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The Grown Ups Guide to Teenage Humans - Practical Advice For Raising Teens · Other Peoples Parenting

0:00
Hi,
0:00
everyone.
0:00
Welcome
0:01
to
0:01
Other
0:01
People's
0:02
Parenting,
0:02
where
0:02
we
0:03
read
0:03
parenting
0:04
books
0:04
and
0:04
tell
0:05
you
0:05
about
0:05
them.
0:05
I'm
0:06
Skylar
0:06
Hurwitz,
0:07
amateur
0:07
parent,
0:07
and
0:08
this
0:08
is
0:08
my
0:08
mom,
0:08
Karen
0:09
Quinn.
0:10
She
0:10
is
0:10
a
0:10
New
0:10
York
0:10
Times
0:11
best
0:11
selling
0:11
author
0:11
and
0:12
the
0:12
founder
0:12
of
0:12
Habit
0:13
Coach
0:13
and
0:13
Testing
0:14
Mom.
0:14
Hi,
0:15
mom.
0:15
Hi.
0:16
How
0:16
are
0:16
you,
0:16
Skylar?
0:17
Oh,
0:17
I'm
0:17
good.
0:18
Good.
0:18
How
0:18
are
0:18
you?
0:19
I'm
0:19
good.
0:19
I'm
0:20
good.
0:20
Good.
0:21
Today
0:22
we're
0:22
gonna
0:22
be
0:23
discussing
0:24
a
0:24
book
0:24
called
0:26
the
0:26
Grown
0:27
Up's
0:27
Guide
0:27
to
0:27
Teenage
0:28
Humans
0:29
by
0:29
Josh
0:30
Shipp.
0:31
I
0:31
enjoyed
0:32
it.
0:32
Teen,
0:33
on
0:33
a
0:33
scale
0:34
of
0:34
scientist
0:35
to
0:35
parent,
0:36
how
0:36
readable
0:36
was
0:36
this
0:37
book?
0:37
Well,
0:38
the
0:38
book
0:38
was,
0:39
I
0:39
would
0:40
say,
0:40
very
0:40
readable.
0:42
It
0:43
does
0:43
not
0:43
have
0:44
tons
0:44
and
0:45
tons
0:45
of
0:45
studies
0:46
or
0:46
charts
0:46
or
0:47
that
0:47
kind
0:47
of
0:47
thing.
0:47
He
0:48
does
0:48
back
0:48
up
0:49
a
0:49
lot
0:49
of
0:49
what
0:49
he
0:49
says
0:50
with
0:50
research
0:50
studies,
0:51
but
0:51
he
0:51
builds
0:52
it
0:52
into
0:52
the
0:52
text
0:53
and
0:53
it's
0:53
just
0:54
easy
0:54
to
0:54
read.
0:55
So
0:55
I
0:55
would
0:55
say
0:56
Maybe
0:56
it's
0:57
an
0:57
8
0:57
or
0:58
a
0:58
9
0:58
in
0:58
terms
0:58
of
0:59
readability.
1:00
Yeah.
1:01
So
1:01
I
1:02
enjoyed
1:02
this
1:02
book
1:02
as
1:02
well.
1:03
I
1:03
will
1:04
say
1:04
it
1:05
really
1:05
kind
1:06
of
1:06
terrified
1:06
me
1:07
for
1:07
the
1:07
prospect
1:08
of
1:08
my
1:08
sweet
1:09
angel
1:09
infant
1:10
becoming
1:10
a
1:11
teenager.
1:13
But
1:13
I
1:13
don't
1:13
know,
1:14
maybe
1:14
my
1:14
mom
1:14
will
1:14
reassure
1:15
me
1:15
that
1:16
I
1:16
wasn't
1:16
such
1:16
a
1:17
bad
1:17
teenager.
1:18
So
1:18
perhaps
1:19
my
1:19
sweet
1:20
baby
1:20
will
1:20
also
1:21
be
1:21
a
1:21
nice
1:21
child.
1:21
Well,
1:21
no,
1:22
you
1:22
should
1:22
be
1:22
terrified.
1:23
I
1:23
think
1:23
you
1:24
should
1:24
be
1:24
terrified.
1:24
I
1:25
mean,
1:25
any
1:25
parent
1:26
terrified
1:26
about
1:27
teenage
1:27
years,
1:28
those
1:28
are
1:29
hard
1:29
years.
1:29
I
1:30
mean,
1:30
even
1:30
you
1:31
were
1:31
a
1:32
pretty
1:32
easy
1:33
teenager
1:33
as
1:34
teenagers
1:34
go,
1:36
but
1:37
your
1:37
brother
1:37
was
1:37
a
1:38
hard
1:38
teenager
1:38
as
1:39
teenagers
1:39
go.
1:40
I
1:40
mean,
1:40
I
1:40
think
1:41
kids
1:41
are
1:41
difficult.
1:42
You
1:42
just
1:43
never
1:43
know
1:43
because
1:44
those
1:44
are
1:44
the
1:44
years
1:45
that
1:45
kids
1:45
are
1:46
struggling
1:46
in
1:46
a
1:47
lot
1:47
of
1:47
ways
1:48
to
1:48
find
1:48
out
1:48
who
1:49
they
1:49
are
1:50
and
1:50
to
1:50
make
1:51
their
1:51
place
1:51
in
1:51
the
1:51
world
1:52
and
1:53
to
1:53
assert
1:53
their
1:53
independence.
1:55
And
1:56
the
1:56
teenage
1:56
years
1:56
can
1:57
be
1:57
hard.
1:59
As
1:59
you
1:59
can
1:59
tell
2:00
when
2:00
you
2:00
read
2:00
this
2:00
book.
2:01
I
2:01
mean,
2:01
the
2:01
things
2:01
he
2:02
talks
2:02
about.
2:03
He
2:03
starts
2:04
the
2:04
book
2:04
off
2:04
with
2:05
this
2:05
anecdote
2:06
about
2:06
this
2:07
man
2:07
named
2:07
Rodney
2:09
and
2:09
how
2:09
Rodney,
2:10
the
2:11
author,
2:11
was
2:11
in
2:11
and
2:11
out
2:11
of
2:11
foster
2:12
care
2:12
as
2:12
a
2:12
kid.
2:12
And
2:13
Rodney
2:13
was
2:13
a
2:14
consistent
2:14
adult
2:15
in
2:15
his
2:15
life
2:16
who
2:16
supported
2:16
him
2:17
and
2:17
encouraged
2:17
him.
2:18
And
2:19
he
2:19
thinks
2:19
that
2:20
everyone
2:20
should
2:21
have
2:21
a
2:21
Rodney.
2:22
I
2:22
had
2:23
a
2:23
Rodney.
2:24
I
2:24
had
2:24
two
2:24
Rodneys.
2:25
Who
2:25
were
2:25
your
2:25
Rodneys?
2:26
One
2:26
was
2:26
my
2:27
history
2:27
teacher,
2:28
slash
2:29
theater.
2:29
This
2:30
was
2:30
consistent.
2:30
Actually.
2:31
No
2:31
one
2:31
was
2:31
an
2:32
English
2:32
teacher.
2:32
One
2:32
was
2:33
a
2:33
history
2:33
teacher,
2:34
my
2:34
history
2:35
teacher,
2:35
who
2:36
was
2:37
also
2:37
the
2:37
director
2:37
of
2:38
the
2:38
plays,
2:39
who
2:40
also
2:41
loved
2:42
going
2:43
to
2:43
the
2:43
racetrack,
2:44
to
2:44
the
2:44
aqueducts.
2:45
We
2:45
got
2:45
to
2:45
go
2:45
there
2:45
on
2:46
a
2:46
field
2:46
trip
2:46
once,
2:46
which
2:46
was
2:47
weird,
2:47
but
2:48
great.
2:48
And
2:49
then
2:49
my
2:49
other
2:50
Rodney
2:51
was
2:51
my
2:51
English
2:52
teacher
2:52
my
2:52
senior
2:53
year,
2:53
who
2:53
was
2:53
just
2:53
like
2:53
an
2:54
old
2:54
queen
2:55
who
2:55
When
2:56
I
2:56
moved
2:56
to
2:57
Miami
2:57
for
2:57
my
2:57
senior
2:58
year
2:58
of
2:58
high
2:58
school
2:59
and
3:00
was
3:00
auditioning
3:00
for
3:00
the
3:01
play,
3:01
he's
3:01
like,
3:01
oh,
3:02
do
3:02
you
3:02
have
3:02
any
3:02
experience?
3:03
I
3:03
was
3:03
like,
3:03
honey,
3:04
I'm
3:04
a
3:04
professional.
3:06
And
3:06
I
3:07
got
3:07
cast
3:07
in
3:07
the
3:07
lead
3:07
of
3:08
the
3:08
play.
3:08
I
3:08
ate
3:08
lunch
3:08
with
3:09
him
3:09
almost
3:09
every
3:09
day
3:10
because
3:11
I
3:11
did
3:12
not
3:12
like
3:13
the
3:13
kids
3:13
at
3:14
that
3:14
school
3:14
very
3:14
much.
3:15
I
3:15
had
3:15
one
3:15
crazy
3:16
friend.
3:17
She
3:17
showed
3:17
up
3:18
to
3:18
school
3:18
half
3:18
the
3:18
time,
3:19
so
3:19
when
3:19
she
3:19
wasn't
3:19
there,
3:19
I
3:20
was
3:20
hanging
3:20
out
3:20
with
3:20
the
3:20
English
3:21
teacher.
3:21
So
3:22
he
3:22
was
3:22
your
3:22
Rodney.
3:23
He
3:23
was
3:23
the
3:23
person
3:23
who
3:24
believed
3:25
in
3:25
you.
3:27
What
3:27
about
3:27
your
3:27
parents?
3:28
Were
3:28
they
3:28
not
3:28
your
3:29
Rodneys?
3:31
No.
3:31
You
3:31
would
3:31
say,
3:32
no,
3:32
you
3:32
were
3:32
not
3:32
my
3:33
Rodney.
3:33
I
3:33
wasn't
3:34
your
3:34
Rodney.
3:34
You
3:34
were
3:34
not
3:34
my
3:34
Rodney.
3:35
I
3:35
mean,
3:36
I
3:36
thought
3:36
I
3:36
was
3:36
giving
3:36
you
3:37
so
3:37
much
3:37
support
3:38
all
3:38
through.
3:39
You
3:39
were.
3:40
You
3:40
honestly
3:41
went
3:41
so
3:41
far
3:41
above
3:41
and
3:42
beyond.
3:42
Especially
3:43
because
3:43
I
3:44
was
3:44
asked
3:45
to
3:45
leave
3:46
several
3:47
schools,
3:48
some
3:48
more
3:48
gently
3:49
than
3:49
others,
3:49
and
3:50
you
3:51
tirelessly
3:53
sought
3:53
a
3:53
place
3:53
for
3:54
me
3:54
when
3:54
one
3:55
clearly
3:55
did
3:55
not
3:55
exist.
3:56
I
3:56
did.
3:57
But
3:57
in
3:58
terms
3:58
of,
3:58
like,
3:58
a
3:58
mentor.
3:59
Right.
4:00
Okay.
4:01
I
4:01
feel
4:01
like
4:01
I
4:01
identified
4:02
more
4:02
with
4:03
old
4:03
gay
4:03
men,
4:05
and
4:06
as
4:06
a
4:06
tween,
4:07
they
4:07
just
4:08
sort
4:08
of,
4:08
like,
4:08
got
4:09
me
4:09
okay.
4:10
You
4:10
know,
4:11
so.
4:12
So
4:12
that's
4:13
great.
4:13
I
4:13
mean,
4:13
because
4:14
you
4:14
as
4:14
a.
4:14
As
4:15
a
4:15
teenager,
4:15
I
4:16
mean,
4:16
you
4:16
did
4:17
struggle.
4:17
You
4:18
had
4:18
adhd,
4:19
you
4:19
had
4:20
learning
4:20
disabilities,
4:21
so
4:21
you
4:22
had
4:22
a
4:22
lot
4:22
of
4:25
failure
4:25
in
4:26
school,
4:26
and
4:27
so
4:27
you
4:27
needed
4:28
somebody.
4:29
To
4:31
tell
4:31
me
4:31
I
4:31
was
4:31
too
4:32
big
4:32
for
4:32
this
4:32
town.
4:33
That's
4:33
right.
4:33
And
4:34
that's
4:34
kind
4:34
of
4:34
what
4:35
they
4:35
did.
4:35
Because
4:35
you
4:35
were
4:36
very
4:36
confident.
4:37
Even
4:37
though
4:37
you
4:38
were
4:38
struggling
4:39
so
4:39
much
4:40
academically,
4:41
I
4:41
think
4:42
you
4:42
had
4:42
a
4:42
lot
4:42
of
4:43
confidence
4:43
because
4:43
you
4:44
did
4:44
have
4:44
people
4:44
in
4:44
your
4:45
life
4:45
who
4:45
believed
4:46
in
4:46
you,
4:46
who
4:47
supported
4:47
you.
4:48
So
4:48
you're
4:48
right.
4:49
So
4:49
that's
4:49
good.
4:49
I'm
4:50
very
4:50
glad.
4:51
I
4:51
don't
4:51
care
4:51
who
4:52
they.
4:53
If
4:53
they
4:53
were
4:53
behind
4:54
you
4:54
and
4:55
it
4:55
made
4:55
a
4:55
difference
4:56
to
4:56
you,
4:56
I
4:56
think
4:56
that's
4:57
great.
4:57
A
4:57
million
4:57
percent.
4:58
They
4:58
were
4:59
absolutely.
5:00
Well,
5:01
the
5:01
author
5:01
of
5:02
this
5:02
book
5:03
talks
5:03
about
5:04
all
5:04
the
5:04
different
5:04
mindsets,
5:05
what
5:06
kids
5:06
need
5:06
to
5:06
be
5:07
successful
5:09
and
5:09
what
5:09
parents
5:10
need.
5:10
The
5:11
mindsets
5:11
parents
5:12
need
5:12
to
5:12
have
5:12
when
5:12
they
5:12
are
5:13
raising
5:13
teenagers.
5:15
Steal
5:16
yourself.
5:17
Well,
5:17
kids
5:18
need
5:18
family
5:19
support.
5:20
They
5:20
need
5:21
to
5:21
be
5:21
doing
5:22
service
5:22
for
5:22
others
5:23
that
5:23
helps
5:23
them.
5:24
They
5:24
need
5:24
boundaries.
5:26
They
5:27
need
5:27
to
5:28
have
5:28
good
5:29
uses
5:29
of
5:29
their
5:29
time.
5:30
And
5:30
I
5:31
remember
5:31
at
5:31
one
5:31
point
5:32
when
5:32
you
5:32
were
5:32
having
5:32
a
5:33
lot
5:33
of
5:33
trouble,
5:34
and
5:34
we
5:35
went
5:35
to
5:35
see
5:35
a
5:35
counselor,
5:36
and
5:36
he
5:37
said,
5:38
get
5:38
her
5:38
involved
5:39
in
5:40
as
5:40
many
5:40
things
5:41
as
5:41
you
5:41
can,
5:42
theater,
5:42
sports,
5:43
whatever,
5:43
because
5:44
that
5:44
will
5:44
keep
5:44
her
5:46
doing
5:46
the
5:46
right
5:47
thing
5:47
as
5:47
opposed
5:48
to
5:50
hanging
5:50
out
5:50
with
5:51
the
5:51
wrong
5:51
crowd,
5:51
that
5:51
kind
5:52
of
5:52
thing.
5:52
Is
5:52
that
5:53
why
5:53
you
5:53
let
5:53
me
5:53
join
5:53
the
5:54
circus?
5:54
Yes.
5:55
That
5:55
was
5:55
why
5:56
we
5:56
found
5:56
a.
5:56
Because
5:56
you
5:57
loved
5:57
circus.
5:58
Yeah.
5:58
We
5:58
found
5:58
a
5:59
circus
5:59
for
5:59
you.
5:59
It
6:00
was
6:00
an
6:00
adult
6:00
circus.
6:01
It
6:01
was
6:01
the
6:01
only
6:01
one
6:01
we
6:01
could
6:02
find.
6:02
But
6:03
carnies
6:03
were
6:03
a
6:04
better
6:04
influence
6:04
than
6:05
other
6:05
teenagers.
6:06
Well,
6:06
weren't
6:07
they?
6:07
They
6:07
were,
6:08
yeah,
6:08
they
6:08
were.
6:08
They
6:09
were
6:09
great.
6:09
They
6:09
were
6:10
good.
6:10
You
6:10
did
6:10
really
6:11
well
6:11
with
6:11
that
6:11
circus.
6:12
I
6:12
mean,
6:12
I
6:13
thought
6:13
that
6:13
was
6:13
great
6:13
that,
6:14
you
6:14
know,
6:14
you
6:14
were
6:14
the
6:15
only
6:15
kid
6:16
at
6:16
your
6:16
school
6:17
doing
6:17
that
6:17
kind
6:17
of
6:17
thing.
6:18
I
6:18
was
6:18
very
6:18
nimble.
6:18
I
6:18
was
6:19
built
6:19
for
6:19
the
6:19
circus.
6:20
Yeah.
6:20
Yeah.
6:21
And
6:21
you
6:21
would
6:21
perform
6:22
without
6:22
a
6:22
net.
6:23
I
6:23
mean,
6:23
that
6:23
had
6:24
to
6:24
give
6:24
you
6:24
confidence,
6:25
that
6:25
kind
6:25
of
6:25
thing.
6:25
Yeah.
6:26
Scared
6:27
heck
6:27
out
6:27
of
6:28
me,
6:28
but.
6:29
Yeah.
6:29
But
6:30
anyway,
6:31
also,
6:32
kids
6:33
need
6:34
internal
6:34
traits
6:35
like
6:35
wanting
6:35
to
6:36
do
6:36
well
6:36
in
6:36
school,
6:37
which
6:37
you
6:37
did
6:38
not
6:38
have,
6:39
but.
6:39
And
6:40
executive
6:40
function
6:41
skills
6:42
like
6:43
planning
6:44
and
6:44
optimism
6:44
about
6:45
your
6:45
future.
6:46
And
6:47
what
6:47
they
6:47
say
6:47
in
6:48
the
6:48
book
6:48
is
6:48
you
6:48
need
6:48
to
6:48
spend
6:49
very
6:49
intentional
6:50
time
6:50
with
6:51
your
6:51
child,
6:52
with
6:52
your
6:52
teenager,
6:53
that
6:53
even
6:54
though
6:54
they
6:55
act
6:55
like
6:55
they
6:56
don't
6:56
want
6:56
you
6:56
around
6:57
when
6:57
they're
6:58
teenagers.
6:59
There
6:59
was
7:00
a
7:00
study
7:00
that
7:01
the
7:01
YMCA
7:02
and
7:02
some
7:02
other
7:03
big
7:03
group
7:04
study
7:04
group
7:04
did,
7:04
and
7:05
they
7:05
said
7:05
the
7:05
top
7:05
concern
7:06
of
7:06
teenagers
7:07
was
7:08
not
7:08
having
7:08
enough
7:09
time
7:09
with
7:09
their
7:09
parents.
7:10
Well,
7:10
I'll
7:10
tell
7:10
you,
7:11
you
7:11
kinda
7:11
fooled
7:12
me.
7:12
Well,
7:12
I
7:12
didn't
7:12
wanna
7:13
hang
7:13
out
7:13
with
7:13
you
7:13
as
7:14
a
7:14
teenager,
7:14
but
7:15
as
7:15
an
7:15
adult,
7:16
all
7:16
I
7:17
want
7:17
is
7:17
to
7:17
hang
7:18
out
7:18
with
7:18
you.
7:18
Well,
7:18
that's
7:19
the
7:19
good
7:19
news.
7:19
That
7:20
is
7:20
the
7:20
good
7:20
news
7:20
for
7:21
parents.
7:21
It
7:21
does
7:22
feel
7:22
like
7:23
with
7:24
your
7:24
teen,
7:24
it
7:25
feels
7:25
like
7:25
they
7:26
can't
7:27
stand
7:27
you,
7:27
they
7:28
hate
7:28
you,
7:29
they're
7:29
making
7:29
your
7:29
life
7:29
difficult.
7:30
They'
7:31
so
7:31
much.
7:31
There's
7:31
a
7:31
lot
7:32
of
7:32
conflict.
7:34
And
7:34
then,
7:35
thank
7:35
goodness,
7:36
they
7:36
grow
7:36
out
7:36
of
7:37
that.
7:37
And
7:37
they
7:38
do
7:38
become,
7:39
when
7:39
they're
7:39
adults,
7:40
the
7:40
people
7:40
you
7:40
really
7:41
want
7:41
to
7:41
be
7:41
with
7:41
more
7:42
than
7:42
anybody.
7:43
And
7:43
I
7:43
never
7:43
would
7:43
have
7:44
believed
7:44
that
7:45
when
7:45
you
7:45
were
7:45
going
7:45
through
7:46
the
7:46
teenage
7:46
years,
7:48
one
7:49
of
7:49
the
7:49
things
7:49
they
7:49
talk
7:49
about,
7:50
and
7:50
I
7:50
think
7:50
this
7:50
is
7:51
really
7:51
important
7:51
for
7:51
parents
7:52
to
7:52
understand,
7:52
is
7:53
when
7:53
you're
7:53
raising
7:54
your
7:54
kids
7:55
as
7:55
you
7:55
are
7:55
right
7:56
now,
7:56
you
7:57
are
7:57
controlling
7:58
everything
7:58
that
7:59
they
7:59
do.
8:00
But
8:00
when
8:00
they
8:00
become
8:00
a
8:01
teenager,
8:02
you
8:02
have
8:02
to
8:02
become
8:03
their
8:03
coach.
8:04
That's
8:04
really,
8:05
really
8:05
important.
8:07
We
8:07
had
8:07
a
8:07
basketball
8:08
coach
8:08
in
8:08
one
8:09
of
8:09
my
8:09
several
8:09
schools
8:10
that
8:10
told
8:10
us
8:10
to
8:11
be
8:11
quick,
8:11
but
8:12
don't
8:12
hurry.
8:13
Ooh.
8:13
Which
8:14
felt
8:14
like
8:14
a
8:14
fortune
8:15
cookie.
8:15
It
8:15
does.
8:15
I
8:16
still
8:16
to
8:16
this
8:16
day
8:16
think
8:17
of.
8:17
That
8:17
coach,
8:17
be
8:18
quick,
8:18
but
8:18
don't
8:18
hurry.
8:19
That
8:20
isn't.
8:20
I
8:20
don't
8:20
know
8:20
what
8:20
that
8:20
even
8:21
means.
8:21
Me
8:21
either.
8:22
But
8:22
anyway.
8:24
Well,
8:24
when
8:24
he
8:24
talks
8:25
about
8:25
coaching,
8:25
he
8:25
says
8:26
you
8:26
should
8:26
focus
8:26
on
8:27
character
8:27
development
8:28
versus
8:28
winning.
8:30
Talk
8:30
to
8:30
your
8:31
kids.
8:32
What.
8:32
What
8:32
he
8:32
called
8:33
game
8:33
over
8:33
failures,
8:34
which
8:34
means
8:35
you
8:35
really
8:35
are
8:35
going
8:35
to
8:36
screw
8:36
up
8:36
your
8:36
life
8:36
if
8:36
you
8:37
do
8:37
this.
8:37
Pregnancy,
8:38
drug
8:38
abuse,
8:40
flunking
8:40
out
8:40
of
8:40
school.
8:42
And
8:43
he.
8:43
He
8:43
tells
8:44
you
8:44
to
8:46
help
8:46
your
8:46
kids
8:47
learn
8:47
from
8:47
their
8:47
mistakes.
8:48
Don't
8:48
totally
8:49
flip
8:49
out
8:49
when
8:50
they
8:50
do
8:50
the
8:51
wrong
8:51
thing.
8:51
Don't
8:51
flip
8:52
out.
8:52
Flip
8:53
in.
8:53
Flip
8:53
in.
8:54
That's
8:54
what
8:54
he
8:54
says.
8:54
I'm
8:55
sorry,
8:56
what
8:56
is
8:57
that?
8:57
Well,
8:58
I
8:58
think
8:58
that
8:59
that
8:59
means
8:59
instead
8:59
of
9:00
school,
9:00
like,
9:01
losing
9:01
it,
9:01
you
9:02
just,
9:02
you,
9:03
you
9:03
sort
9:03
of
9:03
go,
9:03
ooh,
9:04
this
9:04
is
9:04
an
9:04
opportunity
9:05
for
9:05
me
9:05
to
9:06
talk
9:06
to
9:06
my
9:06
child
9:06
about
9:07
something.
9:08
Flip
9:08
in.
9:08
Flip
9:09
in.
9:10
Now,
9:10
when
9:10
it
9:10
comes
9:10
to
9:11
coaching,
9:11
I
9:11
would
9:12
say
9:13
you
9:13
can
9:13
join
9:13
habit
9:14
coach
9:14
and
9:15
you
9:16
can
9:16
learn
9:17
through
9:17
habit
9:18
coach
9:18
to
9:19
coach
9:19
your
9:20
own
9:20
child
9:20
in.
9:21
In
9:21
their
9:21
coach
9:21
to
9:22
coach
9:22
your
9:22
own
9:22
child
9:23
program.
9:23
Yeah.
9:24
So
9:24
you
9:24
can
9:24
actually
9:25
take
9:26
a
9:26
little
9:26
course
9:27
in
9:28
how.
9:28
What.
9:28
What
9:29
it
9:29
means
9:29
to
9:29
coach
9:30
your
9:30
own
9:30
child
9:30
how
9:31
to
9:31
get
9:31
through
9:31
to.
9:32
As
9:32
an
9:33
authoritative
9:35
parent,
9:36
not
9:36
an
9:36
authoritarian
9:37
parent,
9:39
with
9:39
lots
9:39
of
9:40
examples
9:41
of
9:41
what
9:42
that
9:42
looks
9:42
like
9:43
when
9:43
you
9:44
are
9:44
coaching
9:45
your
9:45
own
9:45
child.
9:46
So
9:46
that's
9:46
actually
9:47
a
9:47
good
9:47
resource
9:48
for
9:48
parents
9:48
who
9:48
want
9:48
to
9:49
become
9:49
coaches
9:50
for.
9:50
Their
9:50
children
9:50
for
9:51
anything,
9:51
whether
9:52
it's
9:52
a
9:52
social
9:52
thing
9:53
or
9:54
a
9:54
literal
9:55
skill
9:56
that
9:56
they
9:56
need
9:56
to
9:56
survive
9:57
in
9:57
school.
9:58
Right,
9:58
right.
9:58
Yeah.
9:59
So
9:59
there's
9:59
lots
10:00
of
10:00
examples
10:00
of
10:01
how
10:01
parents
10:02
can
10:02
coach
10:02
their
10:02
own
10:03
K
10:04
and
10:04
avoid
10:05
the
10:05
kind
10:05
of
10:05
conflict
10:06
that
10:06
goes
10:06
with
10:06
being
10:07
a
10:07
teenager
10:08
in
10:08
that
10:08
program.
10:08
Yeah.
10:09
So
10:10
one
10:10
fact
10:10
that
10:10
I
10:11
thought
10:11
was
10:11
so
10:11
interesting
10:12
was
10:13
that
10:14
he
10:14
says,
10:15
and
10:15
I'm
10:16
not
10:16
sure
10:16
what
10:17
these
10:17
studies
10:17
are.
10:18
I
10:18
didn't.
10:18
Also
10:18
didn't
10:18
know
10:18
that
10:19
the
10:19
YMCA
10:19
was
10:20
like
10:20
performing
10:20
research
10:21
studies.
10:21
Oh,
10:21
I'm
10:22
sure
10:22
they
10:22
must
10:23
news
10:23
to
10:24
me.
10:24
Okay.
10:24
But
10:25
he
10:25
talks
10:26
about
10:26
how
10:26
dads,
10:27
I
10:27
think
10:28
up
10:28
until
10:28
a
10:28
child
10:28
is
10:29
9
10:29
years
10:29
old,
10:29
a
10:29
dad
10:30
will
10:30
spend
10:30
an
10:30
average
10:31
of
10:31
26
10:32
minutes
10:32
of
10:32
alone
10:33
time
10:33
a
10:33
day
10:34
with
10:34
their
10:34
child,
10:34
which
10:35
then
10:35
ultimately
10:35
drops
10:36
to
10:36
nine
10:37
minutes
10:37
once
10:38
they
10:38
are
10:38
a
10:39
teenager
10:39
and
10:40
older.
10:41
And
10:42
I'm
10:42
thinking
10:43
like,
10:43
A,
10:43
is
10:43
that
10:44
true?
10:44
And
10:44
B,
10:45
as
10:46
a
10:46
mom,
10:46
I'm
10:46
with
10:46
my
10:47
kid
10:47
24
10:47
7.
10:48
Well,
10:48
you've
10:48
got
10:48
a
10:49
very
10:49
young
10:49
child.
10:49
I
10:50
have
10:50
a
10:50
very
10:50
young
10:50
child,
10:50
and
10:51
she
10:51
would
10:51
not
10:51
survive
10:52
if
10:52
I
10:52
weren't
10:53
constantly
10:53
hovering
10:54
over
10:55
her.
10:56
But
10:57
I
10:57
just.
10:58
That's
10:58
so
10:59
heartbreaking.
10:59
Well,
11:00
that
11:00
was
11:00
interesting
11:01
because
11:01
they
11:01
also
11:01
said
11:02
that
11:02
moms.
11:03
He
11:03
also
11:03
said
11:03
moms.
11:04
Moms
11:04
are
11:04
with
11:04
their
11:05
children
11:06
when
11:06
they're
11:06
under
11:07
12,
11:07
an
11:07
average
11:08
of
11:08
31
11:09
minutes
11:09
a
11:09
day
11:10
and
11:10
11
11:11
minutes
11:11
when
11:12
they
11:12
become
11:12
teenagers.
11:13
Now,
11:13
I
11:13
can't
11:14
believe
11:14
that.
11:15
In
11:15
what
11:15
world?
11:16
I
11:16
don't
11:17
know.
11:17
I
11:17
felt
11:18
like
11:18
I
11:18
was
11:18
with
11:18
you
11:18
guys
11:19
much
11:19
more
11:19
than
11:20
that.
11:20
Yeah.
11:21
But
11:21
the
11:21
point
11:21
he's
11:22
making,
11:22
I
11:22
think,
11:22
is
11:23
that
11:24
spend
11:24
more
11:24
time
11:24
with
11:24
your
11:24
child.
11:24
Spend
11:25
more
11:25
time
11:25
with
11:25
your
11:25
child.
11:26
That's
11:26
really.
11:26
That
11:26
I
11:26
agree
11:27
with.
11:27
Yeah,
11:27
it's
11:28
like,
11:28
spend
11:28
more
11:29
time,
11:29
Be
11:29
intentional
11:30
about
11:30
it.
11:32
Even
11:32
if
11:32
they
11:32
act
11:32
like
11:33
they
11:33
don't
11:33
want
11:33
to
11:33
be
11:34
with
11:34
you
11:34
and
11:34
they
11:34
want
11:35
to
11:35
push
11:35
you
11:35
away.
11:37
Force
11:37
that.
11:38
Force
11:38
it.
11:39
Try
11:39
to
11:40
be
11:40
in
11:40
their
11:40
life.
11:41
It
11:41
works
11:41
really
11:41
well
11:42
when
11:43
you
11:43
demand
11:44
that
11:44
they
11:44
hang
11:44
out
11:44
with
11:45
you.
11:45
Right.
11:45
No,
11:46
it
11:46
doesn't.
11:46
So
11:47
try
11:47
and
11:47
incept
11:48
them.
11:48
That's
11:48
a
11:49
more
11:49
effective
11:49
method.
11:50
To
11:50
do
11:50
what?
11:50
Incept
11:51
them.
11:51
Like
11:51
in
11:51
inception,
11:52
the
11:52
Leonardo
11:52
DiCaprio
11:53
masterpiece.
11:54
How
11:54
did
11:54
he.
11:54
What
11:55
do
11:55
you
11:55
mean?
11:55
How
11:55
do
11:55
you.
11:55
Inception.
11:56
So
11:56
the
11:56
way
11:56
Inception
11:57
works
11:57
is
11:57
it's
11:57
a
11:57
dream
11:58
within
11:58
a
11:58
dream.
11:59
So
12:00
you
12:00
basically
12:00
have
12:00
to
12:00
trick
12:01
people
12:01
into
12:02
thinking
12:02
that
12:03
what
12:04
you're
12:04
doing
12:04
is
12:05
their
12:05
idea.
12:06
Inception.
12:07
Oh,
12:07
okay.
12:07
Got
12:08
it.
12:08
So
12:08
get
12:08
them
12:09
to
12:09
think,
12:09
like,
12:10
if
12:10
they
12:10
want
12:10
to
12:10
go
12:10
shopping,
12:11
your
12:11
daughter
12:12
wants
12:12
to
12:12
go
12:12
shopping.
12:13
That's
12:13
a
12:13
good
12:13
opportunity
12:14
maybe
12:14
for
12:15
you
12:15
to
12:15
say,
12:15
oh,
12:16
sure,
12:16
I'll
12:16
take
12:16
you.
12:16
We'll
12:17
go
12:17
together.
12:17
Yeah,
12:18
Casual.
12:18
I'll
12:18
take
12:18
you.
12:19
Sure.
12:21
No,
12:21
don't
12:21
go
12:21
to
12:21
the
12:22
mall
12:22
by
12:22
yourself.
12:22
Go
12:22
with
12:23
me
12:23
because
12:23
I've
12:23
got
12:24
the
12:24
credit
12:24
card.
12:24
So.
12:25
Yeah,
12:25
bribery
12:26
also
12:26
works.
12:26
That
12:27
does.
12:27
Well.
12:27
Yeah.
12:28
No,
12:29
that
12:29
was
12:29
kind
12:29
of
12:29
interesting.
12:30
I
12:30
was
12:31
surprised
12:31
about
12:31
that.
12:32
He
12:32
talks
12:33
about
12:33
traps
12:34
that
12:34
parents
12:34
need
12:35
to
12:35
avoid,
12:35
one
12:36
being
12:36
the
12:36
comfort
12:37
trap,
12:38
which
12:38
is
12:39
sometimes
12:39
kids
12:40
problems
12:40
just
12:40
seem
12:41
so
12:41
overwhelming
12:42
that
12:42
we
12:42
feel
12:44
I'm
12:44
just
12:44
completely
12:45
not
12:45
equipped
12:46
to
12:46
deal
12:46
with
12:46
this.
12:47
So
12:47
you
12:47
don't.
12:48
But
12:48
don't
12:49
do
12:49
that.
12:50
The
12:50
approval
12:50
trap,
12:51
which
12:51
means
12:52
parents
12:52
who
12:53
feel
12:53
they
12:53
need
12:53
to
12:53
be
12:53
liked
12:54
by
12:54
their
12:54
kids.
12:55
Be
12:55
a
12:55
cool
12:55
mom.
12:56
Right.
12:57
The
12:57
control
12:58
trap,
12:59
which
12:59
is
12:59
the
12:59
parent
13:00
who's
13:00
constantly
13:00
trying
13:01
to
13:01
solve
13:01
problems
13:02
for
13:02
their
13:02
kids.
13:03
You
13:03
are
13:03
not
13:04
doing
13:04
your
13:04
child
13:04
any
13:05
favors
13:05
if
13:05
you
13:05
solve
13:06
all
13:06
their
13:06
problems.
13:07
Not
13:07
good.
13:08
And
13:08
then
13:08
the
13:08
performance
13:09
trap,
13:09
which
13:09
we
13:10
see
13:10
a
13:10
lot
13:10
too,
13:10
which
13:11
is
13:11
parents
13:11
who
13:11
are
13:12
putting
13:12
so
13:12
much
13:12
pressure
13:13
on
13:13
their
13:13
kids
13:13
to
13:14
make
13:15
the
13:15
top
13:15
grades
13:16
or
13:16
be
13:16
the
13:17
best
13:17
in
13:17
their
13:18
class
13:18
or
13:19
perform
13:20
all
13:20
the
13:20
time,
13:20
get
13:21
into
13:21
the
13:21
best
13:21
schools.
13:23
That
13:23
puts
13:23
a
13:23
lot
13:23
of
13:24
pressure
13:24
on
13:24
kids,
13:25
and
13:25
that's
13:25
not
13:25
good
13:26
for
13:26
them.
13:26
Yeah.
13:26
I
13:27
feel
13:27
like
13:27
you
13:27
were
13:27
probably
13:27
the
13:28
only
13:28
parent
13:29
who.
13:29
When
13:29
I
13:29
was
13:29
like,
13:29
you
13:30
know,
13:30
guys,
13:30
I
13:31
don't
13:31
want
13:31
to
13:31
go
13:31
to
13:31
college.
13:32
You
13:32
guys
13:32
were
13:32
actually
13:33
thrilled.
13:34
Well,
13:34
yeah,
13:34
I
13:35
was.
13:35
I.
13:36
At
13:36
first
13:36
I
13:37
thought,
13:37
you
13:38
should
13:38
take
13:38
the
13:38
SAT
13:39
and
13:39
you
13:39
should
13:39
go
13:39
to
13:40
college
13:40
because
13:40
that's
13:41
what
13:41
kids
13:41
do.
13:41
And
13:41
then
13:41
I
13:42
did
13:42
take
13:42
the
13:42
SAT
13:42
and
13:43
my
13:43
scores
13:44
were
13:44
abysmal.
13:45
Oh.
13:46
You
13:46
know,
13:46
I
13:46
think
13:46
I
13:47
blacked
13:47
that
13:47
out.
13:47
That
13:48
you
13:48
took
13:48
it
13:48
for
13:49
the
13:49
best.
13:49
Yeah.
13:50
I
13:50
mean,
13:50
you
13:50
struggled
13:51
in
13:51
school
13:51
and.
13:53
Yeah.
13:54
But
13:55
when
13:55
you
13:56
said,
13:57
maybe
13:57
I
13:57
shouldn't
13:58
go
13:58
to
13:58
college.
13:58
And
13:59
we
13:59
decided.
14:00
But,
14:00
you
14:01
know,
14:01
we
14:01
thought
14:01
about
14:02
what
14:02
you
14:02
were
14:02
really
14:02
good
14:03
at,
14:03
which
14:03
was
14:04
you
14:04
love
14:04
to
14:04
act,
14:05
you
14:05
love
14:05
to
14:05
perform.
14:06
And
14:07
then
14:07
we
14:07
talked
14:07
about,
14:07
well,
14:08
what
14:08
about
14:08
going
14:08
to,
14:10
you
14:10
know,
14:10
conservatory.
14:11
Conservatory
14:12
and
14:12
learning
14:12
to
14:13
act.
14:13
And
14:14
that
14:14
just
14:14
seemed
14:15
like
14:15
such
14:15
a
14:15
better
14:16
fit
14:16
for
14:16
who
14:16
you
14:17
are
14:17
as
14:17
a
14:17
person.
14:18
And
14:18
it
14:19
also,
14:19
I
14:19
think,
14:20
gave
14:20
me
14:20
a
14:21
chance
14:21
to
14:21
be
14:21
around
14:21
a
14:21
bunch
14:22
of
14:22
adults
14:22
who
14:22
took
14:23
something
14:23
really
14:23
seriously
14:24
that
14:24
I
14:24
enjoyed.
14:25
And
14:25
I
14:25
realized
14:26
very
14:26
quickly
14:27
that
14:27
if
14:27
I
14:27
wanted
14:28
to
14:28
be
14:28
respected
14:28
in
14:29
this
14:29
environment,
14:29
it
14:29
didn't
14:30
really
14:30
matter
14:30
how
14:30
old
14:30
I
14:31
was,
14:31
I
14:31
still
14:31
had
14:31
to
14:32
show
14:32
up
14:32
and
14:32
put
14:33
in
14:33
the
14:33
same
14:33
amount
14:34
of
14:34
work.
14:34
It
14:35
was
14:35
like
14:35
the
14:35
circus
14:35
where
14:36
it's
14:36
like,
14:36
we
14:36
don't
14:37
care
14:37
that
14:37
you're
14:38
13.
14:39
You
14:39
still
14:39
have
14:40
to
14:40
condition
14:40
with
14:41
everybody,
14:41
and
14:41
you
14:42
are
14:42
still
14:42
expected
14:42
to
14:43
fly
14:43
through
14:43
the
14:43
air
14:44
like
14:44
a
14:44
Wallenda.
14:45
And
14:45
if
14:45
you
14:45
can't
14:46
do
14:46
that,
14:46
you
14:46
cannot
14:47
be
14:47
in
14:47
the
14:47
circus.
14:48
Right,
14:48
right.
14:48
Yeah,
14:49
that's
14:49
right.
14:49
No,
14:50
I
14:50
mean,
14:50
that
14:50
was.
14:50
It
14:51
was
14:51
so
14:51
good
14:51
for
14:51
you
14:52
actually
14:52
to
14:52
go
14:52
to
14:53
the
14:53
conservatory.
14:54
But
14:54
I
14:55
remember
14:56
I
14:56
felt
14:56
like
14:56
a
14:56
lot
14:56
of
14:57
parents
14:57
kind
14:57
of
14:57
judged
14:58
us
14:58
because
14:59
it's
14:59
like,
15:00
you
15:00
mean
15:00
she's
15:00
not
15:00
going
15:01
to
15:01
college?
15:02
Like,
15:03
why
15:03
not?
15:03
But
15:04
even
15:04
your
15:04
grandmother,
15:05
who
15:05
was
15:06
all
15:06
about
15:06
education,
15:07
she
15:08
thought
15:08
it
15:08
was
15:08
the
15:08
right
15:09
move,
15:09
too.
15:09
So
15:10
college
15:11
is
15:11
not
15:11
for
15:11
every
15:12
kid.
15:12
It's
15:12
not.
15:13
And
15:13
it's
15:13
so
15:13
expensive
15:14
that
15:14
frankly,
15:14
there
15:15
are
15:15
so
15:15
many
15:15
people
15:15
I
15:16
can
15:16
think
15:16
of
15:16
who,
15:16
like,
15:17
it
15:17
was
15:17
a
15:17
bad
15:17
economic
15:18
choice.
15:18
Right,
15:19
right.
15:20
Well,
15:20
one
15:20
thing
15:21
you'll
15:21
find
15:21
when
15:21
you
15:22
read
15:22
this
15:22
book
15:23
is
15:23
that
15:24
he
15:24
really
15:24
goes
15:25
into
15:25
lots
15:26
of
15:26
examples
15:27
of
15:28
issues
15:28
that
15:28
kids
15:29
have
15:29
that
15:29
are
15:30
pretty
15:30
ble.
15:32
Very
15:32
bleak.
15:32
Very
15:33
bleak.
15:33
Like,
15:33
you
15:33
know,
15:34
skipping
15:34
school,
15:35
drinking.
15:36
Drinking
15:36
and
15:36
driving.
15:37
Having
15:38
sex
15:38
with
15:38
older
15:39
people,
15:40
if
15:40
you're
15:40
young.
15:41
Stealing,
15:42
Getting
15:42
involved
15:42
in
15:43
gangs.
15:44
Getting
15:45
involved
15:45
in
15:45
gangs.
15:45
Well,
15:46
no,
15:46
but
15:46
people.
15:46
No,
15:46
I
15:47
know.
15:47
It's.
15:47
Kids
15:47
do.
15:48
Lying.
15:49
Yes.
15:49
And
15:50
so
15:51
the
15:51
way
15:51
I
15:51
look
15:51
at
15:51
this
15:52
book,
15:54
the
15:54
Grown
15:55
Up
15:55
Guide
15:55
to
15:56
Teenage
15:56
Humans,
15:57
the
15:57
way
15:58
I
15:58
look
15:58
at
15:58
it
15:58
is,
15:59
it's
15:59
just.
15:59
It's
16:00
a
16:00
good
16:00
resource
16:01
book.
16:01
Like,
16:01
if
16:02
you're
16:02
dealing
16:03
with
16:04
an
16:04
out
16:04
of
16:04
control
16:05
teen
16:06
or
16:06
a
16:06
teen
16:06
you
16:06
don't
16:07
understand.
16:08
And
16:09
I
16:09
remember,
16:09
you
16:10
know,
16:10
not
16:10
so
16:10
much
16:11
with
16:11
you,
16:11
but,
16:12
you
16:12
know,
16:12
your
16:12
brother
16:13
was
16:13
harder.
16:14
He
16:14
was
16:14
much
16:15
harder
16:15
during
16:15
the
16:15
teenage
16:16
years.
16:16
And
16:17
I
16:17
can
16:17
remember
16:17
just
16:18
feeling
16:18
like
16:19
so
16:19
out
16:20
of
16:20
my
16:20
element,
16:20
like,
16:21
how
16:21
do
16:22
I
16:22
help
16:22
this
16:22
child?
16:23
How
16:23
do
16:23
I
16:23
get
16:24
through
16:24
to
16:24
him?
16:25
I
16:26
had
16:26
no
16:26
idea.
16:27
And
16:27
I
16:28
think
16:28
reading
16:28
a
16:28
book
16:29
like
16:29
this
16:29
would
16:29
have
16:30
been
16:30
helpful
16:30
to
16:30
me.
16:31
It
16:31
would
16:31
have
16:32
given
16:32
me
16:32
ideas.
16:32
I'll
16:33
put
16:33
it
16:33
that
16:33
way
16:33
of
16:34
how
16:34
I
16:35
might
16:35
approach
16:35
some
16:36
things.
16:37
I
16:37
don't
16:37
like
16:37
all
16:37
of
16:38
his
16:38
solutions,
16:38
but
16:40
it
16:40
would
16:40
have
16:40
given
16:41
me
16:41
some
16:41
good
16:41
ideas.
16:42
Yeah,
16:42
there
16:42
were
16:42
definitely
16:43
parts
16:43
of
16:44
the
16:44
book
16:44
that
16:44
I
16:44
read,
16:45
especially
16:45
when
16:46
he
16:46
was
16:46
talking
16:46
about
16:46
how
16:47
drug
16:47
addiction
16:47
occurs,
16:48
where
16:48
he
16:48
was
16:48
like,
16:49
does
16:49
your
16:49
child
16:50
have
16:50
adhd?
16:51
Medication
16:51
might
16:52
not
16:52
be
16:52
the
16:52
only
16:52
answer.
16:53
At
16:53
habit
16:54
Coach,
16:54
our
16:54
coaches
16:55
work
16:55
one
16:55
on
16:55
one
16:55
to
16:56
help
16:56
kids
16:56
stop
16:56
procrastinating,
16:58
manage
16:58
their
16:58
time,
16:59
control
16:59
distractions,
17:00
get
17:00
organized,
17:01
learn
17:01
to
17:01
plan,
17:02
build
17:02
study
17:02
skills,
17:03
stop
17:03
losing
17:04
things,
17:04
limit
17:05
screen
17:05
time,
17:05
and
17:06
handle
17:06
their
17:06
emotions
17:07
with
17:07
more
17:07
control.
17:08
We
17:08
do
17:08
this
17:08
by
17:09
helping
17:09
kids
17:09
build
17:09
new
17:10
habits
17:10
that
17:10
take
17:11
the
17:11
place
17:11
of
17:11
old
17:11
counterproductive
17:12
behavior
17:13
patterns.
17:14
Research
17:14
shows
17:14
that
17:15
coaching
17:15
kids
17:15
really
17:16
works.
17:16
And
17:16
the
17:17
habit
17:17
coach
17:17
system
17:17
of
17:18
weekly
17:18
coaching,
17:18
check
17:19
ins
17:19
and
17:19
parent
17:20
meetings
17:20
is
17:20
the
17:20
most
17:21
effective
17:21
model
17:21
out
17:22
there.
17:22
You
17:22
can
17:23
get
17:23
started
17:23
for
17:23
less
17:23
than
17:24
$10
17:24
a
17:24
month.
17:25
Don't
17:25
go
17:25
another
17:26
day
17:26
without
17:26
help
17:26
help.
17:27
The
17:27
longer
17:27
you
17:28
wait,
17:28
the
17:28
tougher
17:28
those
17:29
old
17:29
negative
17:29
habits
17:30
take
17:30
to
17:30
fix.
17:31
Start
17:31
now@habitcoach.com
17:33
There
17:33
were
17:34
definitely
17:34
parts
17:35
of
17:35
the
17:35
book
17:35
that
17:36
I
17:36
read,
17:36
especially
17:37
when
17:37
he
17:37
was
17:37
talking
17:37
about
17:38
how
17:38
drug
17:38
addiction
17:38
occurs,
17:39
where
17:39
he
17:39
was
17:39
like,
17:40
one
17:40
day
17:41
your
17:41
child
17:42
opens
17:42
a
17:42
medicine
17:43
cabinet
17:44
and
17:44
three
17:44
days
17:45
later
17:45
they're
17:45
shooting
17:46
up
17:46
black
17:46
tar
17:47
heroin.
17:47
And
17:48
I
17:48
was
17:48
like,
17:48
this
17:48
is
17:48
a
17:49
little
17:49
sensational.
17:50
Well,
17:50
it
17:50
gives
17:50
you
17:51
the
17:51
steps
17:51
in
17:51
between.
17:52
Yeah.
17:52
Which
17:52
are
17:52
like,
17:54
there
17:55
just
17:55
aren't
17:55
very
17:55
many
17:56
steps
17:56
from
17:56
opening
17:57
a
17:57
medicine
17:58
cabinet
17:58
to
17:58
a
17:58
heroin
17:59
addiction,
17:59
which
17:59
again,
18:00
I'm
18:00
sure
18:00
happens.
18:01
But
18:01
I
18:02
mean,
18:02
I
18:02
don't
18:02
know,
18:02
I
18:02
smoked
18:03
weed
18:03
in
18:03
high
18:03
school
18:03
and,
18:05
you
18:05
know,
18:05
never
18:05
really
18:06
went
18:06
much
18:06
further
18:06
than
18:06
that.
18:07
Thank
18:07
God.
18:08
I
18:08
mean,
18:08
I'm
18:08
glad.
18:09
But,
18:09
you
18:09
know,
18:10
I
18:10
was
18:10
lucky
18:10
that,
18:11
yeah,
18:11
you
18:12
know,
18:12
kids.
18:12
Well,
18:12
also
18:12
drugs
18:13
are
18:13
expensive
18:14
and
18:14
I
18:14
was
18:14
broke,
18:15
so
18:15
there
18:15
was
18:15
that
18:16
barrier
18:16
to
18:16
entry
18:16
to
18:17
contend
18:17
with.
18:17
Good.
18:18
Okay.
18:18
Very
18:19
good,
18:19
very
18:19
good.
18:20
Oh,
18:20
my
18:20
God.
18:20
I
18:21
want
18:21
to
18:21
hear
18:21
about.
18:22
Yeah,
18:23
that's
18:23
true.
18:23
Well,
18:24
by
18:24
the
18:24
way,
18:24
he
18:25
takes
18:25
you
18:26
through
18:26
the
18:27
different
18:27
phases
18:27
of
18:28
being
18:28
a
18:28
teenager
18:29
and
18:29
he
18:29
talks
18:30
about
18:30
how
18:30
if
18:31
you
18:31
understand
18:33
some
18:33
of
18:34
the
18:34
different
18:34
phases
18:35
that
18:35
kids
18:35
go
18:36
through
18:36
at
18:36
different
18:36
ages,
18:38
you
18:39
can
18:39
kind
18:39
of
18:40
diagnose
18:41
where
18:41
your
18:41
child
18:41
is
18:42
and
18:43
what's
18:43
motivating
18:44
them
18:44
to
18:44
behave
18:45
the
18:45
way
18:45
they
18:45
are.
18:46
So
18:46
he
18:46
says,
18:47
like
18:47
at
18:47
11
18:47
to
18:48
12,
18:48
you're
18:49
in
18:49
the
18:49
who
18:49
likes
18:50
me
18:50
phase.
18:51
12
18:52
to
18:52
14,
18:53
it's
18:53
who
18:53
am
18:53
I?
18:54
Phase
18:55
14
18:56
to
18:56
15,
18:57
where
18:57
do
18:57
I
18:57
belong?
18:58
15
18:58
to
18:58
16,
18:59
why
18:59
can't
19:00
I?
19:01
16
19:02
to
19:02
17,
19:02
how
19:03
can
19:03
I
19:03
matter
19:03
in
19:04
the
19:04
world?
19:04
I
19:04
don't
19:05
remember
19:05
that.
19:05
Phase
19:06
17
19:06
to
19:07
18,
19:07
you
19:07
don't
19:08
remember.
19:08
It
19:08
on
19:08
my
19:08
behalf
19:09
or
19:09
on
19:09
your.
19:10
Behalf
19:10
on
19:11
either
19:11
my
19:11
children.
19:12
Like,
19:12
how
19:13
do
19:13
I
19:13
matter
19:14
in
19:14
the
19:14
world.
19:14
We
19:14
don't
19:15
care
19:15
about
19:15
mattering
19:15
in
19:15
the
19:16
world.
19:16
Well,
19:16
I
19:16
don't
19:16
remember
19:17
you
19:17
telling
19:18
for
19:18
yourself.
19:19
Did
19:19
you
19:19
worry
19:20
about
19:20
that?
19:20
I
19:21
didn't.
19:21
I
19:21
was
19:21
gonna
19:21
say,
19:22
okay,
19:22
and
19:23
17
19:23
to
19:24
18,
19:24
what
19:24
am
19:24
I
19:24
gonna
19:25
do
19:25
after
19:25
high
19:25
school?
19:26
So
19:26
he
19:26
talks
19:27
about
19:27
these
19:27
are
19:27
different
19:27
phases
19:28
kids
19:28
go
19:28
through.
19:29
And
19:29
he
19:29
gives
19:29
you
19:31
actually
19:33
things
19:33
you
19:33
can
19:33
do
19:34
with
19:34
your
19:34
child
19:35
or
19:35
for
19:35
your
19:35
child
19:36
at
19:36
each
19:36
phase.
19:37
So
19:37
if
19:37
you
19:37
can
19:38
figure
19:38
out
19:38
where
19:39
they
19:39
are,
19:40
like,
19:40
let's
19:41
say
19:41
they're
19:41
17,
19:41
18,
19:42
and
19:42
they're
19:42
in
19:43
the
19:43
what
19:43
will
19:43
I
19:43
do
19:43
phase.
19:44
He
19:44
says
19:45
don't
19:45
bail
19:45
them
19:46
out
19:46
at
19:46
this
19:46
point.
19:47
Prep
19:47
them
19:47
for
19:48
independence.
19:49
I
19:49
would
19:49
argue
19:49
you
19:50
probably
19:50
should
19:50
start
19:50
that
19:51
earlier
19:51
myself,
19:53
but
19:53
that's
19:53
okay.
19:54
I
19:54
mean,
19:54
things.
19:56
Why
19:56
can't
19:56
I?
19:57
Phase
19:57
where
19:58
they
19:58
want
19:58
more
19:58
freedom.
19:59
Lean
20:00
into
20:00
them
20:00
even
20:01
as
20:01
they
20:01
try
20:01
to
20:02
push
20:02
you
20:02
away.
20:03
So
20:03
it's
20:03
like,
20:03
figure
20:04
out
20:04
where
20:04
your
20:04
child's
20:05
mind
20:05
is,
20:05
and
20:06
then
20:06
you
20:06
can
20:06
figure
20:06
out
20:07
how
20:07
to
20:07
help
20:07
them.
20:07
Yeah.
20:08
So
20:09
that's
20:09
another
20:10
part
20:10
of
20:10
the
20:10
book.
20:11
I
20:11
liked
20:12
that.
20:12
That's
20:13
an
20:13
interesting.
20:14
An
20:14
interesting
20:14
part,
20:15
yes.
20:16
Then
20:16
we
20:16
get
20:17
to
20:17
part
20:17
three,
20:18
which
20:18
is
20:18
troubleshooting
20:19
common
20:19
teenage
20:20
challenges,
20:21
which
20:21
are
20:22
anything
20:22
from
20:22
getting
20:22
teens
20:23
to
20:23
take
20:23
ownership
20:24
and
20:24
apologizing.
20:26
What
20:27
do
20:27
you
20:27
do
20:28
when
20:28
they
20:28
betray
20:29
your
20:29
trust?
20:30
You
20:30
know,
20:30
obviously
20:31
we
20:31
want
20:31
to
20:32
stand
20:32
on
20:32
business
20:33
and
20:33
when
20:33
we
20:34
make
20:34
a
20:34
rule,
20:35
have
20:35
there
20:35
be
20:35
consequences,
20:36
but
20:36
you
20:36
sort
20:37
of
20:38
proportionality
20:38
becomes
20:39
a
20:39
thing
20:39
where
20:40
it's
20:40
like,
20:40
okay,
20:41
they
20:41
broke
20:41
curfew.
20:42
Do
20:43
you
20:43
not
20:43
let
20:43
them
20:43
out
20:43
of
20:44
the
20:44
house
20:44
again
20:44
until
20:45
they're
20:45
21,
20:47
you
20:47
know?
20:47
Or
20:48
what
20:49
did
20:49
you
20:49
do
20:49
when
20:49
I
20:49
broke
20:50
curfew?
20:51
Well,
20:53
I
20:53
remember.
20:56
I
20:56
wish
20:56
I'd
20:56
read
20:56
this
20:57
book.
20:57
Honestly.
20:58
I
20:58
probably
20:58
would
20:59
have
20:59
handled
20:59
it
20:59
better.
20:59
I
21:00
feel
21:00
like
21:00
you
21:00
went
21:00
to
21:00
sleep
21:00
really
21:01
early.
21:01
So,
21:01
like,
21:01
did
21:02
you
21:02
even
21:02
know
21:02
that.
21:03
I
21:03
broke
21:03
from
21:03
you?
21:04
I
21:04
don't
21:05
know.
21:05
I
21:05
guess
21:05
I
21:05
didn't
21:06
always
21:06
know.
21:06
That's
21:07
true.
21:08
Although
21:09
I
21:09
do
21:09
remember
21:10
a
21:10
time
21:11
when
21:11
you
21:11
came
21:12
to
21:12
visit
21:12
me
21:12
when
21:13
I
21:13
was
21:13
in.
21:14
You
21:14
were
21:14
living
21:14
on
21:15
your
21:15
own
21:15
at
21:15
this
21:15
point.
21:16
You
21:16
were
21:17
already
21:17
in
21:17
school
21:17
and
21:18
I
21:18
was
21:18
in
21:18
Miami
21:19
at
21:19
the
21:19
time.
21:19
We
21:19
were
21:19
in
21:20
Miami
21:20
and
21:20
you
21:20
came
21:20
to
21:21
visit,
21:21
but
21:21
then
21:21
you
21:21
went
21:21
out
21:22
with
21:22
your
21:22
friends
21:23
and
21:23
you
21:24
spent
21:24
the
21:24
night
21:24
with
21:24
your
21:25
friends
21:25
and
21:25
you
21:26
didn't
21:26
call
21:26
me.
21:27
And
21:27
I
21:28
woke
21:28
up
21:28
and
21:28
you
21:28
weren't
21:29
there
21:29
and
21:30
I
21:30
was
21:31
hysterical.
21:32
Yeah.
21:32
And
21:33
when
21:33
I
21:33
finally
21:33
got
21:34
in
21:34
touch
21:34
with
21:34
you
21:34
and
21:35
you
21:35
were
21:35
okay,
21:36
I
21:36
yelled
21:37
so
21:37
much.
21:38
Which
21:38
I
21:38
never
21:38
yelled
21:39
at
21:39
you
21:39
as
21:39
a
21:39
child,
21:40
I
21:40
don't
21:40
think.
21:40
No,
21:40
you
21:40
didn't.
21:41
But
21:41
I
21:41
did.
21:41
Do
21:42
you
21:42
remember
21:42
that
21:42
time?
21:42
Yeah,
21:43
I
21:43
do.
21:43
Which
21:43
was
21:43
so
21:43
weird
21:44
because
21:44
I
21:44
was
21:44
already
21:44
an
21:45
adult
21:45
living
21:45
on
21:46
my
21:46
own.
21:47
So
21:47
I
21:47
was
21:47
like,
21:48
what
21:48
do
21:48
you
21:48
care
21:48
where
21:48
I
21:48
am?
21:48
You
21:49
don't
21:49
care.
21:49
You
21:49
don't
21:49
know
21:49
where
21:49
I
21:50
am
21:50
most
21:50
nights
21:51
of
21:51
my
21:51
life.
21:52
But
21:52
I
21:52
was
21:52
trying
21:52
to
21:53
help
21:53
you
21:53
understand
21:54
that
21:54
when
21:54
you
21:54
were
21:54
in
21:55
my
21:55
home
21:56
and
21:57
you
21:57
went
21:57
out
21:57
and
21:58
never
21:58
came
21:58
home,
21:59
I
21:59
thought
22:00
something
22:00
terrible
22:01
must
22:01
have
22:01
happened
22:01
to
22:01
you.
22:02
So
22:02
that's
22:02
how
22:02
I
22:03
feel
22:03
about
22:03
you
22:03
when
22:03
you're
22:04
here
22:04
and
22:04
I
22:04
can't
22:05
find
22:05
you.
22:05
I
22:06
know.
22:06
I
22:06
know.
22:06
But
22:06
you're
22:07
not
22:07
my
22:07
child.
22:07
I
22:07
know.
22:08
Well,
22:08
now
22:08
that
22:09
we're
22:09
both
22:09
adults,
22:10
it's
22:10
like
22:10
we
22:10
look
22:10
after
22:11
each
22:11
other.
22:11
Yeah.
22:12
And
22:12
you
22:12
understand
22:13
now?
22:13
I
22:13
totally
22:14
understand
22:14
that
22:15
at
22:15
this.
22:15
But
22:16
kids
22:16
just
22:16
don't
22:17
understand
22:17
those
22:17
things.
22:18
That's
22:18
the
22:18
problem
22:18
with
22:19
teenagers.
22:19
They
22:20
just
22:20
don't
22:21
understand.
22:22
They
22:22
just
22:22
don't
22:22
understand.
22:24
And,
22:24
you
22:25
know.
22:25
So
22:26
that's
22:26
when
22:26
I
22:27
really
22:27
did
22:27
lose
22:27
it.
22:27
At
22:28
that
22:28
point,
22:28
I
22:28
did
22:29
not
22:29
handle
22:29
that
22:29
very
22:29
well.
22:30
Yeah.
22:31
Another
22:31
big
22:32
one
22:32
is
22:32
having
22:33
difficult
22:33
conversations,
22:36
like
22:36
the
22:36
sex
22:36
talk
22:37
or
22:37
teaching
22:37
them
22:38
about
22:38
death,
22:39
which
22:39
I
22:39
think
22:39
teenagers
22:40
pretty
22:40
much
22:40
understand.
22:41
That's
22:41
a
22:41
conversation
22:41
for
22:42
younger
22:42
kids
22:42
that's
22:43
more
22:43
complex.
22:43
But,
22:44
like,
22:44
I
22:44
don't
22:44
remember
22:45
you
22:45
ever
22:45
giving
22:45
me
22:45
the
22:46
sex
22:46
talk.
22:46
I
22:46
don't
22:46
even
22:46
know
22:47
where
22:47
I
22:47
learned
22:47
about
22:48
sex.
22:48
I
22:49
have
22:49
no
22:49
idea.
22:49
Probably
22:50
at
22:50
school.
22:51
I
22:51
think
22:51
we
22:51
had
22:52
a
22:52
book
22:52
about
22:53
sex
22:54
that
22:54
I
22:54
might
22:54
have
22:54
read
22:55
to
22:55
you
22:55
when
22:55
you
22:55
were
22:55
really
22:56
young.
22:56
Maybe.
22:57
I
22:57
don't
22:57
know.
22:57
I
22:58
don't
22:58
know.
22:58
I
22:58
mean,
22:58
it's
22:59
all
22:59
so
22:59
weird.
22:59
It
23:00
is.
23:00
Yeah.
23:00
It
23:01
is
23:01
kind
23:01
of
23:01
strange.
23:02
Yeah.
23:04
I
23:04
don't
23:04
remember.
23:06
Nobody
23:07
ever
23:07
had
23:07
the
23:07
sex
23:07
talk
23:08
with
23:08
me.
23:09
You
23:09
only
23:10
knew
23:10
about
23:10
it
23:10
because
23:10
your
23:10
parents
23:11
would
23:11
take
23:11
naps
23:12
on
23:12
Sunday.
23:13
That's
23:13
true.
23:14
Well,
23:14
I
23:14
didn't
23:15
figure
23:15
that
23:15
out
23:15
for
23:16
quite
23:16
a
23:16
long
23:16
time.
23:17
My
23:17
parents
23:17
took.
23:17
Took
23:18
quote,
23:18
unquote
23:19
naps
23:19
every
23:19
Sunday.
23:22
And
23:23
they
23:23
would.
23:24
We
23:25
couldn't
23:25
bother
23:25
them.
23:26
We
23:26
could
23:26
not
23:26
bother
23:27
them
23:27
when
23:27
they
23:27
were
23:27
having
23:28
a
23:28
nap.
23:28
And,
23:29
yeah,
23:29
they
23:29
locked
23:30
the
23:30
door.
23:30
And
23:31
I
23:31
remember
23:31
we
23:31
were
23:32
little
23:32
kids,
23:33
and
23:34
one
23:34
day,
23:34
our
23:34
house.
23:35
I
23:35
remember
23:35
our
23:35
house
23:35
was
23:36
for
23:36
sale
23:37
and
23:38
some
23:39
people
23:40
drove
23:40
by
23:40
and
23:40
they
23:41
wanted
23:41
to
23:41
see
23:41
it.
23:41
And
23:42
we
23:42
said,
23:42
well,
23:42
our
23:43
parents
23:43
are
23:43
busy
23:43
now.
23:44
They're
23:44
napping,
23:44
but
23:44
we
23:45
can
23:45
certainly
23:45
show
23:45
you
23:46
the
23:46
house.
23:46
And
23:47
we
23:47
invited
23:47
these
23:48
strangers
23:48
into
23:48
our
23:49
home.
23:49
We
23:49
were
23:50
just
23:50
like
23:50
8
23:51
and
23:51
10
23:51
or
23:51
something
23:52
like
23:52
that.
23:52
And
23:53
we
23:53
showed
23:53
them
23:53
the
23:53
whole
23:54
house.
23:54
And
23:55
just
23:55
as
23:55
we
23:55
were
23:55
showing
23:56
them
23:56
the
23:56
locked
23:56
closet
23:57
where
23:57
we
23:57
keep
23:57
all
23:58
our
23:58
valuables,
23:59
that's
23:59
when
23:59
my
23:59
dad
24:01
walked
24:01
out
24:01
the
24:01
door
24:02
with
24:02
a
24:02
towel
24:02
around
24:03
him.
24:03
Anyway,
24:04
that
24:04
was.
24:06
He
24:07
was
24:07
very
24:07
unhappy
24:08
about,
24:08
I'm
24:08
sure.
24:09
Yeah.
24:10
But
24:11
anyway.
24:12
But
24:12
nobody
24:12
talked
24:13
to
24:13
us
24:13
about
24:13
sex.
24:14
Nobody.
24:14
You
24:15
were
24:15
just.
24:15
We
24:15
thought
24:15
they
24:15
were
24:16
willing
24:16
to.
24:17
I
24:17
thought
24:17
they
24:17
were
24:17
naps.
24:18
What
24:19
did
24:19
you
24:19
know?
24:19
Well,
24:20
you're
24:20
always
24:20
napping.
24:22
I
24:22
love
24:22
a
24:22
nap.
24:22
But
24:23
I'm
24:23
napping.
24:23
I
24:24
know,
24:24
but
24:24
I
24:24
think
24:24
maybe
24:25
you're
24:25
having
24:25
sex.
24:25
I'm
24:26
not.
24:27
Well,
24:28
I
24:28
don't
24:28
know.
24:29
I
24:29
mean,
24:29
I
24:29
just.
24:29
It's
24:30
like
24:30
whatever.
24:30
I'm
24:31
trained
24:31
to
24:31
believe
24:32
that
24:32
naps
24:32
are
24:32
sex.
24:33
Okay,
24:34
no,
24:35
okay,
24:35
nevermind.
24:36
This
24:36
is
24:36
why
24:36
childhoods
24:37
are
24:38
different
24:38
now.
24:39
Okay?
24:40
If
24:40
I'm
24:40
napping,
24:41
I'm
24:41
napping.
24:42
It
24:42
is
24:42
not
24:42
a
24:42
euphemism.
24:43
Okay,
24:43
so
24:44
you're
24:44
never
24:44
gonna
24:44
just
24:44
tell
24:44
me
24:45
me.
24:45
Okay,
24:46
well,
24:46
I'm
24:46
also
24:46
not
24:46
going
24:46
to
24:47
tell
24:47
you
24:47
otherwise.
24:48
Okay,
24:48
so.
24:48
But
24:49
like,
24:49
okay,
24:50
it's
24:50
not
24:51
okay.
24:51
I
24:51
know
24:51
that,
24:51
but
24:52
I'm.
24:52
But
24:52
what
24:52
are
24:52
you
24:53
going
24:53
to
24:53
tell
24:53
your
24:53
kids
24:54
when
24:54
you
24:54
need
24:54
some
24:55
quiet
24:55
time?
24:55
Are
24:55
you
24:56
going
24:56
to
24:56
say,
24:56
I'll
24:57
cross.
24:57
That
24:57
bridge
24:58
when
24:58
I
24:58
come
24:58
to
24:59
it?
24:59
Well,
24:59
my
24:59
parents
25:00
napped.
25:00
That's.
25:01
That's
25:01
what
25:01
they
25:01
did.
25:02
Yeah,
25:02
that's
25:03
right.
25:03
I
25:03
know,
25:04
but.
25:05
Okay.
25:05
He
25:05
talks
25:06
about
25:06
how
25:06
to
25:06
improve
25:07
your
25:07
communication
25:08
with
25:08
your
25:08
teen.
25:09
Now
25:09
this
25:10
was
25:10
something
25:10
I
25:10
did
25:11
not
25:11
like.
25:11
This
25:11
was
25:11
a
25:12
suggestion
25:12
that
25:12
he
25:13
made.
25:13
That
25:13
I
25:13
didn't
25:13
like.
25:13
But
25:14
he
25:14
said,
25:14
I.
25:14
I
25:15
mean,
25:15
it
25:15
would
25:15
be
25:15
in
25:16
an
25:16
ideal
25:17
world.
25:17
It
25:17
would
25:17
be
25:18
wonderful.
25:18
His
25:19
idea
25:19
was,
25:20
you
25:20
get
25:20
your
25:21
kid
25:21
a
25:21
notebook.
25:22
The
25:22
Notebook
25:23
girl.
25:24
I
25:24
know.
25:25
And
25:25
you
25:25
give
25:25
them,
25:26
like,
25:27
things
25:28
to
25:28
react
25:28
to.
25:29
Like.
25:32
If
25:32
you
25:32
could
25:33
know
25:33
anything
25:33
about
25:34
yourself
25:34
in
25:34
the
25:34
future,
25:35
what
25:35
would
25:35
it
25:35
be
25:36
and
25:36
why?
25:37
And
25:37
the
25:37
child
25:37
writes
25:38
an
25:38
essay
25:39
about
25:39
that.
25:39
And
25:40
then
25:40
the
25:40
parent
25:40
goes
25:40
in
25:41
and
25:41
writes
25:41
an
25:41
essay
25:42
about
25:42
that.
25:43
You
25:43
know
25:43
what
25:43
kids
25:44
love?
25:44
More
25:44
homework.
25:45
More
25:45
writing.
25:46
I
25:46
was
25:46
gonna
25:46
say,
25:47
I
25:47
can't
25:47
imagine
25:48
a
25:48
kid
25:48
wanting
25:49
to
25:49
do
25:49
that.
25:49
Also,
25:50
again,
25:50
I
25:51
was
25:51
raised
25:51
by
25:51
two
25:51
attorneys
25:52
and
25:52
I
25:52
learned
25:52
early,
25:53
put
25:53
nothing
25:54
in
25:54
writing.
25:54
Don't
25:54
write
25:55
when
25:55
you
25:55
can
25:55
speak
25:55
and
25:55
don't
25:56
speak
25:56
when
25:56
you
25:56
can
25:56
nod.
25:57
That's
25:57
true.
25:58
Well,
25:58
that's
25:58
a
25:58
whole
25:59
different
25:59
thing.
25:59
This
25:59
is
25:59
about
26:00
getting
26:00
to
26:00
know
26:01
somebody
26:02
at
26:02
a
26:02
deep
26:02
level
26:04
through
26:04
essays.
26:05
Through
26:05
essays.
26:06
And
26:06
I
26:06
don't
26:06
think
26:06
kids
26:07
would
26:07
want
26:07
to
26:07
do
26:07
that.
26:07
I
26:08
just
26:08
don't
26:08
see
26:08
it.
26:09
I
26:09
don't
26:09
either.
26:10
Right.
26:11
Okay.
26:13
The
26:13
other
26:13
thing
26:13
he
26:13
gets
26:14
into,
26:14
he
26:14
gets
26:15
into
26:15
all
26:15
these
26:15
common
26:16
worries
26:17
that
26:17
people
26:17
have.
26:18
Like,
26:18
does
26:19
my
26:19
daughter
26:20
or
26:20
son
26:20
have
26:20
an
26:21
eating
26:21
disorder?
26:23
Is
26:23
my
26:23
child
26:24
acting
26:24
out
26:24
in
26:24
anger?
26:25
Is
26:25
my
26:25
teen
26:26
using
26:26
drugs?
26:27
Are
26:27
they
26:27
sexting?
26:28
Are
26:28
they
26:28
cutting?
26:30
Are
26:30
they
26:30
too
26:31
stressed
26:31
out?
26:31
I
26:31
mean,
26:31
these
26:32
are
26:32
all
26:32
very
26:32
scary
26:33
things
26:33
that
26:34
some
26:34
teens
26:35
do
26:35
go
26:35
through.
26:35
No
26:36
question.
26:37
And
26:37
what
26:37
he
26:37
does
26:38
is
26:38
he
26:38
gives
26:38
you
26:40
how
26:40
to
26:41
deal
26:41
with
26:41
it.
26:41
Now,
26:41
in
26:42
some
26:42
Cases,
26:42
he'll
26:42
tell
26:43
you,
26:44
you
26:44
know,
26:44
completely
26:45
how
26:45
to
26:45
deal
26:45
with
26:45
it,
26:46
and
26:46
it's
26:46
all
26:46
there.
26:47
In
26:47
other
26:48
cases,
26:48
like
26:48
if
26:49
your
26:49
child
26:49
has
26:50
an
26:50
eating
26:51
disorder,
26:51
it's
26:51
the
26:52
tip
26:52
of
26:52
the
26:52
iceberg.
26:53
It's
26:53
like,
26:53
these
26:54
are
26:54
things
26:54
you
26:54
can
26:55
do.
26:55
Here
26:56
are
26:56
some
26:56
resources.
26:57
Here's.
26:57
But
26:58
at
26:58
least
26:58
he
26:58
can
26:58
get
26:58
you
26:59
started
26:59
on
26:59
the
27:00
path.
27:00
I
27:00
actually
27:00
really
27:01
appreciated
27:01
that.
27:01
I
27:02
also
27:02
think
27:02
because
27:02
there
27:03
is
27:03
still,
27:03
unfortunately,
27:04
stigma
27:04
around
27:05
therapy.
27:06
I
27:06
was
27:06
in
27:06
therapy
27:06
from
27:07
when
27:07
I
27:07
was
27:07
like
27:07
10
27:07
years
27:08
old,
27:08
so
27:08
no
27:09
stigma
27:09
here.
27:10
Right.
27:10
But
27:11
he
27:11
mentions
27:12
too,
27:12
that
27:12
for
27:12
some
27:13
families,
27:13
it
27:13
seems
27:14
like
27:14
therapy
27:14
can
27:14
be
27:15
out
27:15
of
27:15
reach
27:15
because
27:15
it's
27:16
expensive.
27:17
First
27:17
step
27:17
is
27:18
obviously
27:18
seeing
27:19
if
27:19
your
27:19
insurance
27:19
will
27:19
cover
27:20
some
27:20
or
27:20
part
27:20
of
27:21
it.
27:21
But
27:21
if
27:21
your
27:21
insurance
27:22
doesn't
27:22
cover
27:22
it,
27:23
there
27:23
are
27:24
organizations
27:25
like
27:25
nip,
27:25
National
27:26
Institute
27:26
for
27:26
the
27:27
Psychotherapies,
27:28
as
27:28
well
27:28
as
27:29
the
27:29
Young
27:29
Institute,
27:30
at
27:30
least
27:30
in
27:30
New
27:31
York.
27:31
Jung
27:32
after
27:32
Carl
27:33
Jung.
27:34
And
27:34
these
27:35
are
27:35
training
27:35
institutes
27:36
for
27:36
therapists.
27:37
Therapists.
27:37
Because
27:37
therapists
27:38
have
27:38
to
27:38
log
27:38
a
27:39
certain
27:39
number
27:39
of
27:39
hours
27:39
before
27:40
they're
27:40
licensed.
27:41
And
27:42
you
27:42
can
27:42
find
27:42
an
27:42
amazing
27:43
therapist
27:43
for
27:44
super
27:44
cheap.
27:45
It's
27:45
all
27:45
on
27:45
a
27:46
sliding
27:46
scale
27:47
because
27:47
it's
27:48
beneficial
27:48
for
27:48
them
27:49
as
27:49
well
27:49
as
27:49
for
27:50
you.
27:50
I
27:50
think
27:50
you
27:51
went
27:51
there
27:51
at
27:51
one
27:51
time.
27:51
I
27:51
did,
27:52
yeah.
27:52
You
27:52
got
27:52
a
27:52
great
27:53
therapist.
27:53
I
27:53
did.
27:54
And
27:54
Sam
27:54
found
27:54
a
27:55
therapist
27:55
there.
27:55
Everybody.
27:55
I
27:56
recommend
27:56
it
27:57
to
27:57
everyone.
27:58
And
27:58
that
27:58
was
27:58
one
27:58
great
27:59
thing
27:59
I
27:59
got
27:59
from
27:59
Conservatory,
28:00
is
28:00
that
28:01
they.
28:01
Actually,
28:01
at
28:02
the
28:02
conservatory,
28:02
I
28:03
went
28:03
to
28:03
the
28:03
Terry
28:04
Knickerbocker
28:04
Studio.
28:05
They
28:06
require
28:07
that
28:07
you
28:07
get
28:07
a
28:07
therapist
28:08
because
28:08
they're
28:09
like,
28:09
you're
28:10
about
28:10
to
28:10
wade
28:10
into
28:11
some
28:11
waters.
28:12
Okay.
28:12
And
28:13
they
28:13
can
28:13
be
28:13
murky.
28:14
And
28:14
in
28:15
the
28:15
interest
28:15
of
28:16
these
28:16
classes
28:17
not
28:18
becoming
28:18
group
28:19
therapy,
28:20
you
28:20
need
28:20
a
28:20
therapist.
28:21
And
28:22
I'm
28:22
so
28:22
grateful.
28:23
I'm
28:23
so
28:23
grateful
28:23
for
28:24
that
28:24
because
28:25
everybody
28:25
needs
28:26
a
28:26
therapist.
28:26
It
28:27
helps
28:27
you.
28:27
Yeah,
28:27
it
28:27
helps
28:28
you,
28:28
absolutely
28:28
right.
28:29
And
28:29
I
28:29
remember
28:30
when
28:30
your
28:31
brother
28:31
was
28:31
going
28:31
through
28:32
a
28:32
really
28:32
hard
28:32
time
28:34
and
28:34
the
28:34
whole
28:34
family
28:34
was.
28:35
Because
28:35
he
28:36
was
28:36
going
28:36
through
28:36
a
28:36
hard
28:36
time.
28:37
We
28:38
got
28:38
therapy
28:38
as
28:38
a
28:39
family.
28:39
He
28:39
got
28:39
therapy.
28:40
Was
28:40
I
28:41
there?
28:42
No,
28:42
this
28:42
was
28:42
when
28:43
we
28:43
were
28:43
in
28:44
Florida
28:44
and
28:45
when
28:45
it
28:45
was
28:45
particularly
28:46
difficult.
28:47
And
28:48
I
28:48
just
28:48
didn't
28:48
know
28:48
what
28:49
to
28:49
do
28:49
with
28:49
him.
28:51
And
28:52
I
28:52
think
28:52
parents
28:52
will
28:53
get
28:53
to
28:53
that
28:53
place
28:54
with
28:54
their
28:54
teenagers
28:55
sometimes.
28:55
It's
28:56
like
28:56
they
28:57
are
28:57
so
28:58
difficult.
28:59
It
28:59
feels
28:59
so
29:00
out
29:00
of
29:00
control.
29:01
You
29:01
just
29:02
do
29:02
not
29:02
know
29:03
how
29:03
to
29:03
help
29:03
them.
29:04
And.
29:05
And.
29:05
And
29:06
we
29:06
ended
29:06
up
29:07
going
29:07
for
29:07
therapy
29:07
and
29:08
he
29:08
went
29:08
for
29:08
therapy.
29:09
And
29:09
it
29:09
helped
29:10
him
29:10
tremendously.
29:11
It
29:11
got
29:11
him
29:12
sort
29:12
of
29:12
back
29:13
on
29:13
track.
29:14
It
29:15
helped
29:15
the.
29:15
The
29:15
whole
29:16
family
29:16
relationship.
29:18
So.
29:18
Yeah,
29:19
I
29:19
mean,
29:19
it.
29:19
It's.
29:20
I
29:20
mean,
29:20
I
29:21
think
29:21
we
29:21
started.
29:22
Did
29:22
you
29:22
and
29:22
I
29:23
went
29:23
to
29:23
see
29:23
a
29:23
therapist
29:24
together.
29:24
That's
29:25
how
29:25
I
29:25
started.
29:27
Here
29:28
in
29:28
New
29:28
York.
29:28
So
29:28
funny.
29:29
He
29:29
was
29:29
a.
29:30
He
29:30
was
29:30
excellent.
29:30
Sean
29:31
Grover,
29:31
Shout
29:32
out.
29:32
Loved
29:32
him.
29:33
Yeah,
29:33
he
29:33
was.
29:33
He
29:33
was
29:34
hilarious.
29:34
He
29:34
was.
29:36
He
29:36
really
29:36
knew
29:36
how
29:36
to
29:37
deal
29:37
with
29:37
teenagers.
29:38
This
29:38
was
29:38
in
29:38
the
29:38
New
29:39
York
29:39
area.
29:39
Yeah.
29:40
And
29:40
you,
29:40
I
29:40
think
29:40
no
29:40
matter
29:41
where
29:41
you
29:41
live,
29:42
you
29:42
ask
29:42
around
29:43
and
29:44
ask
29:44
other
29:45
parents
29:45
who
29:45
they
29:46
know
29:46
who
29:46
are
29:46
good
29:47
with
29:47
young
29:47
teens,
29:49
get
29:49
recommendations.
29:50
I'm
29:51
sure
29:51
I
29:51
got
29:51
a
29:52
recommendation
29:52
for
29:52
him.
29:53
Oh,
29:53
for
29:53
sure.
29:54
I
29:54
feel
29:55
like
29:55
he
29:55
was
29:55
a
29:55
therapist
29:56
to
29:56
all
29:56
the
29:56
cool
29:57
kids.
29:57
Like,
29:57
we
29:58
had
29:58
group
29:58
therapy
29:59
and
29:59
I
29:59
made
29:59
so
30:00
many
30:00
friends
30:01
in
30:01
group
30:02
therapy.
30:02
Granted,
30:03
we
30:04
used
30:04
our
30:04
friendship
30:05
to
30:05
go
30:05
out
30:05
and
30:06
be
30:06
bad
30:06
together
30:07
as
30:07
a
30:07
group.
30:08
I
30:08
don't
30:08
even
30:08
wanna
30:09
know.
30:09
But
30:09
okay,
30:11
I
30:11
loved
30:11
it.
30:12
But
30:12
I
30:12
remember
30:13
he
30:13
also,
30:13
quote,
30:14
unquote,
30:14
hired
30:14
you
30:15
to
30:16
assist
30:16
him
30:17
with
30:17
group
30:17
therapy
30:18
for
30:18
younger
30:18
kids.
30:19
And
30:19
then
30:19
you
30:19
came
30:20
in
30:20
and
30:20
you
30:20
were
30:21
kind
30:21
of
30:21
a
30:21
leader
30:21
with.
30:22
I
30:22
was
30:22
a
30:22
Rodney.
30:23
You
30:23
were
30:23
the
30:24
Rodney
30:24
for
30:25
these
30:25
kids.
30:26
And
30:26
it
30:26
was
30:26
great.
30:27
I
30:27
loved
30:27
it.
30:27
It
30:28
was
30:28
really
30:28
fun.
30:28
It
30:28
was
30:28
a
30:28
really
30:29
good
30:29
thing.
30:29
I
30:29
mean,
30:30
I
30:30
think
30:30
that
30:30
parents
30:31
can
30:31
expect.
30:32
When
30:33
your
30:33
child
30:33
is
30:33
a
30:33
teenager,
30:34
it
30:34
will
30:34
get
30:35
hard
30:37
and
30:37
you
30:37
will
30:37
not
30:38
always
30:38
know
30:38
what
30:38
to
30:39
do.
30:39
And
30:39
so
30:40
having
30:40
a
30:40
book
30:41
like
30:41
this
30:42
or
30:42
having
30:42
a
30:43
therapist,
30:43
I
30:43
mean,
30:44
these
30:44
are
30:44
resources
30:45
that
30:45
you
30:45
have
30:45
to
30:46
go
30:46
to
30:46
to
30:46
get
30:47
support.
30:47
Because
30:49
none
30:49
of
30:49
us
30:50
know
30:50
how
30:50
to
30:50
handle
30:51
teenagers.
30:52
Unless
30:52
maybe
30:52
we're
30:53
a
30:53
psychotherapist
30:54
or
30:54
something
30:54
and
30:55
we
30:55
know
30:55
something
30:55
about
30:55
this.
30:56
Although
30:56
I
30:56
have
30:56
friends
30:56
who
30:57
have
30:57
psychotherapist
30:57
parents
30:58
and
30:59
they
30:59
struggle
31:00
more
31:00
than
31:00
anyone.
31:01
Oh,
31:01
really?
31:01
Well,
31:02
yeah.
31:02
I
31:02
mean,
31:02
it's
31:02
a
31:02
constant
31:03
analys.
31:04
Like,
31:04
who
31:05
wants
31:05
to
31:05
live
31:05
like
31:05
that?
31:06
Yeah,
31:07
yeah.
31:08
No,
31:08
that's.
31:08
That
31:09
is
31:09
true.
31:09
But
31:10
it.
31:12
I
31:12
don't
31:12
know.
31:13
I
31:13
just
31:13
remember
31:14
it
31:14
was
31:14
funny
31:15
when
31:15
having
31:15
a
31:16
baby,
31:17
I
31:17
could
31:18
so
31:18
easily
31:19
kind
31:19
of
31:19
figure
31:19
out
31:20
what
31:20
I
31:20
needed
31:20
to
31:20
do.
31:21
And
31:21
having
31:21
a
31:21
toddler
31:22
and
31:22
having
31:22
a
31:23
young
31:23
child,
31:23
I
31:24
mean,
31:24
little
31:25
kids,
31:26
I
31:26
don't
31:26
know,
31:26
I
31:26
could.
31:27
Little
31:27
kids,
31:27
little
31:27
problems.
31:28
Big
31:28
kids,
31:29
big
31:29
problems.
31:29
Do
31:30
they
31:30
say
31:30
that?
31:30
Is
31:30
that
31:30
a
31:31
saying?
31:31
Yeah.
31:31
I
31:32
will
31:32
say
31:32
the
31:32
day
31:33
that
31:33
my
31:33
daughter
31:33
does
31:34
want
31:34
to
31:34
hang
31:34
out
31:34
with
31:34
me
31:34
is
31:35
the
31:35
day
31:35
I
31:35
throw
31:35
myself
31:35
out
31:36
a
31:36
window.
31:36
It's
31:37
hard.
31:37
It's
31:38
really
31:38
hard.
31:38
I
31:38
remember
31:39
walking
31:39
with
31:39
Sam,
31:40
your
31:40
brother,
31:40
and
31:41
we
31:41
were
31:42
going
31:42
somewhere
31:43
together.
31:43
We
31:43
were
31:43
having
31:43
such
31:44
a
31:44
good
31:44
time.
31:44
And
31:44
I
31:44
said,
31:45
oh,
31:45
Sam,
31:46
I
31:46
hope
31:46
it's
31:47
always
31:47
going
31:47
to
31:47
be
31:47
like
31:48
this
31:48
with
31:48
the
31:48
two
31:48
of
31:49
us,
31:49
that
31:49
we
31:49
just
31:49
love
31:50
being
31:50
together
31:50
like
31:51
we
31:51
are
31:51
today.
31:51
And
31:52
he
31:52
just
31:52
looked
31:52
at
31:53
me
31:53
and
31:53
he
31:53
said,
31:53
oh,
31:53
no,
31:54
Mom,
31:54
I'm
31:55
going
31:55
to
31:55
rebel.
31:56
It's
31:56
what
31:56
Teenagers
31:57
do.
31:57
I'm
31:58
planning
31:58
on
31:58
it.
31:58
I'm
31:59
going
31:59
to
31:59
do
31:59
it.
31:59
And,
31:59
boy,
32:00
did
32:00
he.
32:00
He
32:00
really
32:01
did.
32:01
He
32:01
was
32:01
so
32:01
wise.
32:02
He
32:02
was
32:03
wise
32:03
as
32:03
a
32:03
child.
32:04
He
32:04
really
32:04
was.
32:05
He
32:05
knew
32:05
it
32:06
was
32:06
gonna
32:06
happen.
32:06
And
32:07
it
32:07
did
32:07
happen.
32:07
I
32:07
was
32:07
shocked.
32:08
Cause
32:08
we
32:08
were
32:09
so
32:09
close
32:10
when
32:10
he
32:10
was
32:10
little.
32:11
And
32:12
then
32:12
there
32:12
came
32:12
a
32:13
time
32:13
when
32:13
I
32:14
just
32:14
felt
32:14
like
32:14
he
32:14
really
32:15
hated
32:15
me
32:16
and
32:16
dad,
32:16
too,
32:17
and,
32:18
you
32:18
know,
32:18
really
32:19
rebelled.
32:19
I
32:19
mean,
32:20
he
32:20
had
32:20
to
32:20
go
32:20
through
32:20
that
32:21
phase,
32:21
and
32:22
he
32:22
came
32:23
out
32:23
the
32:23
other
32:23
side.
32:24
And
32:24
he's
32:25
great.
32:25
I
32:25
mean,
32:25
we're
32:26
so
32:26
close
32:26
now,
32:27
but
32:27
I'm
32:27
just
32:27
saying
32:28
it
32:28
happens.
32:29
And
32:29
I
32:29
remember
32:29
a
32:30
pediatrician
32:30
saying
32:31
to
32:31
me,
32:32
don't
32:32
worry,
32:32
he
32:33
will
32:33
come
32:33
out
32:33
the
32:34
other
32:34
side.
32:35
And
32:35
I
32:35
remember
32:36
looking
32:36
at
32:36
the
32:37
pediatrician
32:38
saying,
32:38
how
32:38
do
32:39
you
32:39
know
32:39
that?
32:40
Like,
32:41
you
32:41
may
32:41
not
32:41
be
32:42
right?
32:42
I
32:42
mean.
32:42
Cause
32:43
it
32:43
doesn't.
32:43
You
32:43
know,
32:43
it
32:44
doesn't
32:44
feel
32:44
that
32:44
way.
32:45
It
32:45
doesn't
32:45
feel
32:45
like
32:45
that's
32:46
gonna
32:46
happen.
32:47
But
32:47
it
32:47
did.
32:47
It
32:48
did
32:48
happen.
32:48
And
32:49
so
32:49
you
32:49
just
32:49
have
32:49
to
32:49
keep
32:50
at
32:50
it.
32:50
You
32:51
have
32:51
to
32:51
keep
32:51
being
32:52
like
32:52
the
32:52
Rodney,
32:54
the
32:54
constant
32:55
presence
32:55
for
32:55
your
32:56
child.
32:56
You
32:57
have
32:57
to
32:57
set
32:57
those
32:57
boundaries.
32:59
You
32:59
have
32:59
to
32:59
hold
32:59
them
33:00
to
33:00
them,
33:01
but
33:01
you
33:02
have
33:02
to
33:02
just
33:02
be
33:02
that
33:02
steady
33:03
influence
33:03
in
33:04
their
33:04
life.
33:04
Yeah.
33:05
Well,
33:05
also,
33:06
you
33:06
also
33:07
have
33:07
to
33:07
be
33:07
flexible.
33:08
Like,
33:08
discipline
33:09
is
33:09
important
33:09
to
33:10
a
33:10
point.
33:10
He
33:11
talks
33:11
about
33:12
how
33:13
sometimes
33:13
your
33:13
kids
33:14
will
33:14
do
33:14
something
33:14
terrible
33:15
and
33:15
you'll
33:15
be
33:16
so
33:16
angry,
33:16
but
33:16
instead
33:17
of
33:18
being
33:18
angry,
33:19
be
33:19
vulnerable,
33:20
which
33:20
I
33:20
really
33:21
appreciated.
33:21
That's
33:22
something
33:22
I
33:22
think
33:22
everyone
33:23
should
33:23
learn
33:24
from.
33:25
Because
33:25
I
33:25
think
33:25
when
33:25
you
33:26
approach
33:26
a
33:27
situation
33:27
like
33:27
that
33:29
allows
33:30
somebody
33:31
to
33:32
be
33:33
more
33:33
honest,
33:34
and
33:34
it
33:34
opens
33:34
the
33:35
door
33:35
to
33:35
a
33:35
much
33:35
bigger
33:36
and
33:36
more
33:36
important
33:37
conversation.
33:37
Right.
33:38
That
33:38
will
33:38
ultimately
33:39
bring
33:39
you
33:39
closer,
33:39
especially
33:40
when
33:40
someone
33:40
is
33:41
expected,
33:41
is
33:42
expecting
33:42
to
33:42
get
33:42
punished,
33:43
and
33:43
instead
33:44
they
33:44
are
33:44
embraced.
33:45
It's
33:46
just.
33:46
It's
33:47
a
33:47
feeling
33:48
that
33:48
they
33:48
will
33:48
never
33:48
forget.
33:49
Right.
33:49
And
33:49
it
33:49
will
33:50
encourage
33:50
them
33:50
to
33:50
be
33:50
more
33:51
honest
33:51
in
33:51
the
33:51
future.
33:51
Because
33:52
that's
33:52
another
33:52
big
33:52
thing.
33:53
Like,
33:53
teenagers
33:54
don't
33:54
want
33:54
to
33:54
tell
33:54
you.
33:55
Right.
33:55
Anything.
33:57
Anything.
33:58
Right.
33:58
Because
33:58
they
33:58
think
33:58
they're
33:58
gonna
33:59
get
33:59
punished,
33:59
and
33:59
they.
34:00
They.
34:00
They're
34:00
trying
34:01
to
34:01
get
34:01
out
34:01
of
34:01
trouble.
34:01
Yeah,
34:02
right.
34:02
And
34:02
some
34:03
things
34:03
deserve
34:04
punishment,
34:04
right?
34:05
But
34:05
proportionality.
34:06
Like,
34:06
I
34:06
remember
34:07
the
34:07
first
34:07
time
34:08
I
34:08
came
34:08
home
34:09
and
34:09
I
34:09
had
34:10
clearly
34:10
been
34:10
drinking.
34:12
Instead
34:12
of
34:13
getting
34:13
angry
34:13
at
34:13
me
34:14
or
34:14
grounding
34:14
me,
34:15
my
34:15
dad,
34:15
who
34:16
had
34:16
also
34:16
been
34:16
out
34:17
the
34:17
night
34:17
before,
34:18
got
34:18
up
34:19
and
34:19
was
34:20
like,
34:20
all
34:20
right,
34:20
get
34:20
your
34:20
shoes
34:20
on.
34:21
We're
34:21
going
34:21
out.
34:22
And
34:22
I
34:22
was
34:22
like,
34:22
why?
34:22
Like,
34:23
we
34:23
don't
34:23
go
34:23
anywhere.
34:24
And
34:25
he
34:25
took
34:25
me
34:26
to
34:26
see
34:26
Stomp
34:28
at
34:28
1pm
34:29
in
34:29
the
34:29
afternoon
34:30
when
34:30
I
34:30
was
34:30
viciously
34:32
hungover.
34:33
And
34:34
it
34:34
was
34:34
A
34:34
very
34:34
painful
34:34
experience
34:35
for
34:35
me.
34:35
Right,
34:36
right.
34:36
And
34:36
it
34:37
discouraged
34:37
me
34:38
from
34:38
getting
34:38
caught,
34:39
hungover
34:40
or
34:40
drinking
34:41
ever
34:41
again.
34:43
Yeah.
34:43
It's
34:44
pretty
34:44
upsetting
34:44
when
34:44
you
34:45
catch
34:45
your
34:45
child
34:45
doing
34:46
something
34:46
like
34:46
that
34:47
that
34:47
you
34:48
thought
34:48
you
34:49
had
34:49
talked
34:50
to
34:50
them
34:50
about
34:50
and
34:51
that
34:51
they.
34:51
But
34:51
every
34:52
child
34:52
is
34:52
going
34:52
to
34:53
experiment.
34:53
I
34:53
mean,
34:54
it's
34:54
just
34:54
going
34:54
to
34:54
happen
34:55
and
34:56
to
34:56
be
34:56
prepared
34:56
for
34:57
it.
34:58
And
34:58
it
34:58
doesn't
34:58
have
34:59
to
34:59
end
34:59
up
34:59
in
34:59
a
35:00
screaming
35:00
battle
35:01
every
35:01
time.
35:01
No,
35:02
no.
35:02
Unless
35:03
it
35:03
keeps
35:03
happening.
35:04
And
35:04
then
35:04
it's
35:04
like,
35:05
okay,
35:05
well,
35:06
even.
35:07
Then,
35:07
I
35:07
don't
35:07
know
35:07
that
35:08
screaming
35:08
battles
35:09
are
35:09
the
35:09
answer.
35:10
They're
35:10
very
35:10
rarely
35:10
the
35:11
answer.
35:11
That
35:11
is
35:11
not,
35:12
I
35:12
think,
35:12
talking
35:12
about
35:13
it.
35:13
That
35:13
here
35:13
is
35:14
why
35:14
I'm
35:14
concerned
35:15
about
35:15
this
35:17
and
35:17
trying
35:18
to
35:18
help
35:18
your
35:19
child
35:19
understand
35:20
what
35:21
your
35:21
concerns
35:22
are.
35:24
You
35:24
know,
35:24
getting
35:25
through
35:25
to
35:25
a
35:26
teenager
35:26
is
35:26
tough,
35:27
but,
35:27
yeah,
35:27
you
35:28
have
35:28
to
35:28
try.
35:28
Yeah,
35:29
yeah.
35:29
And
35:29
he
35:29
talks
35:29
a
35:30
lot
35:30
about
35:30
building
35:30
rapport.
35:31
Obviously,
35:31
like,
35:32
you
35:32
don't
35:32
just
35:32
go
35:32
from,
35:33
like,
35:33
zero
35:33
to
35:33
kikiing
35:34
and
35:34
Right.
35:35
Seconds,
35:36
but,
35:36
you
35:37
know,
35:37
again,
35:37
it's.
35:37
You
35:37
teach
35:38
your
35:38
child
35:38
that
35:39
they
35:39
can
35:39
trust
35:40
you
35:40
if
35:40
they
35:41
make
35:41
a
35:41
mistake
35:41
to
35:42
come
35:42
to
35:42
you.
35:42
Right.
35:43
Not
35:43
that
35:43
you'll
35:43
solve
35:44
it
35:44
for
35:44
them
35:44
because
35:45
ultimately
35:45
they
35:45
need
35:45
to
35:46
learn
35:46
to
35:47
deal
35:47
with
35:47
consequences
35:48
themselves,
35:49
but
35:49
that
35:49
you
35:49
will
35:50
support
35:50
them
35:50
and
35:51
that
35:51
you
35:51
will
35:51
help
35:52
them
35:52
try
35:52
and
35:52
find
35:53
a
35:53
solution.
35:53
And
35:53
you
35:54
won't
35:54
immediately
35:55
jump
35:56
to
35:57
punishment
35:58
or
35:58
chastising
35:59
them
36:00
because
36:01
chances
36:02
are
36:02
they
36:02
know
36:02
that
36:03
they
36:03
did
36:03
something
36:03
wrong.
36:04
Oh,
36:04
yeah.
36:04
You
36:04
know.
36:05
Oh,
36:05
yeah,
36:06
yeah.
36:06
She.
36:07
I
36:07
think
36:07
she
36:08
or
36:08
the
36:08
author
36:09
tells
36:09
a
36:09
story
36:09
about
36:10
a
36:10
teacher
36:11
who
36:13
was
36:13
talking
36:14
to
36:14
her
36:14
students.
36:15
I
36:15
can't
36:15
remember
36:15
the
36:16
context.
36:16
About
36:17
the
36:17
driving.
36:17
Yeah,
36:18
she
36:18
tells
36:19
a
36:19
personal
36:19
story.
36:21
The
36:22
story
36:22
of
36:22
Noah.
36:22
The
36:23
story
36:23
of
36:23
Noah,
36:24
who
36:24
was
36:24
her
36:25
date
36:25
to
36:25
the
36:25
prom.
36:27
Was
36:27
that
36:27
her
36:27
date?
36:28
I
36:28
think
36:28
so.
36:29
Yeah.
36:29
It
36:29
was
36:29
her
36:29
date
36:30
to
36:30
the
36:30
prom.
36:31
And
36:33
he
36:33
drove.
36:33
They
36:34
went
36:34
to
36:34
the
36:34
prom.
36:34
They
36:34
had
36:35
a
36:35
wonderful
36:35
time.
36:36
And
36:37
he
36:37
drove
36:37
to
36:37
the.
36:38
He
36:38
dropped
36:38
her
36:38
off.
36:39
He
36:39
dropped
36:39
her
36:39
off
36:40
first.
36:40
And
36:41
then
36:41
on
36:41
the
36:41
way
36:41
home,
36:41
I
36:41
guess
36:42
he
36:42
was
36:42
so
36:42
happy
36:42
and
36:43
excited.
36:43
Whatever.
36:43
He
36:44
was
36:44
driving
36:45
very
36:45
dangerously,
36:46
very
36:46
fast,
36:47
and
36:47
he
36:47
got
36:47
into
36:47
an
36:47
accident
36:48
and
36:48
he
36:48
was
36:48
killed.
36:49
And
36:50
the
36:50
teacher
36:50
told
36:50
that
36:50
to
36:51
her
36:51
teenage
36:52
student.
36:53
And
36:53
it
36:53
made
36:53
a
36:54
really
36:54
big
36:54
impact
36:55
on
36:55
them
36:55
because
36:56
she
36:56
shared
36:56
something
36:57
so
36:57
personal
36:58
and
36:59
kind
36:59
of
36:59
made
36:59
them
37:00
think,
37:00
ooh,
37:00
well,
37:01
I
37:01
better
37:01
not
37:02
drive
37:03
like
37:03
that.
37:03
Like
37:04
that
37:04
can
37:04
happen.
37:05
Yeah.
37:05
So
37:05
I
37:05
guess
37:06
the
37:07
lesson
37:07
is
37:07
if
37:07
you
37:08
have
37:08
a
37:08
true
37:08
personal
37:09
story,
37:09
share
37:09
it
37:10
or
37:10
make
37:10
one
37:11
up.
37:12
Well,
37:12
I
37:12
don't
37:12
know
37:13
if
37:13
you
37:13
can
37:13
make
37:13
one
37:13
up,
37:14
but.
37:14
Well,
37:14
I
37:15
guess
37:15
you
37:15
could
37:15
if
37:15
you're
37:16
a
37:16
good
37:16
actor.
37:16
Maybe.
37:17
I
37:17
don't
37:17
know,
37:17
but
37:18
I
37:18
think.
37:18
Yeah,
37:19
I
37:19
Mean,
37:19
listen,
37:20
whatever
37:20
works
37:20
with
37:21
kids.
37:21
Remember
37:22
I
37:22
used
37:22
to
37:22
tell
37:22
you
37:23
that
37:23
you
37:24
were
37:24
born
37:24
at
37:25
a
37:25
McDonald's?
37:26
I
37:26
don't
37:26
know
37:26
why.
37:26
I
37:26
had
37:27
this
37:27
crazy
37:27
story.
37:27
You
37:28
told
37:28
me
37:28
I
37:28
was
37:28
born
37:29
at
37:29
a
37:29
McDonald's
37:30
and
37:30
that
37:30
I
37:30
was
37:31
wrapped
37:31
up
37:31
in
37:31
a
37:31
hamburger
37:32
bun.
37:32
You
37:33
told
37:33
me
37:34
that.
37:34
Why
37:34
I
37:34
did
37:35
that
37:35
My
37:35
grandpa
37:35
Poppy
37:36
invented
37:37
the
37:37
poppy
37:37
seed.
37:38
Yes,
37:38
I
37:38
did.
37:38
Information
37:39
that
37:39
I
37:40
disseminated
37:40
to
37:41
everyone
37:41
in
37:41
kindergarten.
37:42
Sorry.
37:43
And
37:43
was
37:43
then
37:43
refuted
37:44
when
37:45
people
37:45
were
37:45
like,
37:46
no
37:46
one
37:46
invented
37:47
the
37:47
poppy
37:48
seed.
37:48
It's
37:49
a
37:49
seed.
37:49
I
37:50
would
37:50
just
37:50
tell
37:50
you
37:50
these
37:50
fun
37:51
stories
37:51
because
37:52
I
37:52
was
37:52
just.
37:52
I
37:52
mean,
37:52
I
37:52
was
37:53
just
37:53
trying
37:53
to
37:53
be
37:53
silly
37:54
and
37:54
creative
37:55
and.
37:55
And
37:55
I
37:56
would
37:56
share
37:56
them
37:56
as
37:56
if
37:56
they
37:57
were
37:57
gospel.
37:58
I
37:58
know.
37:58
I'm
37:58
sorry.
37:59
I
37:59
was
38:00
like,
38:00
this
38:00
is
38:00
my
38:00
origin
38:01
story.
38:02
I
38:02
was
38:02
born
38:02
at
38:03
The
38:03
Union
38:03
Square
38:04
McDonald's.
38:05
Right.
38:05
And.
38:05
And
38:06
then
38:06
wrapped
38:06
up
38:06
in
38:06
a
38:06
big
38:07
hamburger
38:07
bun
38:07
and
38:08
rushed
38:08
to
38:08
the
38:08
hospital.
38:09
Yeah,
38:10
it
38:10
was
38:10
better
38:10
than
38:11
the
38:11
real
38:11
story.
38:11
So.
38:12
Yeah.
38:12
It's
38:12
funny
38:12
that
38:13
I
38:13
didn't
38:13
believe
38:13
in
38:14
Santa,
38:14
but
38:14
I
38:15
believed
38:15
in
38:15
this.
38:16
You
38:16
did.
38:16
You
38:17
did.
38:17
And
38:17
then
38:17
the
38:17
funny
38:18
part
38:18
about
38:18
this
38:18
is
38:19
that
38:19
you
38:19
used
38:19
to
38:19
make
38:20
up
38:20
crazy
38:20
stories,
38:21
too,
38:22
which
38:22
I
38:22
thought
38:23
was
38:23
great
38:23
because
38:24
that
38:24
was
38:25
a
38:25
sign
38:25
of
38:25
creativity.
38:26
I
38:26
was
38:26
a
38:26
creative.
38:27
You
38:27
were
38:27
very
38:27
creative.
38:28
You
38:28
used
38:29
to
38:29
tell
38:29
people
38:29
that
38:29
you,
38:30
I
38:30
think,
38:30
had
38:30
a.
38:33
Like,
38:33
a
38:33
small
38:34
mouse
38:34
as
38:34
a
38:35
pet
38:35
who
38:35
lived
38:36
in
38:36
a
38:37
shoebox
38:38
in
38:38
your
38:38
closet,
38:39
and
38:39
you
38:39
had
38:39
this
38:40
whole
38:40
story
38:40
that
38:40
you
38:41
made
38:41
up.
38:41
But
38:41
they
38:41
called
38:41
me
38:42
into
38:42
school
38:42
to
38:42
tell
38:43
me
38:43
that
38:43
you
38:43
were
38:43
lying,
38:44
and
38:45
I
38:45
was
38:45
like,
38:45
what
38:46
do
38:46
you
38:46
mean?
38:46
I
38:46
said,
38:46
this
38:47
is
38:47
so
38:47
creative.
38:49
I
38:49
was
38:49
manifesting.
38:50
You
38:50
were.
38:51
Yeah,
38:51
whatever.
38:51
Anyway,
38:52
I'm
38:52
just
38:52
saying
38:53
it's
38:53
funny
38:53
how,
38:53
you
38:54
know.
38:54
Know
38:55
you
38:55
can
38:55
get
38:55
yourself
38:56
in
38:56
trouble
38:56
with
38:56
your
38:56
kids.
38:57
You're
38:57
trying
38:58
to
38:58
be
38:58
fun
38:59
and
38:59
creative
39:00
and
39:00
have
39:00
fun
39:00
with
39:01
things,
39:01
and
39:01
then
39:01
they
39:02
believe
39:02
you,
39:02
and
39:03
it's
39:03
not
39:03
good.
39:03
And
39:04
so
39:04
it's
39:04
like,
39:04
who
39:04
was
39:05
my
39:05
mouse
39:05
story
39:05
harming?
39:06
Nobody.
39:07
I
39:07
don't
39:07
know
39:07
why
39:08
they
39:08
made
39:08
such
39:09
a
39:09
big
39:09
deal
39:09
that.
39:10
But
39:10
they
39:11
said
39:11
they
39:11
didn't
39:12
want
39:12
you,
39:13
you
39:13
know,
39:14
lying
39:14
to
39:15
people.
39:15
And
39:15
I'm
39:15
like,
39:16
it
39:16
was
39:16
a
39:16
story.
39:17
I
39:17
was
39:17
five.
39:19
You
39:19
were
39:19
very
39:19
young.
39:20
And
39:20
anyway,
39:21
so
39:21
we
39:21
go
39:22
on.
39:22
Anyway,
39:22
the
39:22
book
39:23
itself.
39:23
Okay,
39:24
let's
39:24
say,
39:25
did
39:25
we
39:25
like
39:25
this
39:26
book?
39:26
What
39:26
do
39:26
you
39:26
think?
39:26
I
39:27
liked
39:27
it.
39:27
I
39:27
liked
39:27
parts
39:28
of
39:28
it.
39:28
It
39:28
was
39:28
really
39:29
readable.
39:31
There
39:31
were
39:31
parts
39:32
that
39:32
I
39:32
was
39:32
like,
39:33
whoa,
39:33
sensational.
39:34
But
39:34
again,
39:35
like,
39:35
he's
39:35
trying
39:35
to
39:36
hammer
39:36
in
39:36
a
39:36
point
39:36
so
39:37
I
39:37
can
39:37
understand
39:38
how
39:38
we
39:38
got
39:38
there.
39:39
Yes.
39:40
What
39:40
about
39:40
you?
39:40
What
39:41
did
39:41
you
39:41
think?
39:41
Well,
39:42
yes,
39:42
overall,
39:43
I
39:43
thought
39:43
it
39:44
was
39:44
a
39:44
good
39:44
book.
39:45
And
39:46
I
39:46
think
39:47
you
39:47
know,
39:47
if
39:47
you
39:47
have
39:48
a
39:48
teenager
39:48
and
39:48
you're
39:49
struggling
39:49
with
39:49
what
39:49
do
39:50
I
39:50
Do?
39:51
This
39:51
will
39:52
give
39:52
you
39:52
ideas,
39:53
nuggets,
39:54
things
39:54
you
39:54
can
39:54
try,
39:56
some
39:57
approaches
39:57
that
39:57
you
39:58
might
39:58
not
39:58
have
39:58
thought
39:58
of.
39:59
So
39:59
to
40:00
me,
40:01
it's
40:01
a
40:01
helpful
40:02
book.
40:02
It
40:02
really
40:02
is.
40:03
And
40:03
I
40:04
know,
40:04
like
40:04
I
40:04
said
40:06
years
40:06
ago
40:06
when
40:06
I
40:07
was
40:07
struggling
40:07
with
40:08
what
40:08
do
40:08
I
40:08
Do
40:08
with
40:08
my
40:09
teenager?
40:10
It
40:10
would
40:10
have
40:11
given
40:11
me
40:11
something
40:11
to
40:11
hang
40:12
my
40:12
hat
40:12
on.
40:12
At
40:13
least
40:13
get
40:13
started
40:14
and
40:14
try
40:14
something
40:15
things.
40:15
So
40:16
I
40:16
think
40:16
it's
40:16
really
40:16
good.
40:17
I
40:17
would
40:17
recommend
40:17
it.
40:18
It's
40:18
a
40:18
good
40:18
read.
40:19
Or
40:19
you
40:19
can
40:19
just
40:19
listen
40:20
to
40:20
what
40:20
we
40:20
just
40:20
said
40:20
about
40:21
it
40:21
and
40:22
do
40:22
what
40:22
we
40:22
just
40:22
said
40:23
and
40:23
you
40:24
don't
40:24
have
40:24
to
40:24
read
40:24
it.
40:24
Same
40:25
results.
40:25
That's
40:26
right.
40:27
Thank
40:27
you
40:27
guys
40:28
for
40:28
joining
40:28
us.
40:28
And
40:29
please
40:30
join
40:30
us
40:30
next
40:30
week
40:30
for
40:31
another
40:31
episode
40:31
of
40:31
Other
40:32
People's
40:32
Parenting.