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The Hidden Messages in Your Emotions That Control Your Reality (30) · The One Person Podcast

• 0:00
  Speaker 1: Welcome to the One Person Podcast, where transformation begins with the self.
• 0:04
  Speaker 1: Today, we're diving into a profound and often misunderstood topic emotions.
• 0:10
  Speaker 1: I mean, have you ever felt completely ruled by your feelings, or found yourself stuck in patterns dictated by fear, anger or even despair?
• 0:19
  Speaker 1: Well, you're not alone, because I was once there too, but through my journey, I discovered the truth about emotions that not only changed my life, but also helped me to help others experience similar breakthroughs.
• 0:32
  Speaker 1: In this episode, we'll explore why your emotions are not as real as they seem, the true purpose of emotions, as well as give you practical steps to harness the power of your feelings for transformation.
• 0:44
  Speaker 1: Grab a cuppa, settle in and let's get started.
• 0:49
  Speaker 1: If there was a guarantee that you could create your dream life, a life that truly mattered to you, would you want it?
• 0:57
  Speaker 1: My name is Terri-Ann Palmer-Peacock and I am delighted to welcome you to the One Person Podcast.
• 1:03
  Speaker 1: I have a belief that one person can make a difference in the world.
• 1:07
  Speaker 1: When we show up as the best version of ourselves, when we create and live our dream lives, we make a positive impact on ourselves and the world around us.
• 1:16
  Speaker 1: So if simple, actionable, step-by-step strategies, tools and tips on how to do that inspires you, then you are in the right place, my friend.
• 1:27
  Speaker 1: So let's get started.
• 1:32
  Speaker 1: You know, I used to think I was pretty good with my emotions.
• 1:35
  Speaker 1: The term they use nowadays is someone who is emotionally intelligent.
• 1:39
  Speaker 1: If I felt excited about a business opportunity, it meant it was great.
• 1:44
  Speaker 1: If I felt anxious about a decision, it meant it was risky.
• 1:47
  Speaker 1: If I felt confident about a team member, it meant they were trustworthy.
• 1:53
  Speaker 1: All that makes sense right.
• 1:55
  Speaker 1: Well closer to home.
• 1:56
  Speaker 1: If I felt good feelings around someone, I took it for granted that they were a really great person.
• 2:02
  Speaker 1: When I got excited about something, I thought this is possible for me.
• 2:06
  Speaker 1: And when I felt shame, I assumed I was inherently flawed.
• 2:10
  Speaker 1: If I was angry with someone, they were at fault.
• 2:14
  Speaker 1: And if I felt fear, it meant either I was in real danger or my identity and the way I was living my life was in real danger.
• 2:24
  Speaker 1: So I'd immediately move into fight or flight.
• 2:27
  Speaker 1: Can you relate to any of these scenarios?
• 2:30
  Speaker 1: Do they sound familiar to you?
• 2:32
  Speaker 1: You see, here's the thing Emotions aren't a reflection of reality.
• 2:36
  Speaker 1: They're a reflection or expression of your underlying beliefs the beliefs about yourself, about others and about the world around you.
• 2:47
  Speaker 1: So, while your beliefs are influential, they are definitely not the truth or the full scope of potentiality available within yourself or around you.
• 2:58
  Speaker 1: In other words, they are unreliable guides.
• 3:02
  Speaker 1: Now here's the thing no one tells us that our emotions are not the truth.
• 3:06
  Speaker 1: Instead, the message that we often receive from well-meaning friends, doctors and society at large is that we need to suppress, fix or medicate them.
• 3:17
  Speaker 1: Now I would like to invite you to consider a different, more empowering way to work with your emotions.
• 3:23
  Speaker 1: You see, I firmly believe that your emotions exist for a reason, and I believe that reason is they exist to drive decisions.
• 3:32
  Speaker 1: You see, your brain, as brilliant as it is, struggles with all the variables and complexity that come with a single decision, so it uses our emotional center to compel us to decide.
• 3:45
  Speaker 1: Did you know, when the emotional centers of the brain are damaged or cut out, as what can happen in brain surgery the person who has lost their orbital frontal lobe loses their all ability to make decisions.
• 3:59
  Speaker 1: I mean, they become paralyzed to even the simplest of choices like well, what do you want to eat for breakfast?
• 4:04
  Speaker 1: So our emotions and our emotional center in the brain are a powerful tool when we are aware of what it is feeling and therefore highlighting what it believes.
• 4:21
  Speaker 1: So let me break down the most common emotional patterns I see in entrepreneurs and decipher what they really mean.
• 4:35
  Speaker 1: So fear?
• 4:35
  Speaker 1: This is almost always related to trust.
• 4:36
  Speaker 1: When we have trust issues, we don't feel physically or emotionally viable in life and experience a corresponding anxiety or terror or something in between that tells us we are not safe.
• 4:47
  Speaker 1: For example, when a client tells me that they're afraid to scale their business, it's really about the actual challenges of scaling.
• 4:55
  Speaker 1: It's almost always about trust.
• 4:57
  Speaker 1: Now I had a life coach who was terrified of raising her prices, even though she was booked in advance.
• 5:04
  Speaker 1: Terrified of raising her prices even though she was booked in advance.
• 5:08
  Speaker 1: So her fear wasn't about the market.
• 5:09
  Speaker 1: It was actually a deep-seated belief that she couldn't trust herself to deliver value at that high price point.
• 5:16
  Speaker 1: Now frustration often corresponds to a deeper feeling that you feel like you don't have any control.
• 5:23
  Speaker 1: Now imagine you've just created a comprehensive online course.
• 5:29
  Speaker 1: You've poured months into crafting the perfect content, you've invested in top-tier production and your beta testers gave phenomenal feedback.
• 5:37
  Speaker 1: You launch it with great expectations but, despite your brilliant marketing strategy, the sales just aren't coming in.
• 5:46
  Speaker 1: You feel intense frustration watching your daily metrics, tweaking ads, adjusting copy, but nothing seems to move the needle.
• 5:54
  Speaker 1: Well, that frustration isn't actually about the course or the marketing you're doing.
• 6:00
  Speaker 1: It's about the belief that you should be able to control the market's response.
• 6:05
  Speaker 1: It's the story that if you just work hard enough, smart enough or find the right strategy, you'll be able to control the outcome.
• 6:13
  Speaker 1: But here's the truth While you can control your content quality, your marketing efforts and your service delivery, you can't control timing, market readiness or individual buying decisions.
• 6:29
  Speaker 1: Now, if you are listening to this podcast episode, which you are, there's a high chance you are also the type of person who has a constant need to achieve more, learn more and be more.
• 6:41
  Speaker 1: You're not alone, by the way.
• 6:44
  Speaker 1: You know.
• 6:45
  Speaker 1: Some of my clients are absolutely crushing it with their external metrics, but there's another lot who are struggling, and what they're struggling with is a persistent feeling of emptiness, not feeling fulfilled with what they are achieving or already have achieved in their life.
• 7:02
  Speaker 1: Now, on the surface, the feeling is a dissatisfaction, but underneath it's the belief of not being enough.
• 7:12
  Speaker 1: Now, one specific client was earning seven figures, but she still felt like an imposter in her business because she had this not good enough belief running unconsciously in the background for her Now anger.
• 7:26
  Speaker 1: This emotion reflects a short-term sense of powerlessness.
• 7:31
  Speaker 1: Right now, things aren't the way you want them to be and you feel powerless to change them.
• 7:37
  Speaker 1: Now depression is the long-term sense of powerlessness, the belief that your condition or situation is more or less permanently hopeless.
• 7:49
  Speaker 1: Think about a woman who's dedicated 25 years of her life to supporting her family's success.
• 7:54
  Speaker 1: She's been the backbone, raising the children, managing the household, being the emotional bedrock that allowed her husband to focus entirely on building his business.
• 8:04
  Speaker 1: She's done everything right, according to the traditional playbook.
• 8:09
  Speaker 1: So initially, when her husband announces that he wants a divorce, you can bet your boots.
• 8:15
  Speaker 1: She feels intense anger.
• 8:17
  Speaker 1: Now, this is short-term powerlessness.
• 8:20
  Speaker 1: She's angry because right now, in this moment, she probably can't change his decision.
• 8:26
  Speaker 1: She can't make him see or value all that she's sacrificed.
• 8:31
  Speaker 1: She can't help him understand or even acknowledge that his business success was built on the foundation of her unseen and unpaid labor.
• 8:40
  Speaker 1: And that initial surge of anger comes from feeling powerless in the immediate situation.
• 8:45
  Speaker 1: It's something that's getting more and more prevalent.
• 8:48
  Speaker 1: But as the weeks turn into months and she faces the reality of starting over at 50 or 60 years old, with no recent work experience, no independent income and no clear path forward.
• 9:00
  Speaker 1: This is where we often see that anger then transform into depression, because this reflects long-term powerlessness, that belief that her whole life's investment has left her permanently vulnerable, that she's too old to start over, that her skills aren't valuable in today's market and that she'll never recover, financially or emotionally, from this betrayal.
• 9:23
  Speaker 1: But the key distinction here is crucial for healing and growth.
• 9:29
  Speaker 1: The anger, that short-term powerlessness, is actually a healthy response, because it's your emotional system saying this isn't right and I don't accept it.
• 9:41
  Speaker 1: But when that transforms into depression, well, that's when we get long-term powerlessness and it's because we started believing a story about our permanent limitations or hopelessness.
• 9:53
  Speaker 1: The truth is, neither the anger nor the depression is telling us the truth about what's possible.
• 10:00
  Speaker 1: They're simply expressing beliefs, beliefs about justice, about value, about possibility and about self-worth.
• 10:08
  Speaker 1: And when we can recognize this, we can start to access a different kind of truth, one that acknowledges both the real pain and injustice of the situation and our innate capacity to create something new.
• 10:23
  Speaker 1: Now many women in this situation have gone on to build remarkable new lives, starting businesses, finding new purposes, creating financial independence and even helping others navigate similar transitions, not because they denied their emotions, but because they learned to see those emotions as signals of beliefs that could be questioned and changed and challenged, rather than seeing them as final verdicts on their lives.
• 10:49
  Speaker 1: You know, our emotions speak to us in plain English and if we can develop the awareness to listen to them, we can decipher what they are saying in regards to what we believe about ourselves, others and the world.
• 11:02
  Speaker 1: And if we can take it a step deeper and recognize our emotions without reacting to or identifying with them as in making them I am afraid or I am depressed then we take the power out of that belief that's being expressed.
• 11:20
  Speaker 1: You know where do you think the expression the truth will set you free comes from.
• 11:26
  Speaker 1: So the goal here isn't to stop feeling negative emotions or to only think positively, because that's actually just lying to yourself and it's like putting a band-aid on a broken arm.
• 11:35
  Speaker 1: It doesn't actually help.
• 11:37
  Speaker 1: What we need to do is we need to acknowledge and recognize that emotions are the messengers of our beliefs.
• 11:44
  Speaker 1: We need to listen to what they're telling us, without identifying with them or making them part of our identity, and then we need to use them to connect to our higher self.
• 11:55
  Speaker 1: You see, emotions are also the language of the soul.
• 11:59
  Speaker 1: Think about when we do visioning to create what we want.
• 12:03
  Speaker 1: We create a picture of the end result and then we get into the emotion of that end result.
• 12:08
  Speaker 1: It's the key to successful manifesting.
• 12:10
  Speaker 1: So emotions connect us to our higher spirit, which is that genius part of us that is linked to all things through all time and space.
• 12:20
  Speaker 1: They are a very powerful force and when any emotion has the power, it will drive your perception of reality and what you have to do about it.
• 12:29
  Speaker 1: For example, the feeling of depression might direct you to give up and defeat and, by the way, just trying to override that emotion will only give it more power because you're placing your attention on it.
• 12:42
  Speaker 1: Don't think of a blue tree.
• 12:44
  Speaker 1: I bet you just thought about a blue tree.
• 12:48
  Speaker 1: Don't think about depression.
• 12:51
  Speaker 1: It doesn't work like that.
• 12:53
  Speaker 1: Right, you get the picture Now.
• 12:55
  Speaker 1: In previous episodes I talk about the creative structure.
• 12:58
  Speaker 1: Well, this is when it comes into play.
• 13:00
  Speaker 1: Most people will probably only think creative structure applies to your goals, but it doesn't.
• 13:04
  Speaker 1: It applies to every aspect of your life.
• 13:07
  Speaker 1: You see, if you feel some sense of inspiration, that emotion will put you in an inspired state of mind and lead you to inspired action, no matter what your emotion was previously, you know.
• 13:19
  Speaker 1: Let me ask you a question.
• 13:19
  Speaker 1: If you walk into a room that's had its air conditioning on all day and it's been set at, say, 16 degrees well, that's cold.
• 13:27
  Speaker 1: So what do you do?
• 13:28
  Speaker 1: Well, you look for ways to turn the temperature up.
• 13:32
  Speaker 1: You look for ways to heat the room.
• 13:34
  Speaker 1: You don't focus on the cold, you focus on making the room warm.
• 13:38
  Speaker 1: And it's the same premise here.
• 13:41
  Speaker 1: In the art of alchemy, they talk about using the higher vibration against the lower vibration.
• 13:46
  Speaker 1: So if we apply that to our emotions, you would see what is going on for you at both the level of your lower or negative emotion and at the level of your higher emotion, which is what you desire instead.
• 13:58
  Speaker 1: And when you can see both simultaneously.
• 14:01
  Speaker 1: Well, it's then possible to self-consciously choose which emotion you want to have the power, which emotion you want your subconscious to take its cues from.
• 14:13
  Speaker 1: Now that's true empowerment, because that's being the creative force in your life.
• 14:21
  Speaker 1: Now, it does take training and practice to reach this level of mastery and full disclosure.
• 14:25
  Speaker 1: I'm not there yet, but I certainly am working on it and on a daily basis, and every day I practice and train myself to think about it in this way, I'm getting better at it.
• 14:37
  Speaker 1: So, to wrap up this episode, I want you to remember your emotions are not the enemy and they are not your truth.
• 14:46
  Speaker 1: They are your gateway to understanding yourself and accessing your natural genius as an entrepreneur or business coach, or just an incredible person on this planet.
• 14:58
  Speaker 1: And when you master this understanding, you'll find yourself operating from a place of genuine power rather than emotional reactivity.
• 15:08
  Speaker 1: Now, in early January, I'm going to be running a live online program specifically tailored to help you set up your new years in a way that uses these ancient hermetic principles and alchemy.
• 15:20
  Speaker 1: So if you'd like to get on the waitlist to find out more, then please check out this episode on my website at terriannepalmercom.
• 15:28
  Speaker 1: So that's all for today.
• 15:31
  Speaker 1: If this episode resonated with you, I'd love to hear about your experiences with emotional intelligence.
• 15:37
  Speaker 1: So drop me a message on social media or leave a comment below, and remember to get your name on the waitlist for the January program.
• 15:45
  Speaker 1: Until next time, keep evolving, keep growing and remember your emotions are just the doorway to your genius.
• 15:55
  Speaker 1: They are not your limitation.