Latest / Daily Influence / 768. Elevating Your Emotional Quotient: The Journey to Emotional Intelligence (rerun)

Transcript

768. Elevating Your Emotional Quotient: The Journey to Emotional Intelligence (rerun) · Daily Influence

• 0:10
  [SPEAKER_01]: Welcome to Daily Influence, your daily dose of positive influence.
• 0:14
  [SPEAKER_01]: I'm Brian Smith founder of IA Business Advisors and co-author of the Iain team series.
• 0:19
  [SPEAKER_01]: Each day we share stories and insights to help you find be and build your influence in a positive and responsible way.
• 0:27
  [SPEAKER_00]: And I'm Greg Kleeneau, partner at IA Business Advisors, and co-host of Daily Influence.
• 0:32
  [SPEAKER_00]: Be sure to follow, subscribe, and share Daily Influence with someone who could use a little extra positivity today.
• 0:38
  [SPEAKER_00]: And make us part of your daily routine, whether it's during your commute, on a walk, or an quiet moment just for you, because you're influenced matters.
• 0:47
  [SPEAKER_01]: Hey everybody, Brian Smith here with the INT and series and your Daily Influence.
• 0:54
  [SPEAKER_01]: We're going to tackle a topic today that, well, can be quite difficult for us to listen to.
• 1:01
  [SPEAKER_01]: It's emotional intelligence.
• 1:03
  [SPEAKER_01]: And within emotional intelligence today, we're going to be talking about self-awareness and self-regulation when we become aware.
• 1:12
  [SPEAKER_01]: A lot of us like to think, well, you know, I don't need any help understanding my intelligence when it comes to my emotions.
• 1:18
  [SPEAKER_01]: I know I get mad.
• 1:19
  [SPEAKER_01]: I know what makes me mad.
• 1:21
  [SPEAKER_01]: I'm pretty smart on my triggers.
• 1:23
  [SPEAKER_01]: But the question is, do we?
• 1:25
  [SPEAKER_01]: Do we really understand?
• 1:29
  [SPEAKER_01]: What it is, we project out into the world.
• 1:31
  [SPEAKER_01]: We can't see ourselves unless we're looking in the mirror and we're never looking in the mirror, really when we're dealing with other people.
• 1:38
  [SPEAKER_01]: We can't see how we react.
• 1:40
  [SPEAKER_01]: We can't see how we come across.
• 1:42
  [SPEAKER_01]: We can't see any of that.
• 1:43
  [SPEAKER_01]: And when people tell us about what they observe, most of us go into fight or flight, we either get very defensive, or we get very argumentative.
• 1:53
  [SPEAKER_01]: We move into self-justification mode, so developing some tools.
• 1:59
  [SPEAKER_01]: to increase, to improve our emotional intelligence and become more self-aware so that we can have better more improved self-regulation.
• 2:10
  [SPEAKER_01]: We feel as part of the entire individual, positive, responsible influence model that we're trying to teach here and practice here at the I&TM series.
• 2:21
  [SPEAKER_01]: The first step is developing self-awareness, just understanding ourselves and who we are.
• 2:28
  [SPEAKER_01]: individual influence, find the eye and team was all about this, finding yourself.
• 2:33
  [SPEAKER_01]: We walk people through the process of reflecting and understanding who we are, what makes us.
• 2:40
  [SPEAKER_01]: Remember, one of the things that we described to here is, I am we, I am the accumulation of every interaction with every human good and bad.
• 2:49
  [SPEAKER_01]: And no, I don't dwell on all of that.
• 2:52
  [SPEAKER_01]: But it's still there within our conscious subconscious and unconscious biases lie those interactions.
• 3:01
  [SPEAKER_01]: To become really emotionally intelligent, however, we have to reflect regularly, set aside time daily, weekly, preferably, bi-weekly.
• 3:12
  [SPEAKER_01]: But the more often you can sit back and just think,
• 3:15
  [SPEAKER_01]: about an interaction you've had, one maybe that you came away with was uncomfortable that upset you, that caused emotion and look at it, look at it, if you can with an outside eye.
• 3:28
  [SPEAKER_01]: Get a journal right down.
• 3:30
  [SPEAKER_01]: record the interaction to try to get better understanding and work on having objectivity in that self-reflection.
• 3:39
  [SPEAKER_01]: It's easy to lie to ourselves, but it's also kind of easy to be honest with ourselves.
• 3:45
  [SPEAKER_01]: We have nothing to fear, so use that time to look at how you are reacting, how you are acting, how you are dealing with certain situations and ask for feedback.
• 3:57
  [SPEAKER_01]: Find someone or some many ones in your area of influence that can give you some constructive feedback.
• 4:06
  [SPEAKER_01]: Ask about your body language, ask about your tone, ask about your triggers.
• 4:11
  [SPEAKER_01]: ask about their experience and set yourself up at a time to be objective about it to not be triggered.
• 4:19
  [SPEAKER_01]: And if you can't do that, you need to walk away and come back and ask that question at a time when you can actually hear what someone might be saying.
• 4:27
  [SPEAKER_01]: To get to that point, you might want to practice some mindfulness.
• 4:31
  [SPEAKER_01]: Meditation, deep breathing, yoga, walk.
• 4:34
  [SPEAKER_01]: Anything that can help you diffuse, de-escalate those emotions inside that really challenge our emotional intelligence.
• 4:43
  [SPEAKER_01]: In practice, your emotional literacy, understanding when you're mad, when you're angry, being able to separate the difference between certain emotions.
• 4:53
  [SPEAKER_01]: Some emotions are really hard in factuation and love co-mingle themselves, anger and hurt, looking at these and understanding them within your area of influence.
• 5:04
  [SPEAKER_01]: In the context of whatever situation you found yourself, can be very helpful.
• 5:09
  [SPEAKER_01]: But work on recognizing them and name them.
• 5:12
  [SPEAKER_01]: Use that journal, use that mindfulness practice.
• 5:15
  [SPEAKER_01]: Use your reflection time to go through this cycle and use shell and will become more emotionally intelligent.
• 5:22
  [SPEAKER_01]: And as you do that, you can begin to enhance your self-regulation.
• 5:27
  [SPEAKER_01]: One of the first things that you can do once you've been able to practice and understand your emotions in those engaging and fluid situations is pausing before you respond.
• 5:38
  [SPEAKER_01]: Taking a moment not to react.
• 5:40
  [SPEAKER_01]: Establishing some coping strategies.
• 5:43
  [SPEAKER_01]: When you feel negative emotions, what helps you to fuse them is at the walk.
• 5:49
  [SPEAKER_01]: Some of us might say, you know what?
• 5:51
  [SPEAKER_01]: For me, the best way for me to deal with these negative emotions is to fight or to run, that fight or fight that we go through as humans.
• 5:59
  [SPEAKER_01]: But most of the time, in the situations we're talking about, and I'm not talking about dangerous situations where physical harm is involved.
• 6:08
  [SPEAKER_01]: Talking about situations where there is a way to be constructive and there is generally a way to grow and to improve through engagement with other people, you have to find a way to cope through these things.
• 6:22
  [SPEAKER_01]: understand the emotions and help yourself to regulate how you feel about them.
• 6:29
  [SPEAKER_01]: Set goals about that also be realistic.
• 6:32
  [SPEAKER_01]: If you've been listening to us, you know we go by smart.
• 6:36
  [SPEAKER_01]: We practice smart, specific, measurable, attainable, realistic and timely.
• 6:41
  [SPEAKER_01]: You can practice being specific and measurable about your emotions.
• 6:46
  [SPEAKER_01]: You can understand your ability to attain a certain level of calmness or anger or hurt.
• 6:53
  [SPEAKER_01]: You know of its realistic or relative to a moment and is at the right time for you to do this.
• 6:59
  [SPEAKER_01]: And through all of this self-regulation includes practicing being assertive, standing up for yourself in a respectful and proper way, learning how to say no, and yes.
• 7:12
  [SPEAKER_01]: learning how to challenge in a way that is allowing for improvement and allowing for further engagement to have better context and understanding.
• 7:21
  [SPEAKER_01]: Through that, we might learn something and find out we were wrong or we might have something to practice and to give to somebody else.
• 7:28
  [SPEAKER_01]: And that's the next part is practicing, applying it, doing it over and over again, and you will fail.
• 7:33
  [SPEAKER_01]: You will find yourself challenged through this process of dealing with our emotional intelligence.
• 7:41
  [SPEAKER_01]: Emotions are one of the most difficult things for humans to understand and to live with in a objective.
• 7:50
  [SPEAKER_01]: and rewarding way when we're talking in the context of where we're at today.
• 7:56
  [SPEAKER_01]: Consistently apply this practice, be aware and apply in practice self-regulation.
• 8:04
  [SPEAKER_01]: As you grow and that intelligence adjust your approach, test different things that might help you.
• 8:13
  [SPEAKER_01]: And if you really are still struggling, get professional guidance, get a coach, get a psychologist,
• 8:20
  [SPEAKER_01]: get a friend appear, and then when you integrate this into your regular life, look at how other people are doing it, check in with yourself, check in with your peers who have helped you get to this point, role model if you have to, but also build your relationships through this process.
• 8:39
  [SPEAKER_01]: Use this new level of improvement, this new level of understanding about yourself and others to help you build relationships with people in your area of influence who can help you to improve and grow.
• 8:49
  [SPEAKER_01]: The emotional intelligence is about yourself, but it's also about what you do for others.
• 8:55
  [SPEAKER_01]: Self-regulation, same thing, so I challenge you.
• 8:59
  [SPEAKER_01]: Be aware, regulate how you are and be smart.
• 9:04
  [SPEAKER_01]: Hope you've enjoyed today's podcast.
• 9:06
  [SPEAKER_01]: I hope you have a great day.
• 9:07
  [SPEAKER_01]: And remember, you can follow us on social, Instagram, Facebook, Twitter, LinkedIn, the eye and team series.
• 9:15
  [SPEAKER_01]: Have a good day.