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Parasite - Sir Arthur Conan Doyle · The Memoirs of Sherlock Holmes

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  Speaker 1: This is a LibriVox recording. All LibriVox recordings are in
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  Speaker 1: the public domain. For more information or to volunteer, please
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  Speaker 1: visit LibriVox dot org. The Parasite a story by Sir
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  Speaker 1: Arthur Conan Doyle, Chapter one, March twenty four. The spring
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  Speaker 1: is fairly with us now. Outside my laboratory window, the
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  Speaker 1: great chestnut tree is all covered with the big, glutinous
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  Speaker 1: gummy buds, some of which have already begun to break
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  Speaker 1: into little green shuttlecocks. As you walk down the lanes,
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  Speaker 1: you are conscious of the rich, silent forces of nature
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  Speaker 1: working all around you. The wet earth smells fruitful and luscious.
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  Speaker 1: Green shoots are peeping out everywhere. The twigs are stiff
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  Speaker 1: with their sap, and the moist, heavy English air is
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  Speaker 1: laden with a faintly resinous perfume. Buds in the hedges,
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  Speaker 1: lambs beneath them. Everywhere the work of reproduction going forward.
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  Speaker 1: I can see it without, and I can feel it within.
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  Speaker 1: We also have our spring. When the little arterioles dilate,
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  Speaker 1: the limp flows in a brisker stream. The glands work harder,
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  Speaker 1: winnowing and straining. Every year, nature readjusts the whole machine.
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  Speaker 1: I can feel the ferment in my blood at this
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  Speaker 1: very moment, and as the cool sunshine pours through my window,
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  Speaker 1: I could dance about in it like a gnat. So
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  Speaker 1: I should only that Charles Sadler would rush upstairs to
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  Speaker 1: know what was the matter. Besides, I must remember that
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  Speaker 1: I am Professor Gilroy. An old professor may afford to
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  Speaker 1: be natural, But when fortune has given one of the
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  Speaker 1: first chairs in the university to a man of four
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  Speaker 1: and thirty, he must try and act the part consistently.
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  Speaker 1: What a fellow Wilson is. If I could only throw
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  Speaker 1: the same enthusiasm into physiology that he does into psychology,
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  Speaker 1: I should become a Claude Bernard. At the least. His
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  Speaker 1: whole life and soul and energy work to one end.
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  Speaker 1: He drops to sleep collating his results of the past day,
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  Speaker 1: and he wakes to plan his researches for the coming one.
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  Speaker 1: And yet outside the narrow circle who follow his proceedings,
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  Speaker 1: he gets so little credit for it. Physiology is a
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  Speaker 1: recognized science. If I even add a brick to the edifice,
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  Speaker 1: everyone sees and applauds it. But Wilson is trying to
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  Speaker 1: dig the foundations for a science of the future. His
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  Speaker 1: work is underground and does not show. Yet he goes on, uncomplainingly,
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  Speaker 1: corresponding with a hundred semi maniacs, in the hope of
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  Speaker 1: finding one reliable witness, Sifting a hundred lies on the
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  Speaker 1: chance of gaining one little speck of truth, collating old books,
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  Speaker 1: devouring new ones, experimenting, lecturing, trying to light up in
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  Speaker 1: others the fiery interest which is consuming him. I am
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  Speaker 1: filled with wonder and admiration when I think of him,
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  Speaker 1: And yet when he asks me to associate myself with
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  Speaker 1: his researches, I am compelled to tell him that, in
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  Speaker 1: their present state, they offer little attraction to a man
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  Speaker 1: who is devoted to exact science. If he could show
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  Speaker 1: me something positive and objective, I might then be tempted
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  Speaker 1: to approach the question from its physiological side. So long
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  Speaker 1: as half his subjects are tainted with charlatanry and the
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  Speaker 1: other half with hysteria, we physiologists must content ourselves with
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  Speaker 1: the body and leave the mind to our descendants. No doubt,
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  Speaker 1: I am a materialist. Agatha says that I am a
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  Speaker 1: rank one. I tell her that is an excellent reason
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  Speaker 1: for shortening our engagement, since I am in such urgent
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  Speaker 1: need of her spirituality, and yet I may claim to
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  Speaker 1: be a curious example of the effect of education upon temperament.
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  Speaker 1: For by nature I am, unless I deceive myself a
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  Speaker 1: highly psychic man. I was a nervous, sensitive boy, a dreamer,
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  Speaker 1: a somnambulist, full of impressions and intuitions. My black hair,
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  Speaker 1: my dark eyes, my thin, olive face, my tapering fingers
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  Speaker 1: are all characteristic of my real temperament and cause experts
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  Speaker 1: like Wilson to claim me as their own. But my
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  Speaker 1: brain is soaked with exact knowledge. I have trained myself
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  Speaker 1: to deal only with fact and with proof. Yourrise and
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  Speaker 1: fancy have no place in my scheme of thought. Show
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  Speaker 1: me what I can see with my microscope, cut with
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  Speaker 1: my scalpel, weigh in my balance, and I will devote
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  Speaker 1: a lifetime to its investigation. But when you ask me
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  Speaker 1: to study feelings, impressions, suggestions, you ask me to do
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  Speaker 1: what is distasteful and even demoralizing. A departure from pure
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  Speaker 1: reason affects me like an evil smell or a musical discord,
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  Speaker 1: which is very sufficient reason why I am a little
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  Speaker 1: loath to go to Professor Wilson's tonight. Still I feel
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  Speaker 1: that I could hardly get out of the invitation without
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  Speaker 1: positive rudeness. And now that Miss Marden and Agatha are going,
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  Speaker 1: of course I would not do it if I could,
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  Speaker 1: but I had rather meet them anywhere else. I know
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  Speaker 1: that Wilson would draw me into this nebulous semi science
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  Speaker 1: of his if he could. In his enthusiasm. He is
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  Speaker 1: perfectly impervious to hints or remonstrances. Nothing short of a
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  Speaker 1: positive quarrel will make him realize my aversion to the
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  Speaker 1: whole business. I have no doubt that he has some
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  Speaker 1: new mesmerist or clairvoyant, or medium or trickster of some sort,
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  Speaker 1: whom he is going to exhibit to us. For even
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  Speaker 1: his entertainments bear upon his hobby, well, it will be
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  Speaker 1: a treat for Agatha at any rate. She is interested
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  Speaker 1: in it as woman usually is. And whatever is vague
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  Speaker 1: and mystical and indefinite. Ten fifty pm. This diary keeping
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  Speaker 1: of mine is I fancy the outcome of that scientific
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  Speaker 1: habit of mind about which I wrote this morning. I
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  Speaker 1: like to register impressions while they are fresh. Once a
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  Speaker 1: day at least, I endeavor to define my own mental position.
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  Speaker 1: It is a useful piece of self analysis, and has
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  Speaker 1: I fancy a steadying effect upon the character. Frankly, I
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  Speaker 1: must confess that my own needs what stiffening I can
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  Speaker 1: give it. I fear that, after all, much of my
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  Speaker 1: neurotic temperament survives, and that I am far from that cool,
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  Speaker 1: calm precision which characterizes Murdoch or Pratt Haldane. Otherwise, why
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  Speaker 1: should the tomfoolery which I have witnessed this evening have
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  Speaker 1: set my nerves thrilling, so that even now I am
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  Speaker 1: all unstrung. My only comfort is that neither Wilson, nor
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  Speaker 1: Miss Pinclosa, nor even Agatha could have possibly known my weakness.
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  Speaker 1: And what in the world was there to excite me? Nothing,
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  Speaker 1: or so little that it will seem ludicrous when I
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  Speaker 1: set it down. The Martins got to Wilson's before me.
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  Speaker 1: In fact, I was one of the last to arrive,
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  Speaker 1: and found the room crowded. I had hardly time to
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  Speaker 1: say a word to Miss Martin and to Agatha, who
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  Speaker 1: was looking charming in white and pink, with glittering wheat
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  Speaker 1: ears in her hair, when Wilson came twitching at my sleeve.
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  Speaker 1: You want something positive Gilroy, said he drawing me apart
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  Speaker 1: into a corner. My dear fellow, I have a phenomenon,
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  Speaker 1: a phenomenon I should have been more impressed had I
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  Speaker 1: not heard the same before. His sanguine spirit turns every
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  Speaker 1: firefly into a star. No possible question about the bona
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  Speaker 1: fides this time, said he, in answer perhaps to some
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  Speaker 1: little gleam of amusement in my eyes. My wife has
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  Speaker 1: known her for many years. They both come from Trinidad.
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  Speaker 1: You know, Miss Pinclosa has been in England only a
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  Speaker 1: month or two and knows no one outside the university circle.
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  Speaker 1: But I assure you that the things she has told
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  Speaker 1: us suffice in themselves to establish clairvoyance upon an absolutely
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  Speaker 1: scientific basis. There is nothing like her. Amateur or professional.
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  Speaker 1: Come and be introduced. I like none of these mystery mongers,
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  Speaker 1: but the amateur, least of all with the paid performer.
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  Speaker 1: You may pounce upon him and expose him the instant
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  Speaker 1: that you have seen through his trick. He is there
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  Speaker 1: to deceive you, and you are there to find him out.
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  Speaker 1: But what are you to do with the friend of
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  Speaker 1: your host wife. Are you to turn on a light
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  Speaker 1: suddenly and expose her slapping a surreptitious banjo, or are
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  Speaker 1: you to hurl cochineal over her evening frock when she
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  Speaker 1: steals round with her phosphorus bottle and her supernatural platitude.
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  Speaker 1: There would be a scene and you would be looked
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  Speaker 1: upon as a brute. So you have your choice of
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  Speaker 1: being that or a dupe. I was in no very
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  Speaker 1: good humor as I followed Wilson to the lady. Anyone
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  Speaker 1: less like my idea of a West Indian could not
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  Speaker 1: be imagined. She was a small, frail creature, well over forty,
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  Speaker 1: I should say, with a pale, peaky face and hair
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  Speaker 1: of a very light shade of chestnut. Her presence was
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  Speaker 1: insignificant in her manner retiring in any group of ten women,
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  Speaker 1: she would have been the last one whom one would
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  Speaker 1: have picked out. Her eyes were perhaps her most remarkable,
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  Speaker 1: and also, I am compelled to say, her least pleasant feature.
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  Speaker 1: They were gray in color, gray with a shade of green,
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  Speaker 1: and their expression struck me as being decidedly furtive. I
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  Speaker 1: wonder if furtive is the word, or should I have
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  Speaker 1: said fierce? On second thoughts, feline would have expressed it better.
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  Speaker 1: A crutch leaning against the wall told me what was
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  Speaker 1: painfully evident when she rose that one of her legs
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  Speaker 1: was crippled. So I was introduced to Miss Pinclosa, and
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  Speaker 1: it did not escape me that as my name was mentioned.
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  Speaker 1: She Grant glanced across at Agatha. Wilson had evidently been talking,
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  Speaker 1: and presently no doubt, thought I, she will inform me
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  Speaker 1: by occult means that I am engaged to a young
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  Speaker 1: lady with wheat ears in her hair. I wonder how
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  Speaker 1: much more Wilson had been telling her about me. Professor
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  Speaker 1: Gilroy is a terrible skeptic, said he. I hope miss Pinclosa,
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  Speaker 1: that you will be able to convert him. She looked
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  Speaker 1: keenly up at me. Professor Gilroy is quite right to
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  Speaker 1: be skeptical if he has not seen anything convincing, said she.
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  Speaker 1: I should have thought, She added, that you would yourself
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  Speaker 1: have been an excellent subject. For what may I ask?
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  Speaker 1: Said I, Well, for mesmer for example, My experience has
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  Speaker 1: been that mesmerists go for their subjects to those who
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  Speaker 1: are mentally unsound. All their results are vitiated, as it
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  Speaker 1: seems to me, by the fact that they are dwelling
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  Speaker 1: dealing with abnormal organisms. Which of these ladies, would you
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  Speaker 1: say possessed a normal organism? She asked, I should like
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  Speaker 1: you to select the one who seems to you to
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  Speaker 1: have the best balanced mind? Should we say the girl
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  Speaker 1: in the pink and white Miss Agatha Marden. I think
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  Speaker 1: the name is yes. I should attach a weight to
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  Speaker 1: any results from her. I have never tried how far
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  Speaker 1: she is impressionable. Of course, some people respond much more
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  Speaker 1: rapidly than others. May I ask how far your skepticism extends?
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  Speaker 1: I suppose that you admit the mesmeric sleep and the
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  Speaker 1: hour of suggestion. I admit nothing, Miss Penclosa, Dear me,
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  Speaker 1: I thought science had got further than that. Of course,
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  Speaker 1: I know nothing about the scientific side of it. I
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  Speaker 1: only know what I can do. You see the girl
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  Speaker 1: in red, for example, over near the Japanese jar, I
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  Speaker 1: shall will that she'd come across to us. She bent
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  Speaker 1: forward as she spoke, and dropped her fan upon the floor.
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  Speaker 1: The girl whisked round and came straight toward us, with
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  Speaker 1: an inquiring look upon her face, as if someone had
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  Speaker 1: called her, what do you think of that? Gilroy, cried Wilson,
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  Speaker 1: in a kind of ecstasy. I did not dare to
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  Speaker 1: tell him what I thought of it. To me, it
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  Speaker 1: was the most bare faced, shameless piece of imposture that
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  Speaker 1: I had ever witnessed. The collusion and the signal had
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  Speaker 1: really been too obvious. Professor Gilroy is not satisfied, said she,
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  Speaker 1: glancing up at me with her strange little eyes. My
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  Speaker 1: poor fan is to get the credit of that experiment. Well,
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  Speaker 1: we must try something else, Miss Martin, would you have
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  Speaker 1: any objection to my putting you off? Oh? I should
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  Speaker 1: love it, cried Agatha. By this time all the company
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  Speaker 1: had gathered round us in a circle, the shirt fronted
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  Speaker 1: men and the white throated woman. Some awed, some critical,
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  Speaker 1: as though it were something between a religious ceremony and
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  Speaker 1: a conjuror's entertainment. A red velvet arm chair had been
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  Speaker 1: pushed into the center, and Agatha lay back in it,
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  Speaker 1: a little flushed and trembling slightly from the excitement. I
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  Speaker 1: could see it from the vibration of the wheat ears.
• 14:50
  Speaker 1: Miss Pinclosa rose from her seat and stood over her,
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  Speaker 1: leaning upon her crutch. And there was a change in
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  Speaker 1: the woman. She no longer said seemed small or insignificant.
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  Speaker 1: Twenty years were gone from her age. Her eyes were
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  Speaker 1: shining a tinge of color had come into her sallow cheeks.
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  Speaker 1: Her whole figure had expanded. So I have seen a
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  Speaker 1: dull eyed, listless lad change in an instant into briskness
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  Speaker 1: in life, when given a task of which he felt
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  Speaker 1: himself master. She looked down at Agatha with an expression
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  Speaker 1: which I resented from the bottom of my soul, the
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  Speaker 1: expression which a Roman empress might have looked at her
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  Speaker 1: kneeling slave. Then, with a quick, commanding gesture, she tossed
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  Speaker 1: up her arms and swept them slowly down in front
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  Speaker 1: of her. I was watching Agatha narrowly during three passes.
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  Speaker 1: She seemed to be simply amused. At the fourth I
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  Speaker 1: observed a slight glazing of her eyes, a company by
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  Speaker 1: some dilation of her pupils. At the sixth, there was
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  Speaker 1: a momentary rigor. At the seventh, her lids began to droop.
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  Speaker 1: At the tenth, her eyes were closed, and her breathing
• 16:13
  Speaker 1: was slower and fuller than usual. I tried as I
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  Speaker 1: watched to preserve my scientific calm, but a foolish causeless
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  Speaker 1: agitation convulsed me. I trust that I hid it, but
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  Speaker 1: I felt as a child feels in the dark. I
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  Speaker 1: could not have believed that I was still open to
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  Speaker 1: such weakness. She is in the trance, said Miss Penclosa.
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  Speaker 1: She is sleeping, I cried, wake her. Then I pulled
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  Speaker 1: her by the arm and shouted in her ear. She
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  Speaker 1: might have been dead, for all the impression that I
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  Speaker 1: could make. Her body was there on the velvet chair.
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  Speaker 1: Her organs were acting, her heart, her lungs, but her
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  Speaker 1: soul it had slipped from beyond our kin. Whither had gone?
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  Speaker 1: What power had dispossessed it? I was puzzled and disconcerted.
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  Speaker 1: So much for the mesmeric sleep, said Miss Pinclosa. As
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  Speaker 1: regards suggestion, whatever I may suggest, miss Martin will infallibly do,
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  Speaker 1: whether it be now or after she has awakened from
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  Speaker 1: her trance. Do you demand proof of it? Certainly, said I,
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  Speaker 1: you shall have it. I saw a smile pass over
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  Speaker 1: her face, as though an amusing thought had struck her.
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  Speaker 1: She stooped and whispered earnestly into her subject's ear. Agatha,
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  Speaker 1: who had been so deaf to me, nodded her head
• 17:43
  Speaker 1: as she listened. Awake, cried Miss Pinclosa. With a sharp
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  Speaker 1: tap of her crutch upon the floor, The eyes opened,
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  Speaker 1: the glazing cleared slowly away, and the soul looked out
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  Speaker 1: once more after its strange eclipse. We went away early.
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  Speaker 1: Agatha was none the worse for her strange excursion, but
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  Speaker 1: I was nervous and unstrung, unable to listen to or
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  Speaker 1: answer the stream of comments which Wilson was pouring out
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  Speaker 1: for my benefit. As I bade her good night, Miss
• 18:16
  Speaker 1: Pinclosa slipped a piece of paper into my hand. Pray
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  Speaker 1: forgive me, said she. If I take means to overcome
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  Speaker 1: your skepticism, open this note at ten o'clock tomorrow morning.
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  Speaker 1: It is a little private test. I can't imagine what
• 18:33
  Speaker 1: she means, but there is the note, and it shall
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  Speaker 1: be opened as she directs. My head is aching, and
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  Speaker 1: I have written enough for tonight Tomorrow. I dare say
• 18:45
  Speaker 1: that what seems so inexplicable will take quite another complexion.
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  Speaker 1: I shall not surrender my convictions without a struggle. March
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  Speaker 1: twenty five. I am amazed, confounded. It is clear that
• 19:06
  Speaker 1: I must reconsider my opinion upon this matter. But first
• 19:10
  Speaker 1: let me place on record what has occurred. I had
• 19:14
  Speaker 1: finished my breakfast and was looking over some diagrams with
• 19:17
  Speaker 1: which my lecture is to be illustrated, when my housekeeper
• 19:21
  Speaker 1: entered to tell me that Agatha was in my study
• 19:23
  Speaker 1: and wished to see me immediately. I glanced at the
• 19:27
  Speaker 1: clock and saw with sunrise that it was only half
• 19:31
  Speaker 1: past nine. When I entered the room, she was standing
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  Speaker 1: on the hearth rug facing me. Something in her pose
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  Speaker 1: chilled me, and checked the words which were rising to
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  Speaker 1: my lips. Her veil was half down, but I could
• 19:46
  Speaker 1: see that she was pale and that her expression was constrained. Austin,
• 19:52
  Speaker 1: she said, I have come to tell you that our
• 19:54
  Speaker 1: engagement is at an end. I staggered. I believe that
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  Speaker 1: I literally did stagger. I know that I found myself
• 20:04
  Speaker 1: leaning against the bookcase for support. But but I stammered,
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  Speaker 1: this is very sudden, Agatha. Yes, Austin, I have come
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  Speaker 1: here to tell you that our engagement is at an end.
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  Speaker 1: But surely, I cried. You will give me some reason.
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  Speaker 1: This is unlike you, Agatha. Tell me how I have
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  Speaker 1: been unfortunate enough to offend you. It is all over, Austin.
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  Speaker 1: But why you must be under some delusion, Agatha. Perhaps
• 20:36
  Speaker 1: you have been told some falsehood about me, or you
• 20:40
  Speaker 1: may have misunderstood something that I have said to you.
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  Speaker 1: Only let me know what it is, and a word
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  Speaker 1: may set it all right. We must consider it all
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  Speaker 1: at an end. But you left me last night without
• 20:54
  Speaker 1: a hint of any disagreement. What could have occurred in
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  Speaker 1: the interval to change you? So it must have been
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  Speaker 1: something that happened last night. You have been thinking it over,
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  Speaker 1: and you have disapproved of my conduct? Was it the mesmerism?
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  Speaker 1: Did you blame me for letting that woman exercise her
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  Speaker 1: power over you? You know that at the least sign
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  Speaker 1: I should have interfered. It is useless, Austin, All is over.
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  Speaker 1: Her voice was cold and measured, her manner strangely formal
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  Speaker 1: and hard. It seemed to me that she was absolutely
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  Speaker 1: resolved not to be drawn into any argument or explanation.
• 21:37
  Speaker 1: As for me, I was shaking with agitation, and I
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  Speaker 1: turned my face aside. So ashamed was I that she
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  Speaker 1: should see my want of control. You must know what
• 21:48
  Speaker 1: this means to me, I cried. It is the blasting
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  Speaker 1: of all my hopes and the ruin of my life.
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  Speaker 1: You surely will not inflict such a punishment upon me. Unheard,
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  Speaker 1: you will let me know what is the matter. Consider
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  Speaker 1: how impossible it would be for me, under any circumstances
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  Speaker 1: to treat you so. For God's sake, Agatha, let me
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  Speaker 1: know what I have done. She walked past me without
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  Speaker 1: a word and opened the door. It is quite useless,
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  Speaker 1: Austin said she. You must consider our engagement at an end.
• 22:28
  Speaker 1: An instant later she was gone, and before I could
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  Speaker 1: recover myself sufficiently to follow her, I heard the hall
• 22:34
  Speaker 1: door close behind her. I rushed into my room to
• 22:38
  Speaker 1: change my coat, with the idea of hurrying round to
• 22:41
  Speaker 1: Miss Mardin's to learn from her what the cause of
• 22:44
  Speaker 1: my misfortune might be. So shaken was I that I
• 22:48
  Speaker 1: could hardly lace my boots. Never shall I forget those
• 22:52
  Speaker 1: horrible ten minutes. I had just pulled on my overcoat
• 22:56
  Speaker 1: when the clock upon the mantel piece struck ten ten.
• 23:01
  Speaker 1: I associated the idea with Miss Penclose's note. It was
• 23:05
  Speaker 1: lying before me on the table, and I tore it open.
• 23:09
  Speaker 1: It was scribbled in pencil in a peculiarly angular handwriting
• 23:14
  Speaker 1: my dear Professor Gilroy. It said, pray excuse the personal
• 23:19
  Speaker 1: nature of the test which I am giving you. Professor
• 23:23
  Speaker 1: Wilson happened to mention the relations between you and my
• 23:26
  Speaker 1: subject of this evening, and it struck me that nothing
• 23:29
  Speaker 1: could be more convincing to you than if I were
• 23:32
  Speaker 1: to suggest to Miss Martin that she should call upon
• 23:35
  Speaker 1: you at half past nine tomorrow morning and suspend your
• 23:38
  Speaker 1: engagement for half an hour or so. Science is so
• 23:43
  Speaker 1: exacting that it is difficult to give a satisfying test.
• 23:47
  Speaker 1: But I am convinced that this at least will be
• 23:50
  Speaker 1: an action which she would be most unlikely to do
• 23:53
  Speaker 1: of her own free will forget anything that she may
• 23:58
  Speaker 1: have said, as she has really nothing whatever to do
• 24:02
  Speaker 1: with it, and will certainly not recollect anything about it.
• 24:06
  Speaker 1: I write this note to shorten your anxiety and to
• 24:10
  Speaker 1: beg you to forgive me for the momentary unhappiness which
• 24:13
  Speaker 1: my suggestion must have caused you. Yours faithfully, Helen Pinclosa. Really,
• 24:21
  Speaker 1: when I had read the note, I was too relieved
• 24:23
  Speaker 1: to be angry. It was a liberty, certainly, it was
• 24:27
  Speaker 1: a very great liberty, indeed on the part of a
• 24:30
  Speaker 1: lady whom I had met only once, but after all
• 24:34
  Speaker 1: I had challenged her by my skepticism. It may have been,
• 24:39
  Speaker 1: as she said, a little difficult to devise a test
• 24:41
  Speaker 1: which would satisfy me, and she had done that, there
• 24:46
  Speaker 1: could be no question at all. Upon that point for me,
• 24:50
  Speaker 1: hypnotic suggestion was finally established. It took its place from
• 24:55
  Speaker 1: now onward as one of the facts of life. That Agatha,
• 25:00
  Speaker 1: who of all women of my acquaintance, has the best
• 25:02
  Speaker 1: balanced mind, had been reduced to a condition of automatism.
• 25:07
  Speaker 1: Appeared to be certain A person at a distance had
• 25:11
  Speaker 1: worked her as an engineer on the shore might guide
• 25:14
  Speaker 1: a Brennan torpedo. A second soul had stepped in, as
• 25:18
  Speaker 1: it were, had pushed her on aside, and had seized
• 25:22
  Speaker 1: her nervous mechanism, saying I will work this for in
• 25:26
  Speaker 1: half an hour. And Agatha must have been unconscious as
• 25:30
  Speaker 1: she came and as she returned. Could she make her
• 25:34
  Speaker 1: way in safety through the streets in such a state?
• 25:38
  Speaker 1: I put on my hat and hurried round to see
• 25:40
  Speaker 1: if all was well with her. Yes, she was at home.
• 25:45
  Speaker 1: I was shown into the drawing room and found her
• 25:47
  Speaker 1: sitting with a book upon her lap. You are an
• 25:50
  Speaker 1: early visitor, Austin, she said, smiling, and you have been
• 25:55
  Speaker 1: an even earlier one, I answered. She looked puzzled. You mean,
• 26:00
  Speaker 1: she asked, you have not been out to day? No,
• 26:04
  Speaker 1: certainly not, Agatha, I said, I seriously would you mind
• 26:10
  Speaker 1: telling me exactly what you have done this morning? She
• 26:14
  Speaker 1: laughed at my earnestness. You've got on your professional look, Austin,
• 26:18
  Speaker 1: see what comes of being engaged to a man of science. However,
• 26:23
  Speaker 1: I will tell you, though I can't imagine what you
• 26:25
  Speaker 1: want to know. For I got up at eight, I
• 26:28
  Speaker 1: breakfasted at half past I came into this room at
• 26:32
  Speaker 1: ten minutes past nine and began to read the memoirs
• 26:36
  Speaker 1: of Mademoiselle de Ramusotte. In a few minutes, I did
• 26:40
  Speaker 1: the French lady the bad compliment of dropping to sleep
• 26:43
  Speaker 1: over her pages, And I did you, sir, the very
• 26:46
  Speaker 1: flattering one of dreaming about you. It is only a
• 26:50
  Speaker 1: few minutes since I woke up and found yourself where
• 26:54
  Speaker 1: you had been before. Why where else should I find myself?
• 27:00
  Speaker 1: Would you mind telling me, Agatha, what it was that
• 27:03
  Speaker 1: you dreamed about? It really is not mere curiosity on
• 27:07
  Speaker 1: my part. I merely had a vague impression that you
• 27:12
  Speaker 1: came into it. I cannot recall anything definite if you
• 27:17
  Speaker 1: have not been out to day, Agatha, how is it
• 27:19
  Speaker 1: that your shoes are dusty? A pained look came over
• 27:23
  Speaker 1: her face. Really, Austin, I do not know what is
• 27:27
  Speaker 1: the matter with you this morning? One would almost think
• 27:31
  Speaker 1: that you doubted my word. If my boots are dusty,
• 27:34
  Speaker 1: it must be, of course that I have put on
• 27:36
  Speaker 1: a pair which the maid had not cleaned. It was
• 27:40
  Speaker 1: perfectly evident that she knew nothing whatever about the matter,
• 27:44
  Speaker 1: And I reflected that, after all, perhaps it was better
• 27:48
  Speaker 1: that I should not enlighten her. It might frighten her
• 27:52
  Speaker 1: and could serve no good purpose that I could see.
• 27:55
  Speaker 1: I said no more about it therefore, and left shortly
• 27:58
  Speaker 1: afterward to give my left. But I am immensely impressed.
• 28:05
  Speaker 1: My horizon of scientific possibilities has suddenly been enormously extended.
• 28:12
  Speaker 1: I no longer wonder at Wilson's demonic energy and enthusiasm,
• 28:18
  Speaker 1: who would not work hard, who had a vast virgin
• 28:21
  Speaker 1: field ready to his hand. Why I have known the
• 28:24
  Speaker 1: novel shape of the nucleolus, or a trifling peculiarity of
• 28:28
  Speaker 1: striped muscle fiber seen under a three hundred diameter lens
• 28:32
  Speaker 1: fill me with exultation. How petty do such researches seem
• 28:37
  Speaker 1: when compared to this one, which strikes at the very
• 28:40
  Speaker 1: roots of life, in the nature of the soul, I
• 28:44
  Speaker 1: had always looked upon spirit as a product of matter.
• 28:48
  Speaker 1: The brain, I thought, secreted the mind as the liver
• 28:51
  Speaker 1: does the bile. But how can this be when I
• 28:54
  Speaker 1: see mind working from a distance and playing upon matter
• 28:57
  Speaker 1: as a musician might upon a violin. The body does
• 29:01
  Speaker 1: not give rise to the soul, then, but is rather
• 29:04
  Speaker 1: the rough instrument by which the spirit manifests itself. The
• 29:09
  Speaker 1: windmill does not give rise to the wind, but only
• 29:12
  Speaker 1: indicates it. It was opposed to my whole habit of thought,
• 29:17
  Speaker 1: and yet it was undeniably possible and worthy of investigation.
• 29:23
  Speaker 1: And why should I not investigate it? I see that
• 29:26
  Speaker 1: under yesterday's date I said, if I could see something
• 29:30
  Speaker 1: positive and objective, I might be tempted to approach it
• 29:34
  Speaker 1: from the physiological aspect. Well, I've got my test. I
• 29:40
  Speaker 1: shall be as good as my word. The investigation would,
• 29:44
  Speaker 1: I am sure, be of immense interest. Some of my
• 29:48
  Speaker 1: colleagues might look askance at it, for science is full
• 29:52
  Speaker 1: of unreasoning prejudices. But if Wilson has the courage of
• 29:57
  Speaker 1: his convictions, I can afford to have it also. I
• 30:02
  Speaker 1: shall go to him tomorrow morning, to him and to
• 30:06
  Speaker 1: Miss Penclosa, if she can show us so much, it
• 30:12
  Speaker 1: is probable that she can show us more. End of
• 30:20
  Speaker 1: chapter one, The Parasite by Sir Arthur Conan Doyle. This
• 30:40
  Speaker 1: is a LibriVox recording. All LibriVox recordings are in the
• 30:44
  Speaker 1: public domain. For more information or to volunteer, please visit
• 30:51
  Speaker 1: LibriVox dot org. The Parasite a story by Sir Arthur
• 30:59
  Speaker 1: Conan Doy, Chapter two, March twenty six. Wilson was, as
• 31:08
  Speaker 1: I had anticipated, very exultant over my conversion, and Miss
• 31:12
  Speaker 1: Pinclosa was also demurely pleased at the result of her experiment. Strange,
• 31:19
  Speaker 1: what a silent, colorless creature she is, save only when
• 31:22
  Speaker 1: she exercises her power. Even talking about it gives her
• 31:27
  Speaker 1: color and life. She seems to take a singular interest
• 31:31
  Speaker 1: in me. I cannot help observing how her eyes follow
• 31:35
  Speaker 1: me about the room. We have the most interesting conversation
• 31:39
  Speaker 1: about her own powers. It is just as well to
• 31:42
  Speaker 1: put her views on record, though they cannot, of course
• 31:46
  Speaker 1: claim any scientific weight. You are on the very fringe
• 31:50
  Speaker 1: of the subject, said she, when I had expressed wonder
• 31:54
  Speaker 1: at the remarkable instance of suggestion which she had shown me.
• 31:58
  Speaker 1: I had no direct influence upon Miss Martin when she
• 32:01
  Speaker 1: came round to you, I was not even thinking of
• 32:04
  Speaker 1: her that morning. What I did was to set her
• 32:07
  Speaker 1: mind as I might set the alarum of a clock,
• 32:10
  Speaker 1: so that at the hour named it would go off
• 32:12
  Speaker 1: of its own accord. If six months instead of twelve
• 32:17
  Speaker 1: hours had been suggestion, it would have been the same.
• 32:21
  Speaker 1: And if the suggestion had been to assassinate me, she
• 32:26
  Speaker 1: would most inevitably have done so. But this is a
• 32:30
  Speaker 1: terrible power, I cried. It is, as you say, a
• 32:35
  Speaker 1: terrible power, she answered, gravely, and the more you know
• 32:39
  Speaker 1: of it, the more terrible it will seem to you.
• 32:43
  Speaker 1: May I ask, said I, what you meant when you
• 32:46
  Speaker 1: said that this matter of suggestion is only at the
• 32:49
  Speaker 1: fringe of it? What do you consider the essential? I
• 32:54
  Speaker 1: had rather not tell you. I was surprised at the
• 32:58
  Speaker 1: decision of her answer. You understand, said I that It
• 33:03
  Speaker 1: is not out of curiosity, I ask, but in the
• 33:05
  Speaker 1: hope that I may find some scientific explanation for the
• 33:09
  Speaker 1: facts with which you furnish me. Frankly, Professor Gilroy said she,
• 33:15
  Speaker 1: I am not at all interested in science, nor do
• 33:18
  Speaker 1: I care whether it can or cannot classify these powers.
• 33:23
  Speaker 1: But I was hoping Ah, that is quite another thing.
• 33:28
  Speaker 1: If you make it a personal matter, said she, with
• 33:31
  Speaker 1: the pleasantest of smiles. I shall be only too happy
• 33:35
  Speaker 1: to tell you anything you wish to know. Let me
• 33:39
  Speaker 1: see what was it you asked me? Oh about the
• 33:42
  Speaker 1: further powers, Professor Wilson won't believe in them, but they
• 33:47
  Speaker 1: are quite true all the same. For example, it is
• 33:51
  Speaker 1: possible for an operator to gain complete command over his subject,
• 33:55
  Speaker 1: presuming that the latter is a good one, without any
• 33:59
  Speaker 1: previous sigi cogestion. He may make him do whatever he
• 34:02
  Speaker 1: likes without the subject's knowledge. That depends if the force
• 34:09
  Speaker 1: were strongly exerted, he would know no more about it
• 34:13
  Speaker 1: than Miss Martin did when she came round and frightened you. So,
• 34:17
  Speaker 1: or if the influence was less powerful, he might be
• 34:20
  Speaker 1: conscious of what he was doing, but be quite unable
• 34:23
  Speaker 1: to prevent himself from doing it. Would he have lost
• 34:27
  Speaker 1: his own will power, then it would be overridden by
• 34:31
  Speaker 1: another stronger one. Have you exercised this power yourself several times?
• 34:40
  Speaker 1: Is your own will so strong? Then well? It does
• 34:45
  Speaker 1: not entirely depend upon that. Many have strong wills which
• 34:50
  Speaker 1: are not detachable from themselves. The thing is to have
• 34:54
  Speaker 1: the gift of projecting it into another person and superseding
• 34:57
  Speaker 1: his own. I find that the power varies with my
• 35:01
  Speaker 1: own strength and health. Practically, you send your soul into
• 35:05
  Speaker 1: another person's body, Well, you might put it that way,
• 35:11
  Speaker 1: And what does your own body do? It merely feels lethargic. Well,
• 35:19
  Speaker 1: but is there no danger to your own health, I asked?
• 35:24
  Speaker 1: There might be a little. You have to be careful
• 35:27
  Speaker 1: never to let your own consciousness absolutely go, otherwise you
• 35:31
  Speaker 1: might experience some difficulty in finding your way back again.
• 35:35
  Speaker 1: You must always preserve the connection, as it were. I'm
• 35:39
  Speaker 1: afraid I express myself very badly, Professor Gilroy. But of
• 35:43
  Speaker 1: course I don't know how to put these things in
• 35:45
  Speaker 1: a scientific way. I'm just giving you my own experiences
• 35:50
  Speaker 1: and my own explanations. Well, I read this over now
• 35:55
  Speaker 1: at my leisure, and I marvel at myself. Is this
• 35:59
  Speaker 1: Austin gil Roy, the man who has won his way
• 36:02
  Speaker 1: to the front by hard reasoning power and by his
• 36:05
  Speaker 1: devotion to fact. Here I am gravely retelling the gossip
• 36:11
  Speaker 1: of a woman who tells me how her soul may
• 36:13
  Speaker 1: be projected from her body, and how while she lies
• 36:16
  Speaker 1: in a lethargy, she can control the actions of people
• 36:20
  Speaker 1: at a distance. Do I accept it? Certainly not. She
• 36:25
  Speaker 1: must prove and re prove before I yield a point.
• 36:29
  Speaker 1: But if I am still a skeptic, I have at
• 36:32
  Speaker 1: least ceased to be a scoffer. We are to have
• 36:35
  Speaker 1: a sitting this evening, and she is to try if
• 36:38
  Speaker 1: she can produce any mesmeric effect upon me. If she can,
• 36:41
  Speaker 1: it will make an excellent starting point for our investigation.
• 36:46
  Speaker 1: No one can accuse me at any rate of complicity.
• 36:50
  Speaker 1: If she cannot, we must try and find some subject
• 36:53
  Speaker 1: who will be like Caesar's wife, Wilson is perfectly impervious
• 37:01
  Speaker 1: ten p m. I believe that I am on the
• 37:05
  Speaker 1: threshold of an epoch making investigation. To have the power
• 37:09
  Speaker 1: of examining these phenomena from inside, to have an organism
• 37:14
  Speaker 1: which will respond, and at the same time a brain
• 37:17
  Speaker 1: which will appreciate and criticize, that is surely a unique advantage.
• 37:24
  Speaker 1: I am quite sure that Wilson would give five years
• 37:26
  Speaker 1: of his life to be as susceptible as I have
• 37:29
  Speaker 1: proved myself to be. There was no one present except
• 37:33
  Speaker 1: Wilson and his wife. I was seated with my head
• 37:36
  Speaker 1: leaning back and Mispinclosa, standing in front and a little
• 37:40
  Speaker 1: to the left, use the same long, sweeping strokes as
• 37:44
  Speaker 1: with Agatha. At each of them, a warm current of
• 37:47
  Speaker 1: air seemed to strike me and to suffuse a thrill
• 37:51
  Speaker 1: and glow all through me from head to foot. My
• 37:55
  Speaker 1: eyes were fixed upon Miss Pinclosa's face, but as I gazed,
• 37:59
  Speaker 1: the features seemed to blur into fade away. I was
• 38:03
  Speaker 1: conscious only of her own eyes looking down at me, gray, deep, inscrutable. Larger,
• 38:12
  Speaker 1: they grew and larger, until they changed suddenly into two
• 38:16
  Speaker 1: mountain lakes, toward which I seemed to be falling with
• 38:19
  Speaker 1: horrible rapidity. I shuddered, and as I did so, some
• 38:24
  Speaker 1: deeper stratum of thought told me that the shutter represented
• 38:27
  Speaker 1: the rigor which I had observed in Agatha. An instant
• 38:32
  Speaker 1: later I struck the surface of the lakes now joined
• 38:35
  Speaker 1: into one, and down I went, beneath the water, with
• 38:38
  Speaker 1: a fullness in my head and a buzzing in my ears.
• 38:42
  Speaker 1: Down I went, down, down, and then with a swoop
• 38:48
  Speaker 1: up again, until I could see the light streaming brightly
• 38:51
  Speaker 1: through the green water. I was almost at the surface
• 38:54
  Speaker 1: when the word awake rang through my head, and with
• 38:58
  Speaker 1: a start. I found myself back in the armchair, with
• 39:01
  Speaker 1: Miss Pinclosa leaning on her crutch and Wilson his notebook
• 39:05
  Speaker 1: in his hand, peeping over her shoulder. No heaviness or
• 39:09
  Speaker 1: weariness was left behind. On the contrary, though it is
• 39:13
  Speaker 1: only an hour or so since the experiment, I feel
• 39:17
  Speaker 1: so wakeful that I am more inclined for my study
• 39:20
  Speaker 1: than my bedroom. I see quite a vista of interesting
• 39:25
  Speaker 1: experiments extending before us, and am all impatience to begin
• 39:29
  Speaker 1: upon them. March twenty seven, a blank day, as Miss
• 39:35
  Speaker 1: Pinclosa goes with Wilson and his wife to the Suttons
• 39:39
  Speaker 1: have begun Binet and Foray's animal magnetism. What strange deep waters.
• 39:47
  Speaker 1: These are results, results, results, and the cause and absolute mystery.
• 39:54
  Speaker 1: It is stimulating to the imagination, but I must be
• 39:57
  Speaker 1: on my guard against that. Let us have no inferences
• 40:01
  Speaker 1: nor deductions, and nothing but solid facts. I know that
• 40:07
  Speaker 1: the mesmeric trance is true. I know that the mesmeric
• 40:12
  Speaker 1: suggestion is true. I know that I am myself sensitive
• 40:17
  Speaker 1: to this force. That is my present position. I have
• 40:21
  Speaker 1: a large new note book which shall be devoted entirely
• 40:25
  Speaker 1: to scientific detail. Long talk with Agatha and Miss Martin
• 40:30
  Speaker 1: in the evening about our marriage. We think that the
• 40:33
  Speaker 1: summer vacation, the beginning of it, would be the best
• 40:36
  Speaker 1: time for the wedding. Why should we delay? I grudge
• 40:41
  Speaker 1: even those few months. Still, as Miss Martin says, there
• 40:45
  Speaker 1: are a good many things to be arranged. March twenty eighth,
• 40:52
  Speaker 1: mesmerized again by Miss Penclosa. Experience much the same as before,
• 40:58
  Speaker 1: save that insensibility came on more quickly. See notebook A
• 41:03
  Speaker 1: for temperature of room, barometric pressure, pulse and respiration as
• 41:09
  Speaker 1: taken by Professor Wilson. March twenty nine, mesmerized again details
• 41:17
  Speaker 1: in notebook A. March thirty Sunday and a blank day.
• 41:26
  Speaker 1: I grudge any interruption of our experiments at present. They
• 41:30
  Speaker 1: merely embrace the physical signs which go with slight, with
• 41:34
  Speaker 1: complete and with extreme insensibility. Afterward, we hope to pass
• 41:40
  Speaker 1: on to the phenomena of suggestion and of lucidity. Professors
• 41:45
  Speaker 1: have demonstrated these things upon women at Nancy and at
• 41:49
  Speaker 1: the Saltpetrie. It will be more convincing when a woman
• 41:54
  Speaker 1: demonstrates it upon a professor, with a second professor as
• 41:57
  Speaker 1: a witness. And that I should be the sub I
• 42:01
  Speaker 1: the skeptic, the materialist. At least I have shown that
• 42:05
  Speaker 1: my devotion to science is greater than to my own
• 42:08
  Speaker 1: personal consistency. The eating of our own words is the
• 42:13
  Speaker 1: greatest sacrifice which truth ever requires of us. My neighbor,
• 42:18
  Speaker 1: Charles Sadler, the handsome young demonstrator of anatomy, came in
• 42:23
  Speaker 1: this evening to return a volume of Virchal's archives which
• 42:27
  Speaker 1: I had lent him. I call him young, but as
• 42:30
  Speaker 1: a matter of fact, he is a year older than
• 42:32
  Speaker 1: I am. I understand. Gilroy said he that you are
• 42:37
  Speaker 1: being experimented upon by miss Pinclosa. Well, he went on,
• 42:42
  Speaker 1: when I had acknowledged it. If I were you, I
• 42:46
  Speaker 1: should not let it go any further. You will think
• 42:49
  Speaker 1: me very impertinent, no doubt, But none the less, I
• 42:52
  Speaker 1: feel it to be my duty to advise you to
• 42:54
  Speaker 1: have no more to do with her. Of course, I
• 42:57
  Speaker 1: asked him why I am so placed that I cannot
• 43:02
  Speaker 1: enter into particulars as freely as I could wish, said he,
• 43:06
  Speaker 1: Miss Pinclosa is the friend of my friend, and my
• 43:10
  Speaker 1: position is a delicate one. I can only say this
• 43:15
  Speaker 1: that I have myself been the subject of some of
• 43:18
  Speaker 1: the woman's experiments, and that they have left a most
• 43:21
  Speaker 1: unpleasant impression upon my mind. He could hardly expect me
• 43:26
  Speaker 1: to be satisfied with that, and I tried hard to
• 43:29
  Speaker 1: get something more definite out of him, but without success.
• 43:33
  Speaker 1: Is it conceivable that he could be jealous at my
• 43:35
  Speaker 1: having superseded him? Or is he one of those men
• 43:39
  Speaker 1: of science who feel personally injured when facts run counter
• 43:43
  Speaker 1: to their preconceived opinions. He cannot seriously suppose that, because
• 43:48
  Speaker 1: he have some vague grievance, I am therefore to abandon
• 43:52
  Speaker 1: a series of experiments which promise to be so fruitful
• 43:55
  Speaker 1: of results. He appeared to be annoyed at the light
• 43:59
  Speaker 1: way in which I treated his shadowy warnings, and we
• 44:03
  Speaker 1: parted with some little coldness on both sides. March thirty one,
• 44:09
  Speaker 1: Mesmerized by Miss P April one, mesmerized by Miss p
• 44:18
  Speaker 1: C notebook A, April two, mesmerized by Miss P sphymographic
• 44:27
  Speaker 1: chart taken by Professor Wilson, April three. It is possible
• 44:35
  Speaker 1: that this course of mesmerism may be a little trying
• 44:38
  Speaker 1: to the general constitution. Agatha says that I am thinner
• 44:42
  Speaker 1: and darker under the eyes. I am conscious of a
• 44:46
  Speaker 1: nervous irritability which I had not observed in myself before.
• 44:50
  Speaker 1: The least noise, for example, makes me start, and the
• 44:54
  Speaker 1: stupidity of a student causes me exasperation instead of amusement.
• 45:00
  Speaker 1: Agatha wishes me to stop, but I tell her that
• 45:02
  Speaker 1: every course of study is trying, and that one can
• 45:05
  Speaker 1: never attain a result without paying some price for it.
• 45:09
  Speaker 1: When she sees the sensation which my forthcoming paper on
• 45:13
  Speaker 1: the relation between Mind and matter may make, she will
• 45:17
  Speaker 1: understand that it is worth a little nervous wear and tear.
• 45:21
  Speaker 1: I should not be surprised if I got my f
• 45:25
  Speaker 1: r s over it mesmerized again in the evening. The
• 45:30
  Speaker 1: effect is produced more rapidly now, and the subjective visions
• 45:34
  Speaker 1: are less marked. I keep full notes of each sitting.
• 45:39
  Speaker 1: Wilson is leaving town for a week or ten days.
• 45:42
  Speaker 1: But we shall not interrupt the experiments, which depend for
• 45:47
  Speaker 1: their value as much upon my sensations as on his observations.
• 45:53
  Speaker 1: April fourth, I must be carefully on my guard. A
• 45:57
  Speaker 1: complication has crept into our experiments, which I had not
• 46:01
  Speaker 1: reckoned upon. In my eagerness for scientific facts, I have
• 46:05
  Speaker 1: been foolishly blind to the human relations between Miss Pinclosa
• 46:09
  Speaker 1: and myself. I can write here what I would not
• 46:12
  Speaker 1: breathe to a living soul. The unhappy woman appears to
• 46:17
  Speaker 1: have formed an attachment for me. I should not say
• 46:22
  Speaker 1: such a thing, even in the privacy of my own
• 46:25
  Speaker 1: intimate journal, if it had not come to such a
• 46:28
  Speaker 1: pass that it is impossible to ignore it for some time.
• 46:32
  Speaker 1: That is, for the last week. There have been signs
• 46:35
  Speaker 1: which I have brushed aside and refuse to think of
• 46:39
  Speaker 1: her brightness when I come, her dejection when I go,
• 46:43
  Speaker 1: her eagerness that I should come. Often, the expression of
• 46:47
  Speaker 1: her eyes, the tone of her voice. I tried to
• 46:50
  Speaker 1: think that they meant nothing and were perhaps only her
• 46:53
  Speaker 1: ardent West Indian manner. But last night, as I awoke
• 46:57
  Speaker 1: from the mesmeric sleep, I put out my hand unconsciously
• 47:01
  Speaker 1: involuntarily and clasped hers. When I came fully to myself,
• 47:07
  Speaker 1: we were sitting with them locked. She looked up at
• 47:09
  Speaker 1: me with an expectant smile. And the horrible thing was
• 47:13
  Speaker 1: that I felt impelled to say what she expected me
• 47:16
  Speaker 1: to say. What a false wretch I should have been,
• 47:20
  Speaker 1: How I should have loathed myself today had I yielded
• 47:24
  Speaker 1: to the temptation of that moment, but thank god I
• 47:28
  Speaker 1: was strong enough to spring up and hurry from the room.
• 47:31
  Speaker 1: I was rude, I fear, but I could not know.
• 47:35
  Speaker 1: I could not trust myself. Another moment, I a gentleman,
• 47:40
  Speaker 1: a man of honor, engaged to one of the sweetest
• 47:43
  Speaker 1: girls in England, and yet, in a moment of reasonless passion,
• 47:47
  Speaker 1: I nearly professed love for this woman, whom I hardly know.
• 47:52
  Speaker 1: She is far older than myself and a cripple. It
• 47:55
  Speaker 1: is monstrous, odious, And yet the impulse was so strong
• 47:59
  Speaker 1: that had I stayed another minute in her presence, I
• 48:02
  Speaker 1: should have committed myself. What was it? I have to
• 48:07
  Speaker 1: teach others the workings of our organism, and what do
• 48:10
  Speaker 1: I know of it myself? Was it the sudden upcropping
• 48:13
  Speaker 1: of some lower stratum in my nature, a brutal, primitive
• 48:17
  Speaker 1: instinct suddenly asserting itself. I could almost believe the tales
• 48:22
  Speaker 1: of obsession by evil spirits. So overmastering was the feeling. Well,
• 48:29
  Speaker 1: the incident places me in a most unfortunate position. On
• 48:33
  Speaker 1: the one hand, I am very loath to abandon a
• 48:36
  Speaker 1: series of experiments which have already gone so far, and
• 48:39
  Speaker 1: which promise such brilliant results. On the other if this
• 48:44
  Speaker 1: unhappy woman has conceived a passion for me, but surely
• 48:48
  Speaker 1: even now I must have made some hideous mistake. She
• 48:52
  Speaker 1: with her age and her deformity, it is impossible. And
• 48:56
  Speaker 1: then she knew about Agatha, she understood how I was placed.
• 49:01
  Speaker 1: She only smiled out of amusement. Perhaps, when in my
• 49:04
  Speaker 1: dazed state I seized her hand. It was my half
• 49:09
  Speaker 1: mesmerized brain which gave it a meaning. In spraying with
• 49:12
  Speaker 1: such beastial swiftness to meet it, I wish I could
• 49:16
  Speaker 1: persuade myself that it was indeed so on the whole.
• 49:20
  Speaker 1: Perhaps my wisest plan would be to postpone our other
• 49:23
  Speaker 1: experiments until Wilson's return. I have written a note to
• 49:27
  Speaker 1: Miss Conclosa, therefore making no illusion to last night, but
• 49:31
  Speaker 1: saying that our press of work would cause me to
• 49:34
  Speaker 1: interrupt our sittings for a few days. She has answered
• 49:37
  Speaker 1: formally enough to say that if I should change my mind,
• 49:40
  Speaker 1: I should find her at home at the UE's ual
• 49:43
  Speaker 1: hour ten p m. Well, Well, what a thing of
• 49:50
  Speaker 1: straw I am. I am coming to know myself better
• 49:54
  Speaker 1: of late, and the more I know, the lower I
• 49:57
  Speaker 1: fall in my own estimation. I was not always so
• 50:01
  Speaker 1: weak as this. At four o'clock I should have smiled
• 50:05
  Speaker 1: had any one told me that I should go to
• 50:07
  Speaker 1: Miss Penclosa's to night. And yet at eight I was
• 50:11
  Speaker 1: at Wilson's door as usual. I don't know how it occurred,
• 50:16
  Speaker 1: the influence of habit. I suppose perhaps there is a
• 50:20
  Speaker 1: mesmeric craze, as there is an opium craze, and I
• 50:23
  Speaker 1: am a victim to it. I only know that as
• 50:27
  Speaker 1: I worked in my study, I became more and more uneasy.
• 50:31
  Speaker 1: I fidgeted, I worried, I could not concentrate my mind
• 50:36
  Speaker 1: upon the papers in front of me. And then at last,
• 50:39
  Speaker 1: almost before I knew what I was doing, I seized
• 50:42
  Speaker 1: my hat and hurried round to keep my usual appointment.
• 50:46
  Speaker 1: We had an interesting evening. Miss Wilson was present during
• 50:50
  Speaker 1: most of the time, which prevented the embarrassment which one,
• 50:54
  Speaker 1: at least of us must have felt. Miss Pinclosa's manner
• 50:58
  Speaker 1: was quite the same as usual, and she expressed no
• 51:01
  Speaker 1: surprise at my having come. In spite of my note.
• 51:04
  Speaker 1: There was nothing in her bearing to show that yesterday's
• 51:06
  Speaker 1: incident had made any impression upon her. And so I
• 51:10
  Speaker 1: am inclined to hope that I overrated it. April sixth evening, No, no, no,
• 51:20
  Speaker 1: I did not overrate it. I can no longer attempt
• 51:23
  Speaker 1: to conceal from myself that this woman has conceived a
• 51:26
  Speaker 1: passion for me. It is monstrous, but it is true Again.
• 51:31
  Speaker 1: To night I awoke from the mesmeric trance to find
• 51:34
  Speaker 1: my hand in hers, and to suffer that odious feeling
• 51:38
  Speaker 1: which urges me to throw away my honor, my career,
• 51:42
  Speaker 1: everything for the sake of this creature, who, as I
• 51:45
  Speaker 1: can plainly see, when I am away from her influence,
• 51:49
  Speaker 1: possesses no single charm upon earth. But when I am
• 51:53
  Speaker 1: near her, I do not feel this. She rouses something
• 51:57
  Speaker 1: in me, something evil, something I had rather not think
• 52:00
  Speaker 1: think of. She paralyzes my better nature too, at the
• 52:04
  Speaker 1: moment when she stimulates my worse decidedly it is not
• 52:09
  Speaker 1: good for me to be near her. Last night was
• 52:13
  Speaker 1: worse than before. Instead of flying, I actually sat for
• 52:17
  Speaker 1: some time with my hand in hers, talking over the
• 52:20
  Speaker 1: most intimate subjects with her. We spoke of Agatha, among
• 52:25
  Speaker 1: other things. What could I have been dreaming of? Miss
• 52:29
  Speaker 1: Pinclosa said that she was conventional and I agreed with her.
• 52:33
  Speaker 1: She spoke once or twice in a disparaging way of her,
• 52:36
  Speaker 1: and I did not protest. What a creature I have
• 52:40
  Speaker 1: been weak, as I have proved myself to be. I
• 52:44
  Speaker 1: am still strong enough to bring this sort of thing
• 52:46
  Speaker 1: to an end. It shall not happen again. I have
• 52:50
  Speaker 1: sense enough to fly when I cannot fight. From this
• 52:53
  Speaker 1: Sunday night onward, I shall never sit with Miss Pinclosa again.
• 52:57
  Speaker 1: Never let the experiments go. Oh, let the research come
• 53:02
  Speaker 1: to an end. Anything is better than facing this monstrous
• 53:05
  Speaker 1: temptation which drags me so low. I have said nothing
• 53:10
  Speaker 1: to Miss Penclosa, but I shall simply stay away. She
• 53:14
  Speaker 1: can tell the reason without any words of mine. April seven,
• 53:20
  Speaker 1: have stayed away. As I said, it is a pity
• 53:23
  Speaker 1: to ruin such an interesting investigation, but it would be
• 53:27
  Speaker 1: a greater pity still to ruin my life. And I
• 53:30
  Speaker 1: know that I cannot trust myself with that woman. Eleven
• 53:34
  Speaker 1: p m. God help me, What is the matter with me?
• 53:39
  Speaker 1: Am I going mad? Let me try and be calm
• 53:42
  Speaker 1: and reason with myself. First of all, I shall set
• 53:46
  Speaker 1: down exactly what occurred. It was nearly eight when I
• 53:51
  Speaker 1: wrote the lines with which this day begins feeling strangely
• 53:56
  Speaker 1: restless and uneasy. I left my rooms and walked round
• 53:59
  Speaker 1: to spend the evening with Agatha and her mother. They
• 54:03
  Speaker 1: both remarked that I was pale and haggard. About nine,
• 54:07
  Speaker 1: Professor Pratt Haldane came in and we played a game
• 54:10
  Speaker 1: of whist. I tried hard to concentrate my attention upon
• 54:14
  Speaker 1: the cards, but the feeling of restlessness grew and grew,
• 54:17
  Speaker 1: until I found it impossible to struggle against it. I
• 54:21
  Speaker 1: simply could not sit still at the table. At last,
• 54:25
  Speaker 1: in the very middle of a hand, I threw my
• 54:27
  Speaker 1: cards down, and with some sort of incoherent apology about
• 54:32
  Speaker 1: an appointment, I rushed from the room, as if in
• 54:35
  Speaker 1: a dream. I have a vague recollection of tearing through
• 54:38
  Speaker 1: the hall, snatching my hat from the stand, and slamming
• 54:42
  Speaker 1: the door behind me as in a dream, too. I
• 54:46
  Speaker 1: have the impression of the double line of gas lamps,
• 54:48
  Speaker 1: and my bespattered boots tell me that I must have
• 54:51
  Speaker 1: run down the middle of the road. It was all
• 54:54
  Speaker 1: misty and strange and unnatural. I came to Wilson's house.
• 55:00
  Speaker 1: I saw Miss Wilson, and I saw Miss Pinclosa, I
• 55:03
  Speaker 1: hardly recall what we talked about, but I do remember
• 55:06
  Speaker 1: that Miss p shook the head of her crutch at
• 55:08
  Speaker 1: me in a playful way and accused me of being
• 55:11
  Speaker 1: late and of losing interest in our experiments. There was
• 55:15
  Speaker 1: no mesmerism, but I stayed some time and have only
• 55:19
  Speaker 1: just returned. My brain is quite clear again now, and
• 55:23
  Speaker 1: I can think over what has occurred. It is absurd
• 55:27
  Speaker 1: to suppose that it is merely weakness and force of habit.
• 55:30
  Speaker 1: I tried to explain it in that way the other night,
• 55:33
  Speaker 1: but it will no longer suffice. It is something much
• 55:37
  Speaker 1: deeper and more terrible than that. Why when I was
• 55:40
  Speaker 1: at the Marten's whist table, I was dragged away as
• 55:43
  Speaker 1: if the noose of a rope had been cast around me.
• 55:47
  Speaker 1: I can no longer disguise it from myself. The woman
• 55:50
  Speaker 1: has her grip upon me. I am in her clutch.
• 55:55
  Speaker 1: But I must keep my head and reason it out
• 55:57
  Speaker 1: and see what is best to be done. What a
• 56:00
  Speaker 1: blind fool I have been in my enthusiasm over my research.
• 56:05
  Speaker 1: I have walked straight into the pit, although it lay
• 56:07
  Speaker 1: gaping before me. Did she not herself warn me? Did
• 56:12
  Speaker 1: she not tell me? As I can read in my
• 56:14
  Speaker 1: own journal that when she has acquired power over a subject,
• 56:18
  Speaker 1: she can make him do her will, And she has
• 56:21
  Speaker 1: acquired that power over me. I am, for the moment,
• 56:26
  Speaker 1: at the beck and call of this creature with the crutch.
• 56:30
  Speaker 1: I must come when she wills it. I must do
• 56:33
  Speaker 1: as she wills. Worst of all, I must fill as
• 56:37
  Speaker 1: she wills. I loathe her and fear her. Yet while
• 56:42
  Speaker 1: I am under the spell, she can doubtless make me
• 56:45
  Speaker 1: love her. There is some consolation in the thought, then,
• 56:50
  Speaker 1: that these odious impulses for which I have blamed myself
• 56:53
  Speaker 1: do not really come from me at all. They are
• 56:56
  Speaker 1: all transferred from her little as I could have guessed
• 56:59
  Speaker 1: it at the time. I feel cleaner and lighter for
• 57:02
  Speaker 1: the thought. April eight. Yes, now, in broad daylight, writing
• 57:08
  Speaker 1: coolly and with time for reflection, I am compelled to
• 57:12
  Speaker 1: confirm everything which I wrote in my journal last night.
• 57:16
  Speaker 1: I am in a horrible position. But above all I
• 57:19
  Speaker 1: must not lose my head. I must pit my intellect
• 57:22
  Speaker 1: against her powers. After all, I am no silly puppet
• 57:27
  Speaker 1: to dance at the end of a string. I have energy, brains,
• 57:31
  Speaker 1: courage For all her devil's tricks. I may beat her,
• 57:35
  Speaker 1: Yet may I must or what is to become of me?
• 57:40
  Speaker 1: Let me try to reason it out. This woman, by
• 57:43
  Speaker 1: her own explanation, can dominate my nervous organism. She can
• 57:47
  Speaker 1: project herself into my body and take command of it.
• 57:51
  Speaker 1: She has a parasite soul. Yes, she is a parasite,
• 57:55
  Speaker 1: a monstrous parasite. She creeps into my frame as the
• 57:59
  Speaker 1: hermit crab does into the whelk's shell. I am powerless.
• 58:04
  Speaker 1: What can I do? I am dealing with the forces
• 58:07
  Speaker 1: of which I know nothing, and I can tell no
• 58:10
  Speaker 1: one of my trouble. They would set me down as
• 58:13
  Speaker 1: a madman. Certainly if it got noised abroad, the university
• 58:18
  Speaker 1: would say that they had no need of a devil
• 58:21
  Speaker 1: ridden professor and Agatha no, no, I must face it alone.
• 58:33
  Speaker 1: End of chapter two. The Parasite by Sir Arthur Conan Doyle.
• 58:56
  Speaker 1: This is a LibriVox recording. All liber Rivok's recordings are
• 59:01
  Speaker 1: in the public domain. For more information or to volunteer,
• 59:07
  Speaker 1: please visit LibriVox dot org. The Parasite a story by
• 59:16
  Speaker 1: Sir Arthur Conan Doyle. Chapter three. I read over my
• 59:22
  Speaker 1: notes of what the woman said when she spoke about
• 59:25
  Speaker 1: her powers. There is one point which fills me with dismay.
• 59:31
  Speaker 1: She implies that when the influence is slight, the subject
• 59:35
  Speaker 1: knows what he is doing, but cannot control himself, whereas
• 59:39
  Speaker 1: when it is strongly exerted, he is absolutely unconscious. Now
• 59:45
  Speaker 1: I have always known what I did, though less so
• 59:48
  Speaker 1: last night than on the previous occasions. That seems to
• 59:52
  Speaker 1: mean that she has never yet exerted her full powers
• 59:56
  Speaker 1: upon me. Was ever a man so placed before? Yes,
• 1:00:03
  Speaker 1: perhaps there was, and very near me too. Charles Sadler
• 1:00:08
  Speaker 1: must know something of this. His vague words of warning
• 1:00:12
  Speaker 1: take a meaning. Now. Oh, if I had only listened
• 1:00:16
  Speaker 1: to him then before I helped, by these repeated sittings
• 1:00:20
  Speaker 1: to forge the links of the chain which binds me.
• 1:00:24
  Speaker 1: But I will see him today. I will apologize to
• 1:00:28
  Speaker 1: him for having treated his warning so lightly. I will
• 1:00:31
  Speaker 1: see if he can advise me four p m. No,
• 1:00:38
  Speaker 1: he cannot. I have talked with him, and he showed
• 1:00:41
  Speaker 1: such surprise at the first words in which I tried
• 1:00:44
  Speaker 1: to express my unspeakable secret that I went no further,
• 1:00:49
  Speaker 1: as far as I can gather by hints and inferences
• 1:00:52
  Speaker 1: rather than by any statement. His own experience was limited
• 1:00:56
  Speaker 1: to some words or looks, such as I myself have endured.
• 1:01:01
  Speaker 1: His abandonment of Miss Penclosa is in itself a sign
• 1:01:05
  Speaker 1: that he was never really in her toils. Oh, if
• 1:01:10
  Speaker 1: only he knew his escape. He has to thank his
• 1:01:14
  Speaker 1: phlegmatic Saxon temperament for it. I am black and Celtic,
• 1:01:20
  Speaker 1: and this hag's clutch is deep in my nerves? Shall
• 1:01:24
  Speaker 1: I ever get out? Shall I ever be the same
• 1:01:27
  Speaker 1: man that I was just one short fortnight ago? Let
• 1:01:33
  Speaker 1: me consider what I had better do. I cannot lead
• 1:01:37
  Speaker 1: the university in the middle of the term. If I
• 1:01:39
  Speaker 1: were free, my course would be obvious. I should start
• 1:01:43
  Speaker 1: at once and travel in Persia. But would she allow
• 1:01:46
  Speaker 1: me to start? And could her influence not reach me
• 1:01:50
  Speaker 1: in Persia and bring me back to within touch of
• 1:01:53
  Speaker 1: her crutch? I can only find out the limits of
• 1:01:57
  Speaker 1: this hellish power by my own bitter expense experience. I
• 1:02:01
  Speaker 1: will fight and fight and fight, And what more can
• 1:02:06
  Speaker 1: I do? I know very well that about eight o'clock tonight,
• 1:02:11
  Speaker 1: that craving for her society, that irresistible restlessness will come
• 1:02:15
  Speaker 1: upon me. How shall I overcome it? What shall I do?
• 1:02:20
  Speaker 1: I must make it impossible for me to leave the room.
• 1:02:24
  Speaker 1: I shall lock the door and throw the key out
• 1:02:26
  Speaker 1: of the window. But then what am I to do
• 1:02:30
  Speaker 1: in the morning. Never mind about the morning, I must
• 1:02:34
  Speaker 1: at all cost break this chain which holds me. April nine, Victory,
• 1:02:41
  Speaker 1: I have done splendidly. At seven o'clock last night, I
• 1:02:45
  Speaker 1: took a hasty dinner and then locked myself up in
• 1:02:48
  Speaker 1: my bedroom and dropped the key into the garden. I
• 1:02:51
  Speaker 1: chose a cheery novel and lay in bed for three hours,
• 1:02:54
  Speaker 1: trying to read it, but really in a horrible state
• 1:02:57
  Speaker 1: of trepidation, expecting every instant that I should become conscious
• 1:03:01
  Speaker 1: of the impulse. Nothing of the sort occurred, however, and
• 1:03:05
  Speaker 1: I woke this morning with the feeling that a black
• 1:03:08
  Speaker 1: nightmare had been lifted off me. Perhaps the creature realized
• 1:03:12
  Speaker 1: what I had done and understood that it was useless
• 1:03:15
  Speaker 1: to try to influence me at any rate. I have
• 1:03:18
  Speaker 1: beaten her once, and if I can do it once,
• 1:03:20
  Speaker 1: I can do it again. It was most awkward about
• 1:03:23
  Speaker 1: the key in the morning. Luckily there was an under
• 1:03:26
  Speaker 1: gardener below, and I asked him to throw it up.
• 1:03:29
  Speaker 1: No doubt he thought I had just dropped it. I
• 1:03:32
  Speaker 1: will have doors and windows screwed up, and six stout
• 1:03:36
  Speaker 1: men to hold me down in my bed before I
• 1:03:38
  Speaker 1: will surrender myself to be hagridden in this way. I
• 1:03:43
  Speaker 1: had a note from Miss Martin this afternoon asking me
• 1:03:46
  Speaker 1: to go round and see her. I intended to do
• 1:03:49
  Speaker 1: so in any case, but had not expected to find
• 1:03:51
  Speaker 1: bad news waiting for me. It seems that the Armstrongs
• 1:03:55
  Speaker 1: from whom Agatha has expectations, are due home from Adelaide
• 1:03:59
  Speaker 1: in the Aurora, and that they have written to Miss
• 1:04:03
  Speaker 1: Martin and to her to meet them in town. They
• 1:04:06
  Speaker 1: will probably be away for a month or six weeks,
• 1:04:09
  Speaker 1: and as the Aurora is due on Wednesday, they must
• 1:04:13
  Speaker 1: go at once tomorrow if they are ready in time.
• 1:04:17
  Speaker 1: My consolation is that when we meet again, there will
• 1:04:20
  Speaker 1: be no parting between Agatha and me. I want you
• 1:04:24
  Speaker 1: to do one thing, Agatha said I when we were
• 1:04:27
  Speaker 1: alone together. If you should happen to meet Miss Penclosa,
• 1:04:31
  Speaker 1: either in town or here, you must promise me never
• 1:04:35
  Speaker 1: again to allow her to mesmerize you. Agatha opened her eyes.
• 1:04:40
  Speaker 1: Why it was only the other day that you were
• 1:04:42
  Speaker 1: saying how interesting it all was, and how determined you
• 1:04:45
  Speaker 1: were to finish your experiments. I know, but I have
• 1:04:49
  Speaker 1: changed my mind since then, and you won't have it
• 1:04:52
  Speaker 1: any more. No, I am so glad, Austin. You can't
• 1:04:57
  Speaker 1: think how pale and worn you have been late. It
• 1:05:01
  Speaker 1: was really our principal objection to going to London now
• 1:05:04
  Speaker 1: that we did not wish to leave you when you
• 1:05:07
  Speaker 1: were so pulled down, and your manner has been so
• 1:05:10
  Speaker 1: strange occasionally, especially that night when you left poor Professor
• 1:05:14
  Speaker 1: Pratt Haldane to play dummy. I am convinced that these
• 1:05:18
  Speaker 1: experiments are very bad for your nerves. I think so too, Dear,
• 1:05:23
  Speaker 1: and for Miss Pinclosa's nerves as well. You have heard
• 1:05:27
  Speaker 1: that she is ill. No, Miss Wilson told us so
• 1:05:32
  Speaker 1: last night. She described it as a nervous fever. Professor
• 1:05:35
  Speaker 1: Wilson is coming back this week, and of course Miss
• 1:05:38
  Speaker 1: Wilson is very anxious that Miss Penclosa should be well again,
• 1:05:42
  Speaker 1: for he has quite a program of experiments which he
• 1:05:45
  Speaker 1: is anxious to carry out. I was glad to have
• 1:05:48
  Speaker 1: Agatha's promise, for it was enough that this woman should
• 1:05:51
  Speaker 1: have one of us in her clutch. On the other hand,
• 1:05:55
  Speaker 1: I was disturbed to hear about Miss Penclosa's illness. It
• 1:05:58
  Speaker 1: rather discounts the victory which I appeared to win last night.
• 1:06:02
  Speaker 1: I remember that she said that loss of health interfered
• 1:06:06
  Speaker 1: with her power. That may be why I was able
• 1:06:09
  Speaker 1: to hold my own so easily. Well, well, I must
• 1:06:12
  Speaker 1: take the same precautions tonight and see what comes of it.
• 1:06:16
  Speaker 1: I'm childishly frightened when I think of her April ten.
• 1:06:24
  Speaker 1: All went very well last night. I was amused at
• 1:06:27
  Speaker 1: the gardener's face when I had again to hail him
• 1:06:30
  Speaker 1: this morning and to ask him to throw at my key.
• 1:06:34
  Speaker 1: I shall get a name among the servants if this
• 1:06:36
  Speaker 1: sort of thing goes on. But the great point is
• 1:06:39
  Speaker 1: that I stayed in my room without the slightest inclination
• 1:06:43
  Speaker 1: to leave. I do believe that I am shaking myself
• 1:06:46
  Speaker 1: clear of this incredible bond. Or is it only that
• 1:06:49
  Speaker 1: the woman's power is in abeyance until she recovers her strength.
• 1:06:54
  Speaker 1: I can but pray for the best. The Martins left
• 1:06:58
  Speaker 1: this morning, and the brightness seems to have gone out
• 1:07:01
  Speaker 1: of the spring sunshine. And yet it is very beautiful also,
• 1:07:06
  Speaker 1: as it gleams on the green chestnuts opposite my windows,
• 1:07:10
  Speaker 1: and gives a touch of gaiety to the heavy lichen
• 1:07:13
  Speaker 1: mottled walls of the old colleges. How sweet and gentle
• 1:07:17
  Speaker 1: and soothing is nature? Who would think that there lurked
• 1:07:21
  Speaker 1: in her also such vile forces and such odious possibilities.
• 1:07:27
  Speaker 1: For of course I understand that this dreadful thing which
• 1:07:30
  Speaker 1: has sprung out at me is neither supernatural nor even preternatural. No,
• 1:07:36
  Speaker 1: it is a natural force which this woman can use.
• 1:07:39
  Speaker 1: And society is ignorant of the mere fact that it
• 1:07:43
  Speaker 1: ebbs with her strength shows how entirely it is subject
• 1:07:46
  Speaker 1: to physical laws. If I had time, I might probe
• 1:07:50
  Speaker 1: it to the bottom and lay my hands upon its antidote.
• 1:07:54
  Speaker 1: But you cannot tame the tiger when you are beneath
• 1:07:56
  Speaker 1: his claws. You can but try to rie the way
• 1:08:00
  Speaker 1: from him. Ah. When I look in the glass and
• 1:08:04
  Speaker 1: see my own dark eyes and clear cut Spanish face,
• 1:08:08
  Speaker 1: I long for a vitriol splash, or about of the smallpox.
• 1:08:13
  Speaker 1: One or the other might have saved me from this calamity.
• 1:08:18
  Speaker 1: I am inclined to think that I may have trouble tonight.
• 1:08:22
  Speaker 1: There are two things which make me fear so. One
• 1:08:25
  Speaker 1: is that I met Miss Wilson in the street, and
• 1:08:28
  Speaker 1: that she tells me that Miss Pinclosa is better, though
• 1:08:31
  Speaker 1: still a weak. I find myself wishing in my heart
• 1:08:34
  Speaker 1: that the illness had been her last. The other is
• 1:08:37
  Speaker 1: that Professor Wilson comes back in a day or two,
• 1:08:40
  Speaker 1: and his presence would act as a constraint upon her.
• 1:08:44
  Speaker 1: I should not fear our interviews if a third person
• 1:08:47
  Speaker 1: were present. For both these reasons, I have a presentiment
• 1:08:51
  Speaker 1: of trouble tonight, and I shall take the same precautions
• 1:08:54
  Speaker 1: as before April ten. No, thank god all went well
• 1:09:01
  Speaker 1: last night. I really could not face the gardener again.
• 1:09:05
  Speaker 1: I locked my door and thrust the key underneath it,
• 1:09:07
  Speaker 1: so that I had to ask the maid to let
• 1:09:09
  Speaker 1: me out in the morning. But the precaution was really
• 1:09:13
  Speaker 1: not needed, for I never had any inclination to go
• 1:09:16
  Speaker 1: out at all three evenings in succession at home. I
• 1:09:21
  Speaker 1: am surely near the end of my troubles, for Wilson
• 1:09:23
  Speaker 1: will be home again, either to day or tomorrow. Shall
• 1:09:27
  Speaker 1: I tell him of what I have gone through or not?
• 1:09:30
  Speaker 1: I am convinced that I should not have the slightest
• 1:09:33
  Speaker 1: sympathy from him. He would look upon me as an
• 1:09:36
  Speaker 1: interesting case and read a paper about me. At the
• 1:09:39
  Speaker 1: next meeting of the psychical society, in which he would
• 1:09:43
  Speaker 1: gravely discuss the possibility of my being a deliberate liar
• 1:09:48
  Speaker 1: and weigh it against the chances of my being in
• 1:09:50
  Speaker 1: an early stage of lunacy. No, I shall not get
• 1:09:54
  Speaker 1: comfort out of Wilson. I'm feeling wonderfully fit and well.
• 1:10:00
  Speaker 1: I don't think I ever lectured with greater spirit. Oh,
• 1:10:04
  Speaker 1: if I could only get this shadow off my life,
• 1:10:06
  Speaker 1: how happy I should be? Young, fairly wealthy, in the
• 1:10:11
  Speaker 1: front rank of my profession, engaged to a beautiful and
• 1:10:14
  Speaker 1: charming girl. Have I not everything which a man could
• 1:10:18
  Speaker 1: ask for? Only one thing to trouble me? But what
• 1:10:23
  Speaker 1: a thing it is? Midnight? I shall go mad. Yes,
• 1:10:30
  Speaker 1: that will be the end of it. I shall go mad.
• 1:10:33
  Speaker 1: I'm not far from it now. My head throbs as
• 1:10:36
  Speaker 1: I rest it on my hot hand. I'm quivering all
• 1:10:40
  Speaker 1: over like a scared horse. Oh what a night I've had,
• 1:10:44
  Speaker 1: And yet I have some cause to be satisfied. Also,
• 1:10:50
  Speaker 1: at the risk of becoming the laughing stock of my
• 1:10:53
  Speaker 1: own servant, I again slipped my key under the door,
• 1:10:56
  Speaker 1: and prisoning myself for the night. Then, finding it too
• 1:11:01
  Speaker 1: early to go to bed, I lay down with my
• 1:11:03
  Speaker 1: clothes on and began to read one of Dumau's novels.
• 1:11:07
  Speaker 1: Suddenly I was gripped, gripped and dragged from the couch.
• 1:11:12
  Speaker 1: It is only thus that I can describe the overpowering
• 1:11:15
  Speaker 1: nature of the force which pounced upon me. I clawed
• 1:11:19
  Speaker 1: at the coverlet, I clung to the woodwork. I believe
• 1:11:23
  Speaker 1: that I screamed out in my frenzy. It was all useless, hopeless.
• 1:11:28
  Speaker 1: I must go. There was no way out of it.
• 1:11:32
  Speaker 1: It was only at the outset that I resisted. The
• 1:11:35
  Speaker 1: force soon became too overmastering For that. I thank goodness
• 1:11:40
  Speaker 1: that there were no watchers there to interfere with me.
• 1:11:44
  Speaker 1: I could not have answered for myself if there had been.
• 1:11:47
  Speaker 1: And besides the determination to get out, there came to
• 1:11:51
  Speaker 1: me also the keenest and coolest judgment in choosing my means.
• 1:11:56
  Speaker 1: I lit a candle and endeavored kneeling in the front
• 1:11:59
  Speaker 1: of the door to pull the key through with the
• 1:12:02
  Speaker 1: feather end of a quill pin. It was just too short,
• 1:12:05
  Speaker 1: and it pushed it further away. Then, with quiet persistence,
• 1:12:10
  Speaker 1: I got a paper knife out of one of the drawers,
• 1:12:12
  Speaker 1: and with that I managed to draw the keyback. I
• 1:12:16
  Speaker 1: opened the door, stepped into my study, took a photograph
• 1:12:20
  Speaker 1: of myself from the bureau, wrote something across it, placed
• 1:12:24
  Speaker 1: it in the inside pocket of my coat, and then
• 1:12:27
  Speaker 1: started off for Wilson's. It was all wonderfully clear, and
• 1:12:32
  Speaker 1: yet disassociated from the rest of my life, as the
• 1:12:35
  Speaker 1: incidence of even the most vivid dream might be. A
• 1:12:39
  Speaker 1: peculiar double consciousness possessed me. There was the predominant alien will,
• 1:12:45
  Speaker 1: which was bent upon drawing me to the side of
• 1:12:47
  Speaker 1: its owner. And there was the feebler, protesting personality, which
• 1:12:52
  Speaker 1: I recognized as being myself, tugging feebly at the overmastering
• 1:12:56
  Speaker 1: impulse as a lead terrier might at its chain. I
• 1:13:01
  Speaker 1: can remember recognizing these two conflicting forces, but I recall
• 1:13:06
  Speaker 1: nothing of my walk, nor of how I was admitted
• 1:13:08
  Speaker 1: to the house. Very vivid, however, is my recollection of
• 1:13:13
  Speaker 1: how I met Miss Pinclosa. She was reclining on the
• 1:13:17
  Speaker 1: sofa in the little boudoir in which our experiments had
• 1:13:21
  Speaker 1: usually been carried out. Her head was rested on her hand,
• 1:13:26
  Speaker 1: and a tiger skin rug had been partly drawn over her.
• 1:13:31
  Speaker 1: She looked up expectantly as I entered, and as the
• 1:13:34
  Speaker 1: lamp light fell upon her face. I could see that
• 1:13:36
  Speaker 1: she was very pale and thin, with dark hollows under
• 1:13:40
  Speaker 1: her eyes. She smiled at me and pointed to a
• 1:13:43
  Speaker 1: stool beside her. It was with her left hand that
• 1:13:46
  Speaker 1: she pointed, and I, running eagerly forward, seized it. I
• 1:13:51
  Speaker 1: loathe myself as I think of it, and pressed it
• 1:13:55
  Speaker 1: passionately to my lips. Then, seating myself upon the stool,
• 1:14:00
  Speaker 1: and still retaining her hand, I gave her the photograph
• 1:14:03
  Speaker 1: which I had brought with me, and talked and talked
• 1:14:06
  Speaker 1: and talked of my love for her, of my grief
• 1:14:11
  Speaker 1: over her illness, of my joy at her recovery of
• 1:14:15
  Speaker 1: the misery. It was to me to be absent a
• 1:14:18
  Speaker 1: single evening from her side. She lay quietly, looking down
• 1:14:23
  Speaker 1: at me with imperious eyes and her provocative smile. Once
• 1:14:27
  Speaker 1: I remember that she passed her hand over my hair
• 1:14:30
  Speaker 1: as one caresses a dog, and it gave me pleasure
• 1:14:34
  Speaker 1: the caress I thrilled under it. I was her slave,
• 1:14:38
  Speaker 1: body and soul, and for the moment I rejoiced in
• 1:14:42
  Speaker 1: my slavery. And then came the blessed change. Never tell
• 1:14:47
  Speaker 1: me that there is not a providence. I was on
• 1:14:50
  Speaker 1: the brink of perdition. My feet were on the edge.
• 1:14:54
  Speaker 1: Was it a coincidence that at that very instant help
• 1:14:57
  Speaker 1: should come? No? No, there is a providence, and its
• 1:15:02
  Speaker 1: hand has drawn me back. There is something in the
• 1:15:06
  Speaker 1: universe stronger than this devil woman with her tricks. Ah,
• 1:15:10
  Speaker 1: what a balm to my heart it is to think
• 1:15:12
  Speaker 1: of it. As I looked up at her, I was
• 1:15:17
  Speaker 1: conscious of a change in her face. Her face, which
• 1:15:21
  Speaker 1: had been pale before, was now ghastly. Her eyes were dull,
• 1:15:26
  Speaker 1: and the lids drooped heavily over them. Above all, the
• 1:15:30
  Speaker 1: look of serene confidence had gone from her features. Her
• 1:15:34
  Speaker 1: mouth had weakened, her forehead had puckered. She was frightened
• 1:15:39
  Speaker 1: and undecided. And as I watched the change, my own
• 1:15:42
  Speaker 1: spirit fluttered and struggled, trying hard to tear itself from
• 1:15:46
  Speaker 1: the grip which held it, a grip which from moment
• 1:15:49
  Speaker 1: to moment grew less secure. Austin, she whispered, I have
• 1:15:54
  Speaker 1: tried to do too much. I was not strong enough.
• 1:15:58
  Speaker 1: I have not recovered yet from my illness, but I
• 1:16:01
  Speaker 1: could not live longer without seeing you. You won't leave me, Austin.
• 1:16:07
  Speaker 1: This is only a passing weakness. If you will only
• 1:16:10
  Speaker 1: give me five minutes, I shall be myself again. Give
• 1:16:14
  Speaker 1: me the small decanter from the table in the window.
• 1:16:18
  Speaker 1: But I had regained my soul with her waning strength.
• 1:16:22
  Speaker 1: The influence had cleared away from me and left me free.
• 1:16:26
  Speaker 1: And I was aggressive, bitterly, fiercely aggressive. For once, at
• 1:16:31
  Speaker 1: least I could make this woman understand what my real
• 1:16:34
  Speaker 1: feelings toward her were. My soul was filled with a
• 1:16:38
  Speaker 1: hatred as bestial as the love against which it was
• 1:16:41
  Speaker 1: a reaction. It was the savage, murderous passion of the
• 1:16:46
  Speaker 1: revolted serf. I could have taken the crutch from her
• 1:16:50
  Speaker 1: side and beaten her face in with it. She threw
• 1:16:54
  Speaker 1: her hands up as if to avoid a blow, and
• 1:16:57
  Speaker 1: powered away from me into the corner of the settee.
• 1:17:00
  Speaker 1: The brandy she gasped the brandy. I took the decanter
• 1:17:05
  Speaker 1: and poured it over the roots of a palm in
• 1:17:07
  Speaker 1: the window. Then I snatched the photograph from her hand
• 1:17:11
  Speaker 1: and tore it into a hundred pieces. You vile woman,
• 1:17:15
  Speaker 1: I said, if I did my duty to society, you
• 1:17:18
  Speaker 1: would never leave this room alive. I love you, Austin,
• 1:17:23
  Speaker 1: I love you, she wailed, Yes, I cried, and Charles
• 1:17:27
  Speaker 1: Sadler before and how many others before that? Charles Sadler,
• 1:17:33
  Speaker 1: She gasped, Has he spoken to you so? Charles Sadler,
• 1:17:40
  Speaker 1: Charles Sadler. Her voice came through her white lips like
• 1:17:44
  Speaker 1: a snake's hiss. Yes, I know you, and others shall
• 1:17:49
  Speaker 1: know you too, You shameless creature. You knew how I stood,
• 1:17:53
  Speaker 1: and yet you used your vile power to bring me
• 1:17:56
  Speaker 1: to your side. You may perhaps do so again, but
• 1:18:00
  Speaker 1: at least you will remember that you have heard me
• 1:18:02
  Speaker 1: say that I love miss Martin from the bottom of
• 1:18:04
  Speaker 1: my soul, and that I loathe you, abhor you. The
• 1:18:10
  Speaker 1: very sight of you and the sound of your voice
• 1:18:12
  Speaker 1: fill me with horror and disgust. The thought of you
• 1:18:16
  Speaker 1: is repulsive. That is how I feel towards you. And
• 1:18:19
  Speaker 1: if it pleases you by your tricks to draw me
• 1:18:22
  Speaker 1: again to your side, as you have done tonight, you will,
• 1:18:25
  Speaker 1: at least, I should think, have a little satisfaction in
• 1:18:28
  Speaker 1: trying to make a lover out of a man who
• 1:18:30
  Speaker 1: has told you his real opinion of you. You may
• 1:18:33
  Speaker 1: put what words you will into my mouth, but you
• 1:18:36
  Speaker 1: cannot help remembering I stopped for the woman's head had
• 1:18:42
  Speaker 1: fallen back, and she had fainted. She could not bear
• 1:18:45
  Speaker 1: to hear what I had to say to her. What
• 1:18:48
  Speaker 1: a glow of satisfaction. It gives me to think that
• 1:18:51
  Speaker 1: come what may, in the future, she can never misunderstand
• 1:18:54
  Speaker 1: my true feeling toward her. But what will occur in
• 1:18:58
  Speaker 1: the future, What will she do next? I dare not
• 1:19:01
  Speaker 1: think of it. Oh, if only I could hope that
• 1:19:04
  Speaker 1: she will leave me alone. But when I think of
• 1:19:07
  Speaker 1: what I said to her, never mind. I have been
• 1:19:11
  Speaker 1: stronger than she for once. April eleven, I hardly slept
• 1:19:18
  Speaker 1: last night, and found myself in the morning so unstrung
• 1:19:21
  Speaker 1: and feverish that I was compelled to ask Pratt Haldane
• 1:19:24
  Speaker 1: to do my lecture for me. It is the first
• 1:19:27
  Speaker 1: that I have ever missed. I rose at midday, but
• 1:19:31
  Speaker 1: my head is aching, my hands quivering, and my nerves
• 1:19:35
  Speaker 1: in a pitiable state. Who should come round this evening
• 1:19:39
  Speaker 1: but Wilson. He has just come back from London, where
• 1:19:42
  Speaker 1: he has lectured, read papers, convened meetings, exposed medium, conducted
• 1:19:48
  Speaker 1: a series of experiments on thought transference entertained Professor Rochet
• 1:19:54
  Speaker 1: of Paris spent hours gazing into a crystal and obtained
• 1:19:59
  Speaker 1: some evidence at as to the passage of matter through matter.
• 1:20:03
  Speaker 1: All this he poured into my ears and a single gust.
• 1:20:07
  Speaker 1: But you, he cried at last, You are not looking well,
• 1:20:10
  Speaker 1: and miss Pinclosa is quite prostrated today. How about the experiments?
• 1:20:16
  Speaker 1: I have abandoned them? Tut tut. Why the subject seems
• 1:20:21
  Speaker 1: to me to be a dangerous one? Out came his
• 1:20:24
  Speaker 1: big brown note book. This is of great interest, said he.
• 1:20:29
  Speaker 1: What are your grounds for saying that it is a
• 1:20:31
  Speaker 1: dangerous one? Please give your facts in chronological order, with
• 1:20:36
  Speaker 1: approximate dates, and names of reliable witnesses with their permanent addresses.
• 1:20:42
  Speaker 1: First of all, I asked, would you tell me whether
• 1:20:46
  Speaker 1: you have collected any cases where the mesmerist has gained
• 1:20:49
  Speaker 1: a command over the subject and has used it for
• 1:20:51
  Speaker 1: evil purposes? Dozens, he cried, exultantly. Crime by suggestion. I
• 1:20:57
  Speaker 1: don't mean suggestion, I mean where a sudden impulse comes
• 1:21:01
  Speaker 1: from a person at a distance, an uncontrollable impulse obsession,
• 1:21:07
  Speaker 1: he shrieked, in an ecstasy of delight. It is the
• 1:21:11
  Speaker 1: rarest condition. We have eight cases, five well attested. You
• 1:21:16
  Speaker 1: don't mean to say His exultation made him hardly articulate. No,
• 1:21:23
  Speaker 1: I don't said I good evening. You will excuse me,
• 1:21:27
  Speaker 1: But I am not very well tonight. And so at
• 1:21:30
  Speaker 1: last I got rid of him, still brandishing his pencil
• 1:21:32
  Speaker 1: and his note book. My troubles may be bad to hear,
• 1:21:37
  Speaker 1: but at least it is better to hug them myself
• 1:21:39
  Speaker 1: than to have myself exhibited by Wilson. Like a freak
• 1:21:43
  Speaker 1: at affair. He has lost sight of human beings. Everything
• 1:21:47
  Speaker 1: to him is a case and a phenomenon. I will
• 1:21:51
  Speaker 1: die before I speak to him again upon the matter.
• 1:21:56
  Speaker 1: April twelve yesterday was a blessed day of quiet, and
• 1:22:01
  Speaker 1: I enjoyed an uneventful night. Wilson's presence is a great consolation.
• 1:22:07
  Speaker 1: What can the woman do now? Surely, when she has
• 1:22:10
  Speaker 1: heard me say what I have said, she will conceive
• 1:22:13
  Speaker 1: the same disgust for me which I have for her.
• 1:22:17
  Speaker 1: She could not know, she could not desire to have
• 1:22:20
  Speaker 1: a lover who had insulted her. No, I believe I
• 1:22:24
  Speaker 1: am free from her love, But how about her hate?
• 1:22:29
  Speaker 1: Might she not use these powers of hers for revenge? Tut?
• 1:22:34
  Speaker 1: Why should I frighten myself over shadows? She will forget
• 1:22:38
  Speaker 1: about me, and I shall forget about her, and all
• 1:22:41
  Speaker 1: will be well. April thirteen. My nerves have quite recovered
• 1:22:46
  Speaker 1: their tone. I really believe that I have conquered the creature,
• 1:22:50
  Speaker 1: but I must confess to living in some suspense. She
• 1:22:54
  Speaker 1: is well again, for I hear that she was driving
• 1:22:56
  Speaker 1: with Miss Wilson in High Street in the afternoon April fourteen.
• 1:23:03
  Speaker 1: I do wish I could get away from the place altogether.
• 1:23:07
  Speaker 1: I shall fly to Agatha's side the very day that
• 1:23:10
  Speaker 1: the term closes. I suppose it is pitiably weak of me,
• 1:23:14
  Speaker 1: but this woman gets upon my nerves most terribly. I
• 1:23:18
  Speaker 1: have seen her again, and I have spoken with her.
• 1:23:21
  Speaker 1: It was just after lunch, and I was smoking a
• 1:23:23
  Speaker 1: cigarette in my study when I heard the step of
• 1:23:26
  Speaker 1: my servant Murray in the passage. I was languidly conscious
• 1:23:30
  Speaker 1: that a second step was audible behind, and had hardly
• 1:23:34
  Speaker 1: troubled myself to speculate who it might be, when suddenly
• 1:23:38
  Speaker 1: a slight noise brought me out of my chair, with
• 1:23:41
  Speaker 1: my skin creeping with apprehension. I had never particularly observed
• 1:23:47
  Speaker 1: before what sort of sound the tapping of a crutch was,
• 1:23:51
  Speaker 1: but my quivering nerves told me that I heard it now.
• 1:23:54
  Speaker 1: In the sharp wooden clack, which alternated with the muffled
• 1:23:57
  Speaker 1: thud of the footfall another instant, and my servant had
• 1:24:01
  Speaker 1: shown her in. I did not attempt the usual conventions
• 1:24:06
  Speaker 1: of society, nor did she. I simply stood with the
• 1:24:10
  Speaker 1: smoldering cigarette in my hand and gazed at her. She,
• 1:24:15
  Speaker 1: in her turn, looked silently at me. And at her
• 1:24:19
  Speaker 1: look I remembered how in these very pages I had
• 1:24:22
  Speaker 1: tried to define the expression of her eyes, whether they
• 1:24:25
  Speaker 1: were furtive or fierce. To day they were fierce, coldly
• 1:24:31
  Speaker 1: and inexorably. So well, she said at last, are you
• 1:24:37
  Speaker 1: still of the same mind as when I saw you last?
• 1:24:41
  Speaker 1: I have always been of the same mind. Let us
• 1:24:46
  Speaker 1: understand each other, Professor Gilroy said she slowly. I am
• 1:24:51
  Speaker 1: not a very safe person to trifle with. As you
• 1:24:53
  Speaker 1: should realize by now. It was you who asked me
• 1:24:57
  Speaker 1: to enter into a series of experiments with you. You.
• 1:25:01
  Speaker 1: It was you who won my affections. It was you
• 1:25:04
  Speaker 1: who professed your love for me. It was you who
• 1:25:07
  Speaker 1: brought me your own photograph with words of affection upon it.
• 1:25:11
  Speaker 1: And finally, it was you who, on the very same evening,
• 1:25:14
  Speaker 1: thought fit to insult me most outrageously addressing me as
• 1:25:18
  Speaker 1: no man has ever dared to speak to me. Yet,
• 1:25:23
  Speaker 1: tell me that those words came from you in a
• 1:25:25
  Speaker 1: moment of passion, and I am prepared to forget and
• 1:25:28
  Speaker 1: to forgive them. You did not mean what you said, Austin.
• 1:25:33
  Speaker 1: You do not really hate me. I might have pitied
• 1:25:37
  Speaker 1: this deformed woman, such a longing for love broke suddenly
• 1:25:41
  Speaker 1: through the menace of her eyes. But then I thought
• 1:25:45
  Speaker 1: of what I had gone through, and my heart set
• 1:25:47
  Speaker 1: like flint. If ever you heard me speak of love,
• 1:25:51
  Speaker 1: said I. You know very well that it was your
• 1:25:54
  Speaker 1: voice which spoke, and not mine. The only words of
• 1:25:58
  Speaker 1: truth which I have ever been able to say to
• 1:26:00
  Speaker 1: you are those which you heard when you last met me.
• 1:26:05
  Speaker 1: I know someone has set you against me. It was he.
• 1:26:11
  Speaker 1: She tapped with her crutch upon the floor. Well, you
• 1:26:14
  Speaker 1: know very well that I could bring you this instant,
• 1:26:16
  Speaker 1: crouching like a spaniel, to my feet. You will not
• 1:26:20
  Speaker 1: find me again in the hour of in my hour
• 1:26:22
  Speaker 1: of weakness, when you can assult me with impunity. Have
• 1:26:26
  Speaker 1: a care what you are doing, Professor Gilroy, You stand
• 1:26:30
  Speaker 1: in a terrible position. You have not yet realized the
• 1:26:34
  Speaker 1: hold which I have upon you. I shrugged my shoulders
• 1:26:38
  Speaker 1: and turned away. Well, she said, after a pause, if
• 1:26:44
  Speaker 1: you despise my love, I must see what can be
• 1:26:47
  Speaker 1: done with fear. You smile. But the day will come
• 1:26:50
  Speaker 1: when you will come screaming to me for pardon. Yes,
• 1:26:55
  Speaker 1: you will grovel on the ground before me, proud as
• 1:26:58
  Speaker 1: you are, and you will verst the day that ever
• 1:27:01
  Speaker 1: you turn me from your best friend into your most
• 1:27:04
  Speaker 1: bitter enemy, have a care, Professor Gilroy. I saw a
• 1:27:09
  Speaker 1: white hand shaking in the air, and a face which
• 1:27:12
  Speaker 1: was scarcely human, so convulsed was it with passion. An
• 1:27:17
  Speaker 1: instant later she was gone, and I heard the quick
• 1:27:20
  Speaker 1: hobble and tap receding down the passage. But she has
• 1:27:25
  Speaker 1: left a weight upon my heart. Vague presentiments of coming
• 1:27:29
  Speaker 1: misfortune lie heavy upon me. I try in vain to
• 1:27:33
  Speaker 1: persuade myself that these are only words of empty anger.
• 1:27:38
  Speaker 1: I can remember those relentless eyes too clearly to think.
• 1:27:42
  Speaker 1: So what shall I do? Oh? What shall I do?
• 1:27:49
  Speaker 1: I am no longer master of my own soul. At
• 1:27:52
  Speaker 1: any moment, this loathsome parasite may creep into me, and
• 1:27:56
  Speaker 1: then I must tell some one of my hideous secret.
• 1:28:00
  Speaker 1: I must tell it or go mad. If I had
• 1:28:03
  Speaker 1: someone to sympathize and advise, Wilson is out of the question.
• 1:28:09
  Speaker 1: Charles Sadler would understand me only so far as his
• 1:28:12
  Speaker 1: own experience carries him. Pratt Haldane. He is a well
• 1:28:18
  Speaker 1: balanced man, a man of great common sense and resource.
• 1:28:22
  Speaker 1: I will go to him. I will tell him everything.
• 1:28:25
  Speaker 1: God grant that he may be able to advise me.
• 1:28:36
  Speaker 1: End of chapter three. The Parasite by Sir Arthur Conan Doyle.
• 1:28:58
  Speaker 1: This is a LibriVox recording. All LibriVox recordings are in
• 1:29:02
  Speaker 1: the public domain. For more information or to volunteer, please
• 1:29:08
  Speaker 1: visit LibriVox dot org. The Parasite a story by Sir
• 1:29:16
  Speaker 1: Arthur Conan Doyle, Chapter four, six forty five PM. No,
• 1:29:24
  Speaker 1: it is useless. There is no human help for me.
• 1:29:28
  Speaker 1: I must fight this out single handed. Two courses lie
• 1:29:32
  Speaker 1: before me. I might become this woman's lover, or I
• 1:29:36
  Speaker 1: must endure such persecutions as she can inflict upon me.
• 1:29:41
  Speaker 1: Even if none come, I shall live in a hell
• 1:29:43
  Speaker 1: of apprehension. But she may torture me, she may drive
• 1:29:47
  Speaker 1: me mad, she may kill me. I will never, never,
• 1:29:53
  Speaker 1: never give in what can she inflict which would be
• 1:29:58
  Speaker 1: worse than the loss of Agatha and the knowledge that
• 1:30:01
  Speaker 1: I am a perjured liar and have forfeited the name
• 1:30:04
  Speaker 1: of a gentleman. Praddaldane was most amiable and listened with
• 1:30:10
  Speaker 1: all politeness to my story. But when I looked at
• 1:30:13
  Speaker 1: his heavy set features, his slow eyes, and the ponderous
• 1:30:16
  Speaker 1: study furniture which surrounded him, I could hardly tell him
• 1:30:20
  Speaker 1: what I had come to say. It was all so substantial,
• 1:30:24
  Speaker 1: so material. Besides, what would I myself have said a
• 1:30:29
  Speaker 1: short month ago if one of my colleagues had come
• 1:30:31
  Speaker 1: to me with a story of demonic possession. Perhaps I
• 1:30:36
  Speaker 1: should have been less patient than he was. As it was,
• 1:30:40
  Speaker 1: He took notes of my statement, asked me how much
• 1:30:43
  Speaker 1: tea I drank, how many hours I slept? Whether I
• 1:30:46
  Speaker 1: had been over working much? Had I had sudden pains
• 1:30:50
  Speaker 1: in the head, evil dreams, singing in the ears, flashes
• 1:30:54
  Speaker 1: before the eyes, All questions which pointed to his belief
• 1:30:58
  Speaker 1: that brain congestion was at the bottom of my trouble. Finally,
• 1:31:03
  Speaker 1: he dismissed me with a great many platitudes about open
• 1:31:06
  Speaker 1: air exercise and avoidance of nervous excitement. His prescription, which
• 1:31:12
  Speaker 1: was for colerool and Bromide. I rolled up and threw
• 1:31:16
  Speaker 1: into the gutter. No, I can look for no help
• 1:31:20
  Speaker 1: from any human being. If I consult any more, they
• 1:31:25
  Speaker 1: may put their heads together, and I may find myself
• 1:31:28
  Speaker 1: in an asylum. I could but grip my courage with
• 1:31:31
  Speaker 1: both hands and pray that an honest man may not
• 1:31:34
  Speaker 1: be abandoned. April ten. It is the sweetest spring within
• 1:31:42
  Speaker 1: memory of man, So green, so mild, so beautiful. Ah,
• 1:31:48
  Speaker 1: what a contrast between nature without and my own soul,
• 1:31:51
  Speaker 1: so torn with doubt and terror. It has been an
• 1:31:55
  Speaker 1: uneventful day, but I know that I'm on the edge
• 1:31:58
  Speaker 1: of an abyss. I know it, and yet I go
• 1:32:01
  Speaker 1: on with the routine of my life. The one bright
• 1:32:04
  Speaker 1: spot is that Agatha is happy and well and out
• 1:32:07
  Speaker 1: of all danger. If this creature had a hand on
• 1:32:10
  Speaker 1: each of us, what might she not do? April sixteen.
• 1:32:16
  Speaker 1: The woman is ingenious in her torments. She knows how
• 1:32:20
  Speaker 1: fond I am of my work and how highly my
• 1:32:22
  Speaker 1: lectures are thought of. So it is from that point
• 1:32:25
  Speaker 1: that she now attacks me. It will end, I can
• 1:32:28
  Speaker 1: see in my losing my professorship, but I will fight
• 1:32:32
  Speaker 1: to the finish. She shall not drive me out of
• 1:32:34
  Speaker 1: it without a struggle. I was not conscious of any
• 1:32:38
  Speaker 1: change during my lecture this morning, save that for a
• 1:32:41
  Speaker 1: minute or two I had a dizziness and swimminess, which
• 1:32:45
  Speaker 1: rapidly passed away. On the contrary, I congratulated myself upon
• 1:32:50
  Speaker 1: having made my subject, the functions of the red corpuscles,
• 1:32:54
  Speaker 1: both interesting and clearer. I was surprised, therefore, when a
• 1:32:59
  Speaker 1: student came into my laboratory immediately after the lecture and
• 1:33:03
  Speaker 1: complained of being puzzled by the discrepancy between my statements
• 1:33:06
  Speaker 1: and those in the textbooks. He showed me his note book,
• 1:33:10
  Speaker 1: in which I was reported as having, in one portion
• 1:33:13
  Speaker 1: of the lecture, championed the most outrageous and unscientific heresies.
• 1:33:19
  Speaker 1: Of course, I denied it and declared that he had
• 1:33:21
  Speaker 1: misunderstood me. But on comparing his notes with those of
• 1:33:25
  Speaker 1: his companions, it became clear that he was right, and
• 1:33:29
  Speaker 1: that I really had made some preposterous statements. Of course,
• 1:33:33
  Speaker 1: I shall explain it away as being the result of
• 1:33:35
  Speaker 1: a moment of aperration, but I feel only too sure
• 1:33:39
  Speaker 1: that it will be the first of a series. It
• 1:33:42
  Speaker 1: is but a month now to the end of the session,
• 1:33:45
  Speaker 1: and I pray that I may be able to hold
• 1:33:47
  Speaker 1: out until then. April twenty six, ten days have elapsed
• 1:33:53
  Speaker 1: since I have had the heart to make any entry
• 1:33:56
  Speaker 1: in my journal. Why should I record my own humiliation
• 1:34:00
  Speaker 1: and degradation. I had vowed never to open it again,
• 1:34:04
  Speaker 1: and yet the force of habit is strong, and here
• 1:34:07
  Speaker 1: I find myself taking up once more the record of
• 1:34:10
  Speaker 1: my own dreadful experiences, in much the same spirit in
• 1:34:14
  Speaker 1: which a suicide has been known to take notes of
• 1:34:17
  Speaker 1: the effects of the poison which killed him. Well, the
• 1:34:21
  Speaker 1: crash which I had foreseen has come, and that no
• 1:34:24
  Speaker 1: further back than yesterday, the university authorities have taken my
• 1:34:29
  Speaker 1: lectureship from me. It has been done in the most
• 1:34:32
  Speaker 1: delicate way, purporting to be a temporary measure to relieve
• 1:34:36
  Speaker 1: me from the effects of overwork and to give me
• 1:34:39
  Speaker 1: the opportunity of recovering my health. None the less, it
• 1:34:43
  Speaker 1: has been done, and I am no longer Professor Gilroy.
• 1:34:47
  Speaker 1: The laboratory is still in my charge, but I have
• 1:34:50
  Speaker 1: little doubt that that also will go soon. The fact
• 1:34:55
  Speaker 1: is that my lectures had become the laughing stock of
• 1:34:57
  Speaker 1: the university. My class was crowd with students who came
• 1:35:01
  Speaker 1: to see and hear what the eccentric professor would do
• 1:35:04
  Speaker 1: or say next. I cannot go into the detail of
• 1:35:08
  Speaker 1: my humiliation, Oh that devilish woman. There is no depth
• 1:35:13
  Speaker 1: of buffoonery and imbecility to which she has not forced me.
• 1:35:17
  Speaker 1: I would begin my lecture clearly and well, but always
• 1:35:21
  Speaker 1: with the sense of a coming eclipse. Then as I
• 1:35:24
  Speaker 1: felt the influence, I would struggle against it, striving with
• 1:35:28
  Speaker 1: clenched hands and beads of sweat upon my brow to
• 1:35:30
  Speaker 1: get the better of it, while the students, hearing my
• 1:35:33
  Speaker 1: incoherent words and watching my contortions, would roar with laughter
• 1:35:38
  Speaker 1: at the antics of their professor. And then, when she
• 1:35:42
  Speaker 1: had once fairly mastered me, out would come the most
• 1:35:45
  Speaker 1: outrageous things, silly jokes, sentiments as though I were proposing
• 1:35:51
  Speaker 1: a toast, snatches of ballads, personal abuse, even against some
• 1:35:56
  Speaker 1: member of my class. And then in a moment, my
• 1:36:00
  Speaker 1: brain would clear again, and my lecture would proceed decorously
• 1:36:03
  Speaker 1: to the end. No wonder that my conduct has been
• 1:36:06
  Speaker 1: the talk of the colleges. No wonder that the University
• 1:36:10
  Speaker 1: Senate has been compelled to take official notice of such
• 1:36:13
  Speaker 1: a scandal. Oh that devilish woman, and The most dreadful
• 1:36:18
  Speaker 1: part of it all is my own loneliness. Here I
• 1:36:21
  Speaker 1: sit in a commonplace English bow window, looking out upon
• 1:36:25
  Speaker 1: a commonplace English street, with its garish buses and its
• 1:36:30
  Speaker 1: lounging policemen, and all behind me there hangs a shadow
• 1:36:34
  Speaker 1: which is out of all keeping with the age and
• 1:36:38
  Speaker 1: place in the home of knowledge. I am weighed down
• 1:36:41
  Speaker 1: and tortured by a power of which science knows nothing.
• 1:36:45
  Speaker 1: No magistrate would listen to me, no paper would discuss
• 1:36:49
  Speaker 1: my case, no doctor would believe my symptoms. My own
• 1:36:54
  Speaker 1: most intimate friends would only look upon it as a
• 1:36:57
  Speaker 1: sign of brain derangement. I am out of all touch
• 1:37:01
  Speaker 1: with my kind. Oh, that devilish woman. Let her have
• 1:37:05
  Speaker 1: a care. She may push me too far. When the
• 1:37:09
  Speaker 1: law cannot help a man, he may make a law
• 1:37:12
  Speaker 1: for himself. She met me in High Street yesterday evening
• 1:37:15
  Speaker 1: and spoke to me. It was as well for her,
• 1:37:19
  Speaker 1: perhaps that it was not between the hedges of a
• 1:37:21
  Speaker 1: lonely country road. She asked me, with her cold smile,
• 1:37:25
  Speaker 1: whether I had been chastened. Yet I did not deign
• 1:37:29
  Speaker 1: to answer her. We must try another turn of the screw,
• 1:37:33
  Speaker 1: said she, have a care, My lady, have a care.
• 1:37:38
  Speaker 1: I had her at my mercy once. Perhaps another chance
• 1:37:41
  Speaker 1: may come. April twenty eighth. The suspension of my lectureship
• 1:37:47
  Speaker 1: has had the effect also of taking away her means
• 1:37:50
  Speaker 1: of annoying me, and so I have enjoyed two blessed
• 1:37:53
  Speaker 1: days of peace. After all, there is no reason to despair.
• 1:37:58
  Speaker 1: Sympathy pours in to me from all sides, and everyone
• 1:38:01
  Speaker 1: agrees that it is my devotion to science and the
• 1:38:04
  Speaker 1: arduous nature of my researches which have shaken my nervous system.
• 1:38:09
  Speaker 1: I have the kindest message from the Council, advising me
• 1:38:13
  Speaker 1: to travel abroad, and expressing the confident hope that I
• 1:38:16
  Speaker 1: may be able to resume all my duties by the
• 1:38:18
  Speaker 1: beginning of the summer term. Nothing could be more flattering
• 1:38:22
  Speaker 1: than their allusions to my career and to my services
• 1:38:25
  Speaker 1: to the university. It is only in misfortune that one
• 1:38:28
  Speaker 1: can test one's own popularity. This creature may weary of
• 1:38:33
  Speaker 1: tormenting me, and then all may yet be well. May
• 1:38:37
  Speaker 1: God grant it. April twenty nine, our sleepy little town
• 1:38:43
  Speaker 1: has had a small sensation. The only knowledge of crime
• 1:38:47
  Speaker 1: which we ever have is when a routing undergraduate breaks
• 1:38:51
  Speaker 1: a few lamps or comes to blows with a policeman.
• 1:38:54
  Speaker 1: Last night, however, there was an attempt made to break
• 1:38:57
  Speaker 1: into the branch of the Bank of England. We are
• 1:39:00
  Speaker 1: all in a flutter in consequence. Parkinson, the manager, is
• 1:39:04
  Speaker 1: an intimate friend of mine, and I found him very
• 1:39:07
  Speaker 1: much excited when I walked round there after breakfast. Had
• 1:39:10
  Speaker 1: the thieves broken into the counting house, they would still
• 1:39:13
  Speaker 1: have had the safes to reckon with, so that the
• 1:39:16
  Speaker 1: defense was considerably stronger than the attack. Indeed, the latter
• 1:39:20
  Speaker 1: does not appear to have ever been very formidable. Two
• 1:39:24
  Speaker 1: of the lower windows windows have marks as if a
• 1:39:28
  Speaker 1: chisel or some such instrument had been pushed under them
• 1:39:31
  Speaker 1: to force them open. The police should have good clue,
• 1:39:35
  Speaker 1: for the woodwork had been done with green paint only
• 1:39:37
  Speaker 1: the day before, and from the smears it is evident
• 1:39:40
  Speaker 1: that some of it has found its way onto the
• 1:39:42
  Speaker 1: criminal's hands or clothes. Four thirty p m Ah, that
• 1:39:48
  Speaker 1: a cursed woman, that thrice, a cursed woman. Never mind,
• 1:39:53
  Speaker 1: she shall not beat me, No she shall not. But
• 1:39:57
  Speaker 1: oh the she devil. She has taken my professorship. Now
• 1:40:01
  Speaker 1: she would take my honor. Is there nothing I can do?
• 1:40:04
  Speaker 1: Against her, nothing save Ah, but pushed hard as I am.
• 1:40:10
  Speaker 1: I cannot bring myself to think of that. It was
• 1:40:14
  Speaker 1: about an hour ago that I went into my bedroom
• 1:40:17
  Speaker 1: and was brushing my hair before the glass, when suddenly
• 1:40:19
  Speaker 1: my eyes lit upon something which left me so sick
• 1:40:22
  Speaker 1: and cold that I sat down upon the edge of
• 1:40:25
  Speaker 1: the bed and began to cry. It is many a
• 1:40:28
  Speaker 1: long year since I shed tears, but all my nerve
• 1:40:31
  Speaker 1: was gone, and I could but sob and sob in
• 1:40:34
  Speaker 1: impotent grief and anger. There was my house jacket, the
• 1:40:38
  Speaker 1: coat I usually wear after dinner, hanging on its peg
• 1:40:42
  Speaker 1: by the wardrobe, with the right sleeve thickly crusted from
• 1:40:45
  Speaker 1: wrist to elbow with daubs of green paint. So this
• 1:40:50
  Speaker 1: was what she meant, By another turn of the screw.
• 1:40:53
  Speaker 1: She had made a public imbecile of me. Now she
• 1:40:56
  Speaker 1: would brand me as a criminal. This time she is failed.
• 1:41:01
  Speaker 1: But how about the next I dare not think of it,
• 1:41:04
  Speaker 1: and of Agatha and my poor old mother. I wished
• 1:41:07
  Speaker 1: that I were dead. Yes, this is the other turn
• 1:41:12
  Speaker 1: of the screw, And this is also what she meant,
• 1:41:14
  Speaker 1: no doubt when she said that I had not realized
• 1:41:17
  Speaker 1: yet the power she has over me. I look back
• 1:41:20
  Speaker 1: at my account of my conversation with her, and I
• 1:41:23
  Speaker 1: see how she declared that with a slight exertion of
• 1:41:26
  Speaker 1: her will, her subject would be conscious, and with a
• 1:41:28
  Speaker 1: stronger one unconscious. Last night I was unconscious. I could
• 1:41:34
  Speaker 1: have sworn that I slept soundly in my bed, without
• 1:41:37
  Speaker 1: so much as a dream. And yet those stains tell
• 1:41:40
  Speaker 1: me that I dressed, made my way out, attempted to
• 1:41:44
  Speaker 1: open the bank windows and return. Was I observed? Is
• 1:41:48
  Speaker 1: it possible that someone saw me do it and followed
• 1:41:51
  Speaker 1: me home? Ah? What a hell my life has become.
• 1:41:55
  Speaker 1: I have no peace, no rest, but my patience is
• 1:41:59
  Speaker 1: nearing its en. Ten p m. I have cleaned my
• 1:42:04
  Speaker 1: coat with turpentine. I do not think that anyone could
• 1:42:07
  Speaker 1: have seen me. It was with my screwdriver that I
• 1:42:10
  Speaker 1: made the marks. I found it all crusted with paint,
• 1:42:13
  Speaker 1: and I have cleaned it. My head aches as if
• 1:42:16
  Speaker 1: it would burst. And I have taken five grains of
• 1:42:19
  Speaker 1: and to pirene. If it were not for Agatha, I
• 1:42:23
  Speaker 1: should have taken fifty and had an end of it.
• 1:42:27
  Speaker 1: May three three quiet days. This hell fiend is like
• 1:42:32
  Speaker 1: a cat with a mouse. She lets me loose only
• 1:42:35
  Speaker 1: to pounce upon me again. I am never so frightened
• 1:42:38
  Speaker 1: as when everything is still. My physical state is deplorable,
• 1:42:43
  Speaker 1: perpetual hiccough and ptosis of the left eyelid. I have
• 1:42:49
  Speaker 1: heard from the Martins that they will be back the
• 1:42:51
  Speaker 1: day after tomorrow. I do not know whether I am
• 1:42:54
  Speaker 1: glad or sorry they were safe in London. Once here,
• 1:42:58
  Speaker 1: they may be drawn into the miserable network in which
• 1:43:01
  Speaker 1: I myself am struggling, and I must tell them of it.
• 1:43:05
  Speaker 1: I cannot marry Agatha so long as I know that
• 1:43:07
  Speaker 1: I am not responsible for my own actions. Yes, I
• 1:43:11
  Speaker 1: must tell them, even if it brings everything to an
• 1:43:14
  Speaker 1: end between us. To night is the University ball, and
• 1:43:18
  Speaker 1: I must go. God knows I never felt less in
• 1:43:21
  Speaker 1: the humor for festivity. But I must not have it
• 1:43:24
  Speaker 1: said that I am unfit to appear in public. If
• 1:43:27
  Speaker 1: I am seen there and have speech with some of
• 1:43:30
  Speaker 1: the elders of the university, it will go a long
• 1:43:32
  Speaker 1: way towards showing them that it would be unjust to
• 1:43:35
  Speaker 1: take my chair away from me. Ten p m. I
• 1:43:41
  Speaker 1: have been to the ball. Charles Sadler and I went together,
• 1:43:46
  Speaker 1: but I have come away before him. I shall wait
• 1:43:49
  Speaker 1: up for him, however, for indeed I fear to go
• 1:43:52
  Speaker 1: to sleep these nights. He is a cheery, practical fellow,
• 1:43:56
  Speaker 1: and a chat with him will study my nerves. The
• 1:44:00
  Speaker 1: whole the evening was a great success. I talked to
• 1:44:03
  Speaker 1: everyone who has influence, and I think that I made
• 1:44:06
  Speaker 1: them realize that my chair is not vacant quite yet.
• 1:44:10
  Speaker 1: The creature was at the ball, unable to dance, of course,
• 1:44:13
  Speaker 1: but sitting with Miss Wilson, again and again her eyes
• 1:44:17
  Speaker 1: rested upon me. They were almost the last things I
• 1:44:21
  Speaker 1: saw before I left the room. Once, as I sat
• 1:44:25
  Speaker 1: sideways to her, I watched her and saw that her
• 1:44:28
  Speaker 1: gaze was following someone else. It was Sadler, who was
• 1:44:32
  Speaker 1: dancing at the time with the second Miss Thurston. To
• 1:44:36
  Speaker 1: judge by her expression, it is well for him that
• 1:44:39
  Speaker 1: he is not in her grip as I am. He
• 1:44:42
  Speaker 1: does not know the escape he has had. I think
• 1:44:45
  Speaker 1: I hear his step in the street now, and I
• 1:44:47
  Speaker 1: will go down and let him in if he will.
• 1:44:51
  Speaker 1: May four, Why did I break off in this way
• 1:44:54
  Speaker 1: last night? I never went downstairs after all, at least
• 1:44:59
  Speaker 1: I have no recollection of doing so. But on the
• 1:45:01
  Speaker 1: other hand, I cannot remember going to bed. One of
• 1:45:05
  Speaker 1: my hands is greatly swollen this morning, and yet I
• 1:45:07
  Speaker 1: have no remembrance of injuring it yesterday. Otherwise, I am
• 1:45:11
  Speaker 1: feeling all the better for last night's festivity. But I
• 1:45:15
  Speaker 1: cannot understand how it is that I did not meet
• 1:45:18
  Speaker 1: Charles Sadler when I so fully intended to do so.
• 1:45:22
  Speaker 1: Is it possible, my God, it is only too probable.
• 1:45:26
  Speaker 1: Has she been leading me some devil's dance again? I
• 1:45:30
  Speaker 1: will go down to Sadler and ask him midday. The
• 1:45:34
  Speaker 1: thing has come to a crisis. My life is not
• 1:45:37
  Speaker 1: worth living. But if I am to die, then she
• 1:45:41
  Speaker 1: shall come also. I will not leave her behind to
• 1:45:44
  Speaker 1: drive some other man mad as she has me. No,
• 1:45:48
  Speaker 1: I have come to the limit of my endurance. She
• 1:45:50
  Speaker 1: has made me as desperate and dangerous a man as
• 1:45:53
  Speaker 1: walks the earth. God knows I have never had the
• 1:45:57
  Speaker 1: heart to hurt a fly. And yet if I had
• 1:46:00
  Speaker 1: my hands upon that woman, she should never leave this
• 1:46:03
  Speaker 1: room alive. I shall see her this very day. She
• 1:46:07
  Speaker 1: shall learn what she has to expect from me. I
• 1:46:11
  Speaker 1: went to Sadler and found him, to my surprise, in bed.
• 1:46:15
  Speaker 1: As I entered, he sat up and turned a face
• 1:46:17
  Speaker 1: toward me, which sickened me as I looked at it. Why, sadler,
• 1:46:20
  Speaker 1: what has happened? I cried? But my heart turned cold
• 1:46:24
  Speaker 1: as I said it. Gilroy, he answered, mumbling with his
• 1:46:29
  Speaker 1: swollen lips. I have for some weeks been under the
• 1:46:32
  Speaker 1: impression that you are a madman. Now I know it,
• 1:46:36
  Speaker 1: and that you are a dangerous one as well. If
• 1:46:39
  Speaker 1: it were not that I am unwilling to make a
• 1:46:40
  Speaker 1: scandal in the college, you would now be in the
• 1:46:43
  Speaker 1: hands of the police. Do you mean, I cried, I
• 1:46:48
  Speaker 1: mean that as I opened the door last night, you
• 1:46:51
  Speaker 1: rushed out upon me, struck me with both your fists
• 1:46:54
  Speaker 1: in the face, knocked me down, kicked me furiously in
• 1:46:58
  Speaker 1: the side, and left me lying almost unconscious in the street.
• 1:47:02
  Speaker 1: Look at your own hand, bearing witness against you. Yes,
• 1:47:06
  Speaker 1: there it was puffed up with sponge like knuckles after
• 1:47:10
  Speaker 1: some terrific blow. What could I do? Though he put
• 1:47:14
  Speaker 1: me down as a madman, I must tell him all.
• 1:47:17
  Speaker 1: I sat by his bed and went over all my
• 1:47:20
  Speaker 1: troubles from the beginning. I poured them out with quivering
• 1:47:24
  Speaker 1: hands and burning words which might have carried conviction to
• 1:47:27
  Speaker 1: the most skeptical. She hates you, and she hates me,
• 1:47:31
  Speaker 1: I cried. She revenged herself last night on both of
• 1:47:35
  Speaker 1: us at once. She saw me leave the ball, and
• 1:47:38
  Speaker 1: she must have seen you also. She knew how long
• 1:47:41
  Speaker 1: it would take you to reach home. Then she had
• 1:47:43
  Speaker 1: but to use her wicked will Ah, your bruised face
• 1:47:47
  Speaker 1: is a small thing beside my bruised soul. He was
• 1:47:52
  Speaker 1: struck by my story. That was evident. Yes, yes, she
• 1:47:56
  Speaker 1: watched me out of the room, he muttered, she is
• 1:47:59
  Speaker 1: capable of it. But is it possible that she has
• 1:48:02
  Speaker 1: really reduced you to this? What do you intend to
• 1:48:05
  Speaker 1: do to stop it? I cried, I am perfectly desperate.
• 1:48:10
  Speaker 1: I shall give her fair warning to day, and the
• 1:48:12
  Speaker 1: next time will be the last. Do nothing, rash said
• 1:48:16
  Speaker 1: he rash, I cried. The only rash thing is that
• 1:48:20
  Speaker 1: I should postpone it another hour. With that, I rushed
• 1:48:24
  Speaker 1: to my room, And here I am, on the eve
• 1:48:26
  Speaker 1: of what may be the great crisis of my life.
• 1:48:29
  Speaker 1: I shall start at once. I have gained one thing
• 1:48:32
  Speaker 1: to day, for I have made one man at least
• 1:48:34
  Speaker 1: realize the truth of this monstrous experience of mine. And
• 1:48:38
  Speaker 1: if the worst should happen, this diary remains as a
• 1:48:41
  Speaker 1: proof of the God that has driven me. Evening, when
• 1:48:46
  Speaker 1: I came to Wilson's, I was shown up and found
• 1:48:49
  Speaker 1: that he was sitting with Miss Penclosa. For half an hour,
• 1:48:52
  Speaker 1: I had to endure his fussy talk about his recent
• 1:48:55
  Speaker 1: research into the exact nature of this spiritualistic rap while
• 1:48:59
  Speaker 1: the creature and I sat in silence, looking across the
• 1:49:02
  Speaker 1: room at each other. I read a sinister amusement into
• 1:49:05
  Speaker 1: her eyes, and she must have seen hatred and menace
• 1:49:08
  Speaker 1: in mine. I had almost despaired of having speech with
• 1:49:11
  Speaker 1: her when he was called from the room and we
• 1:49:13
  Speaker 1: were left for a few moments together. Well, Professor Gilroy,
• 1:49:19
  Speaker 1: or is it mister Gilroy, said she, with that bitter
• 1:49:23
  Speaker 1: smile of hers, How is your friend, mister Charles Sadler?
• 1:49:27
  Speaker 1: After the ball, you fiend, I cried, you have come
• 1:49:31
  Speaker 1: to the end of your tricks. Now I will have
• 1:49:34
  Speaker 1: no more of them. Listen to what I say. I
• 1:49:37
  Speaker 1: strode across and shook her roughly by the shoulder. As
• 1:49:41
  Speaker 1: sure as there is a God in heaven, I swear
• 1:49:44
  Speaker 1: that if you try another of your deviltries upon me,
• 1:49:46
  Speaker 1: I will have your life for it. Come what may,
• 1:49:50
  Speaker 1: I will have your life. I have come to an
• 1:49:52
  Speaker 1: end of what a man can endure. Accounts are not
• 1:49:56
  Speaker 1: quite settled between us, said she, with a passion that
• 1:50:00
  Speaker 1: equaled my own. I can love and I can hate.
• 1:50:04
  Speaker 1: You had your choice. You chose to spurn the first.
• 1:50:08
  Speaker 1: Now you must test the other. It will take a
• 1:50:11
  Speaker 1: little more to break your spirit, I see, but broken
• 1:50:14
  Speaker 1: it shall be. Miss Marden comes back tomorrow. As I
• 1:50:18
  Speaker 1: understand what has that to do with you, I cried,
• 1:50:22
  Speaker 1: it is a pollution that you should dare even to
• 1:50:25
  Speaker 1: think of her. If I thought that you would harm her.
• 1:50:29
  Speaker 1: She was frightened, I could see. Though she tried to
• 1:50:32
  Speaker 1: brazen it out, she read the black thought in my
• 1:50:35
  Speaker 1: mind and cowered away from me. She is fortunate in
• 1:50:39
  Speaker 1: having such a champion, said she. He actually dares to
• 1:50:43
  Speaker 1: threaten a lonely woman. I must really congratulate Miss Marden.
• 1:50:47
  Speaker 1: Upon her protector. The words were bitter, but the voice
• 1:50:52
  Speaker 1: and manner were more acid. Still, there is no use talking,
• 1:50:56
  Speaker 1: said I. I only came here to tell you, and
• 1:50:59
  Speaker 1: to tell you most solemnly, that your next outrage upon
• 1:51:03
  Speaker 1: me will be your last. With that, as I heard
• 1:51:06
  Speaker 1: Wilson's step upon the stair, I walked from the room.
• 1:51:10
  Speaker 1: Ay She may look venomous and deadly, but for all that,
• 1:51:14
  Speaker 1: she is beginning to see now that she has as
• 1:51:17
  Speaker 1: much to fear from me as I can have to
• 1:51:19
  Speaker 1: fear from her. Murder It has an ugly sound, but
• 1:51:24
  Speaker 1: you don't talk of murdering a snake or of murdering
• 1:51:27
  Speaker 1: a tiger. Let her have a care now. May five,
• 1:51:35
  Speaker 1: I met Agatha and her mother at the station at
• 1:51:37
  Speaker 1: eleven o'clock. She is looking so bright, so happy, so beautiful,
• 1:51:43
  Speaker 1: and she was so overjoyed to see me. What have
• 1:51:45
  Speaker 1: I done to deserve such love? I went back home
• 1:51:49
  Speaker 1: with them and we lunched together. All the troubles seem,
• 1:51:52
  Speaker 1: in a moment, to have been shredded back from my life.
• 1:51:55
  Speaker 1: She tells me that I am looking pale and worried
• 1:51:58
  Speaker 1: and ill. Dear child puts it down to my loneliness
• 1:52:02
  Speaker 1: and the perfunctory attentions of a housekeeper. I pray that
• 1:52:06
  Speaker 1: she may never know the truth. May the shadow, if
• 1:52:10
  Speaker 1: shadow there must be, lie ever black across my life,
• 1:52:14
  Speaker 1: and leave hers in the sunshine. I have just come
• 1:52:17
  Speaker 1: back from them feeling a new man. With her by
• 1:52:20
  Speaker 1: my side, I think that I could show a bold
• 1:52:22
  Speaker 1: face to anything which life might send five p m. Now,
• 1:52:28
  Speaker 1: let me try to be accurate. Let me try to
• 1:52:31
  Speaker 1: say exactly how it occurred. It is fresh in my mind,
• 1:52:34
  Speaker 1: and I can set it down correctly, though it is
• 1:52:37
  Speaker 1: not likely that the time will ever come when I
• 1:52:39
  Speaker 1: shall forget the doings of today. I had returned from
• 1:52:43
  Speaker 1: the Martins after lunch and was cutting some microscopic sections
• 1:52:47
  Speaker 1: in my freezing microtome, when in an instant I lost consciousness,
• 1:52:51
  Speaker 1: in the sudden, hateful fashion which has become only too
• 1:52:53
  Speaker 1: familiar to me of late. When my senses came back
• 1:52:57
  Speaker 1: to me, I was sitting in a small chamber very
• 1:53:00
  Speaker 1: different from the one in which I had been working.
• 1:53:03
  Speaker 1: It was cozy and bright, with chintz covered settees, colored
• 1:53:06
  Speaker 1: hangings in a thousand little pretty trifles on the wall.
• 1:53:10
  Speaker 1: A small ornamental clock ticked in front of me, and
• 1:53:13
  Speaker 1: the hands pointed to half past three. It was all
• 1:53:17
  Speaker 1: quite familiar to me, and yet I stared about for
• 1:53:19
  Speaker 1: a moment in a half dazed way, until my eyes
• 1:53:22
  Speaker 1: fell upon a cabinet photograph of myself upon the top
• 1:53:26
  Speaker 1: of the piano. On the other side stood one of
• 1:53:29
  Speaker 1: Miss Marden. Then, of course I remembered where I was.
• 1:53:33
  Speaker 1: It was Agatha's boudoir. But how came I there? And
• 1:53:37
  Speaker 1: what did I want? A horrible sinking came to my heart.
• 1:53:42
  Speaker 1: Had I been sent here on some devilish errand had
• 1:53:45
  Speaker 1: that errand already been done? Surely it must otherwise? Why
• 1:53:49
  Speaker 1: should I be allowed to come back to consciousness? Oh
• 1:53:53
  Speaker 1: the agony of that moment? What had I done? I
• 1:53:56
  Speaker 1: sprang to my feet in despair, And as I did so,
• 1:53:59
  Speaker 1: a small glass bottle fell from my knees on to
• 1:54:02
  Speaker 1: the carpet. It was unbroken, and I picked it up.
• 1:54:06
  Speaker 1: Outside was written sulfuric acid fort When I drew the
• 1:54:12
  Speaker 1: round glass stopper, a thick fume rose slowly up, and
• 1:54:16
  Speaker 1: a pungent, choking smell pervaded the room. I recognized it
• 1:54:21
  Speaker 1: as one which I kept for chemical testing in my chambers.
• 1:54:24
  Speaker 1: But why had I brought a bottle of vitriol into
• 1:54:27
  Speaker 1: Agatha's chamber? Was it not this thick, reeking liquid with
• 1:54:31
  Speaker 1: which jealous women have been known to mar the beauty
• 1:54:34
  Speaker 1: of their rivals. My heart stood still as I held
• 1:54:38
  Speaker 1: the bottle to the light. Thank God, it was full.
• 1:54:42
  Speaker 1: No mischief had been done as yet. But had Agatha
• 1:54:45
  Speaker 1: come in a minute sooner. Was it not certain that
• 1:54:48
  Speaker 1: the hellish parasite within me would have dashed the stuff
• 1:54:51
  Speaker 1: into her? Ah, it will not bear to be thought of,
• 1:54:55
  Speaker 1: But it must have been for that. Why else should
• 1:54:58
  Speaker 1: I have brought it. At the thought of what I
• 1:55:00
  Speaker 1: might have done, my worn nerves broke down, and I
• 1:55:04
  Speaker 1: sat shivering and twitching, the pitiable wreck of a man.
• 1:55:08
  Speaker 1: It was the sound of Agatha's voice and the rustle
• 1:55:11
  Speaker 1: of her dress which restored me. I looked up and
• 1:55:13
  Speaker 1: saw her blue eyes so full of tenderness and pity,
• 1:55:17
  Speaker 1: gazing down at me. We must take you away to
• 1:55:20
  Speaker 1: the country Austin, she said, you want rest and quiet.
• 1:55:24
  Speaker 1: You look wretchedly ill. Oh it is nothing, said I,
• 1:55:28
  Speaker 1: trying to smile. It was only a momentary weakness. I
• 1:55:31
  Speaker 1: am all right now again. I am so sorry to
• 1:55:34
  Speaker 1: keep you waiting. Poor boy, you must have been here
• 1:55:37
  Speaker 1: quite half an hour. The vicar was in the drawing room,
• 1:55:40
  Speaker 1: and as I knew that you did not care for him,
• 1:55:43
  Speaker 1: I thought it better that Jane should show you up here.
• 1:55:46
  Speaker 1: I thought the man would never go. Thank God he stayed.
• 1:55:50
  Speaker 1: Thank God he stayed. I cried hysterically. Why what is
• 1:55:56
  Speaker 1: the matter? With you, Austin, she asked, holding my arm
• 1:55:59
  Speaker 1: as I staggered up from the chair. Why are you
• 1:56:01
  Speaker 1: glad that the vicars stayed? And what is this little
• 1:56:05
  Speaker 1: bottle in your hand? Nothing, I cried, thrusting it into
• 1:56:08
  Speaker 1: my pocket. But I must go. I have something important
• 1:56:11
  Speaker 1: to do. How stern you look, Austin, I have never
• 1:56:15
  Speaker 1: seen your face like that. You are angry. Yes, I
• 1:56:19
  Speaker 1: am angry, but not with me. No, no, my darling,
• 1:56:25
  Speaker 1: you would not understand. But you have not told me
• 1:56:28
  Speaker 1: why you came. I came to ask you whether you
• 1:56:31
  Speaker 1: would always love me, no matter what I did, or
• 1:56:34
  Speaker 1: what shadow might fall on my name. Would you believe
• 1:56:37
  Speaker 1: in me and trust me, however black appearances might be
• 1:56:40
  Speaker 1: against me? You know that I would, Austin, Yes, I
• 1:56:45
  Speaker 1: know that you would. What I do I shall do
• 1:56:47
  Speaker 1: for you. I am driven to it. There is no
• 1:56:50
  Speaker 1: other way out, my darling. I kissed her and rushed
• 1:56:54
  Speaker 1: from the room. The time for indecision was at an end.
• 1:56:57
  Speaker 1: As long as the creature threatened my own price aspects
• 1:57:00
  Speaker 1: in my honor, there might be a question as to
• 1:57:02
  Speaker 1: what I should do. But now, when Agatha, my innocent Agatha,
• 1:57:07
  Speaker 1: was endangered, my duty lay before me, like a turnpike road.
• 1:57:11
  Speaker 1: I had no weapon, but I never paused for that.
• 1:57:15
  Speaker 1: What weapon should I need? When I felt every muscle
• 1:57:17
  Speaker 1: quivering with the strength of a frenzied man, I ran
• 1:57:21
  Speaker 1: through the streets, so set upon what I had to
• 1:57:24
  Speaker 1: do that I was only dimly conscious of the faces
• 1:57:27
  Speaker 1: of friends whom I met. Dimly conscious also that Professor
• 1:57:31
  Speaker 1: Wilson met me, running with equal precipitates in the opposite direction.
• 1:57:36
  Speaker 1: Breathless but resolute, I reached the house and rang the bell.
• 1:57:40
  Speaker 1: A white cheeked maid opened the door and turned whiter.
• 1:57:43
  Speaker 1: Yet when she saw the face that looked in at her,
• 1:57:47
  Speaker 1: show me up at once to miss Pinclosa, I demanded, sir.
• 1:57:51
  Speaker 1: She gasped. Miss Pinclosa died this afternoon at half past three.
• 1:57:59
  Speaker 1: In of chapter four and of the story The Parasite
• 1:58:05
  Speaker 1: by Sir Arthur Conan Doyle,