Latest / Mental Health and the Mission of the Church / Enduring Authentic Happiness.

Transcript

Enduring Authentic Happiness. · Mental Health and the Mission of the Church

• 0:02
  SPEAKER_00: All right, good to be with you guys again.
• 0:05
  SPEAKER_00: Um I want to follow up on last week.
• 0:07
  SPEAKER_00: We were talking about enduring um authentic happiness.
• 0:14
  SPEAKER_00: Enduring authentic happiness.
• 0:15
  SPEAKER_00: I got a message that distracted me, that's why I I paused.
• 0:19
  SPEAKER_00: Um and it was from a book that I read, and um it just captures some things and helps me say some things that I want want us to look at and and work on.
• 0:29
  SPEAKER_00: And and part of what I was after last week is is kind of highlighting why we why why do I do this?
• 0:35
  SPEAKER_00: You know, why do we do this week after week?
• 0:38
  SPEAKER_00: Um because here's the deal, man, life's short, you get one of them, you don't get any more.
• 0:44
  SPEAKER_00: And um I want to live to the fullest.
• 0:47
  SPEAKER_00: I what I mean, what do you mean?
• 0:49
  SPEAKER_00: I want to live to the full.
• 0:50
  SPEAKER_00: I I want to enjoy life, I want to accomplish things, I want to live a life that matters, etc.
• 0:55
  SPEAKER_00: etc.
• 0:56
  SPEAKER_00: And and I want that for you.
• 0:58
  SPEAKER_00: I want uh um I want to help if if you can forgive me for the arrogance of that statement.
• 1:05
  SPEAKER_00: So I'm gonna review real quick the the results of this book's research.
• 1:09
  SPEAKER_00: So uh Martin Seligman wrote the book.
• 1:14
  SPEAKER_00: Um and uh they they studied happiness, they studied what they call authentic happiness, and and I believe for us we could insert the word joy because what they meant was not not your surface moments, you know, where you laugh at a joke kind of happiness, but they meant authentic.
• 1:31
  SPEAKER_00: And then they even added the word enduring authentic happiness.
• 1:35
  SPEAKER_00: Enduring, in other words, states of uh well-being, uh joy, peace, uh, etc., that that last.
• 1:45
  SPEAKER_00: They don't just go and then back down.
• 1:48
  SPEAKER_00: They they last.
• 1:49
  SPEAKER_00: Now, let's get it out of the way.
• 1:51
  SPEAKER_00: You're gonna have spikes both up and down, but what we want to talk about is how can I maintain a fairly consistent range where uh that I like, by the way, that that I'm that I'm okay with.
• 2:06
  SPEAKER_00: So they studied it, and here's what they found.
• 2:08
  SPEAKER_00: They found three factors.
• 2:10
  SPEAKER_00: Three factors, they boiled it down to all the different factors you could think of that would affect your enduring authentic happiness, and they boiled it down to three factors.
• 2:19
  SPEAKER_00: One, two, three, and they gave percentages to each.
• 2:22
  SPEAKER_00: Factor one was uh what they called your your uh happiness thermostat.
• 2:29
  SPEAKER_00: And when they say happiness, they mean your emotional range thermostat.
• 2:33
  SPEAKER_00: In other words, from your family, in your family, you both inherited and learned.
• 2:38
  SPEAKER_00: Inherited and learned.
• 2:39
  SPEAKER_00: If I were speaking to you live, I'd say this.
• 2:41
  SPEAKER_00: Say this after me.
• 2:42
  SPEAKER_00: Inherited and learned.
• 2:43
  SPEAKER_00: In other words, you you physiologically inherited things, and then you also learn things.
• 2:50
  SPEAKER_00: And what it creates is a range, really important word, a range for emotions, a range for joy, uh uh uh exuberance, risk taking, fear, uh intimacy.
• 3:04
  SPEAKER_00: Do I, you know, um those some of those aren't exactly emotions, but you understand what I mean.
• 3:10
  SPEAKER_00: You inherit from your family a range.
• 3:11
  SPEAKER_00: You know, you know some people that are just ah all the time.
• 3:14
  SPEAKER_00: And you know some people that are flat, and you get very little, hmm, I wonder what's going on there.
• 3:19
  SPEAKER_00: Well, a lot of that is inherited and learned thermostat settings.
• 3:25
  SPEAKER_00: Now, guess what they found your thermostat setting?
• 3:28
  SPEAKER_00: How much effect did your thermostat setting have?
• 3:32
  SPEAKER_00: Well, they came up with 50%, 5-0.
• 3:36
  SPEAKER_00: In other words, half.
• 3:38
  SPEAKER_00: Now, good news, bad news.
• 3:40
  SPEAKER_00: Well, here's what I think.
• 3:42
  SPEAKER_00: I think whatever your range is, it is.
• 3:46
  SPEAKER_00: In other words, oh, well, I'm just gonna believe God to change it.
• 3:48
  SPEAKER_00: Well, have at it, but you know, come back when you're tired.
• 3:52
  SPEAKER_00: But what I do think you can do is you can you can learn things that help you live at the top of your range.
• 4:00
  SPEAKER_00: And uh the reason I stress that and get a little sarcastic there, come back when you're tired, is uh I think we spend a lot of time and energy trying to become something that it's gonna be really hard for us to become.
• 4:13
  SPEAKER_00: And um there's some things in life, you know, I've got to embrace them and I've got to figure out how to work with them.
• 4:20
  SPEAKER_00: And the way we were made genetically from the two people that created us, and the things that we learned, the experiences we had in our early childhood, have laid a foundation for kind of the person that we've become.
• 4:36
  SPEAKER_00: And some of it, not all of it, but some of it, is pretty tricky to change.
• 4:41
  SPEAKER_00: All right, so first one, uh happiness thermostat.
• 4:45
  SPEAKER_00: Second one they studied or discovered is life circumstances.
• 4:49
  SPEAKER_00: Now, most people, if you ask them straight up, they'll tell you, oh, life circumstances are the key to everything.
• 4:53
  SPEAKER_00: Well, they're not.
• 4:54
  SPEAKER_00: They studied um, you know, um people that win the lottery, they studied people that suffer severe loss.
• 5:02
  SPEAKER_00: In other words, they studied high highs and low lows.
• 5:05
  SPEAKER_00: And what they found was that after a reasonable period of time, could be three months, six months, a year, two years, whatever, after a reasonable period of time, both groups were kind of back in their range.
• 5:21
  SPEAKER_00: In other words, what they found was that life circumstances can bump you up or down, but eventually you're gonna land back in the range that your your thermostat kind of puts you in.
• 5:36
  SPEAKER_00: So, happiness thermostat 50%.
• 5:39
  SPEAKER_00: Guess what life circumstances?
• 5:41
  SPEAKER_00: 10%, peeps.
• 5:43
  SPEAKER_00: 10% of your enduring authentic happiness or your enduring authentic emotional states, this the feelings that you feel on a daily basis, 50% are inherited, learned early in life, 10% are based on uh the circumstances of your life.
• 6:04
  SPEAKER_00: You know what?
• 6:05
  SPEAKER_00: You could almost say that's why I do this right here.
• 6:07
  SPEAKER_00: Why I do this is to help jar you, shake you.
• 6:10
  SPEAKER_00: If you're in front of me, I'd you know, slap you a few times, not really.
• 6:13
  SPEAKER_00: But what I want to say to you is your life circumstances, yes, they affect you.
• 6:18
  SPEAKER_00: And short term, they can affect you a lot.
• 6:22
  SPEAKER_00: But the long-term enduring effect of your life circumstances is dependent on how you process them, handle them, and that's going on up here and in here, head and heart.
• 6:35
  SPEAKER_00: And you can even learn to affect on a day-to-day basis how the little ripples of life affect you.
• 6:44
  SPEAKER_00: So 50% happiness thermostat, 10% life circumstances.
• 6:48
  SPEAKER_00: If you're a good math person, that's 60%, what does that leave?
• 6:51
  SPEAKER_00: 40?
• 6:52
  SPEAKER_00: Guess what they found?
• 6:53
  SPEAKER_00: Remember, I told you three.
• 6:54
  SPEAKER_00: Guess what they found the last one was?
• 6:56
  SPEAKER_00: Things, and again, that sounds vague, things that are under your control that you can learn to change.
• 7:02
  SPEAKER_00: Hmm.
• 7:03
  SPEAKER_00: So, happiness thermostat, I can I can work to stay in the top range.
• 7:07
  SPEAKER_00: Life circumstances, I can't change some circumstances, but I can change how they affect me.
• 7:13
  SPEAKER_00: And then the third thing is wait a minute, man, things under my control.
• 7:17
  SPEAKER_00: You know what's the biggest one?
• 7:18
  SPEAKER_00: And it's what we kicked off with last week.
• 7:21
  SPEAKER_00: Like I told you, we're calling this season three.
• 7:24
  SPEAKER_00: But um as a man thinks in his heart, so is he.
• 7:28
  SPEAKER_00: As a woman thinks in her heart, so is she.
• 7:32
  SPEAKER_00: How we think, how we think, how we think, what we think.
• 7:36
  SPEAKER_00: How we think means the the the mechanics of uh how many of you know you can you can be a sloppy thinker, or you can be a skilled thinker, you can be uh uh kind of an accidental, you know, reactive thinker, or you can be an intentional responsive thinker.
• 8:00
  SPEAKER_00: Y'all know there's a difference between reacting and responding, right?
• 8:04
  SPEAKER_00: So, what are we gonna be looking at here?
• 8:06
  SPEAKER_00: We're gonna be looking at how to work with that 40%.
• 8:10
  SPEAKER_00: Here's the deal, guys.
• 8:11
  SPEAKER_00: If I told you that there's 60% of the way you're created, that we're gonna maximize the best we can, but we can't directly change it.
• 8:23
  SPEAKER_00: But there's 40% of your joy, 40% of your peace, 40% of your ability to absorb the shocks of life, that we can, I mean, pure tea maximize.
• 8:38
  SPEAKER_00: I hope you'd be interested.
• 8:39
  SPEAKER_00: And that's what we're all about.
• 8:40
  SPEAKER_00: We're all about as you think, so you are, and the intricacies of that.
• 8:47
  SPEAKER_00: So, what we're gonna talk as we go forward, probably what we're gonna get into next week is something that I felt like the Lord challenged me with recently, and that was this thought.
• 8:58
  SPEAKER_00: If God gave you three wishes, if God gave you three wishes for this year, what would you ask for?
• 9:06
  SPEAKER_00: If God gave you three wishes this year, what would you ask for?
• 9:10
  SPEAKER_00: And what we're gonna talk about is how that creates an important point of uh focus, if you will, in your heart and mind.
• 9:20
  SPEAKER_00: All right?
• 9:20
  SPEAKER_00: We're gonna get into that later.
• 9:22
  SPEAKER_00: And uh love you guys, and I hope you're getting something out of this, man.
• 9:25
  SPEAKER_00: I'm so proud that you guys keep keep hanging around.
• 9:28
  SPEAKER_00: I'm honored by just your hanging in there with me.
• 9:32
  SPEAKER_00: All right?
• 9:32
  SPEAKER_00: Share this stuff with your friends, and uh man, let's let's get inside each other's heads and make it better.
• 9:39
  SPEAKER_00: Let's let's clean up each other's heads.
• 9:40
  SPEAKER_00: How about that?
• 9:41
  SPEAKER_00: All right, later, man.
• 9:43
  SPEAKER_00: Love you guys.