Latest / I Do, Part 2 / “I Want To Feel Like A Guy Got Struck By Lightning And Can’t Live Without Me”

Transcript

“I Want To Feel Like A Guy Got Struck By Lightning And Can’t Live Without Me” · I Do, Part 2

0:02
Speaker 1: Hey there, folks. It is Thursday, November thirteenth, and a
0:06
Speaker 1: central question in the grand finale of The Golden Bachelor
0:11
Speaker 1: last night was can you truly prove your commitment short
0:18
Speaker 1: of an engagement? Well, we got the answer last night.
0:21
Speaker 1: The thing is, I'm still not exactly sure what it
0:23
Speaker 1: is Robes And with that, welcome to this episode of
0:25
Speaker 1: Amy and TJ. Right. That was central to it the
0:29
Speaker 1: grand finale. We know who Mel picked, but so much
0:33
Speaker 1: more time was spent on the woman he didn't pick
0:36
Speaker 1: and why.
0:38
Speaker 2: It was an interesting case in how we fall in love,
0:42
Speaker 2: who we trust, and perhaps even how you handle putting
0:47
Speaker 2: your heart out there at an older age versus a
0:50
Speaker 2: younger age. You know, like, how willing are you to trust?
0:54
Speaker 2: What does time mean to you when you're in your sixties.
0:57
Speaker 2: It's very different than when you're in your twenties or
1:00
Speaker 2: thirties or even forties.
1:02
Speaker 1: This was a rope. This is a great, great, great show.
1:06
Speaker 1: I didn't think that the whole season, but when it
1:08
Speaker 1: all comes together with these relationship themes, and I love
1:11
Speaker 1: the idea of throwing people in their older ages second chance.
1:14
Speaker 1: What's on the line? Risk you take everything you just
1:17
Speaker 1: hit on played out last night. If you haven't been
1:19
Speaker 1: watching over the season, what was a good chance A
1:22
Speaker 1: lot of you have not, because this has been a
1:23
Speaker 1: really low rated season. And I think I've seen just
1:27
Speaker 1: about everybody places the blame in one place for why
1:30
Speaker 1: it's been a lowly rated season.
1:32
Speaker 2: Yes, everyone is blaming mel Owens because he's such a good,
1:36
Speaker 2: nice guy. He's not controversial, he's not over the top.
1:42
Speaker 2: He's not saying outlandish things or rude things, or even
1:45
Speaker 2: super loving things. He's playing it straight forward. He's being
1:49
Speaker 2: true to himself. He's a Michigander, my god, through and through.
1:53
Speaker 2: I know them well. I come from a long line
1:56
Speaker 2: of them. And that maybe didn't make for exciting, explosive television.
2:02
Speaker 2: I used to seeing.
2:05
Speaker 1: Boring, Yes, boring period. Now you I love that. You
2:09
Speaker 1: were so delicate now you put that.
2:10
Speaker 2: But sometimes life is boring, you know what I mean,
2:13
Speaker 2: Like I think, but not on television. You don't want
2:14
Speaker 2: to watch it bad it.
2:16
Speaker 1: Is, thank you, And I think most people tell you
2:18
Speaker 1: life is pretty exciting. Oh, in one way or another.
2:22
Speaker 1: Sometimes it's bad. But this was a case this guy,
2:26
Speaker 1: and I think, how good and everything you talk about
2:28
Speaker 1: Michigander came through even more so in these final episodes
2:32
Speaker 1: because he did something that a lot of women wish
2:34
Speaker 1: that guys would do. He was honest, yeah, and she
2:38
Speaker 1: didn't like the answer. Yeah.
2:39
Speaker 2: You know, he reminds me a lot of my dad,
2:41
Speaker 2: maybe that I'm I feel like I know him because
2:45
Speaker 2: he is that that guy that every girl wants, and
2:49
Speaker 2: yet you can't make him or force him to feel,
2:53
Speaker 2: or do or say what you want them to. And
2:55
Speaker 2: I think that is what we saw from one of
2:57
Speaker 2: the final to Women six, Cindy. She's sixty years old
3:01
Speaker 2: and she wanted him to she said, not be able
3:06
Speaker 2: to live without her. And I remember I looked at
3:09
Speaker 2: you when she said that I want somebody who can't
3:11
Speaker 2: live without me, and I thought that was interesting. That
3:14
Speaker 2: sounds like something someone would say in their twenties, and
3:17
Speaker 2: even now, as a woman in her fifties, I can
3:20
Speaker 2: honestly say to you, I want you to be able
3:23
Speaker 2: to live without me. I want you to choose me.
3:26
Speaker 2: I want you to want to spend your life with me.
3:28
Speaker 2: But I don't need you to want to live to
3:30
Speaker 2: not be able to live without me. That seems far fetched.
3:33
Speaker 1: That's year's life learning experience. Yes, but in defense of women.
3:40
Speaker 1: And we've heard some things she said, and there was
3:42
Speaker 1: a live audience. They were women were applauding.
3:45
Speaker 2: She got standing ovations multiple times.
3:47
Speaker 1: Some of the things she was saying, you find, and
3:49
Speaker 1: I find other people would say that is unhealthy. You
3:52
Speaker 1: shouldn't need anybody for your happiness. You should need to
3:56
Speaker 1: provide it to anybody else. And she at times, and
3:58
Speaker 1: some of the things she was saying include that one
4:01
Speaker 1: in particular makes you sit up and stop. And I
4:04
Speaker 1: said to you, that is the thing that's probably that
4:08
Speaker 1: scares the hell out of guys.
4:09
Speaker 2: And it scares the hell out of me. Having look,
4:12
Speaker 2: we've lived enough life. But I've talked about this before.
4:15
Speaker 2: It's this fairy tale that a lot of us women
4:18
Speaker 2: are sold. From the moment we can consume any kind
4:21
Speaker 2: of media, we're told our Prince Charming is out there.
4:24
Speaker 2: And yes, the narratives are starting to shift with Disney movies,
4:27
Speaker 2: et cetera. But it also feels very forced, like, oh, yeah,
4:30
Speaker 2: my true love is my sister or my true love
4:32
Speaker 2: is myself. Okay, I get that, but the reality is
4:36
Speaker 2: most of us are told that our prince is waiting
4:39
Speaker 2: for us, and He's gonna save us from all of
4:41
Speaker 2: our problems, and it seemed like Cindy was suffering from
4:44
Speaker 2: that and then being applauded by and supported by other
4:48
Speaker 2: women who also believe in that. She made a lot
4:52
Speaker 2: of lines that contribute to that narrative. I don't need
4:57
Speaker 2: I don't need to convince a man to love me.
5:00
Speaker 2: I'm not interested in being put on hold. She was
5:03
Speaker 2: so invested in the outcome, and I get that that
5:06
Speaker 2: she missed the journey. Dare I say the journey, But
5:10
Speaker 2: that's a word used a lot on these shows, and
5:11
Speaker 2: on this one in particular. But she wasn't interested in
5:15
Speaker 2: the process or in the development. She wanted the happy
5:19
Speaker 2: ending immediately.
5:20
Speaker 1: Okay, So I have to at least in her defense
5:23
Speaker 1: or excuse me, at least a part of the conversation,
5:25
Speaker 1: and it was a part of the finale as well,
5:28
Speaker 1: was about the outcome. Where you come onto the show,
5:31
Speaker 1: she kept arguing understanding what the outcome is supposed to be.
5:36
Speaker 1: She made the argument that all twenty three of these
5:38
Speaker 1: women that came here, mel you left them with the
5:41
Speaker 1: impression just by coming on the show that there was
5:44
Speaker 1: an engagement at the end, and.
5:46
Speaker 2: You know, what And I think, yes, that has been
5:49
Speaker 2: the case in some of the circumstances, and a lot
5:51
Speaker 2: of the audience is hoping and waiting for that. But
5:54
Speaker 2: he was there to find someone. He was there to
5:57
Speaker 2: find a partner. And I believe that he just said
6:00
Speaker 2: I can't tell you that I'm here to propose, and
6:04
Speaker 2: that offended her argument.
6:05
Speaker 1: Yes, but should he have understood that these twenty three
6:09
Speaker 1: women expect that and he needs to deliver it, because
6:13
Speaker 1: that was the impression she gave, or at least the argument,
6:15
Speaker 1: like you brought us here, she had one point set
6:17
Speaker 1: that like all of us here, she did, I have
6:19
Speaker 1: an expectation of an engagement at the end. The woman
6:22
Speaker 1: he picked sure didn't. But ultimately, but this woman did.
6:27
Speaker 1: Is that a fair argument that mel It wasn't okay
6:30
Speaker 1: for you to tell me that maybe there's not an engagement.
6:34
Speaker 2: I think it's totally fair. I mean, come on, she's
6:36
Speaker 2: not a show, yes, but this is still life. We're
6:38
Speaker 2: talking about real life. This might be a TV show,
6:41
Speaker 2: but life continues after the show. And I thought he
6:45
Speaker 2: was actually really smart. It wasn't as if he just said, oh,
6:48
Speaker 2: I'm not going to end up with anybody I'm doing this.
6:50
Speaker 2: Do you really think that mel was doing it for
6:52
Speaker 2: publicity or doing it to make a name for himself
6:55
Speaker 2: or to get some extra cash on the side. I
6:57
Speaker 2: do believe he was there to find a partner, and
6:59
Speaker 2: I actually think it's more valuable and more genuine for
7:03
Speaker 2: him to say, uh that he was looking for a
7:06
Speaker 2: partner and that could lead to an engagement and a wife.
7:10
Speaker 2: But it didn't necessarily mean it had to happen in
7:12
Speaker 2: that moment, on that day.
7:14
Speaker 1: The other issue with it possibly uh In. I don't
7:17
Speaker 1: know whose favorites this is in, but the timing we
7:20
Speaker 1: taught timing two things having to do with age and
7:23
Speaker 1: having to do with how much time they got to
7:24
Speaker 1: spend together on this show, it is unreasonable to start
7:28
Speaker 1: dating somebody and to think in four months you need
7:31
Speaker 1: to propose in real life that's on that's unreasonable now.
7:37
Speaker 2: And yes, and if that person is dating twenty three
7:39
Speaker 2: other people in the beginning of it, that also waters
7:42
Speaker 2: down the time you have to get to know someone.
7:45
Speaker 1: But again that worked against them. But is that the
7:51
Speaker 1: absurdity of possibly a show like this maybe should take
7:55
Speaker 1: that out of hell. Even Jesse was a former bachelor,
7:58
Speaker 1: he didn't propose what it means to me? The first
7:59
Speaker 1: one that yes, okay, so it happens, but I have
8:03
Speaker 1: never seen I haven't watched the show enough. Like someone's
8:06
Speaker 1: so upset that you, while you're still considering another woman,
8:11
Speaker 1: won't sit here and tell me that you are going
8:14
Speaker 1: to be willing to get engaged to me, is her argument. Look,
8:20
Speaker 1: if that's where she is, we have to respect it.
8:23
Speaker 1: I just I can't fault Mel for being practical.
8:26
Speaker 2: Neither can I. And look, Cindy seems I mean, she's
8:29
Speaker 2: obviously an very intelligent woman. She's a mother of three,
8:32
Speaker 2: She's gone through a lot, she's a biomedical she was
8:35
Speaker 2: a biomedical engineer. Yes, but what I thought was sad
8:39
Speaker 2: on her end. And look, look I get it. These
8:42
Speaker 2: are real feelings, and I think that is what this show,
8:44
Speaker 2: in this episode certainly proved this season. She was hurt,
8:48
Speaker 2: she wanted him to be all about her, and I
8:51
Speaker 2: do think that was unreasonable going for her. She pointed
8:55
Speaker 2: that Mel was unreasonable for maybe not automatically saying I'm
8:58
Speaker 2: going to propose to someone at the end, I think
9:01
Speaker 2: she was unreasonable to believe that she should have been
9:05
Speaker 2: held up on a pedestal higher than all the other women.
9:08
Speaker 2: She wanted to have the lightning bolt. She wanted to
9:11
Speaker 2: have him say I'll do anything, You're the one, and
9:14
Speaker 2: that's not what the show's about. And even if he
9:16
Speaker 2: did feel that way, the show would never want him
9:18
Speaker 2: to say that while there are still two people in Antigua,
9:23
Speaker 2: where there are still two women, and she wanted confirmation,
9:27
Speaker 2: she wanted validation, and he couldn't give it to her,
9:30
Speaker 2: and so instead of and he pointed this out in
9:32
Speaker 2: the live reunion, which was an awkward, awkward moment on
9:38
Speaker 2: the show, but he made a really good point, we
9:41
Speaker 2: never got to go to the fantasy suite. And she
9:43
Speaker 2: kind of was like, well, you didn't earn the right to,
9:45
Speaker 2: but he said, no, this wasn't about being intimate with you,
9:48
Speaker 2: This wasn't about having sex. This was an opportunity to
9:52
Speaker 2: talk without the microphone, without the cameras, and you denied
9:57
Speaker 2: us that opportunity because on.
9:59
Speaker 1: Camera you wouldn't do what I told you you needed
10:04
Speaker 1: to do. Now I have seen you, we don't know
10:07
Speaker 1: this show. She's been pleasant throughout Ashley from the very beginning.
10:11
Speaker 1: I said, that's my girl. Yeah, I said, that's the
10:13
Speaker 1: one he's going to end up with. You did think
10:15
Speaker 1: that that's the one? So she all these are pleasant,
10:17
Speaker 1: accomplished folks. It seems that she did. And he makes
10:21
Speaker 1: the point, look, things work out, but she missed, and
10:24
Speaker 1: he said, you didn't see the process through. We don't
10:26
Speaker 1: know what would have happened if we were in private
10:29
Speaker 1: and for the first time and all of the show
10:31
Speaker 1: could sit and look at each other without anybody talking
10:34
Speaker 1: to us or a camera in our face and nothing
10:36
Speaker 1: going on. You know, but how are we supposed to
10:38
Speaker 1: get married or engaged if you and I have only
10:42
Speaker 1: spent a couple of dates together and then the one
10:45
Speaker 1: chance we get to finally be alone, one on one
10:47
Speaker 1: with nothing around you say?
10:49
Speaker 2: Nah, And you know what, I'm not trying to blame
10:54
Speaker 2: her at all, because this has got to be a
10:56
Speaker 2: really tough position to be in. But don't you think
10:59
Speaker 2: that's ego? She felt rejected. She didn't get the confirmation,
11:03
Speaker 2: the affirmation, the validation that I understand she wanted, but
11:07
Speaker 2: also she needed to understand the show she was on.
11:10
Speaker 2: And when he said we had to finish the journey,
11:12
Speaker 2: but we never got there, there was another person and
11:15
Speaker 2: she wasn't being I don't think she was giving him
11:18
Speaker 2: enough rope to be able to experience both and to
11:22
Speaker 2: make a choice. He said, you wanted a proposal, and
11:25
Speaker 2: you and because I wouldn't commit to doing that in
11:28
Speaker 2: that moment, you refuse to go to the fantasy suite.
11:31
Speaker 2: And again, it wasn't about sex, it was about conversation.
11:33
Speaker 2: It was about being able to be private. And when
11:36
Speaker 2: she you know what she said back to him, I
11:38
Speaker 2: learned enough. That's ego because then she'll say, I still
11:43
Speaker 2: I loved you. We could have been great, we could
11:45
Speaker 2: have been amazing. We could have and she still believes that.
11:49
Speaker 2: But she didn't give him the opportunity to have private
11:54
Speaker 2: conversation with her.
11:55
Speaker 1: And we have to respect her for a decision, for
11:59
Speaker 1: what she did, decided to do, for why she did it,
12:02
Speaker 1: and everything else. I was fully prepared in watching the
12:05
Speaker 1: finale to be upset with something male did. I'm like,
12:09
Speaker 1: wn he did this girl wrong? Or how it went
12:11
Speaker 1: down when they let it all play out and you
12:13
Speaker 1: hear it.
12:14
Speaker 2: Yeah, she needed something he couldn't give her.
12:20
Speaker 1: Yes, And it seemed like we didn't. She didn't take
12:23
Speaker 1: into consideration the criteria, like the circumstances we're on the show.
12:28
Speaker 1: This is this is different. It's okay. It's possible she
12:32
Speaker 1: couldn't handle the idea of the next day that roe
12:35
Speaker 1: Ceram or whatever might have happened and gotten embarrassed. Who knows,
12:39
Speaker 1: or she just might know her heart. She knows herself
12:42
Speaker 1: and that's a wrap.
12:44
Speaker 2: Yes, and there are and look, everyone has different needs.
12:48
Speaker 2: She needs somebody to be all about her and that's fine.
12:51
Speaker 2: I get that. That's wonderful and that's what she is
12:54
Speaker 2: now going to have to go try and find.
12:56
Speaker 1: But isn't that what any woman, and certainly the ones
12:59
Speaker 1: in that room clapping and applauding these lines want you
13:05
Speaker 1: want the guy? What was her line about lightning strike
13:08
Speaker 1: or something?
13:08
Speaker 2: She said? I got it exactly.
13:12
Speaker 1: I want to feel like a guy got struck by
13:14
Speaker 1: lightning and can't live without me. That's what's wrong with
13:18
Speaker 1: wanting that. Nothing everybody's personal preference. It's not for me,
13:22
Speaker 1: and I don't want to be with somebody who thinks that,
13:25
Speaker 1: but for others who want that, And you hit every
13:27
Speaker 1: why not robes? Now you and I go back and
13:30
Speaker 1: forth about this. Why shouldn't we hold onto the fantasy?
13:33
Speaker 2: Why shouldn't we Because it's not reality, and it ends up.
13:36
Speaker 2: If you have expectations that are that high, yes, no
13:40
Speaker 2: relationship will ever meet those standards, and you will always
13:44
Speaker 2: be disappointed. And I will say I young, as a
13:49
Speaker 2: young woman, I did believe that, and now as a
13:53
Speaker 2: more mature, experienced woman, I now know. And this is
13:57
Speaker 2: gonna sound so cheesy, Oh, push through it. You have
14:00
Speaker 2: to be your biggest advocate and your own champion, and
14:04
Speaker 2: you have to love yourself the most, and then there
14:08
Speaker 2: is space to love someone else. And you don't have
14:10
Speaker 2: to require some unfair amount of love that you need
14:15
Speaker 2: someone to give you. In fact, you can and I'm
14:17
Speaker 2: not saying to be treated badly, but when you place
14:20
Speaker 2: all of your expectations of joy, happiness, love, contentment piece
14:25
Speaker 2: on someone else, you are always going to be disappointed.
14:29
Speaker 1: All right, we'll stay with us, folks. When we come back,
14:31
Speaker 1: we'll get into who he actually picked and why we
14:35
Speaker 1: think she might be the perfect pick for him. Also,
14:39
Speaker 1: we'll get into the back and forth. Did we see
14:42
Speaker 1: really a difference in personalities between mel and Cindy or
14:47
Speaker 1: is this more of the same man versus woman? And
14:50
Speaker 1: we'll give Robock to finally answer this question. Can you
14:54
Speaker 1: prove a commitment short of an engagement ring. Hey that folks,
15:07
Speaker 1: I promise you, Robock. And I was still going at
15:09
Speaker 1: it about this story during that short break there, yes
15:12
Speaker 1: talking about mel Mel has picked his woman on The
15:16
Speaker 1: Golden Bachelor last night, the big finale. He picked Peg,
15:19
Speaker 1: the firefighter, former firefighter and bomb expert who from the
15:23
Speaker 1: jump robes. I you know what, I said, Cindy, that's
15:27
Speaker 1: the one for him. You liked Peg? I did, and
15:30
Speaker 1: my response was he can't handle her.
15:33
Speaker 2: But you know what, maybe that's exactly what he needs.
15:36
Speaker 2: And I from the moment she walked onto this show,
15:39
Speaker 2: there was an energy, there was a confidence. This is
15:42
Speaker 2: a woman who's been through stuff just like all the
15:44
Speaker 2: other women, but she has found a way to love herself.
15:48
Speaker 2: She walks with confidence, she walks like a badass and
15:53
Speaker 2: she embodies that. And yes, she wasn't the one saying
15:57
Speaker 2: I love you, pick me. She said, I'm not sure
16:00
Speaker 2: that I love you, but I like you. Let's see
16:03
Speaker 2: where this goes. She had a spirit that was just
16:07
Speaker 2: full of life and without expectations. And wow, I felt
16:11
Speaker 2: like we could all seriously as women and we all
16:15
Speaker 2: have our own moments, but I felt like, well, I
16:16
Speaker 2: want to be like her. I want to be her,
16:19
Speaker 2: I want.
16:20
Speaker 1: To make I don't know how it's coming off, but
16:22
Speaker 1: we sounded like we liked her. We didn't like her
16:23
Speaker 1: for this reason or that read the two every one
16:26
Speaker 1: we said this from the very beginning. This was the
16:28
Speaker 1: women were carrying this show.
16:30
Speaker 2: They were awesome.
16:31
Speaker 1: They were all awesome, all impressive. That was a seventy
16:33
Speaker 1: seven year old woman that walked out there badass with
16:36
Speaker 1: that dress on. Do you think girl?
16:37
Speaker 2: It's you know what? It was a reminder to me
16:39
Speaker 2: as I'm getting older, like, look, we all want to
16:43
Speaker 2: look younger and feel younger. That's a thing. I get it,
16:46
Speaker 2: and you want to hold on to the beauty of
16:49
Speaker 2: your youth. But the people and the women who I
16:53
Speaker 2: fell in love with the most, it didn't matter what
16:55
Speaker 2: they looked like. It didn't matter if they had hair
16:57
Speaker 2: extensions or whatever work they had done. It was their spirit,
17:00
Speaker 2: it was their energy, it was their confidence. It's just
17:04
Speaker 2: a reminder that is the beauty of us getting older,
17:09
Speaker 2: what we can bring with us, and it's less about
17:12
Speaker 2: looks and more about who you are. I really saw
17:15
Speaker 2: that play out watching this show, and that's why I really.
17:18
Speaker 1: Do think there's such value in these shows, more so
17:22
Speaker 1: than I mean, some of the stuff is just entertaining.
17:23
Speaker 1: When you talk about love islands, all of them broke up,
17:26
Speaker 1: sure that afternoon, but.
17:28
Speaker 2: You still learn about dynamics, ego and relationships.
17:32
Speaker 1: So it's all the same and it plays out here,
17:35
Speaker 1: and I love that it played out with that extra
17:38
Speaker 1: element of age. What do you do? Do you have
17:42
Speaker 1: time to feel it out, to figure it out, to
17:45
Speaker 1: make sure this is going to work? Or do we
17:47
Speaker 1: do as Cindy said, you gotta jump in? What leap
17:50
Speaker 1: of faith?
17:51
Speaker 2: Yes, leap of faith?
17:52
Speaker 1: He wasn't willing to do that, and she thought we
17:55
Speaker 1: should just take a lip of faith and get engaged. Okay,
17:58
Speaker 1: but where do you fall on that. You're twenty five,
18:01
Speaker 1: you're in a relationship for five years, don't go well,
18:03
Speaker 1: thirty still hot, gon't be okay? But when you're sixty,
18:07
Speaker 1: sixty two, sixty five, like, wow, I need you to
18:11
Speaker 1: commit and tell me right now after four months? I
18:16
Speaker 1: think that's real, is it not? I mean, this is
18:18
Speaker 1: a smaller timeframe, but in the real world, don't you
18:22
Speaker 1: hold on thought? Do we know a lot of couples
18:24
Speaker 1: older couples like e hain't let me stick with this
18:27
Speaker 1: asshole here because I can't. Ain't nobody else out there
18:30
Speaker 1: for right?
18:30
Speaker 2: Yes, without a doubt, that is that. That is absolutely
18:34
Speaker 2: a huge factor in people getting together and staying together,
18:38
Speaker 2: maybe when if they just gave it a beat, they wouldn't.
18:41
Speaker 2: And I do think there's nothing more lonely than being
18:45
Speaker 2: in a bad relationship. I'd rather be alone.
18:49
Speaker 1: You say that, I think some people would definitely disagree
18:52
Speaker 1: with you. I would rather have something. Somebody not being
18:56
Speaker 1: alone is debilitated.
18:58
Speaker 2: That's scary as hell to me. I'm not going to
19:01
Speaker 2: pretend that I do not fear that. Absolutely. I think
19:04
Speaker 2: that is a fear within us all on some level.
19:07
Speaker 2: Maybe I don't know, do you have that fear. I
19:09
Speaker 2: don't think I'm.
19:09
Speaker 1: Afraid people will be around all the time exactly. You
19:14
Speaker 1: are an anomaly, but relationship wise, nobody wants you want somebody.
19:21
Speaker 2: Yes, I hate eating alone. I've never been to a
19:24
Speaker 2: movie alone. So yes, I fully understand that. I also
19:27
Speaker 2: know how lonely it is to be in a relationship
19:30
Speaker 2: that you don't want to be in.
19:33
Speaker 1: Well, this last thing here I mentioned here man versus
19:36
Speaker 1: woman or was this male versus Cindy personality wise, he's
19:40
Speaker 1: they used it. I think he was the one that
19:41
Speaker 1: said it a matter of like, you're no. She might
19:44
Speaker 1: have said it, You're practical. You're being practical about these
19:47
Speaker 1: things and I'm making a more emotional decision. You and
19:51
Speaker 1: I talk about this in everything we do every day.
19:53
Speaker 1: This comes up practical versus emotional. Practical versus emotional is
19:59
Speaker 1: I didn't see as soon as as they say that,
20:00
Speaker 1: I said, oh, sweetheart, I'm ready to go. This is
20:03
Speaker 1: early in the show, which was an hour and a half, Yes,
20:05
Speaker 1: like twenty minutes in, I said, I'm done. We can
20:07
Speaker 1: do the podcast. I got all I need. That jumped
20:12
Speaker 1: out at me because that is something that plays out
20:15
Speaker 1: all the time in relationship. It does.
20:16
Speaker 2: And even his best friend Diane. This is Mel's best friend, Diane,
20:20
Speaker 2: who met PEG. After she met her, she went to Mel.
20:24
Speaker 2: She's a lawyer. Mel's a lawyer. I didn't realize this,
20:27
Speaker 2: so they're very analytical, and she said, don't let your
20:31
Speaker 2: brain get in the way of your heart. She told
20:34
Speaker 2: him that that was her advice to him. And I
20:37
Speaker 2: do think that, yes, if you really think about how
20:40
Speaker 2: risky it is to get into a relationship with somebody,
20:43
Speaker 2: how risky it is to propose or get married to somebody.
20:46
Speaker 2: You're right, it is, so you do kind of at
20:51
Speaker 2: some point have to just follow your heart. If you
20:53
Speaker 2: let your brain do all the work, you'll never you'll
20:57
Speaker 2: never commit to anyone because you're right, you might get hurt,
21:02
Speaker 2: your ego might be shattered, and that is always on
21:06
Speaker 2: the line. Always. You don't ever truly know someone, And
21:11
Speaker 2: certainly when you've been doing it on television, what is
21:14
Speaker 2: that trust level? Like, it's hard enough in the real world,
21:17
Speaker 2: let alone when someone might be just doing something for
21:20
Speaker 2: the camera.
21:21
Speaker 1: And these people don't know each other, it's impossible to
21:24
Speaker 1: know each other. After a few months, you can try
21:25
Speaker 1: your best, but it takes so much.
21:27
Speaker 2: I love what Peg and Mel said to each other
21:31
Speaker 2: in the live when they were reunited, And I have
21:33
Speaker 2: to tell you, I don't think I'm being hoodwinked here.
21:36
Speaker 2: They looked absolutely magical together, like happy, and it all
21:41
Speaker 2: worked out the way it was supposed to. But she
21:43
Speaker 2: had zero expectations, and I thought that was so cool
21:47
Speaker 2: because that just allowed for the relationship to develop as
21:50
Speaker 2: it should in whatever way it was going to. And
21:55
Speaker 2: he told her this. I trusted you, and you trusted me.
21:58
Speaker 2: You told me that you knew I would make the
22:01
Speaker 2: right decision. How cool is that? I mean, that takes
22:03
Speaker 2: a lot of confidence. She knew there was another woman,
22:06
Speaker 2: and she still was able to say that, like she
22:08
Speaker 2: knew she was gonna be okay either way. Put your
22:11
Speaker 2: heart out there to an extent, but just let it
22:14
Speaker 2: be and don't force it. You can't force someone. If
22:18
Speaker 2: you try to force someone to pros to you, I
22:20
Speaker 2: don't think it's ever gonna work.
22:21
Speaker 1: She understood the show, she understood the assignment, and she
22:25
Speaker 1: understands herself better than anybody. She is going to be okay,
22:29
Speaker 1: you pick me or you don't. I have no control
22:31
Speaker 1: over that. I am just PEG. Go back and watch
22:34
Speaker 1: the season and watch PEG from episode one to the finale,
22:39
Speaker 1: and you'll see a different type of person whose joy
22:43
Speaker 1: came from somewhere within that had nothing to do with
22:47
Speaker 1: everything going around and when you let.
22:48
Speaker 2: Go cause look and again, I thought that Cindy was
22:52
Speaker 2: a beautiful, wonderful person.
22:54
Speaker 1: He's my favorite.
22:56
Speaker 2: But I have to say when it's such a lesson,
22:59
Speaker 2: if you can just let go of trying to control everything,
23:02
Speaker 2: if you can. It's so hard to do and trust.
23:06
Speaker 2: As Gabby Bernstein says, the universe has your back. Things
23:11
Speaker 2: start to fall into place when you try to control things,
23:14
Speaker 2: and she, by leaving controlled the outcome.
23:17
Speaker 1: Not to control an outcome the other person didn't, and
23:21
Speaker 1: look at where it ended up. The last thing I
23:23
Speaker 1: wanted to make sure, I asked here, I want if
23:25
Speaker 1: people can hear that boat out.
23:26
Speaker 2: Back going by the very loud voat Yeah.
23:29
Speaker 1: Sorry, we were recording here in our studio at home,
23:31
Speaker 1: and there's a river right outside of the window, and
23:33
Speaker 1: apparently the biggest boat ever is going by right now.
23:36
Speaker 1: But the last question I said, I don't want to
23:37
Speaker 1: ask you, can you prove a commitment to a woman
23:41
Speaker 1: short of an engagement.
23:43
Speaker 2: That's a really good question, and I think it depends
23:46
Speaker 2: on the woman. I think yes, the answer is absolutely yes.
23:51
Speaker 2: How by what you say, how you act, what you do.
23:56
Speaker 2: I mean that a woman feels what what Cindy wasn't
24:02
Speaker 2: getting from Mel And this is because of the cameras
24:04
Speaker 2: in the show itself. Some reassurance, you need verbal reassurance,
24:10
Speaker 2: you need physical reassurance, and I think you need consistency.
24:15
Speaker 2: But yes, the trust at some point you do have
24:18
Speaker 2: to just put your trust in someone else. But I
24:22
Speaker 2: do think it's by showing up every day. It's by consistency,
24:25
Speaker 2: it's by being in that person's life every day. It's
24:27
Speaker 2: about how you.
24:29
Speaker 1: Act practical things because I hear what you're saying, and
24:32
Speaker 1: no one and I think include being you would accept
24:36
Speaker 1: those things. Right. Wow, shows up every day, He's very engaged,
24:41
Speaker 1: says he loves me, do all the right things. But
24:44
Speaker 1: he still lives there. I still live here. We still
24:48
Speaker 1: don't know this person in his life while you talk
24:50
Speaker 1: about things. Somebody can give you every bit of love,
24:53
Speaker 1: but there is something or some signal that still oftentimes
24:57
Speaker 1: people look for to think okay, not engage. No, he's
25:00
Speaker 1: okay with me.
25:01
Speaker 2: I have it for you. So I really do think
25:04
Speaker 2: that I said this to you because we struggled with
25:06
Speaker 2: this a little for a while. I mean, we were
25:08
Speaker 2: together for just about three years before you proposed. But
25:13
Speaker 2: I will say this, I wanted an hour's. I didn't
25:17
Speaker 2: want a mine and a yours. And for me, the
25:20
Speaker 2: commitment was having an hours and having our life together
25:25
Speaker 2: and merging our lives together. I preferred to be married
25:29
Speaker 2: and to have an engagement. But if you didn't and
25:31
Speaker 2: we had this conversation, I was okay with that, but
25:34
Speaker 2: I wanted us to live together. I wanted us to
25:37
Speaker 2: be together. We didn't have to have the even though
25:41
Speaker 2: I will fully say here, I prefer it, even though
25:43
Speaker 2: we don't have to have the legal document that says X,
25:46
Speaker 2: Y and Z, and it's harder for you to leave
25:48
Speaker 2: because then you'd have to get a divorce. I don't
25:50
Speaker 2: want anyone to be with me who feels like they
25:53
Speaker 2: have to for money or legal reasons. But I do
25:57
Speaker 2: think that making the commitment to merger lives together is
26:00
Speaker 2: what it it that was what I needed. I can't
26:03
Speaker 2: speak for all of them.
26:04
Speaker 1: So you said merging lives. Can you merge lives short
26:07
Speaker 1: of living together?
26:11
Speaker 2: No, because you still have one foot out the door
26:13
Speaker 2: for me. No.
26:14
Speaker 1: When you break this down to what we're talking about now,
26:17
Speaker 1: the only way you can show commitment live together. Give
26:20
Speaker 1: me a ring for me?
26:22
Speaker 2: Yes.
26:22
Speaker 1: What do you think it is for most women?
26:24
Speaker 2: Yes? I think it's the same because because I feel
26:27
Speaker 2: like if you're keeping your options open by keeping your
26:29
Speaker 2: own place, you've got one foot out the door.
26:31
Speaker 1: You're not fully in.
26:33
Speaker 2: You're not fully in.
26:34
Speaker 1: Okay, folks, we might have to do a part too,
26:36
Speaker 1: because you just said something, Now, how is a foot
26:39
Speaker 1: out the door?
26:40
Speaker 2: You got one foot in one door and one foot
26:42
Speaker 2: in another door. It feels like that.
26:45
Speaker 1: Oh man, Okay, folks, we do encourage you. Go back.
26:50
Speaker 1: If you haven't seen, here we go again promoting an
26:53
Speaker 1: ABC show. But if you haven't seen Golden Bachelor, we
26:56
Speaker 1: encourage it because we do believe it. There are great
27:00
Speaker 1: lessons in there for all of us. Whether it has
27:02
Speaker 1: to do is relationships, how to treat others, how to
27:04
Speaker 1: view others, what you should recognize in others, and frankly
27:07
Speaker 1: just being happy with yourself. And particularly take a look
27:11
Speaker 1: at Peg and Cindy from the very first to the end.
27:15
Speaker 1: Now that you know the outcome, I like watching.
27:17
Speaker 2: It is kind of cool once you already know. And
27:18
Speaker 2: I and also just want to say this, I actually
27:20
Speaker 2: loved the ending. It wasn't a proposal, it was a
27:23
Speaker 2: promise ring And then a few months later because they
27:26
Speaker 2: always have to keep it secret while they're putting the
27:28
Speaker 2: show together and having an air but when we saw
27:30
Speaker 2: them together for the first time, when they announced, when
27:32
Speaker 2: we all knew that they were together or an item,
27:36
Speaker 2: he said, I'm in love with her, and then she said,
27:39
Speaker 2: and I'm in love with him one hundred percent. And
27:41
Speaker 2: I love what Jesse Palmer said at the end the
27:43
Speaker 2: host it worked. He almost sounded surprise.
27:47
Speaker 1: Jesse was shocked and Jesse, we're gonna call you too, man.
27:50
Speaker 2: We have a We love Jesse, we love us, We
27:53
Speaker 2: miss Jesse.
27:53
Speaker 1: We miss Jesse. Well. Georgia game was the last time
27:56
Speaker 1: we talked to him this season. But we yeah, we're
28:00
Speaker 1: gonna We're gonna talk to Jesse about We take issue
28:03
Speaker 1: with some of the tones. Sometimes during during the episodes,
28:07
Speaker 1: we'll be hollering at you, Jesse, but folks, we always
28:09
Speaker 1: appreciate you listening to us. We do encourage you to
28:12
Speaker 1: go back and watch it. But it's been It was fascinating.
28:15
Speaker 1: We might have to do a part two robes and
28:16
Speaker 1: you said something that fired me up, So all right,
28:19
Speaker 1: stay tuned.