Latest / The Arise with Anita Podcast / Monetizing Your Moment of Impact: How Julie DeLucca-Collins Turned a Layoff Into Purpose, Power & Profit

Transcript

Monetizing Your Moment of Impact: How Julie DeLucca-Collins Turned a Layoff Into Purpose, Power & Profit · The Arise with Anita Podcast

• 0:24
  SPEAKER_00: We embody it.
• 0:25
  SPEAKER_00: We have to make full and find means to claim the next level.
• 0:30
  SPEAKER_00: You'll hear a list of school episodes for me and interviews with school-driven leaders, the best in your field, who live what they teach, and rise by example.
• 0:39
  SPEAKER_00: Each conversation is a talent for your next breakthrough.
• 0:42
  SPEAKER_00: You're not broken, you're breaking through.
• 0:44
  SPEAKER_00: Let's go ahead and rise together.
• 0:51
  SPEAKER_03: Welcome back to the Rise with Anita Podcast.
• 0:54
  SPEAKER_01: I am so, so excited for this guest today because every once in a while you meet someone whose presence feels like a spark, someone who can look at you in the eye and help you remember exactly who you are and what you are capable of.
• 1:09
  SPEAKER_01: Julie DeLuga Collins is one of those rare souls.
• 1:12
  SPEAKER_01: Her journey hasn't been a straight line.
• 1:14
  SPEAKER_01: In fact, when life handed her an unexpected layoff, she was given a microphone and a simple invitation from her husband.
• 1:22
  SPEAKER_01: All you have to do is talk.
• 1:24
  SPEAKER_01: I'll handle the rest.
• 1:26
  SPEAKER_01: And from that moment, her voice found wings, she launched a podcast that's still into the top 2% worldwide, not because she had all the answers, but because she spoke with heart, honesty, and deep belief in what's possible.
• 1:40
  SPEAKER_01: Since then, Julie has graced the 10x pages, been featured on national networks, and built a thriving business helping women turn their ideas into movement.
• 1:53
  SPEAKER_01: But her core, she is what we would call a confidence magician, someone who can take your self-doubt and alchemize it into courage, clarity, and momentum.
• 2:04
  SPEAKER_01: Today she's here to share her story, her wisdom, and maybe a sprinkle a little bit of magic on you.
• 2:10
  SPEAKER_01: Julie, welcome to the show.
• 2:12
  SPEAKER_02: I am so honored to be here.
• 2:15
  SPEAKER_02: Thank you for having me.
• 2:16
  SPEAKER_02: And oh, I love that you want me to sprinkle some magic.
• 2:19
  SPEAKER_02: Hold on.
• 2:19
  SPEAKER_02: I think I have a magic wand.
• 2:21
  SPEAKER_02: Ready?
• 2:22
  SPEAKER_02: Ooh.
• 2:24
  SPEAKER_02: It's actually my my name, my envelope opener, but you know, it could be a magic wand, right?
• 2:29
  SPEAKER_02: Find the magic anywhere you go.
• 2:31
  SPEAKER_01: Absolutely.
• 2:32
  SPEAKER_01: So I just want us to go ahead and dive way back deep.
• 2:37
  SPEAKER_02: Okay.
• 2:38
  SPEAKER_01: For the listeners who don't know, you're El Salvadorian.
• 2:43
  SPEAKER_01: So you grew up, you were sitting as a little girl.
• 2:48
  SPEAKER_01: What was she dreaming about back then?
• 2:50
  SPEAKER_01: What was she feeling her world was like?
• 2:52
  SPEAKER_02: I, you know, I dreamt of a lot of different things.
• 2:55
  SPEAKER_02: I wanted to be a dancer, I wanted to act, I wanted to rule the world, but I knew that I also wanted to help people.
• 3:04
  SPEAKER_02: And I came from a family of educators, and that's why it was so easy to transition into teaching, because that was the way that I know I could help people as well.
• 3:14
  SPEAKER_02: And it doesn't hurt that I'm extrovert, right?
• 3:17
  SPEAKER_02: And when I was in in my early 20s, I used to teach dance and I still still did some dancing.
• 3:25
  SPEAKER_02: And every once in a while I I see how things kind of uh still are this little sprinkles of everything that I wanted to be doing.
• 3:36
  SPEAKER_01: That's beautiful.
• 3:37
  SPEAKER_01: I think that my main thing that I've come to realize about season of my life is we always know at our core what it is that we're meant to be doing.
• 3:47
  SPEAKER_01: It sometimes may not be the format we think it's gonna be coming into and out.
• 3:52
  SPEAKER_01: But I there's these little sprinkles of like, this is what lights me up.
• 3:58
  SPEAKER_01: And if we just follow that, that's where the magic happens.
• 4:01
  SPEAKER_01: Yeah, that is the magic.
• 4:03
  SPEAKER_01: And sometimes you also didn't feel like you belonged while you're in El Salvador.
• 4:09
  SPEAKER_01: What did not belonging look like or feel like for you?
• 4:12
  SPEAKER_02: Well, mainly, you know, my I I am not full El Salvadorian.
• 4:15
  SPEAKER_02: My dad is from the States.
• 4:17
  SPEAKER_03: Can you hear me?
• 4:20
  SPEAKER_03: Anita?
• 4:21
  SPEAKER_03: Can you hear me?
• 4:24
  SPEAKER_03: Hello.
• 4:27
  SPEAKER_01: Okay, so you sure you didn't feel like you belonged in El Salvador?
• 4:32
  SPEAKER_01: What did not belonging look like or feel like for you?
• 4:36
  SPEAKER_01: Well, here's the thing, right?
• 4:38
  SPEAKER_02: For people who don't know a lot about me, I'm not only El Salvadorian.
• 4:43
  SPEAKER_02: My mom is from El Salvador, my dad is from the States, and I was always told I was not Salvadorian because my dad was an American, right?
• 4:54
  SPEAKER_02: And a gringo, they would actually say.
• 4:56
  SPEAKER_02: And of course, I wanted to not necessarily be Salvadorian, but I wanted to be me.
• 5:04
  SPEAKER_02: But I I never felt like I really fully, right, could immerse myself.
• 5:11
  SPEAKER_02: Like I I loved growing up with my grandparents.
• 5:14
  SPEAKER_02: I loved the family and the culture, but I also knew that there was another family, there was another culture where I really belonged as well.
• 5:21
  SPEAKER_02: And when I came to Miami to go to school, I also felt that I didn't belong because I didn't quite fit in, right?
• 5:32
  SPEAKER_02: And I thought I would.
• 5:33
  SPEAKER_02: I thought, okay, well, that I'm supposed to be a US person.
• 5:37
  SPEAKER_02: I'm supposed to be an American.
• 5:39
  SPEAKER_02: And when I got there, what people saw was not me, but they saw the darker girl, the one who also spoke Spanish.
• 5:47
  SPEAKER_02: And for that, it spoke very different Spanish from what the other Spanish-speaking kids did in Miami because most of them were Cuban and I was not.
• 5:57
  SPEAKER_02: So there's a distinct accent as well when it comes to speaking Spanish.
• 6:01
  SPEAKER_02: So I felt confident in who I was, but I also knew that maybe who I was was not enough to be a part of either El Salvador or the States.
• 6:16
  SPEAKER_01: Wow.
• 6:17
  SPEAKER_01: So you actually went right through my next question, which was how did the dream of coming to Miami happen?
• 6:25
  SPEAKER_01: So you touched on it.
• 6:26
  SPEAKER_01: Once you landed in Miami, there was that disconnect.
• 6:30
  SPEAKER_01: At what point did you start to feel like, okay, I'm finding my footing?
• 6:35
  SPEAKER_01: I'm starting to evidence.
• 6:37
  SPEAKER_02: That's a great question.
• 6:38
  SPEAKER_02: So, so when I got to Miami, and the reason we went to Miami is again, my mom had married an American citizen.
• 6:45
  SPEAKER_02: She used to work for the American embassy.
• 6:47
  SPEAKER_02: She left El Salvador when she was very young to go to college at Georgetown.
• 6:51
  SPEAKER_02: So again, also she had her foot in both countries, right?
• 6:57
  SPEAKER_02: But when the war broke out, the civil war broke out in El Salvador, it became quite dangerous for us to stay.
• 7:03
  SPEAKER_02: So that was part of the reason of why we left.
• 7:06
  SPEAKER_02: And when I got to Miami, the the thing was that again, like I mentioned, I didn't quite, I was sort of this round puzzle piece and uh in a square pegs and a bunch of square pegs.
• 7:21
  SPEAKER_02: When I felt I finally belonged, is the summer of my eighth grade year.
• 7:28
  SPEAKER_02: I actually went and I I went to see my dad over the course of the summer.
• 7:35
  SPEAKER_02: And we stayed in DC with him and I learned to swim and so many different things that helped me kind of come into my own in some ways.
• 7:48
  SPEAKER_02: When we moved back to when we went back to Miami for school, my mom had also moved.
• 7:55
  SPEAKER_02: We had moved from the neighborhood where we currently had been, where there was a large Cuban population.
• 8:01
  SPEAKER_02: And it you were either Cuban or not, right?
• 8:04
  SPEAKER_02: It wasn't necessarily the Anglo kids or the African American kids.
• 8:10
  SPEAKER_02: When we moved, I went to a new school, and I was reminded, I love to dance.
• 8:16
  SPEAKER_02: I'm gonna try out for cheerleading.
• 8:18
  SPEAKER_02: And I also was in a school where there was more diversity, people from all over the place, and people didn't necessarily judge you for being different.
• 8:29
  SPEAKER_02: You were just part of this melting pot.
• 8:32
  SPEAKER_02: And as I started to get more involved in school, as I started to remind myself, you know what?
• 8:37
  SPEAKER_02: Everybody feels uncertain.
• 8:39
  SPEAKER_02: And I I and I am, you know, great at this, or I'm practicing that.
• 8:45
  SPEAKER_02: I joined drama, and all of these things reminded me that these are the things that I love to do, and that I was being myself, and it was okay to be myself, and that's how I started to really feel like I could belong more so than before.
• 9:00
  SPEAKER_01: Beautiful.
• 9:01
  SPEAKER_01: So, how did being seen and celebrated in this new space start to shape your self-image, your sense of possibility, what you considered was kind of how you felt at home almost.
• 9:21
  SPEAKER_02: You know, possibility is it's an interesting word because I think that when you're living in the moment as a teen, there it's hard to think of the big picture future, but at the same time, you're so desperate to grow up, to get there.
• 9:44
  SPEAKER_02: And you you don't realize, right, that that future self, as we know it now, right as an adult, is really the person that can advise you.
• 9:54
  SPEAKER_02: And I I had a lot of mistakes in in those early years, because even though I was coming into my own, I didn't realize that there were possibilities for me to go after.
• 10:08
  SPEAKER_02: I I felt, okay, well, this is just what I'm supposed to be doing.
• 10:11
  SPEAKER_02: And I was living in the moment.
• 10:12
  SPEAKER_02: I was trying to really pay attention to enjoying every moment that I had because now I had a great community.
• 10:20
  SPEAKER_02: Now I also had a great group of friends.
• 10:23
  SPEAKER_02: Now I felt like I was not alone.
• 10:26
  SPEAKER_02: And the possibility of what could be was something that I think is is difficult to conceptualize, right?
• 10:34
  SPEAKER_02: For instance, as adults, we tend to say, okay, well, if I start saving now, I could buy a house, or if I take this class and then go through a certification, I could maybe get a bump in my pay.
• 10:48
  SPEAKER_02: So the possibilities for me were very different at that time at least.
• 11:45
  SPEAKER_01: I think what you're really touching on is it started to expand your worldview.
• 11:50
  SPEAKER_02: Yeah.
• 11:51
  SPEAKER_02: Oh, a hundred percent.
• 11:52
  SPEAKER_02: And, you know, not to mention that as I grew and I continue to expand my community, which is another reason why community is incredibly important to me, because when we expand our communities, we are able to then know that, hey, I thought that was all there is, but there's actually more.
• 12:14
  SPEAKER_01: Beautiful.
• 12:15
  SPEAKER_01: Yes.
• 12:16
  SPEAKER_01: I think for those of you who are listening, I've been cultivating what I call a conscious community.
• 12:25
  SPEAKER_01: And it's people I've met along the journey at different points that I can lean on who can partially see the actual authentic me, but also they're kind of like an advisory board, is the way I see it now.
• 12:41
  SPEAKER_01: Yeah.
• 12:43
  SPEAKER_01: People can look at your blind spots, they can look at what you're not seeing.
• 12:48
  SPEAKER_01: That's also good about you.
• 12:51
  SPEAKER_01: Because I was just having this discussion in another podcast episode today.
• 12:55
  SPEAKER_01: And it was when we are so unaware of what our strengths are, sometimes we need that mirror from the external to remind us we are.
• 13:05
  SPEAKER_02: So beautifully said, beautifully said.
• 13:08
  SPEAKER_02: And I love that you're creating a conscious community.
• 13:11
  SPEAKER_02: And for me, consciousness is really the beginning of where we can begin to practice, because we're not going to gain it all in one shot, but where we can begin to practice more of our confidence, right?
• 13:24
  SPEAKER_02: If if we say, oh, you know what?
• 13:27
  SPEAKER_02: I would like to be better at my relationship, then the consciousness of, you know what, maybe I'm not showing up in the way that I should, or I'm I'm not that good listener, or there are steps that I'm not taking to do the thing, right?
• 13:42
  SPEAKER_02: And then we begin that journey.
• 13:45
  SPEAKER_02: That's the first step.
• 13:46
  SPEAKER_02: And consciousness is so important in this world because we the world trains us to walk with blinders and just kind of oblivious and really just sort of float from thing to thing as opposed to being present, conscious in the moment, intentional.
• 14:02
  SPEAKER_01: Beautiful.
• 14:03
  SPEAKER_01: So, based off of that question, answer, excuse me, that changes my question a little bit.
• 14:08
  SPEAKER_01: And what I mean through is what does being present in the moment look like for you right now?
• 14:16
  SPEAKER_02: As I grew older, and and I guess I'm taking you through the story of my life, and thank you for making me think of this.
• 14:23
  SPEAKER_02: As I grew older, again, the possibility of the future and what was coming and that, I spent a lot of time in my 20s and in my 30s thinking of the destinations that I was heading towards, right?
• 14:40
  SPEAKER_02: When I get that promotion, when I travel, when I whatever, right, fill in the blank.
• 14:46
  SPEAKER_02: It caused me a lot of angst because, in some ways, I was waiting for the promotion to have a better life.
• 14:56
  SPEAKER_02: I was waiting for the thing to come about so that I could feel happy, not understanding that the right here, right now, I had the power to be happy.
• 15:06
  SPEAKER_02: Kind of like Dorothy, right?
• 15:08
  SPEAKER_02: She always could go home.
• 15:10
  SPEAKER_02: But she was thinking, when I get to the wizard, when I get on that road, when I get the magic, whatever.
• 15:17
  SPEAKER_02: And many of us really don't realize that we can make the choice today to get up in the morning and say, it's gonna be a great day, despite the fact that maybe it's so hot outside, and maybe you have lots of minutiae in life that is going on and life is lifing.
• 15:35
  SPEAKER_02: But the consciousness really is something that we can choose.
• 15:38
  SPEAKER_02: But it took me a long time to figure out that that is something that I had the power to do.
• 15:44
  SPEAKER_01: That's such a beautiful answer.
• 15:47
  SPEAKER_01: So you talk a lot about confidence almost being like a muscle, something we build, not just something we're born with.
• 15:57
  SPEAKER_01: So what was your first steps of confidence reps that you remember taking?
• 16:05
  SPEAKER_02: In any area of life or in a particular time of my life?
• 16:10
  SPEAKER_02: Either which one, whatever.
• 16:13
  SPEAKER_02: Well, I'll I'll tell you, in my corporate career, for instance, even though I was always looking for the next thing, right?
• 16:20
  SPEAKER_02: I didn't always show up as the perfect executive.
• 16:25
  SPEAKER_02: I wanted to become that perfect executive and to be seen, to be it, it meant I needed to raise my hands.
• 16:34
  SPEAKER_02: It meant I needed to apply for the promotion.
• 16:36
  SPEAKER_02: It meant I needed to do the work.
• 16:39
  SPEAKER_02: And sometimes it's so easy in the moment that you are going to take the leap.
• 16:46
  SPEAKER_02: It's so easy to hear your voice, that little nasty, little, you know, mean girl say, Who the hell are you to do that?
• 16:53
  SPEAKER_02: Oh, can I say that?
• 16:57
  SPEAKER_02: Who are you?
• 16:57
  SPEAKER_02: Who the heck are you to do that?
• 16:59
  SPEAKER_02: Who do you think you are?
• 17:01
  SPEAKER_02: Why, who is gonna hire you for that promotion?
• 17:04
  SPEAKER_02: You don't measure up.
• 17:06
  SPEAKER_02: So it happens so quickly that our internal voices and and critics are gonna jump in and tell us all the bad stuff.
• 17:16
  SPEAKER_02: We have to, number one, acknowledge and noticing, notice that okay, I'm telling myself a story.
• 17:22
  SPEAKER_02: Number two, it's normal to feel like you don't have it together, right?
• 17:27
  SPEAKER_02: Notice, normalize, neutralize.
• 17:31
  SPEAKER_02: I'm telling myself the story, and you know what?
• 17:34
  SPEAKER_02: It's okay.
• 17:35
  SPEAKER_02: I'm a beginner, right?
• 17:36
  SPEAKER_02: Neutralize the story and then take the first next best step.
• 17:42
  SPEAKER_02: And that's how we begin to create that confidence and we create that muscle.
• 17:47
  SPEAKER_02: And it's not gonna happen just, oh, you know what?
• 17:49
  SPEAKER_02: I'm gonna do a sit-up today and I'm gonna have a six-pack.
• 17:53
  SPEAKER_02: No, it means that it's gonna be hard and you're gonna have all the things tell you you can't.
• 18:01
  SPEAKER_02: And then you have to remind yourself, I'm working, I'm a work in progress, I'm working at, and and it's not so much about reaching the thing, but it's about the learning process of who you become because you're working toward the thing, right?
• 18:19
  SPEAKER_02: The same thing with our business.
• 18:21
  SPEAKER_02: We don't become a successful business owner overnight, but we become the successful business owner because we work every day at our business and we do the things that are required and they make us better.
• 18:33
  SPEAKER_02: We practice the thing.
• 18:35
  SPEAKER_01: That's such a beautiful answer.
• 18:37
  SPEAKER_01: And what really came through for me is just acknowledging that you have that reminder system in place of, hey, I might not be there yet, but who am I becoming?
• 18:51
  SPEAKER_02: Yeah, absolutely.
• 18:53
  SPEAKER_02: And and I think, you know, we have the power, right, to rewrite the story.
• 19:00
  SPEAKER_02: Because the story I may be telling myself, who would ever want to make give me a promotion, right?
• 19:06
  SPEAKER_02: That may be the story, but I can decide, hey, I'm the person that nobody, nobody else in this company knows more about this than I.
• 19:16
  SPEAKER_02: So I deserve that promotion.
• 19:18
  SPEAKER_02: Or nobody else is willing to go the extra mile like I am.
• 19:23
  SPEAKER_02: So therefore, I need and and and I will get to that next goal.
• 19:28
  SPEAKER_02: So rewrite your story with everything that you can on a daily basis and remind yourself that it's not about, you know, an overnight and stop looking at the very far future because when we look at we have 10 more miles to go, we get discouraged.
• 19:46
  SPEAKER_02: What we really need to look at, oh, I already walked 10 miles and I have 10 more to go.
• 19:51
  SPEAKER_02: Well, you know what?
• 19:52
  SPEAKER_02: I'm not gonna worry about the 10 miles.
• 19:53
  SPEAKER_02: I'm just gonna go that extra couple steps.
• 19:57
  SPEAKER_02: And that keeps you really present in the moment, intentional, but it also allows you to build the momentum to keep going and to you and reach your dreams.
• 20:08
  SPEAKER_01: I love that you touched on a very powerful word, which was intentional.
• 20:13
  SPEAKER_01: Intention is something that I've started to really hone in on in this phase of my life of okay, if I take a step back, what is this all for?
• 20:26
  SPEAKER_01: It's not just the end goal or financials or the byproducts of what it is that you're setting out to do, but it's what is the intention for?
• 20:37
  SPEAKER_01: What's the greater purpose of it?
• 20:39
  SPEAKER_01: And I think one thing that really came to mind as you were just uh speaking was how do you buy eat an elephant one bite at a time, right?
• 20:49
  SPEAKER_02: Absolutely.
• 20:50
  SPEAKER_02: My husband loves that phrase.
• 20:53
  SPEAKER_01: And something about just being constantly as a reminder, like right, and it's that constant reminder that we have these increment one step out of time moments.
• 21:05
  SPEAKER_01: If we choose to see too far out, we might overwhelm ourselves.
• 21:09
  SPEAKER_01: But if we allow ourselves the grace of just looking at the next two steps, kind of my favorite analogy for it is when you're on the highway late at night, you can only see 200 feet up in front of you.
• 21:22
  SPEAKER_02: Yeah, absolutely.
• 21:24
  SPEAKER_02: That's really how it is.
• 21:25
  SPEAKER_02: And I think that sometimes we allow the uncertainty of not seeing more than the 200 yards in front of us get to us.
• 21:36
  SPEAKER_02: And and we can just say, hey, I have enough time to stop, I have enough time to turn.
• 21:41
  SPEAKER_02: All I need to see is that little piece.
• 21:44
  SPEAKER_01: And it's hard, it's not easy.
• 21:47
  SPEAKER_01: Definitely.
• 21:49
  SPEAKER_01: So you touched on this, but I really want to get your opinion.
• 21:53
  SPEAKER_01: When in your life did you first realize I have a voice and it matters, and it matters that I use it?
• 21:59
  SPEAKER_02: I would say from a very early age, I was very opinionated.
• 22:04
  SPEAKER_02: I guess nothing has changed, but I I was, although I lacked confidence in some ways when I moved to Miami, the girl that before that was the person that could feel confident enough to jump in a conversation with older people or to speak up her mind and and ask the questions.
• 22:27
  SPEAKER_02: And I really think that I I I lived in a place where I was allowed to explore ideas.
• 22:37
  SPEAKER_02: To yes, I was a child and encouraged to play and be a child, but I was also encouraged to learn more, to ask, to be curious.
• 22:46
  SPEAKER_02: And that allowed me to then speak up and and be bold.
• 22:52
  SPEAKER_02: And that also comes from, I think, being a firstborn.
• 22:56
  SPEAKER_02: Being and a lot of times, you know, I have two sisters and we're very different.
• 23:03
  SPEAKER_02: And certainly my sisters have gifts that I don't, but I'm gonna be the first one to share an opinion.
• 23:12
  SPEAKER_01: You touched on being bold.
• 23:14
  SPEAKER_01: What does that look like for you?
• 23:17
  SPEAKER_02: Now, as a business owner, as uh in in what context?
• 23:21
  SPEAKER_01: Being bold, bold in life, bold as a business owner, bold as a woman.
• 23:28
  SPEAKER_02: So I I think that the first sign of boldness for me is something very simple.
• 23:33
  SPEAKER_02: And I think that people will kind of roll their eyes, but it's true.
• 23:37
  SPEAKER_02: I think that for me, the most bold action that I can take on a daily basis, I'll it's a visual thing, right?
• 23:44
  SPEAKER_02: But it's to put on my red lipstick.
• 23:47
  SPEAKER_02: It's bold, right?
• 23:48
  SPEAKER_02: You cannot say red lipstick is not bold, but that's a small, and why do I say that?
• 23:54
  SPEAKER_02: Because it reminds me, hey, I I love the red lipstick.
• 23:59
  SPEAKER_02: I love to stand out.
• 24:01
  SPEAKER_02: I am the person who puts myself out there.
• 24:04
  SPEAKER_02: And to me, being bold means choosing the place where you're gonna start to show up, understanding what that's gonna look like as well.
• 24:14
  SPEAKER_02: Boldness for me as well as a woman means that I'm gonna see things that I don't agree with.
• 24:22
  SPEAKER_02: I'm gonna see things that I feel are injustices.
• 24:25
  SPEAKER_02: Being bold means taking a stand, not being afraid to say, I don't like that.
• 24:31
  SPEAKER_02: And this is why.
• 24:33
  SPEAKER_02: And for many of us who and by the way, I know that I am not a full people pleaser, but there's tendencies there that at times I do want to people please because it's just easier.
• 24:48
  SPEAKER_02: But for the person that it's always saying yes, I want to encourage you to think when you're saying yes to that next person, ask yourself, how am I going to feel when I go to the thing or if I'm volunteering to bake cookies, right?
• 25:02
  SPEAKER_02: Be bold and say, no, you know what?
• 25:04
  SPEAKER_02: I don't have time to bake cookies.
• 25:05
  SPEAKER_02: I'll buy them if you want, but I don't have time to bake them, right?
• 25:09
  SPEAKER_02: Or even buying them.
• 25:10
  SPEAKER_02: Sometimes it requires like you adding that to your schedule and your to-do.
• 25:16
  SPEAKER_02: It's okay to say no.
• 25:18
  SPEAKER_02: It's okay to step back and it's okay to speak up for yourself.
• 25:22
  SPEAKER_02: Because when we don't, then we we then end up being angry at the person that asked us to do the thing and also beating ourselves up because we didn't stand up and and speak up for ourselves.
• 25:36
  SPEAKER_02: So as a bold woman, I'm gonna be the person who's not gonna compromise her thoughts.
• 25:40
  SPEAKER_02: It's not gonna compromise what they believe.
• 25:43
  SPEAKER_02: And even in the small moments when I don't feel like I have it together, when I don't feel like I'm gonna be accepted, I'm gonna do the one thing that is gonna remind me that I all I need is a simple, small step.
• 25:56
  SPEAKER_02: And for me, that's wearing my red lipstick.
• 25:58
  SPEAKER_01: I love that.
• 25:59
  SPEAKER_01: So your red lips are your inch.
• 26:02
  SPEAKER_01: They sure are.
• 26:04
  SPEAKER_01: And they're on brand.
• 26:05
  SPEAKER_01: They're on brand.
• 26:07
  SPEAKER_01: That's right.
• 26:09
  SPEAKER_01: So were there moments you had to borrow your confidence before you could fully feel in a hundred percent.
• 26:16
  SPEAKER_02: You know, one of the things that we often forget is that when we're in community or when we are in a relationship, there are gonna be people who see the best in us.
• 26:29
  SPEAKER_02: And by the way, accept the worst.
• 26:31
  SPEAKER_02: But and and love is despite the worst, right?
• 26:35
  SPEAKER_02: And when we don't feel like I can love myself enough, be bold enough, and step out enough in confidence, then we can remind ourselves of the people that see the gifts, or we can remind ourselves, you know what, that person believes in me.
• 26:50
  SPEAKER_02: If they think I can do it, I think I can do it, right?
• 26:54
  SPEAKER_02: Because they see something that perhaps you're not giving yourself enough credit for.
• 27:30
  SPEAKER_02: You used to run, you know, a company, you used to, you know, run a school, you used to, you are the mom of 10 kids, whatever the situation is, right?
• 27:41
  SPEAKER_02: From the outside, people will see things that you forget or you haven't seen.
• 27:46
  SPEAKER_02: And this is why it's important to have those believing mirrors, like I like to call them, the people that are coming to you.
• 27:52
  SPEAKER_02: And when you don't feel like you could do it, when you don't feel that you have what it takes, when you don't know what the next step is, are gonna be the people that borrow, allow you to see that reflection of yourself, the best in you.
• 28:06
  SPEAKER_01: I love as an exercise, I want to give for our listeners that I actually had to do myself was I texted, I think it was five or six close friends of mine.
• 28:17
  SPEAKER_01: And these are people that I've let see the mess, not those that just see the outside what you've accomplished.
• 28:26
  SPEAKER_01: Because from the outside, if we're looking at it from that perspective, it's very easy to tie your worth into things, metrics.
• 28:36
  SPEAKER_01: But I've let them see me truly grow as an evolved human.
• 28:40
  SPEAKER_01: And what I did is I reached out to them and I shot off a text that essentially said, Hey, this is not for validation because I don't need to scratch an ego.
• 28:51
  SPEAKER_01: But I'm finding that there's times where I don't personally see some of my traits.
• 28:56
  unknown: Yeah.
• 28:56
  SPEAKER_01: What do you see in me?
• 28:58
  SPEAKER_01: What do you think?
• 29:02
  SPEAKER_01: And it was, please tell me both the good and the bad.
• 29:05
  SPEAKER_01: I ironically, I've texted six different people and I got similar answers from all of it.
• 29:11
  SPEAKER_01: And I was just like, I must be doing right in order for them to all have that same common thread, because that means how I'm showing up with you via the podcast, for example, my personality is what transfers to how I am interacting in my day-to-day life.
• 29:29
  SPEAKER_01: No, that's what the key of like being authentic and just actually yourself.
• 29:40
  SPEAKER_02: Now, I you know, Anita, I'm gonna give you an I'm gonna tell you a story, and it's I saw this video not too long ago, and it is a I guess an artist that that sketches people like very true to life, and he interviewed women and he asked them to describe themselves, but he couldn't see them, he was just sketching them based on the description that they gave him of themselves, right?
• 30:08
  SPEAKER_02: Interesting.
• 30:09
  SPEAKER_02: And then he sk he had other people, right?
• 30:15
  SPEAKER_02: Friends, people that knew them describe the same person.
• 30:20
  SPEAKER_02: And when you see, then then the woman went and was able to see both pictures and they revealed.
• 30:27
  SPEAKER_02: First, they revealed the picture that the artists had made of them with their description of how they saw themselves, you know, what they they said they look like.
• 30:39
  SPEAKER_02: And it was very distorted.
• 30:42
  SPEAKER_02: And then they reveal the second picture where the friends, the loved ones, had described the person.
• 30:49
  SPEAKER_02: And the picture in there was so much more accurate to the physicality of the person.
• 30:56
  SPEAKER_02: And I and I know that at times, you know, it's easy.
• 31:00
  SPEAKER_02: I do it.
• 31:01
  SPEAKER_02: I do it all the time.
• 31:02
  SPEAKER_02: I'll look at myself like, oh my God, look at that hair, look what's going on.
• 31:06
  SPEAKER_02: Or because we see, we we live with ourselves, we take ourselves wherever we go.
• 31:12
  SPEAKER_02: We're gonna see the good, the bad, and the ugly first.
• 31:15
  SPEAKER_02: But we got to remember that there's those people that see that from time to time, but still focus on what's real and what's there and what they what comes across as you're showing up.
• 31:28
  SPEAKER_01: Beautiful.
• 31:29
  SPEAKER_01: And also, that is so incredible that just the description of the person was more accurate.
• 31:37
  SPEAKER_02: Gotta find the video.
• 31:37
  SPEAKER_02: I forgot where I saw it, but it was so fascinating.
• 31:40
  SPEAKER_02: It was very cool.
• 31:42
  SPEAKER_01: If you do, we will have to link that in the show notes because that was so good.
• 31:46
  SPEAKER_02: Yeah, you got it.
• 31:47
  SPEAKER_02: Uh I I'm gonna do my homework now.
• 31:50
  SPEAKER_01: So take us back to the day you're laid off.
• 31:53
  SPEAKER_01: What's it feel like for you and your body?
• 31:57
  SPEAKER_02: Okay, so the day it was a Tuesday, never forget that.
• 32:03
  SPEAKER_02: And we had just been, we've been in pandemic.
• 32:07
  SPEAKER_02: We had been in lockdown for about a week and a half or so.
• 32:13
  SPEAKER_02: And the company that I worked for is in New York, it's an educational company.
• 32:18
  SPEAKER_02: And of course, schools had shut down.
• 32:21
  SPEAKER_02: But as part of the senior executive team, I needed to make sure that we can pivot, that we can find ways of building our income, not going under.
• 32:30
  SPEAKER_02: So I had been already having conversations with other companies or other partners and trying to figure out what partnerships or things we could do.
• 32:39
  SPEAKER_02: How can we pivot to being online?
• 32:41
  SPEAKER_02: And it was about five o'clock.
• 32:45
  SPEAKER_02: And I had not heard from the office, but I'd been doing my thing.
• 32:49
  SPEAKER_02: And the next thing you know, I got a call from the chief operating officer, someone that, and my role was chief innovation officer.
• 32:57
  SPEAKER_02: So we were part of that C-level executive team.
• 33:01
  SPEAKER_02: And I'll never forget his voice.
• 33:05
  SPEAKER_02: He was devastated.
• 33:06
  SPEAKER_02: You could see that there was so much anguish in his voice.
• 33:10
  SPEAKER_02: And I said, Julie, they laid me off.
• 33:13
  SPEAKER_02: I've been laid off.
• 33:14
  SPEAKER_02: And here's someone who, again, had been in this company longer than I had.
• 33:19
  SPEAKER_02: I'd been with a company close to 13 years, and he'd been there for 15.
• 33:27
  SPEAKER_02: And he was the chief operating officer of the company, one of the very top, the second in command.
• 33:34
  SPEAKER_02: And I immediately went into fix it mode.
• 33:39
  SPEAKER_02: I immediately it's like, don't worry, we're going, you know, you are incredibly smart and gifted, and we can put you out there as a fractional COO or CFO, because you know financials as well.
• 33:52
  SPEAKER_02: And I am going on and all the different ideas, and I'm trying to talk them up about how it's going to be okay.
• 33:59
  SPEAKER_02: And then all of a sudden, it occurred to me, and I thought, huh.
• 34:04
  SPEAKER_02: If they laid him off, am I next?
• 34:08
  SPEAKER_02: And I texted as I'm on on Zoom, I guess, with with the COO.
• 34:13
  SPEAKER_02: And I texted our CEO.
• 34:15
  SPEAKER_02: And I said, I'm on the phone with so and so, and am I next?
• 34:22
  SPEAKER_02: And he said, I'm calling you now.
• 34:25
  SPEAKER_02: And then immediately, like, it was this feeling of like, okay, what's next?
• 34:34
  SPEAKER_02: And and I wanted to believe that he was just calling me so that we can rally and figure out a plan, right?
• 34:42
  SPEAKER_02: There was a little tinge of hope that that was what the call was going to be about.
• 34:49
  SPEAKER_02: But when the words came out and he said, I'm sorry, but we're gonna have to let you go.
• 34:56
  SPEAKER_02: We cannot afford to keep you.
• 34:59
  SPEAKER_02: It was like this moment of this whole castle that I'd been building my whole life in my corporate career to make this Cinderella dream castle with all of the towers and so beautiful and everything so nicely curated.
• 35:15
  SPEAKER_02: I just saw it crumble and disappear.
• 35:17
  SPEAKER_02: And I thought, huh.
• 35:20
  SPEAKER_02: And the thing that hit hard too was I had never been laid off or fired from a job in my whole 50 years or, you know, but let's say 35 years of working, because I started working at 15.
• 35:36
  SPEAKER_02: So that that was definitely the like the thing that chipped at me, right?
• 35:41
  SPEAKER_02: Then the other piece that really chipped at me, and the real thing that really created a sense of sadness and grief is the company that I worked for, the founder of the company.
• 35:55
  SPEAKER_02: We met way before I came to work for her.
• 35:58
  SPEAKER_02: And she was an incredible woman, someone that I admired, loved, and we became friends.
• 36:03
  SPEAKER_02: And for many years, she asked me to come work for her.
• 36:06
  SPEAKER_02: She wanted me, she's like, You need to come work for me.
• 36:08
  SPEAKER_02: You need, and I would say, no, no, no.
• 36:11
  SPEAKER_02: Eventually, I made the leap.
• 36:13
  SPEAKER_02: I came to work with her, and it was a wonderful choice.
• 36:16
  SPEAKER_02: Now, she was not only my boss, the founder of the company, but she was also my mentor, my friend.
• 36:22
  SPEAKER_02: And she was there for me in times in my life in which I also went through a lot of despair when I went through my divorce.
• 36:31
  SPEAKER_02: And in 2017, she passed away.
• 36:37
  SPEAKER_02: And I stayed in the company.
• 36:39
  SPEAKER_02: I stayed because I felt that mission to continue to help the company and her family keep her legacy alive.
• 36:50
  SPEAKER_02: I had already been starting to think, oh, you know, maybe, and I had gone through one of my coaching certifications.
• 36:55
  SPEAKER_02: And I thought, oh, you know, maybe I'll do something someday, right?
• 36:59
  SPEAKER_02: And I knew that that was the idea.
• 37:01
  SPEAKER_02: So much so that in 2018 I attended the blogger conference.
• 37:07
  SPEAKER_02: And in 2019, I got my my yoga teacher certification.
• 37:11
  SPEAKER_02: And I knew, you know, like, okay, someday I'm gonna take the leap.
• 37:15
  SPEAKER_02: And when I got laid off, it was all that crumbling of my career, but it was also a final goodbye to someone that had been so influential in my life.
• 37:29
  SPEAKER_02: And that I was saying goodbye to her once again.
• 37:32
  SPEAKER_02: And that that was just such a you know raw emotion.
• 37:38
  SPEAKER_02: Now, I'll tell you, in in in true Julie form, when that happened, I didn't cry right away.
• 37:44
  SPEAKER_02: And I thought, okay, I went into fix it mode.
• 37:46
  SPEAKER_02: Okay, what am I gonna do?
• 37:47
  SPEAKER_02: What's next?
• 37:48
  SPEAKER_02: What what happens, right?
• 37:50
  SPEAKER_02: Excuse me.
• 37:51
  SPEAKER_02: And I that night we had we had a meeting with uh we were meeting with a group of people from our church, and you know, we I was the host and we still had our little meeting on Zoom and everything was fine.
• 38:05
  SPEAKER_02: And then my girlfriend, who already knew, right, that I had been laid off, she said, Hey, before we close, I want to pray for Julie because she's lost her job and she was laid off today.
• 38:19
  SPEAKER_02: And as she prayed and talked about, you know, and and was my believing mirror in that moment, in which she started to share, you know, Julie is this and she has that, and she's been all of that.
• 38:33
  SPEAKER_02: I realized that, you know, I wasn't alone.
• 38:36
  SPEAKER_02: And that was the first time that I actually cried, that I actually let it go.
• 38:41
  SPEAKER_02: And I knew, I knew at that moment when I was laid off, when I first got the call, that I I mean, I figure things out.
• 38:48
  SPEAKER_02: At the end of the day, when things are so dark and dreary, I figured it out and I've done it before.
• 38:56
  SPEAKER_02: And sometimes it doesn't feel like I'll be able to do it again, but I do.
• 39:00
  SPEAKER_02: And I also knew, like, okay, I know exactly what I'm gonna do.
• 39:04
  SPEAKER_02: I knew that I was gonna go out on my own, and I don't know what that looks like, but this is it.
• 39:09
  SPEAKER_02: This is the time, right?
• 39:10
  SPEAKER_02: It's not like I'm gonna go, and and I knew that I couldn't go through the process of working on my resume and sending a resume out.
• 39:20
  SPEAKER_02: This was the moment that had been given to me in which I needed to take that leap to do the thing that I'd been scared of doing, and that the universe just kind of kicked my ass and said, you know, you've been talking about this for so long, go do it.
• 39:35
  SPEAKER_02: And and I remember, you know, so many different times that I thought, oh, my friends are gonna think I'm crazy because I'm going, I'm leaving my corporate career and I'm doing that.
• 39:47
  SPEAKER_02: And then all of a sudden, all of that didn't matter.
• 39:50
  SPEAKER_02: And as I took that next step and the next step, everything began to crystallize and the and the road began to appear.
• 39:57
  SPEAKER_02: And again, I didn't see the road five years in.
• 40:01
  SPEAKER_02: All I saw, like you talked about, is like the little bit of the light, whatever the light was shining, and whatever that was the next step, that's what I was seeing.
• 40:12
  SPEAKER_02: And by the way, did I take wrong turns?
• 40:16
  SPEAKER_02: Of course.
• 40:16
  SPEAKER_02: Did I get a flat tire somewhere along the way?
• 40:19
  SPEAKER_02: Unavoidable, right?
• 40:22
  SPEAKER_02: But the thing is, when the things happen, turn around, change the tire, stop for a while and give yourself a break.
• 40:31
  SPEAKER_02: Go and celebrate that you've come so far, as far as you've come.
• 40:35
  SPEAKER_02: Those are the things that matter, and those are the things that make the journey the teacher, not the destination.
• 40:45
  SPEAKER_02: The journey is always the guide, the teacher, the thing that brings you along.
• 40:50
  SPEAKER_02: It's never going to be where you're going to arrive, the success that you're going after or the lives that you're going to change is the journey that you take with yourself that will teach you.
• 41:02
  SPEAKER_01: That's such a beautiful answer.
• 41:04
  SPEAKER_01: I just I want to acknowledge you because the way you crystallized how it happened, and honestly, you walked us through not only your feelings and the emotions, but also this very real part of a layoff that most people don't talk about, which is the grief.
• 41:25
  SPEAKER_01: Oh, 100%.
• 41:27
  unknown: Yeah.
• 41:28
  SPEAKER_01: Because you had the grief of losing your job, then you had the grief of basically separating from that mentor who played such a part in your life.
• 41:38
  SPEAKER_01: So for me, my next kind of question before we hit into the juicy nuggets of this is what did that rebirth process really start to feel like for you?
• 41:53
  SPEAKER_02: You know, I I I don't think I've quite seen it as a rebirth because I was already the person that always had a side hustle on the side, or the person that was dreaming of what else could she do?
• 42:08
  SPEAKER_02: But I I do see it as a transition, right?
• 42:11
  SPEAKER_02: It's you know, it's it's so overused, but I'm gonna have to use it because I can't think of something else that comes to mind.
• 42:18
  SPEAKER_02: But it was sort of like that metamorphosis of going from one thing to the next.
• 42:23
  SPEAKER_02: And it's not that the first thing was bad, but in order to be where I am today, right, I had to kind of give in and change and be willing to evolve from where I was to where I am today.
• 42:37
  SPEAKER_02: And did it feel nice?
• 42:40
  SPEAKER_02: Not always.
• 42:42
  SPEAKER_02: Was it something that I recommend people do?
• 42:46
  SPEAKER_02: Absolutely.
• 42:47
  SPEAKER_02: If you have a dream, go after it.
• 42:50
  SPEAKER_02: And don't worry about, you know, what are the steps?
• 42:53
  SPEAKER_02: Just worry about starting because that is the thing that keeps people stuck more than anything else.
• 43:01
  SPEAKER_02: Because the right mentors, the right friends, the communities, the things come along.
• 43:09
  SPEAKER_02: You know, and that's where the intentionality comes in.
• 43:12
  SPEAKER_02: You wake up in the morning and you said, How will I show up as the CEO of my life and business today?
• 43:18
  SPEAKER_02: How will I invest in myself today to become the person that I'm working to become?
• 43:24
  SPEAKER_01: Beautiful.
• 43:26
  SPEAKER_01: So then came Dan's gift, the podcast equipment and his words.
• 43:31
  SPEAKER_01: Yeah.
• 43:32
  SPEAKER_01: So what happened inside you when you realized this was your chance to finally speak?
• 43:38
  SPEAKER_02: So I've been talking about having a podcast for a very long time, and I always said, oh, we should start a podcast, and never took never took that first step.
• 43:46
  SPEAKER_02: So when Dan first got the podcasting equipment, he got it mainly because it was my birthday.
• 43:53
  SPEAKER_02: I was turning 50 in April, and I'd been laid off in March, in the middle of March.
• 43:59
  SPEAKER_02: I had been planning a big birthday party for myself.
• 44:02
  SPEAKER_02: And I still thought I was having the birthday party, Anita.
• 44:05
  SPEAKER_02: I still thought it was going to be, you know, the thing.
• 44:09
  SPEAKER_02: Well, sure, this lockdown thing will be over by then.
• 44:12
  SPEAKER_02: But the more that we got closer to the date and we realized that it's not going to happen.
• 44:17
  SPEAKER_02: Dan knew that there had to be something that could kind of, you know, take my mind off of that.
• 44:25
  SPEAKER_02: And I do love a challenge.
• 44:27
  SPEAKER_02: And certainly, although I love a challenge, it was, it had been so intimidating before that I needed to have someone say, Hey, here's the road you're going to take, and I will walk with you on that road.
• 44:40
  SPEAKER_02: And that that's what became incredibly important.
• 44:44
  SPEAKER_02: That I, yes, I was going to be able to share my voice.
• 44:47
  SPEAKER_02: And did I know what the podcast was going to be about?
• 44:49
  SPEAKER_04: No.
• 44:50
  SPEAKER_02: Did I know the podcast was going to be a way in which I can continue to build a community and get people to know me enough to say, hey, I want Julie to be in my corner and help me and coach me?
• 45:04
  SPEAKER_02: I didn't know that.
• 45:05
  SPEAKER_02: But what I did is that I was going to hit record.
• 45:09
  SPEAKER_02: And what did I want that recording to be?
• 45:12
  SPEAKER_02: And what did I want that recording to do once it was out?
• 45:18
  SPEAKER_02: So that that's how the podcast, you know, really came about I knew that I wanted to share a message that, hey, we'll all been there.
• 45:26
  SPEAKER_02: We're imperfect.
• 45:27
  SPEAKER_02: We don't always feel like we got it together.
• 45:30
  SPEAKER_02: But here's what it looks like in that journey.
• 45:33
  SPEAKER_02: And here's what it looks like when you start to see the payoff for your effort.
• 45:41
  SPEAKER_02: And here's how you can also take the tools that somebody else use and kind of fast track yourself so that you can keep going and keep the momentum for your own life going.
• 45:51
  SPEAKER_02: And I knew that that's what I wanted to do.
• 45:53
  SPEAKER_02: And I knew that no matter what we talked about, the bottom line is I needed to hit record and I needed to be okay with not being great.
• 46:03
  SPEAKER_02: And I remember the first time that I recorded, we were doing an intro, right?
• 46:07
  SPEAKER_02: One recording.
• 46:09
  SPEAKER_02: And I sat, I'll never forget, we were in the dining room.
• 46:12
  SPEAKER_02: We weren't even in the office, even though I had an office.
• 46:14
  SPEAKER_02: And we were sitting in the dining room, and here's the mic.
• 46:17
  SPEAKER_02: And Dan said, Okay, what are you going to talk about?
• 46:20
  SPEAKER_02: And I thought, what am I gonna talk?
• 46:22
  SPEAKER_02: I don't know what am I gonna talk about.
• 46:23
  SPEAKER_02: What should I talk about?
• 46:24
  SPEAKER_02: And for you know, here's someone who always has something to say, right?
• 46:28
  SPEAKER_02: All of a sudden, like, I don't know what I'm gonna talk about.
• 46:30
  SPEAKER_02: And it it brought me back, right?
• 46:34
  SPEAKER_02: What do I want people to hear?
• 46:36
  SPEAKER_02: What do I want people to know?
• 46:39
  SPEAKER_02: And how do I share that message?
• 46:41
  SPEAKER_02: So I took a piece of paper and I wrote, I don't know, 10, 15, 20 questions.
• 46:46
  SPEAKER_02: And I handed them to Dan and I said, okay, ask me these questions.
• 46:52
  SPEAKER_02: And that's how, you know, he he inherited the role of not only producer of the show, but also the co-host, right?
• 46:59
  SPEAKER_02: And that co-host that helps me with the introduction of the podcast and framing the conversation.
• 47:05
  SPEAKER_02: But he asked me the questions that I I knew that, hey, I was didn't want people to know about me because look how great I am, but because I wanted them to know I am coming into your living room, into your car, into the place where you're listening to the show.
• 47:20
  SPEAKER_02: And I want you to know who is this person, right?
• 47:23
  SPEAKER_02: And let's be friends.
• 47:25
  SPEAKER_01: Let's be friends.
• 47:27
  SPEAKER_01: I like to think of my podcast as like coffee chats.
• 47:30
  SPEAKER_01: You're listening to two friends connecting over coffee chats.
• 47:34
  SPEAKER_01: Yeah.
• 47:34
  SPEAKER_01: And happen to get a good golden nugget in along the way.
• 47:38
  SPEAKER_01: That's all that it's about.
• 47:40
  SPEAKER_01: Mm-hmm.
• 47:41
  SPEAKER_02: You know, the coffee chats with friends are sometimes so not we don't give it enough credit for the things that are born in coffee shops or in coffee chats with friends.
• 47:54
  SPEAKER_02: I I have a group of friends that we are are going now.
• 47:58
  SPEAKER_02: We have an annual trip to Girls' Weekend, and it's it was born from a conversation.
• 48:04
  SPEAKER_02: We had a coffee shop, you know, and I think that we need to have more of these conversations where people just show up as themselves, share with each other, and find some laughter, some encouragement, and and support in a community that accepts them.
• 48:24
  SPEAKER_01: Absolutely.
• 48:25
  SPEAKER_01: I think some of my best ideas have actually came out of the free shops, if I'm being honest.
• 48:31
  SPEAKER_01: There you go.
• 48:32
  SPEAKER_01: Very, very good.
• 48:33
  SPEAKER_01: I love that.
• 48:35
  SPEAKER_01: So your podcast didn't just take off, it became literally a platform for you that changed the trajectory of your work.
• 48:43
  SPEAKER_01: What did you discover about yourself while learning to start sharing your voice more openly?
• 48:54
  SPEAKER_02: I think that it not so much discovered, but more so reiterated that I have an opinion.
• 49:02
  SPEAKER_02: It's always a strong opinion.
• 49:04
  SPEAKER_02: I am not gonna sugarcoat, I am going to show up as myself.
• 49:07
  SPEAKER_02: And the other piece of it is that I was going to be okay if someone didn't like what I was talking about.
• 49:18
  SPEAKER_02: Because I don't have to be everybody's cup of tea.
• 49:25
  SPEAKER_02: And for so long, you know, we want to be again, like I said in the beginning, right?
• 49:32
  SPEAKER_02: The the puzzle piece that fits into wherever puzzle we're going into.
• 49:39
  SPEAKER_02: But it's enough.
• 49:41
  SPEAKER_02: It's it's enough to to say, you know what, I'm not doing that anymore.
• 49:44
  SPEAKER_02: This is it, this is what I'm just gonna say.
• 49:47
  SPEAKER_02: Oh, may not like it.
• 49:48
  SPEAKER_02: Too bad.
• 49:48
  SPEAKER_02: That's what I'm going to say.
• 49:50
  SPEAKER_02: And and it's interesting because Dan is a little more cautious than I am when it comes to in certain things.
• 49:59
  SPEAKER_02: He's like, you can't say that.
• 50:00
  SPEAKER_02: You can't.
• 50:00
  SPEAKER_02: I'm like, too bad.
• 50:01
  SPEAKER_02: So sad.
• 50:02
  SPEAKER_02: It's my show.
• 50:02
  SPEAKER_02: I'm saying it.
• 50:03
  SPEAKER_02: Right.
• 50:03
  SPEAKER_02: And and not that I don't value his opinion because he he is your sounding board.
• 50:10
  SPEAKER_02: More my sounding board, but he's he's very in the in the disc.
• 50:15
  SPEAKER_02: He is more of a feeling person where I I I will run you over, right?
• 50:20
  SPEAKER_02: I just see the big picture, he sees the details, and he reminds me, right, that yes, the message is great and that's wonderful, but is that is it helpful to everyone?
• 50:32
  SPEAKER_02: And he's never really censored me, but again, he gives me that pause.
• 50:36
  SPEAKER_02: And sometimes there is so much power in pausing, right?
• 50:43
  SPEAKER_01: Absolutely.
• 50:44
  SPEAKER_01: I think it can be an immense gift.
• 50:49
  SPEAKER_01: Maybe not necessarily sugarcoat or stop yourself from saying something, but it's that reassessment point of is my message really yeah, something I want to say and what I want to be traced back to me, or is it something that five, 10, 15 years down the road it's gonna be irrelevant or might yeah, and and you know, Anita, the thing with podcasting, right, is we will put our content out there.
• 51:18
  SPEAKER_02: It's evergreen.
• 51:20
  SPEAKER_02: Whatever we say about whatever, it's gonna be out there.
• 51:24
  SPEAKER_02: And yes, we have the power to take it down, we have the power of editing, but there's always someone that tuned in, right?
• 51:34
  SPEAKER_02: Yeah, and you then have the power to give that person either a gift or not.
• 51:43
  SPEAKER_02: Okay, and that's what it's important to keep in mind when we're having the conversations, because listen, my girlfriends and I can get into really fun conversations, but if we're not careful, those conversations may not necessarily edify or help or support or inspire somebody else.
• 52:03
  SPEAKER_02: Beautiful.
• 52:03
  SPEAKER_02: So it's not about necessarily censoring what we say in a podcast, but it's about really being clear.
• 52:10
  SPEAKER_02: And this is something that I take my clients because now, you know, in addition to not only being a business coach, one of the things that we do is we help podcasters launch and grow their brand and really expand their voice, use their podcast to grow and become the authority in the area where they are.
• 52:28
  SPEAKER_02: And as I'm speaking to my clients about this, I'm not I don't discourage them from showing up, but I want to encourage them to really understand the power their voice has, right?
• 52:44
  SPEAKER_02: The power and the impact that they can create for somebody else.
• 52:49
  SPEAKER_02: And show up authentically.
• 52:51
  SPEAKER_02: If you're mad about something and you want to talk about it, do it.
• 52:55
  SPEAKER_02: But do it in a way that maybe is not tearing other people down.
• 53:01
  SPEAKER_01: Beautiful.
• 53:02
  SPEAKER_02: And that's a skill in itself.
• 53:04
  SPEAKER_02: Oh, always.
• 53:05
  SPEAKER_02: I mean, it's in in real life and podcasting and relationships, always.
• 53:09
  SPEAKER_02: And it's not that you censor yourself, it's just that you know what?
• 53:13
  SPEAKER_02: I'm mad, I'm not, you know, I don't have anything nice to say about that person, so maybe I won't say anything, but I will share that that bothered me, right?
• 53:22
  SPEAKER_01: Absolutely.
• 53:23
  SPEAKER_02: So there is a way to share your message, stay cohesive with your values without necessarily creating because our world is full of crappy content and crappy people tearing others down.
• 53:37
  SPEAKER_02: Why add to the noise?
• 53:39
  SPEAKER_01: Absolutely.
• 53:41
  SPEAKER_01: So when you work with women now, what's the first thing you listen for that tells you that they're hiding their power in some way?
• 53:54
  SPEAKER_02: I think that most women are hiding their power when they are looking to work on very superficial things, right?
• 54:06
  SPEAKER_02: And then when it comes to building a business, do you need a website?
• 54:11
  SPEAKER_02: Do you need your logo?
• 54:12
  SPEAKER_02: Hey, by the way, when I started my business, that was the first thing I wanted to work on is the website and the logo, right?
• 54:19
  SPEAKER_02: And working on the website and the logo was a form for me to say, I don't feel ready, I don't feel competent, I don't want people to find out that I may not be the whole shebang, right?
• 54:35
  SPEAKER_02: So I listened for that.
• 54:37
  SPEAKER_02: And for the women that says, you know what?
• 54:39
  SPEAKER_02: Oh yeah.
• 54:40
  SPEAKER_02: And maybe they come to me and they already have the website, and maybe they have the logo, and maybe they have one client.
• 54:45
  SPEAKER_02: And when they come to me, they're like, you know what, it's so great.
• 54:47
  SPEAKER_02: I can't wait.
• 54:48
  SPEAKER_02: And oh, but I need to go take that class because once I become, I have that other certification, I'm gonna be better, right?
• 54:57
  SPEAKER_02: Oh no, wait a minute.
• 54:58
  SPEAKER_02: You know what?
• 54:59
  SPEAKER_02: I knew that I wanted to launch a course, but I don't want to do that anymore.
• 55:01
  SPEAKER_02: I want to, I want to do group coaching.
• 55:04
  SPEAKER_02: You know what?
• 55:04
  SPEAKER_02: The group coaching, nobody signed up.
• 55:06
  SPEAKER_02: I think I need to go ahead and I'm gonna start a membership.
• 55:11
  SPEAKER_02: Oh no, let me go back to the course.
• 55:14
  SPEAKER_02: That's how I know that woman is hiding because they don't give themselves enough time to do the thing, right?
• 55:26
  SPEAKER_02: My podcast grew and and it's had a very strong start.
• 55:31
  SPEAKER_02: Honestly, I was delighted.
• 55:34
  SPEAKER_02: And now we still have a great ranking.
• 55:38
  SPEAKER_02: But if I decided after five episodes, you know what, I don't want to talk about confidence anymore.
• 55:44
  SPEAKER_02: I'm gonna go review the next movie, right?
• 55:48
  SPEAKER_02: I didn't have enough people listen to that.
• 55:51
  SPEAKER_02: Or, you know what?
• 55:52
  SPEAKER_02: I think we're gonna talk about relationships, and it's gonna be a conversation about husband and wife's relationships.
• 55:58
  SPEAKER_02: You don't give things enough time to land.
• 56:03
  SPEAKER_02: So, as a woman is building a business, I encourage them to stay the course, and that's why they hire me.
• 56:10
  SPEAKER_02: They're not they don't hire me because I'm gonna run their business, they don't hire me because I'm gonna tell them how to do it.
• 56:17
  SPEAKER_02: They hire me because I want to remind them that don't forget this is the dream.
• 56:24
  SPEAKER_02: And if you want to get to the dream, these are the steps that are known to work.
• 56:29
  SPEAKER_02: And you don't have to do it my way, but you can do it in a way that's still you, and it's keeping you in that consistent action, in that consistent momentum.
• 56:40
  SPEAKER_01: Beautiful.
• 56:41
  SPEAKER_01: So you've walked through many identity shifts, new countries, new languages, new how do you hold yourself steady during these immense amount of changes?
• 56:56
  SPEAKER_02: You know, there there's a phrase that I heard in my early 20s, and it and I go back and I think that it's really the the thing right that has anchored me.
• 57:10
  SPEAKER_02: And the phrase is you give kids roots and wings.
• 57:15
  SPEAKER_02: And I was lucky enough that I had some very strong roots planted in me by my grandmother, by my dad, by my mom, by people in my life.
• 57:27
  SPEAKER_02: But I also knew that I wanted more, I wanted wings.
• 57:34
  SPEAKER_02: And when people said, Oh, maybe you shouldn't fly so close to the sun, I listened more to myself than I listened to other people.
• 57:47
  SPEAKER_02: And I did the thing, and hey, flying to the sun, not easy, scary, could be detrimentally bad.
• 57:55
  SPEAKER_02: But if you know, and you can push and you know that you have the wings, like try it, try it anyway.
• 58:03
  SPEAKER_02: Listen to yourself, step out, and the worst thing that can happen is you get too close and then you burn yourself, and then you say, Okay, well, I'm not gonna fly that close anymore.
• 58:12
  SPEAKER_02: But I know that I can do it, right?
• 58:14
  SPEAKER_02: And that gives you the level of confidence that you need.
• 58:17
  SPEAKER_02: And that's what's helped to ground me.
• 58:19
  SPEAKER_02: You know, when I go back, when when I'm in a new environment and a new place and a new home.
• 58:25
  SPEAKER_02: And by the way, you know, one of the things I told my husband not too long ago is that this house, we've been married 13 years, is going to be 14 in March.
• 58:34
  SPEAKER_01: Congratulations.
• 58:35
  SPEAKER_02: This home is the place where I have lived the most in my entire life, right?
• 58:42
  SPEAKER_02: In my whole 55 years, I've lived here the most.
• 58:46
  SPEAKER_02: And the thing is that again, I I know what's important to me.
• 58:53
  SPEAKER_02: I know what I value, I know why I value it, right?
• 58:56
  SPEAKER_02: But I also know what more I want.
• 58:59
  SPEAKER_02: Where else do I want to go?
• 59:00
  SPEAKER_02: And I start to not sit around wishing.
• 59:04
  SPEAKER_02: I take action.
• 59:05
  SPEAKER_02: And that action is what gets you the traction.
• 59:09
  SPEAKER_01: Beautiful.
• 59:10
  SPEAKER_01: So what's a belief you once held that you had to completely rewrite to become the jewel you are today?
• 59:24
  SPEAKER_03: That I needed to belong in rooms that I didn't belong.
• 59:29
  SPEAKER_03: Beautiful.
• 59:32
  SPEAKER_01: And confidence had a flavor, a color, and a sound.
• 59:35
  SPEAKER_01: How and to describe it.
• 59:37
  SPEAKER_02: Well, the flavor is strawberry, okay?
• 59:41
  SPEAKER_02: The sound is the Ramones.
• 59:44
  SPEAKER_02: I want to be sedated.
• 59:46
  SPEAKER_02: And the color is red, of course.
• 59:51
  SPEAKER_02: But I I think that it varies for everyone, right?
• 59:54
  SPEAKER_02: The color, the flavor, the sound, it's gonna vary for everyone.
• 59:58
  SPEAKER_02: Absolutely.
• 59:59
  SPEAKER_02: And and it's a matter of paying attention and saying, okay, what does that mean?
• 1:00:04
  SPEAKER_02: And that's the beauty of life.
• 1:00:05
  SPEAKER_02: We can go to the ice cream shop and it's gonna be all different flavors for everybody, right?
• 1:00:10
  SPEAKER_02: Absolutely.
• 1:00:10
  SPEAKER_02: And if we want, we can combine the flavors, and that's what we like.
• 1:00:14
  SPEAKER_02: But it's really important to know.
• 1:00:16
  SPEAKER_02: And by the way, try the different flavors until you find the one that is your flavor.
• 1:00:23
  SPEAKER_01: Beautiful.
• 1:00:24
  SPEAKER_01: So, what's one small thing that our listeners can do is to start seeing themselves the way you would see them?
• 1:00:35
  SPEAKER_02: I think the best way that anyone can do to see themselves and the way that somebody else sees them is to number one, be okay with the imperfections.
• 1:00:45
  SPEAKER_02: And even myself, sometimes I'm not okay with it.
• 1:00:49
  SPEAKER_02: Imperfections.
• 1:00:51
  SPEAKER_02: But I'm reminded, like, oh, I am telling myself a story.
• 1:00:55
  SPEAKER_02: Oh, I am noticing that I hate how that looks or that sounded.
• 1:01:01
  SPEAKER_02: And bring back the awareness and bring back the intentionality and be okay with the imperfections overall.
• 1:01:08
  SPEAKER_01: Beautiful.
• 1:01:09
  SPEAKER_01: So final question before we go to our quick fire round.
• 1:01:12
  SPEAKER_01: Ooh, okay.
• 1:01:14
  SPEAKER_01: What is currently bringing you joy?
• 1:01:18
  SPEAKER_02: So there are so many different things, but currently we moved our office and you know, put my my desk stayed the same, honestly, but Dan moves stuff around.
• 1:01:28
  SPEAKER_02: But one of the things that brings me joy, and not to say that they didn't before, but one of my dogs, he sits in the other desk chair right here next to me.
• 1:01:38
  SPEAKER_02: And it's it's great because then I can just pet him and I'm, you know, and he's so cute.
• 1:01:44
  SPEAKER_02: And every once in a while he'll be laying there like and it just brings me so much joy, you know?
• 1:01:48
  SPEAKER_02: It's so amazing.
• 1:01:50
  SPEAKER_01: What?
• 1:01:50
  SPEAKER_01: So you have an assistant.
• 1:01:52
  SPEAKER_02: I have three assistants.
• 1:01:54
  SPEAKER_02: The other two come and go, but this one is always here.
• 1:01:56
  SPEAKER_02: He's a mama's boy.
• 1:01:59
  SPEAKER_02: Okay.
• 1:01:59
  SPEAKER_02: Oh, look, he's poking, he's poking his head.
• 1:02:01
  SPEAKER_02: You see him?
• 1:02:02
  SPEAKER_02: Barely.
• 1:02:04
  SPEAKER_02: Yeah.
• 1:02:05
  SPEAKER_02: Okay.
• 1:02:06
  SPEAKER_01: Yeah, he's so cute.
• 1:02:08
  SPEAKER_01: Okay, let's do it.
• 1:02:09
  SPEAKER_01: Sentence or a word bot.
• 1:02:11
  SPEAKER_01: We're just gonna go at it.
• 1:02:13
  SPEAKER_03: Okay, let's do it.
• 1:02:14
  SPEAKER_01: A recent book you read that's changed your life.
• 1:02:19
  SPEAKER_02: Hmm.
• 1:02:20
  SPEAKER_01: Or it could be a book that changes your life if that helps.
• 1:02:23
  SPEAKER_02: The four agreements.
• 1:02:24
  SPEAKER_02: I mean, that definitely is one of the books that I highly recommend.
• 1:02:26
  SPEAKER_02: It should be required reading.
• 1:02:28
  SPEAKER_02: But you know, the one that I I read, and you know, that that really is impacting me is, and and I have to say I am sorry that I don't know the name off the top of my head because I just started it, but it it definitely has become very permission to offend.
• 1:02:52
  SPEAKER_02: And it's by Rachel Luna.
• 1:02:54
  SPEAKER_02: I love it.
• 1:02:54
  SPEAKER_02: And and the reason that this book is really changing, so Rachel Luna, her brand is the confident girl.
• 1:03:02
  SPEAKER_02: And sadly, she passed away last week.
• 1:03:05
  SPEAKER_02: And it's something that I I've been meaning to read her book for a long time.
• 1:03:10
  SPEAKER_02: So it I was reminded that you know, we we cannot wait, oh, I'm gonna get the book later or I'm gonna do that next.
• 1:03:17
  SPEAKER_02: Do it when you're thinking about it, right?
• 1:03:20
  SPEAKER_02: Because I'm loving the book.
• 1:03:23
  SPEAKER_02: And did she, she could have heard from me how much I love the book.
• 1:03:30
  SPEAKER_02: But I missed the opportunity.
• 1:03:31
  SPEAKER_02: So that's life-changing.
• 1:03:34
  SPEAKER_02: Beautiful.
• 1:03:36
  SPEAKER_03: One word that describes your current season.
• 1:03:42
  SPEAKER_03: Summer.
• 1:03:45
  SPEAKER_03: She went literal.
• 1:03:47
  SPEAKER_02: Summer, it's getting hot in here.
• 1:03:51
  SPEAKER_02: But right, it's the beauty of it is that we still have long days.
• 1:03:59
  SPEAKER_02: The beauty of it is that we have the opportunity to plan ahead for the fall, for the coziness, for what's to come.
• 1:04:10
  SPEAKER_02: And could there be a winter cold bitter in the future?
• 1:04:15
  SPEAKER_02: Sure.
• 1:04:15
  SPEAKER_02: Everybody's gonna have that.
• 1:04:17
  SPEAKER_02: But the nice thing about having knowing that there's that winter that's gonna come is that spring will follow, right?
• 1:04:24
  SPEAKER_02: But the season I'm in is definitely summer.
• 1:04:27
  SPEAKER_01: A daily non-negotiable that fuels your power.
• 1:04:32
  SPEAKER_02: Hmm.
• 1:04:34
  SPEAKER_02: The first non-negotiable, and and this is definitely something that in it's happened in the last four years.
• 1:04:40
  SPEAKER_02: And it's very simple.
• 1:04:42
  SPEAKER_02: When I have my feet hit the ground and I get up, I tell my dogs, it's gonna be a great day.
• 1:04:50
  SPEAKER_02: And it it is so changing to be able to immediately put yourself in a positive mindset, right?
• 1:05:00
  SPEAKER_02: And and celebrate, like, oh yeah, I told myself it's gonna be a great day.
• 1:05:04
  SPEAKER_02: And then your brain all of a sudden begins to rewire itself for positivity.
• 1:05:09
  SPEAKER_02: And that that is non-negotiable because I think that if we get started with our day, if we begin to worry about what we can't control, we're robbing ourselves of the opportunity to be grateful for for the fact that we have one more day.
• 1:05:25
  SPEAKER_01: Beautiful.
• 1:05:27
  SPEAKER_01: So, what is a song that instantly lifts your mood?
• 1:05:33
  SPEAKER_02: So many, but I love I want to be sedated by the Ramones.
• 1:05:38
  SPEAKER_02: That's one of my favorite songs.
• 1:05:40
  SPEAKER_02: And anytime I hear it, I can't help but to smile.
• 1:05:44
  SPEAKER_01: Best advice you've ever received in one sentence.
• 1:06:00
  SPEAKER_02: I would say the best advice that I received was from my dad, and in one sentence is you know, babe Ruth struck out a lot, but he still was one of the best.
• 1:06:10
  SPEAKER_02: And it takes striking out a lot to be one of the best.
• 1:06:15
  SPEAKER_02: So don't be afraid of the strikeouts.
• 1:06:17
  SPEAKER_01: I love that.
• 1:06:19
  SPEAKER_01: One thing you want women to stop apologizing for everything.
• 1:06:24
  SPEAKER_02: I have a rule.
• 1:06:25
  SPEAKER_02: When you work with me, when you're in my community, when I'm interviewing you, and you say, Oh, I'm sorry, I I will say no apologies.
• 1:06:31
  SPEAKER_02: There's no apologies here.
• 1:06:33
  SPEAKER_02: This is the non-apology zone.
• 1:06:34
  SPEAKER_02: And I think that it's so easy that we're conditioned to say, Oh, I'm sorry.
• 1:06:41
  SPEAKER_02: Sorry for what?
• 1:06:43
  SPEAKER_02: For showing up.
• 1:06:45
  SPEAKER_02: So stop doing that.
• 1:06:46
  SPEAKER_02: And I want I want people to even if you can't stop right away, at least be aware of it.
• 1:06:51
  SPEAKER_02: Because by the way, I do it.
• 1:06:53
  SPEAKER_02: It's part of our conditioning, but let's stop it.
• 1:06:57
  SPEAKER_01: Well, this has been a beautiful conversation.
• 1:07:00
  SPEAKER_01: I am so, so honored that we've actually crossed paths the way we did.
• 1:07:05
  SPEAKER_02: Well, you're amazing, and your questions have been incredibly thoughtful.
• 1:07:09
  SPEAKER_02: And thank you for taking me down memory lane and taking me in some turns and really making me really appreciate the fact that as a podcaster, you have a place where I can get to share with people who maybe may not come across me just like the people that you touched in my community when you came in.
• 1:07:31
  SPEAKER_02: You took us through a beautiful exercise in my mastermind and also your wisdom and and goodness that you shared on my show.
• 1:07:39
  SPEAKER_02: I'm so grateful that we had definitely crossed paths.
• 1:07:43
  SPEAKER_01: As I am.
• 1:07:44
  SPEAKER_01: So, where can people find you?
• 1:07:46
  SPEAKER_01: What's the best way to connect with you?
• 1:07:47
  SPEAKER_01: Because I'm sure after this lovely conversation, they're going to be wanting all the jewelry that they can find possible.
• 1:07:56
  SPEAKER_02: Well, the best way place to connect with me is goconfidentlycoaching.com.
• 1:08:01
  SPEAKER_02: And I am Julie DeLucaCollins on all of the platforms.
• 1:08:04
  SPEAKER_02: But go to my website.
• 1:08:05
  SPEAKER_02: I have tons of really fun stuff in there, great resources for free.
• 1:08:09
  SPEAKER_02: And if you want to know what I'm up to, you'll find it on the website.
• 1:08:13
  SPEAKER_02: Beautiful.
• 1:08:14
  SPEAKER_01: Well, I will be leaving her show notes podcast in the show notes and all the links until next time.
• 1:08:22
  SPEAKER_01: This has been an under See, I still got tongue time.
• 1:08:28
  SPEAKER_01: And I cannot wait.
• 1:08:31
  SPEAKER_01: Please let us know in the socials on all the things, what your thoughts were, what your favorite part of this conversation was, and I look forward to hearing from you.
• 1:08:42
  SPEAKER_00: Thank you for rising with me today.
• 1:08:44
  SPEAKER_00: If this episode moved you, share it.
• 1:08:47
  SPEAKER_00: Tag me at Arise with Anita, and make sure to subscribe so you never miss a future activation.
• 1:08:53
  SPEAKER_00: And if you feel called, leave a quick review.
• 1:08:56
  SPEAKER_00: It helps more women find the space and rise into their power.
• 1:08:59
  SPEAKER_00: Your next level is already waiting.
• 1:09:01
  SPEAKER_00: Now go claim it.
• 1:09:03
  SPEAKER_00: I'll see you in the next episode.