- 14:25Speaker 1: That's a good place to end.
- 14:26Speaker 4: Thank you.
- 14:28Speaker 2: There you go.
- 14:59Speaker 1: Thank you, Corey.
- 14:59Speaker 2: Bye, Corey.
- 15:01Speaker 6: Thanks, Chainsaw Guy. There you go.
- 15:03Speaker 4: Chainsaw Guy, this is the most help I've ever heard
- 15:07Speaker 4: you give. It's just amazing.
- 15:09Speaker 2: This is a lot. You need to check in on
- 15:10Speaker 2: me a little more often.
- 15:11Speaker 4: I'm sorry.
- 15:12Speaker 1: I suppose.
- 15:12Speaker 4: It's a busy week for you. I know we should
- 15:14Speaker 4: probably need to let you go.
- 15:15Speaker 1: Yeah, you do have to get... That's right.
- 15:16Speaker 2: Drop by the house sometime, Jesus. You can help me
- 15:20Speaker 2: with my change.
- 15:21Speaker 4: I don't want to help you.
- 15:22Speaker 1: Which house? Okay.
- 15:23Speaker 2: All right.
- 15:24Speaker 1: Thank you. People want to know if Chainsaw Guy is
- 15:27Speaker 1: going to stump for Mayor Don Criddle.
- 15:28Speaker 2: Wait a minute. Wait a minute. My side off. I've
- 15:32Speaker 2: got to give you my side off. Oh, okay.
- 15:34Speaker 7: All right.
- 15:34Speaker 2: You ready? I'm out of here! All right.
- 15:37Speaker 1: Thank you.
- 15:38Speaker 2: All right.
- 15:39Speaker 4: You know, it's not the holiday until we hear from
- 15:42Speaker 4: Chainsaw Guy.
- 15:44Speaker 2: He made me tired. I'm exhausted.
- 15:47Speaker 1: Well, and it's all the exhaustion here.
- 15:49Speaker 2: Yeah.