Latest / Quick Wins for ADHD Moms - Short Episodes, Real Solutions for Burnout and Overwhelm / How to Reclaim Your Home from ADHD Chaos | 011

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How to Reclaim Your Home from ADHD Chaos | 011 · Quick Wins for ADHD Moms - Short Episodes, Real Solutions for Burnout and Overwhelm

• 0:00
  SPEAKER_00: Hey, welcome back to Quick Wins for ADHD moms.
• 0:04
  SPEAKER_00: I'm Jess, an ADHD mom with ADHD kids.
• 0:08
  SPEAKER_00: Lord help us all.
• 0:09
  SPEAKER_00: This episode is called Help, I Live in Chaos.
• 0:14
  SPEAKER_00: Because let's be honest, sometimes the house, the schedule, your car, your inbox, the pantry, it all feels like a hot mess.
• 0:23
  SPEAKER_00: And you're the one driving it.
• 0:25
  SPEAKER_00: So if you're drowning in clutter, surrounded by noise, tripping over laundry, or forgetting where you put your coffee two minutes ago, you're in the right place.
• 0:35
  SPEAKER_00: So let's talk about that chaos and why it's so consistent in ADHD life.
• 0:41
  SPEAKER_00: And what do you do when you feel like you're about to scream?
• 0:46
  SPEAKER_00: One option is that you can just scream.
• 0:50
  SPEAKER_00: Scream into a pillow.
• 0:51
  SPEAKER_00: But before we dive into all of this, here's today's quick win.
• 0:56
  SPEAKER_00: Pick one chaotic zone in your life and just give it five minutes of attention.
• 1:01
  SPEAKER_00: This could be your kitchen counter, maybe your purse, the front seat of your car, the steps, the basement, the garage, whatever is screaming the loudest.
• 1:11
  SPEAKER_00: Set a timer, just five minutes of attention, one tiny little zone to tidy.
• 1:17
  SPEAKER_00: You're not fixing everything today.
• 1:20
  SPEAKER_00: You're just spending five minutes on a quick tidy or organization.
• 1:24
  SPEAKER_00: That is it.
• 1:26
  SPEAKER_00: Five minutes, that's it.
• 1:28
  SPEAKER_00: And this is something that works really well with your kids, too.
• 1:31
  SPEAKER_00: I tell them, I'm not asking them to spend 30 minutes making their room perfect.
• 1:36
  SPEAKER_00: Okay, that's not the goal.
• 1:37
  SPEAKER_00: All I'm doing is asking them to spend five minutes.
• 1:41
  SPEAKER_00: Just pick up only the laundry or just only gather the trash in their room.
• 1:46
  SPEAKER_00: It's amazing how much accumulates.
• 1:48
  SPEAKER_00: And then we just say, Alexa, set a timer for five minutes.
• 1:52
  SPEAKER_00: And they get as much done as they possibly can in five minutes, and they do still get distracted.
• 1:57
  SPEAKER_00: But then they're done.
• 1:58
  SPEAKER_00: For now, anyway.
• 2:00
  SPEAKER_00: I actually use my Apple Watch a lot.
• 2:02
  SPEAKER_00: I'll hold down the side button and say, set a timer for five minutes.
• 2:06
  SPEAKER_00: And sometimes that's all I need to continue cleaning and organizing, or I can just quit after five minutes and feel like I actually tried.
• 2:14
  SPEAKER_00: All right, let's go back and talk about chaos.
• 2:17
  SPEAKER_00: ADHD often lives on a foundation of unmanaged chaos, and you can probably really feel this.
• 2:24
  SPEAKER_00: And it shows up in three big areas of your life: there's physical chaos, clutter, piles of dishes, and mess.
• 2:32
  SPEAKER_00: There's also mental chaos, the to-do lists in your head, the forgotten appointments, idea overload.
• 2:40
  SPEAKER_00: And then there's the emotional chaos, the guilt, the shame, the overstimulation, the panic, the burnout.
• 2:48
  SPEAKER_00: And they feed on each other.
• 2:50
  SPEAKER_00: Physical clutter makes your brain foggy.
• 2:53
  SPEAKER_00: Brain fog makes you feel emotional.
• 2:56
  SPEAKER_00: Emotional overload makes you just shut down.
• 3:00
  SPEAKER_00: And then that cycle continues.
• 3:02
  SPEAKER_00: And then, oh yeah, throw in some hormones.
• 3:05
  SPEAKER_00: Now for a minute, think about this from your kids' perspective.
• 3:08
  SPEAKER_00: Maybe they don't realize how much they're affected by their own messes and the loudness of their brains.
• 3:15
  SPEAKER_00: And then you ask them one simple task, hey, can you take this upstairs?
• 3:20
  SPEAKER_00: And then they blow up at you.
• 3:22
  SPEAKER_00: Can you relate now?
• 3:24
  SPEAKER_00: Sure, it's a simple task.
• 3:26
  SPEAKER_00: Just pay the utility bill.
• 3:28
  SPEAKER_00: We do it every month.
• 3:29
  SPEAKER_00: Just pay it.
• 3:30
  SPEAKER_00: Or just put these three toys away.
• 3:32
  SPEAKER_00: But you've hit your limit, and this small task feels like a giant mountain.
• 3:37
  SPEAKER_00: And then we feel stupid or guilty because is it really that hard to write a check?
• 3:43
  SPEAKER_00: So think about it this way.
• 3:45
  SPEAKER_00: Our ADHD brains have a few key traits that make our chaos even harder to manage.
• 3:50
  SPEAKER_00: First, there's out of sight, out of mind.
• 3:53
  SPEAKER_00: So we leave stuff out.
• 3:54
  SPEAKER_00: We leave stuff out on counters, we leave stuff on the floor, on the steps, on the chairs, because we're afraid that we're gonna forget about it.
• 4:03
  SPEAKER_00: I leave visual reminders out all the time, so I don't forget, but then it becomes part of the clutter.
• 4:10
  SPEAKER_00: Another ADHD brain trait that makes chaos harder to manage is that we struggle with task initiation.
• 4:17
  SPEAKER_00: We know it's a mess, but starting feels impossible.
• 4:22
  SPEAKER_00: Also, we have time blindness.
• 4:24
  SPEAKER_00: We think we can clean the whole kitchen in just 10 minutes, and then we lose three hours of hyper focusing on just the junk drawer.
• 4:32
  SPEAKER_00: We also get decision fatigue.
• 4:35
  SPEAKER_00: Every object that's out of place means you have to make a decision.
• 4:39
  SPEAKER_00: Where does this go?
• 4:40
  SPEAKER_00: Do I still want it?
• 4:41
  SPEAKER_00: Do I need it?
• 4:42
  SPEAKER_00: Is this broken?
• 4:43
  SPEAKER_00: Do I need to ask my husband to fix it?
• 4:46
  SPEAKER_00: Are the kids missing it?
• 4:47
  SPEAKER_00: Can I just throw it away or will I get in trouble later?
• 4:50
  SPEAKER_00: Decision fatigue.
• 4:51
  SPEAKER_00: So what do we do when we feel like we're just buried in this chaos?
• 4:56
  SPEAKER_00: Here's a few ideas to think about.
• 4:58
  SPEAKER_00: And we're not going to fix everything right away.
• 5:02
  SPEAKER_00: That's our impulsivity that wants to fix everything right away.
• 5:05
  SPEAKER_00: But we're not going to be impulsive.
• 5:07
  SPEAKER_00: We're not going to fix everything right away.
• 5:10
  SPEAKER_00: So let's do a mindset refresh about chaos.
• 5:13
  SPEAKER_00: So one thing you can do is just create zones of peace.
• 5:18
  SPEAKER_00: You don't need your whole house to be spotless.
• 5:21
  SPEAKER_00: I know you want to.
• 5:23
  SPEAKER_00: Our perfectionist mind is going to be fighting us over this.
• 5:27
  SPEAKER_00: But tell yourself, for right now, you only need one space that gives you peace.
• 5:32
  SPEAKER_00: And start with a small manageable zone.
• 5:35
  SPEAKER_00: So maybe it's your nightstand or the front seat of your car.
• 5:39
  SPEAKER_00: Maybe just one drawer.
• 5:42
  SPEAKER_00: Maybe it's the corner of the kitchen where you make coffee that just needs to be cleaned up and wiped down.
• 5:46
  SPEAKER_00: Just keep that part tidy and let it be a visual reset.
• 5:51
  SPEAKER_00: Another thing you can do is just give yourself a reset time daily.
• 5:55
  SPEAKER_00: It could be 10 minutes in the morning.
• 5:57
  SPEAKER_00: It could be taking a quick 15-minute cat nap, if you're able to do that, or getting the coffee maker ready for the morning, like right after dinner.
• 6:06
  SPEAKER_00: Use that reset time to do really small but mental clearing tasks and do this for yourself.
• 6:13
  SPEAKER_00: Maybe put 10 things away.
• 6:15
  SPEAKER_00: Maybe do a brain dump, you know, onto a piece of paper.
• 6:19
  SPEAKER_00: We've talked about that before.
• 6:20
  SPEAKER_00: Maybe just reset one room or part of a room, or even just breathe and regroup.
• 6:27
  SPEAKER_00: Um, a 10-minute yoga, 10-minute walk, maybe a 10-minute or even a three-minute breathing exercise.
• 6:34
  SPEAKER_00: It just builds in the resets instead of waiting for meltdowns.
• 6:39
  SPEAKER_00: Another thing you can do is just name the chaos out loud.
• 6:43
  SPEAKER_00: Get it out of your head.
• 6:44
  SPEAKER_00: And sometimes you just need to say, This room is a disaster, and I am feeling overwhelmed.
• 6:51
  SPEAKER_00: Just say it without shame.
• 6:53
  SPEAKER_00: Okay, it happened.
• 6:55
  SPEAKER_00: This happens in every house that has people in it.
• 6:58
  SPEAKER_00: And we can fix this, even just a really small little part of it.
• 7:01
  SPEAKER_00: Reflect on one small way you could get the kids to tidy their masks.
• 7:06
  SPEAKER_00: Have them take responsibility for their things.
• 7:09
  SPEAKER_00: Or maybe you need to take responsibility for your own things.
• 7:13
  SPEAKER_00: You're not a failure.
• 7:14
  SPEAKER_00: You're just figuring things out, taking care of one small, small, small piece of chaos at a time.
• 7:21
  SPEAKER_00: You're a human with an ADHD brain in a season of life that is demanding more out of most of us than we ever thought we could manage.
• 7:30
  SPEAKER_00: Where was the college class on that?
• 7:32
  SPEAKER_00: That's what I want to know.
• 7:34
  SPEAKER_00: So let's take our own course.
• 7:36
  SPEAKER_00: Let's make our own course and go through it together now.
• 7:38
  SPEAKER_00: All right, so what was your quick win for today?
• 7:41
  SPEAKER_00: Pick one chaotic zone and just give it five minutes of attention.
• 7:45
  SPEAKER_00: That's it.
• 7:46
  SPEAKER_00: Set a timer.
• 7:47
  SPEAKER_00: Pick up the socks, wipe the counter or microwave down, maybe gather all the empty cups in the living room.
• 7:53
  SPEAKER_00: It doesn't have to fix everything, but it anchors you in progress.
• 7:58
  SPEAKER_00: And progress beats perfection every single time.
• 8:01
  SPEAKER_00: Well, if this episode helped you feel like you're not the only mom living in chaos of laundry and Legos, would you share it with a friend?
• 8:10
  SPEAKER_00: As a group of ADHD moms with ADHD kids, we're not chasing perfect.
• 8:15
  SPEAKER_00: We're gonna lose our minds.
• 8:16
  SPEAKER_00: Some of us have already lost our minds, and that's why we're here.
• 8:19
  SPEAKER_00: What we're doing is we're choosing simple, doable wins that support our brains by giving us just a moment of peace.
• 8:27
  SPEAKER_00: Well, until next time, have a beautiful day.