Latest / All Figured Out with Andrea Barr: Figuring Out Work, Life and Parenting / 25. Wellbeing and efficiency: how hiring experts can help you figure out your life

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25. Wellbeing and efficiency: how hiring experts can help you figure out your life · All Figured Out with Andrea Barr: Figuring Out Work, Life and Parenting

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You're listening to the all figured out podcast, I'm your
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host Aundrea bar. As a career coach for parents, a
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mom and entrepreneur. And someone who spent ten plus
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years in the corporate world, I still don't have it all figured
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out and maybe you don't. Either this podcast, I'll share
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tools and strategies that I use as my clients and in the many
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areas where I don't have things figured out.
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I'll be bringing you some amazing guest experts to help us
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fill in the Gap. So tune in each week as we
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explore how to make career and life decisions that truly work
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for you, your family and your big goals.
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Let's make moves. I love working with people who
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are smarter than me. I honestly think that it's the
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epitome of efficiency to just surround myself with people who
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are smarter and more knowledgeable than I am at
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certain topics or just life skills.
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Anything so far in life, that's taken really a lot of different
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forms for me taking many different shapes, and it could
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include things like hiring decisions when I've ever been.
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In a position of hiring people on my team, when I was in the
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corporate world, I am not just saying this, I Constantly be
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looking for people who could fill in the gaps on my team or
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fill in the gaps in myself. So not hiring the same people as
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myself. Well, that can sometimes, you
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know, pose certain different personalities and, you know,
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personalities that you're working with, it is so much
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better in the long run. If you can hire people, or you
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can bring people into your world who are different from you and
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have different skills. So that was an obvious one and
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then there's of course things like doctors and Specialists, of
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course I'm not going to go to medical school, just to figure
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out that I have the flu. So that's another form that
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hiring or hiring or being surrounded by people who are
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smarter or have different skill sets than you can kind of take
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form. Also, there's things like
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complimentary services like massage osteopathy naturopathy.
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Those are also examples of surrounding yourself with people
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who have a different skill set. And then finally, there's people
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like me paying Educators, Consultants, coaches, people who
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have kind of a unique skill set and unique, take, who can help
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you in life in business and that's all Thing.
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So, why do I truly enjoy surrounding myself with these
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types of people and how has it benefited me in life and to the
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point where I want to do a podcast episode on this?
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Well, to be honest, first of all, if I'm just thinking about
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like life enjoyment, it's more interesting to be surrounded by
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people who are different from you take the professional part
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of this out of the equation. Take the you know, the doctors
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who you actually need or the paramedical services that are
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really nice to have like take all of that out of the equation.
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And when it comes down to just making a more interesting life,
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I think that having people who have different skill sets, kind
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of come from a different approach.
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It's just so much more interesting.
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Secondly, it of course, saves you time from having to learn
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the thing by yourself. So I used the example of
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becoming a doctor just to, you know, figure out that you have
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the flu. That's a super extreme example.
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But, you know, there's things like hiring somebody to help you
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with a task. That will take them so much less
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time than it would take you or having to learn how to do some
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sort of task. I mean, I'm thinking of things.
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On taskrabbit like getting somebody to help you with, you
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know, assemble some Ikea furniture of which we've been
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doing a little bit of recently, is we prepare to have a baby or,
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you know, getting your nails done like you could, these are
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all things that you can do and if you have the time and
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resources and if they align with your values and where you
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actually want to be spending your time and if it's not in
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those areas, then that's just efficiency.
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And that just saves you time. Another kind of example, would
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just be if there's a task, that's a you're doing at work,
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or in your again, in your personal life, that requires a
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different type of skill, like something that you would have
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to, you know, do a bit of a course or like watch a bunch of
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YouTube videos on, or if there's like a safety component, I'm
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thinking about all the electrical jobs that probably go
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really wrong because people try to do them themselves, you know,
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again if the time and resources are available to you, that is a
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really great use of money for you to be, just be able to
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Outsource and Save. Yourself time.
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Another reason why I really enjoy, you know, thinking about
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who's in my world and who's in my network and what experts and
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professionals that I like to employ or surround myself with
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is it gives you an outside perspective and I really, really
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loved that as much as I can be hard, sometimes to be told that
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you should be avoiding Dairy because it seems like every time
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you eat dairy you get a rash on your face and even though you
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know that you need somebody else sometimes to just like validate
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you should probably stop. Eating dairy because it seems
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like you might be a bit sensitive to it or, you know,
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going to a counseling session. I'm so huge, huge, huge
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proponent of really supporting and focusing as much, you know,
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money time resources, as you can in your to your mental health
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and sometimes you're in those types of sessions.
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Like, if you've ever been in a therapy session and you're
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sitting there and you're talking and you get asked a question or
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you are given a perspective on something that you already know
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to be true, you know, it's something that you could begin.
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No slowing down Richard you reducing stress in your life,
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trying meditation, things like that.
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Yeah, these are things that we know to be true and to be
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helpful but sometimes it's just having that outside perspective,
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sometimes it can come in a different, it can just land
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differently, you know, you're in a counseling session and the way
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the person describes it can just be like, oh wow, I never
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actually thought about it like that, you know, the behaviors
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that you're not working on in yourself.
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Are affecting other people. The reason why you should be
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working on this and it's like, oh, wow, okay, you know, that,
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that really hits home. And so sometimes these different
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perspectives can really create efficiency and huge benefits for
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your life. And I think the final Point
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around this just kind of giving the context is why I think this
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is such an important topic, is it gives you this opportunity to
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take in all the information and then make a decision from there?
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So, instead of just starting off with, like, you know, 1% of
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knowledge and information that you can accumulate on your own.
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Own through your own life experiences.
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How about you broaden that to, you know, 5% 10% and increase
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your spectrum of knowledge and understanding through the use of
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other people? And when you do that, you can
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take what you like and you can leave what you don't.
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And so if you've never actually broaden, your horizons are
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broadened your perspectives, listen to somebody else's point
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of view, gotten an expert opinion on something, it's not
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to say that you have to take the opinions of everybody that you
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have to employ x, y and z And whatever that looks like.
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But if you take in the information you can then be
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empowered to make the decision from there on what you want to
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do with that information. After all, you're an adult, this
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is the best part of being an adult is that you aren't told
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what to do. You can make your own decisions
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when I think back on my first experience with professionals
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outside of say the medical world or teachers and things like
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that. And since you and is in a
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situation where I was kind of part of the decision-making
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process was when I was, I think I was about 15 years old and I
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was sitting in my doctor's office, my family doctor and I
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was kind of hunched over just sitting, you know, getting
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checked out for something and my doctor kind of looked at my mom
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and looked at me and said, you know, it's never talk to you
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about scoliosis and, you know, long story short, turns out that
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I had kyphosis which is kind of the sister to school llosa's.
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So I kind of had a lack of a better word, a hunchback.
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So my my spine kind of grew more rounded at the top.
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I grew really fast and they think that also, Had this
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tailbone injury when I was playing hockey as a kid and they
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think that might have kind of caused it as well.
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So that was a really interesting experience.
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So I get diagnosed with kyphosis and a bit of scoliosis and I got
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sent to the Children's Hospital to do, all the tests and exams
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and I ended up in a back brace so you can probably imagine as a
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15 year old girl. I think I still had braces at
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this point. There was just a lot happening
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and I was super, super motivated to not have a curved back.
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It's something I started to kind of notice a little bit
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aesthetically but it wasn't. It wasn't, you know, horrific by
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any means but it was something is hard to notice and so you
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know I was being told that like, if we don't fix this now and if
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this doesn't work then yes I might kind of be hunched over
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later in life and that just terrified me.
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So I was really motivated and I have a, you know, a mom and
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parents who are all behind like, you know, throwing whatever we
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can at problems like this or situations.
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And so my mom was Totally on board.
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And we got into like research mode.
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And we were like, okay, what can we do to support this?
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We've got the back brace, we've got a team of awesome doctors at
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the Children's Hospital in Toronto.
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What else could we be doing to help the situation out?
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I was also experiencing back pain so I guess that could have
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been an indicator as well, but I was, my back was always a little
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bit achy and it was pretty hard for me to like, actually stand
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up straight. So, I have this back brace, I
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have to wear it. 24-hour 23 hours a day.
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I think taking it off, you know, for one hour for Shaw.
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Showering and changing whatever. And so, again, long story short,
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my mom and I were doing some research and talking different
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different people, and we came to the decision that I needed some
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strength, support some back mobility, and something else.
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And so through again, talking to different people and starting to
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understand, just the world of experts available in the back
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Health industry. If you will, we landed on
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Pilates and an osteopath. So I worked with those
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professionals, you know way back before.
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School. So I was 15 years old and I can
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say that, you know, I had really great success and who knows if I
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hadn't done those things, maybe the back brace would have done
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done their own thing and been great or whatever.
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But I really do believe that the supplement of having those
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paramedical services. So, you know, a clinically
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trained blood, he's instructor and an osteopath, really, really
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helped the outcome of my back Health journey.
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And I feel really good now and I, you know, I'm at the time of
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recording this. I'm like super, super pregnant.
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Went. And I was actually always
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worried about getting pregnant with this back condition that I
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had and because I've really learned so much about my back so
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much about my body and have always focused on, you know, the
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strength that's required in the back area, I feel really good.
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My back isn't a huge issue, you know, about the other ailments,
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but I wouldn't say is my back, is the main issue.
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And so, that's where I really got started in this whole
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spectrum of just understanding and starting to really
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appreciate the value of experts and professionals.
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So Going on in my own personal Journey.
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The next juncture I would say was in my 20s this was you know,
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I've talked about this before my advertising days, I was 20
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something I was going out at night with friends, it was all
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over the place, working crazy, crazy hours.
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And my health was I wouldn't say starting to decline but just was
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not optimal was getting a lot more migraines.
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I had some unexplained ailments like you know a bit of I would
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break out a little bit or you know have like stomach issues
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sometimes. Like these funny things you have
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fatigue. And all these things that I
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couldn't really explain and there wasn't like a oh, this
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really big thing is happening to the point where I'd go to a
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doctor. And so that's when I actually
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found a naturopath and started working with a naturopath, and
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that was a really great experience.
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And if nothing else, I just learned a bit about, you know,
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things like taking fish, oil, and magnesium, which are two
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supplements that most of us. I'm not a doctor.
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This is not advice, but a lot of people are deficient in.
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I mean, I didn't eat fish that the I'm and most humans are
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magnesium deficient. And so there's things like that
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that I was learning. I had never taken vitamin D
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before she told me about vitamin D.
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So I just kind of learned some of these bets but apart from the
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whole supplementation thing, she talked to me like a human being
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and she asked really great questions and she asked
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questions about my lifestyle and she gave recommendations in that
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area and I was like, wow, my mind is expanded.
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And if there is another benefit, that would come of something
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like that experience. You know what, I'm a twenty
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something year old and I'm Chatting with a naturopath.
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Was that it actually gave me this curiosity?
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So it wasn't like, I went to her and I had all the answers in the
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world, figure it out, but it kind of gave me enough of a
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taste to then go on and explore further.
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What I was interested in. And so I started researching
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more about Hormone Health and just learning about my body
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which I know all of us complain. Like why don't we ever learn the
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practical skills in school? That's for another time but I
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didn't know a lot about my body. I didn't know a lot about my
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hormones and I didn't know how I could Could be optimized again.
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We everybody complains about how we only fix ourselves, you know,
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in the Health Care System wherever you are.
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I mean we're in Canada. We often don't fix things until
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like they're going seriously wrong or there's dis ease or
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disease and I just, I don't know.
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I think I started to get a taste for all this and realize a, huh?
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Like I don't have to wait for things to get bad, like I don't
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have to wait to have a hunched back to make some changes.
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I don't have Have to wait until I'm like, I know there's like
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crazy problems that are happening in my body because I
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haven't taken vitamin D or whatever.
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Like, I can get ahead of some of these things, and that's when I
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started to kind of seeing it, as, you know, the word like
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optimization, which, a lot of people use like, oh man.
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Optimize my health. And its really, really very
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Macho thing to say. But but truly, like, what are
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the things that I could start getting really excited about?
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Like, one of the things I could be doing to like to get ahead
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and to take control, it's a really big value of mine is to
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not take control. But to not be a victim in my own
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life, not just let things happen.
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But actually, you know, put things in place to support my
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future self or myself tomorrow and that sort of thing.
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Anyways, I digress. But that was a really cool
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point. It was really cool, you know,
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opportunity in my life and my 20s were like, I didn't really
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have a lot of people to talk about this stuff with because it
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was still not that mainstream, but it was something I started
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realizing. I was really excited about to
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explore more and then, you know, come Um, to 2023.
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It is on every podcast. Everyone's obsessed with
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wellness and it's amazing like, you know, some people get there
14:14
being a bonnet about like oh the wellness industry and this and
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that and how I can look at it and how I like to look at it is
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our people getting more information that they can then
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make their own decisions from great.
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You know, are people coming out of this, like darkness of
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thinking that like you just keep going, going going until you're
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crashing and burning? And then you solve the problem.
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And if we can get people to really think, More proactively
14:37
about their health and their life then great.
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So I think we're at a really cool time and place in this
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industry. And you know, there's there's
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Shadows to everything but I think that there's a lot of
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positives there. So if I were to talk about my
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crew I like to you know, ask people when I'm coaching doing
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even doing career coaching work, it always goes whole life.
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Like we talked about a person's life that we talk about a
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person's you know, relationship and their health and and their
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career and how all those things intersect And I always say,
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who's in your corner, who's in your crew?
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And so, who's in my corner, who's in my crew, is a pretty
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dialed team of professionals. At this point, I was on a
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podcast or, no, I wasn't on a podcast.
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I was in at an event of all day event, with the business babes
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Collective and I was a panel of guests and I can't remember what
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the question was. But in summary one of like, the
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part of the answer that I gave was just talking about, having
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to kiss a few frogs, and it was probably in the context of
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careers you Having to kiss a few frogs to find the career that
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you, that you really love. And that, you know, great for
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you. I think that I love that phrase
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and I think it's so cute. And I think it applies to so
15:46
much in life, where you've got to kiss a few frogs.
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So I have kissed a lot of frogs in the wellness and just
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professionals realm. If you will, I moved to
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Vancouver, I don't even know 2016.
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I think was so quite a few years ago and when I got here, I had a
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pretty good Good dial team. Like I was talking about when I
16:08
lived in Toronto and then I had to start from scratch and that
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was pretty hard. So I had to kiss a few more
16:13
frogs to find the people that I really appreciate and enjoy.
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And so for me based on where I'm at, in my life, based on my
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health Journey based on, you know, the support that I've kind
16:25
of figured out that I want and need and desire and where I'm
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I'm willing to put resources towards including time and
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money. I have an osteopath.
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So an osteopath is case. You don't know Just somebody who
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is who looks at the entire body. So there are manual practitioner
16:41
their kind of part, like they do cranial, sacral therapy.
16:44
Some of them it's like a tiny bit of massage, it's moving your
16:47
body a little bit, like it's so many things combined you might
16:51
have to just Google it. I don't even know if I could
16:52
explain it in an eloquent way that an osteopath for me has
16:56
been such a consistent part of my back healing journey and it's
17:00
been really, really helpful. I love that the way that they
17:03
look at, you know, if I'm saying, I'm complaining of
17:05
shoulder pains or whatever. She's he's not just looking, my
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osteopath isn't just looking at my shoulder.
17:10
She's looking at the mechanics in my entire body which is
17:12
incredible. Also on my team are people like
17:16
naturopath. I have a naturopath have an
17:18
acupuncturist, I see a counselor and I like to go get massages.
17:22
So some of those look something like the body things.
17:24
I really love body practices. I think in another life I
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probably was one or maybe one day we'll be in another life.
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Those are kind of like the the body Health side of things mind.
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And then in From a professional sense.
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There's things like the business Mastermind that I talked about.
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So the business page Collective is the group that I'm a part of,
17:43
and we meet there's about 15 of us who meet bi-weekly and we
17:47
support each other and each other's businesses.
17:49
And that is such a wonderful investment for me, becoming an
17:52
entrepreneur moving from a space where I was in an office, you
17:56
know, always with people always working with people to being so
17:59
low. It's been such a great help and
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Bridge for me in my professional Journey, other people that you
18:04
could include or think about, in this This sphere would be.
18:07
Do you like to get your nails done?
18:09
Do you get your hair done? Who's your Barber to you?
18:12
Get, you know services, like, house cleaners.
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I know, I'm talking about things at all cost money, but even
18:20
friends or family members who are kind of experts in their
18:23
own, right, in certain industries, like you might have
18:26
your mother-in-law, might be a lawyer and so you, you know, get
18:29
legal advice from her or whatever.
18:30
It is like, who are the people in your life who you really
18:34
really, really trust. It's such a good idea to do an
18:38
audit of that every so often, especially as you kind of
18:40
changed life phases and stages. So my crew back in my 20s looks
18:45
a little bit different than my crew.
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Now, if you're still not buying what I'm saying or you're not
18:50
really picking up what? I'm throwing down here.
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Because you're like, oh well I don't know.
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We have kids and it should I be prioritizing my time and more
18:57
money in these areas. This feels kind of gluttonous.
19:01
I totally hear you and I hear this a lot when I'm working with
19:05
people. I'm not you saying, you know,
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throw money at every problem. That's not what this is about.
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But it's really about getting clear on what are your values?
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What do you enjoy spending time doing?
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Do you like cleaning or is it the worst part of your week and
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it takes you a really long time and it takes you away from your
19:20
family and if that's the case, what could it look like if you
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had additional support, whether it is support within your
19:27
family. So you actually like create a
19:28
chore wheel or is it support by having a cleaner, come once a
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month, even, you know, you don't have to go all in and get
19:34
someone to come in once a week. So those are just kind of
19:37
examples of like there can be a spectrum.
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A really big point. I want to stress here is hiring
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experts, and having professional support truly does save, you
19:46
time and it increases your efficiency.
19:49
Now, there's definitely some stuff that is involved saying in
19:52
terms of like, say driving to an appointment, if you're doing
19:55
that, or having to book, and having to do this and that, but
19:58
think about it this way. If you got ahead of say,
20:01
something in your body, like, I'm going to use an e as an
20:04
example. A lot of people have knee
20:05
ailments. You know, people are runners or
20:08
we're just were really hard on her knees and they're very weak
20:10
joints or there's the ligaments and everything and muscles
20:13
around, there are quite weak and so say you didn't get ahead of
20:17
that and then you ended up having to do a ton of rehab
20:20
because you tore your ACL or you had to get surgery and you were
20:24
out like really think about some of that stuff.
20:27
If you hadn't have wrecked your knee to the point where you
20:31
needed to, you know, be flat out, what could that have looked
20:35
like, if you had just hired a Of help to support you, in learning
20:38
to run a bit better. Hiring a running coach to say,
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okay, can you look at my stride? Can you see if if I'm doing
20:44
everything properly, if there's a way that I can optimize my
20:46
stride so that I can reduce the amount of friction like in that
20:50
area and so that saves time and that increases efficiency.
20:53
And also, when you think about the dollar value on that, I know
20:57
I'm really making a good case here.
20:59
When I say that, if you have to be outfits a for a week or two
21:02
and use your vacation or take unpaid time off, or whatever it
21:05
is because you have to have Of surgery.
21:08
Couldn't you have just spent like a couple hundred dollars on
21:11
hiring a running coach or seeing physio a bit more proactively
21:16
for that knee injury. So that's just another way to
21:18
kind of think about it. I think another reason why
21:20
hiring experts are having your own team of professionals that
21:24
you really trust and can lean on for support is not having to
21:28
consistently Google or ask for advice from people on like
21:33
quote-unquote best physio in North Vancouver every Months.
21:37
I don't know about you but there's something that just gets
21:40
so frustrating about that. When you're having to find
21:43
somebody new every single time, remember moving to Vancouver and
21:47
just, I did have to kiss a few frogs, like I had to try a
21:49
couple different professionals, you know, when 21 hair salon and
21:52
then went to another one. And it was just so I don't know,
21:55
kind of a hassle. Like, there's a lot of fatigue
21:57
that becomes involved in that when having to find a place, get
22:01
a recommendation book. An appointment, you don't know
22:03
where you're going. You don't know what you're
22:04
getting yourself into, you don't know what the Cost is your
22:07
building a new relationship. It's just so lovely and so
22:11
awesome. If you can just have those
22:12
relationships set up already and then another piece I want to say
22:16
here, is that having professionals and experts on
22:18
your team, really does save time and increase efficiency if you
22:22
maintain some sort of consistent Rhythm to it.
22:25
And so, that's just something, that's something that I've just
22:27
found from experience, is again, having consistency with a person
22:31
who really gets to know you, your appointments become
22:34
shorter. So like I'll think about my
22:36
Natural path. For example, she's got these
22:38
extended visit options in these shorter, visit options, and
22:41
we've probably been working together now, for about three or
22:44
four years, and we can probably get our meetings done in like 15
22:48
minutes, half an hour. So I only have to pay for a
22:51
shorter session at this point because she knows me so well
22:54
I've learned to get to know my body because we work together.
22:57
I can really efficiently and quickly tell her how I'm feeling
23:00
and what I'm experiencing and boom were done.
23:03
So there really is a lot of efficiency and saving when you
23:07
kind of get yourself into a situation where you're already
23:09
in a familiar place and the person knows you and you've got
23:12
a relationship now. I do want to say that with all
23:15
of this, I'm definitely promoting this whole like find a
23:18
person to be in your corner and stick with it but the whole
23:20
consistency thing I definitely of course want to say that if
23:24
there's any part of you that ever feels uncomfortable by
23:29
somebody who is supporting you in anything, they could be an
23:31
electrician, they could be a body worker, it could be like
23:34
your real estate agent, whatever.
23:36
It is definitely check in with your gut and just see what's
23:40
coming up there. So, you know, is there, did they
23:43
make you uncomfortable? Is there some sort of, like just
23:46
values misalignment, some sort of weird feeling and listen to
23:50
that? So don't just, you know, come go
23:53
to the first person that you meet and be like, okay, well I
23:56
should really give this the good old College try and stick with
23:59
that person for six months of which, you know, you go for this
24:02
massage and it's supposed to be lovely and enjoyable and healing
24:05
and six. Months later, you're like, wow,
24:07
it's such a chore. I really don't like this person.
24:10
They make me feel uncomfortable, like, but I wanted to stick it
24:13
out, like don't stick it out so, you know, be Discerning them in
24:16
that sort of thing. But I'm just saying, if you do
24:18
find someone that you really jive with, then come up with
24:21
some sort of consistency with that.
24:23
Again, whether it's infrequently but consistent, it can really,
24:27
really help something else that I'm just thinking of now,
24:29
actually is, there's a lot of Wellness clinics now that are
24:32
kind of a One-Stop shop, which is really nice.
24:34
So, if you find somebody I'd say a wellness clinic that is a
24:38
masseuse often times they'll have physios or acupuncturists
24:42
within the same roof. And if you know, the person who
24:45
owns the clinic hired that one massage therapist chances are
24:49
there will be a values alignment with the different practitioner.
24:52
So that's gonna be a really, really great way to also save
24:55
time and efficiency if you want to Stack a couple of
24:57
appointments together, that's just another hot tip.
25:00
Now, I want to talk about tips for hiring professionals and
25:03
experts. So, throughout my life, I have
25:05
had Very different roles. I've been in the corporate
25:08
world. I've been in the entrepreneurial
25:10
world. I've been a human being, I've
25:12
had reasons why I have had to seek out professionals and
25:15
experts. I own a home and so I've had to
25:18
do things, like, you know, hiring a mill worker or
25:21
electrician or whatever it is. And there's a few things that
25:24
I've learned along the way is, this is my perspective, and some
25:27
of the things that I've learned first and foremost, it's of
25:30
course, always getting clearer. I think I'm a bit of a broken
25:32
record on this podcast, but first up is, of course, always
25:35
getting clear on Our intention is so before going to find a
25:39
practitioner for, you know, a chiropractor or a naturopath
25:43
because your neighbor told you like, you should really see a
25:47
chiropractor. You should really see a
25:48
naturopath. What's your why behind it?
25:50
So, first and foremost, get super clear on some of the goals
25:53
that you have for your life, whether it's in your
25:54
professional life, your personal life, as a parent, whatever it
25:58
is and really see like what are some of those gaps?
26:01
These are the things I constantly talk about, what are
26:03
some of the areas that you're really working on growing.
26:05
And And how might professionals are experts support you in that
26:09
and then you can go from there and you can say, okay, I'm like
26:12
really focused on my health right now or I'm really focused
26:15
on becoming the best version of myself as a parent and I'd love
26:18
some support with that. So get really clear on what some
26:21
of your goals are first and foremost.
26:24
So how do you actually find the right professional for you?
26:27
Now, this is this is an interesting one because I think
26:30
we all love to give each other. A lot of advice and we are all I
26:35
was of talked about this. For like we're all very
26:37
passionate about the people that we love.
26:39
But I would say when you're seeking out advice, be really
26:42
just learning and be really careful about who you're asking
26:45
for advice from. So when it comes to say
26:49
something like in the parenting world, if you were a mother and
26:51
you are about to have your first baby or your second baby, or
26:55
whatever it is, and you want to get to know, okay, who am I need
26:59
support with like a lactation consultant or sleep or whatever
27:02
it is, go with the people that you're really aligned with.
27:06
My values perspective. So does that person parent like
27:09
you does that person approach life like you would you really
27:12
value and respect and opinion that they gave if they were to
27:16
be giving you advice, is it advice that you feel like you
27:18
would be aligned with that sort of thing?
27:21
So be really careful. It's really good to get advice
27:24
and to get recommendations from people who, of course, have
27:26
already used a practitioner or an expert or a professional, but
27:31
only if that person is somebody who you actually want to take
27:35
advice from So simple, I know, but we have to hear it every so
27:39
often. You don't have to take
27:41
everybody's advice and if someone were to, you know, feel
27:44
really strongly, sometimes we can get all of us.
27:46
Can get really pushy about like, oh my God, you have to go to
27:48
this person. I do this all the time.
27:50
Sometimes, I have to remind myself in, but you can just say,
27:54
like, okay, cool, amazing thanks for the Recoleta, don't have to
27:56
follow up. You don't have to tell them if
27:58
you went or did not go. So just be Discerning for
28:00
yourself. Be really careful about who
28:02
you're taking advice from my actual.
28:06
Favorite way to get advice on other professionals, is to ask
28:11
other professionals so I will go to my naturopath at which I have
28:15
done in the past and that's how I found my acupuncturist.
28:18
I said hey I just keep hearing that acupuncture can be amazing
28:21
and pregnancy. I've suffered with some pretty
28:24
really awful pelvic pain. Kind of my second trimester I
28:28
was like oh I was so debilitating and I was really in
28:32
a lot of pain and so I asked my naturopath like please do you
28:35
have anybody you could Recommend I trust my naturopath with, you
28:39
know, everything she's amazing, she's super helpful and she was
28:43
like, actually, yes, I just happened to meet this woman.
28:45
She seems amazing. I think you guys would really
28:48
drive, like you would your personalities would really get
28:51
along lo and behold, I used to hate acupuncture.
28:54
I've had really weird experiences, which I'll save for
28:56
another time, but I go to this woman Gabrielle and she is
29:01
incredible. Like, there's something about
29:03
her soul that just speaks to me. And And that coupled with some
29:08
other practitioners. My pelvic pain was significantly
29:12
reduced to the point where I actually don't experience the
29:15
pain anymore and I'm a week and a half away from giving birth.
29:18
So that is my favorite way to get a good recommendation.
29:22
Is through other professionals. That I really enjoy another way
29:25
that you can make. This decision is getting to know
29:27
the person beforehand kind of threw a bit of research.
29:30
So not just Googling, not just reviews, I find reviews are
29:35
great, we all have to do them. Actually going into maybe their
29:39
Instagram account, there are podcast sign up for their
29:42
newsletter. See if they have any events
29:44
going on, like get to know them as a person.
29:46
First, if it's a really big investment and it's someone that
29:50
you're like, okay, I really want to get to know this person
29:52
before I commit. Most people, most people who
29:55
are, you know, their own business owners or whatever.
29:56
They'll have some sort of content that they put out or
29:59
maybe a free consultation, you can do like a 15-minute video
30:02
chat and you can pretty quickly get to know.
30:04
Does this person speak my language?
30:06
Which are they? Somebody that I really want to
30:08
take advice from, do they feel aligned with who I am now side,
30:13
tangent would be just because somebody is a professional and
30:16
they might have more experience and knowledge than you doesn't
30:20
mean that they have to be your person.
30:22
I mean, I'm thinking about that example, if you listen to my my
30:24
episode where I interview my husband, Scotty on his health
30:27
Journey, there was only actually we were really lucky.
30:30
There was only one doctor that we had pretty major issues with.
30:36
It was a doctor who we actually ended up getting a second
30:39
opinion from somebody else. And then we actually never saw
30:42
her again because we just felt like we just were not
30:45
comfortable with her approach. And we were not a, we were not
30:48
comfortable with her caring and providing health care for
30:51
Scotty. So I just want to call that out
30:54
that like just because a person has a doctor in front of their
30:57
name just because they have gone to incredible amounts of
31:00
schooling in this one area and they're probably incredible at
31:03
what they do. If you don't feel comfortable
31:05
then, Then it's it's a really bad feeling.
31:08
I'm not sure if you're listening right now and you've experienced
31:11
this, you know what I'm talking about.
31:12
But it's energetically if you want to go a bit, you know,
31:15
spiritual like if the person's energy doesn't match yours, it
31:19
can be a really hard experience. And I honestly believe that it
31:22
can kind of contribute to not having the best like healing or
31:27
the best outcome because of the fact that you just you don't
31:31
fully trust the person. So definitely trust is a huge
31:34
piece and just You know what, getting to know a person.
31:37
Even if you've already hired the person you started working with
31:39
them and you're like, oh no, this is not the right fit.
31:42
You are always entitled to a second opinion.
31:45
You were always entitled to say, thank you but this isn't working
31:50
for me and step away when you do end up finding an expert or
31:53
professional, who you're like, yes, I want to bring you into my
31:56
fold. This seems like a great fit.
31:59
Then it's really important to like any relationship to set,
32:01
really clear expectations and boundaries and this does not
32:04
have to be this intense. Isolation where you're like,
32:07
let's talk about expectations and boundaries know, it can be
32:10
as simple as hey. I just want to ask you a few
32:12
questions around like your comfort level around this or
32:16
your boundaries around this. I will use the vaccination as an
32:20
example. I did have a situation where I
32:24
actually did walk out of a session with somebody because I
32:27
realized I, this was totally my fault, had not asked the person.
32:31
This was in the height of covid and Scotty was in and out of the
32:33
hospital. So this is where I'm coming
32:34
from. And Unfortunately I forgot to
32:38
ask the clinic. If this person, this
32:40
practitioner was vaccinated and for me at the time it was it was
32:45
important and it was a bit of a values thing for me, too.
32:48
So anyways, I won't get into that but I forgot to ask and so
32:52
I'm sitting there with this person for the first two minutes
32:54
and I just got this feeling in my stomach and I was like, oh I
32:58
forgot to ask that question and so I asked her and she said well
33:02
no I'm not and I knew right then and there II wasn't going to
33:07
proceed with the appointment, any further.
33:09
But then there was also this moment, I just have to call out
33:11
for she continued to. I didn't ask any follow-up
33:14
questions. I was just about to say, okay,
33:16
no problem. I will still pay for the
33:17
session. It is totally my fault.
33:20
I forgot to ask and that's on me, but I didn't do that.
33:23
And she proceeded to kind of like, try to talk about why she
33:26
wasn't and that's her thing and I was like, whoa, this is just,
33:29
this is too much, this is not, you know what, I've signed up
33:32
for what I want out of this. And so I did leave the
33:35
appointment in a really Way paid for the session and that sort of
33:39
thing. So, really good to just set the
33:41
expectations and boundaries that you have or that they have in
33:43
place up front. And if things pop up like you
33:47
know, part way through working with this person.
33:49
You like you're a couple months in and they're like hey like I'm
33:52
just want to just call out that like you're consistently late
33:55
and I have back to back meetings and so I just want to let you
33:57
know that like I can't go over time.
33:59
Like if you're late for your one hour massage, I can't still give
34:02
you a one arm massage and so be open to that to somebody's
34:05
giving you feedback. Or just letting, you know, about
34:07
their expectations in their boundaries.
34:09
Like, that's a healthy part of a relationship with an expert.
34:12
And then the last point I want to say about this Wonder hiring
34:15
or getting to know different experts and Professionals in my
34:18
opinion. And in my experience, this is
34:21
also my personality, but I really like to get to know the
34:24
person that I'm working with. Sometimes they're not open to
34:27
that like you could have, you know, a surgeon who is really,
34:30
really busy and they come in, they come out whatever.
34:32
But I really like to get to know the person behind the mask or
34:36
the person Behind the practice, the lawyer, the whatever and
34:40
just get to know, you know what are they about?
34:42
What are they like who do they like working with?
34:44
And I just have always found that that builds a stronger
34:47
connection is stronger relationship.
34:49
They become more of an advocate for me and my health.
34:52
They feel more comfortable giving their honest opinion.
34:55
So if you've built that relationship, they don't feel
34:57
like they're kind of walking on tiptoes around you.
34:59
They can feel honest with you because you've built this
35:02
Rapport. I think that that can really pay
35:04
off in Spades and just adds to the Oh, that person in the
35:07
strength of that person being in your corner.
35:10
So if I were to do a quick recap on this, I would say number one,
35:13
frequently audit who's in your corner, does it feel like enough
35:17
does it feel like the right crew of people, does it feel like the
35:20
there's anything missing, there's anybody missing there's
35:23
any support that you're missing, does it feel like there's
35:25
somebody in your corner who maybe you want to sub out for
35:28
somebody else that's sort of thing, number to see it as an
35:32
efficient use of your time. Not something to beat yourself
35:35
up over it. This quote from Natalie act
35:38
doll, she has a podcast for business professionals and she
35:42
says, just because you can do something doesn't mean that you
35:45
should and I love that. So if you're about to beat
35:48
yourself up over hiring a cleaner, just stop and really do
35:51
a quick audit and understand the, why behind it and see it as
35:55
an efficient use of your time. If that's the case.
35:57
Number three, find the right professionals and manage that
35:59
relationship in an adult way. So having open lines of
36:03
communication setting expectations getting to know
36:06
them as a A human being and really nurture those, those
36:10
relationships and pass up the relationships that just don't
36:13
seem to be working for you as well.
36:15
And finally, I have to finish off by calling out that you
36:18
might have to kiss a few frogs but it's so so sweet when you do
36:21
find the right people to be supporting you.
36:24
So lean into consistency where and when possible be consistent
36:28
with those people who really do support you in your life, with
36:31
your mind, your body and your soul that can really help you
36:34
optimize and get to the next level of whatever.
36:36
Does your out to achieve so have fun with this process and let me
36:40
know how it goes. Thank you for listening.
36:43
You can access all resources mentioned in this episode via my
36:46
website andreea bar.com / podcast and let's chat on
36:50
Instagram. I'm at andreea bar coaching and
36:52
I reply that every DM. I get if you loved this episode,
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37:01
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