Latest / The Daily Ripples Podcast / July 25 – Remembering the Ones Still Struggling

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July 25 – Remembering the Ones Still Struggling · The Daily Ripples Podcast

• 0:00
  Hey guys,
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  this is the Daily Ripples. This is Corey.
• 0:07
  Um, this is cool because Pastor Mike assigned
• 0:11
  me to every Saturday, so every Saturday I'll be on here.
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  Um, we're gonna do like a solo— me, me do Saturday, him do Sunday,
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  since he's like a preacher and stuff. And anyways,
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  but, uh, today is July 25th.
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  Remembering the ones still struggling. The stone: I
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  stay strong when I stay connected to those still— who still need help.
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  Ripple 1, practical: Today I will not forget where I came from.
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  I will stay aware of others who may be struggling quietly.
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  I will offer encouragement, listen when needed, and be available without
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  hesitation. Ripple 2, spiritual: The Father calls
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  me to care for those who are still hurting.
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  Jesus never overlooked those in need. The Holy Spirit
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  stirs compassion in me and gives me the courage to act.
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  As I serve others, I am strengthened, and my own life
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  remains grounded and steady. And when
• 1:10
  I read this, you know, I was thinking about a couple different things. And,
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  um, on page 102
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  In the Big Book, and it kind of aligns with the ripple, it says,
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  your job is to be a place where you may be of maximum helpfulness to
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  others. So never hesitate to go anywhere if
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  you can be helpful. You should not hesitate to visit the most sordid
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  spot on earth on such an errand. Keep on the firing line
• 1:37
  of life with these motives, and God will keep you unharmed.
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  So I can go— it tells me right here, you know, I can go anywhere.
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  My job is to be of maximum service to you. My job.
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  Well, and it kind of keeps it in the Fifth Tradition. It says,
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  carry this message to the alcoholic who still suffers.
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  Because I'm best used where, for me,
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  this is where I'm best used for God. And that's where I'm at today.
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  I could be somewhere else tomorrow, but this is where I'm most useful,
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  I find, for God.
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  But then I think about where it says right here,
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  it says, I stay strong when I stay connected.
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  And like, you know, so how, like, where am I connected and how do I
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  get connected? Because there
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  is another part of this where, you know, I am, you know,
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  I have a problem. When I take a drink, I want more.
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  And so that classifies me under a class.
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  A type of person, an illness. And that's the
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  way this literature kind of aligns. But then when I'm going through this work too,
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  it kind of— on page 67,
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  66 and 67, it says, we realized
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  that people who wronged us were perhaps spiritually sick,
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  though we did not like their symptoms and the way they disturbed us.
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  Like ourselves— that's important— like ourselves,
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  we're sick too. So if I'm sick and you're sick, you know,
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  we're all just sick. So then
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  it goes on to say, we ask God to help us show them the same
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  tolerance, pity, and patience that we would cheerfully grant a sick friend.
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  So when I come into that, like, you know, I'm sick, you're sick,
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  you wronged me. So when I'm going through this work, I'm just coming to realize
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  that we're all God's kids. And I'm no special
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  than anyone else, and you're no specialer than anyone else either.
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  But I believed that sometimes I am.
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  I never thought that, like, you know, but this work comes to take me out
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  of it. Me, I'm not special. I'm no better than anyone else.
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  And so looking at that and looking where I'm more useful
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  to others, I think, you know, man, well,
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  if I can go anywhere and go help anyone,
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  And this alcohol thing is not the issue, right? So if bottles
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  were just a symbol, so that's been removed for me.
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  So I should be able to go anywhere and I shouldn't have to—
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  I was thinking about things that I heard early on. They're like,
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  don't go here, don't go there. And I think
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  that comes from a lot of treatment center places. And that's okay. Because if that's
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  helpful to some people, but I'm not able to hide myself away
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  from this stuff. I can't just not drive down the street.
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  And if my job is to go pick someone up out of a sordid
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  place to get them to helpfulness, I don't need to think,
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  well, I hope I don't use, because I don't think that's the question. That's the
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  deal at hand, because I'm there to be of maximum service
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  to God and the people around me. It goes on to say,
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  today I will not forget where I came from. I'll stay aware of others who
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  may be struggling quietly. And now that's in— that's
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  kind of strange. So struck— like, I was talking to a guy the other day
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  about this, and you know, I don't—
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  I was not a closet drinker. Um,
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  man, I know my significant other at times, she had woken me up on
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  the couch with a raw piece of— like, with a raw
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  steak on my belly, half ate too.
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  Um, there's no way I could have like been a closet drinker
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  because someone's gonna know. Someone's gonna know what
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  Corey's doing because he is like— well, I go to oblivion.
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  I drink to oblivion. And you know,
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  it's, it's hard to hide when you're drinking like that,
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  especially if you're around people and you have people living with you.
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  And if you know— if you don't, you know. And but someone, you know,
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  at least the gas station clerk or the liquor store person that's
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  selling you all this alcohol, someone's gonna know.
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  Um, so struggling quietly, you know, people watch
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  me and the quietly thing, you know, I was,
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  you know, I made bad decisions and people saw.
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  But, you know, if you are struggling quietly, you know, I'd imagine like, you know,
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  that's probably a— I mean, I've been quietly struggling too, you know, even without
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  the bottle, right? You know, so like, you know, these inside struggles and I
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  think that's like where it tells me, you know, on here it says, you know,
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  in page, I think it's 55, it says the great reality deep down within.
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  And if I got all this stuff deep down within me, that's where
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  this work is in the 4th step and the 5th step and the 6th step
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  and the 7th step and the 8th step and the 9th step. That's the personal
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  house cleaning. That's within. And I come to this struggle,
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  you know, when I, if I, if I get stuck in that,
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  and I think it's important, if I get stuck in me, because 1
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  through 9 has everything to do with me.
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  And I can be so self-centered, I can just get stuck in
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  there because then it's just about me and it's never about you, because I believe
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  10, 11, and 12 is how I interact with you, God, and the people,
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  and to be of service to these people too.
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  So if I look at that in a way, and it says on page 77,
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  our real purpose is to be of maximum service to God and the people around
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  us. About us. And so if I look at that,
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  that kind of encompasses my prayer life,
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  me helping others, the people around me.
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  On page 19, it tells me that
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  where do I practice this stuff? It says, we feel
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  that elimination of our drinking is but a beginning.
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  A much more important demonstration of our principles
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  lies before us in our respective homes, occupations, and affairs.
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  So homes, occupations, and affairs. And I talk a lot about
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  this because my sponsor talks to me a lot about this,
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  because if there's any direction I need in this, he tells me, yeah, where do
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  I need to be practicing this? Because I can get off the beam a little
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  bit every now and then, and I can go be just all in my affairs
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  and not be practicing this stuff at home. And he, you know, then I come
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  to him and I'm like, hey man, you know, my, my home life is getting
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  out of hand. He's like, well, What are you doing in your life?
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  What does your life look like? You know, I think one
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  thing I ask guys, you know, when they come to me, you know, I just
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  ask them what their prayer life's about. What does it look
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  like when you wake up? You know, going back to kind of like,
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  you know, coming to terms that, you know, we're all spiritually sick.
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  You know, when I look at this, I believe this is a promise of The
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  Housecleaning too. On page 19, at the bottom of
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  it, it says, most of us sense that real tolerance of other people's
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  shortcomings and viewpoints and a respect for their opinions
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  are attitudes which make us
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  more useful to others. Then it goes
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  on to say, our very lives as ex-problem drinkers depend. Depend's a
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  big word. Upon our constant thought of others
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  and how we may help their needs. And my day looks a lot like that,
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  and my conversations with other guys look a lot like that today.
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  You know, how can I be more— how can my approach be better?
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  You know, what can I do better today?
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  And that's what me and my sponsor talk about most
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  of the time anyways, you know, how to approach a situation with
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  a dude, another guy. And because it was
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  about me and he was in the business of telling me, hey man,
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  go look at this page or go look at this or think about
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  this prayer. And so that's my job today with other guys and
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  other people in general. I think it's such a cool deal being
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  able to share some of these principles in my occupation
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  because I work around people and I talked to a guy the
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  other day. I asked him, I said, what does your mornings look like? And my
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  morning is so important because when I wake up in the morning, I wake up
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  early and I start my day. And because my book,
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  I think it helps for every one of us. I mean, I could be
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  wrong. It says most people live by self-propulsion. So maybe
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  they're doing okay with where they're at. They don't need
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  to add anything else to their life. But I'll tell you, man,
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  the amount of calm The amount of peace I have through my
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  day when I do this stuff. And there's a promise
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  of it. I think there's a promise on every part
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  of this work. And it says on page 88, we are then
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  in much less danger of excitement, fear, anger, worry, self-pity, or foolish
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  decisions. We become much more efficient. We do
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  not tire so easily, for we are not burning up energy foolishly
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  as we did when we were trying to arrange life to suit ourselves.
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  So when I was trying to suit myself, you know, I kind of go back
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  to this, like, you know, the double—
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  living the double life, right? Because if I'm shooting myself and I'm living this double
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  life, because for me, I'm not just living a double life, I'm living like a
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  quadruple times 10 life because I'm trying to suit myself
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  to fit what you want so I can get what I want.
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  And, you know, all— everybody's personalities are different.
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  So then that moment, I'm trying to change my personality to connect
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  to you to get what I want from you. And if that's just prestige
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  or just, you know, you liking me, that's, that's something I can get out of
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  you too. But when I come into
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  a position of I'm just trying to be useful to you— being
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  useful to someone is so much easier because I, I'm— and
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  that's all anybody wants anyways is love. I mean, I don't— I mean, who knows?
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  I mean, I'm not, not some, you know, prolific, you know,
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  person that knows what everybody wants and needs, but I'd imagine
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  what people really want is just to be loved. And what if
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  I can just do that instead of trying to make myself to be somebody that
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  I'm not? And in this
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  book, it tells me how I
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  should approach— well, I mean, that's if I've gone through this work and I kind
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  of know who I am and This is kind of the definition of humility
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  is on page 58 in the 12 and 12. It kind of goes on
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  to say, you know, knowing who I am, where I'm going, and what I'm— I
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  don't know the right word. I don't have my 12 and 12 in front of
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  me either, but, you know, knowing who I am and where I'm going and what
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  I've done, because I've not always been able to see that.
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  And on page 18 of the Big Book, it says, but the ex-problem drinker
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  who has found the solution, who is properly armed with
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  facts about himself can generally win the entire confidence of
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  another alcoholic in a few hours. I think it takes less time.
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  And maybe I'm trained into that. Maybe that's just how I've been
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  taught, especially at a speaker meeting, for instance.
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  If I'm talking in a speaker meeting,
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  I'm probably going to give 20 to 25
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  to 30 minutes of my story. And that is properly
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  armed with facts about himself. That's my experience
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  in that. And so then that goes on to say,
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  until such an understanding is reached, little or nothing can be accomplished.
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  So I got to establish common problem and then I establish
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  common solution. What else is on
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  here that says— I'm probably over my time limit. I don't
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  know. It says, the Father calls me to care for those who are still
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  hurting. Jesus never overlooked those
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  in need. And if I come in
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  this place with working with others, man,
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  if I could— hopefully I can find this pretty quickly.
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  It says on page 96,
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  and I think about the dudes I've tried to help, and yes, there's people that
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  don't want help. And how do I know that? You know why? I put
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  the information out there. I put my hand out there.
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  And if they don't want it, that's okay too. But it tells
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  me if they don't want it or the cannots or will-nots, it tells me that
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  and how it works. It says, rarely have we seen a person who failed,
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  who cannot or will not completely give themselves to this program.
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  Well, usually that comes with, you know, maybe they're not done and maybe
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  they'll never be done. But I'm not worried about those people because
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  there's people who do not. I think
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  that's the question we don't ask a lot. I mean, a friend of mine,
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  we were talking about it yesterday morning. We were talking about the
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  idea, are you done for drinking for good and all? Are you done?
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  Because if you're not, there's nothing—
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  that's okay. I mean, but you can go
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  on and do your thing. We're not in the business of trying to convince you.
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  But we are in the business if you want help.
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  But it tells me what to do if you're not in the business of that.
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  It says, do not be discouraged if your prospect does not respond at once.
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  Search out another alcoholic and try again. You are
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  sure to find someone desperate enough to accept with eagerness what you offer.
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  We find it a waste of time to keep chasing a man who cannot
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  or will not work with you. If you leave such a person
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  alone, he may soon become convinced that he cannot recover by himself.
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  To spend too much time on any one situation is to deny
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  some other alcoholic an opportunity to live and
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  be happy. To live and be happy. Those are powerful words.
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  I, you know, I've spent too much time on dudes before,
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  you know, of almost trying to
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  convince them to do this work. And I
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  probably denied other dudes, other guys, the opportunity to be of
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  help. Or I've tried to help people out of ego.
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  Maybe they were close to me. Maybe I wanted to take responsibility
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  over them because they were close to me in some sort of way, and I
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  thought I should be the one. And I was talking to a guy It
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  was Christmas Eve. I think it was last
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  year. I went to this meeting and nobody showed up. And this guy came in
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  late. I was the only person there. And this guy was in from out of
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  town. He had something crazy like 50 years of sobriety. And we were talking
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  about his daughter. Well, it was all of his kids were in this deal.
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  And I thought it was quite interesting listening to him talk about this because I
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  have a son and Man, he's just like me. He's only 12,
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  but you know, I'd imagine— I don't know. I have fears about
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  that. And so, you know, I was really listening to this guy when he was
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  talking about his kids, and he was talking about his daughter. She lived
• 17:02
  in Seattle, and he was in Memphis— or not in Memphis. He was somewhere,
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  somewhere in the world. And she called him,
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  and, you know, he told me, he said he wanted,
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  you know, and everything in him, to bring her home and
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  so he could help her. But he trusted
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  in this program and had her go to a meeting and
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  called someone there. And, you know, he trusted in the work of this program
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  rather than himself. And, you know, that comes to be hard for me sometimes
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  because I think, you know, well, I'm properly armed with facts about
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  myself and I know the solution. Well, I should be able to help. Well,
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  Do I trust in this program that I'm in? And today,
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  I think when I look at the program I'm in and
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  I have fears, but am
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  I allowed to trust in it and trust in— and I think that's where we
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  become stewards of this program to help keep it the same the
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  way we came in for the next person, because it's not about me
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  anymore. It's about the person that hasn't walked in the door yet.
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  And so I want to keep the program I'm in the
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  same for if my son has to walk in those doors. I know that it's
• 18:18
  efficient, and I know that God's efficient, and God's always been efficient in my life
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  because I wouldn't be here talking to you if I wasn't.
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  I think it's really important when I know who I am and I'm properly armed
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  with these facts, I'm able to win the confidence of another
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  man that's in the same position. And what if I'm not though? That's okay.
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  Because on 164 in the Big
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  Book, and I'm really just thumping along. I don't like the word Big Book
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  thumper. I like Big Book mechanic better.
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  There's a lot more people that are very more well-read in the literature
• 18:52
  than I am, but this is what you get for today.
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  It tells me, it says on page 164,
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  God will constantly disclose more to you and us, you know,
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  so I got more things to be disclosed to.
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  Ask him in your morning meditation what
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  you can do each day for the man who is still sick. The answers will
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  come if your own house is in order, but obviously
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  you cannot transmit something you haven't got.
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  See to it that your relation with him is right, and great events will come
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  to pass for you and countless others. This is the great fact for us.
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  And when I look at that, I think If I read this
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  in a position where my house is in order, right, it tells me what to
• 19:35
  do. But then when I read it into a position where my— well,
• 19:39
  maybe my house isn't in order and maybe I need to ask God,
• 19:44
  you know, what do I do to make
• 19:47
  my relationship right? Right? What do I need to clean up to
• 19:52
  have a better conscious contact with you? What's blocking me from you? And I do
• 19:56
  that, and I ask God, you know, show me what's blocking me in between me
• 20:00
  and you, because usually I can feel it, and usually I can see that,
• 20:03
  you know, hey, you know, I'm having this block from me and you,
• 20:06
  and something doesn't feel right. And maybe that's steeped in
• 20:09
  prayer, or maybe that's just steeped— maybe I need to do some more. I don't
• 20:13
  know what, you know, I, I believe in prayer, meditation, and meditation,
• 20:17
  getting quiet. Um,
• 20:21
  well, uh, close this up. I'm getting close to my
• 20:25
  25-minute mark. Thank you,
• 20:28
  Pastor Mike, for editing these and dealing with me for the time we've
• 20:32
  been doing this. I'm really grateful for that and our friendship, and I tell
• 20:36
  you that all the time anyways. But prayer: Father,
• 20:39
  keep my heart aware of those who still suffer. Through your Holy
• 20:43
  Spirit, give me compassion and courage to help when I can,
• 20:47
  where I can. Shape my life through the example of Jesus and
• 20:50
  use me as an instrument of your love and care.
• 20:54
  Amen. Thank you,