Latest / The Mental Healness Podcast / The worst time of the year for a Narcissist

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The worst time of the year for a Narcissist · The Mental Healness Podcast

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  What is going on, beautiful people.
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  Today we're going to be talking about narc season, a narcissist
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  worst time of the year. The worst time of the year for a
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  narcissist, the holiday season. If you're new here, my name is
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  Lee Hammock. I'm a self aware narcissist.
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  And welcome to another episode of the Narcissist Code.
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  I'm back. I had to break it out.
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  Yeah, I had to break it out. I'm an actor at heart, Y'all see
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  that Lee Hammock? I'm an actor at heart and
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  whatnot. So today y'all, before we happy
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  today deep in today's episode, y'all.
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  It's official Dallas and Houston, TX on November the 2nd
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  and November the 3rd of this year.
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  You can find and register for our live in person events at
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  mentalmentalillness.net/events. Dallas, TX on November the 2nd
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  and November the 3rd, 2024. I don't know when you're
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  watching this video but we have more to come so check out Mental
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  illness.net/events anyway. But yes, yes yes.
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  Y'all narcissistic people. Narc season.
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  What is narc season? Y'all been following me for any
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  time of the year. I mean anytime of any amount of
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  time, especially around this time of the year.
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  I do one of these update videos every year.
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  It's about narc season. The holiday season this time of
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  the year is like between now October through damn near
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  February, October through February probably going to be
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  the worst, the hardest time of the year for a narcissistic
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  person for you to be dealing with them as well.
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  Because this time of the year is when a lot of narcissists tend
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  to lose their damn minds. A lot of us lose our minds
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  around this time of the year because it's the holiday season,
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  y'all. It's so overwhelming.
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  So many, so many people ask me why do narcissists get so bad
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  around the holidays? It's so, yes.
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  Could there have been some childhood trauma around that's
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  centered around the holidays? Absolutely yes, but a lot of
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  times it's just so much going on at the same time.
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  Y'all, it's back-to-back to back holidays like not even including
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  your birthday. Your birthday can fall in your
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  birthday can be in September or your birthday could be in March.
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  So you narc season could be longer for you or their
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  birthday. Their their birthdays could be
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  around the same time period as well.
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  So narc season can actually last longer for some people than it
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  does for others. But I would say this Sal narc
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  season, right, October to February, typically, it's just
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  so much stuff back-to-back to back-to-back.
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  It's so much emotional energy. It's so much like giving and
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  receiving. It's so much stuff going on.
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  It's just overwhelming to a lot of narcissists, right?
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  I'm one of them. I'm speaking for myself in this
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  video as well. I'm one of them.
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  Like I cannot stand I still to this day right now, really don't
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  like the holiday season. Yeah, I can already feel.
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  It's kind of like I can already feel my body changing, right?
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  I can already feel not my body. I can already feel my mind
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  changing right now, right? I can feel it because Halloween
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  is coming up, Thanksgiving, Christmas, New Year's, New
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  Year's Day, New Year's Eve, Valentine's Day, birthdays, my,
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  my son's birthdays. You passed.
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  My daughter's birthday is in February.
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  So, you know, it's just so much. It's back-to-back to
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  back-to-back. Like a lot of narcissistic
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  people hate this time of the year because it makes them
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  uncomfortable. And I can imagine you as the
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  person that is dealing with a narcissist, you probably hate
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  this time of the year as well. You like damn, Lee, I hate this
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  damn this time of the year too, because my partner loses their
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  damn everlasting mind. You know what I mean?
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  They lose their mind around this time of the year and I can't,
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  damn, I can't even breathe like, and it sucks.
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  It sucks to have to deal with this personality type.
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  It sucks to have to deal with this type of mindset.
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  It sucks, doesn't it? So like I tell so many people,
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  this situation, in these situations right here, they're
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  like narcissistic people are going to keep doing this type of
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  stuff over and over and over again.
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  Y'all, this is how we, this is how we live.
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  This is how we live. And it doesn't.
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  Could it get better over time? I'm going to say marginally, but
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  most times it's going to get worse because the holiday season
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  comes around every single year and every single year the
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  narcissist is going to get older.
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  Narcissists don't like getting old, y'all?
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  They don't like getting older because the older I get, it
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  means I'm going to lose. I'm going to lose my looks.
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  I'm going to lose a lot of stuff that I feel like I had going for
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  me. It's going to be gone.
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  Your hair might fall out, your teeth might fall out.
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  You going to be like, you feel like people going to take
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  advantage of you. It's so much going on around
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  this time of the year that you're going to be you're going
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  to be in for it. And it's the more uncomfortable
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  a narcissist feels during this time of the year, the more
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  uncomfortable the people around them are going to feel.
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  The more uncomfortable you're going to feel, the more
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  uncomfortable your parents are going to feel.
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  Your kids are going to feel. My, my Mama.
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  I don't, I hate, I hate Halloween and Christmas.
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  Daddy just be ruining them. Daddy.
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  I hate when Mama come over here doing Halloweens and Christmases
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  and New year. She should be losing her damn
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  mind. Like this time of the year is
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  just tough for a lot of narcissistic people.
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  And no, no, I'm not trying to do this video to make you feel bad
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  for your partner or your parent or your parent or whoever it is
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  because like, not everybody has a narcissistic partner.
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  Some of us, some of you, some of y'all might have narcissistic
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  family members. You might have a narcissistic
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  parent. You had a narcissistic parent.
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  That means this time of the year growing up was rough for you.
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  You know, this time of the year growing up was rough as hell for
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  you. Like Lee, I was when I was
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  growing up, back in my day, when I was growing up, I had my my
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  narcissistic Mama used to ruin the hell out of the holidays.
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  She could not stand Christmas. Like she would intentionally
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  give us. She would intentionally give us
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  lumps of cold during Christmas. She would intentionally do a lot
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  of stuff to antagonize us, to make us feel a certain type of
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  way. She would intentionally do so
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  much to make us sad. It's crazy.
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  Yeah. It's crazy how it works out in a
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  lot of these situations when you're dealing with a toxic
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  narcissistic person. I say that to so many people,
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  like, hey, look, as you're going through this, as you're trying
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  to heal, as you're trying to grow, understand that toxic
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  abusive people are going to be toxic abusive more around this
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  time of the year. Could they skip a holiday?
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  Could they skip Thanksgiving? Could they be nice around
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  Thanksgiving and be horrible around Christmas, New Year's,
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  Valentine's Day? Yes, they could pick and choose
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  which holidays they feel better around.
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  Yeah, that's a possibility. You know, every single holiday
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  might not be as bad as the previous holiday.
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  But, Leah, OK, We know you told us that they act the monkey
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  around the holidays. Narc season, right?
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  Narc season. So what are we supposed to do?
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  You're supposed. Am I telling you to leave your
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  relationship? Leave.
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  We can't. What if we can't leave?
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  I'm not telling you to leave. I'm telling you because you
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  understand what's going on. Like if traveling with your
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  narcissistic partner is a, is a is hell every single year, you
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  might want to try to leave their asses behind.
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  But leave. I leave them behind.
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  They'll be home angry as hell at me.
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  Yeah, you can be on the road angry or home angry.
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  It's kind of like you're damned if you do and you're damned if
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  you don't. So I tell people, of course you
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  use discretion. I tell people, choose the damned
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  that benefits you the most. Choose the damned that makes you
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  feel the best about yourself. Choose the damned that you feel
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  like you can live with. You know what I'm saying?
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  If you're going to have a horrible Christmas because you
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  got a three hour road trip to go to go to your parents house and
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  a narcissist, Your narcissistic partner is silent, tripping the
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  whole time, causing an argument, screaming and yelling in front
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  of the kids the whole time. And then as soon as they get
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  there they smile into your parents faces or in front of
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  their parents faces. They act and they act like
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  nothing happened. As soon as you leave, the
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  monster rides home. The monster's on the plane seat.
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  What do you mean you have to choose?
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  You have to choose. You have to decide.
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  You have to make a decision. You can yo, you can ask them.
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  Do they want to go? Give them if you want to.
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  You can give them options. You of course, you don't have to
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  hit my advice, but you can give them options, you know, do you
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  want to go? Hey, just go.
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  So, you know, just hey, look, we're going to, my parents plan
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  on going to my parents house for Christmas, Christmas Eve for a
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  couple hours. You don't have to go if you
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  don't want to. We're not going to hold it
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  against you. Give them an option to not go.
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  Of course. Could they get mad at that?
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  Yeah, they can get mad at that. Give them an option to go.
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  They can get mad at that. Y'all, you some of y'all are
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  just dealing with angry narcissistic bastard that you
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  cannot make happy. No matter what you do, no matter
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  what you sacrifice, no matter what you willing to give up, you
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  can't make them happy. And they're they themselves are
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  OK with that. They're OK with being unhappy.
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  They're OK with this type of mindset.
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  They're OK with this type of behavior.
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  They are OK. They are.
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  You know what I'm saying? They are OK.
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  Like, even though, well, Lee, I just felt so bad for them
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  because they have to live like this.
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  What about you? What about you?
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  Who feels bad for you? There's a good question, I
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  think. Who feels bad for you?
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  You're feeling bad for everybody else.
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  But who feels bad for you? Because as much as that
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  narcissist starts to act up during his holiday, during his
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  holiday season, you, because you've had experience with this
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  person. This isn't your first rodeo.
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  Unless it is. But you know what they're going
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  to do, right? You know how they're going to
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  behave. You know how they're going to
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  act. You know, you understand.
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  You are you already know what it is, right?
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  You already understand what it is.
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  You already get it. You already got it right.
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  This is the mindset. This is the mentality that you
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  will have to face when you're dealing with narcissistic people
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  that it's OK to choose you around this holiday season.
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  It's OK to choose you for Thanksgiving.
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  It's OK to choose you and the kids or your family members for
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  Christmas. It's OK to choose you for choose
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  you for New Year's. Kiss yourself.
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  Go go look. You have a New Year's kiss to
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  have a good, good new Year. Go to mirror, find a mirror.
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  Kiss yourself like You Beautiful.
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  Go look in the mirror just like beautiful bastard you happy new
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  year kiss yourself. That does not make you a
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  narcissist. I don't be like well, we're not
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  a narcissist. We're going to kiss ourselves.
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  You don't have to kiss yourself. I'm just saying I'm just trying
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  to make y'all trying to break up bring some levity to it.
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  That's why y'all watch this channel.
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  Nobody brings you levity like I do bring you like I bring levity
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  by talking about narcissistic toxic ass relationships.
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  But you have to, in order to win, you have to, you have to
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  determine what does a win look like to you in this situation
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  you're in? What does victory look like or
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  feel like to you in these situations right here?
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  What does it look like? What does it feel like?
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  It's just something you have to ask yourself in this situation
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  right here. It's something you have to
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  consider for yourself. It's something that you have to
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  think about for yourself, right? This is the mindset, this is the
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  mentality that so many people face.
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  Like you can win, y'all. You can absolutely win.
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  Victory is yours, victory can be yours, but you have to determine
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  what winning looks like to you. Winning could be leaving a ass
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  at home. Winning could be not ex like
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  they if they haven't got you a good gift in 10 Christmases.
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  Stop expecting a gift. Go get yourself something nice.
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  Stop expecting them to give you a damn gift 10 years later.
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  This you going to drive yourself crazy.
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  You're worth more than that. It's not because you're worth
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  less that they don't give you a gift because they they don't
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  think they themselves are worth anything.
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  So they try to drag you down to their level.
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  Pick yourself up go buy you some nice shit and tell to hell with
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  them. And I tell you to leave the
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  understand you can say to hell with them go get yourself
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  something nice. Believe I buy myself something
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  nice. They argue hide it.
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  Y'all listen how you had to live if you go buy yourself something
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  nice you got to argue with your partner.
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  They get mad at you for buying yourself something.
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  You know what I'm saying? Look at this kind of life that
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  you have to live walking on egg shells, buying, purchasing on
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  egg shells, living on egg shells, sleeping on egg shells.
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  You don't just walk on egg shells.
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  You they the egg shells are with you all day.
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  They're going especially especially be with you during
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  this this period of time right here, y'all.
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  So take some time for yourself, give something to yourself.
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  You know what I mean? Give yourself the gift to
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  joining my support group, you know, and the mental healers.
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  We like we going to do. We probably do Christmas live.
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  I'm planning to do a holiday live every, every, you know
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  holiday or whatever for this type of stuff.
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  Big wish y'all. I appreciate the hell out of
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  every single one of y'all. I'm extremely grateful,
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  extremely thankful for y'all. Like I said, Houston TX, Dallas,
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  TX, Dallas November the 2nd, Houston November the 3rd.
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  You can find all the information at mentalillness.net/events and
• 12:19
  I will see you like minute to end of the video Intercode
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  mental MENTAL mental 10 for 10% off.
• 12:26
  It's already not super expensive anyway y'all.
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  Anyways, check out I'll see y'all in Houston in Dallas until
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  this is out. Thank you so much for making it
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  to the end of my video. I am extremely grateful for you
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  Have no idea. If you haven't already, make
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  sure you go ahead and subscribe to the channel.
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  Helps reach more people and click on the screen to watch
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  another video or to browse to another playlist.
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  There's also a link on the screen to check out my courses
• 12:46
  and my support groups to help you heal and understand what
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  you've been through. Thank you so much again.
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  I will see you in the next video.
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  Peace.