Latest / Getting After It / 141 - Lily Marrujo - Be You. That’s the Whole Point.

Transcript

141 - Lily Marrujo - Be You. That’s the Whole Point. · Getting After It

• 0:00
  Brett: Thanks, right on, all right, all right, lil Welcome.
• 0:02
  Brett: Welcome to the show.
• 0:03
  Lily: Thank you for having me.
• 0:04
  Lily: Of course I've been wanting to come on for like actually forever.
• 0:08
  Brett: We've been talking about it for a long time.
• 0:10
  Brett: I remember the first time you wanted to come on.
• 0:12
  Brett: You're like okay, we're going to talk conspiracies, so maybe kick us off with a conspiracy.
• 0:18
  Brett: What's a good one?
• 0:22
  Lily: Oh my gosh Actually.
• 0:28
  Lily: Oh my gosh actually.
• 0:29
  Lily: I have no clue.
• 0:30
  Lily: You're out of the conspiracy phase?
• 0:31
  Lily: Well, no, because I I I was gonna tell you this, but I actually, like I watch.
• 0:33
  Lily: Most of the podcasts that I watch are about conspiracies or like really okay, yeah I don't know why.
• 0:38
  Lily: It's just like it's interesting, like when I'm cleaning or something I'll be watching?
• 0:42
  Lily: I don't even know, I'll just be listening to podcasts Do you listen to the alleys.
• 0:48
  Lily: I do sometimes.
• 0:49
  Lily: There we go.
• 0:51
  Lily: Those are good.
• 0:51
  Lily: I like learning about all this crime and stuff.
• 0:57
  Brett: Did you listen to the one about my roommate's brother?
• 0:58
  Brett: No, you didn't.
• 0:58
  Brett: No, oh man, you got to do it.
• 0:59
  Lily: Okay, wait, what is it?
• 1:00
  Brett: called you didn't?
• 1:00
  Brett: No, oh man, you got to do it.
• 1:02
  Lily: Okay, wait, what is it called?
• 1:05
  Brett: Because actually I would watch it.
• 1:06
  Brett: It's called the Disciples of Destruction Okay.
• 1:07
  Brett: Yeah, that was the name that their group did.
• 1:10
  Brett: That was like what they called themselves Disciples of Destruction, disciples of Destruction.
• 1:16
  Lily: Yeah, nuts, I was watching your podcast, the one with Spencer, your friend.
• 1:21
  Brett: Oh yeah, spencer, your friend.
• 1:22
  Brett: Oh yeah, do you remember him, by the way?
• 1:23
  Lily: I do.
• 1:24
  Brett: I know the name yeah I think I do remember a little bit so yeah, this is random, um jumping into this real quick, um lily's my niece oh yeah and she was born when she, when I was 10 years old, so she kind of grew up with me.
• 1:37
  Brett: She's my little sister.
• 1:39
  Brett: I would say yeah, um, but yeah, so you remember spencer a little bit.
• 1:42
  Brett: I I know he was over at the house and stuff, but I'm sure you were like four or five.
• 1:47
  Lily: So I do kind of remember like I cause I would always want to hang out with you.
• 1:51
  Lily: Yeah, I remember that friends were over, so I'd be like coming into your room and I bothering you.
• 1:57
  Brett: No, no.
• 1:58
  Brett: We were always like hey, this is cool, like hanging out a little, you're always a cool kid, like that's.
• 2:02
  Brett: One thing that's always been cool to see about you is like you're definitely a people person.
• 2:07
  Lily: Yeah, you're one of the most extroverted people I know.
• 2:10
  Lily: Yeah, it's true, it's so well.
• 2:13
  Lily: I think that now that I've matured, I've gotten to be kind of like quieter.
• 2:21
  Brett: Really.
• 2:21
  Lily: Yeah, because.
• 2:23
  Brett: Hard for me to believe.
• 2:33
  Lily: Yeah, no, I don't know, because I do love being around people, but I also like enjoy being just with myself.
• 2:35
  Lily: Now, maybe that's because I do.
• 2:36
  Lily: I think that is because I've like matured a lot.
• 2:38
  Lily: But I'm matured, sorry, but um, because I just being with myself is just like relaxing.
• 2:45
  Lily: It gives me time to like just be with my, my thoughts, and you know, but no, I do.
• 2:51
  Lily: I am still an extrovert.
• 2:54
  Lily: I've always loved meeting new people and like talking a lot.
• 2:57
  Lily: I do talk a lot.
• 2:59
  Brett: I mean that's a yeah, I'm kind of in the same boat, like I love talking to people.
• 3:04
  Brett: I talk to people for my job yeah talk to people on the podcast, but like there's definitely times where I'm just like I don't want to talk to anybody, I'm going into the room and either like putting my headphones on or just trying to take a nap, like I don't know, it's nice to sometimes it's like disconnect, like you said, like it helps me at least like think of my thoughts and stuff like that.
• 3:23
  Brett: But yeah, so I'm interested.
• 3:27
  Brett: I don't know what it's like growing up nowadays.
• 3:29
  Brett: It seems crazy.
• 3:31
  Brett: Yeah, what's high school like?
• 3:35
  Lily: I think it's fun, I definitely.
• 3:38
  Brett: You're going into your senior year, right?
• 3:40
  Lily: Yeah, I just got my senior backpack.
• 3:42
  Brett: Let's go.
• 3:44
  Lily: It's because all the seniors I don't know if this was like, if all everyone at your school when you were in high school- yeah did you guys, as seniors, get like kid backpacks?
• 3:53
  Lily: Kid backpacks like little kids, like like um paw patrol, or I didn't grow up with paw patrol, but um, I don't just like cartoons and stuff.
• 4:05
  Brett: I think the only thing.
• 4:06
  Brett: Like my senior year, I only brought like a binder to school.
• 4:09
  Brett: Sometimes I wouldn't bring anything.
• 4:10
  Brett: What, yeah?
• 4:11
  Brett: I think yeah, because it's like I don't know, I don't need much, but I guess Okay, so what'd you get?
• 4:16
  Lily: Blue's Clues.
• 4:17
  Brett: Blue's Clues.
• 4:25
  Lily: And it's fluffy, bro, all right, yeah, and I was telling my friend.
• 4:26
  Lily: I was like, if I see anyone who has the same backpack as me, this year because I never saw, because I feel like when seniors get backpacks, they get the most like stupid stuff or not stupid, but like everyone will have it and I'm like be different.
• 4:35
  Lily: Yeah.
• 4:35
  Lily: So I was like I'm going to get blue skus, but, twist, I'm going to make it fluffy.
• 4:40
  Lily: So yeah, there you go I got it yesterday and it's so freaking cute, but it's really small.
• 4:44
  Lily: It like barely fits my computer really.
• 4:46
  Brett: Yeah, you guys have computers.
• 4:48
  Lily: Now I've had them at school since elementary school, really, that's insane.
• 4:54
  Brett: I would have like for sure learned how to, because they're probably like they have software on them so you can't like do anything stupid right true damn.
• 5:00
  Brett: Can you download games?
• 5:01
  Brett: No, they've blocked that really yeah, like you can't even watch youtube I'd figure out a way to do it, because I'd have minecraft on and I'd pretend like I was doing something and I'd be playing minecraft.
• 5:11
  Brett: That's for sure what I would do.
• 5:12
  Brett: That's why we didn't have computers, because I was stupid I yeah, when.
• 5:16
  Lily: So back to when uh talking about the spencer, you and spencer on the podcast oh yeah I just really quick and then I'll go back to oh, you're good um, you guys were talking about, oh crap.
• 5:29
  Lily: I don't know if I remember it, but it was like this pact.
• 5:32
  Lily: Oh the pack rats, yeah the pack about like the van or whatever I also when you guys would make like videos, I'm so like just skits.
• 5:43
  Lily: I'm so jealous because none of my friends do that like really yeah, I want to do it with them so bad like I also make my cousins or brothers?
• 5:50
  Brett: when's the last time you watched my videos?
• 5:53
  Lily: like your skits.
• 5:54
  Lily: Yeah, I don't know they're pretty bad I love like.
• 5:57
  Brett: That's why I love them, because they're so funny and like so stupid I mean, I'll look back on them now like, yeah, they were so stupid bike gang productions.
• 6:03
  Brett: If I'll look back on them now Like, yeah, they were so stupid Bike gang productions, if you want to look on YouTube.
• 6:06
  Lily: Yeah, bike gang productions.
• 6:07
  Brett: That's what it is.
• 6:07
  Brett: That's my YouTube channel from when I was a kid.
• 6:09
  Brett: There was like the Elmo one, where Elmo killed me and all my friends.
• 6:14
  Lily: I saw that there's one where, like, we pretended to be Dog the Bounty Hunter yeah, I did not see weird and yeah, we just did some weird stuff, but like it was always fun, uh, just like hanging out, exactly like I just want to do that because it seems so like fun.
• 6:29
  Lily: It doesn't have to be good.
• 6:29
  Brett: I just yeah I think it would be hilarious, but I don't think I'm that creative I think you are, you for sure could do something maybe no you could.
• 6:38
  Brett: I'm, I, um, I firmly believe it, like I don't know.
• 6:40
  Brett: It's uh one of the reasons like I like podcasting and stuff, because, because it kind of feels like that, like when I was a kid yeah, doing those videos and stuff, um, but that's one thing like I've learned.
• 6:50
  Brett: Um, I know this isn't an advice session, but yeah, if I could give you like any advice, because you are growing up, you're gonna make some big decisions.
• 7:00
  Brett: You're almost turning 18 in a year, which is weird, that's so weird.
• 7:04
  Brett: I know um gross, but like trying and find things that you are interested in.
• 7:10
  Brett: Like for me, I loved making movies, I always have, and so now I'm trying to like create content for running, for getting after it, like all these different things.
• 7:17
  Brett: Um, this by no means is my job, but it's like a hobby that I like doing and um pa would actually say this all the time he'd always like make sure he's like make sure you always stay true to yourself, and there's a lot of power in that, because I think I'm sure you run into this with high school.
• 7:34
  Brett: Like you want to fit in, you want to um, you know, make friends and sometimes, like you don't know if they're interested in the same things you are and so like, yeah, it might be intimidating to share like hell.
• 7:45
  Brett: Yeah, well, I love making videos or whatever.
• 7:47
  Brett: Um, but that's important, like you never want to abandon that yeah, always stay true, true to yourself.
• 7:54
  Lily: I think that's very good advice, like important, especially for kids growing up, and like school is really tough because yeah there's not like.
• 8:03
  Lily: It's not like bullies, but people.
• 8:06
  Lily: I mean, I guess kind of just because some people will like make fun of you or laugh yeah a little kids, most little kids, I feel, because I've definitely like run into this problem.
• 8:15
  Lily: It's like where you're just worried what other people will think?
• 8:18
  Brett: I think all little kids actually yeah but, I mean not just little kids, adults too, that's.
• 8:23
  Brett: They worry about it that's true.
• 8:25
  Lily: I mean, I don't know because I'm not an adult yet, but I believe that you're pretty close.
• 8:30
  Lily: Yeah, I definitely do believe that you should always be true to yourself.
• 8:35
  Lily: You know, never lose your identity, because I don't know, it's just, it's the one thing you got.
• 8:46
  Brett: I don't know, it's just it's the one thing you got Exactly.
• 8:48
  Brett: Yeah, I mean I've run into that before, um, where I've tried to fit into a different mold that I knew I wasn't like meant for, if that sounds weird or if it makes sense at all but, um, you kind of suppress the real parts of you and I don't know it's just not my favorite way to live and so, like trying to embrace that and, um, at the end of the day, like you can't really care what people think, because they're thinking about themselves more than they're thinking about you and they might like think, oh, Lily's doing videos again.
• 9:17
  Brett: Like that's kind of weird, but that'll probably be the extent of it.
• 9:20
  Brett: And um, the other thing I've learned is like if people criticize you and they're not doing anything with their lives, they're just losers and so like why would you want to listen to a loser?
• 9:30
  Lily: yeah, so it's.
• 9:31
  Lily: It's just important, like the, it's not worth living that way, just like forgetting yourself and not acting like because you want to be like.
• 9:41
  Lily: Authentic you want to.
• 9:42
  Lily: You want to be your own self with people.
• 9:43
  Lily: You want to be comfortable.
• 9:44
  Lily: Authentic you want to be your own self with people.
• 9:45
  Lily: You want to be comfortable in your own self is what I mean to say.
• 9:48
  Lily: Like I would just it's not fun living a fake life.
• 9:55
  Brett: Yeah, you don't want to do it.
• 9:56
  Lily: Which I guess a lot of people do actually, and it's sad because, like you kind of, if you've ever dealt with that, then you'll kind of understand and you'll be, like I want to help that I don't know that's for me.
• 10:10
  Lily: I want to help people who would feel like that.
• 10:14
  Brett: How do you do that?
• 10:14
  Brett: How do you find those people?
• 10:15
  Brett: Because I'm sure they're around, especially in high school.
• 10:18
  Lily: Definitely, I think first, if they maybe let me think yeah.
• 10:28
  Brett: No, no pressure, you got time.
• 10:29
  Brett: This thing can go for four hours if we want to.
• 10:32
  Brett: You can think all you want.
• 10:34
  Lily: Yeah, I think you could find those people by seeing who judges others.
• 10:39
  Lily: A lot of people judge others because they think others are judging them, just if that makes sense 100%.
• 10:48
  Brett: Yeah, I actually just had.
• 10:50
  Brett: On Wednesday I had this girl who I saw on TikTok.
• 10:55
  Brett: She posted this video and this one's going to come out after that.
• 11:00
  Brett: So I apologize, but you might have heard the story.
• 11:02
  Brett: But she had this experience, um, experience where she went to the gym and she's kind of a bigger lady and, um, I mean her I can say that because we talked about it and like her whole, her whole tagline is I'm fat and I'm working on it.
• 11:15
  Brett: So like that's what she says and she's like trying to get after it at the gym, trying to make some healthy lifestyle changes.
• 11:20
  Brett: And one day she went to the gym when, like she really didn't want to and she saw from like the corner of her eye, there were these kids, like teenagers, who were like making like fat motions with their stomach and like laughing and stuff like that, and she's like, oh, that's weird, like maybe that wasn't towards me, whatever.
• 11:38
  Brett: So she ignored it.
• 11:39
  Brett: And then she looks over again and they're kind of like pointing at her and like laughing still.
• 11:43
  Brett: And she's like this is and like laughing still, and she's like this is really weird, um, and so she like takes her headphone out and she's like hey, can I help you guys?
• 11:49
  Brett: Like what's going on, yeah, and one of the kids looks at her and is like oh no, we don't need help from you, fatty.
• 11:55
  Brett: And, like she just said, it was horrible.
• 11:58
  Brett: And so she went into her car and she filmed a video about like she's like I don't want to be the person who's crying on the internet, but like this happened to me.
• 12:07
  Brett: It was horrible and, um, it was kind of cool, cause the opposite happened on Tik TOK.
• 12:13
  Brett: Like everyone jumped in, like was like supporting her, and a huge influencers were like hey, I'm sorry, like I just paid for your gym membership for a year, like don't let that stop you, and like all these cool things.
• 12:23
  Brett: Like everyone supported her and stuff, and so I think it's rare when things like that happen.
• 12:28
  Brett: But to the judging piece, like you were saying, her whole thing is like she didn't know how to react in that moment.
• 12:35
  Brett: But now, if it ever comes up again, like she can either step up for someone else or like say something, because like that's not a cool way to act.
• 12:44
  Brett: You and I, when we were driving over here in the car, we were like it's funny because, like you meet people who are adults, who act like they're kids and really, at the end of the day, it's like we're all just big kids, like it's really it, like I still feel like I'm your age, as weird as that sounds, but um, yeah, I think it's important to like step up and help others.
• 13:04
  Lily: No, like actual person who's comfortable in their self would make fun of someone else A hundred percent.
• 13:15
  Lily: Like everyone who is comfortable in being themselves and not worried about what others think you.
• 13:17
  Lily: Like you're not going to make fun of someone.
• 13:18
  Lily: I think what's good, like to be mindful about is like, if you're talking, this is to just help you feel better about yourself so that you can stop being mean to yourself.
• 13:31
  Lily: Is, if you're saying something mean about yourself, think like before you say it, or before you think, or whatever.
• 13:40
  Lily: Just be like, oh, would I say that to.
• 13:41
  Lily: Like another person yeah, that's huge.
• 13:42
  Lily: Just be like, oh, would I say that to another person.
• 13:44
  Lily: Yeah, that's huge.
• 13:46
  Lily: I don't know If you're being mean to yourself.
• 13:48
  Lily: Just stop and think like, oh, I would not say this to another person, so why should I say it about myself?
• 13:53
  Brett: Yeah, that's such a good lesson.
• 13:55
  Brett: See, you're 17.
• 13:56
  Brett: You're wise.
• 13:57
  Brett: I didn't learn any of those things.
• 14:03
  Brett: That lesson, specifically, I didn't learn until I got married to Allie.
• 14:05
  Brett: Um, like being nice to yourself, and that kind of thing.
• 14:07
  Brett: Because she'd come to the gym with me and she would notice like I was really mad and so she'd be like why are you so angry?
• 14:13
  Brett: And I remember I told her I was like I'm just really mean to myself and I would always kind of like cuss myself out in my head and like tell myself really bad stuff.
• 14:22
  Brett: Um, cause, like I wasn't performing the way I wanted to in the gym.
• 14:25
  Brett: And she's like you can't talk to yourself like that.
• 14:29
  Brett: And she's like you gotta be your own biggest cheerleader.
• 14:32
  Brett: And she's like if I mean, you're not going to have that a lot in the world, so you might as well support yourself.
• 14:39
  Brett: And I think it goes back to like what you're saying about just staying true to who you are, which I'm curious how have you found out who you are?
• 14:48
  Brett: I mean, you're 17.
• 14:51
  Lily: You've got a lot of big choices coming up.
• 14:52
  Lily: Yeah, I mean I still have more growing to do, but I think, reflecting and being accountable for everything that you've done and I don't know, that's a good question, because I really have no idea.
• 15:09
  Lily: I feel like it kind of just happened, you know like through experience, I assume yeah, yeah definitely like, through trials and tribulations, like I've learned how to help myself and how to stay true to myself and be confident yeah.
• 15:25
  Lily: Yeah, and I think it's important to be confident and if people once you are confident, then I feel like you are true to yourself, you know.
• 15:34
  Brett: Absolutely yeah.
• 15:36
  Lily: Like just own it.
• 15:37
  Brett: It's not like um, there's a couple of things you said there that I want to touch on for a second, but, um, yeah, like confidence it comes from what you said.
• 15:46
  Brett: Like trials, challenges, uh, we always say like confidence comes from doing hard things.
• 15:51
  Brett: Um, which is a lesson from Ali's dad, actually, that he would say, which is like why team Tim is kind of a thing.
• 15:57
  Brett: Um, you know it's, you can do hard things and confidence comes from doing them.
• 16:00
  Brett: Um, because I think during those times, you know it's like I didn't give up on myself, I didn't uh quit when I wanted to quit, and that's hard, like it's.
• 16:09
  Brett: It's a hard thing to do sometimes, but the lessons you learned during that are are worth it.
• 16:14
  Brett: Um, we don't have to get super into the details here, but what's been like a trial that you've had to face that taught you a lot about who you are.
• 16:24
  Lily: I'd say just people who bring you down, people who've brought me down, like, even like people at school, you know like it's just someone who's kind of I'm trying to think of how I could, I guess I'm trying to think of how I could, I guess there's.
• 16:46
  Lily: There's just been like times where, um, someone, like people, have been like bring, just bringing me down mentally and just like hurting me.
• 17:00
  Lily: Yeah.
• 17:00
  Lily: And like mentally.
• 17:01
  Lily: Yeah, and like mentally, so I've learned to.
• 17:09
  Lily: Just, you know, that's what they think, but I, or that's what they're saying, yeah, who knows if that's actually what they mean.
• 17:12
  Lily: I'm not going to focus on that, like I'm not going to focus on their words.
• 17:17
  Lily: That hurt, I don't know.
• 17:18
  Lily: This doesn't really make sense, but I think it does.
• 17:20
  Brett: I mean, I think you're saying a lot.
• 17:22
  Brett: That's true, um, I mean, there's people out there who are hurt and I don't.
• 17:29
  Brett: I don't know if you listen to Joe Rogan and I can't recommend him to you cause he swears a lot, but, um, he always says, like the thing hurt people, hurt people.
• 17:38
  Lily: Yeah.
• 17:38
  Brett: And that really is like from my own experience, um, from seeing other people like go through hard things like because of other people's decisions.
• 17:47
  Brett: It's because those people who do that to the like either to you or to me or anyone they're doing it out of a place because they're hurt themselves, they're in pain or you know they've been hurt and they just need an outlet to give it on.
• 18:03
  Brett: And sometimes you know that's them being rude or being mean or trying to find someone else to bring down.
• 18:08
  Brett: But that's kind of what I've learned through like experiences, through myself is like okay, well, I don't need to take their opinions seriously because they themselves are hurt people.
• 18:23
  Lily: Right.
• 18:23
  Lily: So that's why you just don't take it to heart.
• 18:25
  Brett: Yeah.
• 18:26
  Lily: Because what they're saying is just projecting.
• 18:29
  Lily: They're projecting their feelings, their hurt feelings, on you when it's actually like towards themselves.
• 18:36
  Brett: A hundred percent and it's sad, it really is sad, but um, I don't know.
• 18:40
  Brett: I think it just gives you a different perspective and a lot of times it's not easy to hear no-transcript.
• 19:12
  Lily: Like little little things, you learn from them and you move on.
• 19:14
  Lily: Yeah, I don't know if that makes sense, but yeah I say, don't focus on all those details yeah focus on how much you've grown from that whole situation.
• 19:22
  Lily: You know absolutely.
• 19:23
  Brett: Do you know how steel is made?
• 19:24
  Brett: Um no, so steel is basically iron oh, yeah, but actually I'm not gonna.
• 19:32
  Brett: No, you're good, um, like if, if you want to make steel, you have to make it incredibly hard, like hot, and then you have to beat it into like submission pretty much.
• 19:41
  Brett: And like you, I don't know, you've probably heard this analogy of a blacksmith.
• 19:45
  Brett: But if they're making like a really sharp and beautiful sword, it's gonna take a lot of work and it's gonna start with like a block of iron.
• 19:50
  Brett: And they're making like a really sharp and beautiful sword, it's going to take a lot of work and it's going to start with like a block of iron and they're going to heat it up and they're going to beat it and they're going to shape it and it's going to go through a whole transformation process, but at the end of the day, it's going to be like really sharp and strong sword, which ultimately is like you and I were talking about this in the car too.
• 20:16
  Brett: We can't choose what happens to us in our lives, but we choose how we respond to them, and I think that's how you learn, like you said, and you're forged in those trials, um, based off of your decisions.
• 20:21
  Brett: Uh, because I mean, we can all take the easy route, place blame on other people, like get mad at them for what they said or like what they did to us, but just makes you bitter Like it's.
• 20:29
  Brett: It's not a good way to live.
• 20:31
  Brett: You have to just like forgiveness is a huge thing.
• 20:35
  Lily: I 100% agree.
• 20:38
  Lily: Like for anyone who has hurt me, I, I was kind of bitter towards them for a long time, but then I just I started thinking, like it's not you know what, like I'm not going to blame them anymore, I'm just going to forgive them.
• 20:52
  Lily: I you don't have to forgive someone for what they did, but or you don't have to forgive someone for them.
• 21:00
  Lily: You can forgive them for yourself for your sake, so you can move on.
• 21:04
  Lily: Like that's so important about forgiveness is that you can forgive for yourself, not like for others it's kind of selfish in a way.
• 21:12
  Brett: But like I was just thinking that it really is like it's best for your mental health and for your overall confidence to be like you know what?
• 21:22
  Brett: Yeah, it doesn't matter, like let's let it slide.
• 21:26
  Brett: And I know we're talking very high level here because, like, there are people who have been hurt and really like in some terrible situations from other people, but at the end of the day, like I don't know, I'm a believer in Christ and he taught us how to forgive.
• 21:42
  Brett: He's forgiven me for so many things.
• 21:43
  Brett: And so he always says, like I can't remember the quote, but basically, but basically, it's so important to forgive other people, you have to forgive other people.
• 21:58
  Brett: It's like that quote that he says in the Bible, where I don't know who it was, it was one of his apostles but he's like Lord, how many times should we forgive someone who's wronged us?
• 22:05
  Brett: And he's like 70 times 7, which which is basically like it doesn't matter how many times, like just always forgive them.
• 22:12
  Brett: Um, because, like you said, I think it just puts you in a better mental state and then a better place to make decisions, and like that confidence comes from enduring some of those things sometimes and it sucks, yeah, but but in the end you've grown and you learn things yeah I think it is important, even though it sucks.
• 22:31
  Lily: You should definitely go through hard things you don't like don't take the high road.
• 22:40
  Brett: Never take the high road, just kidding.
• 22:42
  Brett: Always be the worst.
• 22:44
  Lily: No, what I meant to say is like don't just blame other people.
• 22:49
  Lily: Yeah.
• 22:49
  Lily: And like I don't even know actually where I was going with that.
• 22:54
  Lily: Just stay true to yourself, be accountable.
• 22:58
  Brett: Be accountable.
• 23:00
  Lily: Help yourself, be kind to yourself.
• 23:03
  Brett: Yeah.
• 23:03
  Lily: Kind of what I was trying to say.
• 23:05
  Brett: No, that's awesome and what's odd about that is being kind to yourself sometimes means getting after it and doing difficult things.
• 23:15
  Brett: I run for other people now I run for myself, but also just sometimes going to the gym because I know it's healthy, I know it's good for my body.
• 23:26
  Brett: Sometimes it just sucks.
• 23:28
  Brett: We were talking about getting after it.
• 23:30
  Brett: Sorry, we had some technical difficulties.
• 23:31
  Brett: The splitter almost died, so jumping in front of that.
• 23:35
  Brett: But yeah, getting after it is like I don't know what I've learned about it is.
• 23:43
  Brett: It requires discipline.
• 23:44
  Brett: Um, but discipline is, in my opinion, the highest form of self-love that you can do because, like in anything, like anything, like if it's in your diet, like your body's gonna love you more if you give it some good food.
• 23:54
  Brett: Like eat some chicken and some vegetables rather than pizza every day.
• 23:57
  Brett: Like, obviously it's okay to have balance, but, um, but in moderation in moderation, yeah, and so like there are days like I think I was talking about the gym when I just don't want to go, but I I always feel better when I do, and um, that's like one of the biggest confidence builders for me, uh, because like I show up when I don't want to do it and like it sucks, and um, that's like something I can never avoid is the suck sometimes, especially on runs, like, man, I gotta get you running soon.
• 24:31
  Brett: You're gonna do team team tim next year, by the way I know I will it's in mesa oh yeah, oh yeah.
• 24:38
  Lily: I kind of wish I went to las vegas though that one was fun, that was a good time I'm just I'm really not good at running.
• 24:44
  Lily: I did, you know, I did in sixth grade.
• 24:46
  Lily: I wanted to be in track first.
• 24:49
  Lily: Well, like we were talking about if we wanted to do sports in middle school, not military school.
• 24:54
  Lily: And bro, my brain is like going a hundred miles an hour like all the time, so I have no clue what I'm saying.
• 25:02
  Lily: That's okay, but so yeah we were talking about sports and what we were doing in middle school and or what if we wanted to?
• 25:09
  Lily: And I was like you know what track sounds fun?
• 25:10
  Lily: What if we wanted to?
• 25:10
  Lily: And I was like you know what track sounds fun?
• 25:12
  Lily: And I really wanted to do it, but I never tried out and now I hate running.
• 25:16
  Lily: So maybe if I had done track I would love it you want to know something crazy?
• 25:22
  Brett: what I also hated running really oh yeah and drew yeah, drew, drew told me before.
• 25:28
  Brett: And when was it?
• 25:29
  Brett: I think it was, uh, november of 2023.
• 25:34
  Brett: So the year Allie and I got married, he Allie, went down to run a race with Emily.
• 25:39
  Brett: Um, I think it was like Thanksgiving weekend or something like that.
• 25:42
  Brett: Yeah, and Drew showed up and, um, he told Allie he's like I'm never going to run.
• 25:47
  Brett: And Allie's like, come on, you got to do team Tim.
• 25:48
  Brett: He's like, nope, not doing it.
• 25:49
  Brett: And he's like I'm never gonna run.
• 25:49
  Brett: And ali's like, come on, you gotta do team tim.
• 25:50
  Brett: He's like, nope, not doing it.
• 25:51
  Brett: And he's like I hate it, like I always feel terrible doing it.
• 25:53
  Brett: And then, um two weeks later, he called me and he's like, hey, I want to run team tim, will you help me out?
• 25:59
  Brett: And I'm like yes, and now he's you can't stop the guy yeah, he's like freaking a running fiend he's, he's running a 50k with ali and I in october, oh my gosh.
• 26:11
  Brett: And then him and I are doing 50 milers, 50 miles in sedona next year in april.
• 26:17
  Lily: So you guys are crazy.
• 26:18
  Lily: I don't.
• 26:19
  Lily: He's a beast.
• 26:19
  Lily: I think I could do that you could.
• 26:21
  Brett: That's the thing, that's true, no, yeah don't limit yourself, guys yeah, don't limit yourself and um, usually, like with stuff like that, you, you just start out small, you start where you can and you'll build that base up and be like oh yeah, maybe I can do this Um.
• 26:35
  Brett: So yeah, I'll, I'll get you in there.
• 26:37
  Brett: Okay, you want to know a secret too?
• 26:38
  Brett: Yes, I'm building out programs for people who want to start running.
• 26:42
  Brett: Um, there's like I'll do a 5k one, a 10 K, a half marathon and then a marathon one, and so like, if people who have somewhat experience with running, then they can sign up and do like the half marathon, or if they don't, then I'll get them ready for like with a 5k.
• 26:57
  Brett: Um, but you can be my guinea pig, I'll send them to you.
• 27:00
  Lily: I was going to say fun, that that does not that, whoa Sorry, that does sound fun.
• 27:05
  Lily: Um, I mean, I like racing, you know yeah like all.
• 27:12
  Lily: I mean, maybe this is just a sibling thing.
• 27:14
  Lily: But I'll tell my siblings like, oh, I race you to this and they are like a little younger than me, a lot younger actually, but I don't know.
• 27:23
  Brett: I think it's fun, so maybe I could get into running you could I yeah, I think I could you've always been an athlete, though, like you've always been an active kid.
• 27:33
  Lily: Yeah, so you could do it I really do wish I did more, though, like, besides dance and stuff, I really I've always wanted to do gymnastics I always thought that was cool, or you know, oh my gosh, I've really been into ice skating, I think really yeah, I love ice skating so much dang, you gotta move up to yuzawa I know they got ice skating everywhere, at least in the winter time.
• 27:57
  Lily: In the summer time I don't know but like it's so fun and hockey too hockey looks fun.
• 28:01
  Lily: I would never play it, though no, yeah, it's crazy.
• 28:04
  Brett: Yeah, it's a crazy sport it really is.
• 28:08
  Lily: It's just like it's crazy determination and like there's.
• 28:13
  Brett: They're moving so fast on the ice too.
• 28:14
  Brett: Like I remember I served my mission in minnesota and, like everyone out there, they all love hockey and um, I just remember seeing like fights all the time because people would not turn the tvs off when we came over.
• 28:25
  Brett: There'd be fights all the time and then you'd see like people like sliding down the ice because they'd fall.
• 28:29
  Brett: Oh no, it's just brutal.
• 28:32
  Brett: It's a brutal sport, but it's pretty cool.
• 28:33
  Lily: Yeah, it is cool but it's kind of scary.
• 28:35
  Lily: But I think ice skating is more like.
• 28:38
  Lily: I think it's so pretty.
• 28:40
  Lily: Ice skaters are just amazing.
• 28:43
  Brett: I think you should try stuff.
• 28:44
  Brett: You gotta try it.
• 28:46
  Lily: Yeah, I just feel like I'm too old.
• 28:48
  Lily: What you?
• 28:53
  Lily: Yeah, I just feel like I'm too old.
• 28:54
  Lily: What you're 17?
• 28:54
  Lily: No, you're not.
• 28:55
  Lily: Well, because, like kids, start ice skating when they're like five or something.
• 28:56
  Lily: Yeah, they just start so young.
• 28:57
  Lily: So I'm like I.
• 28:59
  Lily: I do think I'm pretty good at ice skating, though for the most part I have fallen a couple times.
• 29:03
  Brett: I mean I think you should try it if you want to do it like I am.
• 29:07
  Brett: Of course, there's people who have been doing it forever, yeah, like.
• 29:10
  Brett: There's this runner out there who I wish I could be some somewhat like.
• 29:14
  Brett: His name's truett haynes, and he broke the world record this year for pull-ups, so he did 10,001 pull-ups in 24 hours, and then he backed it like just within 24 hours, he did 10,001, like he would do.
• 29:29
  Brett: He'd jump up and I think, like do 10 every few minutes.
• 29:32
  Brett: And then, like he just ran the Boston Marathon, which is like one of the best marathons to run to, as, like a runner, you have to qualify for that.
• 29:41
  Brett: He ran it in two hours and 36 minutes in a pair of jeans, and so, like he's just a monster, yeah, and like he posted, no, he's just a monster.
• 29:52
  Brett: And like he posted, no, he's pretty short, actually, but like he's just a beast when it comes to running and like anything fitness wise, he's so good, um, but he posted this picture of him where he was running with his dad in half marathon when he was six years old, and so he's been running since he was like a little kid as soon as he could walk, he was running.
• 30:10
  Brett: And so it's like that's not fair to me to compare myself to him because he's been doing it for so long.
• 30:14
  Brett: Like I'm on my own path, I'm on my own journey, and that's what I would say to you too.
• 30:31
  Lily: It's like you're on your own journey and that's what's cool about your age right now is you have so many opportunities to kind of decide what you want to do and where you want to go.
• 30:34
  Lily: Um, what's that feeling like?
• 30:35
  Lily: It's been a long time since I felt it.
• 30:35
  Lily: Um, it's.
• 30:35
  Lily: I think it's exciting because it's like, oh, my gosh, like there's so much that I could do, like, but it's also a little nerve wracking because there is so much that I could do.
• 30:44
  Lily: Like I don't know what?
• 30:46
  Lily: you know, it's hard to choose right now.
• 30:50
  Lily: Like I want to do cosmetology school, but ali was just telling me like being a flight attendant would be really cool.
• 30:57
  Brett: So I'm like deciding oh, there's that, I mean yeah there's so many cool things that you could do, and that's what's great is like you can try one thing.
• 31:04
  Brett: If it doesn't work out, you can try another one.
• 31:05
  Brett: Um, so, yeah, what's?
• 31:08
  Brett: Uh?
• 31:08
  Brett: What are you thinking about doing in the future?
• 31:12
  Lily: I would really love to do cosmetology school, because I just think it's so neat how like it's cosmetology all like, oh, it's just hair well, actually I have really no clue I believe it's hair, but there's.
• 31:28
  Lily: Oh yeah, because there's this other thing.
• 31:31
  Lily: I look, I forgot what it's called.
• 31:33
  Speaker 3: It's like esthetician oh yeah, yeah, which is emily's anesthetician oh yeah, so it's like makeup and um skincare or something yeah but cosmetology is like hair and stuff.
• 31:45
  Lily: But that's what I would love to do, just because I think it's so cool how a stylist could bring up someone's like.
• 31:50
  Lily: They could just make someone look so beautiful and make that person so happy.
• 31:59
  Lily: Yeah.
• 32:00
  Brett: Make them confident.
• 32:00
  Lily: Exactly that's.
• 32:01
  Lily: What I would love to do is just to help other people feel more confident in their self and just be happy with their true self.
• 32:10
  Lily: I guess yeah.
• 32:12
  Brett: Where'd you get this love for wanting to help people so much?
• 32:15
  Brett: Because, like you've always been that way.
• 32:17
  Lily: I don't know.
• 32:18
  Lily: I think I've always been like a a people pleaser.
• 32:24
  Brett: I don't know about that.
• 32:24
  Brett: I think you just want people to be happy.
• 32:26
  Brett: That's true, yeah.
• 32:28
  Lily: Well, I, just like I, want others to feel how I feel you know, I want them to feel happy as well.
• 32:33
  Lily: I want them to feel confident in, like you know, what they do in their life.
• 32:42
  Lily: I want them to just be, yeah, I just want them to be happy.
• 32:47
  Lily: Yeah, be, yeah, I just want them to be happy.
• 32:52
  Lily: Yeah.
• 32:52
  Lily: When I see others who are like sad, then like I kind of feel sad, sad just because they shouldn't be feeling that way, you know, yeah.
• 32:58
  Lily: Well, no, they can.
• 33:00
  Lily: You can feel your emotions, you can have emotions, but I just want them to have like a good life.
• 33:07
  Lily: You know, I want them to enjoy, like what's happening to them and stuff.
• 33:12
  Brett: Why do you think confidence is so important?
• 33:16
  Lily: Just because I feel like it makes you happier you know, like I, when I, I used to just kind of back to you know people comparing themselves to other, like I used to do that I still sometimes do just because I'm like, oh, that person has, that person is has so many friends and yeah, um, or just just comparing myself, and I'm like you know what?
• 33:40
  Lily: Like why should I be doing this?
• 33:42
  Lily: I'm gonna do my own thing, I'm gonna be happy and confident, and so I don't.
• 33:50
  Lily: I just feel like confidence is so important because I don't know.
• 33:53
  Lily: I'm kind of going on a rant now, but you can go as many rants as you want.
• 33:56
  Brett: That's what a podcast is for.
• 34:00
  Brett: I agree, yeah, like confidence.
• 34:02
  Brett: Um, like I said, you gotta be your own biggest cheerleader.
• 34:06
  Lily: Yeah.
• 34:07
  Brett: And sometimes like it's going to get to the point in life Um, I felt this, I'm sure you've probably felt this and if not, you probably will where there's not very many people cheering you on and if also your inner voice is telling you that you're not going to be able to do this thing, whatever it is, or you're not going to be able to, um, to be successful in anything that you want.
• 34:30
  Brett: Like that's going to be hard, and I first learned that when I went up to college, because it's like the first time I was a hundred percent on my own Cause, even on the mission.
• 34:41
  Brett: You're like tied to someone the whole time.
• 34:44
  Brett: You're screwed up just a little bit.
• 34:45
  Brett: Lights in your face, there you go.
• 34:46
  Brett: I was like there we go, fixing on on the spot, but even on the mission, like you're tied to someone 24 7 and it doesn't really feel like you're alone, like you don't really have to make any big decisions, it's just like you go out and you talk to people about jesus christ.
• 35:03
  Brett: That's really it.
• 35:03
  Brett: But at college it was like that was the first time I remember I was like, okay, well, it's all on me now, yeah, to get a job to make enough money where I can sustain myself and also did work really hard in school.
• 35:18
  Brett: And then, like everyone most people want to go to college and like hang out with friends and like have the regular college experience.
• 35:26
  Brett: But like, at the end of the day I was just so tired, yeah, and I was like man, like I should probably study, um, I had a full-time job so I like worked that into my schedule with school.
• 35:37
  Brett: But by the end of the day I was like the last thing I want to do is go out and like hang out with people and do that.
• 35:42
  Brett: But I recognize it's like it's important, um, like it's so important to have social connection, and like Um, like it's so important to have social connection and like that's all on you.
• 35:54
  Brett: It's a.
• 35:58
  Brett: It's a hard thing to sometimes grasp, like, but if your confidence wanes and you start not believing that you can do everything, or like that you can push through and like study, balance a job, balance time with friends, um, balance time with God, because I think that's really important, at least, you know, for me and so many others.
• 36:15
  Brett: But, um, it's going to get tough and you have to just learn how to keep yourself going and cheer yourself on during the way.
• 36:23
  Lily: Yeah, you have to be your own best friend.
• 36:25
  Brett: Yeah, it's tough, it's hard, but do you want to go to school?
• 36:29
  Brett: If you don't go to cosmetology school?
• 36:30
  Brett: Like, what's your, what's your plan there?
• 36:32
  Lily: I really have no idea.
• 36:34
  Lily: I do think I do want to go to school, but I just have no clue for what you know.
• 36:39
  Lily: Yeah.
• 36:40
  Lily: I think right now I'm debating on cosmetology school or being a flight attendant, just because I think I would be a decent flat attendant, because I like helping others.
• 36:51
  Brett: I think you'd be great yeah.
• 36:52
  Lily: And it's also kind of easy.
• 36:53
  Lily: I well, that depends on the type of person that you're like helping out.
• 36:58
  Brett: Yeah, I'm, you'll deal with some wackos, but you will in every single job, like, yeah, that's the thing you were telling me.
• 37:03
  Brett: There's some people, you know Walgreens, that show up and they're not the happiest bunch, um, but that kind of happens everywhere you go.
• 37:10
  Brett: So, and I don't know with with what you've talked about, with um, emotional maturity and like how you've dealt with things right now in your life like you'd be fine doing that stuff, um, so again, like I think it comes down to figuring out like what I want to do, what's exciting to me.
• 37:26
  Brett: How can it be my most true self in whatever it is?
• 37:35
  Lily: Um, also, if you're a flight attendant, you could fly anywhere you want it.
• 37:37
  Lily: So I know that's pretty sweet, I know, and like being with Allie, like going on her flights, that would be so fun.
• 37:41
  Brett: You probably would and you probably honestly would.
• 37:43
  Brett: If you're in Mesa, you definitely would.
• 37:45
  Brett: Um, but yeah, if you ever make it up to Utahah or anything like that, wherever you want to go, like, yeah, you'd be on some flights and it'd be pretty cool that would be so cool.
• 37:55
  Lily: I really I don't know.
• 37:56
  Lily: I don't know where I want to live, because utah sounds fun but also it's, it was really hot this summer, it it still is yeah, no, it's it was really bad it's gross when I went up I was like I literally I brought like three sweatshirts really yeah one pair of shorts and like the jeans and and when we went to the amusement park I swear I probably were was like dehydrated, maybe like twice that whole trip, just because it was so hot in the sun yeah it was so bad, it gets tough, and then you're at elevation too and so, like the sun feels like it's closer, um, even though it's like 3000 feet closer, but um, yeah, you went to Lagoon, huh.
• 38:33
  Lily: Yeah, it was really fun, but it kind of sucked because of how hard it was.
• 38:36
  Brett: Really.
• 38:37
  Lily: Yeah, I was like dying.
• 38:38
  Lily: I was like guys, I don't know if I can do this.
• 38:39
  Brett: Yeah, my, um, my work, they like do it every year but they take the whole company to Lagoon and, um, this year I was like I'm not going because, like, ally wasn't up there and I was like, ah man, I don't want to wait in lines all day.
• 38:52
  Brett: And it's like what you said.
• 38:53
  Brett: It was like I don't know 95 degrees or something yeah, it was.
• 38:56
  Lily: So it was.
• 38:56
  Lily: Yeah, it was like 90 yeah, it was in the 90s, the whole trip, which I think is better than it's better than arizona.
• 39:03
  Brett: Yeah, but man 120 degrees and it's been humid yeah but man, you know what's crazy is like.
• 39:10
  Brett: When I moved up to utah for the first time, I always never imagined myself moving up to utah, really never.
• 39:17
  Brett: I always like sweared it off.
• 39:19
  Brett: Um, really, I mean, yeah, talk to drew, talk to pa, like they will tell you the same thing that utah's the worst.
• 39:25
  Brett: And so I always believed that.
• 39:26
  Brett: And then I moved up there for a job and I just fell in love with it Cause, like the mountains are there.
• 39:33
  Lily: The mountains are pretty.
• 39:34
  Brett: It's gorgeous and like I don't know the people that are great Um, it's different than living in the desert, yeah, but I think what I learned during that time was, like you get to decide, you make the most of whatever situation you're in Um, of whatever situation you're in um, like, and I did, and I fell in love with utah because of it.
• 39:51
  Brett: And now when I come here, it's like I'm visiting, which is weird because I've been here, for I lived here for 24 years that's crazy, it's pretty wild, it's so crazy how old everyone's getting I'm an old man?
• 40:02
  Brett: no, you're not.
• 40:02
  Lily: I'm getting there, you know, I was thinking like the other day I was talking to my dad, shout out to him um shout out to.
• 40:08
  Lily: Yeah, I forgot to shout him out earlier, but I was telling him like dude I hope he doesn't get mad that I say his age, but he's not that old.
• 40:17
  Lily: I was like dude, you're like 38 years old, Like that's so young.
• 40:20
  Lily: He had me when he was like 21, 22.
• 40:23
  Lily: Yeah, that's so young.
• 40:25
  Lily: Like I don't know it, like I don't know.
• 40:33
  Lily: It's just so crazy.
• 40:34
  Lily: It is weird like I'm how young everyone is, like I still have grandma geege is still here and yeah, that's wild, it's I know right, I wish that I went to her party this year, but I didn't but yeah, it's just so crazy how like I have all my family and I think for that I'm so grateful because I like not a lot of people have all of their family members like with them, so it's just I'm also.
• 41:00
  Lily: I really wish that, um, everyone could experience like what I have experienced growing up, like just having family around.
• 41:09
  Lily: You know.
• 41:10
  Brett: Yeah, we really are fortunate with that.
• 41:12
  Brett: Like, um, I don't know, being married to Allie, like her talking about her dad uh passing away and things like that I, um, I've learned through her how, like, precious life is and to never take it for granted, like because things could happen Like her dad got cancer and passed away.
• 41:30
  Brett: And, um, the friend that I ran my ultra marathon for last year, he had stage four colon cancer.
• 41:37
  Brett: I think he was like 30, I think he was like 38 at the time or something like that, so he was young, he had a family of six and, like you just don't know what's coming around and so, um, it's just a place of gratitude.
• 41:50
  Brett: Like gratitude is really important.
• 41:52
  Brett: That's something that gets you through like some of the hardest days.
• 41:55
  Brett: Yeah, you've always been a grateful kid, like I think you recognize that like the importance of life and the importance of hanging out with people that you love.
• 42:05
  Lily: Yeah, I think that's also part of being like a people person.
• 42:09
  Lily: Yeah.
• 42:09
  Lily: It's just like you're grateful.
• 42:13
  Lily: I don't know.
• 42:13
  Lily: I'm grateful for what I have.
• 42:14
  Lily: I try to be, you know, because I'm also mindful of what others don't.
• 42:19
  Brett: Yeah, a hundred percent.
• 42:20
  Lily: So it's just like this, like my whole life is just like a blessing, you know.
• 42:27
  Brett: Yeah, yeah, we, we seriously, are so blessed and like, um, allie and I went over to our friend Rosie's house yesterday and I think she's 86, but she lives alone.
• 42:39
  Brett: Um, she has no family in Arizona, like they're all I think her son's in Utah and then she has like nieces and nephews that live all over the country, but um, she like it's it's rare for her to get interaction from others and like I know it's hard on her she's she's talked about it before.
• 42:57
  Brett: Um, and like every time I go over there I'm like man, I am just so lucky, like I obviously feel so bad for her and, um, like I love her and so like we go over there and spend time with her because like we don't want her to feel that way, but at the end of the day it's like man, like it just brings gratitude.
• 43:17
  Brett: And it might sound bad to say that, like other people's situations make you reflect on your own and be like you know what, at least I have people right.
• 43:24
  Brett: Um, or, like you know, nowadays I always am grateful for my health because I mean you watch me go through like my health stuff and I'm just so glad I'm through that.
• 43:36
  Brett: Like that I don't have to deal with that kind of stuff, and so gratitude is important, like that also is something that will like get you through some hard times.
• 43:44
  Lily: Yeah, exactly, I also like when I notice like, oh, this person, like I mean, we're all different in different ways, but you know, when others might not have something that I do and they're sad about it, like I just want them to feel.
• 44:00
  Lily: Yeah, for sure.
• 44:02
  Lily: That's why I like helping others is just because, like, I don't know, I'm trying to think of how I could word this, I don't know, I'm trying to think of how I could word this, but, um, just, I just like, um helping others so that they feel I don't know, they feel like they didn't lose something or that they don't have something else.
• 44:22
  Brett: I don't know.
• 44:22
  Lily: I tried to make them feel normal is what.
• 44:24
  Lily: I'm trying to say is I like I want to make them feel as normal and regular as possible, I guess.
• 44:32
  Brett: Yeah, I think it's important.
• 44:34
  Brett: It's just showing love.
• 44:35
  Brett: A lot of people don't have love in their life and that's sad.
• 44:39
  Brett: It really is sad, and I think that's why some people act out kind of what we were saying in the beginning.
• 44:44
  Brett: They are in a place of pain and sometimes it's just because they don't have love and it's a sad thing to see.
• 44:51
  Brett: But, um, I mean, what's cool is that our conversation has kind of been around that topic of like talking to other people, reaching out to them when they need it or being, like you said, you want to help other people feel confident and feel happy about themselves.
• 45:05
  Brett: But I think that comes down from love.
• 45:07
  Lily: Like you love people and, yeah, um, even if they're like, if they're rude or you know, like, yeah, I have, I still have love for them it's tough sometimes, but like yeah yeah I do agree.
• 45:21
  Brett: It's like, um, like, maybe they just had a really bad day, like you don't know.
• 45:26
  Lily: You don't know what they're going through like you don't know how, like what they're thinking or how their life has been.
• 45:33
  Lily: Yeah.
• 45:33
  Lily: What struggles they've gone through.
• 45:35
  Lily: So I think it's and it's important to be mindful of that.
• 45:39
  Lily: Pay attention like read, read the room, or I don't know.
• 45:43
  Lily: It doesn't make sense, but just pay attention to how they're acting and don't forget that, like people, go through trials and stuff.
• 45:56
  Brett: Do you know who Elder Eyring is?
• 45:59
  Lily: Yeah.
• 45:59
  Brett: He has this quote where he says, like, if you treat people like they're going through something very difficult, he said, 99% of the time you'll be right Because, like, everyone deals with different challenges.
• 46:10
  Brett: Like Allie and I are going through something right now with, like, trying to have kids.
• 46:14
  Brett: It's not great, there's a lot of uncertainty, but you know, it's something that we're like hey, at least we have each other and stuff like that, and so I think it's just important to have perspective too and try and learn from what your situation is Trying to teach you.
• 46:33
  Brett: I guess situation is Um trying to teach you.
• 46:34
  Brett: I guess is what I'm trying to say there.
• 46:38
  Brett: But yeah, it's interesting, it's a, it's a weird thing sometimes Life is not easy, but it is.
• 46:41
  Lily: I think you can definitely make it easier by being there for others, though.
• 46:46
  Brett: Have you ever had a time where someone was there for you?
• 46:48
  Brett: What was that like?
• 46:50
  Lily: Yeah, like my parents.
• 46:51
  Lily: My parents I mean my family.
• 46:53
  Lily: Another thing that I'm very grateful for.
• 46:57
  Lily: How?
• 46:58
  Brett: did that make you feel Like when you needed someone.
• 47:00
  Brett: What was that like?
• 47:03
  Lily: Loved.
• 47:04
  Lily: It made me feel grateful, you know.
• 47:07
  Lily: Also, it made me feel like happy and fortunate, you know, Um also, it made me feel like happy and fortunate you know, not a lot of people have others to lean on or anything, so when, like, people are there for me also my best friend I don't know if she's going to listen to this, but she's also been- there she better.
• 47:24
  Lily: She, I know Right.
• 47:26
  Brett: I'm just kidding.
• 47:27
  Lily: Yeah, she better, um, she better.
• 47:30
  Lily: I mean all of my friends, actually Everyone in my life.
• 47:35
  Lily: I don't have anyone in my life who is not or who has not been there for me.
• 47:43
  Lily: Everyone who is in my life.
• 47:47
  Lily: They've taken care of me, they've helped me when I'm in need.
• 47:52
  Lily: And that's what I've done for them.
• 47:54
  Lily: I tried to, at least you know.
• 47:56
  Brett: I was just about to say I think that's why you want to make a career where you're helping people, like you've always been kind of that way, like you've always focused on the needs of other people, and, um, I think it's cool.
• 48:08
  Brett: So, yeah, just keep doing it.
• 48:10
  Brett: The world needs more light.
• 48:12
  Brett: That's why people, when they come into Walgreens, they're like oh yeah, you have great aura.
• 48:15
  Brett: Like yeah you should tell that story actually.
• 48:18
  Lily: Okay, okay, so let.
• 48:32
  Lily: Okay, I was, um, I work at Walgreens, I'm a front counter person, I ring people up, basically.
• 48:33
  Lily: So this guy came in and I was ringing him out, or I was ringing him up, and, uh, once he was finished, I was like, okay, here's your receipt and coupon, whatever.
• 48:38
  Lily: And he goes oh, by the way, you have really good aura and I was like I was like, oh, thanks.
• 48:44
  Lily: I was like, yeah, thanks, that's so cool.
• 48:47
  Lily: I mean that stuff I don't really know a lot about, but it's cool to like learn about it or and, um, you know, hear about it.
• 48:55
  Lily: And he was like, yeah, albert Einstein talks a lot about it and I'm a Christian.
• 49:00
  Lily: But yeah, I was like, oh, okay, I'm going to have to look that up, by the way.
• 49:05
  Lily: I don't ever remember Albert Einstein talking about aura?
• 49:06
  Lily: I don't either.
• 49:07
  Lily: I only remember him talking about like E equals MC, squared, or whatever.
• 49:10
  Brett: That was good.
• 49:11
  Brett: Yeah, e equals MC squared.
• 49:13
  Lily: Yeah.
• 49:14
  Brett: Do you know what the E stands for?
• 49:16
  Lily: Energy.
• 49:16
  Brett: Energy.
• 49:17
  Brett: Am I right, let's go yeah.
• 49:19
  Lily: Yeah, that was a guess.
• 49:19
  Lily: Yeah.
• 49:20
  Lily: Yeah, and then, yeah, that was it.
• 49:23
  Brett: That's so good.
• 49:32
  Lily: But then someone else came up to you and was like, oh yeah, oh yeah, my co-worker did say, um, that I had white aura, and it was like I don't really remember what she said, but she was, it was really big and I was like, thanks, like that's.
• 49:37
  Lily: It was kind of funny, but I thought it was a compliment, you know, yeah, I mean it just shows like people can see that you're different.
• 49:45
  Brett: I think it's because, like you want to, like you're just a happy person.
• 49:49
  Brett: And I think it's um amazing to because, like, you've gone through some hard things in your life in your 17 years and, like um, you're not bitter, which I think is an amazing thing.
• 50:04
  Brett: There's so many people who go through hard circumstances and they just place blame on other people and they blame um God, they blame their, their situations, and they they just try and figure out like who can I get angry at for this?
• 50:20
  Brett: And it leads to a pretty angry and sad life.
• 50:23
  Brett: Um, you become hollow and I've done it before, like where I've tried placing blame on other people or like, um, it's, yeah, it's just not a great way to live, and so I think those times have shaped you into who you are and because of that, it's like you've learned how to be happy.
• 50:40
  Brett: Yeah, I think it's cool and because of that, it's like you've learned how to be happy.
• 50:43
  Lily: Yeah, I think it's cool.
• 50:43
  Lily: Yeah, I agree, it's just, it's important to not lose yourself in bad situations.
• 50:48
  Lily: Yeah.
• 50:49
  Lily: Always, again, always, stay true to yourself, you know.
• 50:54
  Brett: How do you stay true to yourself?
• 50:54
  Brett: What are some things like you like to do in your free time?
• 50:57
  Brett: Because I think that tells you a lot about what you like to do or like like who you are at least not who you are, but the things you're interested in.
• 51:10
  Lily: Yeah, uh, I mean, I think, hanging out with my friends or like my family, I I mean what is hanging out with friends now?
• 51:14
  Brett: look like, because I'm sure it's different than what it was like when I was in high school I mean, I guess we do kind of make like videos, but yeah like tiktoks like okay funny, not funny ones, I don't know actually, yeah is that all you guys do is just make tiktoks?
• 51:30
  Lily: no, not just tiktoks, like we'll go.
• 51:33
  Lily: Like me and my friend jayden just went and saw lilo and stitch oh, nice weeks ago um, so just doing fun stuff like going to the movies or the mall, or me and my friend denver have been trying to go ice skating- I love that.
• 51:48
  Brett: That's so cool yeah, I did.
• 51:50
  Lily: Uh, we went ice skating for my birthday last year and she was the only one of my friends who actually enjoyed it really yeah, and so I was like well, I haven't gone ice skating this year like at all, so let's go yeah and.
• 52:00
  Lily: But we've been really busy with like work and family and stuff.
• 52:03
  Brett: So I know it's tough.
• 52:05
  Lily: As you become an adult, your time just like somehow just disappears I know well it's tough I don't know just yet, but I'm getting an idea of it yeah, yeah, but like that's the thing is.
• 52:16
  Brett: Like, if you're passionate about ice skating or, um, whatever, that is like it's important to and it's gonna sound weird when I say is like it's important to and it's going to sound weird when I say this but like it's important to be disciplined enough to do the things you love, because it's so easy to you know, let work take over your life and you come home and all you want to do is just sit on the couch, which that's fine sometimes, but, yeah, like that's totally fine.
• 52:39
  Brett: But like I think it's also important to make time for the things that you enjoy to do, and for me, that's running.
• 52:47
  Brett: And so, like I love to run, I love to move my body, um, and it requires discipline every time because, like, I can easily let it slide, but like I love it enough to make time for it every single day.
• 53:00
  Brett: Um, I love to read.
• 53:03
  Brett: Like that's hard with with life, and like the thing is, too is like, as you get married, if you ever want to do that, or like, um, you know you have a family like it's going to get more hard, like it's it's hard because, like, I want to spend time with Allie too, because she's the best thing in my life, she's my favorite person ever, and, like I want to spend all my time with her.
• 53:22
  Brett: But it's also like, besides you yeah, you're definitely up there, um, but like definitely want to just also do things that I like to do, and so, like, the podcast is one thing that I've learned how to incorporate into it, and so chase your hobbies.
• 53:34
  Brett: Chase your hobbies because, like, they'll turn into something that is an outlet for you.
• 53:38
  Brett: Um, it's sad because I think a lot of the the reason, um, we have a mental health problem in this country and like in the world, is because, like, we don't have a lot of time to do the things that we enjoy.
• 53:52
  Brett: Actually, I had on a therapist, um.
• 53:55
  Lily: Oh, I saw that, yeah, I heard a little bit of it.
• 53:58
  Brett: She came on and she talked about really just men's mental health, because it was June and that's Men's Mental Health Month.
• 54:03
  Lily: Which I think is important, because a lot of people I think just they only talk about like women's mental health which is important.
• 54:12
  Lily: I think both are equally important.
• 54:14
  Brett: Yeah, I think just being but a lot of people forget about men's mental health.
• 54:18
  Brett: I know I've dealt with my own battles Like it's not been easy.
• 54:20
  Brett: I know I've dealt with my own battles like it's not been easy, like a lot of times.
• 54:23
  Brett: It was when I was sick, but now my hormones are all over the place because I have a tumor in my freaking brain that messes up my hormones and so, like I've learned just to be able to find things I've enjoyed and doing so it puts me in a much better mental state.
• 54:40
  Brett: But yeah, it's tough, like because life gets busy.
• 54:44
  Brett: Yeah, yeah, just never let your passions die.
• 54:47
  Brett: If I'm going to give you advice, like you're going into, you know, your 18th year.
• 54:52
  Brett: You're going to go maybe to college, maybe to flight school, who knows?
• 54:55
  Brett: But yeah, don't let your passions die.
• 55:00
  Lily: Yeah, I think it'll help you enjoy life a lot more.
• 55:03
  Lily: It'll also make it easier, I guess 100 you know, you can't forget about your um health, your mental health, yeah yeah, it's weird.
• 55:14
  Brett: Is that a big challenge in high school nowadays, like, do do people struggle with it?
• 55:19
  Lily: yeah, pretty bad.
• 55:19
  Lily: I think a lot of kids do.
• 55:22
  Lily: I feel like school now I don't even know.
• 55:27
  Lily: It's just like sometimes it feels like schools don't even really care about their kids my school, I don't even know.
• 55:37
  Lily: I don't know, I don't really like my school actually.
• 55:40
  Brett: Do you think social media has something to do with it?
• 55:42
  Lily: Oh, 100% Really, yeah, I think, because first of all it just I think it makes people less social.
• 55:51
  Brett: Yeah, which is odd, because it's called social media.
• 55:55
  Lily: I was literally just thinking that, like it's called social media, but yet no one's being social and like I feel like social half of social media is just like one's being social and everything like.
• 56:02
  Lily: I feel like social half of social media is just like fake and like pretending yeah and then which gets people's mental health down, like nobody goes outside anymore, um, nobody, I've.
• 56:14
  Lily: I've stopped texting a lot of people really.
• 56:16
  Lily: Yeah, just because I mean, if it's like people that I don't see, often like, I'll be like, oh hey, what's up.
• 56:22
  Lily: But if it's like my friends from school, I don't really text them that much or FaceTime sometimes, just because I don't like it.
• 56:30
  Lily: Yeah, I rather see them in person.
• 56:33
  Brett: Oh man, you're speaking my language here.
• 56:35
  Lily: Yeah.
• 56:35
  Brett: Allie and I like we have to distance.
• 56:37
  Brett: Sometimes, you know, because she's a pilot, she's based down here, and times, you know, because she's a pilot, she's based down here and like every time she leaves I'm like, oh my gosh, like this is going to be tough because, like I hate FaceTime, I do but like I love her enough to like talk to her and I want to hear how she's doing.
• 56:50
  Brett: But it's like night and day difference than when you're in person with someone and like you're hanging out with them and all that kind of stuff.
• 56:56
  Brett: Um, that's one thing that Kim talked about the therapist that came on.
• 57:00
  Brett: She's like the reason people fall into depression a lot of the time is because they don't have connection.
• 57:06
  Lily: Yeah, Like they feel like they don't have someone to lean on.
• 57:09
  Lily: Yeah, yeah.
• 57:10
  Lily: They don't feel, like they can't tell people like how they're feeling or anything.
• 57:14
  Brett: That's tough.
• 57:14
  Brett: It's hard, yeah, but I mean that's just something that like you got to figure out in life is how you can have connection.
• 57:25
  Brett: And um, yeah, I mean it gets kind of more difficult as you're an adult because, like you're not in school anymore.
• 57:30
  Brett: Yeah, it's like the people you see are at church, they're at work, um, and so like you try and make friends that way, like you meet friends for other people, um, but also I've recognized that those connections are a lot more meaningful than like in high school.
• 57:46
  Lily: Yeah.
• 57:47
  Brett: Because I, um, you, you brought up the pack rats and I love all those guys but I thought, like when we were going to graduate high school, like I thought, you know, I legitimately thought this I thought we were all going to like live by each other, cause we always talked about it and stuff and um, but then, like we all went on our missions, everyone came back, they went to different colleges and then it just got hard because they made friends there and I made friends where I was at Um, but yeah, like it's important to have connection in some way.
• 58:17
  Brett: Um.
• 58:18
  Lily: I think it's important to stay in touch, but also it can't be one-sided 100% I hate.
• 58:24
  Lily: That's happened to me so much, where I'm texting people all the time and they'll only text when I text them.
• 58:32
  Lily: It's annoying, so I think that's also part of the reason why I stopped texting people.
• 58:38
  Brett: That's fair.
• 58:38
  Brett: I'm the worst texter, by the way, so if I text you, or if you text me and I don't answer, it's probably just because I don't check my messages that much.
• 58:48
  Brett: So it's nothing against you, no, just call me whoever it is.
• 58:53
  Brett: But yeah, you too I feel bad um no, it's fine yeah, and then you get, you have a job, so you gotta do all that stuff, but anyways, but yeah, um, what do you hope to like what's your future?
• 59:05
  Brett: And like not career-wise, like do you hope to have a family and stuff like that yeah, I would like to have like a family, maybe by 24, 25 24 years old, dang way ahead of me, so you're way more mature than I am.
• 59:21
  Brett: No, I'm like.
• 59:22
  Brett: You know, ali and I were trying to have kids and stuff, but I'm like oh man, am I ready for it like?
• 59:26
  Lily: I'm scared.
• 59:27
  Lily: You know, I was actually asking ali the other day.
• 59:29
  Lily: I was like like I don't, because I feel like a lot of people ask young couples like yeah when are you gonna have kids?
• 59:35
  Lily: And I know that that would be annoying, because I would be annoyed with that too, but I was was just asking, allie, like not trying, I don't know, maybe I, whatever, anyways.
• 59:45
  Lily: So I was like are you ever like?
• 59:47
  Lily: Would you even want them?
• 59:49
  Lily: That's what I was asking, Not like would you?
• 59:51
  Lily: And she was like yeah.
• 59:52
  Lily: And I was like are you ever, though?
• 59:54
  Lily: Cause, brett, I know Brett's kind, yeah, I'm scared of being a dad, definitely.
• 59:59
  Brett: But like I also know from talking to other people, from seeing like I think a little squish all the time, like I love her so much.
• 1:00:09
  Brett: I love how much she loves you.
• 1:00:10
  Lily: It's so cute.
• 1:00:11
  Brett: It's the cutest freaking thing ever.
• 1:00:12
  Brett: She's got my heart and it's man kills me.
• 1:00:15
  Brett: I mean, all those kids do I love them all, but like I don't know I see that joy and but like I don't know I see that joy and like I love talking about progression and like seeing yourself succeed in things, and I want to see, like a little kid that Allie and I bring into the world.
• 1:00:30
  Brett: Like I want to teach him how to walk, I want to teach him how to you know read and I want to teach him, like how to ride a bike, like do all those little things that you always like imagine you're doing as a parent.
• 1:00:39
  Brett: I know it's not going to be easy.
• 1:00:41
  Brett: Like I like imagine you're doing as a parent.
• 1:00:43
  Brett: Um, I know it's not going to be easy.
• 1:00:44
  Brett: Like I've also talked to some parents.
• 1:00:45
  Brett: I had this one of my um old bosses on.
• 1:00:46
  Brett: Her name's kate and she's a beast when it comes to parenting.
• 1:00:50
  Brett: Like she has a three-year-old and a and then twins, um and so like.
• 1:00:57
  Brett: But like ever since I've known her, it's been cool watching her, her become a mom and then like learn all these different things from motherhood.
• 1:01:04
  Brett: And like I'm like I want that too, like I want to be able to do that and like she'll tell me how hard it is and how sometimes she gets like two hours of sleep and I'm like, yeah, but that's a sacrifice I'm willing to do, like bringing a kid into the world.
• 1:01:18
  Brett: Yeah.
• 1:01:19
  Brett: Like having all that kind of things and yeah, just definitely scared of it, though, like by all means, um.
• 1:01:27
  Brett: But like that's one thing I've learned in life.
• 1:01:29
  Brett: A lot is fear is only as bad as you make it Like, of course, there's things you shouldn't be doing, like don't jump out of an airplane without a parachute.
• 1:01:39
  Brett: That's probably stupid, um.
• 1:01:41
  Brett: But I'm talking about like with fear, with things in life, like that with getting married.
• 1:01:46
  Brett: Like I was scared to get married.
• 1:01:49
  Lily: That was the best thing ever.
• 1:01:51
  Brett: Best decision I've ever made, yeah.
• 1:01:54
  Lily: You know sorry.
• 1:01:55
  Lily: No, you're good, I'm going to go off topic really quick.
• 1:01:57
  Lily: Let's go.
• 1:01:58
  Lily: I will always remember the first time I like met ali, which was on facetime.
• 1:02:03
  Lily: Was it?
• 1:02:04
  Lily: Yeah, really yeah.
• 1:02:06
  Lily: What was it?
• 1:02:06
  Brett: like let's hear the story.
• 1:02:07
  Brett: Well, it was just embarrass her a little bit no there was nothing embarrassing, I don't think.
• 1:02:12
  Lily: I was just like oh, I remember when you guys first started like talking and stuff, yeah, like first started dating, I think and um, yeah, I started.
• 1:02:21
  Lily: I I just remember that facetime was really fun, like yeah when I I met, I remember meeting all of my aunts I tell her all the time.
• 1:02:29
  Brett: I'm like I know my family loves me, but they love you way more, like she's the coolest well, she's the best.
• 1:02:36
  Lily: Yeah, I do really love ally.
• 1:02:37
  Brett: She's like that's okay, you can say no, you can say she's like it's okay, you can say no you can say she's cooler than me.
• 1:02:45
  Brett: You can say it okay, she's cool, yeah, I know, I know she's way cooler you guys?
• 1:02:48
  Brett: Yeah, she is she's really cool, she's really cool, but you are too but the thing is like I was so scared to marry her.
• 1:02:54
  Brett: Yeah, because?
• 1:02:55
  Brett: Not because like I was scared of her, like I was afraid of commitment yeah I was mainly fear of like this this woman is amazing.
• 1:03:04
  Brett: Like I love her so much and I want to make sure that she always feels that way and like I got to live up to some serious like people who she had in her life.
• 1:03:13
  Brett: Like the way she talked about her dad and her family and, um, the people that she's surrounded herself with.
• 1:03:19
  Brett: I'm like I need to be that for her, and so I probably built up the expectations too high in my head of like what I needed to be for her.
• 1:03:29
  Brett: But, like, when I married her and like we started our life together, it was just it's been nothing but amazing, um and so like that's definitely kind of the mindset I take with like having a kid, and I'm sure you feel some fear with like choosing some big, big decisions that are coming up here in a year or so.
• 1:03:44
  Brett: How do you manage that?
• 1:03:47
  Brett: What do you do?
• 1:03:52
  Lily: I don't know.
• 1:03:52
  Lily: I try and get after the problem honestly.
• 1:03:54
  Lily: Not the problem but yeah, I was stressing out about we took our ACTs in.
• 1:04:01
  Lily: Oh, I remember that.
• 1:04:02
  Lily: Yeah, I was stressing out about, like, we took our ACTs in.
• 1:04:04
  Brett: Oh, I remember that.
• 1:04:05
  Brett: Yeah, that was stressful.
• 1:04:06
  Lily: That time's the worst, I got two hours of sleep the night before.
• 1:04:09
  Brett: Really.
• 1:04:09
  Brett: I'm so serious Did you get your results back.
• 1:04:12
  Lily: Yeah, I got like a 20 for I think overall or something, that's pretty good.
• 1:04:17
  Lily: Yeah, it's not bad.
• 1:04:18
  Lily: I guess, yeah, but it was really stressful.
• 1:04:22
  Lily: I did so bad on my math one.
• 1:04:24
  Lily: I don't even remember what I got.
• 1:04:25
  Lily: I think I got like a 15 on it.
• 1:04:28
  Lily: That's okay, but it was really stressful and, yeah, I got like barely any sleep the night before, anyway.
• 1:04:37
  Lily: So after the ACTs I was like, holy crap, what the heck am I going to do with my life?
• 1:04:40
  Lily: What am I going to do after high school, like I'm about to graduate?
• 1:04:43
  Lily: And so I started like researching all these schools and stuff and like where they were, how you know, I had like three Zoom interviews or whatever.
• 1:04:54
  Brett: For school?
• 1:04:55
  Brett: Yes, dang.
• 1:04:56
  Lily: And they were like oh, so when are you planning on coming?
• 1:04:58
  Lily: And I was like I'm actually still in high school, so probably like next year.
• 1:05:02
  Lily: Yeah.
• 1:05:02
  Lily: They're like oh okay.
• 1:05:04
  Brett: Like we'll put this on the hold list.
• 1:05:07
  Lily: Yeah, yeah, but I was just, I was just really nervous about it, so I just instantly got after it.
• 1:05:12
  Lily: Yeah.
• 1:05:13
  Lily: You know I didn't waste any time.
• 1:05:15
  Lily: And even my best friend I know she I was like asking her what do you want to do for school?
• 1:05:23
  Lily: Like do you have a plan?
• 1:05:23
  Lily: She's like I don't really know, I don't know if I want to go to college or whatever.
• 1:05:27
  Lily: And I was like okay, and so on our last day of school or the night before, I made like a bunch of these, like I made her a, a test to see what she'd be good at that's cool it was like a 10 question test and it's like if you had mostly a you or this or something like that.
• 1:05:45
  Lily: And then, uh, I also just researched a lot of schools, like in different areas, like colorado, arizona, utah, like everywhere yeah and I was just like here's this.
• 1:05:57
  Lily: And then and she, I actually was talking to her like a couple of weeks ago and she said that she found out what she wanted to do because I didn't want to force her to do anything, but I wanted to help her, you know.
• 1:06:13
  Brett: I mean, that's what a friend does.
• 1:06:14
  Brett: Like a friend is someone who shows up for someone else and helps them, like with anything, like is there for them.
• 1:06:22
  Brett: It's someone you can rely on, someone who you have fun with like, and that's.
• 1:06:27
  Brett: It goes back to what we were talking about, about like you wanting to help other people.
• 1:06:30
  Brett: Like that's amazing.
• 1:06:31
  Brett: Like I never did anything like that when I was in high school.
• 1:06:34
  Brett: I was like, um, yeah, you guys figure it out.
• 1:06:37
  Brett: Like I'm going on my mission and I'll talk to you guys later.
• 1:06:39
  Brett: Um, I mean, I was always there for my friends and stuff, but like I wasn't trying to figure out, help them figure out what they want to do with their career.
• 1:06:46
  Brett: I think that's amazing.
• 1:06:47
  Brett: Like you're just a good person.
• 1:06:51
  Lily: I try to be.
• 1:06:52
  Lily: I, yeah, I used to take, or I used to just be say jokes.
• 1:06:58
  Lily: You know, I was telling you that's in the car, just like, like I'd be too mean and so I'd be like wow, that was too far, like maybe I shouldn't have said that yeah because like, oh, maybe that hurt their feelings, like you know when you go to bed and you like reflect on your day or whatever oh yeah or like you reflect on embarrassing situations or whatever.
• 1:07:17
  Lily: Um, that's what I would do and I'd like, wow, like, maybe that was.
• 1:07:21
  Lily: Maybe I should not have said that out loud yeah um I've had those too.
• 1:07:26
  Brett: Yeah, I've had regrets like that, but, um, I mean, I think it's that's regret is a good thing.
• 1:07:33
  Brett: Um, to some degree, like I always think like regret helps teach you what not to do in the future yeah um, so I think it.
• 1:07:42
  Brett: It's pretty amazing that you understand that at your age.
• 1:07:45
  Brett: And I think, with whatever you do in your life, lily, like you're going to be fine because one you care so much about other people, you're a hard worker, you're smart People like you, like you're just a good person, like we've been talking about, and with getting after it, like, specifically, whatever you get after in life, like you're gonna make the most of it because you are passionate about the things that you do and you want to be successful, and like I think that's it's a rare thing nowadays.
• 1:08:13
  Brett: Um, so all I'd say is just like keep doing it.
• 1:08:16
  Brett: Like keep going into that, even if there's uncertainty.
• 1:08:19
  Brett: Like walk into the uncertainty, walk into the fear.
• 1:08:22
  Brett: Um, one of my favorite quotes I think about a lot is fear is a mile wide but an inch deep, and so like it looks like this huge, scary thing that you have to walk into until you step in and you're like, oh, just a puddle, it's a really long puddle.
• 1:08:37
  Lily: So you know um.
• 1:08:38
  Lily: Do you know what like rejection therapy is?
• 1:08:42
  Brett: I think so.
• 1:08:43
  Brett: Isn't that like where you go, and Like.
• 1:08:46
  Lily: I think most of the things that I've seen is like people going up to strangers and asking them a question or like, or just like talking to them, or yeah.
• 1:08:55
  Lily: Like I saw this guy who was like hey, do you guys think that I could take a picture with the pilot and like the cockpit or whatever?
• 1:09:01
  Lily: Yeah, hey, do you?
• 1:09:02
  Lily: guys think that I could take a picture with the pilot in the cockpit or whatever, yeah, so I saw a couple videos about that a while ago and I was like maybe I should start doing that.
• 1:09:08
  Lily: And so I have been.
• 1:09:11
  Lily: And part of it is fear, yeah, because rejection like I don't want to be rejected, I know, even with asking someone out, I think rejection therapy will help that a lot because it's like who?
• 1:09:27
  Lily: cares what they say, like okay, if they say no, whatever.
• 1:09:30
  Lily: I mean sometimes like people are mean when you ask them out, or whatever.
• 1:09:33
  Brett: They might be, but, like at the end of the day, it doesn't matter.
• 1:09:36
  Lily: Exactly Like if they're being mean.
• 1:09:38
  Lily: That's kind of embarrassing for them, cause it's like why are you talking bad about?
• 1:09:41
  Brett: a stranger.
• 1:09:41
  Brett: Yeah, if they're being mean, I think that shows you it's like okay, I actually.
• 1:09:44
  Brett: You just answered all my questions.
• 1:09:46
  Brett: I don't want to go out with you Exactly Like that just shows their true self, 100%.
• 1:09:52
  Lily: But yeah.
• 1:09:53
  Lily: So I went to the mall with my friend like a week or two ago and I was like like picking out a record for my record player, and I was like, oh, I don't know which one to pick out, and there's this guy like right behind us and I was like I'm just going to ask him because my friend wasn't any help.
• 1:10:08
  Lily: So I asked him.
• 1:10:10
  Lily: He did not actually help at all.
• 1:10:12
  Lily: He was like, oh, I don't know what were the two records.
• 1:10:14
  Brett: I want to know what you're into.
• 1:10:20
  Lily: It was Tyler, then Call Me If you Get Lost, or whatever.
• 1:10:22
  Lily: Call Me when you Get Lost.
• 1:10:23
  Brett: That's pretty good.
• 1:10:24
  Lily: I kind of forgot, but yeah, so I was like which one?
• 1:10:27
  Lily: He was like, oh, I've only listened to this one.
• 1:10:28
  Lily: I was like, okay, that did not help.
• 1:10:30
  Lily: You suck I was like oh, I was like, bro, you can help me.
• 1:10:34
  Lily: Then I was like whatever, you know, once you get out of your comfort zone, yeah, rejection therapy helps for sure.
• 1:10:46
  Lily: Yeah, and then you can.
• 1:10:47
  Lily: You won't be scared of a lot, a lot of things, you know yeah, it's not as bad.
• 1:10:50
  Brett: It's not as bad as you.
• 1:10:51
  Brett: You put it up to be in your mind yeah, exactly um rejection therapy.
• 1:10:55
  Brett: I think I learned that on my mission because like it's so hard to get people to listen about jesus christ, like people on the street, just random people, and they know who you are, so like they'll avoid you when you're walking up to them.
• 1:11:06
  Brett: Yeah, um, but like it taught me, it's like okay, like it's not for everyone, whatever it's not my problem yeah, and it's like obviously you want to see that person be happy and like I believe, like the whole reason I went out on my mission was because I think, like the gospel of Jesus Christ can make people very happy, but you're going to get rejected, you're going to be told no.
• 1:11:27
  Brett: And now I'm in sales where I get told no every single day.
• 1:11:30
  Brett: But again it's like, okay, that's just part of it, right, and I always tell myself like when I get someone to tell me no, I'm closer to getting one person to tell me yes.
• 1:11:40
  Brett: It's like I don't know I have to go through five no's to get to a yes.
• 1:11:49
  Brett: So, yeah, I think rejections it's an important thing to recognize doesn't mean that much and it can feel very daunting in the moment, like if you get rejected in a job interview, that'll feel a lot different than if you ask someone out on a date, but like there's going to be other jobs out there, um, and so I think it's again just perspective, like trying not to be in your head all the time and trying to focus on what you can control, because ultimately that's what it comes down to, that's the decisions that you make.
• 1:12:13
  Brett: Um, like what we were saying, like you can't control what happens to you in life, but you control how you respond and that's yeah, that's where the money's made.
• 1:12:21
  Brett: You know, that's what's important.
• 1:12:24
  Lily: So you can't help others.
• 1:12:26
  Lily: If you can't or wait, you can't help others.
• 1:12:28
  Lily: They have to help themselves or something.
• 1:12:31
  Lily: Yeah, I mean yeah, you know what I'm talking about, though you can't help others unless they want it really.
• 1:12:37
  Brett: Yeah, Um, like going back to Drew running a marathon, I would tell him to run all the time and be like come on, you got to run, you want to run, like it's so good, it's so important, and he always tell me no until like he was ready for it, yeah, and so, um, you can't control other people, but you control how you respond to them and like that kind of thing.
• 1:12:54
  Brett: So, um, we're talking.
• 1:12:57
  Brett: Do you know who the Stoics are?
• 1:12:59
  Brett: I'll be very impressed if you know who the Stoic philosophers are.
• 1:13:03
  Lily: They sound familiar, but I don't think.
• 1:13:05
  Brett: There's this one Stoic His name is Socrates.
• 1:13:10
  Lily: Oh yeah, yes, I do know.
• 1:13:12
  Brett: Also known as Socrates.
• 1:13:13
  Brett: If you've seen Bill and Ted's Excellent Adventure, have you seen the movie?
• 1:13:16
  Brett: You haven't seen that.
• 1:13:18
  Brett: No, I'm sorry, drew, get on that right now.
• 1:13:21
  Brett: That's so sad.
• 1:13:23
  Brett: That's like one of the best movies, but it's like these guys who are just, they're like metalheads, it's like an 80s movie, so it's so good, but they just play music in their garage and they're flunking school and they somehow they have a history exam that they have to pass and if they don't, they're going to have to go like one of them is going to go to military school, the other one's going to like flunk out or something, and so somehow they get a time machine that they can go back and like learn history when it's happening and they call Socrates.
• 1:13:55
  Brett: They're like oh yeah, socrates, like what's up?
• 1:14:01
  Brett: Socrates.
• 1:14:01
  Brett: So, like my entire life I thought his name was Socrates until I heard someone say Socrates and I was like what, anyways?
• 1:14:07
  Brett: But he has this thing.
• 1:14:08
  Brett: Socrates has the same where he's like um, I'm going to get it wrong and I don't want my phone cause it's over there.
• 1:14:14
  Brett: But basically the whole concept is about how, um, we can't control our circumstances, but we can control our like focus.
• 1:14:24
  Brett: Basically, like you know, no matter how dark things can get, we control what our focus is on, and that's easier said than done, like I'm still working on that nowadays, but it really is the truth, like, whatever you focus on, whatever's important to you, try and have the best attitude towards it.
• 1:14:40
  Brett: So ready for the last question.
• 1:14:45
  Lily: I'm ready.
• 1:14:46
  Brett: What does getting after it mean to you?
• 1:14:50
  Lily: Um, I think getting after it means, um, you know, just like going straight straight to the point, going straight through the problem or fixing the problem.
• 1:15:05
  Lily: You know, like I was saying, I just, yeah, just going straight through the point, like get through it, learn go for it.
• 1:15:12
  Lily: Yeah, exactly that's what I meant Go for it.
• 1:15:14
  Brett: I think that's huge.
• 1:15:15
  Brett: There's a lot that you're going to do in your life, um, but when, like if you feel uncertain about whatever path you want to take or whatever, I would just say, yeah, exactly that, just go for it.
• 1:15:29
  Brett: Like you're young enough to where, if you try something and it doesn't work out, you can move to something else.
• 1:15:34
  Brett: Like I started in marketing in my career.
• 1:15:37
  Brett: Didn't really like it, so I went to sales and I love it.
• 1:15:39
  Brett: But whatever you do, just go for it.
• 1:15:44
  Brett: Make the most of it.
• 1:15:46
  Brett: You're going to do great in whatever it is.
• 1:15:49
  Brett: I hope you will.
• 1:15:51
  Brett: You will.
• 1:15:52
  Brett: I have 100% faith in you and so many other people do too.
• 1:15:54
  Brett: But yeah, you're going to do amazing things.
• 1:15:59
  Lily: Thank you.
• 1:16:00
  Lily: Thank you for saying that.
• 1:16:02
  Brett: Of course, course I mean, I wouldn't say it if I didn't mean it.
• 1:16:04
  Brett: But, lil, you're amazing.
• 1:16:07
  Brett: I really appreciate you coming on thanks for inviting.
• 1:16:10
  Lily: Well, thanks for letting me come on.
• 1:16:12
  Brett: I invited you on, come on okay no, you did you did thanks for inviting me but yeah, I really appreciate it.
• 1:16:17
  Brett: Before we wrap up, anything else you want to leave the listeners with.
• 1:16:23
  Lily: Just be confident.
• 1:16:24
  Lily: Fake it till you make it.
• 1:16:25
  Lily: Fake it till you make it.
• 1:16:27
  Lily: It sounds corny, but it's so true it helped me a lot.
• 1:16:29
  Lily: Yeah, and stay true to yourself and learn from mistakes.
• 1:16:34
  Lily: That's it.
• 1:16:35
  Brett: Amen, I love that.
• 1:16:37
  Lily: It really is Like cliches are cliches for a reason and I feel like fake it till you make it is one yeah so, yeah, just try and be confident where you can, and if you gotta fake it, that's okay yeah, tell a few I'm serious put like sticky notes of nice things and tell it to yourself every day, because if you tell your brain something, um, if you tell your brain something every day, it'll start to believe it.
• 1:17:03
  Lily: That doesn't make sense.
• 1:17:04
  Brett: No, it does.
• 1:17:04
  Brett: Like there's legitimate neuroscience out there that says like, um, your brain can't really distinguish between a memory, or like your imagination, and so like if you tell yourself oh yeah, I'm confident, I'm confident.
• 1:17:18
  Brett: And then you start to believe that.
• 1:17:19
  Brett: Yeah, it's like it really does work.
• 1:17:21
  Brett: Um.
• 1:17:21
  Brett: So yeah, I think it's like it really does work.
• 1:17:22
  Brett: Um.
• 1:17:23
  Brett: So yeah, I think that's a, it's a great thing.
• 1:17:24
  Brett: Just go all in.
• 1:17:25
  Brett: Yep.
• 1:17:26
  Brett: Well, you're amazing.
• 1:17:27
  Brett: Really appreciate you coming on.
• 1:17:29
  Brett: This is fun.
• 1:17:30
  Brett: This is like me, um talking to my younger version of me.
• 1:17:35
  Brett: Um, but yeah, I really appreciate it.