Latest / The Ben and Ashley I Almost Famous Podcast / Is RHOSLC Britani Bateman REALLY Man Crazy? Brian Austin Green Wants To Know!

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Is RHOSLC Britani Bateman REALLY Man Crazy? Brian Austin Green Wants To Know! · The Ben and Ashley I Almost Famous Podcast

• 0:03
  Speaker 1: Hello. I do part two. This is, I'm your celebrity mentor,
• 0:13
  Speaker 1: Brian Austin Green. And Ting, ting, ting. I have an announcement.
• 0:27
  Speaker 1: I do. I have an announcement. So today I'm talking
• 0:30
  Speaker 1: with singer, and we discussed it, singer, absolutely, actress, one
• 0:35
  Speaker 1: of the stars of The Real Housewives of Salt Lake City,
• 0:38
  Speaker 1: Brittany Bateman. Hello.
• 0:39
  Speaker 2: Hi, Brian.
• 0:40
  Speaker 1: We have never met before. This is amazing. This is
• 0:42
  Speaker 1: so much fun. I love this.
• 0:43
  Speaker 2: It feels like we have. Like, you just instantly feel
• 0:45
  Speaker 2: like one of those people that, ting, ting, ting, I
• 0:47
  Speaker 2: have an announcement. Brian and I are friends, so.
• 0:49
  Speaker 1: Yeah. Yeah, who knows how long this friendship will last?
• 0:54
  Speaker 1: You never, ever know. I always say it's really fun
• 0:58
  Speaker 1: sitting down with new people because, as I said, I
• 1:02
  Speaker 1: don't research a lot. I really enjoy sitting down with
• 1:05
  Speaker 1: people I don't know and going, hey, let's both of
• 1:08
  Speaker 1: us connect. Let's both talk about some real things. I'll
• 1:11
  Speaker 1: ask you some questions. You'll ask me some. We'll get
• 1:13
  Speaker 1: into it. the weeds of all of it. And it
• 1:16
  Speaker 1: kind of makes for a fun listen, I think for fans,
• 1:18
  Speaker 1: you know, because I love that they get sit down
• 1:21
  Speaker 1: interviews with you. Right. So they know all the stuff
• 1:24
  Speaker 1: about the show and they watch the episodes and they, but.
• 1:27
  Speaker 2: This is, let's get to the real stuff.
• 1:29
  Speaker 1: Yeah. Like let's jump in.
• 1:30
  Speaker 2: Let's get underneath it all.
• 1:32
  Speaker 1: We've both lived lives. Like we've had a lot of
• 1:37
  Speaker 1: life that we've lived. We've had a lot of times
• 1:40
  Speaker 1: where we have fallen. Yeah. Yeah.
• 1:45
  Speaker 2: Crawl back out of the grave. Crawl out of the hole.
• 1:48
  Speaker 1: But I think that's the thing, though, that separates people.
• 1:51
  Speaker 1: You know, you have some people that fall and they
• 1:56
  Speaker 1: just sort of wallow in it. They define themselves by that.
• 1:58
  Speaker 1: And they don't know how to get out of it.
• 2:00
  Speaker 2: Well, yeah. And success is determined by how tenaciously you
• 2:04
  Speaker 2: climb back out of the hole. Because everyone fails. And
• 2:08
  Speaker 2: the winners are the ones.
• 2:09
  Speaker 1: That have failed thousands of times. And I welcome failure
• 2:11
  Speaker 1: in a weird way. Like, I never thought when I
• 2:13
  Speaker 1: was younger I would say that. But I welcome failure
• 2:16
  Speaker 1: because looking back on it, not in the moment. In
• 2:20
  Speaker 1: the moment, you're like, this is the worst. Why am
• 2:22
  Speaker 1: I going through this right now? Like, what did I
• 2:24
  Speaker 1: do to deserve this? But then you look back on
• 2:28
  Speaker 1: all of it and you go, man, what a catalyst
• 2:30
  Speaker 1: for change for me. What a great experience I went
• 2:34
  Speaker 1: through because I learned so much from that. I grew
• 2:37
  Speaker 1: so much from that.
• 2:39
  Speaker 2: Well, if you are determined to get to the finish line,
• 2:42
  Speaker 2: then every failure is just another step to get there.
• 2:45
  Speaker 1: Sure.
• 2:45
  Speaker 2: I mean, the only failure really is giving up.
• 2:49
  Speaker 1: Good one. Right? Ting, ting, ting. Boom. Mic drop. These
• 2:54
  Speaker 1: mics are on stand, so we can't drop them, and
• 2:57
  Speaker 1: iHeart would be pissed if we did because we could
• 2:59
  Speaker 1: break something.
• 3:00
  Speaker 2: That's true. That's fair.
• 3:02
  Speaker 1: But— Yeah, and that kind of, so the show is
• 3:05
  Speaker 1: called I Do Part Two, and it's really jumping into
• 3:09
  Speaker 1: this concept of people in the world have gone through
• 3:13
  Speaker 1: multiple relationships, and you've kind of gotten to a point
• 3:16
  Speaker 1: where you go, how did I get here? I didn't
• 3:19
  Speaker 1: expect it. I was married for almost 10 years in
• 3:23
  Speaker 1: a relationship for 15, and we had three kids, and
• 3:27
  Speaker 1: then all of a sudden we are divorced.
• 3:31
  Speaker 2: Yeah, how did that happen?
• 3:34
  Speaker 1: Well, a whole series of events.
• 3:35
  Speaker 2: What's the quick Reader's Digest version? It's... People don't say
• 3:40
  Speaker 2: that anymore.
• 3:40
  Speaker 1: Reader's Digest version. I think it's important to figure out
• 3:47
  Speaker 1: what path you're on in life. And you find people
• 3:52
  Speaker 1: where you go, we're on the same path. Yeah, let's
• 3:54
  Speaker 1: do this path together. And then you sort of grow
• 3:57
  Speaker 1: in different directions. And my ex-wife and I grew in
• 4:00
  Speaker 1: completely different directions. She was... younger than me. Um, she
• 4:05
  Speaker 1: really got in sort of early on my life. I
• 4:08
  Speaker 1: already had a child. She went through a lot with
• 4:12
  Speaker 1: me and I think she got to the point in
• 4:15
  Speaker 1: life where she was like, I don't feel like I've
• 4:17
  Speaker 1: really lived enough of my life.
• 4:20
  Speaker 2: Oh, interesting. Yeah.
• 4:21
  Speaker 1: So her path went in a different, in a different
• 4:25
  Speaker 1: way and divergence. It's, It's hard because there are times
• 4:29
  Speaker 1: where you go, God, why is this happening? But the
• 4:31
  Speaker 1: reality is it's happening. You can't do anything to change
• 4:36
  Speaker 1: the course of it. So you just sort of ride
• 4:38
  Speaker 1: it and you go, okay.
• 4:39
  Speaker 2: Yeah. Well, you can't control other people, but it, yeah, you,
• 4:44
  Speaker 2: you hope that there's something that we can do to
• 4:46
  Speaker 2: stay aligned. It's alignment.
• 4:49
  Speaker 1: Really.
• 4:49
  Speaker 2: That's what you're saying.
• 4:50
  Speaker 1: Yeah.
• 4:50
  Speaker 2: It's alignment and you become disaligned or misaligned and, And
• 4:55
  Speaker 2: you just, even one degree, you just veer off.
• 4:57
  Speaker 1: Alignment is a hard thing though, because sometimes you go
• 4:59
  Speaker 1: into relationships thinking you want something that you don't actually want.
• 5:03
  Speaker 2: Oh, that's interesting.
• 5:04
  Speaker 1: You're like, oh, I really, well, I really want to
• 5:07
  Speaker 1: settle down and I want to have a family and
• 5:09
  Speaker 1: I want to do a thing. And then as you're
• 5:11
  Speaker 1: getting into it and it starts getting really serious and heavy,
• 5:14
  Speaker 1: you start second guessing it and going, am I really
• 5:17
  Speaker 1: ready for this? And I think a lot of people
• 5:20
  Speaker 1: do that. A lot of people think, you know, okay,
• 5:23
  Speaker 1: our relationship is great, but getting married, having a family,
• 5:27
  Speaker 1: that's what we're missing. And then they have that and
• 5:31
  Speaker 1: then they go, that wasn't at all what we were missing.
• 5:34
  Speaker 1: I think we were missing much more of a genuine
• 5:37
  Speaker 1: connection and it's not something that was fixed by saying
• 5:41
  Speaker 1: I do, having kids. But you don't really know that
• 5:46
  Speaker 1: until you're in it.
• 5:47
  Speaker 2: That's true. An emotional connection is something that is a
• 5:51
  Speaker 2: life in and of itself and nothing you can do.
• 5:55
  Speaker 2: Like you can bring your spouse or your partner roses
• 5:59
  Speaker 2: every day, but that doesn't necessarily make you more connected emotionally.
• 6:03
  Speaker 2: You can say, oh, but I do this for you
• 6:04
  Speaker 2: and I do that for you and you should feel
• 6:07
  Speaker 2: emotionally connected to me. Well, that's not what emotional connection is.
• 6:12
  Speaker 1: Right.
• 6:12
  Speaker 2: It's an intangible something where you hold space for the
• 6:16
  Speaker 2: other person and their wants, their desires, their belief system.
• 6:20
  Speaker 1: Do you believe in love languages? Oh, yeah.
• 6:24
  Speaker 2: Definitely.
• 6:24
  Speaker 1: Do you know what yours is?
• 6:27
  Speaker 2: I haven't read the book. I mean, I think it's.
• 6:30
  Speaker 1: So mine is acts of service. Is it?
• 6:32
  Speaker 2: Okay, mine is too. I feel the.
• 6:35
  Speaker 1: Best when people... Do things for me because then I
• 6:39
  Speaker 1: feel like, oh, I'm at the forefront of your mind.
• 6:42
  Speaker 1: You know, it's like you have your busy day, you
• 6:44
  Speaker 1: have all your stuff, but you made sure that, and
• 6:46
  Speaker 1: it's little things. It could be a cup of coffee
• 6:48
  Speaker 1: in the morning before work. It could be these, it's
• 6:51
  Speaker 1: just these tiny little things. But then I think sometimes
• 6:55
  Speaker 1: we get so caught up in what our own love
• 6:58
  Speaker 1: language is. that we don't really pay attention to what
• 7:01
  Speaker 1: the other person's love language is.
• 7:03
  Speaker 2: And that's emotional connection.
• 7:05
  Speaker 1: That's emotional connection.
• 7:05
  Speaker 2: Holding space for their love languages, not just like giving
• 7:09
  Speaker 2: what you like to receive. That's the trick.
• 7:12
  Speaker 1: That's hard to do though.
• 7:13
  Speaker 2: It's hard to do.
• 7:15
  Speaker 1: When you're younger and you're in that space of like,
• 7:17
  Speaker 1: I just want to feel good myself.
• 7:19
  Speaker 2: Yeah.
• 7:19
  Speaker 1: You forget that like, oh, the other person has to
• 7:23
  Speaker 1: feel good also.
• 7:24
  Speaker 2: Yeah. When you're young, you're just kind of naturally selfish.
• 7:28
  Speaker 2: And one thing about, yeah, you have to sort of
• 7:31
  Speaker 2: grow out of that. And hopefully as a couple, you
• 7:35
  Speaker 2: grow together in alignment through your selfishness and you become
• 7:39
  Speaker 2: unselfish together. Or if you don't, you just grow apart.
• 7:44
  Speaker 1: Are you born and raised in Salt Lake City?
• 7:46
  Speaker 2: I was born in Provo and then moved to California
• 7:50
  Speaker 2: until I grew up in California, Southern and the Northern.
• 7:54
  Speaker 2: And then I went to BYU. Okay.
• 7:55
  Speaker 1: Okay.
• 7:55
  Speaker 2: Brigham Young back in Utah and just stayed.
• 7:58
  Speaker 1: And just stayed. Yeah. And how.
• 8:00
  Speaker 2: Got married there and.
• 8:02
  Speaker 1: And you've been married twice.
• 8:03
  Speaker 2: Yes. I know.
• 8:05
  Speaker 1: Well, no.
• 8:06
  Speaker 2: I know.
• 8:06
  Speaker 1: But there's, again, there is that past though. A lot
• 8:08
  Speaker 1: of chapters. Where you look back and you go, man,
• 8:11
  Speaker 1: this is like, these are the things that define me
• 8:13
  Speaker 1: and really made me understand what I want, what I
• 8:16
  Speaker 1: don't want.
• 8:17
  Speaker 2: The refiner's fire, as they say.
• 8:19
  Speaker 1: Who I am, what I'm good at, what I suck at. Right. Like.
• 8:23
  Speaker 1: I wouldn't change it. I got out of my marriage
• 8:25
  Speaker 1: and I was like, okay, I need therapy because I
• 8:30
  Speaker 1: don't want to do the same things that I did
• 8:34
  Speaker 1: poorly in this last relationship. I don't want to keep
• 8:37
  Speaker 1: reliving that. I want to learn and grow from it.
• 8:40
  Speaker 2: Yes. Amazing. Have you gotten therapy?
• 8:43
  Speaker 1: Oh, for sure.
• 8:44
  Speaker 2: Good.
• 8:45
  Speaker 1: Still.
• 8:46
  Speaker 2: In the form of talk therapy, like with a therapist?
• 8:49
  Speaker 1: Well, talk therapy....
• 8:53
  Speaker 2: Yeah.
• 8:54
  Speaker 1: But I, so therapy for me was, I, I didn't
• 8:59
  Speaker 1: grow up in a household with like healthy debate. I've
• 9:03
  Speaker 1: talked about this before. I grew up in a household
• 9:05
  Speaker 1: where my parents were, were from these much more rigid
• 9:12
  Speaker 1: families when they were younger, you know, products of the
• 9:15
  Speaker 1: forties and the fifties and all that. And so, um,
• 9:18
  Speaker 1: more traditional, yeah. Relationships with with your kids was your
• 9:22
  Speaker 1: kids are meant to be seen and not heard. Yes.
• 9:24
  Speaker 1: So it was like, listen, I, you know, this is
• 9:26
  Speaker 1: the way to do it. Just listen to me. I've
• 9:29
  Speaker 1: got you. Like, I don't want you to free think
• 9:32
  Speaker 1: at all. Like I've learned. So it was very much
• 9:34
  Speaker 1: the same, a lot of the same.
• 9:36
  Speaker 2: Concept when I was a kid.
• 9:38
  Speaker 1: Yeah. Yeah. It was just like, why free thing? I
• 9:40
  Speaker 1: know that I've done all of this. I know the
• 9:42
  Speaker 1: better way to do this and handle it. So just try,
• 9:45
  Speaker 1: just listen. But the problem with that.
• 9:47
  Speaker 2: Basically every religion.
• 9:48
  Speaker 1: Well, yeah, exactly. The problem with that is that you
• 9:52
  Speaker 1: don't allow people then to fall and say, ouch, and
• 9:57
  Speaker 1: learn from situations and grow. Fair. by the time I
• 10:00
  Speaker 1: was in my late 20s, where I should have already
• 10:05
  Speaker 1: done all of that, I was brand new in it.
• 10:09
  Speaker 2: Wow.
• 10:10
  Speaker 1: I was like, because I started working when I was
• 10:13
  Speaker 1: nine and I was doing the show from 17 to 27.
• 10:15
  Speaker 1: So I just.
• 10:20
  Speaker 1: Was my, my mom was my business manager. My dad
• 10:23
  Speaker 1: was my manager. Like it was just very, it was
• 10:26
  Speaker 1: this very sort of strange circle that I was in
• 10:30
  Speaker 1: where if it works, if it ain't broke, don't fix it.
• 10:34
  Speaker 2: Right.
• 10:35
  Speaker 1: Right. That was sort of fascinating.
• 10:37
  Speaker 2: So almost like arrested development a little bit.
• 10:39
  Speaker 1: Like arrested development.
• 10:40
  Speaker 2: Yeah.
• 10:41
  Speaker 1: And then when I got to the point where I
• 10:43
  Speaker 1: was like, I should really be on my own making
• 10:45
  Speaker 1: some of these decisions.
• 10:46
  Speaker 2: Yeah.
• 10:47
  Speaker 1: It's like, I have, I don't know. I don't know
• 10:48
  Speaker 1: the first thing. any of these things.
• 10:51
  Speaker 2: Hey, at least your brain was developed when you figured
• 10:53
  Speaker 2: that out because your brain develops about 25. So, Hey,
• 10:56
  Speaker 2: you had that going for you.
• 10:58
  Speaker 1: I had that going for me. And then coming out
• 11:00
  Speaker 1: of the marriage, I was like, okay, let me like
• 11:02
  Speaker 1: really figure out the stuff that I'm not good at that,
• 11:06
  Speaker 1: that I didn't develop when I was younger.
• 11:08
  Speaker 2: What do you think that was? Um, can you pinpoint it?
• 11:13
  Speaker 1: Listening very well. My communication skills, um, My ability to
• 11:17
  Speaker 1: step back out of myself and not make it all
• 11:20
  Speaker 1: about me all the time.
• 11:21
  Speaker 2: Are you an empath?
• 11:23
  Speaker 1: I am an empath. Yeah. Yeah. For sure, I am.
• 11:27
  Speaker 1: But I didn't... Because I wasn't good at listening and
• 11:33
  Speaker 1: really being empathetic with people, I didn't understand my abilities.
• 11:41
  Speaker 1: And I didn't know that I could... sit with people
• 11:45
  Speaker 1: and really be a safe place for people to sort
• 11:47
  Speaker 1: of speak and live. And we could create an amazing
• 11:50
  Speaker 1: connection with that. But you have to be aware. Yeah.
• 11:54
  Speaker 1: You have to be in a place where you go,
• 11:56
  Speaker 1: I'm going to put myself. Yeah. Yeah. How are you? Yeah.
• 12:00
  Speaker 2: And then like genuinely be interested.
• 12:03
  Speaker 1: Yeah. Yeah. A lot of people aren't. Yeah. Yeah.
• 12:06
  Speaker 2: That's so true. It's rare.
• 12:08
  Speaker 1: It's super rare. How, how, I want to get into
• 12:12
  Speaker 1: the show a little bit. Just a hair. Just a
• 12:17
  Speaker 1: tiny little, you know, it's like seasoning. A little morsel. Yeah. Okay. It's,
• 12:21
  Speaker 1: you know, pasta sauce isn't good without the little things
• 12:24
  Speaker 1: in it. I was thinking about this before. This has
• 12:27
  Speaker 1: got to be, I would assume, it's got to be
• 12:31
  Speaker 1: really difficult to be on a show like you're on because...
• 12:38
  Speaker 1: In a sense, you are playing yourself, but you're playing
• 12:41
  Speaker 1: a heightened version of yourself. And then it's edited. It's
• 12:45
  Speaker 1: a story that's told by other people. They have free
• 12:49
  Speaker 1: reign to sort of do that. How is that? Do
• 12:53
  Speaker 1: you feel really misunderstood? Oh, yeah. Yeah.
• 12:57
  Speaker 2: And I think that, I mean, I kind of knew that's,
• 13:00
  Speaker 2: I knew what I was signing up for a little bit.
• 13:03
  Speaker 2: I'd watched a couple episodes before I signed the contract
• 13:06
  Speaker 2: and started filming. But I didn't really know what I
• 13:09
  Speaker 2: was getting myself into. I wish that I had been
• 13:12
  Speaker 2: more prepared. And in fact, I was ill prepared for... How.
• 13:15
  Speaker 1: Do you feel you could have been more prepared?
• 13:18
  Speaker 2: If I had just watched the show.
• 13:19
  Speaker 1: Right.
• 13:20
  Speaker 2: If I had just watched Housewives to know like what
• 13:23
  Speaker 2: it was about and how you become kind of almost
• 13:27
  Speaker 2: a caricature of yourself.
• 13:29
  Speaker 1: Sure.
• 13:29
  Speaker 2: It's not really... The layers are only what editing and
• 13:34
  Speaker 2: producers want people to see.
• 13:36
  Speaker 1: Sure. They find out quickly what part you can play
• 13:40
  Speaker 1: in it. And then they go, okay, we need this
• 13:42
  Speaker 1: type of a character. We need this type of a character.
• 13:44
  Speaker 1: We need the one that everybody's always rooting for. And
• 13:46
  Speaker 1: they're always like, oh, poor thing. I hope she figures
• 13:49
  Speaker 1: it out. And then they run with it. Yeah.
• 13:52
  Speaker 2: And like you said, it's, it's a heightened version of yourself.
• 13:55
  Speaker 1: Yes.
• 13:55
  Speaker 2: It's you. And, and you're not playing anything. You're just
• 13:58
  Speaker 2: showing up. You're just showing up on the job as you,
• 14:01
  Speaker 2: and you don't know what you're getting yourself into. That's
• 14:04
  Speaker 2: even if you knew what you were getting yourself into.
• 14:05
  Speaker 1: Are you ever playing at all or are you genuinely
• 14:08
  Speaker 1: like you are yourself and they create everything then?
• 14:11
  Speaker 2: I am absolutely myself. I think some people are performative,
• 14:15
  Speaker 2: but I am, and I'm just performative by nature. That's
• 14:18
  Speaker 2: just me. I'm kind of a drama queen. I'm just
• 14:21
  Speaker 2: a theater nerd.
• 14:21
  Speaker 1: Are you? Yeah.
• 14:23
  Speaker 2: So like I show up and I'm funny and I'm
• 14:26
  Speaker 2: dramatic and I try to add levity. But man, they're
• 14:30
  Speaker 2: quick to slap you down and put you in your place.
• 14:33
  Speaker 2: The other ladies.
• 14:44
  Speaker 1: Is it a prerequisite? Like do the producers, when they're
• 14:47
  Speaker 1: going through names and faces of people, do they find,
• 14:51
  Speaker 1: do they find women that generally do not, um, get
• 14:56
  Speaker 1: along well with other women? Cause it seems very much like.
• 15:01
  Speaker 1: You're putting a bunch of people that shouldn't be around
• 15:03
  Speaker 1: other people all together in a room. That's funny. And
• 15:07
  Speaker 1: you're going, you guys duke it out. And we just
• 15:09
  Speaker 1: want to shoot it.
• 15:09
  Speaker 2: It's going to be great TV. Well, I think that, yeah,
• 15:12
  Speaker 2: I mean, you do make a good point. They pick
• 15:14
  Speaker 2: alpha females for sure.
• 15:15
  Speaker 1: Right.
• 15:16
  Speaker 2: Like we are all alpha females. Like in our other
• 15:18
  Speaker 2: friend groups, we are.
• 15:19
  Speaker 1: All the leader.
• 15:20
  Speaker 2: We're all the queen bee.
• 15:22
  Speaker 1: Yeah.
• 15:22
  Speaker 2: And you put a whole bunch of queen bees in
• 15:24
  Speaker 2: one hive and you're going to get some stings.
• 15:27
  Speaker 1: And then they force you guys to get together. Like
• 15:31
  Speaker 1: they give you schedules of what your day is going
• 15:33
  Speaker 1: to be, right? They kind of come up with some ideas.
• 15:35
  Speaker 2: Yes and no. I mean, we do have a lot
• 15:37
  Speaker 2: of say. Like they ask us, you know, not to
• 15:40
  Speaker 2: get too much in the weeds of how production goes
• 15:42
  Speaker 2: because they don't like us talking about that. But we
• 15:45
  Speaker 2: have some say in our schedules and who we want
• 15:47
  Speaker 2: to film with and who we don't want to film with.
• 15:50
  Speaker 2: And yeah, I mean, so in that regard, it's very authentic.
• 15:55
  Speaker 1: It's fantastic. It's fascinating for me. So being, being an actor,
• 16:00
  Speaker 1: I get praise.
• 16:01
  Speaker 2: Which you're great by the way.
• 16:03
  Speaker 1: Thank you. I get praise for being different characters. Like
• 16:08
  Speaker 1: I can go on a set and be a completely disturbed,
• 16:11
  Speaker 1: horrible human being. And people clap at the end of
• 16:14
  Speaker 1: the day. They go, that was great. You are yourself
• 16:19
  Speaker 1: or you're a version of yourself, but it's all under
• 16:21
  Speaker 1: your name. So you are highly scrutinized, but, you're edited
• 16:28
  Speaker 1: to be a character just like any other actor.
• 16:31
  Speaker 2: So true. Well, I've done scripted too. So I've been
• 16:33
  Speaker 2: in your shoes as well. Yeah.
• 16:35
  Speaker 1: Yeah.
• 16:36
  Speaker 2: And that's, it's just different because you're thinking when you're
• 16:39
  Speaker 2: doing scripted, you're acting is just thinking and you're thinking
• 16:42
  Speaker 2: the thoughts of whoever this person is. And then whatever
• 16:46
  Speaker 2: that ends up coming out as is what it comes
• 16:48
  Speaker 2: out as. So yeah. As an actor, as an actress,
• 16:52
  Speaker 2: it's difficult sometimes to think those thoughts of someone that
• 16:56
  Speaker 2: is evil or manipulative because.
• 16:59
  Speaker 1: You have to think those thoughts. But that's the fun
• 17:01
  Speaker 1: of what it is we do. It is.
• 17:02
  Speaker 2: We get to sort of like play with that.
• 17:04
  Speaker 1: And then we get to put it on a shelf.
• 17:05
  Speaker 1: I get to do things at the end of the
• 17:06
  Speaker 1: day where it's like, I would never in a million
• 17:08
  Speaker 1: years be this guy. Right.
• 17:10
  Speaker 2: But it's kind of fun. But in reality, you're thinking
• 17:14
  Speaker 2: your own thoughts. You have your own motivations. You have
• 17:17
  Speaker 2: your own objectives. You're acting solely as yourself. And so
• 17:23
  Speaker 2: you have to be accountable for all of your actions
• 17:25
  Speaker 2: as well at the end of the day, no matter
• 17:27
  Speaker 2: how it's edited. You were still the one that said
• 17:30
  Speaker 2: that thing. You're still the one that did that thing.
• 17:33
  Speaker 2: And so you still have to be accountable.
• 17:34
  Speaker 1: Context can be changed though. And that's what's done in editing.
• 17:37
  Speaker 1: All of a sudden you go, that is not how
• 17:41
  Speaker 1: I said it or where I said it or what
• 17:43
  Speaker 1: I was responding to.
• 17:44
  Speaker 2: That's hard.
• 17:45
  Speaker 1: It's the same thing for me with like press and
• 17:47
  Speaker 1: texts and all that. I hate, I hate them. So
• 17:51
  Speaker 1: I did a little research on you.
• 17:53
  Speaker 2: Yeah.
• 17:55
  Speaker 1: Shocking, right? um just to get a sense of because
• 17:59
  Speaker 1: i think it's really interesting in what it is we're
• 18:01
  Speaker 1: talking about and i i wanted to see the dominant
• 18:03
  Speaker 1: criticism that viewers of the show have.
• 18:07
  Speaker 2: Of you yeah this is interesting.
• 18:10
  Speaker 1: Yeah and they're just really they're interest they're interesting to
• 18:12
  Speaker 1: hear because i want you being able to step back
• 18:15
  Speaker 1: and go okay this is the version of me that
• 18:17
  Speaker 1: they see on the show so this isn't criticism of
• 18:20
  Speaker 1: you right it's the same way i feel about um
• 18:23
  Speaker 1: comments yeah i laugh because it's like you don't know
• 18:26
  Speaker 1: me so exactly you're not actually making that comment to
• 18:28
  Speaker 1: me you're making that comment to whatever you think.
• 18:31
  Speaker 2: No 100 yeah yeah and i read every comment they
• 18:34
  Speaker 2: say don't read them but i do.
• 18:35
  Speaker 1: Oh my god but they're funny like the ones that
• 18:37
  Speaker 1: are hysterical i literally repost and i with a laughing
• 18:41
  Speaker 1: emoji and i go oh my god this is genius.
• 18:43
  Speaker 2: This is so great and some of them are quite
• 18:45
  Speaker 2: witty Like the insults are so witty. I just, I
• 18:48
  Speaker 2: have to just like give them props for that.
• 18:50
  Speaker 1: And I separate myself from them because it's like social
• 18:52
  Speaker 1: media is all of you that are following me that
• 18:55
  Speaker 1: are commenting. Yeah. You know, the version of myself that
• 18:58
  Speaker 1: you see in things. Right. So, but it's not really.
• 19:01
  Speaker 2: And you're lovely in person, by the way.
• 19:03
  Speaker 1: Thank you.
• 19:04
  Speaker 2: Same, same.
• 19:05
  Speaker 1: This is so much fun.
• 19:06
  Speaker 2: So yeah, I'm dying here.
• 19:07
  Speaker 1: Okay.
• 19:08
  Speaker 2: Without further ado.
• 19:08
  Speaker 1: The dominant criticism that viewers have of you is that
• 19:13
  Speaker 1: you are attention seeking and You're emotionally immature. Yes. You're
• 19:18
  Speaker 1: overly focused on men. And sometimes you are spectacularly unable
• 19:24
  Speaker 1: to read the room. I love that one.
• 19:28
  Speaker 2: And I would say all of those are absolutely true.
• 19:31
  Speaker 1: Yeah.
• 19:32
  Speaker 2: Yes.
• 19:33
  Speaker 1: True.
• 19:35
  Speaker 2: Let me let me see that. Let me see that.
• 19:37
  Speaker 1: Yeah. Please.
• 19:38
  Speaker 2: Emotionally mature, check. Yes, I am emotionally mature sometimes. Attention seeking, always.
• 19:44
  Speaker 1: Right. Hello. Who isn't attention seeking?
• 19:46
  Speaker 2: Overly focused on men. I have been at times, sadly.
• 19:49
  Speaker 1: Yeah.
• 19:50
  Speaker 2: I've, I've seeked validation from men just based on my
• 19:54
  Speaker 2: past experiences and, um, thank heavens I'm not doing that anymore.
• 20:00
  Speaker 2: I'm not even interested in dating anymore. I'm, I'm taking
• 20:03
  Speaker 2: a break. I'm choosing, I'm dating myself. I'm choosing myself now.
• 20:05
  Speaker 2: That's great. So I'm spectacularly unable to read the room.
• 20:10
  Speaker 1: I love that one because I was like, Oh, that's
• 20:13
  Speaker 1: a very, yeah.
• 20:14
  Speaker 2: There's some, Oh, there's such great moments. Yeah. I'm just
• 20:18
  Speaker 2: living my own life kind of on the Brittany Island.
• 20:21
  Speaker 1: Sometimes what's really funny is I read this also, there's
• 20:24
  Speaker 1: this like substantial counter argument that you are exactly what
• 20:29
  Speaker 1: a housewife is supposed to be, that you're unpredictable and,
• 20:33
  Speaker 1: That you're earnest to the point of awkwardness. You're unintentionally funny.
• 20:38
  Speaker 1: You're willing to embarrass yourself.
• 20:39
  Speaker 2: That's true.
• 20:40
  Speaker 1: You constantly create situations for the other women to react to.
• 20:43
  Speaker 1: Do you find that that's the truth also?
• 20:48
  Speaker 2: Yes, it's all true. I can't deny any of that.
• 20:51
  Speaker 1: It's really interesting. All of it is in your perception
• 20:55
  Speaker 1: of somebody. I think the world is absolutely there's a
• 21:02
  Speaker 1: perception to each thing. I have this conversation with people
• 21:05
  Speaker 1: all the time that are turning 50. And they're like,
• 21:08
  Speaker 1: oh my God, I haven't accomplished anywhere near what I
• 21:12
  Speaker 1: wanted to by the time I was 50. So they
• 21:15
  Speaker 1: go right into complete midlife crisis and just melt down
• 21:18
  Speaker 1: in it. They're like, oh, I had all these things.
• 21:20
  Speaker 1: That's a perception. Other perception, the flip side is okay,
• 21:25
  Speaker 1: this is the second act of my life. Right. My God,
• 21:28
  Speaker 1: the first act, I lived such a long life. I
• 21:30
  Speaker 1: did so many things. Right. This one, I get to
• 21:33
  Speaker 1: start right now. I don't have to be in school.
• 21:36
  Speaker 2: Right.
• 21:36
  Speaker 1: I don't have to like be awkward and uncomfortable and
• 21:39
  Speaker 1: figuring out who I am. Right. I get to start
• 21:41
  Speaker 1: right now. So this is super exciting. Who do I
• 21:44
  Speaker 1: want to be? Uh-huh. It's just a perception.
• 21:47
  Speaker 2: It's a perception.
• 21:48
  Speaker 1: Yep. It's just, it's just looking at something from a
• 21:50
  Speaker 1: different point of view.
• 21:52
  Speaker 2: I choose B. I choose B. I mean, 50s have
• 21:55
  Speaker 2: been the best decade of my life. For those reasons, exactly.
• 21:59
  Speaker 2: We get to choose. We get to choose. I mean,
• 22:02
  Speaker 2: everything in my life right now at this moment until
• 22:04
  Speaker 2: the robots kill us in about less than a decade.
• 22:07
  Speaker 1: It's coming soon. I've been reading the news and apparently
• 22:10
  Speaker 1: everyone that's created the AI is like, ooh, we should
• 22:12
  Speaker 1: slow it down.
• 22:13
  Speaker 2: Hitting the stop button.
• 22:14
  Speaker 1: You can't put the toothpaste back in the tube.
• 22:16
  Speaker 2: Eject, eject.
• 22:17
  Speaker 1: Like it is, it's out.
• 22:19
  Speaker 2: But I'm living my absolute best life. Kids are raised.
• 22:22
  Speaker 2: I'm back with my kids. We got estranged for a
• 22:24
  Speaker 2: minute there. And this season, we're going to start to
• 22:27
  Speaker 2: see why I was estranged from my kids. People had
• 22:30
  Speaker 2: a lot of harsh judgment about that. That was the
• 22:33
  Speaker 2: painful part. I can say yes to all this stuff
• 22:35
  Speaker 2: because it doesn't matter. Like if I'm unable to read
• 22:38
  Speaker 2: a room, who cares? It's funny, whatever. I can laugh
• 22:41
  Speaker 2: at myself.
• 22:41
  Speaker 1: Who gives a shit?
• 22:42
  Speaker 2: Who gives a shit?
• 22:42
  Speaker 1: And I'll get better at all these things that I'm
• 22:44
  Speaker 1: not good at. Exactly. You're aware of them.
• 22:47
  Speaker 2: Yeah.
• 22:47
  Speaker 1: That's the thing.
• 22:48
  Speaker 2: Oh, and they're absolutely true. And so what? Who cares?
• 22:52
  Speaker 2: But the kids thing, that was breaking my heart because-
• 22:55
  Speaker 2: The first two seasons I was on, it really did
• 22:59
  Speaker 2: look like, from the way it was edited, the way
• 23:01
  Speaker 2: the story was told, and I couldn't say otherwise. I
• 23:04
  Speaker 2: was legally bound to just sort of bite my tongue.
• 23:07
  Speaker 1: Shut up.
• 23:08
  Speaker 2: Uh-huh. And this season, finally, we're scratching the surface on
• 23:13
  Speaker 2: why exactly I was estranged from my children. And thank
• 23:16
  Speaker 2: heavens we're all back together and doing better than ever
• 23:19
  Speaker 2: because there's no worse pain than having some kind of
• 23:23
  Speaker 2: barrier between your kids. I mean, oh, my precious babies.
• 23:28
  Speaker 1: Right.
• 23:28
  Speaker 2: So anyway, that's all.
• 23:29
  Speaker 1: Well, and people speak it, people speak it too, in
• 23:32
  Speaker 1: a sense of like, it's just a thing. And it's like, no,
• 23:36
  Speaker 1: this is my heart. This is, I, I'm great with comments.
• 23:41
  Speaker 1: Like I can completely brush them off. But when someone
• 23:44
  Speaker 1: is commenting on me as a parent with my kids,
• 23:47
  Speaker 1: it hits in a different. No, it does.
• 23:49
  Speaker 2: It hits, it hits really low.
• 23:51
  Speaker 1: It hurts because it's, There's no more, to me, there's
• 23:54
  Speaker 1: no more important job in my life.
• 23:57
  Speaker 2: I say that. I say that all the time. There's
• 23:59
  Speaker 2: no more important job in your life than raising children,
• 24:03
  Speaker 2: than doing a good.
• 24:04
  Speaker 1: Best job. And these people making these comments, they don't
• 24:06
  Speaker 1: know how you are as a parent. They don't know
• 24:09
  Speaker 1: how you are with your kids at home. They don't
• 24:11
  Speaker 1: know what you're doing. They're seeing these tiny little bits
• 24:13
  Speaker 1: and they're trying to make these sort of assessments on
• 24:16
  Speaker 1: their own. It's like, you guys are not qualified.
• 24:19
  Speaker 2: Right, right. You do not know the nuanced nature. of
• 24:23
  Speaker 2: the ins and outs of what has happened. So that,
• 24:27
  Speaker 2: that hits hard. And those kinds of comments I do
• 24:29
  Speaker 2: respond to, not with like a ha ha, but like
• 24:33
  Speaker 2: with respect, you have no idea what we've been through
• 24:36
  Speaker 2: and just wait, just wait. And hopefully you can have
• 24:39
  Speaker 2: some compassion and understanding for what we've all been through.
• 24:43
  Speaker 1: There are certain times when I read comments and I,
• 24:46
  Speaker 1: and like you, I try not to respond to any
• 24:49
  Speaker 1: of them, but there are some where I go, you
• 24:51
  Speaker 1: know what? This is, an opportunity for a conversation that
• 24:57
  Speaker 1: I think this person needs to hear and have also
• 25:01
  Speaker 1: to get them out of this sense of just being judgmental.
• 25:05
  Speaker 1: Like take a step back. And I have this conversation
• 25:09
  Speaker 1: sometimes politically with people, not so much now because it
• 25:13
  Speaker 1: seems like things have sort of evened out a little bit.
• 25:16
  Speaker 1: You know, you've got the one side and it's sort
• 25:18
  Speaker 1: of slowing down and realizing like, okay, yeah, maybe I
• 25:21
  Speaker 1: was misled a little bit. Um, but it was, you know,
• 25:26
  Speaker 1: I always would have, I would always approach these conversations
• 25:30
  Speaker 1: with love and kindness and go, okay, listen, I'm not
• 25:34
  Speaker 1: here to judge you. Um, you feel the way you feel.
• 25:39
  Speaker 1: I feel the way I feel. I don't understand your
• 25:41
  Speaker 1: side at all. So please just explain it to me
• 25:44
  Speaker 1: and then I'll explain my side. Yeah. And then we'll
• 25:47
  Speaker 1: see if, if either one of us learn from it
• 25:50
  Speaker 1: and grow with it.
• 25:51
  Speaker 2: And it's, does it work? Does it usually work?
• 25:53
  Speaker 1: Incredibly well.
• 25:54
  Speaker 2: Good, me too.
• 25:55
  Speaker 1: By the end, I have people going, I'm so, thank
• 25:58
  Speaker 1: you so much for having this conversation. It's completely changed
• 26:01
  Speaker 1: my views on this thing or that thing. I'll never
• 26:05
  Speaker 1: again approach things this way. I'll never again comment this way. Oh,
• 26:09
  Speaker 1: that's so sweet.
• 26:10
  Speaker 2: You made a difference.
• 26:11
  Speaker 1: But it's amazing that you can do that.
• 26:12
  Speaker 2: Grassroots level, one person at a time, one comment at
• 26:14
  Speaker 2: a time.
• 26:14
  Speaker 1: But it's just listening. It's just being willing to go
• 26:17
  Speaker 1: in and have a real conversation.
• 26:19
  Speaker 2: It's holding space for someone else's opinion and asking them
• 26:22
  Speaker 2: to do the same. That's what we're talking about.
• 26:24
  Speaker 1: People are in this place where it's like we're so
• 26:26
  Speaker 1: judged all the time. Right. People just want to be
• 26:29
  Speaker 1: able to speak and feel without being judged. It's like
• 26:32
  Speaker 1: you can, your thoughts can be wrong. Mm-hmm. They can
• 26:37
  Speaker 1: be skewed in one way based on just the one
• 26:41
  Speaker 1: source that you're getting those views from. So kind of
• 26:45
  Speaker 1: get all the views and then let's all make these
• 26:49
  Speaker 1: choices together after we are as educated as we can.
• 26:53
  Speaker 2: Exactly. And I think that they don't know. I think
• 26:56
  Speaker 2: that people commenting just a random nasty comment don't actually
• 27:01
  Speaker 2: think that there's a person on the other side that
• 27:03
  Speaker 2: it's affecting. And so when I comment back, they're like, Oh, you're,
• 27:07
  Speaker 2: you're actually a person.
• 27:08
  Speaker 1: Okay.
• 27:09
  Speaker 2: And I hurt your feelings.
• 27:11
  Speaker 1: Oh, well, okay.
• 27:11
  Speaker 2: Let's talk about this. You know what I mean? We
• 27:13
  Speaker 2: have this really cool.
• 27:14
  Speaker 1: Opportunity to like, um, level the playing field a little bit.
• 27:18
  Speaker 1: Like you do what you do. I do what I do,
• 27:20
  Speaker 1: but we all have the same issues. We all have
• 27:24
  Speaker 1: the same things going on. It doesn't matter where you live, what,
• 27:28
  Speaker 1: You know, there may be variances to them based on
• 27:30
  Speaker 1: the house that I live in. Right. But they're all
• 27:34
  Speaker 1: really similar. So as soon as I level the playing
• 27:36
  Speaker 1: field and I go, oh, yeah, that hurts, doesn't it? Yeah, yeah.
• 27:39
  Speaker 1: I went through something similar. People go, oh, my God,
• 27:42
  Speaker 1: you did? That's unbelievable. And then you open the door
• 27:47
  Speaker 1: to conversation. And I think it's important for people in
• 27:52
  Speaker 1: our positions that have these weird soapboxes that we do to–
• 27:58
  Speaker 1: Be responsible with those and go, man, I can bridge
• 28:01
  Speaker 1: so many gaps with this.
• 28:03
  Speaker 2: Yeah, it's a beautiful thing.
• 28:05
  Speaker 1: I can either do this to get free clothing all
• 28:07
  Speaker 1: the time or. And. Yeah, and. Not or, and.
• 28:10
  Speaker 2: Okay, and. Yes, and.
• 28:12
  Speaker 1: Fair, yes. Got it. Okay, because who doesn't like free clothing? Right.
• 28:17
  Speaker 1: But you can also.
• 28:18
  Speaker 2: Who doesn't like free clothing?
• 28:19
  Speaker 1: Note to self. I wear a size 11. Right.
• 28:22
  Speaker 2: New balance.
• 28:25
  Speaker 1: I'm a big fan of your shoes.
• 28:26
  Speaker 2: Zero two.
• 28:27
  Speaker 1: And scene. But I think we have this really cool
• 28:34
  Speaker 1: opportunity with the, with what this position is that we're
• 28:40
  Speaker 1: in to connect with people and do that. And it's really, it's,
• 28:45
  Speaker 1: it can be really special and really powerful. And it's,
• 28:49
  Speaker 1: you know, you can build, you can build this like
• 28:52
  Speaker 1: social media following based on just people that watch the show.
• 28:56
  Speaker 1: Or you can also build it with people that love you.
• 29:00
  Speaker 2: As a human being.
• 29:01
  Speaker 1: So you can have both.
• 29:03
  Speaker 2: Yes, and.
• 29:05
  Speaker 1: Yes, and. Let's get into your previous marriages and kind
• 29:20
  Speaker 1: of where, how your head has shifted from the first
• 29:24
  Speaker 1: one to the second one. to where you are now.
• 29:26
  Speaker 1: And I know it's a long span of time, but
• 29:28
  Speaker 1: we have time. Apparently we have this studio for hours.
• 29:31
  Speaker 1: Oh my gosh. Nobody else is coming in. So hang on.
• 29:35
  Speaker 1: Let's go. I'm going to put these down.
• 29:38
  Speaker 2: Cause I am, I've.
• 29:40
  Speaker 1: I feel like I've really sort of done covered what
• 29:43
  Speaker 1: I need to cover there. So now let's get into it.
• 29:45
  Speaker 2: Let's get into the nitty gritty because.
• 29:47
  Speaker 1: People want to know. And it's the, you know, it's,
• 29:49
  Speaker 1: it's the growth for people. Some people haven't been married
• 29:53
  Speaker 1: the first time and they, they have this sort of
• 29:56
  Speaker 1: a fantasy, like romanticized version of what it is. And
• 30:00
  Speaker 1: they have these expectations and then they get into something
• 30:03
  Speaker 1: and they go, this is not at all what I expected. Yeah. Wow.
• 30:07
  Speaker 1: Was that for you? Was it the same thing? Did
• 30:09
  Speaker 1: you sort of have a... Yeah.
• 30:11
  Speaker 2: I mean, yes and no. Like my first marriage, it was,
• 30:14
  Speaker 2: it was amazing. It was fantastic. I was, I wasn't
• 30:18
  Speaker 2: super young.
• 30:18
  Speaker 1: Okay.
• 30:19
  Speaker 2: I got into the relationship. We dated for five years and,
• 30:22
  Speaker 2: which was great. And... I was 19 when we first
• 30:26
  Speaker 2: started dating and 24 when we got married. So really,
• 30:29
  Speaker 2: you know, my brain was almost developed when we got married,
• 30:32
  Speaker 2: which is old for Mormons.
• 30:33
  Speaker 1: That's questionable.
• 30:35
  Speaker 2: Old for Mormons.
• 30:36
  Speaker 1: All right.
• 30:36
  Speaker 2: Usually Mormons get married if you hadn't had sex, you know,
• 30:39
  Speaker 2: and that's the thing.
• 30:40
  Speaker 1: Is that what pushes people into marriage? 100%. Is it really?
• 30:45
  Speaker 2: Yeah, because you can't have sex before you're married. And
• 30:47
  Speaker 2: so you have to get married.
• 30:48
  Speaker 1: So you're like, oh, let's just do this so we can, okay.
• 30:50
  Speaker 2: And then people find themselves stuck and having babies and
• 30:53
  Speaker 2: then they realize, oh, wait, we don't love each other.
• 30:56
  Speaker 2: We don't even like each other.
• 30:57
  Speaker 1: I just took this step for the sex.
• 30:58
  Speaker 2: Yeah, yeah, yeah.
• 31:01
  Speaker 1: Fair.
• 31:01
  Speaker 2: I mean, it would be helpful if you could kick
• 31:04
  Speaker 2: the tires a little bit before.
• 31:07
  Speaker 1: I'm a huge believer in kicking the tires.
• 31:09
  Speaker 2: Yes, and other things. Um, so, but luckily it was just,
• 31:13
  Speaker 2: it was beautiful. We had two kids. We were so
• 31:16
  Speaker 2: happy and I was just stay at home mom for
• 31:19
  Speaker 2: a decade. And I really liked that. I did acting
• 31:22
  Speaker 2: on the side. I did TV and movies and film.
• 31:24
  Speaker 2: And I did Broadway before we got married. So I mean,
• 31:27
  Speaker 2: I felt like I had done my career. I felt
• 31:30
  Speaker 2: like my career was over. It's time to be a
• 31:32
  Speaker 2: stay-at-home mom now, which I did. And then my husband
• 31:37
  Speaker 2: ended up having an affair with his business partner. So
• 31:43
  Speaker 2: that came out of left field. I mean, it was
• 31:45
  Speaker 2: so utterly, shockingly out of nowhere because I felt like,
• 31:50
  Speaker 2: we were so solid. Nothing could ever permeate this marriage
• 31:55
  Speaker 2: that I had no idea.
• 31:57
  Speaker 1: So it's not disrespectful by the way, I think to
• 32:01
  Speaker 1: speak about things that are painful and you're kind of
• 32:05
  Speaker 1: in it. And it's like, listen, if what I'm saying
• 32:07
  Speaker 1: doesn't make you look great, you're the one that did this. Not,
• 32:11
  Speaker 1: I'm just like recounting a story. I'm not calling you
• 32:14
  Speaker 1: out or judging you at all. So, uh, you know, it's,
• 32:18
  Speaker 1: I think there's a safety zone and a free and
• 32:20
  Speaker 1: clear in that.
• 32:22
  Speaker 2: I think, I mean, everyone has their reasons for why
• 32:24
  Speaker 2: they do what they do. And I'm sure I had,
• 32:28
  Speaker 2: I played some part in it. Maybe I was too naive.
• 32:32
  Speaker 2: Maybe I... I was too complacent in where I was.
• 32:37
  Speaker 2: You know what I mean? It was a huge wake-up call.
• 32:40
  Speaker 2: So then the years, the three years after that, I
• 32:44
  Speaker 2: spent just trying to be like, oh my gosh, I'll
• 32:46
  Speaker 2: be better. I'll change. I'll do this. I'll get a
• 32:49
  Speaker 2: boob job. I'll grow my hair out long. You know
• 32:52
  Speaker 2: what I mean? You just start hyper-focusing on yourself. It's
• 32:56
  Speaker 2: my fault. What did I do? But really, it wasn't
• 32:59
  Speaker 2: my fault.
• 32:59
  Speaker 1: Did you have a feeling, though, of like, to be better,
• 33:02
  Speaker 1: I need to do these physical things? Mm-hmm. So it
• 33:06
  Speaker 1: was purely physical for.
• 33:07
  Speaker 2: You at that point? Well, I mean, yeah, I just
• 33:09
  Speaker 2: felt so.
• 33:10
  Speaker 1: Because he had cheated, you were like, oh, I... My
• 33:13
  Speaker 1: hair isn't long enough or straight enough or my boobs
• 33:16
  Speaker 1: aren't big enough.
• 33:17
  Speaker 2: You just naturally feel that way. You just naturally have
• 33:21
  Speaker 2: low self-esteem because like, what's good? What, what's not enough
• 33:25
  Speaker 2: about me? Why would you need to do that? But
• 33:28
  Speaker 2: in the end, it really isn't about you. It wasn't
• 33:30
  Speaker 2: about me at all. So I left, I finally left
• 33:34
  Speaker 2: that three years after finding out about the affair and
• 33:37
  Speaker 2: We struggled with that.
• 33:38
  Speaker 1: So you stayed in for another three years.
• 33:40
  Speaker 2: I stayed in just to try to, I mean, there
• 33:43
  Speaker 2: were promises of quitting and promises of giving up this person.
• 33:47
  Speaker 1: Well, you guys had two kids.
• 33:48
  Speaker 2: And we had two kids. And honestly, and we loved
• 33:50
  Speaker 2: each other.
• 33:51
  Speaker 1: I get that. There's a lot of pressure that comes
• 33:52
  Speaker 1: with that too of like, I don't, I want to
• 33:55
  Speaker 1: feel like if this ends, I've done everything that I
• 33:59
  Speaker 1: could do.
• 34:00
  Speaker 2: Yes, exactly. People didn't understand why I stayed. And, but
• 34:04
  Speaker 2: you get it. Like if you have kids and this
• 34:06
  Speaker 2: is your forever person, you're going to do whatever it takes.
• 34:10
  Speaker 2: So I did whatever I thought it took and it
• 34:13
  Speaker 2: still wasn't enough. And in the end I just had
• 34:15
  Speaker 2: to let go. And it literally was like cutting off
• 34:18
  Speaker 2: one of my limbs. It was. We loved each other
• 34:21
  Speaker 2: like so desperately. And he loved me too. Like it
• 34:24
  Speaker 2: was neither one of us wanted this to happen. So
• 34:27
  Speaker 2: that was really, really hard. And I left with really
• 34:30
  Speaker 2: low self-esteem and dated a thousand people. Like I was
• 34:35
  Speaker 2: just like, well, I.
• 34:37
  Speaker 1: Didn't get in the runway. Let's go. Yeah.
• 34:40
  Speaker 2: I was like, I'm going to get it on. I'm
• 34:42
  Speaker 2: going to get, I watched crazy, stupid love with Emma
• 34:44
  Speaker 2: Stone and yeah.
• 34:46
  Speaker 1: And you were like, this is it.
• 34:47
  Speaker 2: I wanted to be the Ryan Gosling.
• 34:48
  Speaker 1: I'm going to find my Ryan Gosling. Yes.
• 34:50
  Speaker 2: I found my inner Ryan Gosling in that movie. And
• 34:53
  Speaker 2: I wanted to be that badass.
• 34:55
  Speaker 1: And dirty dancing lifts and all of it.
• 34:57
  Speaker 2: Yes, exactly. Exactly. Lift me up, baby. Here I come.
• 35:02
  Speaker 2: And I literally probably dated a thousand men in two years.
• 35:06
  Speaker 2: I wrote a book about it. I created a spreadsheet.
• 35:10
  Speaker 1: Yeah. That's really cool.
• 35:12
  Speaker 2: I mean, I still didn't—this might be TMI, but I
• 35:16
  Speaker 2: was very precious about my body. It's not like I
• 35:18
  Speaker 2: slept around. I set a low, low body count, but
• 35:22
  Speaker 2: I kissed a thousand frogs. Let's just put it that way.
• 35:25
  Speaker 1: A low body count.
• 35:26
  Speaker 2: As much as I get accused of high body count hair,
• 35:29
  Speaker 2: that's a thing on my show.
• 35:30
  Speaker 1: Is it? Yes. Okay.
• 35:32
  Speaker 2: My body count is extremely low, but that's okay. Um,
• 35:36
  Speaker 2: no judgment in a high body count either, but it
• 35:38
  Speaker 2: just wasn't for me, but I was precious about that.
• 35:41
  Speaker 2: And I, but I dated 8,000 people basically out of self,
• 35:46
  Speaker 2: just low self-esteem. I really just had to get that.
• 35:50
  Speaker 2: I had to get that out, had to be Ryan
• 35:52
  Speaker 2: Gosling for a season.
• 35:54
  Speaker 1: Were there enough guys that you could date that would
• 35:57
  Speaker 1: make you feel like your self-esteem was good and you
• 36:00
  Speaker 1: felt good about yourself or Cause that's an interesting thing.
• 36:02
  Speaker 1: Like you're trying to fill a hole. Right.
• 36:04
  Speaker 2: I was trying to fill a hole.
• 36:05
  Speaker 1: That doesn't fill.
• 36:07
  Speaker 2: I was literally actually, yes, it was a self-esteem boost
• 36:12
  Speaker 2: to know that I'm wanted because I felt so unwanted,
• 36:15
  Speaker 2: obviously being cheated on. But more than that, I wanted
• 36:19
  Speaker 2: to fill this role of husband, like dutiful husband, loyal
• 36:25
  Speaker 2: husband that could be also like, I wanted to have
• 36:29
  Speaker 2: the perfect family for my kids. I wanted to have
• 36:32
  Speaker 2: the father for my children, that we could be a
• 36:35
  Speaker 2: family together and never break up. I just wanted that
• 36:38
  Speaker 2: eternal family, as they say in my faith. And so
• 36:43
  Speaker 2: I was looking to fill that role. And so I
• 36:45
  Speaker 2: had to just like go through men, like it was
• 36:49
  Speaker 2: a Rolodex spinning to find that.
• 36:51
  Speaker 1: Looking for that next person to fill that space.
• 36:54
  Speaker 2: Exactly, to fill that role.
• 36:55
  Speaker 1: And then you meet someone and you're like, this is
• 36:58
  Speaker 1: the guy.
• 36:58
  Speaker 2: Yes.
• 36:59
  Speaker 1: Get married again.
• 37:00
  Speaker 2: Yeah, we dated for a year, got married again, and
• 37:02
  Speaker 2: I thought it was the perfect setup. Again.
• 37:06
  Speaker 1: I found him.
• 37:07
  Speaker 2: I found him. Thank heavens. The heavens are opening. Birds
• 37:11
  Speaker 2: are singing. Trumpets are blaring. You know what I mean? Like,
• 37:15
  Speaker 2: it was a godsend, and our kids blended perfectly, and
• 37:18
  Speaker 2: we were just the immediate perfect family. And then that
• 37:23
  Speaker 2: all went sideways, and that's what... Wow. How much of
• 37:28
  Speaker 2: a part— That's what I can't talk about.
• 37:30
  Speaker 1: How much of a part in it do you think
• 37:31
  Speaker 1: you played? Because I strongly believe that it takes two people. Like,
• 37:38
  Speaker 1: you can point at one and go, ooh, what you
• 37:40
  Speaker 1: did here was really bad. But then how you responded,
• 37:44
  Speaker 1: who you were, also can play a big part.
• 37:49
  Speaker 2: Absolutely. I think I had blinders on. When people say,
• 37:53
  Speaker 2: you know, the criticism from earlier that I'm man-obsessed.
• 37:56
  Speaker 1: I'm obsessed with men— You're obsessed with love.
• 38:00
  Speaker 2: Yes, I'm obsessed with love. And I'm obsessed with this
• 38:03
  Speaker 2: version of a perfect marriage, a perfect love, a perfect
• 38:07
  Speaker 2: family that I had, that I grew up with. Because
• 38:10
  Speaker 2: my parents, I mean, they were married for 53 years
• 38:13
  Speaker 2: before my mom passed away. We had the perfect family.
• 38:16
  Speaker 2: where everyone was tight. All the siblings loved each other.
• 38:19
  Speaker 2: We still are so tight. My parents desperately loved, you know,
• 38:23
  Speaker 2: I just wanted, I wanted that, wanted that ideal marriage,
• 38:26
  Speaker 2: that ideal family. And so I thought I had that,
• 38:29
  Speaker 2: but I think I had blinders on. That was my,
• 38:31
  Speaker 2: that was my fault is that I was blind. I
• 38:34
  Speaker 2: turned a blind eye to things that I shouldn't have.
• 38:36
  Speaker 1: I think it's tough. We have these expectations of, because
• 38:39
  Speaker 1: my parents had this amazing relationship. I, I want the
• 38:44
  Speaker 1: same thing. And it's like, no, you're, path in life
• 38:48
  Speaker 1: is different you're a different human being so right you
• 38:52
  Speaker 1: are going to um contribute to the world in a completely.
• 38:56
  Speaker 2: Different way yes i love that that's okay yeah like it's.
• 39:02
  Speaker 1: Hard sometimes and you can wish oh my god i
• 39:06
  Speaker 1: wish i had the healthy relationship that that but you
• 39:11
  Speaker 1: are given a different path and you're on a different
• 39:14
  Speaker 1: one because you are capable of handling different.
• 39:16
  Speaker 2: Yeah, I love that. The butterfly effect. Every little decision
• 39:21
  Speaker 2: we make affects the rest of our lives. It's a
• 39:23
  Speaker 2: ripple effect.
• 39:24
  Speaker 1: Whenever people ask me, like, if you could go back
• 39:26
  Speaker 1: in time and change anything, what would you change? Nothing. Absolutely.
• 39:30
  Speaker 2: Nothing. Did you see that movie About Time?
• 39:32
  Speaker 1: No.
• 39:32
  Speaker 2: With Rachel McAdams? That's exactly the question that is asked.
• 39:36
  Speaker 1: Is it?
• 39:36
  Speaker 2: If you could go back and change just one thing.
• 39:39
  Speaker 1: I wouldn't be me right now.
• 39:41
  Speaker 2: Yeah.
• 39:41
  Speaker 1: I wouldn't be the same person. And you love who
• 39:44
  Speaker 1: you are.
• 39:44
  Speaker 2: I love who I am.
• 39:46
  Speaker 1: I understand.
• 39:47
  Speaker 2: But really, like if you could go back, I mean,
• 39:50
  Speaker 2: I say this as a pat answer all the time,
• 39:52
  Speaker 2: and I don't think I'm being completely honest, to be honest.
• 39:55
  Speaker 2: In fact, I just said it a few minutes ago.
• 39:57
  Speaker 2: I wouldn't change a thing. Bullshit. I call bullshit on that.
• 40:00
  Speaker 1: What would you change?
• 40:01
  Speaker 2: I would go back and I would choose several things differently.
• 40:05
  Speaker 2: But I don't want to say because I don't want
• 40:06
  Speaker 2: to cause any disrespect.
• 40:07
  Speaker 1: No, it's not disrespect though. It's not. This is a
• 40:11
  Speaker 1: very genuine, honest conversation.
• 40:13
  Speaker 2: I know, I know.
• 40:14
  Speaker 1: So it's not you mean no disrespect in any of
• 40:18
  Speaker 1: the things that you're talking about. I think you're talking.
• 40:20
  Speaker 2: Well, I don't want to disrespect who I would say
• 40:23
  Speaker 2: this about.
• 40:23
  Speaker 1: Okay.
• 40:24
  Speaker 2: You know what I mean?
• 40:25
  Speaker 1: So then just say it about yourself. What would you
• 40:27
  Speaker 1: change about?
• 40:28
  Speaker 2: Because I would make different decisions in my twenties.
• 40:31
  Speaker 1: But so if we, I, I'm a really, I'm a
• 40:34
  Speaker 1: firm believer in the only control that I have in
• 40:37
  Speaker 1: life is who I choose to be. Yeah. I have
• 40:40
  Speaker 1: no control over the rest of it. Like it could,
• 40:42
  Speaker 1: I could choose to be the greatest person in the world,
• 40:44
  Speaker 1: step off a curb and get hit by a bus
• 40:45
  Speaker 1: and die. Like it doesn't, there's, I have no control
• 40:48
  Speaker 1: over that.
• 40:49
  Speaker 2: True.
• 40:49
  Speaker 1: Who's the person that stepped off the curb. That's what
• 40:51
  Speaker 1: I have control over.
• 40:53
  Speaker 2: Right.
• 40:53
  Speaker 1: So if you could go back in time and change things.
• 40:57
  Speaker 2: Yeah.
• 40:58
  Speaker 1: Choices that you made things you did not necessarily what
• 41:02
  Speaker 1: other people did or situations you were in right what
• 41:07
  Speaker 1: you know in looking back on it people ask me
• 41:09
  Speaker 1: what would you do differently and it's I wouldn't I
• 41:11
  Speaker 1: honestly wouldn't do anything differently because as much as it
• 41:16
  Speaker 1: hurt when I was in those moments yeah I can
• 41:18
  Speaker 1: look back on literally all of them and go it's
• 41:22
  Speaker 1: because of that that I'm now this True.
• 41:24
  Speaker 2: It made you who you are and you love who
• 41:26
  Speaker 2: you are.
• 41:26
  Speaker 1: Those are the catalysts.
• 41:27
  Speaker 2: But really, it's kind of like being on that game
• 41:29
  Speaker 2: show where there's like choose door A or door B. And,
• 41:34
  Speaker 2: you know, you know what A is. And we got
• 41:36
  Speaker 2: to A. We love ourselves at A. But if you
• 41:39
  Speaker 2: could go all the way back to a really pivotal
• 41:42
  Speaker 2: decision that you made that could save you from going
• 41:47
  Speaker 2: through massive heartache, breaking other people's hearts, hurting your children.
• 41:53
  Speaker 2: This and that and the other. Would you choose B?
• 41:56
  Speaker 1: Could it though? Yes. Would it actually undo those things?
• 42:00
  Speaker 2: Well, yes, it would. But how do you know? But
• 42:03
  Speaker 2: how do you know that you wouldn't have other massive problems?
• 42:06
  Speaker 1: I love this conversation we're getting.
• 42:07
  Speaker 2: I do too.
• 42:08
  Speaker 1: For sure.
• 42:08
  Speaker 2: You would have other massive heartaches. And what if you
• 42:11
  Speaker 2: had cancer and died? What if you, you know what
• 42:13
  Speaker 2: I mean? But that's the stuff we have.
• 42:15
  Speaker 1: No control over. Right. Right. That, that's the hard part
• 42:19
  Speaker 1: of life. That is religion, right? Religion is, is just
• 42:22
  Speaker 1: trusting that this is going to end up in a
• 42:25
  Speaker 1: way that I'm okay with.
• 42:27
  Speaker 2: That's faith.
• 42:28
  Speaker 1: It's faith.
• 42:29
  Speaker 2: Well, yeah, but what if you backtracked and you had
• 42:31
  Speaker 2: the knowledge of having gone through Dory all the way.
• 42:34
  Speaker 1: But how would you have the knowledge? That is a,
• 42:37
  Speaker 1: that's a, that's a crazy concept. That's the movie. Okay.
• 42:41
  Speaker 1: But now, okay. But now this is the two of
• 42:43
  Speaker 1: us sitting on a couch. That's a script that's written. Yeah. Okay.
• 42:47
  Speaker 2: So this is, this is, this is a new one
• 42:49
  Speaker 2: being written right now. We're writing a script right now.
• 42:52
  Speaker 2: You have the knowledge, you back up, you choose door B,
• 42:55
  Speaker 2: you have a whole different life.
• 42:57
  Speaker 1: And then all of a sudden you get to the,
• 42:59
  Speaker 1: you get to that same point.
• 43:00
  Speaker 2: And you don't like yourself.
• 43:01
  Speaker 1: You get to the same age that we are right now.
• 43:04
  Speaker 1: We go, Oh my God, this is, I should have chosen.
• 43:06
  Speaker 1: Or you don't.
• 43:07
  Speaker 2: Get to, you don't get to the same age. You
• 43:10
  Speaker 2: die prematurely because you happen to step off a bus,
• 43:13
  Speaker 2: step off a curb and get hit by a bus.
• 43:15
  Speaker 1: You never know. Seriously. Which is why then you should
• 43:18
  Speaker 1: live every moment in the now.
• 43:19
  Speaker 2: 100%.
• 43:21
  Speaker 1: Right? Yeah.
• 43:22
  Speaker 2: And quantum physics. I mean, we might be able to
• 43:24
  Speaker 2: time travel.
• 43:25
  Speaker 1: We might.
• 43:26
  Speaker 2: In fact, time is all relative. It's Einstein's theory of relativity.
• 43:29
  Speaker 1: It's string theory or like, you know, how deep do
• 43:31
  Speaker 1: we want to go into time travel? I've done shows
• 43:34
  Speaker 1: based on string theory and time travel.
• 43:36
  Speaker 2: You have, you have.
• 43:37
  Speaker 1: I'm down to go into it.
• 43:38
  Speaker 2: I'm a quantum physics nerd. Are you? Yes, 100%. Einstein's
• 43:42
  Speaker 2: theory of relativity. Time is relative. It is, yeah. And
• 43:47
  Speaker 2: we're discovering more and more now with AI.
• 43:48
  Speaker 1: For sure.
• 43:49
  Speaker 2: Thanks to AI, which will kill us all, but that's okay.
• 43:52
  Speaker 1: Hence the showtime. I love that the show I did
• 43:57
  Speaker 1: was string theory and fighting AI.
• 44:00
  Speaker 2: No, for real.
• 44:00
  Speaker 1: Which ended the world.
• 44:02
  Speaker 2: Very, very relatable.
• 44:03
  Speaker 1: Oh my God. It's so fun.
• 44:07
  Speaker 2: We're meant to be you and I on this couch
• 44:09
  Speaker 2: right now.
• 44:09
  Speaker 1: Yeah. Having this conversation. It's really interesting because it's conversations
• 44:12
  Speaker 1: like this that open your mind to these different possibilities
• 44:17
  Speaker 1: and you leave and you go, that was a really
• 44:19
  Speaker 1: cool conversation. I've never thought that way necessarily before. And
• 44:22
  Speaker 1: then you continue these conversations with other people and it just,
• 44:27
  Speaker 1: it's a net. It just widens out. It's really fun.
• 44:30
  Speaker 1: You know, it's really fun how you can do that.
• 44:32
  Speaker 2: Sometimes I would absolutely, absolutely choose door A still. I
• 44:37
  Speaker 2: would say, and I stand by, I really love, I mean,
• 44:40
  Speaker 2: everything in my life, knock on wood, is going well
• 44:42
  Speaker 2: right now. Every single thing. a manifestation, everything I'm manifesting
• 44:48
  Speaker 2: ends up coming to be. Um, I really believe in
• 44:50
  Speaker 2: quantum physics and it really works in my favor. My
• 44:54
  Speaker 2: daughters and I talk every day. I mean, I live
• 44:57
  Speaker 2: in a beautiful home. I have a great career. Everything's
• 44:59
  Speaker 2: going great.
• 45:00
  Speaker 1: Right.
• 45:01
  Speaker 2: But, um, and so I would absolutely choose a, but sometimes,
• 45:06
  Speaker 2: sometimes in my weak moments, I would go back and
• 45:09
  Speaker 2: choose what could have been.
• 45:10
  Speaker 1: Yeah. Right.
• 45:11
  Speaker 2: Especially if you have the knowledge, curiosity.
• 45:13
  Speaker 1: Yeah, for sure. So for me.
• 45:26
  Speaker 2: You wouldn't go back to high school, say, make different choices?
• 45:29
  Speaker 1: No, it's too big of a risk to me of
• 45:32
  Speaker 1: not turning out being who I am right now because
• 45:35
  Speaker 1: I genuinely feel like this is... I have found my
• 45:42
  Speaker 1: true calling. I have found... who I'm comfortable being. I've
• 45:47
  Speaker 1: found who the universe has always intended me to be.
• 45:52
  Speaker 1: And I'm on this path of discovering that. And I
• 45:57
  Speaker 1: worry that anything that changed would take me off of
• 46:01
  Speaker 1: this path that I'm on now.
• 46:02
  Speaker 2: It would, right.
• 46:04
  Speaker 1: It would or it would not.
• 46:05
  Speaker 2: You might end up in the exact same place.
• 46:08
  Speaker 1: The exact same place, sure. Yeah.
• 46:10
  Speaker 2: Well, are you in a relationship right now?
• 46:12
  Speaker 1: I am. I'm engaged. Oh my gosh, congratulations. My fiancee, Sharna,
• 46:16
  Speaker 1: is a professional dancer. She is back on this season
• 46:19
  Speaker 1: of Dancing with the Stars, which starts on Tuesday. Oh,
• 46:22
  Speaker 1: my gosh.
• 46:22
  Speaker 2: Congrats. That's incredible.
• 46:24
  Speaker 1: She's a phenomenal dancer. We have a four-year-old.
• 46:27
  Speaker 2: Oh, my gosh.
• 46:28
  Speaker 1: I have five kids.
• 46:29
  Speaker 2: Oh, my gosh. That's exciting.
• 46:32
  Speaker 1: I've done my thing. Yeah.
• 46:34
  Speaker 2: You, you figured out quickly.
• 46:38
  Speaker 1: Like, yeah, I'm not very good at this. Like, you know,
• 46:41
  Speaker 1: avoiding pregnancy thing. Like my, my form of birth control sucks.
• 46:45
  Speaker 2: So I'm just going to know those sperm are just determined.
• 46:50
  Speaker 1: Oh my God.
• 46:51
  Speaker 2: Tenacious little sperm.
• 46:52
  Speaker 1: So tenacious.
• 46:53
  Speaker 2: But Hey, that's great. You're great at spreading your seed.
• 46:59
  Speaker 1: That doesn't sound like, that's not a compliment, right? That's
• 47:04
  Speaker 1: a weird.
• 47:04
  Speaker 2: No, that is not.
• 47:05
  Speaker 1: It's not.
• 47:06
  Speaker 2: That is absolutely.
• 47:07
  Speaker 1: You're great at spreading your seed.
• 47:09
  Speaker 2: Evolutionarily, it's a compliment. Biologically, it's a huge compliment. Are
• 47:14
  Speaker 2: you kidding me?
• 47:15
  Speaker 1: I would kill for that position. Emotionally, not the best.
• 47:20
  Speaker 1: You're coming up a little short.
• 47:22
  Speaker 2: Oh, dang it. I meant it as a compliment.
• 47:24
  Speaker 1: I love, I love parenting though. I love parenting. I
• 47:28
  Speaker 1: always say like, To me, there are two very specific
• 47:34
  Speaker 1: different careers. There's a mother and a father, which people
• 47:38
  Speaker 1: can easily be. Right. But to be a parent, that's
• 47:42
  Speaker 1: the work. Yeah. Getting up in the morning, making lunches,
• 47:45
  Speaker 1: being a part of like after school activities, school itself.
• 47:49
  Speaker 1: And like that is, that's the work. That's so true.
• 47:52
  Speaker 1: And some people are really good at that.
• 47:54
  Speaker 2: Yeah.
• 47:55
  Speaker 1: They're amazing parents. And then some people, that's just not.
• 47:58
  Speaker 2: It's not their thing.
• 47:59
  Speaker 1: It's not their thing.
• 47:59
  Speaker 2: But it's your thing.
• 48:00
  Speaker 1: I love it.
• 48:01
  Speaker 2: I'm so glad.
• 48:02
  Speaker 1: I love it.
• 48:02
  Speaker 2: Cause that's the, that's the reward.
• 48:04
  Speaker 1: Oh yeah.
• 48:05
  Speaker 2: That's the rewarding part.
• 48:06
  Speaker 1: It is.
• 48:06
  Speaker 2: So you have a four year old, a boy or girl.
• 48:09
  Speaker 1: I have a four year old boy. I'm going to
• 48:12
  Speaker 1: get a prison tattoo, a clock with no hands. Cause
• 48:16
  Speaker 1: it's a life sentence for me. Like my manager is
• 48:19
  Speaker 1: going through empty nest. Now I I'll be in my seven.
• 48:23
  Speaker 2: That's amazing. I love that.
• 48:25
  Speaker 1: Yeah.
• 48:26
  Speaker 2: You know what, though? We're going to be a young 70.
• 48:28
  Speaker 2: I mean, the world is changing. They just started reversing
• 48:32
  Speaker 2: age like last month. Except who's that.
• 48:36
  Speaker 1: One guy that was doing all of the 17-year-old things
• 48:40
  Speaker 1: to try and age in reverse? And then he ended up,
• 48:43
  Speaker 1: he has, who is it? Brian Johnson. Brian Johnson. He
• 48:47
  Speaker 1: ended up with some, it like backfired on him. He
• 48:50
  Speaker 1: has an autoimmune issue now. Oh no, crap. Oh yeah.
• 48:54
  Speaker 1: It all went south. Oh no, I don't know this.
• 48:57
  Speaker 1: Because you are.
• 48:58
  Speaker 2: He was doing it on himself?
• 49:00
  Speaker 1: No, he had, he was spending like a million dollars
• 49:03
  Speaker 1: a year. It was a. Like he's done really well
• 49:07
  Speaker 1: in business. And so he was like, I want to
• 49:10
  Speaker 1: age in reverse. Like that's my goal. Yeah. And so
• 49:13
  Speaker 1: he was doing all the supplements. He was doing all
• 49:15
  Speaker 1: the workout plans. He was doing all the meal plans.
• 49:17
  Speaker 1: Like he was very on it.
• 49:18
  Speaker 2: Biohacking.
• 49:19
  Speaker 1: Yeah. Biohacking to the point where he's trying to reverse
• 49:24
  Speaker 1: engineer everything. And his body was like, nope. and shut
• 49:29
  Speaker 1: it down. And now he has all of these autoimmune
• 49:33
  Speaker 1: issues that are, it's become a very big thing. Oh, wow.
• 49:37
  Speaker 2: I did not hear that. Oh, you're breaking my heart here.
• 49:40
  Speaker 2: You're ruining my plan.
• 49:42
  Speaker 1: It's I, you know, I make people feel great and
• 49:45
  Speaker 1: then I break their heart at the same time. That's
• 49:47
  Speaker 1: how this works.
• 49:49
  Speaker 2: I love it. It's working. No, I'm so sad.
• 49:51
  Speaker 1: Shoot.
• 49:52
  Speaker 2: That was my plan, but you're going to be a
• 49:54
  Speaker 2: great 70 father. That's the point. By the time you
• 49:58
  Speaker 2: and I have to worry about it, they'll have it
• 50:00
  Speaker 2: all dialed in.
• 50:00
  Speaker 1: They'll have it all dialed in.
• 50:02
  Speaker 2: Or we'll be dead by robots.
• 50:03
  Speaker 1: We'll have learned from this dude. Yeah.
• 50:05
  Speaker 2: Robots, look at us.
• 50:07
  Speaker 1: Oh my God. Can you imagine? No, I, so I love, like,
• 50:11
  Speaker 1: I love my 50s. I love them.
• 50:13
  Speaker 2: Me too. Me too.
• 50:15
  Speaker 1: I genuinely feel like this is my favorite decade so far.
• 50:18
  Speaker 2: And I'm jealous you have a four-year-old because that's just like, oh,
• 50:22
  Speaker 2: that's so fun. Has he started preschool?
• 50:26
  Speaker 1: He's in TK. Yeah, he's in pre.
• 50:28
  Speaker 2: Do you like go and like watch?
• 50:30
  Speaker 1: This is his second year of pre-K.
• 50:33
  Speaker 2: Do you have to pry yourself away?
• 50:35
  Speaker 1: So every once in a while, like the school send
• 50:40
  Speaker 1: like pictures and videos of what they did. And it's
• 50:44
  Speaker 1: so cute. It's so cute. Because the things that they
• 50:48
  Speaker 1: find joy in, it just reminds you of like, I
• 50:52
  Speaker 1: need to simplify my mind.
• 50:54
  Speaker 2: I love it. I'm so happy for you.
• 50:56
  Speaker 1: I've gone down the rabbit hole of like, I need
• 50:59
  Speaker 1: all of these things. And I just want it to
• 51:01
  Speaker 1: be simple again where it's like, oh, tie-dying was so
• 51:04
  Speaker 1: much fun and it was so great all going on
• 51:06
  Speaker 1: this nature walk and picking rocks. And he'll come home
• 51:11
  Speaker 1: from school and the whole front pocket of his backpack
• 51:14
  Speaker 1: will be full of rocks. But they're all like crystals
• 51:17
  Speaker 1: and jewels to him that he found. Right. It's like, yeah,
• 51:20
  Speaker 1: that's okay. But they're not. But, you know, cool. Cool.
• 51:23
  Speaker 2: Oh, that's precious.
• 51:24
  Speaker 1: And then I have to go through and like, while
• 51:26
  Speaker 1: he's not looking, remove them all and put them all
• 51:28
  Speaker 1: back in the yard. Right, right. And hope that he
• 51:31
  Speaker 1: just forgets. He doesn't go through and go, where are
• 51:33
  Speaker 1: my jewels? Yeah, right. Oh my God, where are your jewels?
• 51:35
  Speaker 2: Where are they? They made it their way outside.
• 51:37
  Speaker 1: And then I have to create some lie of like,
• 51:39
  Speaker 1: you know, oh, the jewel fairy came and, you know,
• 51:41
  Speaker 1: put them back outside because that's how the world works.
• 51:45
  Speaker 2: Right. Oh gosh, that's funny.
• 51:47
  Speaker 1: So, okay. So you went into, married the second time. Yeah.
• 51:52
  Speaker 2: Yeah.
• 51:53
  Speaker 1: Goal of this is it. This is the one, which
• 51:55
  Speaker 1: to me, every marriage is that.
• 52:00
  Speaker 2: Right.
• 52:00
  Speaker 1: You do it one time. Right.
• 52:02
  Speaker 2: You don't get married to like a divorce.
• 52:04
  Speaker 1: That's never the end goal is like, let's see how
• 52:06
  Speaker 1: long this one lasts. It's like, this should be the
• 52:09
  Speaker 1: one where you go, okay, this is, I'm good now.
• 52:12
  Speaker 1: I don't ever have to worry about this part of
• 52:14
  Speaker 1: my life again.
• 52:14
  Speaker 2: This is my person forever and ever till death do
• 52:16
  Speaker 2: we part.
• 52:17
  Speaker 1: Right. I have my person. That's a funny statement, though,
• 52:20
  Speaker 1: till death do us part.
• 52:21
  Speaker 2: Yeah.
• 52:22
  Speaker 1: I had this conversation with someone not too long ago,
• 52:25
  Speaker 1: and it was, oh, we were doing an episode of
• 52:29
  Speaker 1: I Do Part Two, and it was all the guys,
• 52:31
  Speaker 1: and we were sort of talking about that, and we
• 52:33
  Speaker 1: were answering questions that would come in as voicemails or emails.
• 52:38
  Speaker 1: And I was thinking about it, and I was like,
• 52:40
  Speaker 1: you know what? Till death do us part is.
• 52:46
  Speaker 1: It's interesting. I wonder what the true meaning of that is.
• 52:50
  Speaker 1: So you are into quantum physics and all that. The
• 52:55
  Speaker 1: death of this relationship? Or is it the physical death
• 53:00
  Speaker 1: of our lives? If it's the death of this relationship, then...
• 53:06
  Speaker 1: Are you then not proud of it lasted for five years,
• 53:09
  Speaker 1: but oh my God, we saw the entire five years
• 53:12
  Speaker 1: through and we got to the death of the relationship.
• 53:14
  Speaker 1: I think that's a great.
• 53:15
  Speaker 2: Way to look at it. That's the Brad Pitt way. Right?
• 53:18
  Speaker 2: Didn't he say something about that when he and Angelina split?
• 53:22
  Speaker 2: He did. He said something like- I'd love him if
• 53:24
  Speaker 2: he did. It was Jennifer Aniston. He said something like, well,
• 53:28
  Speaker 2: let's just be proud that it lasted this long. Let's
• 53:32
  Speaker 2: not look at like, It should have lasted longer.
• 53:34
  Speaker 1: Yeah.
• 53:34
  Speaker 2: Not look at it as a failure. I love that idea.
• 53:36
  Speaker 2: It's a success.
• 53:37
  Speaker 1: We lived the entire life of what this relationship was
• 53:40
  Speaker 1: supposed to be. Yeah. And you get amazing things out
• 53:43
  Speaker 1: of a relationship and then you move on from it.
• 53:45
  Speaker 1: You go, okay, next step in life.
• 53:47
  Speaker 2: Exactly.
• 53:48
  Speaker 1: I think people sometimes put pressure on marriage thinking that
• 53:57
  Speaker 1: It's supposed to last my entire physical life.
• 54:01
  Speaker 2: Well, that's what it means. That's what it literally means
• 54:03
  Speaker 2: till death do us part. I mean, that's what the intent,
• 54:06
  Speaker 2: those who wrote the script intended it to mean.
• 54:08
  Speaker 1: Those who wrote the vows. Right.
• 54:10
  Speaker 2: Wrote the vows.
• 54:12
  Speaker 1: Because those were written by someone.
• 54:13
  Speaker 2: Yes, they were till death do us part. They intended physical,
• 54:17
  Speaker 2: physical death, but.
• 54:19
  Speaker 1: Are you sure?
• 54:19
  Speaker 2: I'm pretty sure. Pretty sure they weren't into the whole
• 54:23
  Speaker 2: quantum physics back then.
• 54:25
  Speaker 1: But who knows? Who wrote the vows?
• 54:28
  Speaker 2: I mean, I don't know.
• 54:29
  Speaker 1: Do you know? I don't.
• 54:31
  Speaker 2: I don't. So what was the intention? That's a really
• 54:34
  Speaker 2: good question.
• 54:35
  Speaker 1: What was the intention when the vows were written?
• 54:37
  Speaker 2: I don't know.
• 54:38
  Speaker 1: And who wrote them?
• 54:39
  Speaker 2: Don't you think they were pretty much, I mean, they
• 54:42
  Speaker 2: were meant to be physical, but you and I can
• 54:44
  Speaker 2: interpret them to be anything.
• 54:45
  Speaker 1: Well, but I mean, we can have the same conversation
• 54:48
  Speaker 1: with religion and all of the different books. Like, you know,
• 54:51
  Speaker 1: do I take them literally? Do I take them as like,
• 54:54
  Speaker 1: do I interpret them in a different way? And they're
• 54:56
  Speaker 1: all sort of open books. That way. So it really
• 55:00
  Speaker 1: becomes the fun thing for thinkers. Right.
• 55:04
  Speaker 2: For free thinkers.
• 55:04
  Speaker 1: To go in and go.
• 55:05
  Speaker 2: Because we free think. Yeah.
• 55:08
  Speaker 1: Like I wonder, I want to find the version of
• 55:11
  Speaker 1: it because this rings true to me to read it.
• 55:15
  Speaker 1: But my, it rings true to me being interpreted a
• 55:18
  Speaker 1: different way.
• 55:19
  Speaker 2: Well, you and I have the liberty and the, yeah,
• 55:24
  Speaker 2: we can interpret things differently than the way they were intended.
• 55:28
  Speaker 2: But I don't, I think that the longer, the more
• 55:31
  Speaker 2: time goes on, the more people can free think or
• 55:35
  Speaker 2: just naturally. And we're going to start interpreting. Some of us,
• 55:39
  Speaker 2: not all of us human beings, but a lot of
• 55:42
  Speaker 2: us just start thinking of it as a parable or
• 55:46
  Speaker 2: a metaphor.
• 55:46
  Speaker 1: Whereas.
• 55:48
  Speaker 2: Like people literally believe the Bible word for word, like,
• 55:51
  Speaker 2: like in a literal sense.
• 55:53
  Speaker 1: Absolutely.
• 55:54
  Speaker 2: And I think that the more.
• 55:56
  Speaker 1: Educated you are. And those are people I have that
• 55:58
  Speaker 1: I want to have conversations with.
• 55:59
  Speaker 2: Yeah. Well, and so we're talking about the same thing
• 56:01
  Speaker 2: with the vows, you know, the vows were written a
• 56:03
  Speaker 2: long time ago and it was probably most likely written literally. And,
• 56:09
  Speaker 2: but now you and.
• 56:10
  Speaker 1: I are kind of interpreted a million times and I've got,
• 56:12
  Speaker 1: you know, like it's, I can go to a, you know,
• 56:16
  Speaker 1: take a class and within two hours be ordained and
• 56:19
  Speaker 1: all of a sudden I can say the vow. Right, right.
• 56:21
  Speaker 1: But they're all interpretations and they're all from the, it
• 56:25
  Speaker 1: depends on the school you go to. It depends on
• 56:28
  Speaker 1: your own feelings. And so you see these ceremonies and
• 56:31
  Speaker 1: they can be very different because people interpret them.
• 56:34
  Speaker 2: So what is your wedding going to be like? Have
• 56:37
  Speaker 2: you guys decided when.
• 56:38
  Speaker 1: Where, how? We haven't decided when or where because we're both,
• 56:44
  Speaker 1: extremely busy in life. We completely live our lives together.
• 56:50
  Speaker 1: We own a home together. We were in this. So
• 56:54
  Speaker 1: to me, the wedding weddings are much more for everyone
• 56:59
  Speaker 1: else to see. It's like you are showing everybody else
• 57:04
  Speaker 1: like this is how much we love each other. It's
• 57:07
  Speaker 1: not for us. We're already married. Like we already Yeah.
• 57:11
  Speaker 1: Are together and we share everything. Right. We love each other.
• 57:14
  Speaker 2: You share a life.
• 57:15
  Speaker 1: You know, and she is my person and I want
• 57:19
  Speaker 1: to be hers. And I'm constantly trying to see what
• 57:23
  Speaker 1: it is I'm lacking, what I can do better, what
• 57:25
  Speaker 1: would make her feel.
• 57:26
  Speaker 2: Better in these moments. And that's what's going to make
• 57:29
  Speaker 2: it successful.
• 57:31
  Speaker 1: Constantly being aware.
• 57:32
  Speaker 2: And it's going to be successful.
• 57:33
  Speaker 1: For how long it's going to be successful.
• 57:35
  Speaker 2: That's such a good point.
• 57:37
  Speaker 1: Yes. Yes.
• 57:38
  Speaker 2: But the more you can make space for each other
• 57:41
  Speaker 2: is what I've noticed and really be sensitive to how
• 57:44
  Speaker 2: the other person is feeling in the relationship and what
• 57:47
  Speaker 2: can I change to make you feel better? How can
• 57:51
  Speaker 2: I help you is what makes a relationship last.
• 57:55
  Speaker 1: There's no better way to stay on the same path
• 57:57
  Speaker 1: than to go, hey, what is... What path are you on?
• 57:59
  Speaker 1: How can I help you stay on that path? And
• 58:01
  Speaker 1: then I go, Ooh, I like the way that that
• 58:03
  Speaker 1: worked with you. And so then I adopt it to
• 58:06
  Speaker 1: my path. And then of course we stay on the
• 58:08
  Speaker 1: same path. It's as soon as you stop communicating about
• 58:12
  Speaker 1: everything and start out and stop actually caring and you
• 58:15
  Speaker 1: become selfish.
• 58:16
  Speaker 2: Stop caring.
• 58:17
  Speaker 1: Yeah. Paths and. Yep.
• 58:19
  Speaker 2: Divert.
• 58:21
  Speaker 1: Yes.
• 58:22
  Speaker 2: Beautifully said. Yeah, you guys are going to be great.
• 58:26
  Speaker 2: I'm excited for you.
• 58:27
  Speaker 1: Well, I hope so. Now, there are two other women
• 58:31
  Speaker 1: on the show with you who are going through it.
• 58:36
  Speaker 2: I know. I know.
• 58:37
  Speaker 1: And how long have they been married?
• 58:39
  Speaker 2: Angie's been married, I mean, decades. Decades.
• 58:43
  Speaker 1: Decades. Kids.
• 58:44
  Speaker 2: Yeah, kid.
• 58:45
  Speaker 1: Kid.
• 58:46
  Speaker 2: Teenage girl, yep. Whitney, like, I mean, over 10 years.
• 58:51
  Speaker 1: Kids. Kids.
• 58:54
  Speaker 2: I would say 15, 16 years they've been married at least. Yeah,
• 58:58
  Speaker 2: they're in it.
• 58:59
  Speaker 1: And are they devastated or are they in a point
• 59:01
  Speaker 1: where they're kind of excited about the possibility of what
• 59:05
  Speaker 1: life is next for them?
• 59:08
  Speaker 2: I would say it's sacred. to say devastated. I, um,
• 59:13
  Speaker 2: I can't speak for them obviously, but they, I just
• 59:17
  Speaker 2: putting myself in their shoes, I would be devastated. And
• 59:20
  Speaker 2: I think it's clear from what they've said on the
• 59:23
  Speaker 2: meat in the media that they're devastated. It's devastating.
• 59:27
  Speaker 1: Yeah.
• 59:27
  Speaker 2: You know, you have kids with somebody they're, It's your
• 59:30
  Speaker 2: husband for heaven's sakes. And it's devastating.
• 59:43
  Speaker 1: You set these expectations and you sort of, you have
• 59:46
  Speaker 1: this dream in your head, like you've envisioned it all,
• 59:50
  Speaker 1: how you're going to retire, the home you're going to have,
• 59:52
  Speaker 1: the things you're going to do. And then all of
• 59:54
  Speaker 1: a sudden when you, that all comes to an abrupt
• 59:58
  Speaker 1: end and you realize like, Oh, I saw all these things,
• 1:00:02
  Speaker 1: but I'm not, we're not going to see them through. Right.
• 1:00:04
  Speaker 1: That sucks. It's that, that's a hard thing to, to
• 1:00:09
  Speaker 1: wrap your head around and then sort of get through. Right.
• 1:00:13
  Speaker 1: But you will get through the more I, I always
• 1:00:16
  Speaker 1: say the more you talk, the more you really sit
• 1:00:21
  Speaker 1: and analyze it and figure it out and figure out
• 1:00:23
  Speaker 1: what part you played in it. Not like, It's easy
• 1:00:27
  Speaker 1: to point a finger and go, oh, they did this.
• 1:00:29
  Speaker 1: They did that.
• 1:00:30
  Speaker 2: They did.
• 1:00:32
  Speaker 1: It's not going to help you. Right. It's going to
• 1:00:34
  Speaker 1: give you a reason where like therapy is really fun
• 1:00:36
  Speaker 1: for the first couple times because you're in hitting pillows
• 1:00:39
  Speaker 1: and you're yelling about all the people that have done
• 1:00:40
  Speaker 1: you wrong and all this stuff. Yeah, yeah. And then
• 1:00:43
  Speaker 1: all of a sudden it's like, okay, cool.
• 1:00:46
  Speaker 2: Now what?
• 1:00:46
  Speaker 1: I've done it. Yeah. Now what am I going to
• 1:00:48
  Speaker 1: do in here? Yeah. And then you have to turn
• 1:00:51
  Speaker 1: it around and go, okay, what do I do that
• 1:00:53
  Speaker 1: I no longer want to do, that I no longer
• 1:00:55
  Speaker 1: want to subject someone else to that doesn't deserve this? X, Y,
• 1:01:00
  Speaker 1: and Z. That's such a good point. We collect all
• 1:01:04
  Speaker 1: these red flags in life, in relationships, and then we
• 1:01:08
  Speaker 1: look for those in these new relationships. And we go, oop,
• 1:01:12
  Speaker 1: there's that red flag. Okay, pumped the brakes on that.
• 1:01:15
  Speaker 1: I'm not going to fall for that one again. Yeah.
• 1:01:19
  Speaker 1: That person doesn't own those red flags. That person is
• 1:01:23
  Speaker 1: not the reason that that red flag was in your life.
• 1:01:25
  Speaker 1: The person that put them in your life is. So
• 1:01:28
  Speaker 1: it's unfair to put that burden on someone else. What?
• 1:01:33
  Speaker 2: Okay, you're blowing my mind here.
• 1:01:34
  Speaker 1: But think about it.
• 1:01:35
  Speaker 2: Explain that again. I need to fully assimilate this.
• 1:01:39
  Speaker 1: I've gone through relationship things. I have a bunch of
• 1:01:44
  Speaker 1: red flags and things that I've collected where it's kind
• 1:01:46
  Speaker 1: of my safety net. It's like, Okay, I don't have control,
• 1:01:50
  Speaker 1: but I want to try and have as much control
• 1:01:53
  Speaker 1: as I can. So I want to look for these
• 1:01:55
  Speaker 1: things that I know could go south. Then you and
• 1:01:59
  Speaker 1: I start dating. We have a relationship. You are nothing
• 1:02:03
  Speaker 1: like the person that I was with before. But I've
• 1:02:06
  Speaker 1: got all those red flags from that person on you.
• 1:02:09
  Speaker 1: And it's unfair because you're like, I didn't cause that pain.
• 1:02:15
  Speaker 1: I'm not someone that lies to you about this or
• 1:02:18
  Speaker 1: has put you through this. So it's unfair for you
• 1:02:20
  Speaker 1: to put that burden on me because you're not allowing
• 1:02:23
  Speaker 1: me to be a thousand percent me. I see.
• 1:02:28
  Speaker 2: You mean like red flags, meaning kind of hypersensitivity to
• 1:02:31
  Speaker 2: certain traits.
• 1:02:32
  Speaker 1: Sure.
• 1:02:33
  Speaker 2: Is that, is that what you're saying?
• 1:02:34
  Speaker 1: Yeah.
• 1:02:34
  Speaker 2: But it's not fair.
• 1:02:35
  Speaker 1: Red flags are things that you, that you have to
• 1:02:39
  Speaker 1: protect yourself. They're these like little sort of crutches in
• 1:02:41
  Speaker 1: these things, these walls that you put up, And as
• 1:02:44
  Speaker 1: soon as you see something that is similar, ooh, my
• 1:02:46
  Speaker 1: ex-husband said something similar to that. Oh, I know where
• 1:02:49
  Speaker 1: this is going to go. It's like, no, you don't.
• 1:02:52
  Speaker 1: This person isn't your ex-husband. They may have said it
• 1:02:57
  Speaker 1: with a completely different meaning. The context is completely different.
• 1:03:01
  Speaker 1: But you are not allowing that person to have their
• 1:03:05
  Speaker 1: own context on it because immediately you put your ex-husband
• 1:03:09
  Speaker 1: on it.
• 1:03:09
  Speaker 2: Oh my gosh, my mind is blown. That is such
• 1:03:12
  Speaker 2: a good point.
• 1:03:14
  Speaker 1: But we make it so hard on ourselves.
• 1:03:15
  Speaker 2: That is my biggest takeaway from today.
• 1:03:16
  Speaker 1: We make it so hard on ourselves.
• 1:03:18
  Speaker 2: Yeah.
• 1:03:19
  Speaker 1: And we make it then so hard on our partner
• 1:03:21
  Speaker 1: because our partner has to live with the baggage that
• 1:03:26
  Speaker 1: somebody else created.
• 1:03:27
  Speaker 2: That's so true. And it's not fair.
• 1:03:30
  Speaker 1: It's not fair. When I look back on probably the
• 1:03:35
  Speaker 1: greatest relationship until the one I'm in now that I
• 1:03:37
  Speaker 1: had was my first because I had no red flags.
• 1:03:41
  Speaker 1: I loved a thousand percent. I was like, here's all
• 1:03:45
  Speaker 1: of me. This feels amazing. And then all of a
• 1:03:48
  Speaker 1: sudden you get hurt and you go, oh my God,
• 1:03:50
  Speaker 1: how can I avoid being hurt like that again? Cause
• 1:03:52
  Speaker 1: that was terrible. So then you start finding all the
• 1:03:55
  Speaker 1: little things. Okay. Well just don't invest the same way.
• 1:03:59
  Speaker 1: Look out for little things because this went wrong before.
• 1:04:02
  Speaker 1: So I'm going to make sure that doesn't go wrong again.
• 1:04:05
  Speaker 1: I'm going to kind of shield myself from these things.
• 1:04:10
  Speaker 1: But then you don't fully love again.
• 1:04:12
  Speaker 2: Right, right.
• 1:04:13
  Speaker 1: Until you go, okay, I'm going to throw all those
• 1:04:15
  Speaker 1: out and it's hard. Yeah. It's painful and it's scary. Yeah.
• 1:04:20
  Speaker 1: Because it could hurt just like it did that first
• 1:04:24
  Speaker 1: time or it could not.
• 1:04:26
  Speaker 2: And what happened? I'm like on the edge of my
• 1:04:28
  Speaker 2: seat here.
• 1:04:29
  Speaker 1: Or you end up with an amazing relationship. I'm in
• 1:04:31
  Speaker 1: an amazing relationship now.
• 1:04:33
  Speaker 2: So that's what you did. You're saying.
• 1:04:35
  Speaker 1: But she reminds me of it all the time. Like
• 1:04:37
  Speaker 1: I'll react to her in a certain way where she
• 1:04:40
  Speaker 1: knows I'm not reacting to her. I'm reacting to the
• 1:04:44
  Speaker 1: life I've lived and the things that I went through before.
• 1:04:47
  Speaker 1: And she'll remind me, she'll say to me, I'm not that.
• 1:04:50
  Speaker 1: I would never do that. You're safe from that. So
• 1:04:55
  Speaker 1: then I can sit back and I can.
• 1:04:57
  Speaker 2: You can relax.
• 1:04:57
  Speaker 1: Relax.
• 1:04:58
  Speaker 2: Oh, I'm so happy for you that you have that.
• 1:05:01
  Speaker 1: Those are the conversations. Those are the conversations you should
• 1:05:03
  Speaker 1: be having with the person.
• 1:05:04
  Speaker 2: But you're with someone that holds space for you and
• 1:05:07
  Speaker 2: that gently reminds you, look, you can let your walls down.
• 1:05:11
  Speaker 2: You can let your guard down. You're safe with me.
• 1:05:13
  Speaker 2: That's huge.
• 1:05:14
  Speaker 1: That's a two-way street though. I know.
• 1:05:16
  Speaker 2: But Brian, I'm so happy for you.
• 1:05:18
  Speaker 1: Thank you. That's a relationship that you create.
• 1:05:20
  Speaker 2: It is a two-way street. Both people have to do it.
• 1:05:23
  Speaker 2: One person can't do it and.
• 1:05:24
  Speaker 1: The other person not do it. Yeah. If I am
• 1:05:26
  Speaker 1: completely guarded and I don't share anything with her, then
• 1:05:29
  Speaker 1: she doesn't feel safe sharing with me. And then all
• 1:05:31
  Speaker 1: of a sudden we are walking on eggshells around each
• 1:05:33
  Speaker 1: other because of all these unsaid things.
• 1:05:36
  Speaker 2: It takes two.
• 1:05:37
  Speaker 1: Just fucking say them. I agree.
• 1:05:39
  Speaker 2: Just say it all.
• 1:05:39
  Speaker 1: I agree.
• 1:05:39
  Speaker 2: Talk about everything. But you got to find someone that is...
• 1:05:43
  Speaker 2: But you got to find someone like you have that
• 1:05:45
  Speaker 2: is willing to care about how you feel about things.
• 1:05:49
  Speaker 2: You know, it that way.
• 1:05:50
  Speaker 1: Yeah.
• 1:05:51
  Speaker 2: Yeah.
• 1:05:51
  Speaker 1: It's, I was really lucky in the relationship because we
• 1:05:56
  Speaker 1: started that way.
• 1:05:57
  Speaker 2: I love that.
• 1:05:57
  Speaker 1: We started with a true, let's just talk. Yeah. Let's
• 1:06:02
  Speaker 1: just be friends. Let's talk about the things we're good at,
• 1:06:04
  Speaker 1: the things we're not good at, like our insecurities, our stuff.
• 1:06:08
  Speaker 1: We didn't put the mask on of like, This is
• 1:06:10
  Speaker 1: what someone's going to like best about me. Because then
• 1:06:14
  Speaker 1: that is, to me, that is. It's disingenuous. And it's
• 1:06:19
  Speaker 1: just like that is the, what do you call it?
• 1:06:25
  Speaker 1: You can only last for like six months or so. Oh, yeah.
• 1:06:29
  Speaker 2: As an expiration date.
• 1:06:30
  Speaker 1: As an expiration date. Before all of a sudden you're
• 1:06:34
  Speaker 1: traveling and you're stressed. Right. You're going through life and
• 1:06:36
  Speaker 1: you're going through things. Right. And you're like, man, I
• 1:06:38
  Speaker 1: can no longer sustain this. this facade that I put on.
• 1:06:42
  Speaker 2: Yeah.
• 1:06:44
  Speaker 1: Yeah. So you got to start it in the right place.
• 1:06:47
  Speaker 2: Well, I hope to have your luck. I'm not looking
• 1:06:50
  Speaker 2: right now. I'm not even really interested in dating. I'm
• 1:06:53
  Speaker 2: just sort of like burned out.
• 1:06:55
  Speaker 1: But I really hope that the next time you meet someone,
• 1:07:01
  Speaker 1: you start it from that place of like, you're just
• 1:07:04
  Speaker 1: being you. The guards are down. talking about your life.
• 1:07:08
  Speaker 1: You're talking about where you are now. You're talking about
• 1:07:10
  Speaker 1: what you want.
• 1:07:11
  Speaker 2: I love your analogies.
• 1:07:12
  Speaker 1: Yeah. And then they go, you know what? I, it's
• 1:07:15
  Speaker 1: really similar for me.
• 1:07:17
  Speaker 2: Yeah.
• 1:07:17
  Speaker 1: Really? This is amazing. And then you start getting into
• 1:07:19
  Speaker 1: these conversations and you go, that was an unbelievable conversation.
• 1:07:23
  Speaker 1: Can we do this again?
• 1:07:24
  Speaker 2: And you hold space for each other in the same
• 1:07:26
  Speaker 2: ways that are compatible.
• 1:07:28
  Speaker 1: And you may, and then you make a choice of
• 1:07:31
  Speaker 1: we're going to do this always.
• 1:07:33
  Speaker 2: Love that.
• 1:07:33
  Speaker 1: Yeah.
• 1:07:36
  Speaker 2: It'll happen for me someday.
• 1:07:37
  Speaker 1: It absolutely will.
• 1:07:38
  Speaker 2: I'm in love with love.
• 1:07:39
  Speaker 1: You just have to be in the right space.
• 1:07:40
  Speaker 2: Yes.
• 1:07:41
  Speaker 1: You know, you have to make sure that you're in
• 1:07:42
  Speaker 1: the right space where you don't have expectations above finding
• 1:07:47
  Speaker 1: a partner, finding a friend, finding a person.
• 1:07:51
  Speaker 2: Right.
• 1:07:51
  Speaker 1: Yeah. You're totally going to do this. Love. Because you're
• 1:07:56
  Speaker 1: so great at sitting and talking and doing it. You
• 1:08:00
  Speaker 1: just need to find somebody else to sit opposite you
• 1:08:02
  Speaker 1: and go, yeah, let's do this together.
• 1:08:04
  Speaker 2: Yeah, I agree.
• 1:08:06
  Speaker 1: You'll absolutely do it.
• 1:08:07
  Speaker 2: Yeah. I think so too. Oh, I'm so glad we
• 1:08:10
  Speaker 2: had this talk. This was so nice.
• 1:08:12
  Speaker 1: It was amazing. You know, this show is I do
• 1:08:15
  Speaker 1: part two. Like this is, I, I always genuinely hope
• 1:08:20
  Speaker 1: that people listen to this and it helps them step
• 1:08:25
  Speaker 1: into the world with a little more clarity and a
• 1:08:27
  Speaker 1: little more understanding of how simple it can be if
• 1:08:32
  Speaker 1: they go in with the right intentions. You can either
• 1:08:35
  Speaker 1: make it really hard for yourself by not communicating and
• 1:08:38
  Speaker 1: not doing the things and then being unsure and putting
• 1:08:40
  Speaker 1: up the guards in the walls and trying to shield
• 1:08:42
  Speaker 1: yourself from life.
• 1:08:43
  Speaker 2: Trying to manipulate it, work it, yeah.
• 1:08:45
  Speaker 1: It's never going to happen.
• 1:08:47
  Speaker 2: You're right.
• 1:08:48
  Speaker 1: You're right. Yeah. So, you know, jump in and do it. Okay,
• 1:08:52
  Speaker 1: so first of all, yeah, you can catch Brittany and
• 1:08:54
  Speaker 1: the rest of the crew on the new season of
• 1:08:56
  Speaker 1: Real Housewives of Salt Lake City. That's Wednesdays. on Bravo
• 1:09:01
  Speaker 1: and it's streaming on Peacock the very next day. So
• 1:09:04
  Speaker 1: it's on Bravo the first night. And then it's like, hey,
• 1:09:06
  Speaker 1: if you missed it.
• 1:09:07
  Speaker 2: It's live on Bravo. Yep.
• 1:09:08
  Speaker 1: Got it. Okay. If you're going through a divorce, you're
• 1:09:13
  Speaker 1: trying to find your way again, we're here to help.
• 1:09:15
  Speaker 1: So send us an email, leave us a voicemail. All
• 1:09:18
  Speaker 1: the info is in the show notes. You can follow
• 1:09:20
  Speaker 1: us on socials. I do part two. It's an iHeartRadio
• 1:09:24
  Speaker 1: podcast where falling in love is the main objective. And
• 1:09:27
  Speaker 1: it really is. See you next time.