Latest / The Ben and Ashley I Almost Famous Podcast / Dirty Rush: Shocking Sorority Rush Behavior

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Dirty Rush: Shocking Sorority Rush Behavior · The Ben and Ashley I Almost Famous Podcast

• 0:01
  Speaker 1: Welcome to Dirty Rush, The Truth about Sorority Life with
• 0:04
  Speaker 1: your hosts me Gia.
• 0:06
  Speaker 2: Jude, Daisy Kent, and Jennifer Kessler.
• 0:11
  Speaker 1: Hey guys, it's Ga jud Dice and welcome back to
• 0:13
  Speaker 1: another week of Dirty Rush.
• 0:16
  Speaker 3: This week, I have a.
• 0:17
  Speaker 1: Very fun celebrity guest, Mercedes North, up from The Bachelor.
• 0:23
  Speaker 1: So going into this episode, we kind of wanted to
• 0:25
  Speaker 1: bring in celebrities to get their perspective on sorority life,
• 0:30
  Speaker 1: but our producers have another idea for us. So we're
• 0:34
  Speaker 1: having a total switch up on this episode. And apparently
• 0:37
  Speaker 1: it's a topic that we need to talk about. I
• 0:40
  Speaker 1: don't know the topic, so let's find out.
• 0:43
  Speaker 4: So.
• 0:43
  Speaker 5: I just learned about something last night about sorority rush
• 0:47
  Speaker 5: that literally has me in shock. So I learned it
• 0:52
  Speaker 5: from my niece, who is I'm fifty one, so she
• 0:55
  Speaker 5: is twenty, so she is almost twenty. She's significantly younger.
• 0:58
  Speaker 5: She told me this was a thing, and I told
• 1:00
  Speaker 5: her she was lying. I said, this is not a thing, this.
• 1:04
  Speaker 3: Is not real.
• 1:05
  Speaker 5: I did not want you guys to know what it
• 1:06
  Speaker 5: was because I want to find out genuine reactions. If
• 1:09
  Speaker 5: this is now something that goes on in sorority rush.
• 1:12
  Speaker 5: I heard it has two different names. It is called
• 1:14
  Speaker 5: throwing around or dead fishing, So I immediately said, what
• 1:21
  Speaker 5: are you talking about? And she said, basically, what happens
• 1:24
  Speaker 5: is if you're a middle house, because I don't think
• 1:26
  Speaker 5: this would happen at a top tier house. If you're
• 1:29
  Speaker 5: a middle house, girls that come in want to not
• 1:34
  Speaker 5: get invited back because they think they are beating the system, essentially,
• 1:40
  Speaker 5: which people listening this is not work, Like, I'm convinced
• 1:44
  Speaker 5: this does not work, this is completely crazy. So they
• 1:48
  Speaker 5: go in and they intentionally are quiet, not maybe not
• 1:53
  Speaker 5: even nice, disinterested, so that that house does not invite
• 1:58
  Speaker 5: them back. Because I guess it's called dead fishing or
• 2:02
  Speaker 5: throwing the round. I guess that the theory for them
• 2:05
  Speaker 5: is they think they're beating the system so that if
• 2:07
  Speaker 5: they don't get invited back to these middle houses, they
• 2:10
  Speaker 5: will help them get the.
• 2:11
  Speaker 3: Top ten house.
• 2:11
  Speaker 1: So they kind of try to shit the bed and
• 2:15
  Speaker 1: not put any effort in to a house that essentially,
• 2:18
  Speaker 1: in their mind they think it doesn't matter, so that
• 2:21
  Speaker 1: they'll eliminate those houses and automatically go to top tier.
• 2:25
  Speaker 5: Correct knowing what I know, it seems absolutely insane. I've
• 2:31
  Speaker 5: never heard of anything that's crazy. This would never have
• 2:33
  Speaker 5: happened in my era because I just first of all,
• 2:38
  Speaker 5: it's trying to game the system, which doesn't work right.
• 2:42
  Speaker 3: But two it's so mean.
• 2:44
  Speaker 5: I'm like, how can this be real? So that is
• 2:48
  Speaker 5: the topic. We have found people who either know about
• 2:53
  Speaker 5: this or who may even admit they did it, so
• 2:57
  Speaker 5: I would love for you guys to talk to them,
• 3:00
  Speaker 5: and I just will say, I do not think this
• 3:03
  Speaker 5: happened in my era or even like ten years younger
• 3:06
  Speaker 5: than me, fifteen years than me. Well, this seems much
• 3:09
  Speaker 5: more something now and I'm like horrified by it.
• 3:13
  Speaker 1: To be honest with you, I have never heard of
• 3:15
  Speaker 1: the term, but I feel like regardless, girls have might
• 3:20
  Speaker 1: have been subconsciously doing it, whether it wasn't a term,
• 3:25
  Speaker 1: because I don't think I've never heard that term when
• 3:28
  Speaker 1: I was in when I was rushing, but I feel
• 3:30
  Speaker 1: like girls would subconsciously do that if they weren't interested
• 3:33
  Speaker 1: in those houses. They wouldn't put their efforts there because
• 3:37
  Speaker 1: they want to put their efforts into something else. So
• 3:40
  Speaker 1: I feel like, as well, maybe it's not a term
• 3:43
  Speaker 1: that I am aware of or that we are aware of,
• 3:46
  Speaker 1: but I feel like girls, but it'shavior, it's a behavior.
• 3:49
  Speaker 6: Yeah, I think subconsciously is like a good word because
• 3:52
  Speaker 6: I feel like when we went through recruitment, or when
• 3:54
  Speaker 6: I went through like I definitely think there was like
• 3:56
  Speaker 6: some houses where I was like, I don't think we're
• 3:58
  Speaker 6: a match. But I never went in there being like
• 4:01
  Speaker 6: I'm gonna be rude or I'm gonna make them think.
• 4:03
  Speaker 6: I'm like you know what I'm saying, Like I never
• 4:04
  Speaker 6: was always nice. I was always I would never you know,
• 4:07
  Speaker 6: put them in a situation or myself.
• 4:09
  Speaker 1: I think automatically when you kind of go into a
• 4:12
  Speaker 1: house and you start that speed dating process, when you're
• 4:14
  Speaker 1: in that open house round going through all that, you
• 4:17
  Speaker 1: kind of know who you click with and who you
• 4:19
  Speaker 1: don't click with. But the problem is I was still
• 4:23
  Speaker 1: nice to everybody. I was still myself to everybody, And Okay,
• 4:28
  Speaker 1: maybe I didn't connect with those girls, but maybe those
• 4:30
  Speaker 1: girls connected with me.
• 4:32
  Speaker 3: So you still want to make a good impression.
• 4:35
  Speaker 1: And because no matter what everyone's talking during the recruitment process,
• 4:40
  Speaker 1: so you still want to make a good impression and
• 4:42
  Speaker 1: represent yourself how you want your reputation to be. Because
• 4:47
  Speaker 1: if you go into a sorority and you're a.
• 4:50
  Speaker 5: Part for me kind of blowing my mind on it.
• 4:52
  Speaker 5: And again, nobody unless you work for Panelinic, I guess,
• 4:56
  Speaker 5: really knows exactly how this computer system algorithm works. But
• 5:00
  Speaker 5: the way I understand it is And when I went
• 5:03
  Speaker 5: through Rush, it was like, go to these houses, be
• 5:06
  Speaker 5: be yourself, but be polite and nice and chatty and
• 5:10
  Speaker 5: kind like you would at any house. And if you
• 5:13
  Speaker 5: get invited back to every house, then you pick meaning
• 5:18
  Speaker 5: we called them the rushie. So the rushie if they
• 5:21
  Speaker 5: get invited back to every house, really the advantage is
• 5:23
  Speaker 5: to them, they're gonna narrow down and get the houses
• 5:27
  Speaker 5: they want. So the thing that's like very befuddling to me,
• 5:30
  Speaker 5: and I think some of some people will be able
• 5:31
  Speaker 5: to explain it, is how would this possibly work? But
• 5:35
  Speaker 5: I guess in people's minds they're trying to game the system,
• 5:40
  Speaker 5: and I just stand by going gaming the system in
• 5:43
  Speaker 5: Rush really doesn't work. And I thought it was interesting
• 5:46
  Speaker 5: because I had a couple people say to me, oh, yes,
• 5:49
  Speaker 5: so and so did that, but she didn't end up
• 5:50
  Speaker 5: with a house. And it's like exactly, so look for
• 5:55
  Speaker 5: people listening this whole Rush process is so fascinating because
• 6:01
  Speaker 5: it's not just hey, how are you, what's your major,
• 6:05
  Speaker 5: let's be friends. There's all this strategy and coaches and
• 6:08
  Speaker 5: all these things that have changed the game so much
• 6:10
  Speaker 5: so I think I wanted to sort of go, let's
• 6:13
  Speaker 5: throw what we were going to do out and really
• 6:15
  Speaker 5: dig into this as these girls are in rush and
• 6:17
  Speaker 5: I'm sorry, but if you're listening, don't do this.
• 6:19
  Speaker 3: Yeah, do not do this. It's totally bonkers.
• 6:22
  Speaker 1: And like you were saying, if you really do put
• 6:24
  Speaker 1: your efforts in and all the houses want you back,
• 6:26
  Speaker 1: take that as a compliment literally, But I also feel
• 6:30
  Speaker 1: like it's kind of a sense of entitlement. Clearly some
• 6:33
  Speaker 1: of these girls think that they're better, and when you
• 6:36
  Speaker 1: have that attitude, ninety percent of the time it doesn't
• 6:40
  Speaker 1: go your way.
• 6:41
  Speaker 6: I feel like it has changed so much, Like again,
• 6:44
  Speaker 6: the coaches, like, that's crazy.
• 6:47
  Speaker 3: I've never heard of that until this podcast.
• 6:48
  Speaker 6: And I also feel like when you're hiring a coach
• 6:52
  Speaker 6: to get you into this top storty, they're making you.
• 6:54
  Speaker 3: Someone that you're not.
• 6:55
  Speaker 6: Here's that saying, so like you're going to get into
• 6:57
  Speaker 6: a sorty Yeah, you got into the top sorty that's amazing.
• 6:59
  Speaker 6: You feel cool for like five seconds, but then you
• 7:02
  Speaker 6: look at this other stort and you're like, wait, those
• 7:04
  Speaker 6: are my people, Like, those are the people that I
• 7:06
  Speaker 6: would be like best friends for life with. Instead, I'm
• 7:08
  Speaker 6: in the sorority that I have nothing in common with,
• 7:11
  Speaker 6: like I don't agree with or not not agree with
• 7:12
  Speaker 6: their philanthropy, but like, I think I would match better
• 7:15
  Speaker 6: in this one. But it's because you weren't your true
• 7:17
  Speaker 6: ones self and you were doing all these things that
• 7:20
  Speaker 6: is not what the recruitment process should be. Like has
• 7:23
  Speaker 6: changed so much it's crazy.
• 7:24
  Speaker 3: It has. If I hired a rush coach at Rutgers University,
• 7:29
  Speaker 3: oh please, we would be canceled.
• 7:32
  Speaker 5: That's crazy, And I think about okay, So I truly
• 7:36
  Speaker 5: thought this was made up. I literally said to my niece, No,
• 7:41
  Speaker 5: I think that the girl was just having a bad
• 7:43
  Speaker 5: day or she was shy, And my niece was like, no,
• 7:46
  Speaker 5: it's intentional. So my thing is the poor Russier. I
• 7:52
  Speaker 5: don't forget what you guys call it. A potential new
• 7:56
  Speaker 5: member talks to the P and M talks to the
• 8:00
  Speaker 5: so we called him.
• 8:01
  Speaker 3: The Russia or the Rushi.
• 8:02
  Speaker 5: That poor girl who's talking to this girl who's a
• 8:05
  Speaker 5: dead fish must have felt horrible about themselves. And yes
• 8:10
  Speaker 5: they go and make sure that girl gets dropped, so
• 8:13
  Speaker 5: because it would be so awful. So anyway, I hope
• 8:16
  Speaker 5: we have people to really talk about this because this
• 8:19
  Speaker 5: is the kind of thing that does give Russia a
• 8:21
  Speaker 5: bad name. Whereas like, I love sorority life and I
• 8:24
  Speaker 5: love all of it, but this has me sort of horrified.
• 8:29
  Speaker 7: Yeah.
• 8:29
  Speaker 1: Well again it's that sense of like entitlement and thinking
• 8:32
  Speaker 1: who you are, and this is why people have such
• 8:34
  Speaker 1: a negative yeah you on sororities.
• 8:38
  Speaker 6: I also feel like the social media that goes into
• 8:40
  Speaker 6: it now too has a big like I feel like
• 8:43
  Speaker 6: that's a reason on why it's so.
• 8:45
  Speaker 1: Like I mean, you think of a typical stereo type
• 8:49
  Speaker 1: of sorority girl, blonde hair, skinny, like great fashion. I mean,
• 8:56
  Speaker 1: I think BAM has a fun, fun school, but I
• 9:00
  Speaker 1: think about BAMA, I don't.
• 9:02
  Speaker 5: Yeah, I'm hearing, And again this will be interesting conversations
• 9:05
  Speaker 5: for this episode and others that some of those girls
• 9:08
  Speaker 5: doing the ootds and all that is actually hurting their
• 9:11
  Speaker 5: chances now that some schools are frowning upon that and
• 9:15
  Speaker 5: kind of aren't aren't really so into that, so it'll
• 9:18
  Speaker 5: be really interesting. But for me, what's been so shocking
• 9:22
  Speaker 5: is the change now at the core. I think, once
• 9:25
  Speaker 5: you're in the house and we'll we'll delve into this
• 9:27
  Speaker 5: in this series of pledging and initiation and date parties
• 9:32
  Speaker 5: and standards and all the things that go along with
• 9:34
  Speaker 5: rush and sorority life. But the rush process is so
• 9:40
  Speaker 5: different now and the pressure, the pressure on the girls
• 9:44
  Speaker 5: in the house and the pressure on the girls going
• 9:46
  Speaker 5: through it just when they're.
• 9:47
  Speaker 6: So young, Like it's it should be fun, it should
• 9:50
  Speaker 6: be like recruitment. You're excited, you're going to college, You're
• 9:53
  Speaker 6: gonna be your best friends.
• 9:54
  Speaker 3: Like, it should not be this intense and weird.
• 9:58
  Speaker 5: It's getting weird.
• 9:58
  Speaker 3: It's getting getting weird.
• 10:00
  Speaker 1: It's in college you're supposed to find yourself and really
• 10:03
  Speaker 1: find who you are. And I mean, if you're trying
• 10:07
  Speaker 1: to paint this picture that you're not when you're joining
• 10:09
  Speaker 1: a sorority, how is that going to help.
• 10:11
  Speaker 3: You find yourself? If anything, that's going to make you
• 10:13
  Speaker 3: more confused.
• 10:15
  Speaker 5: Yeah, so I think let's let's dig into this and
• 10:17
  Speaker 5: see if this is a real thing, because Yeah, it
• 10:21
  Speaker 5: actually shocked me. I was like, that cannot be real.
• 10:25
  Speaker 1: Yeah, Hey, Katie, so is dead fishing or throwing around?
• 10:42
  Speaker 3: Is this a real thing?
• 10:44
  Speaker 4: So?
• 10:44
  Speaker 1: Yes?
• 10:45
  Speaker 7: At my school particularly, we call it dead fishing. I
• 10:47
  Speaker 7: know it's different everywhere, but I.
• 10:50
  Speaker 3: Just telling me where you go.
• 10:53
  Speaker 7: I'm not going to tell you where I go, but
• 10:55
  Speaker 7: I will tell you sorority names and my experience dead
• 10:58
  Speaker 7: fishing part of the country.
• 11:02
  Speaker 4: No, I'm not in the South.
• 11:05
  Speaker 7: I'm actually in California.
• 11:07
  Speaker 1: Oh okay, yes, And why did I think that rushing
• 11:11
  Speaker 1: wasn't that big in California?
• 11:13
  Speaker 7: I know, I definitely didn't think it would be that
• 11:15
  Speaker 7: big of a deal at my school, and sure enough
• 11:17
  Speaker 7: it was.
• 11:18
  Speaker 3: Wow, Okay, I'm excited to hear about it.
• 11:21
  Speaker 7: Yeah. So, basically, I knew all along that there were
• 11:27
  Speaker 7: two houses that I really liked, and on pref night,
• 11:32
  Speaker 7: I had picked the two houses.
• 11:34
  Speaker 4: I had had those two houses all.
• 11:35
  Speaker 7: Along, and then when I got to opening my bid
• 11:40
  Speaker 7: or the app that we use that tells you which
• 11:43
  Speaker 7: houses you got back, I saw that I only had
• 11:45
  Speaker 7: one of those houses and the other house I had
• 11:48
  Speaker 7: was considered a bottom house, and I immediately freaked out
• 11:52
  Speaker 7: and didn't really know what to do. So I actually
• 11:56
  Speaker 7: had that bottom house as the first party, so I
• 11:59
  Speaker 7: had about ten minutes to get myself together and try
• 12:01
  Speaker 7: to not freak out. And this was when I walked
• 12:06
  Speaker 7: into the house and decided my best alternative was to
• 12:10
  Speaker 7: break the rules and talk about my boyfriend, which, yes,
• 12:16
  Speaker 7: that's one of the main things we're not supposed to do.
• 12:18
  Speaker 1: But okay, we can, I just have you. Can I
• 12:21
  Speaker 1: clarify something quick?
• 12:22
  Speaker 6: Mm hm?
• 12:23
  Speaker 1: So you you're in the final round? You were in
• 12:28
  Speaker 1: rough round Pugh round.
• 12:30
  Speaker 7: Yes.
• 12:30
  Speaker 3: So the day.
• 12:31
  Speaker 1: Houses that you voted for were your top two yes, and.
• 12:37
  Speaker 7: I got dropped from one of them, and then I
• 12:40
  Speaker 7: ended up with another house that I did not want?
• 12:44
  Speaker 3: Got it? And did you what house did you not
• 12:46
  Speaker 3: want tried?
• 12:48
  Speaker 7: Delt was this house which is a not good strority
• 12:52
  Speaker 7: at my school at all?
• 12:53
  Speaker 4: I don't know.
• 12:55
  Speaker 1: I mean, yeah, I guess I feel like Nationally tried
• 12:58
  Speaker 1: a pretty pretty good one, but it was bad at
• 13:00
  Speaker 1: your school.
• 13:02
  Speaker 7: Yeah, and DJ and Kappa were the two houses I
• 13:05
  Speaker 7: had liked all along, and those were the two houses
• 13:09
  Speaker 7: I had picked the night before, but I got dropped
• 13:12
  Speaker 7: from Kappa.
• 13:13
  Speaker 3: Okay, got it?
• 13:15
  Speaker 7: Yeah?
• 13:15
  Speaker 3: So you wint talking?
• 13:17
  Speaker 1: And then wait, I'm blanking because when you do your
• 13:21
  Speaker 1: voting system and you rank your houses. You if you
• 13:26
  Speaker 1: didn't pick tried out, how did that come up on
• 13:28
  Speaker 1: your cards then.
• 13:31
  Speaker 7: Because I don't think it really mattered, Like I didn't
• 13:34
  Speaker 7: necessarily drop them. I just ranked all of the houses
• 13:37
  Speaker 7: in the order of which I wanted them.
• 13:40
  Speaker 1: So your third house was maybe tried out, and then
• 13:43
  Speaker 1: you got dropped from your second, So then they bumped
• 13:46
  Speaker 1: your third house up.
• 13:47
  Speaker 7: To your something along about those lines. But there's no
• 13:50
  Speaker 7: way tried out was even my third choice.
• 13:53
  Speaker 6: Okay, So you were like very much against chidelle, like
• 13:55
  Speaker 6: you were like, I did not want to be a
• 13:57
  Speaker 6: part of that, okay, exactly.
• 13:59
  Speaker 7: And at my they strongly encourage us to not suicide bid. Yeah,
• 14:05
  Speaker 7: and they tell the freshman that if you suicide bid,
• 14:07
  Speaker 7: you will end up on the bottom of the house
• 14:09
  Speaker 7: that you did picks list. So I had talked to
• 14:13
  Speaker 7: my Roquai and she said, you absolutely can't suicide bid,
• 14:17
  Speaker 7: like that would not be a smart decision. So I
• 14:21
  Speaker 7: was like, all right, then I need to figure out
• 14:23
  Speaker 7: a way to not be invited back to this house
• 14:25
  Speaker 7: tomorrow on mid day because at my school, especially this
• 14:29
  Speaker 7: that specific year, if you made it to pref night
• 14:33
  Speaker 7: with two houses, then you were guaranteed a bid from
• 14:35
  Speaker 7: one of them. So basically, in my head, in the
• 14:40
  Speaker 7: ten minutes I had to show up the tri Dee,
• 14:43
  Speaker 7: I thought my best alternative was to make them drop me.
• 14:49
  Speaker 3: So I get paired with this.
• 14:50
  Speaker 7: Girl who was so sweet, and I was crying, and
• 14:54
  Speaker 7: I think she will probably thought I was crying because
• 14:57
  Speaker 7: I had found my home, but no, I was crying
• 14:59
  Speaker 7: because I really did want to be there and it
• 15:03
  Speaker 7: had just been such a long and emotional week and
• 15:06
  Speaker 7: I was like okay, Like she asked me what I
• 15:08
  Speaker 7: did this summer or what I'm looking forward to, something
• 15:10
  Speaker 7: along those lines, and I said, I'm so excited because
• 15:13
  Speaker 7: I'm gonna go visit my boyfriend at the Naple Academy.
• 15:17
  Speaker 7: And I thought this was like a sly way to
• 15:18
  Speaker 7: bring up my boyfriend and it was like relevant to
• 15:20
  Speaker 7: the conversation, but like I still knew I wasn't supposed
• 15:23
  Speaker 7: to be doing that.
• 15:25
  Speaker 1: But then by pref rown though too, because you've already
• 15:28
  Speaker 1: made it so far. Yeah, I feel like the conversations
• 15:32
  Speaker 1: start to get a little more personal. You do break
• 15:35
  Speaker 1: the rules a little bit, and it's kind of okay
• 15:37
  Speaker 1: totally because you're also sitting there having an hour long
• 15:40
  Speaker 1: conversation with this person.
• 15:42
  Speaker 7: Totally yeah, but being on the other end of it,
• 15:49
  Speaker 7: I didn't know that. It was like now, okay, So
• 15:52
  Speaker 7: I'm thinking like, okay, this is great, Like I'm gonna
• 15:54
  Speaker 7: end up getting dropped from this house. And sure enough,
• 15:59
  Speaker 7: right as I mentioned naval academy, this girl who I'm
• 16:01
  Speaker 7: talking to, who's prepping me, immediately freaks out and is like,
• 16:05
  Speaker 7: oh my gosh, I have always wanted to go to
• 16:08
  Speaker 7: the Naval Academy. And then she goes on and on
• 16:11
  Speaker 7: about how she applied there and she didn't get in,
• 16:14
  Speaker 7: but she's going to enlist after college or do ROTC.
• 16:18
  Speaker 7: I immediately start crying more. Yes, I'm so overwhelmed, and wow.
• 16:24
  Speaker 1: We're connecting now this I am getting this house exactly.
• 16:29
  Speaker 7: My plan completely backfired.
• 16:33
  Speaker 3: And she's just like it's.
• 16:34
  Speaker 7: Okay, this will be your home too. Like she's just
• 16:37
  Speaker 7: feeling really bonded to me in this moment, and I
• 16:40
  Speaker 7: am losing it and I don't know what I'm supposed
• 16:45
  Speaker 7: to do from there, but luckily it ended up working
• 16:49
  Speaker 7: out for me. I tried to be dry with the
• 16:53
  Speaker 7: girl for the rest of the night, and be show
• 16:55
  Speaker 7: that I wasn't super interested, but while still being respectful
• 17:00
  Speaker 7: because I don't have it in me to actually be
• 17:03
  Speaker 7: blatantly rude. And I also know now that I could
• 17:05
  Speaker 7: have said I don't see myself here, because being on
• 17:08
  Speaker 7: the other end of it, I know that that's a
• 17:10
  Speaker 7: conversation that girls have while going through the process, and
• 17:13
  Speaker 7: in hindsight, I should have said that instead of being
• 17:16
  Speaker 7: uninterested and breaking the roles.
• 17:21
  Speaker 3: But luckily, what did you do in the end for
• 17:24
  Speaker 3: when you want to go vote?
• 17:27
  Speaker 7: So luckily I had that house is my first party,
• 17:30
  Speaker 7: and then I had a break because there were two
• 17:32
  Speaker 7: parties that I didn't have, And then I had the
• 17:35
  Speaker 7: last party at my current house, which is DG, and
• 17:39
  Speaker 7: I got to DG and I saw the girl I
• 17:43
  Speaker 7: had talked to the day before who I loved and
• 17:45
  Speaker 7: bonded with, and actually we were from the same hometown.
• 17:48
  Speaker 7: I didn't know her super well because she was a
• 17:51
  Speaker 7: senior and I obviously was a freshman. But I saw
• 17:54
  Speaker 7: her and immediately started crying and told her everything, which
• 17:59
  Speaker 7: once again again could have backfired. But thankfully she was
• 18:03
  Speaker 7: a super sweet girl. And my mom was also a
• 18:05
  Speaker 7: DIJI in this house, like at my school. So she
• 18:08
  Speaker 7: had a great letter from my mom that she read me.
• 18:12
  Speaker 3: Well, you and you had legacy at that point.
• 18:15
  Speaker 7: Yes, so it was pretty clear that I was going
• 18:18
  Speaker 7: to be safe. It was just the idea of what
• 18:21
  Speaker 7: if they don't like me and I have to sign
• 18:24
  Speaker 7: this contract at the end of the night, saying that
• 18:28
  Speaker 7: I will stick by either house, because that's how they
• 18:32
  Speaker 7: do it at my school. If you don't suicide bid
• 18:34
  Speaker 7: and then you're not able to be a part of
• 18:36
  Speaker 7: COB or continuous open bidding that year, you have to
• 18:41
  Speaker 7: wait until recruitment the following year. So I was terrified,
• 18:49
  Speaker 7: but thankfully it all ended up working out. I didn't
• 18:52
  Speaker 7: end up suicide bidding, which I think was the smart
• 18:54
  Speaker 7: decision because I totally could have ended up without a house.
• 18:58
  Speaker 7: Who knows, But it ended up working out and I
• 19:04
  Speaker 7: could not be happier. But dead fishing is definitely a thing,
• 19:08
  Speaker 7: and I've definitely experienced it being on the other side,
• 19:11
  Speaker 7: and it's not a good position to be in on
• 19:14
  Speaker 7: either end.
• 19:15
  Speaker 1: Yeah, I mean, thank you for telling us your story,
• 19:19
  Speaker 1: and I'm really happy that you are in DG now
• 19:22
  Speaker 1: and you've found your home. But I mean, you also
• 19:26
  Speaker 1: realize now that maybe you should have just been honest
• 19:29
  Speaker 1: and you should have just told them you didn't see
• 19:31
  Speaker 1: yourself here, and it's great that you have that self
• 19:35
  Speaker 1: reflection to kind of just see that. And I don't
• 19:41
  Speaker 1: think you had the worst story she did. She did
• 19:43
  Speaker 1: end up connecting with you and really loving you. So
• 19:47
  Speaker 1: I mean, I'm happy it all worked out, and you know,
• 19:50
  Speaker 1: sometimes honesty is the best answer.
• 19:54
  Speaker 4: Yeah, thank you so much.
• 19:55
  Speaker 7: I think I definitely learned a lot from that process
• 19:57
  Speaker 7: and definitely learned even more being on the other end
• 19:59
  Speaker 7: of but I'm really happy about the way things turned out.
• 20:03
  Speaker 1: Yeah, no, same, Well, thanks Katie, thanks so much for
• 20:06
  Speaker 1: coming on. Thank you, hey, Jane, and welcome to Dirty Rush.
• 20:12
  Speaker 1: So let's get into it is throwing around real?
• 20:16
  Speaker 4: Yes it is?
• 20:17
  Speaker 3: Okay, Yeah, it's me.
• 20:21
  Speaker 8: Well, when someone throws around, they don't particularly want to
• 20:26
  Speaker 8: return to that chapter, and they purposefully act less interested
• 20:31
  Speaker 8: in the girls they're talking to, and they act being
• 20:34
  Speaker 8: on purpose so the chapter won't ask them back in
• 20:37
  Speaker 8: the next round, and they can have a better chance
• 20:40
  Speaker 8: of getting their preferred chapters back. And at least at
• 20:45
  Speaker 8: the school I go to, we promote values based recruitment,
• 20:48
  Speaker 8: so we want to take girls into our houses based
• 20:52
  Speaker 8: on their personalities, what we like about them, rather than
• 20:56
  Speaker 8: what they look like. So throwing around really hurts this
• 21:00
  Speaker 8: process because we're not getting to.
• 21:02
  Speaker 4: Know the girls because of their personalities.
• 21:04
  Speaker 8: We're getting a super boring version of them who doesn't
• 21:06
  Speaker 8: want to be with us.
• 21:08
  Speaker 3: Valid did you say that they're mean when they do
• 21:11
  Speaker 3: throwing around?
• 21:12
  Speaker 4: Yeah, sometimes girls can be mean.
• 21:14
  Speaker 8: One time I had a girl who was like, can
• 21:19
  Speaker 8: I ask you a super unique and interesting question that
• 21:22
  Speaker 8: no one has ever asked before? And then I was like, oh, yeah, sure.
• 21:26
  Speaker 8: She was like, what's your favorite color? And I was like, oh, like,
• 21:30
  Speaker 8: I love purple.
• 21:32
  Speaker 4: I love purple. That's my favorite color. What's yours?
• 21:33
  Speaker 8: And she was like, I really like beige. Beige is
• 21:35
  Speaker 8: my favorite color.
• 21:37
  Speaker 6: Beige?
• 21:38
  Speaker 4: And I was like, oh, okay, what do you even
• 21:41
  Speaker 4: say to that? Like, and why? How is that a
• 21:43
  Speaker 4: unique question?
• 21:44
  Speaker 8: That's the most basic question that anyone could ever ask.
• 21:47
  Speaker 1: So, oh my gosh, yeah, but honestly, beige.
• 21:51
  Speaker 3: It's like, Okay, you're such a smart ass.
• 21:54
  Speaker 4: Like why is.
• 21:58
  Speaker 5: I have a question for all of you? I heard
• 22:01
  Speaker 5: that you can tell panelinic if you think someone is
• 22:06
  Speaker 5: throwing around is that accurate, because I don't know how
• 22:09
  Speaker 5: you would actually say, oh, they're throwing around when maybe
• 22:12
  Speaker 5: they actually are just a little bit.
• 22:14
  Speaker 3: Yeah, I feel like, how can you accuse someone?
• 22:17
  Speaker 8: You can report someone to Panhell for throwing around, but
• 22:20
  Speaker 8: it is pretty difficult because they have to be breaking
• 22:24
  Speaker 8: the rules somehow. You can't be kicked out of recruitment
• 22:27
  Speaker 8: for being boring, so you have to be actively talking
• 22:31
  Speaker 8: about things you're not supposed to, breaking rules or going
• 22:35
  Speaker 8: against like.
• 22:36
  Speaker 4: What the chapter's values are.
• 22:39
  Speaker 8: So girls are able to get away with throwing rounds
• 22:42
  Speaker 8: pretty easily.
• 22:43
  Speaker 5: I did find this out. Sorry to jump in, but
• 22:46
  Speaker 5: because I thought, well, why not just not go to
• 22:48
  Speaker 5: that party? I guess if you skip a party you
• 22:51
  Speaker 5: can be eliminated from the rush back.
• 22:53
  Speaker 8: Absolutely, you have my school, you have to attend every
• 22:56
  Speaker 8: single round you're invited back to, or you're not allowed
• 22:59
  Speaker 8: to PARTICI eight in primary recruitment.
• 23:01
  Speaker 3: I think that's how my school was too.
• 23:02
  Speaker 7: Same.
• 23:04
  Speaker 3: That's pretty standards, like the respectful thing to do.
• 23:07
  Speaker 1: Yeah, just kind of give again, give everyone a shot
• 23:10
  Speaker 1: because you'll be surprised.
• 23:11
  Speaker 3: Maybe you do like a.
• 23:13
  Speaker 1: Middle to your sorority over a high sorority.
• 23:16
  Speaker 8: Yeah, I would absolutely much rather be in my chapter
• 23:20
  Speaker 8: than quote unquote top sorority at my school because the
• 23:25
  Speaker 8: culture is toxic and I make much better friends here
• 23:28
  Speaker 8: than I ever would anywhere else.
• 23:30
  Speaker 1: So you didn't necessarily participate in the throwing around, but
• 23:34
  Speaker 1: you had you experienced it from other girls. Yes, other
• 23:40
  Speaker 1: p and ms that were coming in.
• 23:42
  Speaker 8: Not incredibly common in my chapter, but it does happen,
• 23:45
  Speaker 8: but a lot of other chapters at my school experienced
• 23:48
  Speaker 8: it a lot. And it really hurts girls. And these
• 23:53
  Speaker 8: girls go through so much work to prepare for primary
• 23:56
  Speaker 8: recruitment and then when they have to meet with every
• 23:59
  Speaker 8: single P and M and it's really awful. It hurts
• 24:03
  Speaker 8: our self confidence and makes them feel bad about the
• 24:06
  Speaker 8: organization that they love so much and work so hard
• 24:08
  Speaker 8: to join. So it really is a bummer.
• 24:11
  Speaker 1: Of course, it's almost like you're you're trying so hard
• 24:15
  Speaker 1: to get to know a person, but you're not even
• 24:17
  Speaker 1: getting to know them for who.
• 24:20
  Speaker 6: They well, especially when you like we know and obviously
• 24:23
  Speaker 6: you know, like going into like doing recruitment the other
• 24:26
  Speaker 6: side of it. You put so much time and effort,
• 24:29
  Speaker 6: so when someone comes in and they are like rude
• 24:33
  Speaker 6: or like trying to talk about things just to get.
• 24:35
  Speaker 3: Out of it, like that's so disheartening.
• 24:38
  Speaker 1: No, yeah, because I mean at the end of the day,
• 24:39
  Speaker 1: it's Yeah, it's disrespectful no matter where, like, no matter
• 24:44
  Speaker 1: where you're ranked. Each sorority puts so much effort into
• 24:49
  Speaker 1: making their rush process perfect and exactly how they want
• 24:53
  Speaker 1: it to be and how they want it to be
• 24:55
  Speaker 1: like represented and presented to the p and ms.
• 24:58
  Speaker 3: So for girls to do that it is.
• 24:59
  Speaker 1: A slow up in the face. They should really give
• 25:01
  Speaker 1: everyone a fair shot.
• 25:03
  Speaker 5: Jane, what were you going to say?
• 25:04
  Speaker 7: Oh?
• 25:05
  Speaker 4: I was just saying. One time.
• 25:07
  Speaker 8: What a friend of mine even had a girl come
• 25:09
  Speaker 8: in and she sat down and the first question she
• 25:13
  Speaker 8: asked was are you Jewish? Yep, because she was wearing
• 25:19
  Speaker 8: a star of David and had a slightly Jewish last name,
• 25:22
  Speaker 8: and they just that was the first question they asked her.
• 25:25
  Speaker 8: And it was simply because they didn't want to be
• 25:28
  Speaker 8: at that house and they wanted to be dropped from
• 25:30
  Speaker 8: that chapter.
• 25:32
  Speaker 3: They should have been dropped from recruitment.
• 25:33
  Speaker 8: I think they ended up being dropped from recruitment because
• 25:38
  Speaker 8: it was crazy. Yeah, that's insane, And at least at
• 25:42
  Speaker 8: my school, the chapters do work really hard to eliminate
• 25:48
  Speaker 8: p and ms like that. Uh, so you can get
• 25:54
  Speaker 8: I guess blacklisted from a lot of chapters for displaying
• 25:58
  Speaker 8: that kind of behavior negative comments towards other chapters. It
• 26:04
  Speaker 8: can affect you in the recruitment process for sure, So
• 26:07
  Speaker 8: you do have to be careful obviously, but it is
• 26:09
  Speaker 8: really hard to get caught for throwing rounds.
• 26:12
  Speaker 7: Ye.
• 26:12
  Speaker 3: Well, Jane, thank you so much.
• 26:14
  Speaker 1: Thanks for telling us your story, and I hope that
• 26:19
  Speaker 1: you kind of shed light on this so future p
• 26:23
  Speaker 1: and ms know to go into recruitment with an open
• 26:27
  Speaker 1: mind and really give everyone.
• 26:29
  Speaker 3: Their best efforts.
• 26:31
  Speaker 2: Thank you guys, Thank you, Hey Leslie, and welcome to
• 26:49
  Speaker 2: Dirty Rush.
• 26:50
  Speaker 3: So was it dead fishing.
• 26:52
  Speaker 1: Or throwing around a thing at your university?
• 26:57
  Speaker 3: Do you know what I'm talking?
• 27:00
  Speaker 9: I don't think we called it dead fishing, but they're
• 27:05
  Speaker 9: definitely like, I know what throwing around is, and that
• 27:10
  Speaker 9: was definitely like talked about, but it was never called
• 27:12
  Speaker 9: dead fishing, so.
• 27:14
  Speaker 3: You get the concept, yeah, of what it is.
• 27:17
  Speaker 1: Okay, So what was your experience?
• 27:20
  Speaker 9: So I would say I didn't intentionally throw around like
• 27:26
  Speaker 9: that wasn't.
• 27:26
  Speaker 3: My goal, but I was so.
• 27:30
  Speaker 9: My freshman year, I was on the dance team at
• 27:33
  Speaker 9: my school. So I was already stressed because I knew
• 27:37
  Speaker 9: my teammates were going to be like on the other
• 27:39
  Speaker 9: side of things, and even though they're I was supposed
• 27:41
  Speaker 9: to talk to you, they were like always in my ear,
• 27:43
  Speaker 9: like what we think of this?
• 27:44
  Speaker 8: We think of that.
• 27:45
  Speaker 9: So I was already stressed out. And then I'd given
• 27:47
  Speaker 9: my ro gamma whatever it's called, all of the dates
• 27:52
  Speaker 9: or like the times I couldn't do. So I told
• 27:54
  Speaker 9: them like during round two, I have a performance, like
• 27:57
  Speaker 9: I can't make this time. And it was on Zoom
• 27:58
  Speaker 9: because it was during twenty twenty one one. So I
• 28:02
  Speaker 9: had told them like, I can't do this time. I
• 28:03
  Speaker 9: get my schedule back that morning and in the middle
• 28:06
  Speaker 9: of the performance is my round scheduled? And I was like, okay,
• 28:10
  Speaker 9: well there's I was too scared to go to Panalytic
• 28:13
  Speaker 9: and be like, okay, well I can't make this work.
• 28:15
  Speaker 9: I knew if I missed it that I was going
• 28:17
  Speaker 9: to hold like I'd heard rumors like oh you could
• 28:21
  Speaker 9: get dropped like whatever. So it's like what can I do?
• 28:25
  Speaker 9: So I go out for the performance and it was
• 28:27
  Speaker 9: like this like neat, like introducing the athletes to the
• 28:31
  Speaker 9: student body something like really random, and I'm like, thinking
• 28:35
  Speaker 9: my brain. I can like here the chancewers are giving
• 28:37
  Speaker 9: a speech, and I'm like thinking my brain. I'm like,
• 28:39
  Speaker 9: I'm supposed to be online in one minute. Im supost
• 28:41
  Speaker 9: bee on line in one minute. So as soon as
• 28:43
  Speaker 9: the chancer's like, okay, we're going to introduce like another
• 28:46
  Speaker 9: student group, I run off the court and I immediately
• 28:50
  Speaker 9: go and I grab my laptop. I'm still in my uniform.
• 28:54
  Speaker 9: I'm sweating, and I run into the bathroom that we
• 28:57
  Speaker 9: had like in the area. I have my ear pods
• 28:59
  Speaker 9: in and I'm like, hello, I can't you hear me?
• 29:01
  Speaker 9: Because I didn't. I knew I was zosy on zoom anyways,
• 29:04
  Speaker 9: like we were gonna go back out at some point,
• 29:06
  Speaker 9: and I knew I had, like I don't know, maybe
• 29:09
  Speaker 9: two minutes before I would have to be back out,
• 29:12
  Speaker 9: and so I started talking to this girl and then
• 29:16
  Speaker 9: at some point I just cut it off and I
• 29:19
  Speaker 9: was like just gonna like because there was nothing else
• 29:21
  Speaker 9: I could do. I could hear my director being like
• 29:23
  Speaker 9: everybody needs to come back out. Everybody needs to come
• 29:25
  Speaker 9: back out. So I was just like and I could
• 29:27
  Speaker 9: barely hear. Anyways, I'm whispering. She's like, so, what's your major?
• 29:30
  Speaker 9: And she was very quiet too. Also, it wasn't a
• 29:33
  Speaker 9: house that I was super excited about the first day too.
• 29:36
  Speaker 3: Yeah, that's what I was gonna ask if it was
• 29:38
  Speaker 3: a house that you wanted.
• 29:39
  Speaker 1: I mean, you were also a part of the dance team.
• 29:41
  Speaker 1: You had a very big commitment. If you miss the dance,
• 29:45
  Speaker 1: you would have probably gotten penalized or kicked off the team.
• 29:47
  Speaker 1: You were a freshman, like you were also in a
• 29:51
  Speaker 1: very interesting situation. You did show the effort to getting
• 29:55
  Speaker 1: on the Zoom poll.
• 29:56
  Speaker 3: It wasn't like you were I feel like, if anything,
• 29:58
  Speaker 3: they'd be like, oh my gosh, like.
• 30:00
  Speaker 1: Yeah, Like, it's not like you were being completely selfish
• 30:03
  Speaker 1: and you know, disregarded the entire rush process. You did
• 30:07
  Speaker 1: make the effort to go on the Zoom, which I
• 30:10
  Speaker 1: would have been stressed to even do that.
• 30:13
  Speaker 3: I don't even know how you did that.
• 30:15
  Speaker 9: But I know, but I was hoping at least since
• 30:18
  Speaker 9: I did, like I technically didn't miss around, I was like,
• 30:22
  Speaker 9: maybe you would be okay, Yeah they did still log on,
• 30:26
  Speaker 9: but so that was I guess me texted, did she.
• 30:29
  Speaker 1: Know that like things got messed up with your schedule,
• 30:32
  Speaker 1: Like did you at least explain that part?
• 30:34
  Speaker 9: So this signal was so bad. I like don't even
• 30:36
  Speaker 9: think she could understand what I was saying. She did,
• 30:39
  Speaker 9: I like think that she realized I was in a stall.
• 30:41
  Speaker 9: I think she realized that I was legitimately like in
• 30:43
  Speaker 9: a bathroom stall before. And I was like, yeah, like
• 30:47
  Speaker 9: I'm sorry, like I'm kind of in the middle of things,
• 30:49
  Speaker 9: and she.
• 30:50
  Speaker 4: Was like what, like I couldn't even like son.
• 30:55
  Speaker 8: And like this.
• 30:55
  Speaker 9: Also wasn't a chapter that like a lot of chapters
• 30:58
  Speaker 9: have girls and dance team, this was not. Once she
• 31:01
  Speaker 9: was definitely like, who is this like cheerleader girl like
• 31:06
  Speaker 9: talking to me on zoom in her uniform too. She
• 31:08
  Speaker 9: probably thought it was like just pulling up in my
• 31:10
  Speaker 9: uniform and pull up my uniform. But so he didn't
• 31:12
  Speaker 9: intentionally throw around technically, but I did, I guess technically
• 31:17
  Speaker 9: misrun and I'm not I didn't end up in that chapter,
• 31:20
  Speaker 9: but that was my.
• 31:22
  Speaker 3: Soy they dropped you after that, they did?
• 31:26
  Speaker 9: They dropped.
• 31:30
  Speaker 3: I mean, honestly, I'm not mad at this. I'm really not.
• 31:33
  Speaker 3: I feel like you tried your bed and this is a.
• 31:37
  Speaker 1: Very unique situation that like doesn't happen every day.
• 31:41
  Speaker 9: But I definitely did feel bad because I didn't even
• 31:43
  Speaker 9: like remember her name or I was like, should I
• 31:46
  Speaker 9: have reached out her? But I was like, it's probably fine.
• 31:51
  Speaker 3: Things have happened. Things were you know, chaotic. Yeah, you
• 31:55
  Speaker 3: were you know, going on you you were dancing at
• 31:57
  Speaker 3: a welling. Yeah, well.
• 32:03
  Speaker 9: Yeah, so I like I knew which houses obviously I
• 32:06
  Speaker 9: was more excited about. And I think there is definitely
• 32:08
  Speaker 9: the vibe at school was like, okay, well, if you're
• 32:11
  Speaker 9: seeing ten houses in a day and like your social
• 32:14
  Speaker 9: battery only has you know so much. I think there's
• 32:16
  Speaker 9: definitely houses that, especially as the rounds got later, you
• 32:20
  Speaker 9: kind of knew. But I would say that was the
• 32:22
  Speaker 9: only time it was like for me personally, but I did.
• 32:25
  Speaker 9: I do definitely know people that were like, well, I'm
• 32:28
  Speaker 9: going into X, Y and Z, like so at least
• 32:30
  Speaker 9: I don't have to be super on or you know.
• 32:32
  Speaker 1: Thinking yeah, yeah, I mean you seem like a very
• 32:36
  Speaker 1: sweet girl, so I you know, I think the efforts
• 32:38
  Speaker 1: were there, and again, very unique situation, very unique scenario.
• 32:45
  Speaker 1: So honestly, everything happens for a reason. You got booked
• 32:49
  Speaker 1: during that time when you were supposed to be dancing,
• 32:51
  Speaker 1: so maybe that serati you know, wasn't supposed to be
• 32:55
  Speaker 1: for you. So well, you know, I don't think you
• 32:59
  Speaker 1: were intentionally trying to be rude, So I know, obviously
• 33:04
  Speaker 1: some people can have that attitude and think that they're
• 33:06
  Speaker 1: better than certain sororities, but you know, I think it's
• 33:09
  Speaker 1: good to go into every round really just showing your
• 33:13
  Speaker 1: best efforts because you are, at the end of the day,
• 33:16
  Speaker 1: representing yourself, so you want people to you know, have
• 33:19
  Speaker 1: a good image and view on you and just think,
• 33:24
  Speaker 1: you know, show your best self. And at the end
• 33:26
  Speaker 1: of the day, if you got all the houses back
• 33:29
  Speaker 1: and you were the one eliminating them, allie take it
• 33:32
  Speaker 1: as a compliment at the end of the day, you.
• 33:34
  Speaker 3: Know, totally.
• 33:35
  Speaker 9: Yeah, No, I definitely agree. And also especially I don't
• 33:38
  Speaker 9: know if this keys at other schools, but at UCLA
• 33:40
  Speaker 9: for sure, everyone's friends with everyone, Like my roommates weren't
• 33:44
  Speaker 9: different supporties than me, Like you know, it wasn't like
• 33:48
  Speaker 9: so we could have easily gotten back to them like
• 33:50
  Speaker 9: other people like oh so and so like was very
• 33:53
  Speaker 9: clear like didn't want to be there, like you know whatever.
• 33:56
  Speaker 9: So that's was something I think people need to know
• 33:58
  Speaker 9: before they like enter Rush, Like if you think you're
• 34:01
  Speaker 9: throwing one house, like you could be throwing five houses.
• 34:04
  Speaker 9: Like they could go home and be like tell their roommates.
• 34:07
  Speaker 9: This girl was so rude, like, oh.
• 34:08
  Speaker 3: Yeah, well, even think about your pie caps.
• 34:12
  Speaker 1: I don't know if you called them roueow. I called
• 34:16
  Speaker 1: them pie caps. But they all, you know, as they're
• 34:21
  Speaker 1: all guiding you guys, bringing you to open houses, bringing
• 34:25
  Speaker 1: you to every rounds. But then they're all coming together
• 34:28
  Speaker 1: at the end, and each one of them are from
• 34:30
  Speaker 1: different sororities so they.
• 34:31
  Speaker 3: Could all talk too.
• 34:33
  Speaker 1: So totally, but Leslie, thank you so much for coming
• 34:37
  Speaker 1: on Dirty Rush, and I am happy you ended up
• 34:39
  Speaker 1: where you belonged.
• 34:41
  Speaker 3: Good hustle. I saw the hustle.