Latest / The Hannah Hammond Show / Mental Health Expert Proves Your Brain Lies and How to Fix It - Bizzie Gold

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Mental Health Expert Proves Your Brain Lies and How to Fix It - Bizzie Gold · The Hannah Hammond Show

• 0:00
  Welcome back to the Hannah Heaven show.
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  I am sitting here today with Busy Gold, who is a mental
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  health disruptor and innovator nationally.
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  And she just launched her new book 2 days ago called Your
• 0:11
  Brain is a Filthy Liar. And thank you so much for coming
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  on the show. I'm super excited for you to be
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  here to learn all about your book.
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  And this has a very profound importance and meaning to me
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  because I've been on this healing journey over my whole
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  life, really. But really the past few years of
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  growth and deciding I wasn't going to keep repeated the same
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  patterns I'd always been repeating and just trying to
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  figure out like how that looks. And I'm actually about to do a
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  talk and they're like, OK, well, what are the three steps to
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  healing? I'm like, I don't really know
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  how to put it into three steps. So I'm super excited to hear
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  because I know you kind of disrupt and counteract or argue
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  traditional therapy and healing methods.
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  And yeah, so thanks for being here today.
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  Thank you so much. Yeah, I've been excited for this
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  for a while. We have a lot of mutual friends,
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  so I've actually kind of followed you in your orbit for a
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  while. So I'm excited that we get to be
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  here right after my book launch. Me too.
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  I know I was following you before Andy reached out to get
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  on the the schedule, the podcast too.
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  So it's really cool. I just think you're awesome and
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  it's nice to meet another female, you know, entrepreneur
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  out here doing the thing and making a difference in the
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  world. So.
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  And I have some insights on to why you've been able to do it,
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  but it's challenging for you to break down the steps.
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  So I will, I'll give some insight to that because I, one
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  of the things that we do in my work with brain pattern mapping
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  is we can understand what childhood inputs generate the
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  output of brain pattern. And I've done a, a decent amount
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  of work looking at the correlation between brain
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  pattern and career or job placement.
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  And you're obviously an entrepreneur.
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  And in general, entrepreneurs tend to have a higher level of
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  self-awareness and ability to be productively self critical.
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  So that's one of the reasons that you've been able to see it,
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  but now you're like, how did how did I do it?
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  It just happened because it's actually part of how you were
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  patterned. That makes a lot of sense.
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  And yeah, that awareness is, and you talk a lot about awareness
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  and we'll get into that. But the awareness, I believe,
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  and you may believe otherwise, but I believe that was the first
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  step for me to even know that I was repeating the same thing
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  over and over or sabotaging my life or attracting toxic
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  outcomes in my life. But the awareness itself doesn't
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  fix it, right? You have to do the work to
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  actually change and rewire your brain.
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  So first, before we dive into the book and some of your
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  strategies and your break method that you teach to help people
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  heal and you bring a neuroscience and data-driven
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  approach to healing versus the traditional.
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  Let's just talk about it for the next 30 years approach and and
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  just continue to be in your feelings and not really change
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  anything. So what specific event or
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  incident in your life LED you to get into the mental health and
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  healing and and neuroscience and psychology space?
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  I think all of it started in childhood, as it does for many
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  of us. I grew up with a mom who
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  struggled with borderline personality disorder.
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  And for those that are listening or watching that might not know
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  what that is or how it shows up. It typically shows up where
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  there is the experience of feeling targeted by your parent
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  and you're not really sure what the rules or the structure is.
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  And sometimes you step on a landmine and sometimes you
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  don't. So you don't learn how to really
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  learn the rules of how to exist in your world because somebody
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  so emotionally dysregulated that they could snap on you in a very
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  hateful way at any moment because it's really what's
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  happening in their mind rather than what's unfolding in
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  reality. So that definitely set the stage
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  for me in those early childhood years.
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  And I grew up so aware of the situation that it was hard for
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  me when my mom wouldn't take any ownership.
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  And like, how could you? How could you not see what just
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  happened? And her story would always be so
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  drastically opposite of everybody else.
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  So for many years, I kind of just felt like she was punking
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  me. Like she obviously she has to
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  know she's just got it. Like, this is gaslighting,
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  right? She's got to know that she's
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  distorting a narrative of something that never actually
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  took place. But it really wasn't until I was
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  watching Movie Fight Club when I was 13.
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  Have you seen Movie Fight Club I?
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  Haven't. OK, so in this movie, there are
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  two characters, one's played by Brad Pitt, one's played by Ed
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  Norton. And the whole movie you think
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  they are two different people. And then the very last scene,
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  you realize, Oh my God, they are one person with split
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  personality disorder. But they had no idea because
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  their understanding or perception of reality was really
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  segmented and there was no understanding of of the whole of
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  the person. And it was the first moment when
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  I'm watching this last scene that I realized many people with
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  mental illness don't realize that they're mentally ill.
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  So all of a sudden, in this one instance, I had simultaneous
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  empathy and compassion for my mom because I realized she
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  wasn't just lying to me on purpose.
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  She really saw things that way. And then of course, the
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  byproduct of that for the rest of us was very traumatizing.
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  But in that moment, I actually felt empathy for her.
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  I really, she wasn't just trying to mess with me for 13 years of
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  my life that she actually was really struggling.
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  And in that exact moment, I was set out on a mission.
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  What is self deception? How can it be so
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  all-encompassing that we can't see our way out of it?
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  How do we justify it? And what role does society in
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  the system play in keeping us stuck in that restricted
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  perspective? Because we've been in a mental
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  health crisis for millennia and we never seem to take a
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  meaningful bite out of the the depth of that crisis.
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  And I have some hypotheses as to why that is, but I think at the
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  core, it's rooted in self deception.
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  My mom couldn't see it any other way because she was patterned by
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  what had happened to her in childhood.
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  And it's like putting on a distorted lens of glass.
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  And that feels real to her, but it doesn't mean that it's
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  objectively true. Yeah, I know.
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  It's so crazy. And I've been realizing that now
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  that I have awareness and understanding of this space and
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  more of myself and I'm more connected to myself, I can start
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  to see the patterns or the thought process or the
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  validation or the justification of the way my brain thinks
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  things to be true. And you know, reality isn't as
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  it is, it's as you see it is or as you think it is.
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  And that's so different for everyone.
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  And I, I felt that same way with my dad.
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  I felt like I would like argued with a brick wall, like, how can
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  you not see this? How could you act this way?
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  And, and he didn't know. I mean, it was just his, his
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  perception of reality and, and his lens.
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  What do you think? Like I let's talk about what is
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  self deception and where does it come from?
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  And I mean, just walk us through some of the, yeah, I don't know
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  too much about your book or too much in in this space beyond
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  what I've done. But like, I guess what is self
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  deception? We'll start with that.
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  Self deception is when our brain will skew how we're perceiving
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  reality, typically in either a positive or negative way.
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  So an example of negative self deception, your brains going to
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  fixate on the risk and it's going to minimize the potential
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  reward because you're an entrepreneur.
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  I would imagine that you probably skew the other way
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  because in general, entrepreneurs tend to focus on
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  the reward and then they are willing to minimize the risk
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  'cause they're like, Oh yeah, why not, right?
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  Entrepreneurs in general tend to be why not oriented rather than
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  why. When you're operating with
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  negative self deception, your brain is very focused on what
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  could go wrong and it tends to paralyze you or at least slow
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  your momentum. When other pattern types
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  experience positive self deception, it can highlight all
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  the rewards and it can minimize the risks in a way that can
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  translate as impulsive, maybe being overly or unrealistically
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  optimistic, naive. Or you're jumping and you're
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  taking action and you're telling yourself, I'm going to figure it
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  out as I go along. And from being an entrepreneur
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  myself, a lot of times you figure it out and then sometimes
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  you don't. And either way, you have to
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  still pick up the pieces and keep going.
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  So when people are stuck in a more positive sort of self
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  deception, it often can put you into the field of play.
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  If you look at life like a game, you're sometimes putting
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  yourself onto the field of play without being prepared or
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  without really looking at the proper steps to step out on the
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  field. You're just kind of getting out
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  there. And then you're like, oh, and
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  then you can actually put yourself in harm's way.
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  If you take that and translate it to an intimate relationship.
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  For example, positive self deception is what tricks you
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  into believing that somehow this boyfriend is different than this
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  boyfriend when all of your friends are like, no, Hannah,
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  this person's the same person that you've dated five times,
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  but your brain is going to focus on the reward.
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  Oh, well, these, these and these things are different.
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  Therefore this is going to be great.
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  It's going to work out totally differently this time.
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  Whereas maybe somebody who tends to struggle with commitment, who
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  holds themselves back, is very slow to commit.
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  They're going more down the negative self deception path
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  where they're focused on what could go wrong.
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  Maybe they're looking at a small more beige flag behavior and
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  they're looking at it as a red flag.
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  So instead of like a little annoyance or something that they
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  don't like, their brain is actually going to escalate it to
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  be this big red flag where you or I might meet them, be like,
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  they weren't bad, they're great. So the point here with self
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  deception is that the way we perceive reality is not fixed.
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  It's not concrete. And if you look at the world
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  around you, everything is pixels.
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  So if you've ever seen an image that gets pixelated, that's
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  actually what's happening here. And our brain fills in a lot of
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  those gaps. So I'm looking at book, Water
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  bottle, Blingy Ring. My brain could get a little
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  flash of something and I might not actually even look at the
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  whole image and my brains going to fill in the gaps.
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  I'll see a little edge in my brains going to just decide this
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  is a water bottle. Even without me sitting there
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  and staring at him. Like mapping every single edge.
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  Our brain gets accustomed to turning these pixels into things
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  that can be defined between the ages of two and five.
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  SA lot of the ways that we define our perception are coming
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  from that very early childhood perspective.
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  Do you know what priming is? So a very easy to understand
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  example of priming is if you take a room full of people and
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  you have a yellow backdrop up on the screen and then you give
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  people a piece of paper and you're like, can everyone please
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  write down a fruit? What fruit do you think of
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  banana, Right? So that's usually what happens,
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  like 99% of people will say banana.
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  I didn't tell you that the fruit had to be yellow, but because I
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  just said the word yellow, it's the first thing that's going to
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  populate. So this is a really simple
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  example of something that actually happens to us all day
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  long, every minute of every day. Our brain is looking for these
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  little associations and it's closing out that gap and turning
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  it from an assumption to a conclusion.
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  And we don't actually know if that's true.
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  But the cool part is there are certain brain pattern types that
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  are more willing to question themselves.
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  There's an awareness that their way might not exactly be the
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  right way and they want to see the bigger picture.
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  Another way to say this would be they often have more situational
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  awareness instead of being so locked into their perspective.
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  They're like, hold on, let me pull back here.
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  What could some alternatives have been?
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  So I don't know about you, but when I was a little kid, I loved
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  watching spy movies and thrillers.
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  And I was always the person that knew what was going to happen
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  before it happened. And my dad would be like, God,
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  you ruin everything. That's funny because my brain, I
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  like just couldn't turn it off. As soon as I'd see little
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  things, my brain would already end that Matrix problem and I'd
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  know exactly. I know the two different ways
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  this movie could end. And I would likely ruin it for
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  everybody, just like I sadly ruined Fight Club for you today.
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  So I'm sorry about that. So when we do this, these little
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  associations, they actually become the impetus for us to
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  completely destroy our lives, whether that's positively skewed
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  or negatively skewed. We are assuming things about our
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  world based on perception that are going to take all the
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  possibilities we have in the world of how to behave or how to
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  react, and it all of a sudden starts to constrain them down to
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  this really tiny circle because the brain thinks formulaically.
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  If I know what my conclusion is, the behaviors that I can act out
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  to get my way there very limited.
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  A good example that I tend to act out with podcasts was to
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  make it make sense. I don't know if you've ever had
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  a friend or a family member who gets mad and throws throws
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  things. Have you ever known somebody
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  like that? OK so for me it was my little
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  sister growing up, anything she would had near her if she was
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  mad, it would get thrown. One time it was a steak knife at
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  the dinner table. My mom also would like throw
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  back like cordless phones before we had cell phones.
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  Like I've seen so many phones shatter in my childhood.
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  If I was that kind of person, which luckily for you I'm not at
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  all. Let's say that you and I were
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  having an argument about something and you said something
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  that really upset me or I found offensive.
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  I might grab this water bottle and huck it at you.
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  But obviously I'm not that person and my style, well, the
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  choices that I would perceive would be like ask her a
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  question, try to understand why she said that, you know, maybe
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  try to figure out why her perception, your perception are
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  so out of alignment. But I would never think grab
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  water bottle and throw it at you, but somebody else would.
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  Their circle of decision making would include throw the bottle.
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  So when we allow these early childhood rules to constrain our
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  choices, it makes people act out behaviors that are very
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  repetitive. Like chances are, unless
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  somebody like that that has a tendency to throw things or be
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  more physical, does some sort of healing work, that pattern will
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  not just persist. It will get worse every year
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  that they age because these ruts get deeper.
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  Yeah, that's so good. And it's it we, I was just on
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  the phone before we started this interview and it someone said,
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  I, I understand the things in my life, they're not happening to
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  me, they're happening for you. And I said even better than
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  that, you're designing him. Yes, that's so good.
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  That's a hard one. Like that's a hard pill for a
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  lot of people to swallow because we're, we have the survival
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  brain, right? And then we want to point the
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  finger and blame other people and do whatever we can to
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  survive. And we're innately driven by
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  fear and our childhood, just like you mentioned.
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  By the time we're 5, so many patterns are already so
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  repetitive and locked in. And like the lens in which we
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  see the world and the gaps that our brain is filling in the
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  things that we look at or the, the experiences that we're
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  having are so deeply wired. And then we, we reinforce that
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  as we grow up. And then by the time we realize
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  we really have a problem is when you hit 20, 253035 years old and
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  you're like, oh shit, I'm really sabotaging my life.
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  And you could be either the victim of all these things
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  happened in my life and that's the, that's why I am this way.
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  Or the person that says, I'm not going to settle for living this
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  way. And I can be rewired and I can
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  change the outcome and I can create whatever life that I
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  want, even though it's going to be work and I'm going to have to
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  rewire these things in my, my brain.
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  So it's really cool that you said that and I just went on a
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  little bit of a tangent and forgot the question.
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  That was it was, it was beautiful.
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  It was awesome. But So what do you think?
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  How do you have the awareness? I mean, what is this healing
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  process? Because I'm trying to put this
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  into words too, right? And so would you talk about your
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  break method? What is the break method?
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  How is it different than traditional healing?
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  Because healing is kind of a, a buzzword, like, you know, I'm
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  healing or I have trauma or all these things.
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  And So what does it really, what does healing really mean to you?
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  And how does your method approach it?
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  Let's start with, do we believe that healing is possible, like
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  really arriving at that healed state?
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  This is something that I've asked many therapists that I've
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  trained, many doctors that I work with.
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  I think this is something that we've lost as a society.
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  I think there's some elements of this that are partially due to
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  litigation and insurance and things like that, right?
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  It's a liability to be like, you can be healed because do we
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  really have control over that in a way that we can quantify with
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  insurance or some sort of liability?
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  So I think there's been this transition away from believing
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  that that arrival is possible. And I think that fundamentally
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  that is something I've always believed in.
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  I've always been able to envision what someone's healed
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  state looks like rather than just this perpetual loop of
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  healing. Because I'm sure you can see on
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  social media, there are a lot of people that talk about healing,
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  but it's very messy, it's very chaotic, it's not linear and
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  they could be healing for years. I really believe that the path
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  to being healed is actually much more of a straight line.
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  And there there needs to be data actually part of that process to
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  get there without it becoming messy and chaotic.
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  So fundamentally, I think as a society we've lost touch with
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  that idea that you can arrive at a place of being healed.
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  And the foundation of my work is built around something called
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  the source belief spectrum. So if you actually I can
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  probably get me to find the visual so you can see it.
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  Let's see if I can. There aren't too many pictures
• 16:43
  in here. It's a 702 page, not picture
• 16:46
  book. So it's insane.
• 16:47
  Everybody get ready. It's not a light read.
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  I have faith that I'm going to bump into it soon.
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  I. Believe in you.
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  Come. On I think we're getting close.
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  I don't feel it. So, oh, here we go.
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  OK, so I'm going to show it to you and then I'll give you a
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  slide that we can project up when you put up the show.
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  So you can see there's a left and a right side, and there are
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  shared qualities that exist on the left side and they go up
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  like a scale. So this is like an XY axis.
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  And then there's shared qualities that go down on the
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  right side. So example would be if you start
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  at the center and you start to work your way out to the left,
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  right hashing out to the left, self trust goes up.
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  So you start to look to yourself as a way to solve the problem
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  rather than look outside of yourself.
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  You start to become more situationally aware in general.
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  You tend to be more aligned with career and purpose and intimate
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  relationships can be a bit more of a struggle by comparison.
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  And you tend to be very hyper independent, typically in a way
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  that could actually bother other people because I don't know if
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  you experienced this, but for people who are not hyper
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  independent, they may interpret that as selfishness or like a
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  lack of trust in them. If you just do everything by
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  yourself, it means that you somehow fundamentally don't
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  trust that. I can help you when the reality
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  is when, when people's brains get patterned to be placed in on
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  this left side, it's really less about other people and more just
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  about how they know how to do things right.
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  That they know that if I put myself into the position of
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  decision making and I'm solely responsible, I know I can
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  generate a good outcome. But I know that if I start to
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  include other people, my chances of success may go down, as you
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  could imagine. I'll show you right here.
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  So where this black line is, if you're to draw a small square
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  right here, the top 1% of the most successful entrepreneurs
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  that the top 1% of any organization, they're all
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  plotted right there. Oh wow.
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  And there's a reason for that. If you go too far to the left
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  and you have extreme self trust, extreme situational awareness
• 18:58
  where you are perceiving every single detail in your
• 19:01
  environment and you're hyper independent and you eventually
• 19:04
  start to isolate from others. You don't trust others so much
• 19:06
  that you just act and operate in a silo.
• 19:09
  Eventually you start to become a little bit paranoid.
• 19:12
  You don't know what things to just ignore in your environment
• 19:15
  and what things to prioritize. So there's a, there's a balance
• 19:18
  here, which is why typically those top entrepreneurs in the
• 19:21
  middle left, we can see the bigger picture.
• 19:24
  I'm just slightly to the right of this line right here.
• 19:28
  I can see the big picture. I'm more of a big picture vision
• 19:30
  person, but I'm not so situationally focused that I
• 19:34
  completely miss relational inputs.
• 19:37
  But I'm also not fixated on relational inputs either.
• 19:39
  If somebody doesn't like me, I'm not going to lose sleep over it.
• 19:43
  If somebody's going to, you know, say stuff about me on
• 19:45
  Instagram, like it'll, it'll hurt for an hour, but I'm not
• 19:49
  going to ruminate on it for three days.
• 19:52
  So as you go to the opposite side, all the things that I just
• 19:56
  described flip the opposite direction.
• 19:58
  So instead of being more independent, you tend to become
• 20:03
  more codependent. You need somebody else to help
• 20:06
  you regulate. You look to other people to
• 20:08
  solve problems. So instead of when push comes to
• 20:10
  shove, I'm going to I'm going to figure out how to handle it.
• 20:12
  I immediately go look to somebody who's in authority or
• 20:15
  someone who's in hierarchy to tell me how to solve the
• 20:16
  problem. So you can see why this does not
• 20:19
  naturally lend itself to entrepreneurship.
• 20:22
  You can't look to other people. You have to essentially learn
• 20:25
  how to thrive flying solo typically learn how to do all
• 20:30
  the different fasts of the job Even so that you can properly
• 20:33
  delegate it. So in general, when we go over
• 20:35
  to that right side, not only do people become typically more
• 20:39
  codependent, they start to lose self trust as we start to move
• 20:43
  out to that right side and they start to lose situational
• 20:46
  awareness. They're so fixated on what
• 20:48
  others think and feel that it's like they're missing all those
• 20:50
  pixels behind them. So an example of this would be
• 20:53
  my mom is on the far right. She was so focused on what she
• 20:58
  thought I was thinking about her that she could easily project
• 21:00
  that I was judging her. And then she would lash out at
• 21:03
  me for something that didn't take place in objective reality
• 21:06
  and that I was completely unaware of.
• 21:08
  I'm so busy worrying about the broad situation that I'm I'm
• 21:11
  missing something that's right in front of me and she can't see
• 21:14
  the broad situation and can only see what she thinks is right in
• 21:17
  front of her. This is making sense somewhere.
• 21:20
  So what I have found is that if you track 200 historical data
• 21:24
  points from somebody's life from kind of birth to present, and
• 21:29
  these are concrete facts, these aren't, you know, so how did you
• 21:32
  feel about your relationship with your mom?
• 21:34
  So we're not using words like, how did you feel?
• 21:36
  Was it good? We're looking at cold hard facts
• 21:38
  that anybody can extract from their childhood, even if they
• 21:41
  feel like they don't have a good memory.
• 21:43
  I have found that if you take the answer pattern to these 200
• 21:47
  historical data points, you can accurately predict patterns of
• 21:51
  thought, behavior, and decision making with 98.3% accuracy.
• 21:54
  So I turned this into a predictive algorithm that tracks
• 21:58
  9 distinct markers that can. If I know these things about the
• 22:02
  person, I know the secrets you keep, I know your underlying
• 22:04
  motivations, and I know in any given situation exactly how you
• 22:08
  would handle it in early stages, in the middle and late stages,
• 22:12
  and how the whole cycle would start all over again.
• 22:14
  And when I go through this with people, they're often a little
• 22:17
  bit scared because it doesn't seem like it should be possible.
• 22:19
  How could just my answers to these things actually tell you
• 22:22
  all of that? And it's because what we
• 22:24
  experience with repetition in our early childhood years, it
• 22:28
  does predispose us to think of the world within a formula.
• 22:32
  So while you look different than I do, you and I could have the
• 22:35
  same exact brain pattern. We could have the same exact
• 22:37
  brain pattern, the same markers in the same order.
• 22:39
  So while we have certain aspects of our personality that might
• 22:42
  show up differently, we can start talking and realize like,
• 22:45
  oh, my God, I do that, too. You do that, too.
• 22:47
  Have you ever met anybody like this before where you just.
• 22:50
  You seem so similar that it's almost scary?
• 22:52
  Yeah. OK, this happens a lot by the
• 22:54
  way, in the entrepreneurship community because where I just
• 22:58
  showed you on the spectrum, we are very small percentage of the
• 23:01
  general population. There's like this Goldilocks in
• 23:04
  the three bears scenario that has to happen.
• 23:06
  We need to be like just messed up enough, but just good enough
• 23:09
  to kind of eke it out and end up on the middle left.
• 23:12
  So there's a, there's a secret sauce of inputs that can't be
• 23:15
  too good, but they also can't be too bad to spit us out right
• 23:19
  there. And when I speak to
• 23:22
  entrepreneurship groups and I describe some of these things,
• 23:25
  people are like, Oh my God, no one's ever gotten me in my whole
• 23:27
  life except you. This is so crazy.
• 23:29
  So when you're in kind of more these tight knit like mastermind
• 23:31
  groups, you start to realize very quickly, I literally like
• 23:35
  share a brain with these people. And you quite literally do.
• 23:39
  I was on Sean Kelly's podcast back in February and I did a
• 23:43
  whole segment about the brain patterns of the top 1%, posted
• 23:48
  it, and of course the amount of hate that you get from everybody
• 23:50
  that's not this brain pattern type was hilarious.
• 23:53
  But from that, Andy Frisella reached out to me and was like,
• 23:57
  yes, this is exactly me. Like I've never heard somebody
• 24:00
  articulated this way. Three other huge influencers
• 24:03
  with like 3 to 5 million followers on Instagram were
• 24:06
  like, no one ever got me. This is the first time I
• 24:07
  actually feel seen because we get it, but people misinterpret
• 24:11
  our why all the time. In my career, for many years,
• 24:15
  people misunderstand when I'm being driven to care for others
• 24:19
  and provide for others, they're simultaneously thinking that I'm
• 24:22
  selfish or narcissistic. This is a very common conundrum
• 24:26
  that entrepreneurs find themselves in because if they
• 24:29
  don't think like you and they don't perceive reality the way
• 24:31
  that you do, they're going to try to project how they see the
• 24:35
  world onto your actions and there will be a mismatch.
• 24:38
  So this is one of the fundamental pieces of my work is
• 24:40
  that I feel like if I were to distill down someone's like
• 24:42
  busy, what do you do? I think there are a lot of
• 24:44
  modalities that help you become aware of what you do, right?
• 24:47
  You can look at your behavior and kind of piece it all out.
• 24:50
  And you're like, I do this in relationships.
• 24:52
  I make bad decisions here. I'm impulsive here.
• 24:54
  But you, you know the what? I'm able to tell you the why.
• 24:59
  When you know the why, it can completely transform all of your
• 25:02
  relationships. It transforms the way you show
• 25:04
  up in your work. Because many of us, even through
• 25:07
  self deception, we've made so many excuses and
• 25:10
  rationalizations and justifications that we can't
• 25:14
  really see that lens of self deception anymore.
• 25:16
  It just starts to feel like self.
• 25:18
  When you understand the why and you can kind of correct the
• 25:21
  underlying motivations and understand why you do something,
• 25:24
  it's so much easier to stop doing it because like you,
• 25:27
  you're a smart girl. If I were to breakdown the
• 25:29
  formula and you actually finally faced it head on, you'd be like,
• 25:32
  Oh my God, that's ridiculous. I would never, now that I can
• 25:35
  see it, I would never do that ever again.
• 25:36
  See what I'm saying? And what does that process look
• 25:39
  like? So like if I'm somebody that
• 25:41
  realizes I'm repeating the same pattern, for instance, for me,
• 25:45
  long time ago, my whole life up until recently, I had I dated
• 25:49
  the same guy with a different face over and over again, right.
• 25:52
  And same girl. Same.
• 25:53
  Yeah. And I was like, OK, I'm the
• 25:54
  common denominator here. I'm choosing these people are
• 25:57
  attracting these people Like what's wrong with me that I can
• 26:00
  fix and change it. But it took AI had to mess up
• 26:04
  enough to see the pattern and that's where I saw the pattern.
• 26:06
  Instead of just jumping back in into another relationship.
• 26:09
  I'm OK, I'm going to work on myself and figure out how to
• 26:11
  rewire my brain so I don't attract people like this anymore
• 26:15
  or choose people like this or whatever.
• 26:19
  So I guess what's the process for someone to identify that
• 26:22
  they even need to heal or go through the break method or this
• 26:27
  type of process? And then what can they expect
• 26:29
  out of that process? So you ask a series of
• 26:31
  questions, they tell you all their secrets, and then what
• 26:34
  happens after that? So that's just step one.
• 26:36
  And they actually don't tell me their secrets.
• 26:38
  I tell them their secrets. That's kind of the whole thing
• 26:41
  is that I can predict everything that you experience and all the
• 26:45
  secrets that you keep. So that's the whole thing is
• 26:47
  that you don't tell me anything. That's what's so scary about it
• 26:50
  is that I'm able to tell you who you are and where people are.
• 26:52
  Like, Oh my God, this is so freaky, how did you do it?
• 26:56
  And it just proves that we are very formulaic beings.
• 27:00
  We have a, a big spirit or personality, but ultimately I
• 27:03
  have proven with what I've done over the last 11 years that
• 27:06
  there's basically 5 versions of human being.
• 27:09
  We have like 5 operating systems and that's about it.
• 27:12
  So there are subcategories from underneath the five, but
• 27:15
  ultimately there's about 5 different variants of human
• 27:18
  being and how we see the world and how we behave.
• 27:20
  So that's just Step 1. So that's the diagnostic process
• 27:23
  where we come up with your pattern hypothesis.
• 27:25
  We have those 9 markers. Then starts the process of
• 27:28
  actively rewiring, which with break method takes between 20
• 27:31
  and 24 weeks. One of the things that's very
• 27:33
  important about the process is that the client can't guide it.
• 27:37
  As soon as your preference and what you like or don't like can
• 27:41
  actually guide the flow of healing, you're not going to
• 27:44
  heal because you're not going to like the things that you
• 27:46
  actually really should do. And this goes back to what you
• 27:49
  were saying about the relationships.
• 27:51
  Often the things that we like, the things that we feel are
• 27:54
  attractive, we're feel safe even to us in early stages, we find
• 27:58
  out the hard way, a plot twist. Those are the things that over
• 28:01
  time become something else that we don't like.
• 28:04
  This is why most people, they don't learn that they have to do
• 28:07
  something different until they keep getting themselves into
• 28:09
  pain. So I think it's a beautiful
• 28:11
  thing that you got yourself into pain so many times that you're
• 28:13
  like, OK, when I'm not in this now that I'm just living my
• 28:17
  life, I got to do the work now because people usually try to do
• 28:20
  it when they're experiencing the pain.
• 28:22
  And you can do that too. But I typically encourage
• 28:26
  people, even if your life is not a dumpster fire right now, like
• 28:29
  that's a great time to do it. Do it when your life is not on
• 28:32
  fire because then you can take it more seriously, methodically.
• 28:35
  You have time to really piece through it because every single
• 28:38
  one of us has a brain pattern that locks us into certain
• 28:41
  cycles of conflict or chaos. And some of us mask them really
• 28:45
  well. Some of us have achieved a lot
• 28:48
  on paper, but life could always be better.
• 28:50
  We could always be even better at the things that we're good
• 28:52
  at. And I work with so many high
• 28:54
  level entrepreneurs too, where I try to remind them a lot of the
• 28:58
  issues with your behavior that breaks apart your relationships
• 29:01
  is actually what makes you thrive in your career.
• 29:04
  So I don't we don't go and just start pulling things out and
• 29:08
  changing the person. I'm not going to broke break
• 29:10
  something that is already working for the person.
• 29:13
  So if someone's leadership style or harsh style of communication
• 29:17
  works really well for them and their business, I just need to
• 29:19
  change how they're dealing with their spouse.
• 29:22
  So we keep that intact and help them understand how they have to
• 29:25
  do it differently or in a pattern opposed way in
• 29:28
  relationships. So one of the very first steps
• 29:31
  after you get through the diagnostic assessment is to
• 29:34
  uncover these pieces and these data input relationships without
• 29:39
  you guiding the process. Many people when they go into
• 29:41
  therapy, they have their story already of why they are the way
• 29:45
  they are, right? Daddy issues, mommy issues,
• 29:47
  because I was adopted. And what I've found over 11
• 29:50
  years is that these things are almost never the actual cause of
• 29:54
  the pattern. Our patterns are created by much
• 29:56
  more under the radar, subtle, repetitive things that we
• 29:59
  experience in our environment, like a mom's facial expressions,
• 30:03
  a dad's voice tone, observing something, and then our brain
• 30:05
  filling in the gaps because parents aren't giving us the
• 30:08
  quality of information that we're looking for.
• 30:10
  These are the things that are much more likely to create the
• 30:13
  brain pattern rather than one off really traumatic events.
• 30:16
  We typically experience those traumatic events through our
• 30:19
  brain pattern. So as we're going through this
• 30:21
  process, we have to make sure that we're extracting data in a
• 30:24
  way where the client can't guide or prevent the process with
• 30:27
  their preferences. So for this, I usually describe
• 30:30
  to clients that you're basically agreeing to be a rat in a Mace.
• 30:35
  You won't know when you're getting out of it.
• 30:36
  You won't know what we're doing and why.
• 30:38
  Because if you know too much, then you can lie, cheat and
• 30:41
  steal your way through it and then you won't actually get what
• 30:44
  you paid me to get you. So there's this process by which
• 30:48
  whether it's rat in a maze or you're agreeing to basically
• 30:51
  strap yourself into a roller coaster and you will get off the
• 30:54
  roller coaster, but it's going to be a wild ride.
• 30:57
  There's some submission process that has to happen where you
• 31:01
  can't know what and why. And that's precisely why it
• 31:05
  works when you're able to be asked questions that are all
• 31:07
  narrative where you can say like how you felt about your dad or
• 31:11
  you know, why you think a parent favored your sister over you.
• 31:15
  These are all questions that are truly irrelevant to sustainable
• 31:19
  healing. So we do not do any of that.
• 31:21
  Everything is very tactical, strategic.
• 31:24
  There's always a structure that you can't change because there's
• 31:27
  a part of that process that's going to be the medicine that
• 31:30
  everybody needs at some point. So there are certain brain
• 31:33
  pattern types that at certain phases of the structure, it's
• 31:36
  easy. And then there are others that
• 31:37
  are like, I hate this part of the process.
• 31:40
  So every time that you hate it and you want to push back
• 31:42
  against it, that's usually the exact point where you needed
• 31:45
  that medicine, right? Like we don't like the way
• 31:47
  medicine tastes, but we need it nonetheless.
• 31:51
  So in these moments, every, at some stage, let's say you break
• 31:54
  it into like 16 different sections, at some point,
• 31:57
  everyone's going to get exactly what they needed, and they'll be
• 31:59
  triggered in the exact right ways to learn how to map what's
• 32:02
  actually happening beneath the scenes.
• 32:05
  All the while, we're helping people collect data that they
• 32:07
  can't manipulate, and then we're helping them learn how to
• 32:10
  organize it. And this is a process that is
• 32:12
  very important because everything that I have built is
• 32:15
  very important to me, that it's sustainable.
• 32:18
  And for something to be sustainable, you have to empower
• 32:20
  the person to learn how to do it.
• 32:23
  And we live in a society where learned helplessness is rampant.
• 32:26
  They want you to do for them. Yeah, just fix it.
• 32:29
  Like, can't you just fix it for me, Hannah?
• 32:32
  The reality is I can, but then you would need me forever.
• 32:35
  And I don't want to build that sort of relationship.
• 32:37
  That's not empowering and it's not sustainable.
• 32:39
  So while I'm helping, whether it's me or someone on my team,
• 32:42
  while we're helping somebody through this process, we're
• 32:45
  simultaneously making sure that they know what we know so they
• 32:49
  can do this for themselves for the rest of their lives.
• 32:51
  Otherwise, it's not sustainable. So there's this passing of
• 32:54
  information that I've heard a lot of people describe it like
• 32:56
  the intensity of going through college all over again, but of
• 33:00
  self. It's a lot of work.
• 33:02
  There's a lot of time that you spend in it.
• 33:04
  But as you're coming through to the other side, I have seen even
• 33:09
  the most dysregulated person completely 180 and be a
• 33:13
  different person with different relationships.
• 33:16
  And my favorite part about all of this is that they're not
• 33:20
  really a different person. They're who they actually were
• 33:23
  meant to be before their childhood got in the way.
• 33:27
  So I like to look at it as a process of restoration because I
• 33:29
  do think we come into this world with the unique blueprint.
• 33:32
  We, some of us are very aligned with our destiny from those
• 33:35
  young years and others of us have to try to struggle to
• 33:38
  figure that out. But there's so many things that
• 33:40
  start to prevent us from being able to click onto that track
• 33:44
  and really go for it. We start to question ourselves.
• 33:46
  We start to get ourselves into chaotic back and forth and
• 33:50
  interpersonal relationships. When you can remove all of that,
• 33:53
  you literally are unstoppable. You can do anything you want in
• 33:57
  your life. And I think that's who we always
• 33:59
  were meant to be. So like to think of it going
• 34:02
  back to who you could have been rather than truly turning into
• 34:04
  somebody else. Right, yeah.
• 34:06
  And I, I study Doctor Gabbermatay.
• 34:08
  He was his book The Met the Normal was something that helps
• 34:12
  or more of my healing in that journey.
• 34:14
  But he says that like we lose our authentic selves as a child
• 34:18
  and we don't. And then we develop an ego or
• 34:21
  this persona or identity that isn't even who we are.
• 34:24
  It's just based on the rewards that we received for certain
• 34:27
  things that we accomplished or certain ways that we acted and
• 34:30
  our brains to survive decided to become this person and then into
• 34:34
  adulthood. You're like, this is who I am,
• 34:36
  but it's not who you are. It's who you adapted to become
• 34:40
  to survive. But that at some some point
• 34:42
  doesn't serve you any longer because we're not in fight or
• 34:45
  flight. Like we're not going to die.
• 34:47
  We're not going to be homeless. We're not going to die.
• 34:49
  Like we have the ability and capacity to always be taken care
• 34:52
  of. But yet these, these I'm going
• 34:55
  to die fear responses in our brain still drive our decision.
• 35:00
  Like I still feel like I'm going to die all the time.
• 35:02
  Like not really die, but I'm going to lose it all or I'm
• 35:05
  going to be homeless or I'm going to be broke or I'm
• 35:07
  whatever, right? And it's such a stupid thing to
• 35:10
  think because there's no way in, in hell that would ever happen
• 35:13
  because people love me. Like I have people in my life
• 35:15
  that I love and they love me and they would take care of me.
• 35:17
  Like that's just not a real realistic expectation.
• 35:20
  And I know I would come off the ground and I would rebuild my
• 35:22
  company or I would, I would be fine.
• 35:24
  Like I have my brain and my experience and the people in my
• 35:26
  life that are critical to, to my support and vice versa.
• 35:31
  But it's crazy how that that wiring happens.
• 35:33
  And I found myself questioning this through my journey of
• 35:36
  transformation and healing is questioning who really am I
• 35:41
  like? Am I really an entrepreneur who
• 35:44
  loves business and loves creation and all these things?
• 35:47
  Or am I in a state of fight or flight that I'm terrified of
• 35:51
  being poor or not having money or not being good enough or cool
• 35:54
  enough or worthy enough or loved enough or smart enough or
• 35:56
  whatever it is this person I think I am really, really who I
• 36:01
  am and starting to peel back those layers, which is very hard
• 36:03
  to do because self deception, right?
• 36:06
  You're like, you have justification like, Oh yeah,
• 36:08
  this is how I am. This is how I've always been and
• 36:11
  either. Conscious and subconscious or
• 36:13
  not, incongruency. That's why consciously you're
• 36:15
  like, I know all of these things and then your subconscious is
• 36:17
  like, hold my beer. All of these things.
• 36:20
  Simultaneously. Yeah, and I've, you know, I
• 36:24
  questioned my identity so much that I mean, I sold everything,
• 36:28
  quit my job. This was a long time ago before
• 36:32
  I had businesses, but I had like a small real estate business.
• 36:35
  I had an engineering job at the time and I had some houses at
• 36:38
  the time and I sold stuff, bought a one way ticket to
• 36:41
  Hawaii, quit my engineering job. And I was like, maybe I'm not
• 36:44
  supposed to be a driven entrepreneur.
• 36:45
  Maybe this is just fear and maybe I would be better just
• 36:48
  living off passive income and sitting on the beach.
• 36:50
  I didn't like that either, you know, And so just trying to
• 36:53
  figure out and, and then going through this healing process in
• 36:56
  this journey that I'm, and still I think we're always kind of on,
• 37:00
  but we're always growing right where you're growing or we're
• 37:02
  dying. But through that process, I was
• 37:04
  able to figure out, Oh no, I am an entrepreneur.
• 37:07
  I love the game of entrepreneurship.
• 37:09
  I am put on this earth to create and to serve and to heal and to
• 37:12
  help and to work towards my highest potential and help
• 37:16
  people do the same. But I was being driven from fear
• 37:20
  and scarcity and and shame and guilt and resentment and all
• 37:24
  these things that I was holding on to.
• 37:26
  And I knew that those energies and belief systems and patterns
• 37:31
  were toxic to to me in my life and to the people who are in my
• 37:35
  life also. And I wasn't going to reach my
• 37:37
  highest potential or show up my best for the world or share my
• 37:41
  gift with the world in the right way.
• 37:42
  If I was operating from that point of fear or negative energy
• 37:47
  versus a, a place of true freedom and joy and creation and
• 37:51
  love and abundance and all the, all those things.
• 37:53
  So I for your process, like, because it's, it's such a
• 37:58
  difficult thing to think about because it's so theoretical and
• 38:02
  you bring data and science into it, which is really awesome.
• 38:06
  But how does someone know that they need it?
• 38:10
  Like what are the, the, the patterns in your life?
• 38:12
  Or how does someone even have the awareness that maybe I
• 38:14
  should do something like this? And maybe I am self sabotaging
• 38:17
  or maybe I should rethink my dogmas that I, I currently
• 38:23
  believe for. And even if they're in the
• 38:24
  middle of their lives. I think everybody needs it, and
• 38:28
  I think it's you can do it when you're in a currently
• 38:32
  traumatized state, but it's even better to do it when things are
• 38:35
  going pretty good. This is like being able to get a
• 38:39
  cheat code in a game where you've been like struggling at
• 38:41
  the game for a while and like you're doing pretty good.
• 38:43
  You've got a high score, but all of a sudden someone's like, here
• 38:45
  you go. And then all of a sudden you can
• 38:47
  go up 20 levels in one night where it might have taken you
• 38:50
  like a year to get there. So we all benefit from
• 38:54
  understanding how our brain deceives us and distorts the
• 38:58
  world around us. And just happened to every
• 39:00
  single person. No one, no one gets out of this
• 39:03
  without this happening. It's part of the human
• 39:04
  experience. But when you learn what the
• 39:07
  distortion is, it's like if you were to go put on my glasses
• 39:11
  prescription, most likely you wouldn't be able to see anymore.
• 39:14
  He'd be like, damn, this girl has really bad eyesight.
• 39:18
  But if I put on my glasses perfect vision, right, our brain
• 39:23
  pattern functions like that glasses prescription.
• 39:26
  So we've just identified with it as self for X amount of years.
• 39:30
  I'm 40, so I would have identified with it for 40 years.
• 39:33
  But as soon as I learn what it is and what goes into that
• 39:36
  distortion and how it subtly shifts things and sets me up to
• 39:40
  repeat things that might not be the only way I can do things.
• 39:45
  I learned how to take them off and now I'm, I'm, I'm corrected
• 39:48
  back to objective reality. So like I know how I like to do
• 39:52
  things, but I'm now able to adapt and be more flexible, be
• 39:57
  more dynamic, meet people where they are rather than just where
• 40:00
  I know how to meet them. Because most people, we do get
• 40:03
  locked into certain things. Like my personality is just this
• 40:06
  way. This is just my communication
• 40:07
  style. I'm just a loud extroverted
• 40:10
  person. I can be that way and I can be
• 40:13
  really quiet. I can listen for a long time
• 40:15
  where I can talk for a long time.
• 40:17
  Most people can't. They don't have that dynamic
• 40:19
  range anymore. They're mostly A1 trick or two
• 40:23
  trick Max pony. So no matter who you are, this
• 40:27
  unlocks why you've experienced the life that you have and helps
• 40:31
  you understand why small minute to minute actions or thoughts
• 40:36
  might actually be causing you to not get to the outcome that you
• 40:40
  want. And it might not be these big
• 40:42
  things because I think a lot of times the word even self
• 40:44
  sabotage gets overused. And I mean, it's oftentimes
• 40:47
  people will look at self sabotage, for example, aligned
• 40:51
  with procrastination. Technically, those are words
• 40:54
  that describe how behaviors unfold over time.
• 40:57
  Our behaviors are going to function like a baton passing,
• 41:01
  like if you were running a relay race, one is passing the baton
• 41:04
  to the next. The core of my work is that this
• 41:06
  is all happening at the level of language.
• 41:08
  If I'm scanning the pixels and I see this is a book, this is a
• 41:11
  water bottle, your Hannah, this is microphone, everything I look
• 41:13
  at, my brain is trying to define it.
• 41:16
  And once I think I've organized the pixels, my brain is going to
• 41:18
  define it. And then I decide, well, if this
• 41:20
  is a microphone, what are what are things that I do with a
• 41:23
  microphone? I could sing into it, I could
• 41:25
  talk. I could be like, no, no, I don't
• 41:27
  like being on camera. I don't like talking.
• 41:30
  So my brain is then going to start to jump all these next
• 41:33
  levels with break method. And with this book, we help you
• 41:37
  understand the language that your brain generates as a
• 41:39
  byproduct of your pattern. Because if our brain is thinking
• 41:43
  in formulas, those formulas end up now becoming language.
• 41:46
  And this language is like an excuse, a justification.
• 41:49
  Oh, well, I can't say this right now because it would upset her.
• 41:53
  So I'll just I'll keep it to myself and I'll I'll text her
• 41:56
  later, right. Think about how just those
• 41:58
  little things that we do all day long.
• 42:00
  Oh, I should smile a little bit more like I I might look like
• 42:02
  I'm kind of mad that all has language with it.
• 42:05
  You're not just thinking that passively and doing it.
• 42:08
  There's usually actual words that go with it.
• 42:11
  Some people might have more of an auditory quality.
• 42:13
  Some people it's more visual, but regardless, we're generating
• 42:17
  language. So with break method, once we
• 42:20
  know exactly what your pattern is, we start to address it and
• 42:23
  dismantle it. At the level of language, you
• 42:25
  have to fight an argument with a better argument.
• 42:28
  So I think in a lot of mental health and coaching and personal
• 42:31
  development practices, there's too much reliance on willpower.
• 42:35
  And it's like, you know, don't do it this way, do it this way
• 42:38
  instead. Good, now go do that.
• 42:40
  How often does that happen? Virtually never.
• 42:42
  Because to your point, your subconscious and your conscious
• 42:46
  are not at all in alignment. One part of you is like, I got
• 42:49
  this, I can do anything. And then the other parts, like,
• 42:52
  you could totally lose everything and end up homeless.
• 42:54
  So how do you reconcile those two things together?
• 42:58
  You have to address the language that caused this split or this
• 43:02
  fork and get them back into agreement with each other.
• 43:06
  Most people, even the people that you meet that are
• 43:09
  completely irrational and Moody. The brain, because it really
• 43:14
  functions more like a computer. There's a part of it that if you
• 43:17
  give it the right logical sequence, it actually it wants
• 43:22
  to consume the truth, but it's built up so many rules that are
• 43:25
  antagonistic to that, that the defense mechanisms that you have
• 43:29
  to get through to get there obviously very profound and more
• 43:33
  so for some people. This is what I was pointing out
• 43:35
  to you at the beginning. My guess is you're probably
• 43:38
  pretty similarly placed to where I am on the spectrum, and
• 43:42
  there's already a more natural awareness to pull back.
• 43:45
  And I think like, what could I have done differently?
• 43:48
  Like, did I mess that up? Is there something strategic
• 43:51
  that I need to change for next time?
• 43:53
  Whereas other people on the spectrum don't necessarily do
• 43:57
  that. They get really locked into
• 43:59
  their perspective. So I'm naturally able to
• 44:02
  question myself a little bit more than maybe other people
• 44:05
  would on the spectrum. But everybody has to learn how
• 44:07
  to do this, and it's not very general things.
• 44:10
  It's very specific to you. So if I know your underlying
• 44:14
  motivation and what your brain is actually trying to do, do and
• 44:16
  where it's going to go next and next and next, I can insert the
• 44:20
  exact right question sequence that shows your brain where it's
• 44:24
  about to go. So it's almost like pulling the
• 44:26
  curtain off on The Wizard of Oz and just being like, see, this
• 44:30
  guy's nothing. You don't have to deal with
• 44:31
  this. And if we understand the whole
• 44:33
  sequence, we can literally RIP it out from the root.
• 44:36
  And honestly, a lot of times clients just start laughing.
• 44:39
  Like people that have struggled for years.
• 44:41
  When you do it the right way, they're like, Oh my God, this is
• 44:43
  so easy. I'm trying to visualize how this
• 44:46
  works because I know what I've been through and it's so hard
• 44:49
  because everyone. 'S in the book, so you will get
• 44:51
  to experience it. I give everyone their, I call
• 44:54
  them rebellion zone. So based on your pattern, what
• 44:57
  areas your brain does a certain way and then avoids in a
• 45:00
  specific way, and exactly what you like questions to ask
• 45:02
  yourself to get out of it. OK, so you, you have the
• 45:05
  awareness of what you're doing or the patterns that you have
• 45:08
  and the self sabotaging patterns that you've developed over time.
• 45:12
  And then you based on your patterns, your brain pattern,
• 45:16
  you probe the right questions for you to ask yourself to start
• 45:20
  cause you to start thinking differently.
• 45:23
  And then it's like something you know, once you've seen light,
• 45:25
  you can't Unsee light and you start to have even more
• 45:28
  awareness. And you could start to slow down
• 45:31
  the train, as my old coach would say, and re act in a different
• 45:35
  way after that awareness. That's some of it.
• 45:37
  And I think that's, I would say that happens in maybe the
• 45:40
  earliest stages of this, but not the late stages partly of what
• 45:43
  you're describing. So learning what the pattern is
• 45:46
  and how to kind of observe when you're in it, and then at that
• 45:49
  point, insert the intervention. That's maybe what we would do in
• 45:53
  the very beginning when somebody's not yet accustomed to
• 45:55
  what we're doing and why. But there are other
• 45:57
  opportunities to insert that language that actually have a
• 46:01
  more profound effect. So let's say that you had a
• 46:04
  four, Think about it like Domino's.
• 46:06
  Let's say you had four Domino's up.
• 46:08
  Let's say that I know this person really does the most
• 46:11
  damage to their life on this 4th domino.
• 46:14
  I'm not going to start my strategy between 3:00 and 4:00.
• 46:18
  And unfortunately, I think this is often what happens in a lot
• 46:21
  of like behavior modification therapy.
• 46:23
  It's like you address the behavior at the time of the
• 46:26
  behavior. My entire methodology is that
• 46:29
  that behavior is actually a domino effect of something that
• 46:32
  happened way earlier. And if I can stop this one
• 46:35
  effectively, this one never has a chance of happening because I
• 46:39
  I already know how these are all interconnected.
• 46:42
  So I find the most elegant endpoint to get the most bang
• 46:47
  for my buck with where we're putting in the strategy.
• 46:49
  This is why people that might have struggled with things like
• 46:52
  addiction for a long time and had to white knuckle through
• 46:56
  something, they typically get to module 3IN break method and
• 47:00
  they're like, I, I don't even have to try to do this.
• 47:02
  It's just happening naturally. Like how did this, how did this
• 47:04
  happen to me? Because you're actually changing
• 47:07
  the way they see the world rather than trying to change the
• 47:10
  behavior. So if you can address the purse,
• 47:13
  the faulty perception and everything that comes from that
• 47:16
  place, the behavior is very unlikely to ever happen anyways.
• 47:19
  And if it does, you'll have a completely different perspective
• 47:22
  of it and you would likely start to see the error as it's
• 47:25
  unfolding and you would naturally do it differently.
• 47:27
  The other aspect of this, it's very important and it's what's
• 47:30
  tied into the whole concept of rebellion zones, is we have to
• 47:35
  do certain things that we don't like or don't want to do.
• 47:38
  But it's not just random. Everything is like balancing
• 47:42
  scales. Everyone, if I know your exact
• 47:44
  pattern and I know these 9 markers and in what order they
• 47:47
  unfold, they're very specific things I need to get you to do
• 47:50
  equipped with the strategy so that you can actually rewire.
• 47:53
  You can't rewire something that you're not doing.
• 47:55
  So I think a lot of times in therapy or even like spiritual
• 47:59
  communities or leadership, you just start to cut out things
• 48:02
  that you think are toxic and you just stop engaging them.
• 48:05
  But then you don't actually learn to rewire how to engage,
• 48:08
  things like that. You just cut them out, AKA you
• 48:12
  avoid it. So with break method, it's very
• 48:14
  much the opposite. I encourage people, once we have
• 48:17
  the plan and the strategy and we know exactly what we're going to
• 48:19
  do and how we're going to time it, now you have to be prepared
• 48:21
  to go into battle because the only way to actually rewire this
• 48:24
  sustainably is to do it and do it again and again and again.
• 48:28
  So this is the part in my work that I call pattern opposition,
• 48:31
  which is very precise. So it's not just like do some
• 48:34
  opposite or just do something you don't like.
• 48:36
  There's a very specific way that we have to do things
• 48:39
  differently. But because we've addressed the
• 48:41
  perception and the strategy of how you're going to walk it out,
• 48:44
  typically you're generating very different outcomes and now
• 48:47
  you're collecting evidence. Oh my God, when I do it this
• 48:49
  way, this X happens instead of Y.
• 48:53
  And now everything else in your life starts to change because
• 48:56
  you're changing and you're doing things differently.
• 48:58
  So typically by the time in my work, we get to the period that
• 49:01
  we called the rewire Sprint, right?
• 49:03
  That's where I always am. Like, you know, this is where
• 49:05
  the this is where the magic happens, which is really it's
• 49:07
  kind of a joke because it's actually already happened.
• 49:09
  And then by the end they're like, how much more can I even
• 49:11
  change? And I'm like, exactly because
• 49:12
  you've got them distracted, like, OK, so no pressure.
• 49:15
  Like I'm going to get there at the end.
• 49:17
  But it already happens before you get there because it's
• 49:19
  happened naturally without having to rely on willpower or
• 49:23
  without having to, you know, read a book and say, I have to
• 49:26
  do it this. This way instead of that way, we
• 49:27
  actually get your brain to think differently.
• 49:30
  Yeah, I was, as you were saying that I was thinking of, you
• 49:33
  know, for my talk, I'm thinking of the three steps to to healing
• 49:36
  or three steps to generational freedom because it's a big
• 49:39
  theme. And in my life and work is
• 49:40
  generational freedom, not just generational wealth.
• 49:43
  And that has a big internal component to it, which is what
• 49:45
  we're talking about. And I struggled with addictive
• 49:49
  personality. My as long as I can remember,
• 49:52
  you know, I was over accomplished or I was a
• 49:54
  workaholic. I was a food addict, I was a
• 49:57
  relationship addict. I had like, you know, smoking
• 49:59
  everyday, all these things. And it was always so hard for me
• 50:03
  because I would go to therapy or whatever and my biggest
• 50:07
  addiction was food addiction my whole life.
• 50:09
  And it was like, willpower doesn't work because when I had
• 50:14
  an urge to eat whatever was in front of me or whatever, it
• 50:19
  wasn't like I wasn't there. I didn't feel like I was in my
• 50:22
  body or had a conscious decision to say, oh, no, I'm not going to
• 50:25
  have that because I wasn't. It was a autopilot.
• 50:28
  It was just that behavior is like, OK, that's the trigger.
• 50:32
  Whatever the trigger was, this is the the reward, which was the
• 50:35
  food or the cookie or the whatever it was.
• 50:38
  And then I would have the reward.
• 50:39
  And then it wasn't till after that I was like, like, I wish I
• 50:41
  had control over doing that. So how would this process in
• 50:45
  that type of example, call it any behavioral addiction, like
• 50:50
  let's say smoking and you just grab your vape or your your
• 50:54
  cigarette all the time or whatever.
• 50:56
  How does how would you work to like reprogram a behavior like
• 51:01
  that through your process? So the example that you shared
• 51:04
  with food addiction is something that I deal with all the time in
• 51:06
  my practice most likely. So in terms of that sequence, so
• 51:10
  with the behavior markers that we track there are out of nine
• 51:14
  for our outwardly presenting behavior mechanisms and how they
• 51:19
  unfold chronologically. So most likely for you where the
• 51:23
  food addiction was was not in first or second position, it was
• 51:27
  probably in 3rd or 4th position. So the way that I would deal
• 51:31
  with it is likely you were doing something in those early stages
• 51:35
  that had nothing in your mind. It's completely separate of the
• 51:38
  food addiction. So even the trigger that you're
• 51:40
  probably tracking like this trigger and then I would act out
• 51:43
  the food addictive behavior. That's actually likely not.
• 51:47
  That's maybe the closest trigger to the actual food addiction,
• 51:50
  but it's not the ultimate trigger of the food addiction.
• 51:53
  Something happened earlier in the cycle.
• 51:55
  So that is our way of addressing it is figuring out if I find
• 51:59
  this in point like this, I call it the strongman in my work.
• 52:02
  If I understand where the strongman is, that will end up
• 52:06
  becoming the puppet master of all of these consequential
• 52:09
  behaviors. I can stop the whole system.
• 52:11
  And This is why, even with things like heroin addiction,
• 52:14
  smoking something that was so hard for somebody all of a
• 52:17
  sudden is not hard. And it feels like magic because
• 52:20
  we just got it at the right point.
• 52:22
  So it could come from the perfectionism.
• 52:24
  It could come from thinking that something has to happen a
• 52:27
  certain way. If it goes S on you, then you're
• 52:30
  looking for something to satiate yourself.
• 52:32
  There's so many things that could happen along the way.
• 52:34
  It would be my job using your brain pattern map to figure out
• 52:38
  how to stop the food addiction long before you're ever even
• 52:42
  thinking about reaching for food, so that it's never
• 52:44
  something that you would reach for.
• 52:46
  Sounds like magic. It's, it's so scientific, but it
• 52:50
  does feel like magic because it makes these things that for many
• 52:54
  people they've struggled with for years and it feels complex
• 52:58
  and overwhelming. It distills it down into
• 53:00
  something that can be easily repeated.
• 53:03
  And I've seen it work for everybody.
• 53:05
  I have done this in the prison system with inmates that have
• 53:08
  below a third grade education level.
• 53:10
  I've worked with high level CE OS, I work with 7-8 year old, 9
• 53:14
  year old clients all the time. I've worked with at risk teens.
• 53:17
  I've seen the same system work with every single person,
• 53:20
  regardless of how pronounced their mental health issues are.
• 53:24
  I've also dealt with a lot of people who are just C-Suite
• 53:27
  executives that are like, I know I could be better.
• 53:29
  Like let's just, I don't know, I'm just, I'm bored.
• 53:32
  I need, I have one client right now who top of his career,
• 53:35
  everything he's ever done, he's gone to the top.
• 53:37
  He's like, I just feel like I'm in an existential crisis and I'm
• 53:40
  like, hi, me, I'll tell you why you're in an existential crisis
• 53:43
  right now. So cuz sometimes you get to the
• 53:46
  top of so many things that you're like, well, shit, what do
• 53:48
  I do now? And I have a lot of clients like
• 53:50
  that. So for this to work with the guy
• 53:53
  who has everything and the private jet and all the things
• 53:56
  and they're like, why do I, why do I feel so empty?
• 53:58
  If it can work with that and it can work with an inmate who's
• 54:01
  serving a 30 year sentence that has a second or third grade
• 54:04
  education level, it just works. And it it doesn't require
• 54:08
  willpower or academic prowess. You just have to put yourself
• 54:13
  into the system and allow yourself to be transformed.
• 54:17
  That's so cool, it's so inspiring.
• 54:19
  And how long have you when did you develop the break method?
• 54:22
  It's been about 11 years since I first started to create it, so
• 54:25
  it's had different iterations over time.
• 54:27
  So it started off much more seminar based where I was doing
• 54:30
  a lot of travelling seminars all over the country.
• 54:33
  Then it started to become an online program in 2017, focused
• 54:36
  on that for many years. And then in about 2021, I
• 54:40
  started to work on the technology side and the
• 54:42
  algorithm because I was doing all the diagnostic work.
• 54:46
  I was the algorithm and then I trained other people to be the
• 54:49
  algorithm. And eventually we started to see
• 54:52
  where technology was going and I realized I can actually teach an
• 54:56
  algorithm to do this and be a support tool and a predictive
• 55:00
  tool. So that's really been the last
• 55:02
  roughly year and a half that it's been full throttle in every
• 55:06
  part of the business. And I also work with
• 55:07
  corporations as well because you can do brain pattern mapping for
• 55:10
  entire teams and figure out why something is not working or why
• 55:15
  something was working. And then I put in one team
• 55:17
  member and suddenly what used to work isn't working anymore.
• 55:20
  Why? I can help explain exactly why
• 55:23
  and what you can do to fix it. That's amazing.
• 55:25
  It's fun. What I like how you were talking
• 55:28
  about because we're talking a lot about behaviors or possibly,
• 55:30
  you know, certain addictions or things like that.
• 55:32
  But then you just mentioned an executive that maybe just
• 55:36
  doesn't feel fulfilled, right? It's like something's missing.
• 55:38
  I've had it all. In the end, we and I have this.
• 55:41
  I just want more and more and more, more and more accomplished
• 55:43
  more, do more, reach more, build more, create more, right?
• 55:46
  And it's like this insatiable obsession with always growing no
• 55:50
  matter what. And I am, I am at a point where
• 55:52
  I enjoy that process. But there's also periods where
• 55:56
  I'm like, is it ever going to be enough?
• 55:58
  You know, somebody said something not to me, but I heard
• 56:02
  it and it really rotated me. He said, I'll have something
• 56:05
  that you'll never have enough. And it was like one of those
• 56:09
  goosebump moments in my body. Like, Oh my God.
• 56:11
  Like, I don't know if I'm ever going to feel like I have
• 56:13
  enough. Like if I'm ever going to really
• 56:17
  just be so present in the moment or in my life or in my existence
• 56:21
  or connected to source, Like I have these moments where I feel
• 56:24
  connected to source or the universe or even myself.
• 56:27
  And then there's most moments where I'm just doing the thing,
• 56:30
  you know, and I'm just that entrepreneur and I'm out there
• 56:33
  working and creating and doing everything.
• 56:36
  So I guess how does this help? Like if you're just most of our
• 56:41
  audiences, entrepreneurs and real estate investors, you're a
• 56:44
  high performing. Like think of someone like me.
• 56:47
  I'm a high performing person. I've done a lot of inner work.
• 56:50
  I don't have a lot of bad habits.
• 56:52
  I am pretty clear on like who I am and and what I want and what
• 56:55
  my mission is on this earth. But still feeling, you know, it
• 57:01
  never feels like it's enough or I always have to do more.
• 57:03
  How, how does this help? How like what is your process
• 57:06
  and how does that help someone that's in that position that
• 57:08
  maybe doesn't have a bunch of diagnosed mental illnesses or
• 57:11
  severe issues. They just want to be better and
• 57:15
  they want to really live the fullest life that they could
• 57:18
  possibly live. So I can certainly first speak
• 57:21
  to the high level entrepreneur and successful people. 99.9% of
• 57:26
  those people also have issues and intimate relationships.
• 57:30
  So that's one of the things where sure, maybe there's no
• 57:33
  diagnose mental illness and maybe there's no, there's no
• 57:36
  even like, you know, tangential mental illness whatsoever.
• 57:39
  But relationships prove to be more challenging or a source of
• 57:42
  more stress or something that in your mind, maybe there's this
• 57:46
  subconscious message like life would just be so much easier by
• 57:49
  myself. I mean, I know I've been there
• 57:51
  before. I'm married, I have 4 kids.
• 57:53
  I love being married, It's the best.
• 57:56
  But I'm because of where I am on that brain pattern spectrum my
• 58:00
  brains go to is it would be easier alone.
• 58:03
  I could do this easier alone. So I have to learn how to be
• 58:05
  aware of that and pour back into my marriage and not ever let my
• 58:09
  brain have an inch on that specific topic.
• 58:12
  So even with people whose lives are amazing and they've
• 58:15
  accomplished so much, there's usually one or two facets of
• 58:19
  life where if they're really honest with themselves, some
• 58:23
  change would do them good. And in the case of this person
• 58:27
  that was going through existential crisis, eventually,
• 58:30
  if you're always chasing, if you don't address why you're
• 58:34
  motivated by the chase and to learn how to, you would have, in
• 58:38
  my opinion, just from the little that I've heard, you've got to
• 58:40
  learn to separate two things. You have to learn to keep your
• 58:43
  fire going and like keep getting excited about things and being
• 58:45
  committed and passion driven because that's obviously who you
• 58:47
  are at the core. But we'd have to separate that
• 58:51
  out from some of the instinctive fear.
• 58:54
  That's almost like igniting the spark because you can have this
• 58:58
  without this, but there's a part of you right now that's
• 59:01
  connecting them together. That's that kind of connection
• 59:04
  between the subconscious and conscious for this person.
• 59:07
  Imagine you ran this pattern for I think this person's probably
• 59:11
  close to 60. When you get close to 60 and you
• 59:14
  realize, shit, I literally like, I can't, I can't run this fast,
• 59:19
  this hard for the rest of my life.
• 59:21
  Their entire identity is built around that, which is why they
• 59:24
  eventually get to this place where they're like, I don't know
• 59:26
  who I am without being able to do this.
• 59:30
  So I think for people like that, it behooves you to try to get to
• 59:34
  the root of that now when you're still young and vibrant so that
• 59:37
  you don't ever end up 50 thinking like, like, how do I
• 59:40
  don't know how to be another way?
• 59:42
  Because you, you've learned how to separate those two because
• 59:44
  you can still be you. You can still be an amazing
• 59:46
  entrepreneur and have drive, but you can also learn when to pull
• 59:50
  back into seasons of doing nothing.
• 59:52
  And for what it's worth, I think you're our brain, if we don't
• 59:55
  have the right formula, it will trigger us to pendulum swing.
• 59:59
  It's like, okay, we need to reset.
• 1:00:01
  We're going to do this like wild opposite.
• 1:00:03
  So I think This is why you went to Hawaii, right?
• 1:00:05
  Many people do that where it's like the only way for me to not
• 1:00:08
  do it this way is to just radically do things so
• 1:00:11
  differently. The key going back to the brain
• 1:00:13
  pattern spectrum, if I know exactly where you're plotted, I
• 1:00:16
  know exactly where healing is for you and where regulated and
• 1:00:20
  balanced is. I know exactly what behaviors
• 1:00:23
  and when and how we have to change them to get you back to
• 1:00:26
  that peaceful regulated state where you can like be a baller
• 1:00:29
  and a badass, but you also could be still and sit on a beach for
• 1:00:32
  two weeks and not feel pulled to do the other thing.
• 1:00:36
  Because we need to learn how to have that dynamic range.
• 1:00:38
  And typically we're one thing or the other.
• 1:00:42
  So I think for many people that are like you, life is great.
• 1:00:46
  Could it be better? Probably and probably in a
• 1:00:49
  couple of select areas. And if we can be this successful
• 1:00:55
  with the brain pattern that we've got, what other levels are
• 1:00:59
  there? That's how I would always look
• 1:01:00
  at is there's always a new level to unlock.
• 1:01:03
  And I think the biggest thing is this work will transform the way
• 1:01:07
  you engage and see other people. So even if it's not, it doesn't
• 1:01:11
  end up being for you if you manage A-Team, let's say of like
• 1:01:13
  10-15 people, whether it's this book or you work with me and
• 1:01:17
  break method, The level to which you'll be able to understand
• 1:01:21
  your staff and get through to them more effectively and
• 1:01:24
  understand what drives them and how to move the chess pieces
• 1:01:26
  around the chess board. But there it'll be such a
• 1:01:29
  significant level up that it would be like playing a
• 1:01:31
  different game entirely. Oh, I love it, yeah.
• 1:01:33
  And that's the hardest thing in this game is people, they have
• 1:01:35
  relationships. Like it's a hard and that's, and
• 1:01:38
  that's always been my biggest struggle has been relationships,
• 1:01:43
  you know, with, with everybody, but mostly with men.
• 1:01:46
  And I'm not anyone. I'm like, I just better off
• 1:01:49
  alone. I just don't, I don't need to
• 1:01:50
  get married. I don't need to have kids.
• 1:01:51
  I don't need to do all those things.
• 1:01:53
  But now that I've done this growing, I'm like, OK, well, I
• 1:01:55
  know those are fear driven. I've been, I've haven't wanted a
• 1:01:58
  marriage or kids since I was a little girl because marriage and
• 1:02:01
  kids didn't look fun to me as a little girl.
• 1:02:03
  And now I have that possibly self sabotaging pattern of I'm
• 1:02:08
  just so cut off to it. I don't even look at it.
• 1:02:09
  I don't even like, I see a guy and I don't even think of could
• 1:02:12
  you be a good prospect because I, my brain has shut itself off
• 1:02:16
  for so many years. I don't see children and think I
• 1:02:19
  want one. I see children and think of
• 1:02:21
  childhood patterns of why I don't want them, you know, And
• 1:02:24
  then part of me is like, well, am I going to go through this
• 1:02:27
  whole life and miss out on one of the biggest experiences?
• 1:02:30
  Because I always talk. I'm like, I don't want to be a
• 1:02:32
  hypocrite. I talk about I want to
• 1:02:33
  experience everything in this life and truly like embody and
• 1:02:37
  embrace life and existence and creation, but yet I'm going to
• 1:02:42
  cut off the biggest piece of it, right?
• 1:02:45
  And so I try, I'm in that point right now where I'm trying to
• 1:02:47
  challenge myself of how do I get over that idea of marriage as a
• 1:02:52
  prison? Kids will take your life and
• 1:02:56
  won't respect you and won't love you and they're just going to
• 1:02:58
  complain about you. So what's the point of even
• 1:03:00
  having them? Or, you know, I have all these
• 1:03:02
  negative belief systems in my head that I know I have to
• 1:03:04
  rewire because I could end up like 6 years old and be like,
• 1:03:07
  well, I never got married and never had a family.
• 1:03:09
  I have this big company, hopefully you know, but is that
• 1:03:13
  every everything is that all did I did I really live my life to
• 1:03:16
  the fullest and experience in the best way possible and serve
• 1:03:18
  in the best way possible so. Have some thoughts on that?
• 1:03:21
  Number one, I will say for the sake of transparency, I've had
• 1:03:25
  so many clients just like you, and I'm the godmother to many
• 1:03:29
  children who were eventually born from people who were like,
• 1:03:33
  I don't ever want to do this. So I do think that often times
• 1:03:35
  when you do heal the, that spark of possibility and even like an
• 1:03:40
  openness to maybe not like trying to make it happen, but at
• 1:03:43
  least an openness to like if it happens, then it happens.
• 1:03:46
  It can happen very quickly. So there's that side of it.
• 1:03:50
  The other thing is, and I believe this to be true from
• 1:03:55
  personal experience and working with clients, there are certain
• 1:03:58
  lessons like if you're saying like, I really want to like
• 1:04:01
  experience the fullness of life. I was always somebody that never
• 1:04:04
  want to have kids either. And I would like always knew I
• 1:04:06
  wanted to be a career woman. I just, I just always was that
• 1:04:10
  way. And my mom and dad still when
• 1:04:12
  they see me, they're like, I just can't get over the fact
• 1:04:15
  that you have 4 kids. Like no one ever thought this
• 1:04:17
  this was going to happen. Like most unlikely candidate
• 1:04:20
  ever. So I do think that there are
• 1:04:22
  certain lessons that are almost impossible to learn without
• 1:04:27
  putting yourself into that type of hardship.
• 1:04:30
  Like if you think about like containers of bad times that
• 1:04:33
  you've had and how you've kind of worked through them and
• 1:04:35
  they've bolstered you up or they've brought out skills in
• 1:04:38
  you like an entrepreneurship. If you think of like 3 times
• 1:04:40
  that things went terribly wrong, you probably actually learned a
• 1:04:44
  really valuable skill set that now you utilize in a different
• 1:04:46
  part of your business, right? It helps to grow.
• 1:04:49
  I can look back. I have, my oldest is 15, my
• 1:04:51
  youngest is 3. So they're kind of like spread
• 1:04:53
  out all the way around whether it's having a child or being
• 1:04:57
  married. And I've been married previously
• 1:04:59
  and I'm married now. They're just certain things
• 1:05:02
  where even if I intellectualize them or, or I knew them when I
• 1:05:04
  could teach them, I couldn't actually physically change and
• 1:05:08
  embody it without being in it. Like I had been married before,
• 1:05:12
  but I always was like the one foot in one foot out, never
• 1:05:15
  really, like there always was something else possibly or like
• 1:05:19
  I never really felt like it was going to be forever.
• 1:05:21
  So that meant I was never really 100% committed.
• 1:05:25
  So I wasn't able to really learn and grow from the hardship of
• 1:05:28
  being in a committed relationship because while I was
• 1:05:30
  technically married, I wasn't committed at all.
• 1:05:33
  Now I'm married to somebody and have been for seven years where
• 1:05:36
  I am, This might sound strange. I always tell people I'm like
• 1:05:39
  even more committed than I am in love, which I'm so in love with
• 1:05:42
  my husband. But I'm like more than anything
• 1:05:44
  else, I knew from my pattern, my commitment had to be the most
• 1:05:48
  important thing. So like with my husband, I've
• 1:05:50
  never thought of a backup plan. I've never like none of that.
• 1:05:53
  And all of the lessons that I still had yet to learn, that I
• 1:05:57
  knew how to teach other people, I've been able to actually
• 1:05:59
  personally grow through the hardship over the last couple of
• 1:06:02
  years. So I do think if you like rise
• 1:06:04
  up and look at it from a spiritual perspective, I don't
• 1:06:07
  think I would know things intellectually, but I wouldn't
• 1:06:10
  feel them. They wouldn't be like a part of
• 1:06:11
  who I am at the cellular DNA level without having lived
• 1:06:14
  through them. And they just, they change you.
• 1:06:17
  And it does suck sometimes having kids can be.
• 1:06:21
  It can be. Really rough.
• 1:06:22
  My oldest daughter has cerebral palsy.
• 1:06:23
  She died for 20 minutes during her birth, so the first few
• 1:06:27
  years of my life were with her. We're very traumatizing, so much
• 1:06:31
  so that her biological dad committed suicide when she was
• 1:06:33
  2. So it was like a really rough
• 1:06:35
  period of two years. So I'm not going to sit here and
• 1:06:37
  lie to you and say that it's all going to be easy, but if it's
• 1:06:40
  ever something that finds its way to you, I'm a testament.
• 1:06:46
  I, you can be a successful entrepreneur and have everything
• 1:06:48
  and have a whole gaggle of kids following you around that, you
• 1:06:53
  know, 2, I have two boys, 2 girls, my girls, even my
• 1:06:56
  daughter Harley, she's 4. The other day she like grabbed
• 1:06:59
  her cell phone and like had a bunch of crap in her hand in her
• 1:07:02
  purse and she was like walking around like a boss and my
• 1:07:04
  husband's like, what, what have we done?
• 1:07:06
  She already like wants to run businesses.
• 1:07:08
  She's 4. She's on, she's pretending to be
• 1:07:11
  on her cell phone. Like, yeah, I can't talk right
• 1:07:13
  now. I'm I'm sorry, just I can't talk
• 1:07:15
  right now. Just pretending to be me.
• 1:07:17
  So there's something to be said for I really believe what I'm
• 1:07:20
  about to say. And I've, I've said it to a few
• 1:07:22
  other women, I think where we find ourselves in the world
• 1:07:25
  right now, many of the people that don't want to have kids
• 1:07:29
  because they don't feel like they need that to complete
• 1:07:32
  themselves, Like I don't need that.
• 1:07:34
  It's not part of my identity. You're the ones that should have
• 1:07:38
  kids. You know, it's the people that
• 1:07:40
  like, I need to do this because it's who I am.
• 1:07:42
  They end up creating these kind of bizarre codependent
• 1:07:45
  relationships with their kids where they like, need to pull
• 1:07:47
  from their kids. Think about you're such a badass
• 1:07:50
  woman. Imagine what you can share with
• 1:07:52
  another woman. You can completely break the
• 1:07:55
  generational cycle. Just you.
• 1:07:57
  I know I'm like, I'm doing all this healing and then it's going
• 1:07:59
  to end with me. Like that sucks.
• 1:08:01
  I don't. Believe it.
• 1:08:03
  No, it's, it's so true. And it's, it's just always like
• 1:08:06
  we just as entrepreneurs, as people, as individuals, as
• 1:08:08
  humans, we have to keep growing and we have to keep questioning
• 1:08:13
  everything. And that then just being
• 1:08:14
  genuinely curious about everything in ourselves and not
• 1:08:18
  just believing the bias that we're told or that we believe or
• 1:08:21
  that we know to be true because we have to keep questioning and
• 1:08:24
  we have to keep growing. And, and it's, it's an
• 1:08:26
  experience. And that's why it's the life
• 1:08:28
  experience. And it's, we got one that we
• 1:08:30
  know of, you know, and we might as well live it to the fullest
• 1:08:33
  and push ourselves and do the hard things like do lean into
• 1:08:37
  the, the pain, lean into the things that we resist.
• 1:08:40
  And usually everything great is on the other side of fear and,
• 1:08:46
  and discomfort. And so it's really cool.
• 1:08:48
  I know we got to wrap up, but I'm super excited to read your
• 1:08:51
  book, 720 pages of it. I can't wait.
• 1:08:55
  And no, it's, it's great. And for all of the all of you
• 1:08:59
  out there, push yourself to do the hard things, to do the
• 1:09:03
  things that you don't think that there's an ROI on a spreadsheet
• 1:09:07
  because the real estate investment deal isn't working
• 1:09:09
  out or this investment in the business isn't going to produce
• 1:09:12
  a direct return. But this type of work is the
• 1:09:16
  greatest thing that you could possibly do to grow.
• 1:09:18
  At least that's what I found from my experience.
• 1:09:21
  And just to feel better and feel connected and be a better person
• 1:09:24
  and be your best self. Because if you don't show up as
• 1:09:27
  your best self, then you're not only robbing yourself, but
• 1:09:31
  you're robbing everyone. You're robbing the world of, of
• 1:09:34
  your gift. And when we're shadowed by the,
• 1:09:37
  our shadow, when we're consumed by our shadows, then we can't
• 1:09:40
  show up our best. And you know, our lightest
• 1:09:43
  energy and our fullest love and all these things.
• 1:09:45
  So thank you. Thank you for the work that
• 1:09:48
  you're doing. Thank you for sharing this
• 1:09:49
  message. Thank you for your new book.
• 1:09:51
  And I'm excited to go through the process.
• 1:09:54
  Awesome. Thank you so much for having me.
• 1:09:56
  Of course.