Latest / Live 100 Podcast with Jason Yarusi / Do What You Say: How Integrity Builds a Powerful Reputation

Transcript

Do What You Say: How Integrity Builds a Powerful Reputation · Live 100 Podcast with Jason Yarusi

• 0:00
  SPEAKER_00: You have to keep your promises to you and to others.
• 0:04
  SPEAKER_00: Here's the keep system.
• 0:05
  SPEAKER_00: Keep the promise specific.
• 0:07
  SPEAKER_00: That's the K.
• 0:08
  SPEAKER_00: Define exactly what you will do and when.
• 0:11
  SPEAKER_00: E.
• 0:11
  SPEAKER_00: Evaluate the cost before agreeing.
• 0:13
  SPEAKER_00: You check your calendar, right?
• 0:14
  SPEAKER_00: Your energy and your responsibilities.
• 0:16
  SPEAKER_00: You make sure the promise is realistic before you make it.
• 0:18
  SPEAKER_00: E.
• 0:19
  SPEAKER_00: Execute with an if-then plan.
• 0:22
  SPEAKER_00: Decide when and where these actions will happen.
• 0:25
  SPEAKER_00: And P promptly communicate problems.
• 0:27
  SPEAKER_00: Circumstances, they change.
• 0:30
  SPEAKER_00: Circumstances, they are gonna change.
• 0:31
  SPEAKER_00: Integrity does not require pretending that they have it.
• 0:34
  SPEAKER_00: Communicate early.
• 0:36
  SPEAKER_00: Accept the responsibility for how it's changed and establish a new agreement.
• 0:40
  SPEAKER_00: Renegotiating, honestly, it gives you a trust and a chance to survive.
• 0:45
  SPEAKER_00: Do the work.
• 0:46
  SPEAKER_00: Commit yourself.
• 0:54
  SPEAKER_00: All right, let's go.
• 0:55
  SPEAKER_00: If you're tired of not feeling fit, tired just not having a focus, tired, just not having the life that you deserve.
• 0:59
  SPEAKER_00: This is Place to be.
• 0:59
  SPEAKER_00: I'm Jason Yarussi today.
• 1:01
  SPEAKER_00: Let's just talk about your word.
• 1:03
  SPEAKER_00: You know, this morning, your alarm went off.
• 1:06
  SPEAKER_00: And maybe you promised yourself you would get up and work out.
• 1:09
  SPEAKER_00: Immediately, that negotiation began.
• 1:12
  SPEAKER_00: I didn't sleep well.
• 1:13
  SPEAKER_00: Oh, this bed feels so comfortable.
• 1:14
  SPEAKER_00: I just need five more minutes.
• 1:16
  SPEAKER_00: Maybe I'll just do the workout later in the afternoon.
• 1:18
  SPEAKER_00: Or, you know, maybe just missing today, it wouldn't hurt me.
• 1:22
  SPEAKER_00: So you turn off the alarm and nobody saw it happen.
• 1:25
  SPEAKER_00: You went back to bed, got a couple more minutes, and you woke up and you know, hmm, nobody was paying attention.
• 1:31
  SPEAKER_00: But your word, right?
• 1:33
  SPEAKER_00: Your word is more than something you say.
• 1:35
  SPEAKER_00: It's the evidence of who you are.
• 1:38
  SPEAKER_00: Every promise is a prediction.
• 1:41
  SPEAKER_00: When you say, I'll be there at eight, I'll send it on Friday, or you know, I'll complete that workout, you're predicting your future behavior.
• 1:47
  SPEAKER_00: And other people, their time is being planned around your prediction.
• 1:52
  SPEAKER_00: When you promise something to yourself, you know, you create that same expectation of yourself internally.
• 1:58
  SPEAKER_00: You're setting up who you need to be, what you need to get done, and where you need to go.
• 2:04
  SPEAKER_00: Keep the promise and you collect evidence that your decisions mean something.
• 2:07
  SPEAKER_00: But when you break those promises repeatedly and you're just teaching yourself that the plans are just optional, what you're supposed to do is maybe not really what you're supposed to do or need you're supposed to do.
• 2:21
  SPEAKER_00: And your feelings they can override those commitments.
• 2:24
  SPEAKER_00: You know, confidence is not created only when you have this by positive thinking.
• 2:29
  SPEAKER_00: It's built from the evidence that you depend on yourself.
• 2:33
  SPEAKER_00: The research shows that studies, promises and trust experts where promises were not legally binding.
• 2:39
  SPEAKER_00: This thing is that across incentivized studies, 61 to 98% of participants kept their promises even when doing so cost them money.
• 2:46
  SPEAKER_00: Think about that.
• 2:47
  SPEAKER_00: People felt so aligned to the promise they make that even if they put it in a predicament where they were going to be cost money just for the fact of keeping that promise, they would go forward.
• 2:59
  SPEAKER_00: And other research suggests the promise to strengthen cooperation between people feel duty bound to keep their word and do not want to disappoint expectations they created.
• 3:09
  SPEAKER_00: That's how strong promises can be to others.
• 3:13
  SPEAKER_00: Yet to ourselves, this is why the the careless promises are expensive.
• 3:19
  SPEAKER_00: You may forget what you said, or that person that you know who reorganized their life around you, honestly, is never gonna forget.
• 3:26
  SPEAKER_00: Think about that.
• 3:27
  SPEAKER_00: How many promises have you made where you've promised someone something and broken that promise?
• 3:34
  SPEAKER_00: How many promises have you made to yourself, maybe even this morning, that you've said you're going to do that you've broken?
• 3:40
  SPEAKER_00: You can't want.
• 3:41
  SPEAKER_00: The wanting is not the planning.
• 3:43
  SPEAKER_00: Research on promises to ourselves points to a practical tool called an implementation intention and if then plan.
• 3:50
  SPEAKER_00: If it is 6 a.m.
• 3:52
  SPEAKER_00: tomorrow morning, then I will put on my shoes and I'll begin to work out.
• 3:56
  SPEAKER_00: If I finish lunch, then I will make the sales call.
• 3:59
  SPEAKER_00: If I walk through that front door, then my phone goes down into my drawer.
• 4:04
  SPEAKER_00: If then, think about that.
• 4:07
  SPEAKER_00: Think about how one to two can lead you to success.
• 4:10
  SPEAKER_00: A meta-analysis of 94 studies found that these specific plans had a medium to large positive effect on goal achievement.
• 4:16
  SPEAKER_00: I should exercise more?
• 4:17
  SPEAKER_00: Well, hmm, that's a wish.
• 4:20
  SPEAKER_00: I will exercise at 6 a.m.
• 4:21
  SPEAKER_00: in my garage.
• 4:22
  SPEAKER_00: That's a commitment with the target.
• 4:24
  SPEAKER_00: Think about this.
• 4:25
  SPEAKER_00: The goals you're making, the promises you're making, do they have an effective if-then?
• 4:29
  SPEAKER_00: Do they have what you're going to do, when you're going to do it, and how you're going to do it?
• 4:33
  SPEAKER_00: Or you're just saying, I want to be rich.
• 4:34
  SPEAKER_00: I want to lose weight.
• 4:35
  SPEAKER_00: What are the things that you're doing?
• 4:37
  SPEAKER_00: Stop making these cheap promises.
• 4:39
  SPEAKER_00: Integrity, it does not mean saying yes.
• 4:41
  SPEAKER_00: It means understanding the cost before giving your word.
• 4:44
  SPEAKER_00: If you cannot complete something, you say no.
• 4:47
  SPEAKER_00: If you can't commit to something, you say no.
• 4:50
  SPEAKER_00: If you need more time, establish that before the deadline.
• 4:53
  SPEAKER_00: A thoughtful no builds more trust than an enthusiastic yes followed by excuses.
• 4:58
  SPEAKER_00: We all know that person that always says yes, but then can't get it all done, right?
• 5:02
  SPEAKER_00: And so ultimately, it's just better to say no.
• 5:04
  SPEAKER_00: And they say, oh, I have a hard time saying no, but then you can't commit to all the yeses.
• 5:08
  SPEAKER_00: And you can't do that to yourself too, right?
• 5:10
  SPEAKER_00: You constantly say that I want to do this, but then you never do it.
• 5:13
  SPEAKER_00: And then it becomes easy not to do it.
• 5:15
  SPEAKER_00: And you wonder why your years from now look the same as today.
• 5:20
  SPEAKER_00: If you want a different life, then you need to repeatedly do the right things day in and day out.
• 5:25
  SPEAKER_00: So the days don't look different.
• 5:26
  SPEAKER_00: But if you look back into years, it'll look extremely different because you have made the difference day in and day out.
• 5:33
  SPEAKER_00: Before agreeing to something, ask, what will this require?
• 5:37
  SPEAKER_00: When will I do it?
• 5:38
  SPEAKER_00: And what could prevent me from doing it?
• 5:41
  SPEAKER_00: Am I committed or am I just trying not to avoid uh disappointing someone right now?
• 5:45
  SPEAKER_00: That's the big thing.
• 5:46
  SPEAKER_00: Lots of times we're saying yes because we don't want to disappoint someone.
• 5:49
  SPEAKER_00: But then ultimately we have so many things that we're gonna disappoint people.
• 5:52
  SPEAKER_00: Think about that.
• 5:53
  SPEAKER_00: The easy answer is to say, yes, I got it.
• 5:55
  SPEAKER_00: But then ultimately, you you go in hiding and then you don't make it happen.
• 5:58
  SPEAKER_00: Do not use tomorrow's time to purchase today's approval.
• 6:01
  SPEAKER_00: You know, I had someone make a commitment to me two months ago, said it's all good, 100%, didn't miss that commitment that was supposed to happen 30 days ago, and said, Oh, we're still good.
• 6:10
  SPEAKER_00: And then all in fact, out of nowhere, 30 days later, said, Oh, I can't make this commitment after we had prepared all that time.
• 6:17
  SPEAKER_00: Very easily that they could have just said, no, I can't do this uh the first day, 60 days ago.
• 6:22
  SPEAKER_00: However, it tains the relationship when they do this and ultimately don't come through when they could have just said no in the first place.
• 6:29
  SPEAKER_00: And no in the first place is absolutely fine.
• 6:30
  SPEAKER_00: I wouldn't have been offended.
• 6:31
  SPEAKER_00: I was offended by the actions, the actions of not keeping a promise made.
• 6:36
  SPEAKER_00: That's life.
• 6:37
  SPEAKER_00: I move on, I find a new way.
• 6:40
  SPEAKER_00: However, you have to keep your promises to you and to others.
• 6:45
  SPEAKER_00: Here's the keep system.
• 6:46
  SPEAKER_00: Keep the promise specific.
• 6:48
  SPEAKER_00: That's the K.
• 6:49
  SPEAKER_00: Define exactly what uh you will do and when.
• 6:52
  SPEAKER_00: I'll send it soon.
• 6:54
  SPEAKER_00: Okay, soon as next week, soon as seven minutes, soon as tomorrow.
• 6:58
  SPEAKER_00: I'll send it by 3 p.m.
• 7:00
  SPEAKER_00: Thursday.
• 7:00
  SPEAKER_00: That's queer.
• 7:01
  SPEAKER_00: E.
• 7:02
  SPEAKER_00: Evaluate the cost before agreeing.
• 7:03
  SPEAKER_00: You check your calendar, your energy, and your responsibilities.
• 7:06
  SPEAKER_00: You make sure the promise is realistic before you make it.
• 7:08
  SPEAKER_00: Is this promise something I can realistically complete?
• 7:13
  SPEAKER_00: E.
• 7:13
  SPEAKER_00: Execute with an if-then plan.
• 7:17
  SPEAKER_00: Decide when and where these actions will happen.
• 7:19
  SPEAKER_00: If it's nine on Tuesday morning, then I will close my email and finish that proposal.
• 7:24
  SPEAKER_00: If-then.
• 7:25
  SPEAKER_00: And P promptly communicate problems.
• 7:28
  SPEAKER_00: Circumstances, they change.
• 7:30
  SPEAKER_00: Especially if you're an entrepreneur.
• 7:31
  SPEAKER_00: Each and every day you have a perfect plan.
• 7:33
  SPEAKER_00: It's like Mike Tyson, didn't you get punched in the face, right?
• 7:35
  SPEAKER_00: And then that plan, who knows where it went?
• 7:38
  SPEAKER_00: Circumstances, they are gonna change.
• 7:40
  SPEAKER_00: Integrity does not require pretending that they have it.
• 7:42
  SPEAKER_00: Communicate early.
• 7:44
  SPEAKER_00: Accept the responsibility for how it's changed and establish a new agreement.
• 7:48
  SPEAKER_00: Renegotiating, honestly, it gives you a trust and a chance to survive.
• 7:53
  SPEAKER_00: Do the work.
• 7:54
  SPEAKER_00: Commit to yourself.
• 7:56
  SPEAKER_00: And today just start with one promise.
• 7:59
  SPEAKER_00: You know, don't leave this episode and go out there and say, I'm gonna make 10 commitments, right?
• 8:03
  SPEAKER_00: Tomorrow I'm gonna cook dinner every night and I'm gonna wake up at 4 a.m.
• 8:06
  SPEAKER_00: and run 20 miles, and I'm gonna make 73 sales calls, and I'm going to, you know, commit to doing this by lunchtime.
• 8:14
  SPEAKER_00: Choose one promise to yourself that you will keep for the next seven days and make it small enough.
• 8:19
  SPEAKER_00: This is where it is.
• 8:20
  SPEAKER_00: Make it small enough that you can complete it and important enough that it matters.
• 8:24
  SPEAKER_00: You know how important it is to set a track record for yourself in a positive fashion.
• 8:29
  SPEAKER_00: Maybe it is something I'm gonna walk for 20 minutes after lunch, or every day at 7:30, I'm gonna read to my child for 10 minutes, or I'm gonna finish my most important task before opening uh social media and I'm gonna be in bed by 10:30.
• 8:42
  SPEAKER_00: Then choose one outstanding promise you made to another person and go and complete it.
• 8:47
  SPEAKER_00: Or contact a person and just, you know, tell them the truth.
• 8:49
  SPEAKER_00: Like, hey, listen, I told you I was gonna do this, but I'm not gonna be able to.
• 8:54
  SPEAKER_00: Be honest, be upfront.
• 8:55
  SPEAKER_00: Every kept promise is deposit into your reputation.
• 8:58
  SPEAKER_00: That includes your reputation to yourself.
• 9:01
  SPEAKER_00: You think it doesn't matter that each day that you don't tell yourself, uh, that you don't do what you tell yourself.
• 9:05
  SPEAKER_00: You don't think that matters.
• 9:07
  SPEAKER_00: You may just pass it off and shrug it off, but your mind knows.
• 9:11
  SPEAKER_00: Your memory knows, everything knows.
• 9:13
  SPEAKER_00: You don't need to just become perfect.
• 9:17
  SPEAKER_00: Perfect is not the answer here.
• 9:18
  SPEAKER_00: Perfect is not live 100.
• 9:20
  SPEAKER_00: Perfect is not the world of entrepreneurship.
• 9:23
  SPEAKER_00: You need to just become dependable to you and to others.
• 9:27
  SPEAKER_00: Say less, promise carefully, schedule the action, and do what you said you would do.
• 9:34
  SPEAKER_00: Your family, it needs your word to mean something.
• 9:38
  SPEAKER_00: Your team, it needs your word to mean something.
• 9:41
  SPEAKER_00: Your future needs your word to mean something.
• 9:46
  SPEAKER_00: Take action today.
• 9:47
  SPEAKER_00: Keep one promise and make it happen.
• 9:50
  SPEAKER_00: All right, that's what I have for you today.
• 9:52
  SPEAKER_00: This is the Little Munch Podcast.
• 9:53
  SPEAKER_00: I'm Jason Russi.
• 9:54
  SPEAKER_00: Let's do this.