Latest / Dear Son, / Dear Son, There's Only Now | Ep 186 | The Dear Son, Show

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Dear Son, There's Only Now | Ep 186 | The Dear Son, Show · Dear Son,

0:00
[SPEAKER_02]: My son of 20 years old, is his birthday, and I call him, hey man, have the birthday.
0:06
[SPEAKER_02]: What you got shaking, he was like, I don't know, man, I'm my friends and everybody tell me, just get your ass and stand by immediately.
0:13
[SPEAKER_02]: I slid into a condom conversation with him.
0:16
[SPEAKER_01]: Now, now it's time.
0:18
[SPEAKER_01]: Well, no, no, this is not the first.
0:19
[SPEAKER_01]: It's also the time now.
0:20
[SPEAKER_02]: It's the time, because you don't even know what the night hold.
0:24
[SPEAKER_02]: Take that idea, I won't, I don't care.
0:26
[SPEAKER_02]: But you better get in touch with realities, young men and college.
0:30
[SPEAKER_02]: And this generation, these are some aggressive young women.
0:32
[SPEAKER_02]: And by the way, these women, oh my goodness.
0:34
[SPEAKER_02]: He was like, hey, you know, just like the fourth and fifth time we had this conversation.
0:38
[SPEAKER_02]: That's cool.
0:39
[SPEAKER_02]: You'll never say you didn't get it.
0:40
[SPEAKER_02]: Yes, there are some redundancies that we need to avoid as parents.
0:45
[SPEAKER_02]: But buddy, there are some things that if you got to yell it off the mountain top 20 times.
0:51
[SPEAKER_02]: Because of the ramifications, have life-long implications.
0:56
[SPEAKER_02]: I'm hoping that sparks some parents to take action because we'd be like, I hear a lot of parents that say, When is the time?
1:06
[SPEAKER_02]: When do I say something?
1:08
[SPEAKER_02]: If you're asking that, it's time.
1:10
[SPEAKER_01]: The next time is now.
1:12
[SPEAKER_01]: You missed the time.
1:13
[SPEAKER_01]: You missed the time.
1:19
[SPEAKER_02]: And we live, welcome to the Dead Sun Show, where we have real life meaningful conversations to help young boys and young men realize today what we wish we knew then.
1:29
[SPEAKER_02]: I'm one of your oaths, Jay Black.
1:31
[SPEAKER_01]: Dee Johnson, other hosts.
1:32
[SPEAKER_01]: What's up, good brother?
1:34
[SPEAKER_01]: In here, brother.
1:34
[SPEAKER_01]: In here.
1:35
[SPEAKER_01]: In here, alive and with, alive and with.
1:37
[SPEAKER_01]: How do we been going for you?
1:39
[SPEAKER_01]: We can spend a lot of, man, man.
1:41
[SPEAKER_01]: So like it and done.
1:42
[SPEAKER_01]: Yeah, I've been at the computer.
1:44
[SPEAKER_01]: on that edit for about four times a year about, you don't even know that align with the top of the show.
1:52
[SPEAKER_02]: Chances off.
1:54
[SPEAKER_02]: How are you feeling?
1:55
[SPEAKER_02]: How can you do it, man?
1:56
[SPEAKER_02]: I'm a lot of revelations.
1:59
[SPEAKER_02]: A lot of revealing is almost like life has shifted into a revealing phase and I'm welcome it.
2:07
[SPEAKER_02]: I love it.
2:08
[SPEAKER_02]: I love it.
2:09
[SPEAKER_02]: Everything good, man.
2:10
[SPEAKER_02]: This, this, this, this, this,
2:12
[SPEAKER_02]: intro slow intro to spring summer yeah I am tripping I like it because it ain't ballin' hot yet but we good yeah we saw a few days of the 90s then I got a little concern I thought I thought it was here yeah I walkin' this yeah I walkin' this I agree we're gonna get right to it man today's topic is deer sun the time is now
2:41
[SPEAKER_03]: I promise you, we don't call it a day.
2:44
[SPEAKER_01]: I promise we don't.
2:45
[SPEAKER_01]: Oh.
2:48
[SPEAKER_03]: Me, it's, it's a, I've said a lot that is go time was got to be.
2:54
[SPEAKER_03]: Bro, it is.
2:54
[SPEAKER_03]: Oh.
2:57
[SPEAKER_03]: Highly critical.
3:00
[SPEAKER_03]: Life threatening.
3:02
[SPEAKER_01]: There's something has to, uh, something has to shake now.
3:06
[SPEAKER_01]: Yeah.
3:11
[SPEAKER_01]: but it needs to make sense.
3:13
[SPEAKER_01]: Yeah.
3:14
[SPEAKER_01]: Right now we're clapping.
3:15
[SPEAKER_02]: Right now we're clapping.
3:16
[SPEAKER_01]: Right now we're clapping.
3:17
[SPEAKER_02]: Yeah, saying with me, I'm, I saw a video that kind of brought it all home for me.
3:25
[SPEAKER_02]: Shout out to credit this thought to earn your leisure.
3:30
[SPEAKER_02]: They made a comment that there was a conversation ahead that said, you got about four years before this thing.
3:40
[SPEAKER_02]: shift of a lifetime.
3:41
[SPEAKER_00]: Yeah.
3:42
[SPEAKER_02]: It's expected AI is going to take over everything in the next four years.
3:47
[SPEAKER_02]: So that that calls me to put a lot of the things that perspective.
3:51
[SPEAKER_02]: Time and wise.
3:53
[SPEAKER_02]: The time is now.
3:54
[SPEAKER_02]: The the having on your side all the mindset as a young man that I mean, I get to that.
4:04
[SPEAKER_02]: Youth on my side.
4:07
[SPEAKER_02]: the tone of the the episode is going to be geared towards not later right now like so just just without too much foreshadowed that's the tone so right now right now our sons are
4:34
[SPEAKER_02]: and I can honestly say that I took for granted my transitional phases in life, especially at that age.
4:47
[SPEAKER_02]: On par with our last conversation of the last episode, depending on when this is the last conversation that the public saw from here was about not barking, same message different tone.
5:01
[SPEAKER_02]: How?
5:02
[SPEAKER_02]: for the parents at home because that resonated with a lot of parents.
5:06
[SPEAKER_02]: What is an effective way or mindset to convey the thought?
5:13
[SPEAKER_03]: Yes, you're young.
5:15
[SPEAKER_03]: No, you do not have forever.
5:18
[SPEAKER_03]: As you were dropping the subject, a few minutes ago,
5:31
[SPEAKER_03]: soon is relative.
5:35
[SPEAKER_03]: But it means the same thing in every generation.
5:38
[SPEAKER_03]: Yes, right?
5:39
[SPEAKER_03]: Yes.
5:42
[SPEAKER_01]: Because our children only know quickly shifting as how the world operates, I wonder if they look at our version of things that happen quickly as
5:58
[SPEAKER_01]: antiquated.
5:59
[SPEAKER_01]: We were used to the same thing we would relate if you had a parent that came from the factory.
6:05
[SPEAKER_01]: They would probably tell you a thing about how soon something's going to happen.
6:12
[SPEAKER_01]: If you had that kind of relationship and that kind of open conversation and to them, their reference, their lens suggested that what was happening in their time was much quicker.
6:24
[SPEAKER_01]: than what was referenced as they grew up.
6:26
[SPEAKER_01]: Yeah.
6:27
[SPEAKER_01]: So even as you said that in the fact that you asked how do you communicate that in my day is not enough.
6:36
[SPEAKER_01]: And you know, when I came up, XYZ, now again I've said it before, I think I was generation.
6:43
[SPEAKER_01]: If we choose to pay attention, we've seen probably more shifts, I imagine there may be some data to prove otherwise, but I imagine that we've seen more shifts in our lifetime than any previous generation, and I chose to have even more than that.
6:56
[SPEAKER_01]: I agree.
6:57
[SPEAKER_01]: So I think what's important in terms of effect the communication now is something that we, that I claimed if you want to, it took for granted, previously is
7:09
[SPEAKER_01]: Communication is not me telling you a thing right right in that's the end of right right right It's not even making sure that you understood what I see it It's understanding your perspective everything like so for the sake of this conversation Telling them that things that move in fast
7:31
[SPEAKER_01]: Some would it's fast to you.
7:32
[SPEAKER_01]: Exactly.
7:33
[SPEAKER_01]: Yes, because if if I can Like this made everything fat and I'm holding the phone for those on the audio the phone made everything fast for Origin of race that was unimaginable.
7:42
[SPEAKER_01]: Mm-hmm.
7:43
[SPEAKER_01]: They can't imagine life without Right, but that's it.
7:48
[SPEAKER_01]: Yeah, right a y'all time to y'all, you know, I'm saying like Only imagine what those conversations would be two or three generations from now.
7:55
[SPEAKER_01]: So I think Was was a becoming
8:01
[SPEAKER_01]: with Stan from the mind and me is more.
8:05
[SPEAKER_01]: What do you think about this?
8:06
[SPEAKER_01]: What do you understand about this?
8:08
[SPEAKER_01]: Because those are two different things.
8:09
[SPEAKER_01]: We can have a conversation about thoughts and think we're crushing it.
8:14
[SPEAKER_01]: Which is cool, right?
8:15
[SPEAKER_01]: But the thought should provoke one of us to do something more or understand differently.
8:23
[SPEAKER_01]: Otherwise, we just confirm it with each other things.
8:25
[SPEAKER_01]: Shit chat, right?
8:27
[SPEAKER_02]: I agree.
8:28
[SPEAKER_02]: Shit chat, shit, and vote action.
8:30
[SPEAKER_02]: Big thing you said stood out to me was about,
8:34
[SPEAKER_02]: that conversation, our generation has a habit of starting that fear of conversation with, in my time, in my day, not realizing we just kind of invalidated, you just made what you're saying, non-valid to a modern day.
8:54
[SPEAKER_02]: this generation human being because I don't want to leave anybody out.
8:57
[SPEAKER_02]: The boys, the girls, the young men, the young women.
9:00
[SPEAKER_02]: The minute you say in my day, they've already turned the switch into, what is not your day?
9:05
[SPEAKER_02]: It's not applicable.
9:06
[SPEAKER_02]: It's not applicable.
9:07
[SPEAKER_02]: The times don't match up, you out of your own words.
9:10
[SPEAKER_02]: They'll use your words against you in that scenario where you see it.
9:14
[SPEAKER_02]: modern time now is like years ahead of your time.
9:18
[SPEAKER_02]: So that thing you're about to talk about that Chuck wagon in horse.
9:21
[SPEAKER_02]: I don't want to talk about that even more.
9:23
[SPEAKER_02]: You like what way to admit it is easy to get offended or feel slighted like hey, man, but but the lesson still applies, we know that, but they don't.
9:33
[SPEAKER_02]: So that's why to your point, the approach of starting the conversation with finding their baseline of understanding.
9:41
[SPEAKER_02]: and build in from there and you find it a way to tie the two.
9:46
[SPEAKER_02]: They don't have that as a reference point.
9:49
[SPEAKER_02]: They weren't there.
9:51
[SPEAKER_02]: So we can harp on it all day long, but if they don't have anything to compare it to, a lot of this generation or visual hands-on learners, like the imagination of technology just not being able to produce that thing.
10:12
[SPEAKER_02]: And nothing is left to the imagination today.
10:15
[SPEAKER_02]: I can press a button and it's here.
10:17
[SPEAKER_02]: From words, from words, absolutely.
10:20
[SPEAKER_02]: I could take a picture of something to say, what is this?
10:22
[SPEAKER_02]: And it'll give it to me right now.
10:24
[SPEAKER_02]: The days of research, the days of digging, the days of planning a sea, watering it, nurturing it, and watching it grow into a finished product.
10:35
[SPEAKER_02]: That's not so much a thing anymore, because now,
10:38
[SPEAKER_02]: It's like this the that when that toy came out by the till and myself the toy came out years ago when we were children The wrong you dropped his little peep the peep the water the bus in the pair rop Not as rich for night
10:54
[SPEAKER_02]: shots.
10:58
[SPEAKER_02]: So, because that was the most instantaneous thing of gratification, we had.
11:04
[SPEAKER_02]: Whereas now, man, they turn on video games and it looks like you're actually sitting in the room with these figures.
11:13
[SPEAKER_02]: So, that's very valid of us.
11:19
[SPEAKER_02]: We're always saying what these children need to learn.
11:23
[SPEAKER_02]: Parents are behind the curve on what we need to learn.
11:27
[SPEAKER_02]: We are so stuck in our ways that we're missing the now.
11:33
[SPEAKER_02]: The time is now from a parental standpoint.
11:38
[SPEAKER_02]: You're behind the curve.
11:39
[SPEAKER_02]: And if you keep existing in yesterday, man, these next four or five years are gonna absolutely put you in a place that you do not want to be.
11:53
[SPEAKER_01]: are really an interesting point because what also happened as technology advances, whatever gap is in a relationship that doesn't pace with that as well, gets exponentially bigger.
12:09
[SPEAKER_01]: Right.
12:10
[SPEAKER_01]: So like you said, the kids are indoctrinated into AI to a degree or a least.
12:16
[SPEAKER_01]: their minds, it's not a big shift in their minds.
12:20
[SPEAKER_01]: It's to understand the AI as a thing, right?
12:23
[SPEAKER_01]: Because there's no reference for most of them, pre-AI in terms of them caring about what happens in the world.
12:30
[SPEAKER_01]: But if as parents, we stay comfortable with what has gotten us this far, even if we are far enough to carry us through, until the end of our days, we become highly unrelated.
12:44
[SPEAKER_01]: And now, you lose the ability to give them guidance in other parts of life, right?
12:49
[SPEAKER_01]: I may never understand AI like Ela or Elijah Magrandor, oh yeah, she...
12:59
[SPEAKER_01]: It's all, I mean, I can't believe it opponent enough, or maybe I have, like...
13:03
[SPEAKER_01]: When they look at something, would they understand it to be and having no prior reference to anything else existing?
13:10
[SPEAKER_02]: Yes.
13:11
[SPEAKER_01]: I thought it was wild to see my kids knowing the phone for being a phone.
13:16
[SPEAKER_01]: But seeing my granddaughter walk around the house and the things that she notices about how life is.
13:24
[SPEAKER_01]: It's almost scary that life is going to go this quick form.
13:27
[SPEAKER_01]: But again, generation over generation, my grandmother,
13:32
[SPEAKER_01]: My grandma, the both my grandmother's had passed, but all she ever wanted was a 1984 Dodge Aries K-car.
13:39
[SPEAKER_01]: Yeah.
13:40
[SPEAKER_01]: I mean, she lived until 2019, but that's as far as her.
13:45
[SPEAKER_01]: Desire for technology for mechanics.
13:49
[SPEAKER_01]: Yeah, like that's as far as it went and now week week These children are probably in the era where cars may not have wheels the way they operate today Certainly, I don't know the they're gonna fly.
14:01
[SPEAKER_01]: I don't know what it is But for for us to watch the Jackson's and see so much of the Jackson's in real life
14:08
[SPEAKER_01]: And that's all we'll take now is the, it's, it's, it's a little daunting, so, so, to right off the fact that life is moving fast and staying comfortable with how fast, like move for us, and staying stuck there, I think we risked that, again, that relatability to have a meaningful relationship with our children and at what the cause, because man, I'm glad you said that
14:37
[SPEAKER_02]: It's sparked a question and I'm asking the question not out of rhetoric, but for the audience to kind of draw some thought process in them as well, because we are tied to reference points that are antiquated and pre current times.
14:57
[SPEAKER_02]: We're straddling the fence, you know, sometimes we can't even help it, because that we see necessity and being familiar and tired to that side as well as the new.
15:09
[SPEAKER_02]: Are we capable as this generational parent of, I've brought you as far as I can.
15:17
[SPEAKER_02]: I got to hand you off.
15:20
[SPEAKER_02]: release you, not throw you off, not a, I don't mean like that.
15:25
[SPEAKER_02]: I mean, if I see that technology can speed you along, pay you at the pace that's necessary for this time.
15:34
[SPEAKER_02]: Do I become an anchor, holding you back because it's like, whoa, you're moving too fast, son, don't, don't get so
15:45
[SPEAKER_02]: you'll be the very hindrance that becomes a ceiling to your very existence because you're holding your generation back.
15:53
[SPEAKER_02]: Your generation is ready.
15:54
[SPEAKER_02]: They're empty, built for this, because you don't understand it.
15:58
[SPEAKER_02]: You won't release it and let it happen.
16:01
[SPEAKER_02]: And perhaps they come back and kind of bring you along.
16:04
[SPEAKER_02]: The pride of being that done that you got to listen to me.
16:08
[SPEAKER_02]: I've survived, you survived, they're trying to thrive.
16:15
[SPEAKER_02]: and if just because we don't understand what the modern motion is, we have to be careful as parents not to be the said back that caused you to be light years behind imagine five years being light years behind something.
16:32
[SPEAKER_02]: But that's the pace that society is moving right now.
16:40
[SPEAKER_02]: trying to insert my old habits and ways on my son and he humored me in the conversation, but I'm glad that we have such a jovial relationship that he can poke at me in the conversation like this.
17:00
[SPEAKER_02]: Who doing that?
17:02
[SPEAKER_02]: And we laugh about it.
17:03
[SPEAKER_02]: There are dads out here that will take
17:11
[SPEAKER_02]: Back to, I know there was a lot of thought, but back to what's your thoughts on, I got to release you and trust the process of
17:23
[SPEAKER_02]: I see that you do have some insight or vision for this new thing that I perhaps or do you even feel like that.
17:29
[SPEAKER_02]: I only want to just throw that emotion on you.
17:32
[SPEAKER_02]: Do you even feel like I see things in my sons, daughters that they're going to
17:45
[SPEAKER_01]: any resource that can take them where they need to be.
17:48
[SPEAKER_01]: Beyond why I can take them, I'm open to that.
17:51
[SPEAKER_01]: I'm open to that.
17:53
[SPEAKER_01]: Because I went through that with my parents, though I prematurely cut them all from conversation that I just assumed.
18:02
[SPEAKER_01]: And I don't want that to happen.
18:04
[SPEAKER_01]: I don't want that to happen with me, so I don't want to be so you got it, even though I have made that reference a lot, like to wear
18:12
[SPEAKER_01]: their focus becomes impressing me and not consulting me for anything.
18:18
[SPEAKER_01]: Yeah.
18:20
[SPEAKER_01]: You know, I mean, I get that the feedback that I give you or the information that I give you is only information and after certainties, it is, you know, saying, I never want to lose that desire to consult me about things, even if it's that I'm going to do this.
18:38
[SPEAKER_01]: I'm going to do this after this conversation.
18:41
[SPEAKER_01]: I'm just maybe, maybe you have some thoughts on it.
18:45
[SPEAKER_01]: But when you made the reference to anchor, it got me thinking that anchors can be negative.
18:51
[SPEAKER_01]: And negative is probably wrong.
18:54
[SPEAKER_01]: And negative can be restrictive, and that can also be a safety.
18:58
[SPEAKER_01]: Yes, right.
19:00
[SPEAKER_01]: So I want to remain the anchor to principles.
19:07
[SPEAKER_01]: You know what I'm saying, but because, like the reference I made before, growing up without access to everything at your fingertips, things came through a filter, pros and cons, there.
19:19
[SPEAKER_01]: But because nothing now is through a filter, that filter less than every idea becomes probably holds as much weight as the next idea, especially now where AI realities are
19:37
[SPEAKER_01]: That can be an argument that it's not true.
19:40
[SPEAKER_01]: Reality is what they go through.
19:41
[SPEAKER_01]: I'm sorry.
19:42
[SPEAKER_01]: What they see.
19:43
[SPEAKER_01]: It could be nothing like what you went through.
19:45
[SPEAKER_01]: It probably is nothing like what you went through.
19:48
[SPEAKER_01]: Probably is nothing like what your neighbors chose.
19:49
[SPEAKER_01]: Like it's.
19:52
[SPEAKER_01]: It's too much coming at them, they have too much access to too many things that shape what reality is for them even in the moment.
20:00
[SPEAKER_01]: This.
20:00
[SPEAKER_01]: And when you are not anchored to a principal in that reality, you make momentary decisions that change the course of your life or even the course of our family, our family name for generations to come.
20:15
[SPEAKER_01]: So I want to remain an anchor in the sense of,
20:20
[SPEAKER_01]: Man, like life is crazy, I know my dad going, they're at least he gonna get me there.
20:24
[SPEAKER_01]: Prospect, like I still feel like they're about my fault.
20:26
[SPEAKER_01]: I'm sorry.
20:27
[SPEAKER_01]: The fact that my father, every time they visit, I come down upstairs to just catch him, glasses off, looking at his phone.
20:34
[SPEAKER_01]: Yeah.
20:35
[SPEAKER_01]: This is the guy that did one of DCR and I've seen it because why would you open yourself because we can we can go to movies.
20:44
[SPEAKER_01]: Yeah.
20:45
[SPEAKER_01]: Yeah.
20:46
[SPEAKER_01]: I still don't know.
20:47
[SPEAKER_01]: Yeah.
20:48
[SPEAKER_01]: That one is right.
20:49
[SPEAKER_01]: But why open yourself to what they're putting in there and you're like, this is I've seen this progression over time.
20:56
[SPEAKER_01]: Yeah.
20:57
[SPEAKER_01]: Right.
20:57
[SPEAKER_01]: To now where it's.
20:59
[SPEAKER_01]: He doesn't even ask about what he does and no, he goes his phone.
21:02
[SPEAKER_02]: That's what I'm talking about.
21:04
[SPEAKER_01]: And I'm like, who are you, but the times want to allow him to not stay aware, at least.
21:14
[SPEAKER_01]: You know, I said, but he still remains principle.
21:18
[SPEAKER_01]: For him, it's still does that the Lord.
21:20
[SPEAKER_01]: Yeah.
21:21
[SPEAKER_01]: Right?
21:21
[SPEAKER_01]: And it says, I'll give him this about how that was captured.
21:24
[SPEAKER_01]: Right.
21:25
[SPEAKER_01]: But you got to stand on the thing.
21:28
[SPEAKER_01]: not to your detriment, but to your sanity.
21:33
[SPEAKER_01]: It's got to be something to just stand on something.
21:35
[SPEAKER_01]: Because there are plenty of proofs from who we had the mock trial, and they said, what is proof?
21:43
[SPEAKER_01]: And everybody had a slightly different spend.
21:46
[SPEAKER_01]: It was like, well, you're not describing proof at all, you're describing what you're comfortable with.
21:50
[SPEAKER_01]: Exactly.
21:50
[SPEAKER_01]: And I don't want my kids going through life with comfort being the standard of our operating.
21:59
[SPEAKER_02]: A dollar worth of dimes, listen, that was a bag of gems, man, I'm trying to hold them all.
22:06
[SPEAKER_02]: The biggest one that stood out is be careful of.
22:10
[SPEAKER_02]: You will, you will overexplain or justify yourself to emptiness.
22:16
[SPEAKER_02]: Trying to, trying to make sense of a thing, because that's to your point of like you said, thus said the Lord, now you're talking about, you're so busy trying to disprove everything that's presented to you, that you're not listening.
22:33
[SPEAKER_02]: You're not paying attention to the morality, the point, the value of what's being presented to you, you're listening with the era of
22:41
[SPEAKER_02]: where's the loophole?
22:42
[SPEAKER_02]: How do I disprove this?
22:44
[SPEAKER_02]: And that's actually a stamp on modern day society.
22:48
[SPEAKER_03]: Our government is the epitome of running yourself to emptiness.
22:58
[SPEAKER_02]: It was built on an ideal
23:09
[SPEAKER_02]: put into place that that became the new norm.
23:13
[SPEAKER_02]: So the standard no longer was the standard, the standard was the bump disproved the standard.
23:20
[SPEAKER_02]: Let me find a way to say that the standard is no longer the standard.
23:26
[SPEAKER_02]: What's the new standard then?
23:28
[SPEAKER_02]: The new standard's challenge.
23:34
[SPEAKER_02]: where are you now?
23:35
[SPEAKER_02]: You don't even remember where you began or why.
23:37
[SPEAKER_02]: It's like running into a person y'all have been in an argument for 15 years.
23:43
[SPEAKER_02]: And if you ask either of them, hey, how did this start?
23:46
[SPEAKER_02]: I don't know, man.
23:47
[SPEAKER_02]: I just don't like that dude.
23:49
[SPEAKER_02]: 15 years.
23:51
[SPEAKER_02]: You no longer even know what the original disagreement was.
23:54
[SPEAKER_02]: So that brings me back to another gym you dropped is the responsibility
24:00
[SPEAKER_02]: not good or bad, but the anchor to reality, whatever that is, and to the morality, and I'm going to keep saying the word morality and responsibility, and there's so many things that are that are slowly dissipating, that's just going away.
24:20
[SPEAKER_02]: to where now you don't even recognize what a human being is and so that's actually we've got to be careful with that because that's now creating an environment that's welcoming to I don't know what's real or what's fake anymore.
24:36
[SPEAKER_02]: But there's no such thing as real of fake anymore it's all so now I have the first blurred alliance after he raised these boundaries so that these boundaries no longer exist
24:51
[SPEAKER_02]: you're scattered about.
24:53
[SPEAKER_02]: You'll allow yourself to do anything.
24:55
[SPEAKER_02]: I can talk you into anything if you feel like everything is possible.
25:00
[SPEAKER_02]: Just because something is quote-unquote possible doesn't mean it should be obtained.
25:07
[SPEAKER_02]: It should be even secret.
25:09
[SPEAKER_02]: It was good.
25:10
[SPEAKER_02]: You know what I mean?
25:11
[SPEAKER_02]: Like we're so busy trying to expand our horizons and we stopped asking ourselves at what cost.
25:20
[SPEAKER_02]: The waters.
25:21
[SPEAKER_02]: Right.
25:21
[SPEAKER_02]: So now they're telling us the thing that we've fallen in love with because it's so easy.
25:26
[SPEAKER_02]: It's so convenient, AI.
25:28
[SPEAKER_02]: I'm not bashing AI, but we have to always be mindful of at what cost.
25:33
[SPEAKER_02]: They say by the time five people submit an AI request, it uses up a bottle of water.
25:42
[SPEAKER_03]: And here we are.
25:44
[SPEAKER_03]: The amount of water it takes to cool this technology.
25:51
[SPEAKER_02]: We're mass consumers of anything that we fall in love with as human beings.
25:56
[SPEAKER_02]: We are mass-consuming the earth, period.
26:01
[SPEAKER_02]: Relationships are falling by the wayside, I don't care about that anymore, what a money yet.
26:06
[SPEAKER_02]: I don't care about doing this the right way, cut the corner, what a money yet.
26:09
[SPEAKER_02]: What's the bottom line, hold on, hold on, you're in the health field, you're in the
26:20
[SPEAKER_02]: I can serve three people at the level you're talking and it's going to cost me this.
26:26
[SPEAKER_02]: But if I just make sure to y'all cool, I'm care about you being excellent.
26:30
[SPEAKER_02]: If you're cool, my bottom line goes up.
26:34
[SPEAKER_03]: At what cost?
26:37
[SPEAKER_01]: The other challenge with that is that I mentioned before that every full-time start will find its track.
26:47
[SPEAKER_01]: Oh, so that fact there are no bad ideas to everyone.
26:51
[SPEAKER_01]: No.
26:52
[SPEAKER_01]: No.
26:53
[SPEAKER_01]: So so it's easy to to fall in love with your idea as the truth or as reasonable because there are as many foolish people wanting a similar right thing with it, wanting a similar reality.
27:12
[SPEAKER_01]: That group
27:16
[SPEAKER_01]: And I'd even say and group thing is probably giving it to much group agreement, because you're not even thinking, you're not, you're not in the numbers confirmed and that's the gift and the curse of social media that you can, you can synthesize thoughts and get them out very quickly to a bunch of people, but as much thought as you have have not given it,
27:45
[SPEAKER_01]: As it goes further, they are less people thinking less about agreeing, thinking less about the thing, but also agreeing with you.
27:54
[SPEAKER_01]: Exactly.
27:54
[SPEAKER_01]: Like you can, like people will literally take somebody's opinion as credible based on the number of followers that they have, right?
28:08
[SPEAKER_01]: Yes.
28:09
[SPEAKER_01]: Or the number of likes or the number of comments or whatever that agreement is and it's
28:14
[SPEAKER_01]: That part becomes a challenge in keeping up with what the kids, what our children are seeing.
28:24
[SPEAKER_01]: because that can overshadow, that can become louder than the opinions or the principles of the house.
28:30
[SPEAKER_01]: Yes.
28:31
[SPEAKER_01]: See?
28:32
[SPEAKER_01]: See?
28:32
[SPEAKER_01]: I told you.
28:33
[SPEAKER_01]: Yeah, about it.
28:34
[SPEAKER_01]: Yeah.
28:34
[SPEAKER_01]: I told you.
28:36
[SPEAKER_01]: I'm glad you said that word because everybody becomes everybody that thinks like me.
28:40
[SPEAKER_01]: Yeah.
28:40
[SPEAKER_01]: Then that becomes that universe, man.
28:41
[SPEAKER_01]: Right.
28:42
[SPEAKER_01]: The borders are getting big, but they're too many universes.
28:49
[SPEAKER_01]: Yeah, because of how people qualify, how people define what matters to them and everything else outside of that ain't part of my universe don't have anything to do with me.
29:00
[SPEAKER_02]: Yeah, I was recently in a room full of people and we were voting on something.
29:11
[SPEAKER_02]: and there were four options, so the four options had the room split to a point.
29:20
[SPEAKER_03]: There had to be a runoff, went down to two options.
29:27
[SPEAKER_03]: Here's the issue.
29:29
[SPEAKER_03]: The four options there were four different groups of agreement.
29:38
[SPEAKER_02]: Perhaps you didn't even pay attention to the two because they were so far from the choice you had to wear now out of the two, you almost like, well, run it back because I don't even know anymore.
29:53
[SPEAKER_02]: They didn't run it back.
29:54
[SPEAKER_03]: They were just like, you heard it the first time.
29:56
[SPEAKER_03]: There are now two.
29:58
[SPEAKER_03]: What do you think?
30:01
[SPEAKER_03]: The amount of people that looked at the crowd,
30:05
[SPEAKER_02]: in the room for familiar faces.
30:07
[SPEAKER_02]: Yeah.
30:08
[SPEAKER_02]: Oh, we don't ask my, that's my, I'm going over here.
30:13
[SPEAKER_02]: What if, what if the crowd that you're unfamiliar with is actually an alignment with everything that you need, want and desire.
30:26
[SPEAKER_02]: But because it doesn't look like you or what you're accustomed to seeing,
30:36
[SPEAKER_02]: going over here.
30:37
[SPEAKER_02]: There was even one that went to walk up to the other group and it's hey, we're going.
30:42
[SPEAKER_02]: You go over there.
30:43
[SPEAKER_02]: It's a problem.
30:45
[SPEAKER_03]: Turn around and went back and I witnessed this and I was like, wow, that's amazing.
30:52
[SPEAKER_02]: And say it at the same time because let's say there's a veil of a very valuable thing to your point about the amount of likes and the amount
31:07
[SPEAKER_02]: an undiscovered, priceless relic.
31:11
[SPEAKER_02]: Is it less valuable because it's undiscovered?
31:15
[SPEAKER_02]: You sleep, you sleep in on this jewel.
31:18
[SPEAKER_02]: You sleep in on it, walking over it, stepping over it, you sit in on this rock.
31:24
[SPEAKER_02]: You put your foot on this rock, so that somebody can shine on your shoe.
31:31
[SPEAKER_02]: But then once you find out, if you ever find out,
31:38
[SPEAKER_02]: Now, the perceived value begins to match the actual value.
31:45
[SPEAKER_02]: The value is always there, and it's the part I don't want our children to miss.
31:50
[SPEAKER_02]: You being overlooked or not selected for a thing, does not diminish your value, but you're falling into the trap of, I wasn't chosen, I'm no longer valuable, lie, that's a lie.
32:05
[SPEAKER_02]: It's not your job to base your value.
32:08
[SPEAKER_02]: It's not your calling to base your value on the crowd.
32:14
[SPEAKER_02]: The crowd is tickle as they say.
32:17
[SPEAKER_02]: Do not fall in love with the crowd.
32:20
[SPEAKER_02]: Head down, turn away.
32:22
[SPEAKER_02]: One day you're gonna look up, and you're gonna be on the top of a mountain.
32:27
[SPEAKER_02]: And you don't know how you got there.
32:29
[SPEAKER_02]: You was just doing what you knew to do, what you were called to do, what you love to do, what you enjoyed to do.
32:35
[SPEAKER_02]: your mission, remain your mission.
32:37
[SPEAKER_02]: The minute you pick your head up and look, your danger or at risk of altering your mission, that's designed for you, is designed for you who cares, hate it, love it, good for you.
32:54
[SPEAKER_02]: Man, I love what you're doing, thank you.
32:57
[SPEAKER_02]: Man, that's trash, appreciate you.
33:00
[SPEAKER_02]: I must do what I'm designed to do.
33:04
[SPEAKER_02]: Again, a tank is not built to delicately do anything.
33:11
[SPEAKER_02]: It's just not.
33:13
[SPEAKER_02]: So the minute it tries to go into a glass, China shop, everything's getting demolished.
33:19
[SPEAKER_02]: That's not your calling.
33:20
[SPEAKER_02]: That's not why you were built.
33:22
[SPEAKER_02]: That's not why you were invented designed.
33:24
[SPEAKER_02]: So I'm trying to make sure our children understand.
33:28
[SPEAKER_02]: Not picked yet, overlooked, not desired in the moment.
33:33
[SPEAKER_02]: The trend, the current trend, you're not trendy.
33:37
[SPEAKER_02]: I want you to trend see in time.
33:39
[SPEAKER_02]: The thing the value that you offer has nothing to do with a time period.
33:44
[SPEAKER_02]: And that my friend is what's gonna make you timeless.
33:47
[SPEAKER_02]: We're seeking to be timeless.
33:49
[SPEAKER_02]: There are songs you can play right now.
33:52
[SPEAKER_02]: If you played it 30 years ago, if you played it 30 years from now, it's still gonna have the same majestic effect.
34:01
[SPEAKER_01]: That's the, that's the importance of, of anchoring under principles, because as you were saying that I'm, I'm thinking, AI, AI is not going to be, I'm feeling that actually cool with that.
34:15
[SPEAKER_01]: But we can't, I don't want them to allow AI to change their values, just to change what's important to them.
34:23
[SPEAKER_01]: Use it to facilitate achieving the goal.
34:27
[SPEAKER_01]: But when it takes like you said, all for your design, I think that's what my challenge is that when you see so much of a thing that doesn't look like you, you start to think you're the wrong thing.
34:38
[SPEAKER_01]: Right?
34:38
[SPEAKER_01]: Yes.
34:39
[SPEAKER_01]: And it's not about everything looking like you, but being able to have that discernment in terms of, I have to stay the course.
34:49
[SPEAKER_01]: Yes.
34:49
[SPEAKER_01]: Because what's at the end of my course is for me.
34:53
[SPEAKER_01]: So I go over here to all these other people courses.
34:55
[SPEAKER_01]: Typically, you end up pushing them along their course and look up and you have no fulfillment.
35:01
[SPEAKER_01]: You might have gotten some material things
35:06
[SPEAKER_01]: running beside everybody else's dream because you believe that's the thing to do.
35:14
[SPEAKER_01]: You'll get to their dream with them.
35:16
[SPEAKER_01]: That's still beyond fulfill.
35:18
[SPEAKER_01]: Didn't have the dream.
35:19
[SPEAKER_01]: Highly on fulfill.
35:20
[SPEAKER_01]: They're highly on the fulfill, man.
35:22
[SPEAKER_01]: I am.
35:23
[SPEAKER_01]: They're net now.
35:26
[SPEAKER_01]: And I say off there's only now.
35:27
[SPEAKER_01]: But when I say it now, it's not just to be,
35:36
[SPEAKER_01]: A theory.
35:37
[SPEAKER_01]: Yeah, right.
35:38
[SPEAKER_01]: It's the more opportunities you miss doing what needs to be done now, because things are moving so fast.
35:49
[SPEAKER_01]: There's more to recover than you have time available, right?
35:53
[SPEAKER_01]: I still think the challenges of not addressing now without pace technologies ability to solve those challenges.
36:03
[SPEAKER_01]: I think that that might be completely unfounded right, but the further the further you get behind the the further you get disconnected because you're not acting in the moment the way you should and it's not that everything's gonna be perfect.
36:14
[SPEAKER_01]: I don't do everything I'm supposed to do it all day every day right right but then it's a conscious reminder there's a conscious thought is it's always front of mind what am I missing?
36:24
[SPEAKER_01]: And I think if you abandoned that, you'll look up in five years from now, you'll have been familiar with whatever AI technology is.
36:35
[SPEAKER_01]: But that much exponentially further behind, or, of course, depending on how you chase was not for you, just in the moment.
36:44
[SPEAKER_02]: Because you think about you're now walking around.
36:48
[SPEAKER_02]: And you don't think about anything because you don't have to.
36:52
[SPEAKER_02]: You don't have to.
36:53
[SPEAKER_02]: So now because you don't have to, two things are going to happen.
36:59
[SPEAKER_02]: Your equality of productivity, personally, outside of this assistance is going to diminish.
37:06
[SPEAKER_02]: The other byproduct is your leniency, your demand, your desire, your need,
37:15
[SPEAKER_02]: is going to get heavier and heavier.
37:18
[SPEAKER_02]: Ay, I chew this food for me.
37:21
[SPEAKER_02]: Imagine how ridiculous that sounds until it's one day introduced and that really is the thing and it happens.
37:28
[SPEAKER_02]: The ridiculousness, there's someone right now saying that's not ridiculous at all.
37:33
[SPEAKER_02]: Just like you said, there's an audience for every idea.
37:37
[SPEAKER_02]: So now you're leaning, it's an enhancement.
37:43
[SPEAKER_02]: for this generation right now, current day today, tomorrow it's a necessity, and imagine what happens in life when you remove a necessity.
37:55
[SPEAKER_03]: To generations ago, there was no gasoline.
38:00
[SPEAKER_03]: None.
38:01
[SPEAKER_03]: That was within use oil, within use gas, within use, nothing.
38:06
[SPEAKER_03]: It was everything you needed came from the earth.
38:10
[SPEAKER_03]: Everything.
38:11
[SPEAKER_03]: There were animals, there were people, there were resources.
38:16
[SPEAKER_03]: Food, water, soil, sunlight, oxygen.
38:22
[SPEAKER_03]: See you tomorrow.
38:24
[SPEAKER_03]: So now, enhancements came along.
38:28
[SPEAKER_03]: Steam, engine, oil, coal, coal.
38:35
[SPEAKER_02]: gasoline.
38:36
[SPEAKER_02]: Now these these things that take resources to run and to plead, you're depleting something trying to get this enhancement.
38:48
[SPEAKER_02]: So now I no longer even know the first step about going outside and cultivating this land to try to feed my family.
38:58
[SPEAKER_02]: If all the grocery stores
39:01
[SPEAKER_02]: There's a considerable portion of society that is absolutely doomed.
39:07
[SPEAKER_02]: They're doomed.
39:10
[SPEAKER_02]: The very things that they love they're turned off by the process of processing that thing.
39:17
[SPEAKER_02]: Ignorance, we don't even know the steps.
39:19
[SPEAKER_02]: I don't know the first thing about growing this or growing that crop rotation.
39:28
[SPEAKER_02]: natural survival.
39:30
[SPEAKER_02]: These are natural things.
39:32
[SPEAKER_02]: However, now we're talking.
39:34
[SPEAKER_02]: I saw people on social media saying, man, I went to work this morning gas was $3.
39:38
[SPEAKER_02]: I came out it was 4.
39:40
[SPEAKER_02]: I should have bought some gas this morning.
39:43
[SPEAKER_02]: Imagine, again, same work become true of AI, because now if you
39:51
[SPEAKER_02]: I'm not saying you can't get around.
39:53
[SPEAKER_02]: Life as you know it is absolutely going to change and come to a crash.
39:56
[SPEAKER_02]: There are people that drive 45 minutes one way to their place of employment.
40:02
[SPEAKER_02]: I used to drive 84 miles one way.
40:04
[SPEAKER_02]: You see?
40:05
[SPEAKER_02]: So now if I no longer have a vehicle,
40:09
[SPEAKER_02]: What do I do?
40:10
[SPEAKER_02]: How do I get there?
40:12
[SPEAKER_02]: Do I walk?
40:12
[SPEAKER_02]: When do I start walking?
40:14
[SPEAKER_02]: Do I say, hey, I walk the work Sunday night.
40:18
[SPEAKER_02]: I stay here Friday when I get off.
40:20
[SPEAKER_02]: I walk back home because it's, you see what I mean?
40:24
[SPEAKER_02]: Same is true of technology.
40:27
[SPEAKER_02]: We can become overly independent on technology to a point where I catch you.
40:34
[SPEAKER_03]: And if I'm the person holding the plug,
40:38
[SPEAKER_02]: Any time I'm ready to pull it or reinsert it, you're at my disposal, that's enough for that, take it out.
40:46
[SPEAKER_02]: Whereas if I had my horse, my bugging my crops, it's not too much you could do to me to affect the everyday life of me and my family.
40:56
[SPEAKER_02]: I have to get you dependent on a thing that I regulate.
41:01
[SPEAKER_02]: So that now, what do you do when I determine to turn the valve off?
41:06
[SPEAKER_02]: You have to dance to my music.
41:07
[SPEAKER_03]: Yeah.
41:09
[SPEAKER_03]: That's a super, uh, super important topic that definitely has been occupied time in my mind lately, just.
41:23
[SPEAKER_01]: Like, it never gets old that you look up and see something that's changed.
41:29
[SPEAKER_01]: Yes, right.
41:30
[SPEAKER_01]: I've mentioned, like, seeing my parents, because I only seeing one, so maybe twice a year, they look so different.
41:37
[SPEAKER_01]: Yeah, because it's the front two is stockly different.
41:41
[SPEAKER_01]: Yes, sometimes we take for granted the everyday access.
41:46
[SPEAKER_01]: So the people in our homes,
41:50
[SPEAKER_01]: that we put off things until I'll do that another nail.
41:55
[SPEAKER_01]: I use tomorrow's nail because I'm sure there'll be around tomorrow, man.
42:01
[SPEAKER_01]: And it's, uh, I don't want life to have to change drastically for the connect, yeah, for them to get it.
42:11
[SPEAKER_03]: So, there, there's only now, man,
42:20
[SPEAKER_03]: I'm just trying to drive home, please, please.
42:29
[SPEAKER_02]: It's another cliche that that was worn out that people don't believe it anymore.
42:34
[SPEAKER_02]: Don't put off tomorrow what you can do today.
42:37
[SPEAKER_02]: If it's at all possible for you to do it today, you don't know what tomorrow holds literally.
42:45
[SPEAKER_02]: Something to present itself tomorrow that is like,
42:50
[SPEAKER_02]: jumping this vehicle and move over here or drive over here, and as a little bit we're going to take all day.
42:58
[SPEAKER_02]: I get the I get that tomorrow tomorrow there's a power outage.
43:02
[SPEAKER_02]: It's going to come back the day after that, but all day tomorrow there's a power outage.
43:07
[SPEAKER_02]: I had a deadline tomorrow.
43:10
[SPEAKER_02]: There's no power.
43:11
[SPEAKER_02]: So the day after the power is back.
43:15
[SPEAKER_02]: Hey, we had a power outage yesterday.
43:16
[SPEAKER_02]: Yeah, but I gave
43:19
[SPEAKER_02]: How dare you tell me that an event that took place on day 30 prevent it you from completing a task, I gave you 30 days a go, my understanding is zero, I don't care what happened on day 30, what did you do with day 1 through 29?
43:36
[SPEAKER_02]: Nothing?
43:39
[SPEAKER_02]: You just thought, I gave you 30 days to do something.
43:43
[SPEAKER_02]: You didn't even begin to analyze, what?
43:46
[SPEAKER_02]: Why did he give me 30 days?
43:49
[SPEAKER_03]: What about this thing that the assigner feels like is going to take 30 days to do this?
43:59
[SPEAKER_03]: You've got two years to go get this certification, and then you can be in the field.
44:07
[SPEAKER_03]: And with AI, I can do that in the week.
44:11
[SPEAKER_03]: Should I hire AI?
44:13
[SPEAKER_03]: Or should I hire you?
44:14
[SPEAKER_02]: Because if I'm telling you that I'm
44:20
[SPEAKER_02]: You have to know, this is my industry, this is my task, anything less than that.
44:27
[SPEAKER_02]: What are your feet now?
44:28
[SPEAKER_02]: I don't understand.
44:29
[SPEAKER_02]: Those before you who are great have deemed to take you two years to do this thing well.
44:35
[SPEAKER_03]: And I'm giving you two years.
44:38
[SPEAKER_03]: And you waited
44:45
[SPEAKER_03]: to do a thing.
44:46
[SPEAKER_03]: So now you're trying to cram 104 weeks of a thing in four weeks, I'm going to do that in a month.
44:57
[SPEAKER_03]: So two year thing.
44:59
[SPEAKER_03]: So how dare you get so complacent?
45:06
[SPEAKER_02]: and procrastinate to a point that I told you, you had 30 days to do something, and you waited till day 30, and lo and behold an issue, presented itself that prevented you from completing this task.
45:19
[SPEAKER_02]: You sure you could've got it done in one day.
45:22
[SPEAKER_02]: Maybe there was something I wanted you to do piece by piece so that there were lessons for you to gain.
45:28
[SPEAKER_03]: I don't need this until 30 days from now, but I needed when I needed,
45:34
[SPEAKER_03]: I got you covered.
45:36
[SPEAKER_03]: Don't worry about it.
45:38
[SPEAKER_03]: And then you missed that dead line.
45:42
[SPEAKER_03]: Speak speaking to my heart, bro.
45:44
[SPEAKER_03]: Nah.
45:44
[SPEAKER_01]: And that's not even like my, the examples that are frustrating to me aren't even that elegant.
45:51
[SPEAKER_03]: Cut the grass.
45:55
[SPEAKER_03]: Wash it.
45:55
[SPEAKER_03]: This is wash or close.
45:57
[SPEAKER_01]: Right, like these are things that impact how you interact, your interdependencies with others in life.
46:07
[SPEAKER_01]: Man, wash a clothes like we got seven clothes, washes in the house.
46:12
[SPEAKER_01]: You hear me?
46:12
[SPEAKER_01]: Right.
46:13
[SPEAKER_01]: If the Monday don't wash on Monday, the Tuesday can't wash on Tuesday.
46:20
[SPEAKER_01]: When it get to my day,
46:22
[SPEAKER_01]: Hail to pay.
46:23
[SPEAKER_01]: Hail to pay.
46:25
[SPEAKER_01]: I promise.
46:26
[SPEAKER_01]: Hail to pay.
46:26
[SPEAKER_01]: Hail to pay.
46:27
[SPEAKER_01]: That won't buy number by everything to say.
46:32
[SPEAKER_03]: We have to be mindful of things that seem cliche.
46:40
[SPEAKER_03]: Being swept in a box of, oh, that's just the saying.
46:45
[SPEAKER_03]: It loses its value.
46:48
[SPEAKER_03]: The time is now means.
46:51
[SPEAKER_03]: You have to adjust your mindset of somebody told me it's gonna take me four years to go to college.
47:00
[SPEAKER_02]: So in your mind, you've convinced yourself, I've got four years.
47:05
[SPEAKER_02]: Know you don't, you have today.
47:08
[SPEAKER_02]: Because the minute you tell yourself you have four years, you'll fall off track of the today.
47:14
[SPEAKER_02]: There are, listen, this is a real thing.
47:16
[SPEAKER_02]: I've had this issue in the past.
47:19
[SPEAKER_02]: If you don't learn to a proper allocation, that could be time, that could be resources, that proper allocation period is detrimental if you don't match to the skill.
47:34
[SPEAKER_02]: That is one skill in life that I don't think is talked about enough or talk because of the importance of, when somebody tells you the time is now, that has a lot to do with your time allocation, your resource allocation.
47:49
[SPEAKER_02]: If I'm responsible for 18, I have to know how to allocate and delegate tasks so that we don't miss our deadline and life is the same thing.
48:06
[SPEAKER_02]: So now you are the steward of your time, your day, your schedule, your resources.
48:19
[SPEAKER_02]: You'll see highly productive people.
48:21
[SPEAKER_02]: You'll see people that look like they haven't done anything in three weeks.
48:25
[SPEAKER_02]: How do you explain that?
48:26
[SPEAKER_02]: That was a question I posed to the students in that room.
48:30
[SPEAKER_02]: How do you explain the difference?
48:32
[SPEAKER_02]: And to hear the perspective of these 18, 19-year-old college students, you would be surprised back to your point at the top of the show, this episode,
48:45
[SPEAKER_02]: I have to start my conversations with my son, seeking understanding.
48:51
[SPEAKER_02]: What is his level of understanding of a thing?
48:54
[SPEAKER_02]: We already know what we understand.
48:56
[SPEAKER_02]: I have no clue what you understand.
48:59
[SPEAKER_02]: I can assume, but because I don't know what you understand, it's very important that I ask you, how well do you think
49:10
[SPEAKER_02]: And I know, because I know your sons, and I'm not leaving the daughter's out, I know they'd be like, I'm sick of this.
49:17
[SPEAKER_02]: But I know the two dynamical sons that you have.
49:24
[SPEAKER_02]: So...
49:26
[SPEAKER_02]: because it's pressing more pressing now.
49:28
[SPEAKER_02]: And I don't want to discount eat life because obviously they're building there.
49:33
[SPEAKER_02]: We can we can wait to their teenagers again if we want.
49:36
[SPEAKER_02]: We can't afford to next year, but.
49:41
[SPEAKER_02]: But I mean, so our immediate older sons that we're actively watching transition.
49:52
[SPEAKER_02]: How do you feel about?
49:54
[SPEAKER_03]: your opinion of his his ability to allocate to him to draw the answer out of I'm it is not not sure I'm open to other ways of getting it to click yeah like it is the
50:19
[SPEAKER_01]: In his, I do my best not to be hypocritical because I struggle with it for a long time.
50:24
[SPEAKER_01]: I think I mentioned it before like I could.
50:27
[SPEAKER_01]: That was my college was my punch in the face because what worked the high school didn't work in college saying, I did high school very well.
50:35
[SPEAKER_01]: Very minimal effort.
50:37
[SPEAKER_01]: I just got focused on the things and paid attention in class before I was a class clown.
50:48
[SPEAKER_01]: No, no, I was actually doing my work, too, guys.
50:51
[SPEAKER_01]: I don't know.
50:52
[SPEAKER_01]: So we were having fun, but I was clearly y'all did y'all knew to do your work, too.
50:58
[SPEAKER_01]: And it didn't take much, but when I got to college, it was like, well, I do this the night before.
51:06
[SPEAKER_01]: First, it must have had that point one, whatever.
51:09
[SPEAKER_01]: Change everything.
51:09
[SPEAKER_01]: Depending on how long you've been listening to this podcast.
51:12
[SPEAKER_01]: Ha ha ha ha.
51:13
[SPEAKER_01]: It's only, it's only probably fluctuated between the point one and the point one eight.
51:18
[SPEAKER_01]: It was something that it was nothing to be, nothing to write home about nothing, nothing to actually live at home about no.
51:23
[SPEAKER_01]: For real, but it's, it's a... has... he has to find the accountability within.
51:31
[SPEAKER_03]: How do we as fathers help assist?
51:37
[SPEAKER_03]: The within journey.
51:38
[SPEAKER_03]: Cause it's within.
51:39
[SPEAKER_03]: Can we, that's the...
51:45
[SPEAKER_03]: think it's a combination of things.
51:46
[SPEAKER_01]: I think it's a, it's a, it's a not quitting on the conversation.
51:51
[SPEAKER_01]: It's being transparent about how you struggle with the thing to from too.
51:57
[SPEAKER_01]: Yeah.
51:58
[SPEAKER_01]: Because I, I think I've been good at saying I struggle with this.
52:02
[SPEAKER_01]: I haven't been good at at outline and what it took for me to get through it and how I'm better now.
52:07
[SPEAKER_01]: Yeah.
52:08
[SPEAKER_01]: Right.
52:08
[SPEAKER_01]: And what then what those challenges are.
52:11
[SPEAKER_01]: And once you presented all the information,
52:15
[SPEAKER_01]: Continue to hold them accountable not necessarily handholding like you get the example about walking the kitchen and gives you alert that the stove is over there.
52:22
[SPEAKER_01]: You get two feet from it and you can't close his door.
52:24
[SPEAKER_01]: It's not that.
52:26
[SPEAKER_01]: But at some point when it clicks, I want them to look back and see that I've consistently been.
52:32
[SPEAKER_01]: A-A-A-A valuable source of information.
52:41
[SPEAKER_01]: without judgment, you know what I'm saying?
52:44
[SPEAKER_01]: Because I don't want it to click, and it'd be like, well, because I kind of went through that my past night that he possessed to himself that way, but I was like, oh, he was right, now I'm embarrassed.
52:53
[SPEAKER_01]: So, but because I've lived all of those things, I know it's not appropriate to give up.
53:04
[SPEAKER_03]: Nor allow,
53:08
[SPEAKER_01]: or to start holding my camera.
53:09
[SPEAKER_01]: First of all, my house.
53:10
[SPEAKER_01]: Once you're outside of my house, it gets a little more difficult, but living in my house, you subscribe to a thing that's my thing.
53:18
[SPEAKER_01]: Yeah.
53:19
[SPEAKER_01]: while you're in the house.
53:20
[SPEAKER_01]: You can go outside of the house, outside the driveway in the middle of the street.
53:24
[SPEAKER_01]: Whether that public property start, go over there and be whoever you want to be, but in this house we got to have some kind of, some kind of standards because everybody is part of this environment.
53:35
[SPEAKER_01]: When you go create your own environment, sometimes that's what it lets in this learn.
53:40
[SPEAKER_01]: But I'm hoping that once he graduates from trade school,
53:48
[SPEAKER_01]: it'll still be a job that he goes into, but I don't think the leniency like he experiences it at shit for ladies, I'm even, for me, it seems to be the more, the scenes that have the more stands in terms of the serves I receive as a customer, they've never worked there, my nieces have worked there, clearly my son works there now, but in terms of what they value, thought I was having the other day.
54:15
[SPEAKER_01]: As I was cutting the grass, this was about the rain, and the grass had been cut, so I shouldn't have been cutting the grass, but it was about the rain.
54:20
[SPEAKER_01]: So that now we have a problem, right?
54:23
[SPEAKER_01]: Certainly.
54:24
[SPEAKER_03]: I'm thinking, how much of your job do they explain to you every day?
54:32
[SPEAKER_03]: You go through training.
54:35
[SPEAKER_01]: You go through training and either you finish training or you're done typically training your probationary period and it's not that you don't ever improve but it's not but you don't go in there every day and they say hey man, drop the fries.
54:49
[SPEAKER_01]: Hey man, you got to sweep at the end of your shift.
54:52
[SPEAKER_01]: Hey man, when you when you take the order you got to press the button on your thing so that we can hear.
54:56
[SPEAKER_01]: How much do they have to explain to you?
55:04
[SPEAKER_01]: many jobs or responsibilities in his house.
55:08
[SPEAKER_01]: When I ask you once the last time you cut the grass and your response is, once the last time you said something, the money he's not actually crazy about seeing things.
55:18
[SPEAKER_01]: Yeah, absolutely.
55:20
[SPEAKER_01]: We don't know, we retain teeth at all costs in the job of shrimp.
55:27
[SPEAKER_01]: So it's when, and I know it's going to be a hot moment there.
55:34
[SPEAKER_01]: So I don't have a schedule of, I mean, the schedule is, we, we pass the schedule, right?
55:39
[SPEAKER_01]: But I'm just, it's, I need him to connect those dots with, maybe I should take these two things as seriously, because I can clearly take the one, this, I'm hoping, because, well, that's extremely valid.
55:59
[SPEAKER_03]: What you just said, because,
56:03
[SPEAKER_02]: It's a two-fold, and I'm trying to, I'm trying to pay his disdain right, because typically as human beings, the closer a person is to us, the apparently more disregard we have for structure with that person.
56:28
[SPEAKER_02]: A family member will owe you something.
56:32
[SPEAKER_02]: Money.
56:32
[SPEAKER_02]: I don't care, let's go there.
56:34
[SPEAKER_02]: A family member can owe you money.
56:36
[SPEAKER_02]: And they'll act like it's offensive for you to talk about them about a repayment plan or date for that matter.
56:45
[SPEAKER_03]: However, they'll take a loan from a bank or a stranger.
56:53
[SPEAKER_02]: and they'll not pay a utility bill to not miss that payment or returning that money to that stranger or that bank or that entity.
57:05
[SPEAKER_02]: Why?
57:06
[SPEAKER_02]: Why?
57:07
[SPEAKER_02]: As humans do we feel that the people that care about us, the most, are the people we have the least amount of respect and regard in the structure department?
57:22
[SPEAKER_02]: Is it because we feel like love means forgive and let you be who you are?
57:28
[SPEAKER_02]: Because that's a misconception.
57:31
[SPEAKER_02]: I love you.
57:33
[SPEAKER_02]: To read just point, read's made a point about the difference between loving something and having reverence for something.
57:42
[SPEAKER_02]: What in love and reverence?
57:43
[SPEAKER_02]: Respect and reverence?
57:45
[SPEAKER_02]: Respect and honor.
57:46
[SPEAKER_02]: Respect and honor.
57:49
[SPEAKER_02]: Yes.
57:52
[SPEAKER_02]: The very person that, if you took every person off the face of the person that you're barring this money from an entity or this loved one, I'd like to say you're going to pick the love one every time.
58:06
[SPEAKER_03]: So I should have the most regard, the most honor for that person that has that honor in
58:22
[SPEAKER_02]: But surely, it's embedded in me to do business a certain way.
58:25
[SPEAKER_02]: So the least I'm going to do is square business with you.
58:28
[SPEAKER_02]: However, what's the mental roadblock or hindrance?
58:35
[SPEAKER_02]: That says, ah, that's dead, man, he ain't doing no tripping.
58:39
[SPEAKER_02]: But you know I'm tripping.
58:41
[SPEAKER_02]: You can't, you plan with me because you know, that's my family.
58:45
[SPEAKER_02]: They'll never cut me off.
58:46
[SPEAKER_02]: They'll just be mad a little while.
58:51
[SPEAKER_02]: Tell other businesses, don't do business with me.
58:54
[SPEAKER_02]: Family and I supposed to do you like that.
58:56
[SPEAKER_02]: They're not supposed to play with you like that.
58:58
[SPEAKER_02]: They're not supposed to discard you and throw your way.
59:01
[SPEAKER_02]: You could do whatever you want to family.
59:03
[SPEAKER_02]: And it's just gonna hug and love you and be mad and talk to your little crazy.
59:11
[SPEAKER_02]: We'll have dinner again next Sunday though.
59:14
[SPEAKER_01]: They say, uh, familiarity, breeze concept, huh, I think it's like, uh, depending on your history with that, what that family remember that close person, you believe this person will never hurt you.
59:34
[SPEAKER_03]: The stranger might, yes, my urge to credit my urge.
59:40
[SPEAKER_01]: I found that never do that, never.
59:42
[SPEAKER_01]: This person that I'll never see, who I'm just a number two and they've written off my debt anyway and they actually are in debt to somebody else against the debt that I had.
59:52
[SPEAKER_01]: Like, it's, I think that's what it is, man.
59:56
[SPEAKER_01]: We, we too familiar with a good thing.
59:59
[SPEAKER_01]: Yeah.
1:00:01
[SPEAKER_03]: And that we get more creative to a potentially bad thing.
1:00:07
[SPEAKER_03]: Absolutely, that doesn't care about us at all.
1:00:10
[SPEAKER_03]: That's crazy.
1:00:11
[SPEAKER_03]: But it's a real thing.
1:00:12
[SPEAKER_03]: So it goes life.
1:00:14
[SPEAKER_03]: It's a way of life.
1:00:17
[SPEAKER_02]: Sometimes, to another point, I feel like I'm jumping all the way around.
1:00:22
[SPEAKER_02]: I just don't want to miss any other boxes.
1:00:24
[SPEAKER_02]: I said,
1:00:26
[SPEAKER_02]: I just recently, just a little humor.
1:00:28
[SPEAKER_02]: I just recently had a conversation with my son.
1:00:31
[SPEAKER_02]: His birthday was this week.
1:00:33
[SPEAKER_02]: Actually, both of them, my older boy, he 20, a boy just hit 20.
1:00:41
[SPEAKER_02]: So my older son, he told him nothing.
1:00:43
[SPEAKER_02]: Nothing.
1:00:43
[SPEAKER_02]: What do you want to hear this fellow?
1:00:45
[SPEAKER_02]: Him and my wife, their birthday is a two days apart.
1:00:48
[SPEAKER_02]: So I had two birthdays this week.
1:00:50
[SPEAKER_03]: So I called him,
1:00:54
[SPEAKER_02]: I'm not going to talk about the whole scenario of the day because of the sidebar.
1:01:00
[SPEAKER_02]: Boy, I'm sorry.
1:01:01
[SPEAKER_02]: I'm all alone.
1:01:01
[SPEAKER_02]: But I got the pop this fella because he's apparently watching.
1:01:05
[SPEAKER_03]: Um, my cousin slash nephew.
1:01:10
[SPEAKER_03]: Jay.
1:01:13
[SPEAKER_03]: We had the episode, but we were talking about how my son boiled up that car.
1:01:25
[SPEAKER_03]: He grabbed the clip and sent it to my son.
1:01:29
[SPEAKER_02]: Look at your dad, he talked to the botchie.
1:01:34
[SPEAKER_02]: I didn't say anything in the rock at the door, and then that whole clip at home.
1:01:38
[SPEAKER_02]: I'm talking about what happened.
1:01:41
[SPEAKER_02]: This chump, my nephew sent the clip to my son.
1:01:46
[SPEAKER_02]: My son would feel some kind of way.
1:01:49
[SPEAKER_02]: He called my wife talking trash.
1:01:53
[SPEAKER_03]: This is how you feel.
1:01:58
[SPEAKER_03]: I was like, oh, yeah, yeah, that's exactly.
1:02:02
[SPEAKER_02]: And more, but this, this, this made the clip.
1:02:05
[SPEAKER_02]: This is the clip, it's the clip, brother.
1:02:09
[SPEAKER_02]: I didn't, I told no lines in the old clip.
1:02:12
[SPEAKER_02]: So this one is for Jay, run tear that.
1:02:16
[SPEAKER_02]: Click this and send it to your boy.
1:02:18
[SPEAKER_02]: Chloe.
1:02:19
[SPEAKER_02]: Flip flip flip flip flip flip my tag.
1:02:22
[SPEAKER_02]: Yeah, please.
1:02:23
[SPEAKER_02]: Me too.
1:02:24
[SPEAKER_02]: My son of 20 years old.
1:02:27
[SPEAKER_02]: Uh, this birthday and I call him.
1:02:29
[SPEAKER_02]: Hey man, I have a birthday.
1:02:31
[SPEAKER_02]: What you got shaken?
1:02:31
[SPEAKER_02]: He was like, I don't know man.
1:02:32
[SPEAKER_02]: I'm a my friends and everybody told me just get your essence.
1:02:36
[SPEAKER_03]: Stand by immediately.
1:02:40
[SPEAKER_03]: I slid into a condom conversation with him.
1:02:48
[SPEAKER_01]: Now, now it's time.
1:02:49
[SPEAKER_01]: Well, no, no, no, this is not the first.
1:02:51
[SPEAKER_01]: Oh.
1:02:52
[SPEAKER_01]: It's also the time now.
1:02:53
[SPEAKER_02]: Now, here's the time.
1:02:54
[SPEAKER_02]: Because you don't even know what the night holds.
1:02:57
[SPEAKER_02]: Take that eye out, I won't.
1:02:57
[SPEAKER_02]: I don't care.
1:02:59
[SPEAKER_02]: But you better get in touch with reality.
1:03:01
[SPEAKER_02]: He's young me and in college.
1:03:03
[SPEAKER_02]: And this generation, these are some aggressive young women.
1:03:05
[SPEAKER_02]: And by the way, these women, oh my goodness.
1:03:07
[SPEAKER_02]: So he was like, hey.
1:03:10
[SPEAKER_02]: You know, just like the fourth or fifth time we had this conversation.
1:03:13
[SPEAKER_02]: That's cool.
1:03:14
[SPEAKER_02]: You'll never say you didn't get it.
1:03:16
[SPEAKER_02]: You were like, you hit me with this for prom, hit me with this in high school, you hit me with this when I was going into high school.
1:03:22
[SPEAKER_02]: Hey, hey brother, I did my job.
1:03:25
[SPEAKER_02]: So I say that to say.
1:03:28
[SPEAKER_02]: Yes, there are some redundancies that we need to avoid as parents, but but they are some things that if you got the yell it off the mountaintop 20 times because of the ramifications, consequences and repercussions of said decisions have lifelong implications here.
1:03:49
[SPEAKER_02]: Sometimes those are where the things for us to repeat and re-repeat and re-repeat and reiterate, hey, remember this conversation?
1:03:59
[SPEAKER_02]: Would you do from there?
1:04:00
[SPEAKER_02]: I know.
1:04:00
[SPEAKER_02]: I know.
1:04:01
[SPEAKER_02]: They say, no, I know I know conversation.
1:04:04
[SPEAKER_02]: Do you recall?
1:04:05
[SPEAKER_02]: Do you know the importance?
1:04:07
[SPEAKER_02]: And it's just not about one dimensional.
1:04:09
[SPEAKER_02]: That conversation covers a multitude of consequences.
1:04:17
[SPEAKER_02]: outside of pregnancy when you start to get to interacting on that level between me and women.
1:04:24
[SPEAKER_02]: There are things that are going on that you need to be mindful of first and protect yourself and protect this other person, y'all are protecting each other.
1:04:34
[SPEAKER_02]: Don't take word of mouth for anything, don't take what she said, I don't care if she
1:04:47
[SPEAKER_02]: It's not your problem, not your issue.
1:04:49
[SPEAKER_02]: That's great.
1:04:50
[SPEAKER_02]: I hope you're reputable and you were mean something.
1:04:53
[SPEAKER_03]: However, I gotta do what I gotta do as well.
1:04:57
[SPEAKER_03]: Please.
1:04:59
[SPEAKER_02]: Please.
1:05:00
[SPEAKER_02]: I'm hoping that some parks, some parents to take action because we'd be like, I hear a lot of parents that say, when is the time?
1:05:10
[SPEAKER_02]: When do I say something?
1:05:12
[SPEAKER_02]: if you're asking that it's time.
1:05:13
[SPEAKER_01]: The next time is now, you missed the time.
1:05:16
[SPEAKER_01]: You missed it.
1:05:17
[SPEAKER_02]: You better hope, yeah.
1:05:19
[SPEAKER_02]: It's prom season.
1:05:21
[SPEAKER_02]: I see all these props going up in front of these houses and these reveals these $200,000 reveals to go to prom.
1:05:29
[SPEAKER_02]: Hey, the city went.
1:05:30
[SPEAKER_02]: Man, they're going to have a, they jumping out with Paris shoes for wedding day.
1:05:35
[SPEAKER_02]: But now's the time.
1:05:37
[SPEAKER_02]: Like, this is another point.
1:05:42
[SPEAKER_02]: is now as the time today's the day parents have been several issues and topics in this episode that is absolutely geared towards the parents.
1:05:56
[SPEAKER_02]: Most of the times it is.
1:05:59
[SPEAKER_02]: Yeah.
1:05:59
[SPEAKER_02]: No, no, no.
1:06:00
[SPEAKER_02]: It'll be to them about dealing with their children.
1:06:02
[SPEAKER_02]: I'm talking about to them about dealing with them.
1:06:04
[SPEAKER_02]: Well, I guess.
1:06:05
[SPEAKER_01]: Yeah.
1:06:05
[SPEAKER_01]: I'm not saying we're going to say the same thing differently.
1:06:07
[SPEAKER_01]: Yeah.
1:06:08
[SPEAKER_01]: I roll with it.
1:06:10
[SPEAKER_01]: That's right.
1:06:11
[SPEAKER_01]: I roll with it.
1:06:11
[SPEAKER_01]: That's right.
1:06:12
[SPEAKER_01]: What's your guy for the good people, man?
1:06:13
[SPEAKER_01]: Man, I'm that last point that I made.
1:06:16
[SPEAKER_01]: I was talking to me.
1:06:19
[SPEAKER_01]: Now is the next time.
1:06:20
[SPEAKER_01]: Yes.
1:06:20
[SPEAKER_01]: It's some things that
1:06:23
[SPEAKER_01]: that I've chosen to put off a chosen eye to see that they got to be attacked.
1:06:29
[SPEAKER_01]: Yeah.
1:06:29
[SPEAKER_01]: So, or reiterate it.
1:06:32
[SPEAKER_01]: Or reiterate it.
1:06:33
[SPEAKER_01]: Now's the perfect time to reiterate.
1:06:35
[SPEAKER_01]: But the best time was last time.
1:06:38
[SPEAKER_01]: It's late.
1:06:39
[SPEAKER_01]: Now's the next best time to me.
1:06:41
[SPEAKER_02]: I want to close with at what cost.
1:06:46
[SPEAKER_02]: Sure.
1:06:46
[SPEAKER_02]: Let's get aggressive, let's press, let's execute, but let's always stay in tune and mindful of at what cost, what are we trading for this thing, what am I giving up?
1:06:59
[SPEAKER_02]: You're always giving something for something.
1:07:01
[SPEAKER_02]: There's always a resource exchange.
1:07:03
[SPEAKER_02]: I don't care if it's just shift.
1:07:06
[SPEAKER_02]: There's a, there's an exchange happening.
1:07:09
[SPEAKER_02]: Never, ever think that anything you're doing, you're not exchanging something for something.
1:07:15
[SPEAKER_02]: Opportunity calls, opportunity calls, opportunity calls.
1:07:19
[SPEAKER_02]: Like, share, subscribe.
1:07:21
[SPEAKER_02]: If you're still here, what you should be, I don't see why not, man.
1:07:24
[SPEAKER_02]: These episodes are amazing.
1:07:26
[SPEAKER_02]: It's a lot of great things coming up.
1:07:31
[SPEAKER_02]: support the dear son network support dear son show uh-oh warm embrace and deep kisses i didn't get the spray he moved to tell you about me moved to tell you about me i normally start the episode y'all saw me on the last episode i started with a ch-ch because i've got to come up with a scratching sniff for the video man
1:08:00
[SPEAKER_02]: But please, please, these are worthy, worthy, worthy.
1:08:04
[SPEAKER_02]: Two grown men have an conversation.
1:08:06
[SPEAKER_02]: Joe Baker III, Father Figure Apparel.
1:08:10
[SPEAKER_02]: We are like-minded men on journeys of life that are equally beneficial.
1:08:20
[SPEAKER_02]: depending on which one you catch, catch one catch them all.
1:08:25
[SPEAKER_02]: Catch them individually because they help you in different areas and catch them collectively because it all comes together seamlessly and that truly is a blessing.
1:08:34
[SPEAKER_02]: This is Dears on our show.
1:08:35
[SPEAKER_02]: Thank you for tuning in, peace.