Latest / The Tom & Gerry Show Podcast / Episode 111: Labour Pains
Transcript
- 0:00Speaker 1: You know.
- 0:00Speaker 2: I don't get political, but it seems these days that
- 0:05Speaker 2: by the time I go up a ladder and come
- 0:07Speaker 2: back down again, we've changed woman prime minister. I don't
- 0:12Speaker 2: know what's going on at all. Maybe if I'm patient enough,
- 0:16Speaker 2: I'll get a turn. If so, prepare to see some
- 0:20Speaker 2: sweeping reforms in the field of steam engineering.
- 0:25Speaker 1: I can tell you that.
- 0:34Speaker 3: Hello everybody, and welcome to what will be the shortest
- 0:38Speaker 3: ever episode of the Tom and Jerry Show with myself,
- 0:41Speaker 3: Jerry McBride and himself Tom. O'Mahoney, because even though we
- 0:45Speaker 3: love every single listener to the Tom and Jerry Show, Tom,
- 0:49Speaker 3: you are mistaken. If you think I'm sitting in the
- 0:51Speaker 3: hottest room in the house on the hottest day of
- 0:54Speaker 3: the year, I am turning into soup over here.
- 0:57Speaker 1: Watch this now, people watched us, Just watch us. You'll
- 0:59Speaker 1: know by the end of it that Jerry's probably done
- 1:02Speaker 1: an hour and twenty five minutes, given out yards and
- 1:04Speaker 1: before you know it, he'll get up and go to leave,
- 1:06Speaker 1: and the seat would be stuck to his anus. That'll
- 1:09Speaker 1: be it.
- 1:09Speaker 3: He'll have look down at the scroll bar here and
- 1:11Speaker 3: you'll see it hour and forty five for all McBride's talk,
- 1:15Speaker 3: but it's a hot one time.
- 1:16Speaker 1: One of my favorite phrases from a heat like this
- 1:18Speaker 1: is the bag wouldn't be long sticking to your leg.
- 1:21Speaker 1: I think I actually invented that one myself, but I
- 1:23Speaker 1: like it. I like everybody knows what it means. Do
- 1:26Speaker 1: you know what speed and timing is? Is a thing
- 1:29Speaker 1: er because I learned a valuable lesson at the weekend
- 1:32Speaker 1: I was in. I was in Waterford and on the
- 1:36Speaker 1: way back I had to come through a place called
- 1:38Speaker 1: kill mc thomas. And there's one of these big airbeam
- 1:41Speaker 1: or not the airbeam apple Apple Greens? Yes, and do
- 1:45Speaker 1: now do like fast food Asian food? As if Asian
- 1:49Speaker 1: food isn't fast enough anyway, this is even faster. And
- 1:52Speaker 1: it's just one variance of the exact same fucking thing
- 1:54Speaker 1: nineteen times over, kicking in shiny shit. And when you're starving,
- 2:01Speaker 1: this is you know, like Corita bis sead as they
- 2:03Speaker 1: say that delicious, delicious, And I ate it down with
- 2:07Speaker 1: ghosto Jar and I would warm anybody who has a
- 2:13Speaker 1: you know, an iron forty at least at most an
- 2:16Speaker 1: Aaron forty of a drive, because that's that was where
- 2:19Speaker 1: it is that's where things clocked off. Sure, an iron
- 2:22Speaker 1: forty of a driver as that, and you find yourself
- 2:24Speaker 1: at a service station full of cork j fans and
- 2:27Speaker 1: lo and behold the door on the cubicle, absolute fucking
- 2:31Speaker 1: lookally does not lock.
- 2:33Speaker 3: Absolutely what I warned you about last week.
- 2:35Speaker 1: It was the I honestly in my time of I
- 2:37Speaker 1: mean we're talking, this was a photo finisher. I leave
- 2:40Speaker 1: the family and the keys behind you, like, well, what
- 2:42Speaker 1: are you getting into this ship? I had to go, no,
- 2:45Speaker 1: you go start your own I will find you after
- 2:48Speaker 1: an emergency, the last chopper out of Sidgon kind of
- 2:50Speaker 1: scenario like this was. And then when I finally got
- 2:53Speaker 1: in the door and the door doesn't even come to
- 2:55Speaker 1: the thing has been like molested on the hinges and
- 2:59Speaker 1: hasn't been fucking looked at in months. And you've got
- 3:02Speaker 1: one hand, one index finger hold praying some youngster in
- 3:06Speaker 1: a fucking cork boocket hat doesn't come flying in the
- 3:09Speaker 1: door as as your Chinese comes back to see you.
- 3:13Speaker 1: It was it was crazy. I'm I'm do you know
- 3:17Speaker 1: what we're two days? Two days a day and a
- 3:19Speaker 1: half really prior a post and yeah, that's me off
- 3:24Speaker 1: the off the Asian list for a while, the fast
- 3:28Speaker 1: the super fast food Asian stuff for a while. I agree,
- 3:32Speaker 1: if you want to sponsor the podcast, no problem, but
- 3:34Speaker 1: I can't endorse your your whatever's going on with that
- 3:37Speaker 1: Chinese thing like a man can only a man's inside
- 3:40Speaker 1: can only take so much MSG. And then to drink
- 3:44Speaker 1: a flat white down on top of a chair. Not
- 3:46Speaker 1: a good cop.
- 3:48Speaker 3: I mean, like, I don't like the victim blame, nor
- 3:51Speaker 3: do we like the victim blame on the Tom and Joy.
- 3:53Speaker 1: I'm I have two hands in the air here, jr.
- 3:57Speaker 1: Two hands, and I'm forty four years of age. Long
- 4:00Speaker 1: enough I know that this combo is a terrible idea.
- 4:03Speaker 1: I should have gotten a granola bar and it's just
- 4:06Speaker 1: a bottle of water and a bottle of water and
- 4:08Speaker 1: shut the fuck up. Instead, I ate like an asshole.
- 4:12Speaker 1: Do you know the asshole who finds themselves on those
- 4:14Speaker 1: TV shows? You know, thirty nine stone and goes I
- 4:17Speaker 1: don't know how it happened. For like fifteen minutes, that's
- 4:20Speaker 1: where my brain was at. I was that person, and
- 4:24Speaker 1: thankfully I learned a lesson from my soda, all my
- 4:26Speaker 1: insights and just a lesson that I've advised to anybody,
- 4:29Speaker 1: go for it. But if you know where the next
- 4:32Speaker 1: service station is within twenty to twenty five minutes, go
- 4:35Speaker 1: for it. Go for roll the dice.
- 4:37Speaker 3: But if you've got only young ones, if.
- 4:39Speaker 1: You've got an arm forty minutes of back roads, don't
- 4:43Speaker 1: do it. Don't fucking do it.
- 4:45Speaker 3: Well there you there, there, you have the lay of
- 4:47Speaker 3: the land for today's comedy output. Ladies and gentlemen. Tom's
- 4:51Speaker 3: insides may not last an hour. I'm sitting here like
- 4:54Speaker 3: I'm sitting in a freaking slow cooker.
- 4:56Speaker 1: Do you know what you remind of? The bone you
- 4:58Speaker 1: remind me of? Remember in that movie, the TV show Chernobyl,
- 5:01Speaker 1: the guy that got blessed with all the protons and
- 5:03Speaker 1: he just started to turn to lasagna over fucking two
- 5:05Speaker 1: day period. As Jerry is like, he's, I mean, he's
- 5:10Speaker 1: he's starting to crust. That's where he's starting to now,
- 5:13Speaker 1: he's starting to bubble and crust. He's nice looking. If
- 5:15Speaker 1: you looked into the oven door right now, but honestly,
- 5:17Speaker 1: I'd say after about forty five minutes and it'll look
- 5:20Speaker 1: it'll look blackened on the top, and I can last
- 5:23Speaker 1: thing we need is Jerry having a black top.
- 5:25Speaker 3: And that I can't even crack open a window here
- 5:27Speaker 3: now because there's young guy's playing football outside. So I'll
- 5:29Speaker 3: tell you what we do. I think it's best that
- 5:32Speaker 3: we crack on with this show, buddy, we'll be in
- 5:34Speaker 3: and out of here. And I said, well, we're not
- 5:36Speaker 3: going to short change anybody when it comes to laughs
- 5:38Speaker 3: that we've now that we've set out the terms and conditions.
- 5:42Speaker 1: Yeah exactly, Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah.
- 5:44Speaker 3: But fuck it, we've gone ahead with the show. Ladies
- 5:46Speaker 3: and gentlemen, this is time for the weekly what have you.
- 5:49Speaker 3: This is a very complicated case, mad You know, a
- 5:51Speaker 3: lot of ian's, a lot of outs, a lot of
- 5:52Speaker 3: what have you, and uh, a lot of scrans to
- 5:55Speaker 3: keep in my head.
- 5:56Speaker 1: Man, it had to happen, Jerry, because it was jew
- 6:00Speaker 1: It was due you.
- 6:02Speaker 3: Six months had passed.
- 6:03Speaker 1: Yeah exactly, So I mean some sort of ceremonial bell
- 6:06Speaker 1: had gone off. I'm guessing somebody would have sword had
- 6:08Speaker 1: to walk up through a building somewhere. They probably had
- 6:11Speaker 1: to put a strange key in a thing and then
- 6:13Speaker 1: shout out something three times, turn around and kill a crow.
- 6:17Speaker 1: But the latest PM from Britannia has fucking jump ship.
- 6:25Speaker 3: Do you know what the funny thing about it is?
- 6:26Speaker 3: Tom okay, all of it. We're recording this on Monday
- 6:31Speaker 3: as British PM care starmer has stepped down by the
- 6:34Speaker 3: time this episode drops on Thursday, and another British PM
- 6:38Speaker 3: might have stood down. That's the rate they're going through
- 6:40Speaker 3: these focus at the minute. It's but I guarantee the
- 6:43Speaker 3: new guy will be still there.
- 6:45Speaker 1: It's both admirable and it's at a level that the
- 6:48Speaker 1: kind of shit you know, there's mad countries you hear
- 6:51Speaker 1: like Truckmenistan, although no, he ain't gone anywhere for a
- 6:53Speaker 1: long time, that guy. But you know these countries you're like,
- 6:56Speaker 1: do you know Albania? New countries like you know, and
- 6:59Speaker 1: you can't even new or even all right, you know
- 7:03Speaker 1: one they're just kind of fuck acting on and finding
- 7:05Speaker 1: their feet when it comes to being a government because
- 7:08Speaker 1: you know, there've been this long as you know, let's say,
- 7:11Speaker 1: I don't know Team War, which is only twenty years
- 7:13Speaker 1: old or something, is it independence, you'd allow them to
- 7:17Speaker 1: fuck actually finding their feet a bit like but these bastards, lads,
- 7:21Speaker 1: you've been at it a long time and it's snowballing
- 7:25Speaker 1: with like it's completely acceptable now to not take the
- 7:28Speaker 1: plastic off the cover of the company phone you got.
- 7:32Speaker 3: Don't cut new keys for number, don't.
- 7:37Speaker 1: Even put a name on the door, just put prime
- 7:38Speaker 1: minister on the door. That's it.
- 7:41Speaker 3: And long term listeners to The Tom and Jerry Show,
- 7:44Speaker 3: we'll know we're not a political podcast, so quite frankly
- 7:48Speaker 3: that the political commings and goings of our British chums
- 7:52Speaker 3: really don't interest us all that very much. But the
- 7:55Speaker 3: fact that Keir Starmer six months into the job joins
- 7:58Speaker 3: why my count Tom becomes I should say, by my count,
- 8:02Speaker 3: the sixth prime minister to step down in the history
- 8:08Speaker 3: of the Tom and Jerry Show is really something.
- 8:11Speaker 1: That's a good way to put it. Look at it. Yeah, yeah,
- 8:14Speaker 1: we're still here.
- 8:14Speaker 3: We haven't like swapped it out. Yeah, many have called
- 8:18Speaker 3: for Tom I should be called the Tom and Hughes story.
- 8:22Speaker 3: Tom Hughes Show, get rid of that Jerry fucker.
- 8:24Speaker 1: Who do you think who do you think had the
- 8:26Speaker 1: shortest in that time? Right? Because there's been great like
- 8:30Speaker 1: we're up to fifty eight prime ministers.
- 8:32Speaker 3: Right, I'm not going to fuck with no end of
- 8:34Speaker 3: it now, But it seems like they're on a real
- 8:36Speaker 3: hot streak of getting rid of people. I know David
- 8:38Speaker 3: Cameron left like ten years ago after bregsit.
- 8:41Speaker 1: Yeah he was exactly let me see.
- 8:43Speaker 3: If I can even name them. Yeah, David Cameron left.
- 8:46Speaker 3: And what do you call our trees of making in
- 8:49Speaker 3: basically John Major in address exactly. Yeah, we don't, we
- 8:53Speaker 3: don't look shame on the Tom and Jerry Show. But
- 8:56Speaker 3: a ghoulish woman.
- 8:58Speaker 1: Yeah, not mid type, I won't lie.
- 9:01Speaker 3: You know, there's a there's a there's a there's a
- 9:03Speaker 3: there's a there's a bolt for every note. But a
- 9:05Speaker 3: gooulish looking woman. Boris Johnson, I want to say it
- 9:08Speaker 3: came next right, and he fuck acted around for a
- 9:11Speaker 3: wee bit. Yeah, and like he lasted longer than he
- 9:15Speaker 3: should have, like he could have been gone within a
- 9:16Speaker 3: form like let's take a bad look at this lad.
- 9:19Speaker 1: They all kind of have the look for a prem
- 9:22Speaker 1: you know what I mean that? Yeah, you know the
- 9:23Speaker 1: oh yeah, you know they drive over, you know they
- 9:31Speaker 1: like they hang out with Hays and Bouquet where.
- 9:33Speaker 3: He's never done like what you or eye with glasses
- 9:35Speaker 3: to be a day's work.
- 9:36Speaker 1: No, And Boris Johnson always struck me as a fellow
- 9:38Speaker 1: that does cocaine off dwarf's heads. Do you know what
- 9:42Speaker 1: I mean? He's I would tell you one in mind, like.
- 9:44Speaker 3: I'll tell you one thing for Boris Johnson. Do you
- 9:46Speaker 3: know the way like every town has one of these lads,
- 9:50Speaker 3: just a ladd in the pub that you know, not
- 9:52Speaker 3: the fucking mess with. He's a pure bull ignorant. Yeah,
- 9:56Speaker 3: like deceptively strong.
- 9:59Speaker 1: Should say, the semi f that young fla. He leveled
- 10:02Speaker 1: that child as some rugby tournament, like he just fucking
- 10:06Speaker 1: like he didn't just he was wasn't looking another way.
- 10:08Speaker 1: He dropped the shoulder on that young fla.
- 10:09Speaker 3: Like he's he's like Mars Johnson's a lot of things,
- 10:12Speaker 3: but I'll tell you what he is. He's a big man.
- 10:15Speaker 1: He's a fucking big lump of him. But he has
- 10:18Speaker 1: done behind him there like Harry Enfield has him nailed,
- 10:21Speaker 1: like you know, Tim, Tim Nice, but Tim like you know,
- 10:23Speaker 1: just a big foppish, fucking weirdough like with that ridiculous hair.
- 10:28Speaker 3: But at the same time like Tim Nice, but Tim
- 10:30Speaker 3: if he would like just crush a rabbit skull.
- 10:34Speaker 1: But you you know, like Johnson was head head head
- 10:40Speaker 1: of all those, He was head of all those lads
- 10:43Speaker 1: in you know, skull and bones, like doing fucked up
- 10:47Speaker 1: stuff like making on a basically do you know what
- 10:48Speaker 1: I mean? All that's weird. Ship.
- 10:50Speaker 3: He's never done a normal day in his life. Like here,
- 10:53Speaker 3: who's after Johnson? I want to say, it was no
- 10:55Speaker 3: trees may no, no, no, no.
- 10:57Speaker 1: Liz trust Liz trusts.
- 11:00Speaker 3: And now she was short because they run a thing
- 11:02Speaker 3: in the paper that she wouldn't last the same amount
- 11:04Speaker 3: of time as a cabbage fifty days ahead of cabbage
- 11:08Speaker 3: fifty days. Yeah, yeah, I remember that day. I o
- 11:12Speaker 3: by his money going on past fifty days and the
- 11:14Speaker 3: heuse I'm.
- 11:14Speaker 1: Looking for her, Yeah yeah, yeah, fifty days like there's
- 11:16Speaker 1: there's there are fridge products in my fridge that are.
- 11:21Speaker 3: Fifty days plus like that. I will have no, probably
- 11:24Speaker 3: takes more than fifty days to get through a bottle
- 11:26Speaker 3: of seven seas now you said it, you know. And
- 11:30Speaker 3: then it was Rechi's bigger part Ricchi Suna after that,
- 11:34Speaker 3: and then into Keer Starmer and now he's fucked out
- 11:36Speaker 3: as well, Like I gotta tell you, when you take
- 11:38Speaker 3: that into account, Tom, and then you take into account
- 11:41Speaker 3: the fact that meehall Martin has been head of fen
- 11:43Speaker 3: of falls since two and eleven for fifteen straight year.
- 11:48Speaker 3: And it's not like he's not We're not a political podcast, Tom,
- 11:52Speaker 3: but he's due a performance review, one would say, at least, right.
- 11:55Speaker 1: I don't know how you like even in the company,
- 12:00Speaker 1: unless you're killing it, you don't. You don't hold onto
- 12:03Speaker 1: the flag that for that long. You just don't get
- 12:06Speaker 1: like if you and your country I know is definitely
- 12:10Speaker 1: not a company. And I know people because that's what
- 12:13Speaker 1: Trump's initial thoughts was that he was going to run
- 12:15Speaker 1: a country like a company or whatever, and it's not.
- 12:18Speaker 1: But it's the same time. You drop the fucking ball
- 12:22Speaker 1: that many times, and I know you've got a lot
- 12:24Speaker 1: of fucking things to play off things, but at the
- 12:26Speaker 1: same time you're.
- 12:27Speaker 3: Like, here, you're not set up for success.
- 12:30Speaker 1: One might say, but there's there's no recourse for failure either.
- 12:33Speaker 1: But in Ireland there's no recourse. There's there's no reprocaussions,
- 12:37Speaker 1: Like you just really.
- 12:38Speaker 3: Isn't you just feel?
- 12:39Speaker 1: You go what else?
- 12:40Speaker 3: Yeah?
- 12:40Speaker 1: What else? Like what are we gonna do about? Who?
- 12:43Speaker 1: Who wants this? You know what I mean?
- 12:44Speaker 3: You know, the turn around and go look yeah, in
- 12:46Speaker 3: Ireland they go like yeah, ever and ship, but like,
- 12:50Speaker 3: come on, what do you want to do? Yeah, quit quinn.
- 12:53Speaker 3: I'm not a quittor. And it's like, actually, yeah, you
- 12:55Speaker 3: know what, leave him in charge for all that. Like
- 12:57Speaker 3: this is madness, you know. That's like going out with
- 12:59Speaker 3: someone that you fuck hate and you're like been with
- 13:01Speaker 3: them a long time. Though at the same time, it's
- 13:03Speaker 3: money wasted at this ditch.
- 13:04Speaker 1: And if I'm not mistaken, I think our T shirt
- 13:07Speaker 1: gets a lot more money in the PM now. I'm
- 13:09Speaker 1: sure there's more potential as a PM to make money
- 13:12Speaker 1: out down the side.
- 13:13Speaker 3: With the opportunity to earn tom isn't that mad money
- 13:16Speaker 3: at that on the sales the.
- 13:18Speaker 1: Private the private sector after that, if you set up
- 13:20Speaker 1: enough arms deals, you know, out of Afghanistan and stuff
- 13:22Speaker 1: like that. I'm just saying that you could potentially end
- 13:24Speaker 1: up in a nice little gig afterwards where you get
- 13:26Speaker 1: show for it everywhere in the fucking mayback. But you're
- 13:30Speaker 1: right in that it's admirable and laughable with the bridge
- 13:34Speaker 1: all at the same time. It's laughable because they're running
- 13:36Speaker 1: the fucking place into the ground and nobody seems to
- 13:39Speaker 1: have a fucking hand on the tiller. But it is admirable.
- 13:43Speaker 1: I think there's something to admire about either somebody having
- 13:47Speaker 1: the fucking bottle to just fuck off an or for
- 13:50Speaker 1: the British people to go it's a fucking disgrace. Get out,
- 13:54Speaker 1: get out, you know.
- 13:56Speaker 3: And like I'm soft hearted, Tom, if I had enough
- 13:58Speaker 3: people yelling at me that I'm useless and I should leave,
- 14:02Speaker 3: I'd be like terribly sorry for wasting your time.
- 14:05Speaker 1: I had no idea that there'd be a point where
- 14:07Speaker 1: you'd have like, there has to be a point where
- 14:09Speaker 1: you go, yeah, they might be right at this. I
- 14:14Speaker 1: might be way better a golf.
- 14:15Speaker 3: You know, we've we've we as comedians, Tom know when
- 14:18Speaker 3: we've outstayed our welcome on stage and we cut things short.
- 14:21Speaker 3: What we don't do is like get ready for another
- 14:24Speaker 3: half an hour. This lad's this is exactly an hour.
- 14:26Speaker 3: Joke's more common.
- 14:27Speaker 1: And you know what, you take pride in taking your
- 14:29Speaker 1: licks and telling your friends. And I've talked on many
- 14:32Speaker 1: podcasts about, as they say, in the business eating dicks.
- 14:35Speaker 1: And we had a whole segment once upon a time
- 14:37Speaker 1: called My worst giy Gamer and you're happy.
- 14:40Speaker 3: To take it for a long time now.
- 14:41Speaker 1: It did, But you know, what we knew when to
- 14:44Speaker 1: park it. We fucking knew when to parket the last
- 14:46Speaker 1: fucking sixteen years. I can tell you that point.
- 14:48Speaker 3: I'll tell you that much. Here's the thing, Tom, it's
- 14:50Speaker 3: it's and we're not going to spend all night talking
- 14:52Speaker 3: about British politics because again we stress and let them matter.
- 14:59Speaker 3: But it it's a completely different mentality from not just
- 15:03Speaker 3: political life, but just job life. Like I personally, if
- 15:06Speaker 3: I ever got a job, I would always say, well,
- 15:09Speaker 3: this is my job now, and I will do this
- 15:11Speaker 3: for as long as I can, and I will do
- 15:14Speaker 3: the best I can. And I may not like it,
- 15:16Speaker 3: but this is the job and we're going to we're
- 15:19Speaker 3: going to keep going on it. And then you'd meet
- 15:20Speaker 3: lads that will be just like quitting jobs every two weeks.
- 15:23Speaker 3: Fuck it, I'll go on to something else, yeah, in
- 15:25Speaker 3: another place, and like but they get given a new
- 15:28Speaker 3: uniform or whatever it be, and they'd be like, you know,
- 15:30Speaker 3: our fucking no, actually I'm going to jump I just
- 15:32Speaker 3: kept jumping ship every six months, going around the place.
- 15:35Speaker 3: Now I ask you, Tom, who's right.
- 15:38Speaker 1: Yeah, I mean if if if if? Yeah, if at
- 15:42Speaker 1: first your shite move on? Yeah, do you know that
- 15:45Speaker 1: that gets an element. Now, I my my thinking with
- 15:49Speaker 1: these fuckers of ours is that they can't see what
- 15:54Speaker 1: to do afterwards? Do you know what kind of way
- 15:56Speaker 1: like well, like are they all trying to get to
- 15:58Speaker 1: the pensionage and just just clip it at that? Because
- 16:01Speaker 1: what do you go do after that? Because you I mean,
- 16:06Speaker 1: what do you hire me Hal Martin to do? Do
- 16:08Speaker 1: you know what I mean? Maybe make a decent school
- 16:11Speaker 1: principle or something like that, But what do you hire
- 16:13Speaker 1: him to do? Because you can't put him out front
- 16:15Speaker 1: of the house, you know as a sales guy, you know,
- 16:18Speaker 1: because you've got a big windows firm and you know,
- 16:20Speaker 1: like you do. You see a lot of sports stars
- 16:21Speaker 1: end up falling into gigs like that where they go,
- 16:24Speaker 1: I'm kind of the face of you know, the pm
- 16:26Speaker 1: group or you know, I'm kind of the face of
- 16:28Speaker 1: KPMG and Munster or whatever, and that's the thing that happens.
- 16:30Speaker 1: You're like, yeah, he's an affable character, and he's nice,
- 16:33Speaker 1: he shakes hands and he knows how to you know,
- 16:35Speaker 1: buy a drink and buy there's nothing. There's nothing you
- 16:38Speaker 1: can do with me. While Martin's sure the other end of.
- 16:42Speaker 3: Things, Tom could I put forward a counter argument, retire bitch.
- 16:46Speaker 1: Fuck could sit in the house.
- 16:49Speaker 3: There's nobody sit in the house anymore.
- 16:51Speaker 1: They want they want to fuck a pensioner. They want
- 16:53Speaker 1: the pension.
- 16:55Speaker 3: I know, I know this. I know it's a whole
- 16:57Speaker 3: different mentality, but I've said it to you, Tom. There's
- 16:59Speaker 3: I have a I have a in my head, and
- 17:01Speaker 3: it's not high. If I ever got that amount of
- 17:04Speaker 3: money into my hand, you would never fucking hear from me.
- 17:06Speaker 3: Ye yeah, yeah, yeah. You'd sign up sign in for
- 17:08Speaker 3: the podcast next Monday, and I just wouldn't be there.
- 17:11Speaker 3: I'd be like, good Will hunting. You'd be rapping on
- 17:13Speaker 3: the door. Yeah, I guess he ain't here, Will ain't
- 17:15Speaker 3: home today, I'll be gone.
- 17:17Speaker 1: Yeah yeah. And I do you know what I I
- 17:21Speaker 1: it dug into my brain. I was like, well, okay, well,
- 17:23Speaker 1: what's the residing the thing with all these uh these pms.
- 17:28Speaker 1: And something I remember hearing before was that the I
- 17:31Speaker 1: know we have the likes of klongoes here, but which
- 17:34Speaker 1: you know shapes boys for the future. Yeah, doesn't it
- 17:36Speaker 1: just eating eating twenty of the fifty odd that's some
- 17:41Speaker 1: percentage twenty of the of the of the the fifty
- 17:45Speaker 1: eight pms went to eating. Now, I mean if that
- 17:50Speaker 1: doesn't tell you, you know, you know the likes of
- 17:52Speaker 1: Boris Johnson, David Cameron, I know they went. You know,
- 17:56Speaker 1: there's and they have all the look at that pudgy
- 17:58Speaker 1: school boy look like seven went to Harrow, which is
- 18:03Speaker 1: essentially the same thing. You know. I think Bennett comber
- 18:06Speaker 1: Back went to Harrow on the Hill, you know, Westminster.
- 18:10Speaker 1: I think there was six uh fucking and Winchester College,
- 18:13Speaker 1: which again is they're all four cheeks of the one arts,
- 18:16Speaker 1: if you know what I mean, Like Richie sun as
- 18:18Speaker 1: Soon that went to that, and you get that the
- 18:20Speaker 1: odd ones like and typically their labor that went to
- 18:23Speaker 1: as they call him, grammar schools, you know, regular schools.
- 18:27Speaker 1: But like you know what I mean, like you know
- 18:28Speaker 1: what I mean, they were they're either pupposed for the
- 18:31Speaker 1: time like whatever, being driven by somebody who went to
- 18:33Speaker 1: fucking eating behind them, like but when you look at
- 18:37Speaker 1: it then it's it's you look at them. I just went, well,
- 18:41Speaker 1: I wonder if they're in similar you know, I'm guessing
- 18:44Speaker 1: not many t shocks went to my school, I can
- 18:48Speaker 1: tell you and lo and behold, Yeah, well we all
- 18:51Speaker 1: know Leo Radker. I mean he's more Tory than fucking
- 18:55Speaker 1: the Tories. He went to wait here where he went
- 18:58Speaker 1: to school? On? Go on, where do you reckon?
- 19:01Speaker 3: He went to school? I know he's I know he's
- 19:02Speaker 3: at our direction. So he went to like Castle Knock he.
- 19:05Speaker 1: Went no, no, no, no, he went no no, no, no.
- 19:08Speaker 3: No no no, not the lowly Castle Knock.
- 19:10Speaker 1: Not lowly Castle Arch isn't enough. And I was thinking, oh,
- 19:13Speaker 1: did he go to a crowd with you know, a
- 19:14Speaker 1: decent sports program, because that's where you know, Because I
- 19:17Speaker 1: was like, was it Michael's or Blackrock the Big Five?
- 19:21Speaker 1: Did he go to? He probably went to Clongos did
- 19:23Speaker 1: He probably went to clong Goes with the rule and
- 19:25Speaker 1: of course he didn't play any fucking sports he went
- 19:27Speaker 1: to and it's famous for something else these days. He
- 19:31Speaker 1: went to King's Hospital School.
- 19:35Speaker 3: Who who many with this institution? No, I you know,
- 19:39Speaker 3: I gotta tell you concerned myself where people.
- 19:42Speaker 1: Went to school a certain No, am I wrong? Or
- 19:45Speaker 1: because you're more up to date with the news, a
- 19:47Speaker 1: certain chat hanging out outside the school gates? Oh no,
- 19:51Speaker 1: that's that's not a hospital school as well?
- 19:53Speaker 3: No, it might be all right, but that's in Westmead,
- 19:56Speaker 3: will you?
- 19:58Speaker 1: Oh on a second, hold on, I.
- 20:01Speaker 3: Gotta tell you to everyone, and then I'll be talking
- 20:03Speaker 3: to people and to be talking about where they went
- 20:04Speaker 3: to school, this, that and the other not you know,
- 20:06Speaker 3: so and so he went to school here, and I'll
- 20:07Speaker 3: be like, we're grown ass men and women here. What
- 20:09Speaker 3: the fuck do we care where? People?
- 20:10Speaker 1: I know?
- 20:10Speaker 3: Yeah, just a whole different world, you know, it's a
- 20:12Speaker 3: whole different ballgame. I turned around, go like, well, I
- 20:16Speaker 3: went to school in Tech and character across.
- 20:18Speaker 1: It's yeah, well it's not a millionmized. It's in Palmerstown,
- 20:22Speaker 1: isn't Okay?
- 20:23Speaker 3: Palmerstown is out their way here.
- 20:25Speaker 1: Right, Okay? Well okay, well.
- 20:27Speaker 3: Full of fucking soft handed. Yeah, come fight in Palmerstown.
- 20:31Speaker 3: You know where to find me. You know where to
- 20:33Speaker 3: find me?
- 20:34Speaker 1: Where did you know me?
- 20:36Speaker 3: In the clan Silane?
- 20:40Speaker 1: I got because people I'm eating pizza with the kids,
- 20:45Speaker 1: because people are shouting out what we call Wilson's Hospital
- 20:48Speaker 1: School even more protty.
- 20:50Speaker 3: That was another boy, Yeah, that.
- 20:51Speaker 1: Was that was what That's enough for? Right?
- 20:55Speaker 3: Well, I'll tell you what, Tom. We'll wrap up this
- 20:56Speaker 3: segment with a very simple question, how long do you
- 20:58Speaker 3: think there's new prime minister is going to last if
- 21:01Speaker 3: indeed he hasn't been fucked out by.
- 21:03Speaker 1: I reckon, we should send over me home Martin. Let
- 21:06Speaker 1: him become the new prime minister. Jesus would not be
- 21:08Speaker 1: nice because he like he went to another what he did.
- 21:10Speaker 3: We're not a political podcast, but he wouldn't need to
- 21:13Speaker 3: learn much to fit right in.
- 21:16Speaker 1: No, no, he wouldn't. That's what happened. But no he
- 21:21Speaker 1: well do you know what Leo like I said, he
- 21:24Speaker 1: torrius fuck hates poor people. You know it goes on
- 21:28Speaker 1: and you know I'm from an immigrant family. You are,
- 21:30Speaker 1: yet your father was a doctor. Relaxed, you went to
- 21:32Speaker 1: fucking King's Hospital.
- 21:33Speaker 3: You're okay, Grant, it's one of these things. Is not
- 21:37Speaker 3: like the other here?
- 21:38Speaker 1: No, no, no, no, you were listen.
- 21:39Speaker 3: I'll tell you what Andy Burnham I want to call him.
- 21:42Speaker 3: I want to say the very best. Look, hope you
- 21:45Speaker 3: don't get knocked out by Christmas. And he's not like
- 21:48Speaker 3: I got fifty quid riding on you being knocked out
- 21:50Speaker 3: before christ and make the new year. There, buddy, what
- 21:53Speaker 3: party is he? Is? He?
- 21:54Speaker 1: Labor?
- 21:54Speaker 3: The labor?
- 21:55Speaker 1: Okay, light tell.
- 21:57Speaker 3: These days to be honest with you. Ah, that's I'll
- 21:59Speaker 3: tell you. Oh, we'll do Tom still as a place
- 22:01Speaker 3: in the cots is guaranteed. We will. We will park
- 22:07Speaker 3: the British Politics section of the Tom and Jerry Show
- 22:11Speaker 3: a first for the Tom and Jerry Show there. But
- 22:13Speaker 3: we never know. We might come back when the when
- 22:15Speaker 3: they start walking at this guy in in three months time.
- 22:17Speaker 3: Enough about those lads, Tom, I have an idea. Let's
- 22:20Speaker 3: talk about this lad.
- 22:23Speaker 1: Now there's that guy. This lad is right up your
- 22:27Speaker 1: street and I need to know more.
- 22:29Speaker 3: He Well, when you say right up my street, Tom,
- 22:31Speaker 3: I think what you mean is right right tracks.
- 22:34Speaker 1: Well, right up your street. Car we'll call it so yes, indeed,
- 22:37Speaker 1: probably yeah, because I didn't like how you said that
- 22:40Speaker 1: at all.
- 22:41Speaker 3: Don't don't doesn't sound a better in my head, is
- 22:45Speaker 3: what I was going to say, Tom. This week's this Lad.
- 22:48Speaker 3: Everybody knows what the segment this lad is all about.
- 22:50Speaker 3: It's about like a very very special person that pops
- 22:53Speaker 3: more than anybody else. Just it's just like stands out
- 22:55Speaker 3: among the rest for good and for ill, sometimes because
- 22:58Speaker 3: they do good, sometimes because they do bad.
- 23:01Speaker 1: And we'll we'll we'll hold.
- 23:04Speaker 3: Jury on this one, Tom, there's a train driver in Dublin.
- 23:09Speaker 3: You know it's drivers and Donny goll I'll tell you
- 23:11Speaker 3: that much.
- 23:12Speaker 1: Starter to Lewis. Yeah, oh no, there's not like they're
- 23:15Speaker 1: all turning into greenway. It's not to sect your bikes on.
- 23:18Speaker 3: You know you don't need public transport in that direction.
- 23:20Speaker 3: No crab a bicycle you all right? You can cycle
- 23:22Speaker 3: to the hospital forty miles away. There is a train
- 23:25Speaker 3: driver way, not the Lewis train. And he has gone
- 23:30Speaker 3: viral and indeed has become a known character in the
- 23:34Speaker 3: last eighteen months for his charming, uplifting and motivational speeches
- 23:42Speaker 3: that he makes over the train's public address system while
- 23:47Speaker 3: he announces what station is next. He won't just say
- 23:52Speaker 3: this train is for Docklands. He'll say this train is
- 23:54Speaker 3: for Docklands, and you're looking gorgeous today. Don't let anybody
- 23:57Speaker 3: bring you down. Be the best you you can be.
- 23:59Speaker 3: And remember, folks, it's only a day job. It's not
- 24:02Speaker 3: worth falling for. It's not the love of your life.
- 24:05Speaker 3: Don't fall on your way off the train. Things like this,
- 24:09Speaker 3: and he features heavily on the line that I go
- 24:15Speaker 3: to and from work with. So I've heard this many
- 24:17Speaker 3: many times. How do this bop around for? He goes
- 24:19Speaker 3: on several lines. I mean, I guess it's like, well,
- 24:21Speaker 3: you're doing this route today, you're doing that route today, whatever,
- 24:24Speaker 3: or you're gone the eight o'clock shift, you're on the
- 24:26Speaker 3: nine o'clock track, whatever it might be. But several times
- 24:29Speaker 3: on my way to work, I have had the pleasure
- 24:33Speaker 3: of getting these motivational speeches, and I wanted to know
- 24:38Speaker 3: your thoughts on it, Tom.
- 24:40Speaker 1: I wonder I like the general feeling of a group
- 24:44Speaker 1: of people, because there's nothing like Irish people in the
- 24:47Speaker 1: morning for being a bunch of cyinical cons Like you
- 24:49Speaker 1: could say the nicest thing to them, like here you
- 24:53Speaker 1: fucking going on?
- 24:54Speaker 3: It must be said, Tom, it must be said that
- 24:57Speaker 3: he is buying large, universally beloved.
- 25:01Speaker 1: Some of them. I read it. I'm glad you said charming, right,
- 25:04Speaker 1: because you sent this on to me and I I
- 25:05Speaker 1: started reading it and I sent it on to me
- 25:08Speaker 1: and I genuinely read it like the guy was having
- 25:10Speaker 1: a mental breakdown. I don't know why, because can I
- 25:13Speaker 1: read it? It's a fine line, Tom, Can I read
- 25:15Speaker 1: it in a different tone?
- 25:16Speaker 3: Please please read it out to me. Read it out
- 25:19Speaker 3: to me as you read it, and I'll read it
- 25:21Speaker 3: as I would have heard it, because I've heard this
- 25:23Speaker 3: pant dozen times.
- 25:24Speaker 1: Okay, bing bong upcoming stations on your left there, please
- 25:30Speaker 1: keep all doors clear. Heading for Connley. Now it's one
- 25:35Speaker 1: day is raining, but sure remember, ladies and gentlemen, this
- 25:40Speaker 1: life is for living and enjoying. I suppose, so long
- 25:44Speaker 1: as you're doing what you you want to do, and
- 25:46Speaker 1: Christ is not. It's not hurting anybody, never hurt anywhere,
- 25:52Speaker 1: and you're having fun. Who cares? What cares Jesus Christ?
- 25:58Speaker 1: It was? It was just a for the output. Why
- 26:02Speaker 1: does she have to throw me out? Sleep in what
- 26:09Speaker 1: anybody else thinks? Let's enjoy your day.
- 26:11Speaker 3: You look, you look lovely.
- 26:13Speaker 1: That's anybody and like.
- 26:15Speaker 3: It couldn't come across as that.
- 26:17Speaker 1: That's absolutely how I read it. I didn't think this
- 26:21Speaker 1: was over and eight my perd. I thought this is
- 26:22Speaker 1: over a weekend with his poor No, this is you know,
- 26:27Speaker 1: don't slip and fall like so it sounds like he
- 26:31Speaker 1: or somebody belonged to him slipped and fell like.
- 26:34Speaker 3: Slip yeah, like your life.
- 26:38Speaker 1: Like it sounded like he was being fired because he
- 26:40Speaker 1: was you know, your job isn't worth fucking running for
- 26:43Speaker 1: because or you know, he's losing out now because he's
- 26:45Speaker 1: you know, he's broke his hip or something like. It
- 26:47Speaker 1: didn't sound good to me as I read it, So
- 26:49Speaker 1: I'm delighted that he's a charming fellow.
- 26:51Speaker 3: It's more charming. Can I read that exact same passage
- 26:54Speaker 3: how he would deliver bong bong? Hey, good morning everybody.
- 26:59Speaker 3: I would like to thank you for traveling with us
- 27:00Speaker 3: this morning, and I hope you have a fantastic day.
- 27:03Speaker 3: And remember the ladies and gentlemen, this life is for
- 27:05Speaker 3: living and enjoying. So as long as you're doing what
- 27:07Speaker 3: you want to do, it's not hurting anybody. You're having fun.
- 27:09Speaker 3: Who cares what anybody else thinks. Thanks for your attention,
- 27:11Speaker 3: and have an absolutely mashing day. Okay, I mean, now, okay,
- 27:17Speaker 3: what you gotta what you gotta put yourselves in the
- 27:19Speaker 3: position for? Is hearing that at like quartery eight in
- 27:22Speaker 3: the morning, That's yeah?
- 27:24Speaker 1: I mean, and again I would I like I like it,
- 27:27Speaker 1: I like it, and I want to have that backstory.
- 27:30Speaker 1: But if not having that backstory and hearing that even genuinely,
- 27:33Speaker 1: even in that charpy tone, I'd go something wrong.
- 27:37Speaker 3: In the in the chirpy tone. Yeah, honestly the first time,
- 27:39Speaker 3: I like, cause like, here's the thing with that man.
- 27:42Speaker 3: In the morning, I would have my headphones in listening
- 27:45Speaker 3: to quality podcasts such as The Tom and Jerry Show. Ah,
- 27:49Speaker 3: I listened to them on repeat because I just fucking
- 27:52Speaker 3: love the sound of my own voice. I skip past
- 27:53Speaker 3: Tom spits. Understand. You hear the announcement and you face
- 27:59Speaker 3: them out because it's normally next up Broombridge, next up,
- 28:02Speaker 3: you know, Docklands, whatever it might be. But then you
- 28:05Speaker 3: notice that, hang on, this annuntioninente has been going on
- 28:07Speaker 3: for a while, and you take your headphones out and
- 28:10Speaker 3: you here's someone midspiel like this, and a little part
- 28:14Speaker 3: of me sounds like it just maybe it's the fatalist
- 28:18Speaker 3: in me just goes, Oh my god, he's he's going
- 28:21Speaker 3: to drive this train into a wall. Yeah, he's taking
- 28:23Speaker 3: us all with him. He's like, ladies and gentlemen, I
- 28:25Speaker 3: just want to say, this isn't your fault. This is
- 28:28Speaker 3: all on me, and I apologize in advance, but this
- 28:30Speaker 3: is just something I have to do. As he speeds
- 28:32Speaker 3: towards the buffers at the Dockland station as fast as
- 28:35Speaker 3: the train will go.
- 28:37Speaker 1: Ladies in general, I had the plans to issue all
- 28:41Speaker 1: a fantastic day, but I can promise you your day is
- 28:44Speaker 1: going to go exactly how my day is going. And
- 28:49Speaker 1: charn fuck you.
- 28:51Speaker 3: I never liked you anyway on occasion, you know, and
- 28:56Speaker 3: he's very cheerful, and he's a nice guy, and I
- 28:59Speaker 3: thank him for doing it, and I will say, by
- 29:01Speaker 3: and large, it never annoys me. Keep it up. But
- 29:05Speaker 3: every now and then he sounds like, you know, he
- 29:08Speaker 3: sounds like the joker. It's like, welcome everybody, Hello, ge
- 29:13Speaker 3: citizens of Gotham, enjoying your ride to work. As you
- 29:16Speaker 3: hear the sound, you might have thought this was just
- 29:18Speaker 3: any other day, But I promise you this is a
- 29:20Speaker 3: day you will never forget.
- 29:23Speaker 1: Yeah, as the clip from a grenade fucking goes flying
- 29:26Speaker 1: down the fucking the corridor, Yeah, honest.
- 29:29Speaker 3: To god, Like on occasion when you just sort of
- 29:31Speaker 3: half catch it and you'll be half asleep in the morning,
- 29:33Speaker 3: you sort of half catch this chirpy voice coming over.
- 29:35Speaker 3: And it's very like, ladies and gentlemen commuters every day
- 29:38Speaker 3: you travel to work, not knowing that there was work
- 29:41Speaker 3: that needed to be done. I am Jigsaw and you
- 29:44Speaker 3: are in my trap. There is a key lodged in
- 29:47Speaker 3: your rectum. Find the key. One passenger here has a
- 29:53Speaker 3: key lodged in his rectum. Find the passenger and unlodge it,
- 29:56Speaker 3: or you will all die.
- 29:58Speaker 1: I don't even try and reach the ca I'm at
- 30:01Speaker 1: home in Castle Knock.
- 30:03Speaker 3: Yes is a recording, So again, I'm terribly sorry, folks.
- 30:07Speaker 3: I'm a very jaded, very cynical, very bitter on occasion,
- 30:13Speaker 3: very sleepy man on the train in the morning. Rarely
- 30:17Speaker 3: do I get a seat frequently? Is it hotter than
- 30:21Speaker 3: it is right now? And my man comes on and
- 30:24Speaker 3: he's doing his best to cheer up a thousand people
- 30:26Speaker 3: on a train going to work, and for nine hundred
- 30:30Speaker 3: and ninety nine of those people he succeeds. Every now
- 30:34Speaker 3: and then, I'm just like buddy, I'm reading the book.
- 30:38Speaker 3: I'm reading the book here.
- 30:39Speaker 1: Yeah, yeah, ton of down. Yeah. It's almost like somebody
- 30:42Speaker 1: tapping on the shoulder continuously to get your attention. When
- 30:45Speaker 1: you know, when you've made it obvious that you don't
- 30:47Speaker 1: want to be disturbed, they're going have a wonderful.
- 30:51Speaker 3: Day for I mean, like some people will be yelling
- 30:55Speaker 3: at that podcast right now and going new cynical Fox.
- 30:57Speaker 3: We need more people like this, We need people like
- 30:59Speaker 3: this everyone. Do you really want this chap? With respect
- 31:03Speaker 3: a lot of time from what do you want them?
- 31:05Speaker 3: Coming over the Tanney and Tasco. Hello shoppers, how are
- 31:08Speaker 3: you all doing well? Listen? I gotta tell you we
- 31:09Speaker 3: have a great special on corn Flex today. And speaking
- 31:11Speaker 3: about corn Flix, you're the corn flake off my eye,
- 31:14Speaker 3: you beautiful being. Why don't you just keep being the
- 31:16Speaker 3: one rock star you know you can.
- 31:18Speaker 1: Be speaking a corn Flix? Have you gotten that that
- 31:22Speaker 1: thrush checked out Thrush cream at half price in the
- 31:26Speaker 1: medical aisle.
- 31:27Speaker 3: I just am here to tell you that any gentleman
- 31:29Speaker 3: over the age of forty five you should probably check
- 31:31Speaker 3: yourself in for a prostate and call on check because
- 31:34Speaker 3: you never know, all that years of eating red meat
- 31:36Speaker 3: now want special could be catching up on you.
- 31:40Speaker 1: Yeah, there actually could be. You know, there could be.
- 31:44Speaker 1: I think maybe for a sitcom or somewhere somebody is like, uh,
- 31:48Speaker 1: fear of colon cancer, get yourself over to the fiber Aslee,
- 31:52Speaker 1: like we have a special on Weita Bix. Like there's
- 31:55Speaker 1: no there's what I I there's when people say if
- 32:00Speaker 1: there's people listen to this on that train right now,
- 32:02Speaker 1: and they're going, oh, yeah, that's you put the too
- 32:05Speaker 1: cynical out folks. There is an element of plorabus to it,
- 32:08Speaker 1: Like you've seen that TV show where everybody is a
- 32:10Speaker 1: hive mind of happiness, everybody's happy. It's it's kind of
- 32:15Speaker 1: creeps me out a little bit where I'm going. I
- 32:18Speaker 1: it's not that I don't it's you know what it
- 32:20Speaker 1: is to jar sometimes when it's I wish, I wish
- 32:24Speaker 1: I wasn't so cynical. But sometimes I hear you know,
- 32:27Speaker 1: you hear blokes and their influencers and stuff like that.
- 32:30Speaker 1: They'll say stuff like guys, we need to be better
- 32:33Speaker 1: to women, Like, yeah, what are you doing to women?
- 32:38Speaker 1: You know there's something weird in me out by that
- 32:40Speaker 1: kind of And I've had this from the opinion from
- 32:42Speaker 1: women gone that creeps me out.
- 32:44Speaker 3: When on occasion, on occasion, what it will be with
- 32:47Speaker 3: me when he comes across the town, I'd be like, dude,
- 32:50Speaker 3: what do you think the relationship we have is right now?
- 32:52Speaker 3: Like we are not an audience for you, We're commuters,
- 32:56Speaker 3: Like we just want to go for me to be
- 32:57Speaker 3: do you know again this is because I'm grumpy and
- 33:00Speaker 3: the morning, and you know what the problem is, I
- 33:02Speaker 3: have quite often a literal pain in my whole, do
- 33:04Speaker 3: you know?
- 33:05Speaker 1: Do you know we can do a whole segment on
- 33:09Speaker 1: the podcast and just a whole but the problem is,
- 33:13Speaker 1: like we've seen the upbeat, you know, perky happy, you know,
- 33:19Speaker 1: chappy flight attendants in America. Yes, hello, welcome to FI Midwell,
- 33:24Speaker 1: it's that whole thing into that. But they have their
- 33:27Speaker 1: spiel fucking down. They're banging it out there, They've got
- 33:31Speaker 1: jokes in the middle. This guy's kind of creeping me
- 33:34Speaker 1: up because it's like I did, these are inspirational quotes.
- 33:37Speaker 1: You you know, you Wikipedia, you know you're on chat
- 33:39Speaker 1: GVT in the morning for inspirational quotes. I get it,
- 33:43Speaker 1: But dude, you've got to come in with this offline.
- 33:47Speaker 1: Don't be just telling me to just not fall over,
- 33:50Speaker 1: don't rush or fall you know, Jesus Christ, Like.
- 33:53Speaker 3: I gotta tell you, you've been talking to me five
- 33:55Speaker 3: minutes about how I should put a pep in my
- 33:57Speaker 3: step and I'm a bright and shining snowflake. A I've
- 34:02Speaker 3: forgotten what the next station is, buddy.
- 34:06Speaker 1: The whole place fucking fumid with him because it's ship talking.
- 34:09Speaker 1: Like I'm not saying it is nice to have good
- 34:13Speaker 1: good customer service can sometimes catch you. But I think
- 34:15Speaker 1: there's a more subtle way of going about it rather
- 34:18Speaker 1: than just blurting out a big, heavy duty Remember guys,
- 34:21Speaker 1: you are you are the love of your you know, yeah.
- 34:26Speaker 3: You know that's it? And what can I say, Tom?
- 34:28Speaker 3: To rescue puppies like myself, even love seems sharp.
- 34:33Speaker 1: So I'm just like, there's a reason why I don't
- 34:36Speaker 1: use public transport here.
- 34:38Speaker 3: Tell you you'd be you'd be crawling along the roof
- 34:41Speaker 3: of this train like speed to sort this out. So
- 34:42Speaker 3: you would. But if you are indeed that lad, and
- 34:45Speaker 3: you are a listener to the Tomenterry Show, we didn't
- 34:48Speaker 3: say a bad thing about you. You know sometimes in
- 34:50Speaker 3: the morning it's.
- 34:52Speaker 1: Maybe okay, maybe that's maybe that's on us, you know
- 34:55Speaker 1: what I mean, Just sorry, dude, but you you keep
- 34:58Speaker 1: doing you but maybe just throwing a couple of.
- 35:00Speaker 3: Maybe we're just mad jealous because you have a thousand
- 35:03Speaker 3: listeners a day.
- 35:05Speaker 1: What if?
- 35:06Speaker 3: What amateur? But there you go, keep it up. I
- 35:11Speaker 3: suppose that's what we want to say, Tom. We are
- 35:13Speaker 3: going to bost On with the final episode.
- 35:17Speaker 1: Finale, seeing you going to wrap this up.
- 35:20Speaker 3: On slip on that one.
- 35:22Speaker 1: No.
- 35:22Speaker 3: The final segment My good Man, where we look back
- 35:25Speaker 3: at ship that we've seen down through the years in
- 35:27Speaker 3: a segment we call we Remember when.
- 35:31Speaker 1: When I was a young lad twenty or thirty or
- 35:34Speaker 1: forty years ago. This peaked. It was almost this guy
- 35:39Speaker 1: almost become became the lad as a result. But then
- 35:42Speaker 1: Jerry in fairness peaked it because this guy's kind of
- 35:47Speaker 1: on running for a long time and his name is
- 35:48Speaker 1: Akira Nikai.
- 35:50Speaker 3: Got you got you got ship showing up on your Instagram,
- 35:52Speaker 3: Tom that lun show open mind.
- 35:54Speaker 1: Yeah, I know. I see this guy a lot. He
- 35:57Speaker 1: pops up a lot and he's people recognize him. He's
- 36:01Speaker 1: kind of wild haired, aloof Japanese. Guy is an out
- 36:07Speaker 1: and out artist, was a drift champion back in the day, right,
- 36:10Speaker 1: but he it's it's hilarious. It's like something out of
- 36:13Speaker 1: events to their movie. How this guy shows up right,
- 36:15Speaker 1: So they've he'll get flown by private jet to like
- 36:19Speaker 1: a hangar in you know Barray, right, and there'll be
- 36:24Speaker 1: so many and he'll show up with no no shoes, on.
- 36:27Speaker 1: You know what I mean nothing. You know, he may
- 36:28Speaker 1: have a bandana or something and he'll have a couple
- 36:31Speaker 1: of lads behind him with all his tools and bits
- 36:34Speaker 1: and bobs, and he would only specialize in classic sports,
- 36:39Speaker 1: uh sports, Porsches. Now he ain't doing your box. So
- 36:42Speaker 1: this this, this is, this is this is.
- 36:43Speaker 3: A guy that works on cars.
- 36:45Speaker 1: He's a car modifier.
- 36:46Speaker 3: This car modifier.
- 36:47Speaker 1: I'm just going to give you the quick rundown on
- 36:49Speaker 1: this guy. He's he's I mean, he's a fucking bluffer.
- 36:53Speaker 1: If you ask me. Do you know these lads you
- 36:55Speaker 1: see their artists and this you know this last you
- 36:57Speaker 1: know what we're going to tell you if he's a
- 36:58Speaker 1: butler with a hurry for twenty minutes and everybody pay
- 37:00Speaker 1: fifty quid to watch this genius at work. Like he
- 37:02Speaker 1: is the he is.
- 37:03Speaker 3: The Salt Bay Yeah modification.
- 37:06Speaker 1: Now you now you nail. He is the Silicon King,
- 37:10Speaker 1: like he's filling your three hundred grand fucking car with
- 37:12Speaker 1: silicon putty filler, like he's putting big and then he
- 37:15Speaker 1: signs it down the bonnot invariably. Here's the mad thing,
- 37:18Speaker 1: and this is the brilliant thing about art. The car
- 37:21Speaker 1: will be worth more because he selected and he just
- 37:24Speaker 1: rocks up. He's smoking on the plane. He just stands back.
- 37:27Speaker 1: He'll stand in the corner on his head doing fucking
- 37:30Speaker 1: handstands with a fagging and his mouth thinking and looking
- 37:32Speaker 1: and seeing them. I seeing the Cara, all the arty
- 37:36Speaker 1: arty moves that you would see Will fer or Ben Stiller.
- 37:39Speaker 3: Do you know in a movie?
- 37:42Speaker 1: You know what I mean? One of these.
- 37:44Speaker 3: But like he's as far as all I can tell
- 37:46Speaker 3: he's doing is like he's filling in the gaps on
- 37:48Speaker 3: a spoiler on a Super Mario.
- 37:49Speaker 1: They're all portions right, and he'll just he'll stand back
- 37:52Speaker 1: with a fucking multitude, like you know, take a chunk
- 37:55Speaker 1: out of a thing, put putting an air vent in
- 37:58Speaker 1: it and just fucking into the air. Some bass has
- 38:00Speaker 1: to catch it, and that's him done. He'd say, he
- 38:02Speaker 1: won't speak to anybody who'd just walk out, flick a
- 38:04Speaker 1: fag in the fucking air and rock star moment, like
- 38:07Speaker 1: you know, flames around him and that's it. Back on
- 38:10Speaker 1: the jet and back to wherever is in Japan, and
- 38:13Speaker 1: fuck knows what you owe him. He's just and.
- 38:15Speaker 3: Chris knows what he's done. So this is this is
- 38:19Speaker 3: a Kraen modifier that again the salt Bay of Karen
- 38:21Speaker 3: modification comes out. Fuck acts around the place does as
- 38:25Speaker 3: far as I can tell, very little work to your
- 38:28Speaker 3: already incredibly expensive McLaren sports car. And then, as Tom says,
- 38:34Speaker 3: stubs the fag out in a way out he goes, yeah,
- 38:37Speaker 3: we were gonna tell him as this lad, but like
- 38:38Speaker 3: that's pretty That's pretty much all we got for him
- 38:40Speaker 3: on what he does. But it did get us talking
- 38:43Speaker 3: about car modification now. I know last week we talked
- 38:46Speaker 3: about the difference between Toyotas in the eighties and toyotas today.
- 38:49Speaker 3: We didn't talk about the actual modifications of those cars.
- 38:53Speaker 3: So it's a nice part too to that because we've
- 38:57Speaker 3: got some lovely comments on that, which we will have
- 38:58Speaker 3: now in a little second. It's a nice part too
- 39:01Speaker 3: to talk about the history of car modifications as we've
- 39:04Speaker 3: seen it down through early years, because it went from
- 39:09Speaker 3: very very little Tom to what we have today. I think, do.
- 39:12Speaker 1: You know what it was? It was definitely a heightened
- 39:16Speaker 1: thing in the nineties and the mid early two thousands.
- 39:18Speaker 1: I don't I don't think lads go to that level anymore.
- 39:23Speaker 1: So it doesn't seem to be as many car modification
- 39:25Speaker 1: shops around the place. Every town had, you know, the
- 39:28Speaker 1: auto car, and it seems to be more I think
- 39:31Speaker 1: the Eastern European thing, and a lot of lads just
- 39:34Speaker 1: want BMW's, you know, and stock things done to them
- 39:39Speaker 1: to make them look.
- 39:40Speaker 3: Well, that's the cars we talked about last week that
- 39:42Speaker 3: we're off the shelf. Okay, here's what Here's how the
- 39:45Speaker 3: windows went down in a stock car, and here's they
- 39:48Speaker 3: used to go down with the wind then then they
- 39:49Speaker 3: went down a button in Karen modification. I'll tell you
- 39:52Speaker 3: what I remember from like maybe a little in the eighties.
- 39:57Speaker 3: I would have been very, very small, and who the
- 39:58Speaker 3: fuck would have been driving a model car in Carrot
- 40:01Speaker 3: Macross in nineteen eighty eight. But what you would have
- 40:05Speaker 3: at best would be maybe some decals, maybe some furry dice,
- 40:11Speaker 3: you know, nice seat covers, and towards the mid nineties,
- 40:16Speaker 3: a CD player in your car that wasn't in it
- 40:19Speaker 3: when you bought it. Now, these are level of modification
- 40:22Speaker 3: we're talking about. In the nineties, you know, they get
- 40:25Speaker 3: like what do you call the visor strip on the
- 40:27Speaker 3: windscreen with Tom on one side and Jerry on the
- 40:30Speaker 3: other do you.
- 40:30Speaker 1: Know he should actually do that? But they went mad
- 40:33Speaker 1: down here. They went mad like the late nineties around here,
- 40:39Speaker 1: soft Jesus. And it's one thing to take a car.
- 40:42Speaker 1: We'll say, let's say you took a golf, yes, and
- 40:46Speaker 1: you took a bog basic golf and you put it,
- 40:48Speaker 1: you put your GTI kit on it and you put
- 40:51Speaker 1: all GDI looking things on it to make it look
- 40:53Speaker 1: like a GGI. But you obviously are eighteen years of age.
- 40:56Speaker 1: You can't afford the insurance for a GGI. You've got
- 40:58Speaker 1: a one point four. It's when you're seeing cars that
- 41:02Speaker 1: have no heritage in sports whatsoever, and you're going, ah,
- 41:08Speaker 1: I didn't know. I'll tell you that was about Berlingo.
- 41:12Speaker 1: There was a Berlingo fucking you know, racing, racing, fucking
- 41:16Speaker 1: team like that was.
- 41:18Speaker 3: That was about the height that the car modifications in
- 41:20Speaker 3: the nineties and character cross was if you put floodlights
- 41:23Speaker 3: on the.
- 41:23Speaker 1: Van, yeah yeah, yeah, yeah, the Hello ones that have
- 41:29Speaker 1: and I mean that's for lamp and rabbits, like, let's
- 41:31Speaker 1: be honest, you know, for lamping Fox there was there
- 41:35Speaker 1: was different things came from, like you got a lot
- 41:38Speaker 1: of lads around here coming back from Germany. There was
- 41:40Speaker 1: a lot of guys went to Germany to work it
- 41:42Speaker 1: came back. But it never interested me when I saw
- 41:46Speaker 1: the lads. No, I never did.
- 41:48Speaker 3: I just all I wanted was it always put me
- 41:51Speaker 3: to the panamic collar to buy a car, let alone
- 41:54Speaker 3: do anything to it.
- 41:55Speaker 1: I just I remember in my at sixty, I think
- 42:01Speaker 1: in the decision was made in my head. I was
- 42:03Speaker 1: driving around town with one of the lads who was
- 42:06Speaker 1: a bit older than us, and he had all the
- 42:08Speaker 1: shite done to the car. Like the car immaculate, but
- 42:12Speaker 1: he had all the shit done to it. He had
- 42:14Speaker 1: a big whale tail spoiler that I do believe. My
- 42:18Speaker 1: younger brother sold him from a car modification shop that
- 42:20Speaker 1: he worked in and it had no business. I even
- 42:23Speaker 1: remember ringing my brother a going what did you do? So?
- 42:26Speaker 1: What is this? I sold it him for five hundred
- 42:28Speaker 1: and ninety euros. So and I get commissioned on that
- 42:31Speaker 1: time so he can take as many start a whale
- 42:35Speaker 1: tail spoiler that came on the Escott cosword, which also
- 42:39Speaker 1: served no purpose at all to aesthetics only like it
- 42:43Speaker 1: just about works in a Formula one car. I can
- 42:45Speaker 1: tell you now it's not too much even on a cosseward.
- 42:47Speaker 1: But anyway, he's old and we were driving around and
- 42:48Speaker 1: it was a moment of clarity. And it was at
- 42:51Speaker 1: twelve o'clock on a Saturday night. We're all eating chips
- 42:53Speaker 1: or whatever, and there was a moment of clarity between
- 42:56Speaker 1: four blokes sitting in the car cruising around on Saturday
- 42:59Speaker 1: night and I'm gone, we're we're all dudes.
- 43:03Speaker 3: Yeah, where's that? Where's the lasties here?
- 43:05Speaker 1: Where's the boats? Like? What are we doing? What? And
- 43:10Speaker 1: I'm like, oh no, And I remember asking the guys
- 43:13Speaker 1: like do girls ever want to get the car? Like?
- 43:16Speaker 1: I know there's four lads of a.
- 43:17Speaker 3: Characters being around with our common interest is the car
- 43:21Speaker 3: we're sitting in.
- 43:22Speaker 1: And I tell you, I'll tell you, I'll tell you.
- 43:23Speaker 3: The modification creep as I experienced the Tom was number one.
- 43:28Speaker 3: Spoilers started coming. You bought a car without a spoiler
- 43:31Speaker 3: and you could put a spoiler on it. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah,
- 43:34Speaker 3: this seems basic. This is what we witnessed in our
- 43:37Speaker 3: lifetime in Ireland. Following the spoilers came the body kit.
- 43:45Speaker 3: You got a body kit for it and you could
- 43:47Speaker 3: put the trim on the side, and again this is
- 43:49Speaker 3: where your man would come in and silicon and do
- 43:50Speaker 3: the job nicely. Up in character was a lot of
- 43:53Speaker 3: poorly put on body kits because I.
- 43:56Speaker 1: Saw I remember one time saying, I was fucking it was.
- 44:01Speaker 1: It was, you know the black we haven't had the
- 44:04Speaker 1: house here that black have Gothuran.
- 44:06Speaker 3: Yeah, yeah, yeah, he actually had that on the side
- 44:08Speaker 3: of that did, surely.
- 44:09Speaker 1: He did, and you knew it was. But he did
- 44:11Speaker 1: blend it out with like you know, car talking, you know, the.
- 44:14Speaker 3: Whatever you call it, which is what this other fuck
- 44:16Speaker 3: the Rangers be doing. Yeah, yeah, yeah, And here was
- 44:19Speaker 3: the other one that this was that was car modification
- 44:23Speaker 3: for young lads that wanted the car to look like
- 44:25Speaker 3: a Transformer, you know, you know, grown ass men didn't
- 44:28Speaker 3: do that. But Ally wheels got everybody when Alli wheels.
- 44:32Speaker 3: These days, ally wheels will probably become a standard. Not
- 44:36Speaker 3: back in the mid nineties, it was a very very
- 44:38Speaker 3: specific thing to buy and put on your car, and
- 44:42Speaker 3: even older people even dazz like the Pair of Allies.
- 44:46Speaker 1: Yeah they did, yeah they did, and they were like.
- 44:49Speaker 3: We're of an age where these things got they were
- 44:51Speaker 3: so precious. They got robbed. The old you know, The
- 44:54Speaker 3: old joke is like, don't park in that don't park
- 44:56Speaker 3: in that estate, don't park in that neighborhood. When you
- 44:58Speaker 3: come back, your car will be up breaks. Do people
- 45:00Speaker 3: even leave cars up on bricks anymore? Who's stealing fucking
- 45:03Speaker 3: allies these days?
- 45:04Speaker 1: I can't imagine anybody is like I mean, like the
- 45:07Speaker 1: the I guess the break the breaking market or if
- 45:11Speaker 1: you have you know, a very rare causework.
- 45:13Speaker 3: And very very rare pokemon alloyes.
- 45:16Speaker 1: Yeah, I can only imagine that it would be come
- 45:19Speaker 1: down to you like they or you know, the little
- 45:21Speaker 1: ones under under those those twin cams, you know the
- 45:24Speaker 1: toilet twin camp, like those little ones there.
- 45:27Speaker 3: Big exhaust that was another thing that was big, big.
- 45:29Speaker 1: Exhausting there was. It was awful. Sometimes you see some
- 45:32Speaker 1: lads and you go, okay, you've gone for the full
- 45:34Speaker 1: change of the exhaust. But again it'd be something like
- 45:37Speaker 1: on at one point three Corolla, what is the point
- 45:40Speaker 1: of this? But at least they went that far to
- 45:42Speaker 1: bring a full exhaust system on through it. Yeah, which
- 45:45Speaker 1: may or may not give a horse power to more
- 45:48Speaker 1: performance sound for sure. But it was the lads that
- 45:50Speaker 1: you just see like chrome tips put on you know,
- 45:53Speaker 1: the little pipe on the end of their inch fucking
- 45:56Speaker 1: exhaust stuck on the end of it.
- 45:58Speaker 3: Like I hear, what are we doing here, lads?
- 46:01Speaker 1: Yet, like I have admiration for lads that would get
- 46:05Speaker 1: to the silly place because you know, you could buy
- 46:07Speaker 1: the mud flaps with back off and all.
- 46:10Speaker 3: This ship, yeah, the dragon mud flaps.
- 46:11Speaker 1: And but I did often I would kind of give
- 46:14Speaker 1: a tip of the cap because there's lads that would go,
- 46:16Speaker 1: like lads put fucking like you know, mirror balls in
- 46:19Speaker 1: their car, you know, in in with the central light
- 46:22Speaker 1: like you know stuff. But there was I remember seeing
- 46:25Speaker 1: that they would have like you know, grotesque sair of
- 46:29Speaker 1: pair of fucking you know, chrome balls hanging off a ball. Okay,
- 46:34Speaker 1: do you know what. There's a bit of humor and
- 46:35Speaker 1: that like fair enough, But you're getting lads then they're
- 46:38Speaker 1: taking their you know, their their their Fiesta and they're
- 46:41Speaker 1: getting the engine remapped up to one hundred and nine
- 46:44Speaker 1: horse power. Like, dude, that just costs you a fucking
- 46:47Speaker 1: six months. Way, just what are you doing? You know,
- 46:51Speaker 1: I'll tell you.
- 46:52Speaker 3: I'll tell you one big thing we experienced in our lifetime.
- 46:55Speaker 3: That and again I was never a modified car enthusiast,
- 46:58Speaker 3: which I believe is the yeah third term that they like.
- 47:03Speaker 3: There have been several other terms yell across town, but
- 47:06Speaker 3: we'll go with modified karentthusiasts. There was one big moment
- 47:10Speaker 3: for modified car enthusiasts that that I feel really kind
- 47:15Speaker 3: of was it was a turning point for it. And
- 47:16Speaker 3: it was in two thousand and one when al Qaeda
- 47:20Speaker 3: attacked the Two Towers.
- 47:22Speaker 1: And Jesus Christ there okay, oh.
- 47:25Speaker 3: Wait, no shit, no, no, it was in two thousand
- 47:27Speaker 3: and one when The Fast and the Furious was released.
- 47:31Speaker 1: Oh my god, leads when and you're looking at as
- 47:35Speaker 1: Leeds driving like German you know, German based sports cars
- 47:41Speaker 1: and they've got like a Japanese dragging up the side
- 47:43Speaker 1: of You're like.
- 47:45Speaker 3: It really was you know, nine to eleven for modified arenthusiasts,
- 47:50Speaker 3: but good like it was really a big moment in
- 47:52Speaker 3: their lives because the cars, and I knew lads that
- 47:55Speaker 3: would never set foot inside the cinema in their life
- 47:58Speaker 3: went to see Fast and the Furious to see the
- 48:01Speaker 3: actors or anything like that. It wasn't like, oh well
- 48:04Speaker 3: at Starns so and so I have to see it.
- 48:05Speaker 3: They were going to see it because there was a
- 48:07Speaker 3: Tyota super in it to be fair right in this
- 48:11Speaker 3: and sky like like actual cars that I could theoretically own.
- 48:14Speaker 1: I genuinely think I genuinely think that that that movie,
- 48:18Speaker 1: or that series of movies, that's first couple anywa where
- 48:20Speaker 1: they were Japanese based.
- 48:22Speaker 3: I was actually driving cars on the street and not
- 48:25Speaker 3: parachuting onto a volcano or whatever the fuck it became.
- 48:28Speaker 1: Yeah, I I genuinely think that that that that couple
- 48:31Speaker 1: of movies has solidified the the classic Japanese sports car
- 48:37Speaker 1: market in Ireland still, like like you can't get a
- 48:40Speaker 1: Superfer and loved them, and you can't get a you
- 48:42Speaker 1: know three hundred, three hundreds X or whatever it is,
- 48:44Speaker 1: you can't get you know, fuck you can't get them,
- 48:48Speaker 1: Like do you know get you get these one hundred
- 48:50Speaker 1: preludes SDI Because the brother in law has one behind
- 48:53Speaker 1: in the garage that he has like he is a
- 48:55Speaker 1: car enthusiast still and he built his from the ground
- 48:58Speaker 1: up with all the raco seats, Like the thing is
- 49:01Speaker 1: ready for the track, but it will sit in the
- 49:03Speaker 1: garage and wakeforgure is gathering money.
- 49:07Speaker 3: As it sits there. Well, you know, like a fine wine.
- 49:10Speaker 1: It really is, and you kind of I was gonna,
- 49:13Speaker 1: what are you doing? But the ones I just want
- 49:16Speaker 1: to talk about the mods that made me laugh, like
- 49:18Speaker 1: and again you're going ahead, we.
- 49:20Speaker 3: Have we have another big we have another big moment
- 49:23Speaker 3: for kar enthusiasts coming up though, go ahead.
- 49:25Speaker 1: Time neon lights underneath the neon lights.
- 49:30Speaker 3: That I feel that was a real fast and furious
- 49:32Speaker 3: time was Yeah, green lights underneath.
- 49:36Speaker 1: It and good if you're driving the streets of l
- 49:38Speaker 1: A or the streets of of you know, Tokyo whatever like,
- 49:42Speaker 1: But if you're driving the streets of Tip Town, you
- 49:47Speaker 1: know where the county council might or might not have,
- 49:51Speaker 1: you know, told you about a fucking speed ramp that
- 49:53Speaker 1: they just put in.
- 49:53Speaker 3: Yeah, and you lose it across the bottom of it.
- 49:55Speaker 1: You lose it across the bottom of it. But there
- 49:58Speaker 1: were Like for me, I I took more enjoyment from listen.
- 50:04Speaker 1: It's I don't see it. It's been an unhealthy obsession
- 50:07Speaker 1: at all. No, And you know what, if lads are
- 50:10Speaker 1: going to go at it, they're going to go at it,
- 50:11Speaker 1: and it's better than fucking putting it up their nose
- 50:13Speaker 1: or whatever. Like fair folks. You know, mind it, keep
- 50:17Speaker 1: between the digits, don't drive it like a cant. But
- 50:20Speaker 1: it's when I saw that the likes of the lights
- 50:23Speaker 1: underneath their lads, the real culture, like the big thing
- 50:26Speaker 1: now with culture lads in car modification. And I saw
- 50:29Speaker 1: I was down at the Rally the Lakes. I was.
- 50:32Speaker 1: I was doing a gig in the Glen Eagle a
- 50:34Speaker 1: couple of years ago and it was during the fucking
- 50:36Speaker 1: Rally the Lakes. It took me an hour and a
- 50:38Speaker 1: half to get to get there. And you see the
- 50:41Speaker 1: amount of these lads would like Volkswagen Borers or Prosetts
- 50:44Speaker 1: they've got and you know they haven't put a lowering
- 50:46Speaker 1: kit on it. They've just cut the fucking coil springs.
- 50:50Speaker 3: The thing, it almos amazes me. When I saw a
- 50:52Speaker 3: sticker on the back of a car, a modified carr
- 50:55Speaker 3: and was like, be patient, I'm lowered, and it was
- 50:58Speaker 3: because he has to tip too over, but little prayer
- 51:02Speaker 3: at the back, please be patient with me. I've got
- 51:04Speaker 3: a lower suspension. I can't possibly take a hump.
- 51:07Speaker 1: The big thing with these lesson I was putting big
- 51:09Speaker 1: fucking ext chimneys on them. In the diesel ones and
- 51:12Speaker 1: leaving the rest of the car clean, but leaving all
- 51:14Speaker 1: at the back of it black. I did see one
- 51:18Speaker 1: that particular night, and I thought on on a meme
- 51:20Speaker 1: on Instagram, but this was for real, and I had
- 51:24Speaker 1: a picture. It had this exhausts in all fernst and
- 51:26Speaker 1: they were pretty well done. They were coming up the
- 51:28Speaker 1: side and underneath the skirts too, exhausts and I it
- 51:34Speaker 1: had gretted Tonburg over the exhaust, huge black plumes just
- 51:39Speaker 1: coming out of her nose. I got it. The ingenuity
- 51:43Speaker 1: involved in getting.
- 51:44Speaker 3: That they could only use this powerful good Tom.
- 51:47Speaker 1: Do you know if that fucking made me happy? It
- 51:50Speaker 1: was funny in the moment, like you know, but it was.
- 51:53Speaker 1: It was put you're right, Fast and the Furious was
- 51:55Speaker 1: the rocky for you.
- 51:57Speaker 3: I'll tell you If Fast and Furious was the rocky,
- 52:00Speaker 3: then Pimp My Ride was the raw four fuck me
- 52:04Speaker 3: just madness upon madness. Uh, you know, everything just dialed
- 52:11Speaker 3: the fuck up to eleven ah, And I don't know
- 52:16Speaker 3: that much if any of it stuck. I think this
- 52:18Speaker 3: was like car modification, taking the piss out of itself.
- 52:22Speaker 1: It is by eat work, you know, this was you know,
- 52:26Speaker 1: talk about it devouring yourself like this exactly. This ended
- 52:29Speaker 1: the popularity and the relative coolness of car modification. They
- 52:33Speaker 1: made it cheesy and shit because they were just trying
- 52:38Speaker 1: to make more TV and to a point where even
- 52:40Speaker 1: exhibits was like what what is Look, we put a
- 52:44Speaker 1: TV inside a fish tank inside your for Granada. Isn't
- 52:48Speaker 1: the class? What? This doesn't make any sense?
- 52:50Speaker 3: I remember one that one pimp my ride. He had
- 52:53Speaker 3: just casually mentioned that he liked playing poker with his pals,
- 52:56Speaker 3: you know, just poker with the lads, and they had
- 52:59Speaker 3: a card shuffler that would spit poker cards out the exhaust, Like, well,
- 53:04Speaker 3: you can be dealing cards like a black jack shoot
- 53:07Speaker 3: a back black jack shoe, just like spitting out cards
- 53:10Speaker 3: at the back of the exhaust.
- 53:12Speaker 1: To what end?
- 53:13Speaker 3: What are we doing here?
- 53:14Speaker 1: There was there seemed to be no engine modification like
- 53:17Speaker 1: and I always had the tip of the cap like.
- 53:19Speaker 1: I remember meeting a guy one time and he'd a
- 53:21Speaker 1: he was an older chair. I couldn't believe I knew
- 53:23Speaker 1: his son. He's an actor and a bit of a softy,
- 53:26Speaker 1: you know, you definitely couldn't see a ratchet in his hand.
- 53:28Speaker 1: But met his dad one day. His dad had a.
- 53:31Speaker 1: He had a mark one grenade right, and it looked
- 53:35Speaker 1: like a piece of shit, like it was beating up
- 53:37Speaker 1: rust nothing done to it. But when you look closely,
- 53:40Speaker 1: you're like, that thing is sitting a bit low. And
- 53:42Speaker 1: you look underneath absolute rat rod. The thing was complete
- 53:46Speaker 1: rest them out underneath, full struts, full like everything and
- 53:50Speaker 1: either five point five or Mustang engine hiding it and
- 53:54Speaker 1: you're going, okay, coolest fun because to look at this thing,
- 53:57Speaker 1: it looks like, you know, if plants were grown out
- 54:00Speaker 1: of the boot of it, wouldn't it'll be fine. But
- 54:02Speaker 1: it was immaculate underneath the shell. I kind of love that,
- 54:06Speaker 1: you know, this this sleeper, the sleeper effect that he had,
- 54:10Speaker 1: but it was the so any engine, you know, any
- 54:14Speaker 1: engine modification, I'd always have a tip of the cap
- 54:16Speaker 1: for that. I'm like, okay, there's more about you.
- 54:19Speaker 3: You know what you're doing here.
- 54:20Speaker 1: But when you start seeing you know.
- 54:23Speaker 3: God bless them hamp on dispensers.
- 54:25Speaker 1: Yeah, and you know there's bubbles out the exhaust. Now,
- 54:30Speaker 1: well that's great because I like bubbles when I was four.
- 54:33Speaker 1: Thanks very much for that. Does it go any faster? Well, no, Actually,
- 54:37Speaker 1: you can't drive too quickly. Because all the filler that
- 54:40Speaker 1: we put in will just crack and fall off, and
- 54:42Speaker 1: it now weighs a ton and a half. Have you
- 54:43Speaker 1: and you'll never ever get it through a test.
- 54:46Speaker 3: And does this and you're you've out of my car
- 54:48Speaker 3: and you're giving it to me now with a year's insurance.
- 54:50Speaker 3: Of course you're not. Okay, well, okay, well this is
- 54:53Speaker 3: going to be robbed promptly.
- 54:54Speaker 1: Or when I do go to insure it and they go,
- 54:56Speaker 1: have you made any modifications, you're well, doesn't gain he
- 55:00Speaker 1: be pig farm qualify as that because.
- 55:04Speaker 3: In the back of it, I don't think that it's
- 55:07Speaker 3: got nine televisions.
- 55:08Speaker 1: Yeah, it's got nine did you say nine television Yeah,
- 55:12Speaker 1: nine televisions, a fish tank and.
- 55:16Speaker 3: Bullet.
- 55:17Speaker 1: Only one of the carri doors works and that's on
- 55:19Speaker 1: the roof now, yes, indeed, but it was. Yeah, they've
- 55:23Speaker 1: ruined it. I think they ruined car modification.
- 55:26Speaker 3: I think it was beyond parody at this stage. So like,
- 55:28Speaker 3: you know, it's it's, it's it's it's a hard one
- 55:31Speaker 3: to come back from. When people are like, oh, yeah,
- 55:33Speaker 3: look at pimp my ride over here is like, well, yeah, okay,
- 55:36Speaker 3: I suppose you have me there all right, we did
- 55:38Speaker 3: we we didn't touch on it.
- 55:40Speaker 1: I can't get away from it. But because there was
- 55:43Speaker 1: magazines like Max Power and stuff. Yeah, I knew a guy.
- 55:47Speaker 1: He he became quite I won't sayhim famous, but he
- 55:51Speaker 1: was hugely admired in Cork because he managed to get
- 55:56Speaker 1: his wait near this, his punto into X power because
- 56:01Speaker 1: of what he did to it. He he had one
- 56:05Speaker 1: money with the lotto or something like, not not the
- 56:08Speaker 1: life changing, but he won like let's say, fifty thousand
- 56:13Speaker 1: on the lotter, right and plugged it all into this fucking.
- 56:16Speaker 3: Thing, fifty thousands of the amount of money that I
- 56:18Speaker 3: would take to never be heard of again, by the.
- 56:20Speaker 1: Way, you know, like this is what, this is what.
- 56:22Speaker 1: And he like the thing too to give him his due.
- 56:26Speaker 1: It was perfect if you like that sort of thing.
- 56:30Speaker 3: The silky chapel of Ponto's.
- 56:32Speaker 1: There was nothing like there was nothing to left, nothing
- 56:37Speaker 1: left on MODI fight and that was him made for life,
- 56:41Speaker 1: sold us for a tenth of what he put into it. Yes,
- 56:44Speaker 1: but they were I mean the classic cars that seem
- 56:47Speaker 1: to be all kind of hot hatches, like the two
- 56:49Speaker 1: of five GTI you remember is they were everywhere, but
- 56:52Speaker 1: they were fucking brilliant. The one was six gtis. There
- 56:55Speaker 1: was novas you know, you you know st S scards
- 56:59Speaker 1: every like a lot more than today. You have the
- 57:04Speaker 1: Focus st and you've obviously the GTI gos. But almost
- 57:08Speaker 1: every car like you were getting to tell you to
- 57:10Speaker 1: start at glens End, you remember those they were these
- 57:12Speaker 1: fucking months and they all put these dump foul things
- 57:15Speaker 1: into any car of horrible yeah, and it sounds, yeah,
- 57:18Speaker 1: it sounds like the car sneezing. But there's almost I
- 57:24Speaker 1: would say, wagers, there's very few cars car crowds now
- 57:28Speaker 1: folks and the you know their lower range smaller hot
- 57:31Speaker 1: hatches too yumphulous these days, you know, like putting them
- 57:36Speaker 1: they look like for outrues nowadays. Back in the day,
- 57:40Speaker 1: you know, they'd have an ST sticker on them, were
- 57:43Speaker 1: and they'd have a bit extra maybe in the way
- 57:46Speaker 1: of style. But they don't seem to do that anymore.
- 57:49Speaker 1: I don't know why. But game's gone, tam the big
- 57:51Speaker 1: thing that I think that any lad started with. And
- 57:54Speaker 1: there'll be people shouting and say if we don't mention it,
- 57:56Speaker 1: if you start anywhere before you have the price of
- 57:59Speaker 1: the alloyes of you the pai this you had to
- 58:01Speaker 1: put sars in. You had to. So this is it.
- 58:04Speaker 3: This is the one thing you could get. We mentioned
- 58:06Speaker 3: the last week that car stereos was a whole industry
- 58:09Speaker 3: into itself, Like that's you you had.
- 58:11Speaker 1: To Oh yeah, you could get. He made the box,
- 58:15Speaker 1: the carpeted box for like the subs or MDF enclosures
- 58:19Speaker 1: that you know, they make him out of MDF and
- 58:21Speaker 1: carpet and he'd fill it with speakers and a suboard
- 58:24Speaker 1: fron He put in a like a six stick changeable
- 58:28Speaker 1: CD thing and he would wire a stock beside.
- 58:31Speaker 3: Your your I had one in a fucking Fiat Ponto
- 58:34Speaker 3: that I that I drove did yeah it was on
- 58:37Speaker 3: it uh And it was the first carrier I ever bought.
- 58:39Speaker 3: I just figured, well, I get that's handy. That's in
- 58:42Speaker 3: every car now is it? Ever had a car again?
- 58:43Speaker 3: A ten changer in the back. And when it come
- 58:48Speaker 3: time to sell that carrier man bought it, like you know,
- 58:50Speaker 3: and that thing was you know, I had not driven
- 58:54Speaker 3: it gently the first carrier ever bought. And I asked
- 58:56Speaker 3: him for I think it was like eight on the
- 58:58Speaker 3: the Europe was like yeah, absolutely, Like you don't like it?
- 59:00Speaker 3: Was eight hundred bucks and started candle out of his
- 59:02Speaker 3: hand because he's seen the fucking CD changer in the
- 59:03Speaker 3: back when that was five years straight away.
- 59:05Speaker 1: And you know what you're and I'm going to say
- 59:07Speaker 1: something you. I was in Wexford a couple of a
- 59:08Speaker 1: couple of months ago to do a gig and I
- 59:10Speaker 1: think I might have mentioned it on the podcast I like,
- 59:14Speaker 1: and I'm now sure of it because people have contacted
- 59:17Speaker 1: me since that. Everything has gone full circle again. And
- 59:21Speaker 1: I wonder because now kids are wearing raver jeans. There's
- 59:25Speaker 1: gone on the day of skinny jeans. It's gone. Like
- 59:27Speaker 1: girls especially they're wearing shit like they're off to a
- 59:30Speaker 1: rave in nineteen ninety eight.
- 59:31Speaker 3: They're driving unmodified car.
- 59:33Speaker 1: No, but they they're they're dressing like they're wearing raver gear. Yeah,
- 59:37Speaker 1: like the shame and are now backing back on tour
- 59:40Speaker 1: is now you know they're it's a go in the places.
- 59:43Speaker 1: Been a really funny fights and guys remember like that
- 59:46Speaker 1: guy's back out again, like the Prodigy never turned. But
- 59:48Speaker 1: in Wexford that day I saw like four girls that
- 59:51Speaker 1: were they were dressed like they were going to a
- 59:54Speaker 1: Spice Girls concerts. You know what I mean, And in
- 59:57Speaker 1: that moment, like noineteen or two thousand and two, punto
- 1:00:02Speaker 1: went past me. When the fuck did I last see
- 1:00:05Speaker 1: one of them that shape, you know, the one that
- 1:00:07Speaker 1: shape like a boot, you know it shaped like somebody's
- 1:00:10Speaker 1: fucking ski boot, And I'm like, what the fuck this?
- 1:00:14Speaker 1: So I'm wondering, Jerry Will Will we have to revisit
- 1:00:17Speaker 1: this podcast with a weekly what have you with karmods
- 1:00:21Speaker 1: that are now making a comeback on as a result
- 1:00:25Speaker 1: of the Tom and Jerry Show talking about it.
- 1:00:27Speaker 3: Let's find out, Tom, let's find out and I'll tell
- 1:00:30Speaker 3: you where you'll find out about it. First, ladies and gentlemen,
- 1:00:32Speaker 3: is in the social media channels because we've done date
- 1:00:34Speaker 3: it again. Man, I said, we're gonna be off this
- 1:00:36Speaker 3: thing in thirty five minutes. We've been on here for
- 1:00:38Speaker 3: about an hour and I am, ah gooey. Let's just say,
- 1:00:44Speaker 3: might not smell great. We can follow us on social
- 1:00:48Speaker 3: media at Tom and Jerry, Tom with a T, Jerry
- 1:00:51Speaker 3: with a G. You'll find us on Instagram sticking Tom
- 1:00:54Speaker 3: and Jerry on Instagram. We look like we sound, We're
- 1:00:58Speaker 3: not hard. Found me over on Blue Sky at Jerry
- 1:01:01Speaker 3: McBride him good self is on Instagram at Tom o'manony
- 1:01:05Speaker 3: e in that o'many over on Instagram. We had some
- 1:01:08Speaker 3: people chime in while we're talking about cars. If you
- 1:01:11Speaker 3: don't like cars, sorry about the last half hour of
- 1:01:14Speaker 3: this episode and last week as well. We won't talk
- 1:01:16Speaker 3: about a single car next week. No, but we had
- 1:01:18Speaker 3: people chime in, including me. Hall there chimes in about
- 1:01:22Speaker 3: the Koreina two. He said, can't beat the Kreina two. Tom,
- 1:01:26Speaker 3: he had one back in the day or his family
- 1:01:28Speaker 3: had one back in the day that did nearly three
- 1:01:30Speaker 3: hundred and seventy five thousand miles.
- 1:01:34Speaker 1: And that's the two with like, that's like Roman numerus
- 1:01:37Speaker 1: two of them. Correctly. The Kareena e came out after that,
- 1:01:39Speaker 1: I think, yeah, did.
- 1:01:41Speaker 3: Three hundred and seventy five thousand miles. And then the
- 1:01:44Speaker 3: NCT came in and the tug of an NCT and
- 1:01:46Speaker 3: the NCT was like, I newd.
- 1:01:53Speaker 1: Just shook their hand at the door. Leave it here.
- 1:01:56Speaker 3: I think you knew this day was coming. What else
- 1:02:00Speaker 3: have we got? We have Donald? Yes, indeed, Donald says
- 1:02:02Speaker 3: he has an eighty eight redge. Again, everybody loves the
- 1:02:05Speaker 3: Korea I'm sorry eighty eight Redge the cards calling to
- 1:02:09Speaker 3: the door about it because he was driving it at
- 1:02:12Speaker 3: sixteen when you're only supposed to be driving your tractors
- 1:02:14Speaker 3: were Again this is this is not yesterday, this is
- 1:02:16Speaker 3: the nineties. But still in all he was put off
- 1:02:18Speaker 3: the road by the guards, and his man had to
- 1:02:20Speaker 3: drive him to work, and his mom was mad and him.
- 1:02:25Speaker 1: Forgetting caught driving when he was sixteen.
- 1:02:27Speaker 3: This is it necessarily, not necessarily for driving, but for
- 1:02:31Speaker 3: getting put off the road. And Cormack as well chimes in,
- 1:02:34Speaker 3: he had in this answers only and listen the blueboard
- 1:02:37Speaker 3: and his mad and I would have liked to see
- 1:02:39Speaker 3: this card. Tom had a you go, which I never
- 1:02:42Speaker 3: had a pleasure of. And I've never sat in the
- 1:02:43Speaker 3: ladder either. Oh, back in the day, folks in the nineties,
- 1:02:50Speaker 3: ladder cars were the joker.
- 1:02:54Speaker 1: They were. And I knew a guy up the road
- 1:02:55Speaker 1: that used to buying brand new. I think I told
- 1:02:58Speaker 1: him before he used to buying brand.
- 1:02:59Speaker 3: New, like the one ladder joke that I remember. This
- 1:03:02Speaker 3: is goddamn. I'm pulling this from thirty years ago, Tom
- 1:03:05Speaker 3: more forty years ago. Ah, why do ladies have heated
- 1:03:09Speaker 3: rear windows.
- 1:03:10Speaker 1: Keep your hands warm when you're pushing it.
- 1:03:12Speaker 3: Keep your hands warm when you're pushing them.
- 1:03:13Speaker 2: There you go.
- 1:03:14Speaker 3: What else do we want these fine folks to do?
- 1:03:15Speaker 1: Tom lead a comment if you are going to leave
- 1:03:18Speaker 1: it there, or if you find it, yeah, we'll read
- 1:03:19Speaker 1: it out. Just find Go ahead and on Spotify because
- 1:03:22Speaker 1: you've probably hit subscribe if you haven't hit subscribe as
- 1:03:24Speaker 1: well as the belts so it pops into your phone.
- 1:03:26Speaker 1: You're giving us an absolute I'm blushing with how how
- 1:03:29Speaker 1: good the ratings are where. We're still rocking a five
- 1:03:31Speaker 1: star tanks to tea, So right now go rate. If
- 1:03:34Speaker 1: you're han't rated, please do give it a rating. It
- 1:03:36Speaker 1: just makes it more visible to everybody else. Other than that,
- 1:03:39Speaker 1: just comment, comment, and share as much as you possibly can.
- 1:03:43Speaker 1: That'd be great.
- 1:03:45Speaker 3: Any if any of your pals are going on holidays
- 1:03:47Speaker 3: and they're like.
- 1:03:47Speaker 1: Oh shit, I got no podcast.
- 1:03:49Speaker 3: Now you're talking on the plane, I know, why will
- 1:03:51Speaker 3: I listen to? I've listened to every other podcast, Go
- 1:03:53Speaker 3: and what I listen to? Just turn around on hey,
- 1:03:55Speaker 3: you know what? Throw in a couple of top episodes
- 1:03:57Speaker 3: of The Tom and Jerry Show.
- 1:03:58Speaker 1: Oh but by the way, er I've been talking about
- 1:04:01Speaker 1: this podcast on stages for the last couple of weeks
- 1:04:04Speaker 1: because I'm building a new bit right and I will
- 1:04:07Speaker 1: talked because I just want to promote the podcasts. I
- 1:04:09Speaker 1: don't need to go where the inspiration for the bit
- 1:04:12Speaker 1: came from. But I stum found myself stumbling into school
- 1:04:18Speaker 1: tours and another another woman, God, she got brought to
- 1:04:21Speaker 1: the joy as well as a school tour and she
- 1:04:23Speaker 1: went to school and kill Dare.
- 1:04:26Speaker 3: Yeah it's a whole big thing, baby, yeah yeah, yeah,
- 1:04:31Speaker 3: so yeah.
- 1:04:32Speaker 1: And also the bad situation and the comic and with me.
- 1:04:37Speaker 1: He was a gigging with me at the weekend. He
- 1:04:39Speaker 1: I didn't realize he was such a bad tow enthusiast.
- 1:04:41Speaker 1: Driving back from the gig he listened to the podcast.
- 1:04:43Speaker 1: He went, fuck, I have a bad guy that will
- 1:04:45Speaker 1: literally draw in that for you. Tom. So we have
- 1:04:48Speaker 1: the bad situation in hand for the Midge's very very
- 1:04:52Speaker 1: enthusiastic about that situation.
- 1:04:54Speaker 3: You love to see it. Keep an eye as well.
- 1:04:56Speaker 3: I've got a gig coming up in Dublin in the
- 1:04:59Speaker 3: Core area coming up. I'll shut it out. It is Crackademia,
- 1:05:03Speaker 3: which takes place in Rascal's brewing. Oh yeah, So I'm
- 1:05:08Speaker 3: up next month on the fifteenth of July. Fifteenth of
- 1:05:13Speaker 3: July in Crackademia. I have a wonderful topic to talk about.
- 1:05:15Speaker 3: It's half comedy, half ted talk all crack Crackademia. Keep
- 1:05:20Speaker 3: an eye on the social media channels. I will be
- 1:05:22Speaker 3: pimping that like.
- 1:05:23Speaker 1: Exhibit used to pimp.
- 1:05:25Speaker 3: You're right, Tom.
- 1:05:26Speaker 1: Nice, I'm yeah this weekend and I think I'm it's
- 1:05:30Speaker 1: going to be pretty sexy. I think there's about seven
- 1:05:33Speaker 1: Where is that again, sorry time, mister, I mean Kenny
- 1:05:35Speaker 1: this weekend, Kenny Kenny Show Tour, showing to Kenny this weekend,
- 1:05:39Speaker 1: and yeah, and then we go over to the I'm
- 1:05:41Speaker 1: going to be talking at the wellness veest. So I'm
- 1:05:43Speaker 1: going to talk for fifteen minutes story about how I'm
- 1:05:45Speaker 1: just probably pretty much just going to quote everything for
- 1:05:47Speaker 1: our podcast. How stand up comedy is good for your health.
- 1:05:50Speaker 1: I guess it is more than anything. I'm just standing aside,
- 1:05:53Speaker 1: I'm filling the air while then my wife comes on
- 1:05:56Speaker 1: stage and gets her hair chopped down.
- 1:05:57Speaker 3: You know, I'm go Tellia, I don't want to go
- 1:05:58Speaker 3: back to a bit, Tom, But like man on the Train,
- 1:06:00Speaker 3: like he's he's spreading joy among people, among an audience.
- 1:06:05Speaker 3: And I gotta be honest with you, that's our job.
- 1:06:08Speaker 1: Yeah, and we do it to get paid.
- 1:06:11Speaker 3: We can't have you given it away for free. I reckon,
- 1:06:13Speaker 3: we go fucking smack this fell in them out with
- 1:06:15Speaker 3: a sock full of coins, Like fuck that.
- 1:06:17Speaker 1: Guy is true muscling in on our territory.
- 1:06:20Speaker 3: Fuck that guy, And have you given it away when
- 1:06:22Speaker 3: we're trying to sell it?
- 1:06:22Speaker 1: Buddy Jesus Christ, Rice, just say go on till him.
- 1:06:26Speaker 3: Take care, body, get a lick