Latest / Morrow Marriage | Disrupting Divorce / An Affair Is a Symptom | How to Recover From an Affair? | The 'NEW' Marriage | Ep443

Transcript

An Affair Is a Symptom | How to Recover From an Affair? | The 'NEW' Marriage | Ep443 · Morrow Marriage | Disrupting Divorce

• 0:00
  SPEAKER_00: Affairs, affairs, affairs, affairs, affairs, affairs.
• 0:05
  SPEAKER_00: No more, Mr.
• 0:05
  SPEAKER_00: Nice Guy.
• 0:06
  SPEAKER_00: Why your partner disrespects you and how you have the power to influence a different lifestyle, a different adventure for your marriage.
• 0:15
  SPEAKER_00: Will this work for me?
• 0:16
  SPEAKER_00: Stop sending miles of text messages.
• 0:19
  SPEAKER_00: Your wife withholding sex from you.
• 0:21
  SPEAKER_00: Truth, integrity, moving fast, and sound decisions.
• 0:25
  SPEAKER_00: Affairs, affairs, affairs, affairs, affairs, affairs.
• 0:31
  SPEAKER_00: Welcome to the More Marriage Podcast, guys, where I am frustrated.
• 0:36
  SPEAKER_00: We're not taking questions right now.
• 0:38
  SPEAKER_00: We are going through some of the things that you just need to hear.
• 0:43
  SPEAKER_00: Why is it that we've been putting out content for three years now?
• 0:47
  SPEAKER_00: So many episodes that talk about affair, which is a symptom, not the issue, where we can get into all the other things like betrayal of different kinds of different sorts, whether it's Instagram, porn, whatever, go listen to the other episodes.
• 1:00
  SPEAKER_00: Uh, where we can talk about all the things that are affected, either the layers before or the layers after, layers before could include things like safety, peace, not knowing how to apologize, not knowing how to empathize, all these things before.
• 1:12
  SPEAKER_00: Then those can be amplified with the layers after the affair or whatever betrayal.
• 1:17
  SPEAKER_00: Why is it that we can be talking about this stuff for years?
• 1:19
  SPEAKER_00: And yet every single week we do a call-and-talk show, we get you guys asking the same fucking question about affairs.
• 1:28
  SPEAKER_00: You guys, you will never move yourself forward if you only choose to sit in your pain and blame your partner.
• 1:38
  SPEAKER_00: You enabled everything to happen.
• 1:39
  SPEAKER_00: I have a song coming up called The Affair Is Your Fault.
• 1:42
  SPEAKER_00: That's your jam if you've had an affair if they've had an affair or betrayed you.
• 1:46
  SPEAKER_00: That's your jam.
• 1:47
  SPEAKER_00: Don't sit in eggshells or don't have to fuck someone to cheat to feel validated.
• 1:51
  SPEAKER_00: Your jam is to learn to grow and not be the same person that listen, if you're fucking awesome, nobody's having an affair on you.
• 2:00
  SPEAKER_00: That's just it.
• 2:01
  SPEAKER_00: Nobody abuses, kicks somebody, unless they're like fucked in the head today.
• 2:05
  SPEAKER_00: Nobody's abusing you, kicking you the balls, nobody's screaming at you all night long.
• 2:09
  SPEAKER_00: Well, you're fucking awesome, but I was fucked in the head.
• 2:12
  SPEAKER_00: But I was fucked in the head, okay?
• 2:14
  SPEAKER_00: Nobody's leaving you if you're amazing.
• 2:17
  SPEAKER_00: Get it through your head.
• 2:19
  SPEAKER_00: You they made a bad choice with an affair, but you call in and waste valuable time learning how to grow, asking about the affair instead of asking, I will go over everything that led to the affair over and over until you get it.
• 2:34
  SPEAKER_00: I'll do that every week.
• 2:36
  SPEAKER_00: We need to have that lesson for all of you every week so that you can undo, because insecurity is a bridge.
• 2:42
  SPEAKER_00: I know from our relationship, I know from other relationships that we've healed, I know that if you actually wanted to heal instead of stay in your pain and I can't trust boo-hoo, then fucking leave.
• 2:54
  SPEAKER_00: Every time you want to blame, then fucking leave.
• 2:57
  SPEAKER_00: If you're just gonna complain, nag, be resentful and anger, you're not a part of disrupting divorce.
• 3:04
  SPEAKER_00: Right there, disrupting divorce.
• 3:06
  SPEAKER_00: You're not a part of it.
• 3:07
  SPEAKER_00: You can take it, burn it, no way, give it to somebody who gives a fuck, and then get the fuck out of the out of the way.
• 3:13
  SPEAKER_00: Because you guys, it's like you're in the slow lane or sorry, in the fast lane and driving your slow ass car.
• 3:20
  SPEAKER_00: Well, I do that for my wife because she gets anxiety when we drive.
• 3:22
  SPEAKER_00: But he drives the speed limit.
• 3:24
  SPEAKER_00: He doesn't drive slow.
• 3:25
  SPEAKER_00: Sometimes that will depends where we are.
• 3:27
  SPEAKER_00: Will.
• 3:27
  SPEAKER_00: Especially if we're in the Chevelle.
• 3:29
  SPEAKER_00: She does not like, she feels like, anyways, you guys are holding up and taking space from people who actually want more because you'd rather blame and you'd rather sit in your pain for what they did to you affair.
• 3:40
  SPEAKER_00: So every week, week after week, the same question.
• 3:44
  SPEAKER_00: I'm at the point where I might just like film regular podcasts while we're live, ignore your questions, especially if it's on affair.
• 3:50
  SPEAKER_00: Because if you don't want real help, then you're not going to move anywhere.
• 3:54
  SPEAKER_00: And we can move past the affair.
• 3:56
  SPEAKER_00: I mean, I sent DMs out where people they get the resources and they come back with, well, what does it cost?
• 4:04
  SPEAKER_00: Did you fucking click the book link or what?
• 4:08
  SPEAKER_00: No wonder you can't get help.
• 4:10
  SPEAKER_00: If you ask a question, it's stupid.
• 4:13
  SPEAKER_00: It is.
• 4:14
  SPEAKER_00: They say there's no such thing as a stupid question.
• 4:17
  SPEAKER_00: If all I have to do is scroll, click, oh, it's$30 for a book.
• 4:22
  SPEAKER_00: Well, I know his course must cost something, but I'm gonna choose to have gratitude because I listen to that podcast episode with Cask Catherine, and they talk about gratitude.
• 4:29
  SPEAKER_00: I'm so I'm thankful that they wrote a$30 book for each of them because they there's people that couldn't afford a course.
• 4:34
  SPEAKER_00: No, no, no.
• 4:35
  SPEAKER_00: You're too lazy.
• 4:36
  SPEAKER_00: You send a little text message back saying what does it cost?
• 4:40
  SPEAKER_00: Holy shit.
• 4:41
  SPEAKER_00: That's how much you blame.
• 4:43
  SPEAKER_00: You blame so much that you're now entitled and you've enabled yourself to ask dumb questions because you can't even read.
• 4:50
  SPEAKER_00: Well, does the book work?
• 4:52
  SPEAKER_00: Did you read the reviews?
• 4:55
  SPEAKER_00: Like, seriously, like come on.
• 4:58
  SPEAKER_00: You guys, if you waste time on stupid shit, you're gonna be stupider.
• 5:02
  SPEAKER_00: That's how this works.
• 5:03
  SPEAKER_00: If you invest in yourself, you grow and you learn.
• 5:07
  SPEAKER_00: So, no, the affair is your fault, and we don't need to talk about it over and over again.
• 5:11
  SPEAKER_00: You need to learn.
• 5:13
  SPEAKER_00: Go figure out why it happened.
• 5:15
  SPEAKER_00: Ask the question why are is are the two R's on our shirt facing each other?
• 5:20
  SPEAKER_00: It's not because we're cute and want to hold hands and sit close.
• 5:23
  SPEAKER_00: Which we are though.
• 5:24
  SPEAKER_00: We it's sure, but it's because that's the first thing on the list to betray.
• 5:29
  SPEAKER_00: It's turning towards instead of turning away.
• 5:32
  SPEAKER_00: Every time your partner says morning, and you're like because it's the morning.
• 5:38
  SPEAKER_00: That's not really a turn towards.
• 5:40
  SPEAKER_00: Like you guys, every week you ask the same question.
• 5:45
  SPEAKER_00: It's not always the same person, but the thing is, you're choosing to sit in your pain, you're choosing to scroll on social media to feel validated, you're choosing to talk to people that will let you know it's okay to leave them for hurting you, like the affair.
• 6:02
  SPEAKER_00: You're choosing, you're choosing, you're choosing.
• 6:05
  SPEAKER_00: Listen, our information is for those of you who one of you at the bare minimum wants to stay or is just not fucking leaving.
• 6:14
  SPEAKER_00: Yeah, that's it.
• 6:16
  SPEAKER_00: That's most important.
• 6:18
  SPEAKER_00: Now that we've been writing songs, these songs are going out, and we're getting more couples in we've ever seen before in all the years.
• 6:26
  SPEAKER_00: Up until now, it was typically 95%, one percent in, or they're in because they must, because they're not leaving.
• 6:35
  SPEAKER_00: Staying for the vows, staying for the kids.
• 6:36
  SPEAKER_00: I don't really care.
• 6:37
  SPEAKER_00: Saying because they see something in their partner.
• 6:39
  SPEAKER_00: They have a reason.
• 6:41
  SPEAKER_00: They don't ask stupid questions, they go to the resources.
• 6:45
  SPEAKER_00: I had a woman this week send a DM looking at the resource tab and said, It's way too much information, it's too clinky.
• 6:53
  SPEAKER_00: Listen, look, it says you can talk to Cancer Catholic, scroll down a little bit.
• 6:57
  SPEAKER_00: If you prefer to listen on a podcast, you scroll down a little bit.
• 7:00
  SPEAKER_00: If you prefer to read, scroll down a little bit.
• 7:02
  SPEAKER_00: How is that too much?
• 7:05
  SPEAKER_00: This is your problem.
• 7:06
  SPEAKER_00: I sent her a DM and I was like, Well, now I know why you're not getting it over your marriage.
• 7:11
  SPEAKER_00: You're too um, I can't remember if I said lazy.
• 7:13
  SPEAKER_00: I don't think I would have gotten that far on a DM.
• 7:15
  SPEAKER_00: It depends on how many DMs you had prior to that that pissed you off.
• 7:17
  SPEAKER_00: It's true.
• 7:18
  SPEAKER_00: But I said, like, that's why you have problems in marriage.
• 7:21
  SPEAKER_00: Like, just you click the link and scroll to what is valuable for you.
• 7:25
  SPEAKER_00: Like, what in the world?
• 7:26
  SPEAKER_00: Do you know who who else gives that many resources?
• 7:29
  SPEAKER_00: Nobody.
• 7:30
  SPEAKER_00: Like, good God.
• 7:31
  SPEAKER_00: Do you know how many more coaching calls that we give than everybody else?
• 7:34
  SPEAKER_00: Oh, we blow everything out of the water.
• 7:35
  SPEAKER_00: Nobody competes.
• 7:36
  SPEAKER_00: Nobody in our company can compete with them.
• 7:38
  SPEAKER_00: Nothing, not even club.
• 7:39
  SPEAKER_00: No.
• 7:40
  SPEAKER_00: Do you know how many times we try to be innovative?
• 7:41
  SPEAKER_00: Why do you think I'm writing songs?
• 7:42
  SPEAKER_00: Innovation to connect with you, to show you.
• 7:45
  SPEAKER_00: And what do you guys do with it to bastardize it and turn it into, oh, I feel validated and crazy and become a little bit harder.
• 7:51
  SPEAKER_00: It's unfucking real.
• 7:53
  SPEAKER_00: Do you know how many voice notes I have to send in a day saying, well, maybe you missed this part of the story?
• 7:56
  SPEAKER_00: I emotionally, physically, and sexually assaulted Catherine for years daily, and she uploads me to grow, to learn who I was, peel the label of abuser off, peel the label of a narcissist off, and become somebody that you all want your man to be like or you want to be like, so you can have what we have.
• 8:13
  SPEAKER_00: But you call in every week and ask the same stupid questions?
• 8:15
  SPEAKER_00: You know what?
• 8:16
  SPEAKER_00: That's selfish.
• 8:17
  SPEAKER_00: I would start there in your marriage.
• 8:19
  SPEAKER_00: That is so selfish that you would see something on a feed, call in and ask, and not pay attention first if we've addressed it for you.
• 8:26
  SPEAKER_00: Because you're taking from other people.
• 8:28
  SPEAKER_00: And that being said, that's the final thing I want to say.
• 8:30
  SPEAKER_00: And then I've ranted, so I don't know if Cash wants to say anything, but no, the next podcast is gonna be nicer.
• 8:36
  SPEAKER_00: It's got three in a row that's built a little hard on you.
• 8:38
  SPEAKER_00: Casting your ass.
• 8:38
  SPEAKER_00: How many followers were just lost?
• 8:41
  SPEAKER_00: Not because they want more.
• 8:43
  SPEAKER_00: They do.
• 8:43
  SPEAKER_00: Now I lost my train of thought.
• 8:45
  SPEAKER_00: So you were gonna say one more thing, and then you were gonna go.
• 8:48
  SPEAKER_00: I want you guys to think about this.
• 8:50
  SPEAKER_00: If you want more, you can have more, but you're gonna have to be less selective.
• 8:55
  SPEAKER_00: It's like I gave them a big rant.
• 8:57
  SPEAKER_00: Remember, I was with you about swearing.
• 8:58
  SPEAKER_00: You like the message, you don't like to swear.
• 9:01
  SPEAKER_00: Good God, you said worse things to your spouse.
• 9:04
  SPEAKER_00: Today's episode is about you guys being so selfish and entitled that's the reason why they had the affair.
• 9:11
  SPEAKER_00: It's the reason why they're leaving.
• 9:12
  SPEAKER_00: It's not even that you enabled it, you are so selfish, even in the outgrowing that we talked about a couple episodes ago.
• 9:17
  SPEAKER_00: You are so selfish that you are never gonna have the life that you want, and there's a reason why we're not talking about first or second or even third divorces anymore.
• 9:26
  SPEAKER_00: They're using statistics fourth and fifth, or the amount of DMs, oh my god, you baby victims, saying, You know what, I'm just gonna be single forever.
• 9:37
  SPEAKER_00: Guys, think about what I'm talking about today.
• 9:39
  SPEAKER_00: Or fucking leave, quit, be broke forever, overweight, and hate your life.
• 9:43
  SPEAKER_00: That's a you problem.
• 9:45
  SPEAKER_00: Your choices.
• 9:45
  SPEAKER_00: I want more for you.
• 9:47
  SPEAKER_00: See ya.