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A Powerful Shift for Healing: Embracing Both/And Thinking · Healing Her Story with Riva Jean-Paul

• 0:14
  SPEAKER_01: Hello, and welcome to this week's episode of the Healing Her Story Podcast.
• 0:20
  SPEAKER_01: My name is Reva Jean-Paul.
• 0:22
  SPEAKER_01: I'm a trauma-informed somatic practitioner, menstrual psycho coach, interdisciplinary artist, and host for your show.
• 0:32
  SPEAKER_01: Today's episode is short and sweet, but don't let that fool you about the potency of this simple yet powerful shift I'm inviting you to make today.
• 0:45
  SPEAKER_01: It's something that has supported me deeply, not just in my healing journey, but in life.
• 0:52
  SPEAKER_01: And I find that it aligns perfectly with the duality and the dynamic energy of Gemini season that we are currently in as this is being recorded and as this episode is being aired.
• 1:07
  SPEAKER_01: When I first started on this path, I approached everything in a very all or nothing way.
• 1:16
  SPEAKER_01: It was honestly how I learned to survive.
• 1:19
  SPEAKER_01: And I feel it's how many of us learn to survive.
• 1:23
  SPEAKER_01: I thought that if I couldn't do something perfectly, then I was a failure.
• 1:31
  SPEAKER_01: And I see this so often in the women that I work with, especially in the early stages of healing from trauma or burnout.
• 1:43
  SPEAKER_01: It can sometimes sound like this.
• 1:47
  SPEAKER_01: Well, I was calm this morning, but now I'm spiraling, so clearly I'm not healing.
• 1:56
  SPEAKER_01: Well, I clearly can't commit to doing this meditation practice every morning, so I might as well just not do it at all.
• 2:07
  SPEAKER_01: Well, I was in this disagreement with my friend, and I got super triggered.
• 2:16
  SPEAKER_01: So clearly I've failed and I haven't gotten anywhere on my healing journey.
• 2:25
  SPEAKER_01: I was taking a moment here to pause and to maybe notice if it sounds familiar at all or feels familiar at all.
• 2:39
  SPEAKER_01: And if it doesn't, that's okay.
• 2:43
  SPEAKER_01: And if it does, that's okay too.
• 2:49
  SPEAKER_01: Without vilifying ourselves or making ourselves wrong or bad for thinking this way.
• 2:58
  SPEAKER_01: We just want to take a moment here to maybe invite in some compassion for these very I don't know if normal is the right word, but common parts that can arise along this path of healing.
• 3:20
  SPEAKER_01: And also acknowledging the environment of which we all live in.
• 3:27
  SPEAKER_01: And how we can sometimes live in a very black or white thinking world.
• 3:37
  SPEAKER_01: That's not to say everywhere in the world is like this.
• 3:41
  SPEAKER_01: And I think culturally it's it's something that we really struggle with.
• 3:47
  SPEAKER_01: And I think that this isn't just a mindset issue, it can also be a reflection of an imprint that's in our nervous system.
• 4:04
  SPEAKER_01: All or nothing thinking is something that we sometimes do to make ourselves feel safe.
• 4:12
  SPEAKER_01: Because boy, doesn't that feel good when everything is just packaged up real nicely with a pretty bow on it and you can just put it in a category of this or that?
• 4:24
  SPEAKER_01: Our brain loves to know, our brain loves to understand, and so it makes a lot of sense to me that this is something that the brain does to protect itself and to make things more simple and more clear.
• 4:44
  SPEAKER_01: And I also find that this can sometimes be connected with a dysregulation in our nervous system.
• 4:53
  SPEAKER_01: Because again, our brain is is wired to seek clarity and safety.
• 4:59
  SPEAKER_01: And it does this through control.
• 5:04
  SPEAKER_01: It wants things to be either good or bad, or safe or unsafe, or right or wrong, because it simplifies choices and it minimizes perceived threat.
• 5:22
  SPEAKER_01: This binary lens is an adaptive survival response.
• 5:27
  SPEAKER_01: However, it doesn't always support long-term healing.
• 5:35
  SPEAKER_01: I have found for myself that the deepest healing or the truest healing, it happens in the in between spaces.
• 5:45
  SPEAKER_01: It's in the paradox, it's in the bowl and not this or that.
• 6:01
  SPEAKER_01: I am healing and I still have my I can be excited about my future.
• 7:03
  SPEAKER_01: From a neuroscience perspective, this shift can also help invite in the prefrontal cortex.
• 7:10
  SPEAKER_01: And this is the part of our brain responsible for insight and emotional regulation and long-term planning.
• 7:20
  SPEAKER_01: And it also allows us to move from this survival-based reactivity into grounded presence.
• 7:29
  SPEAKER_01: It expands our window of presence and it allows us to hold life's complexities with grace.
• 7:40
  SPEAKER_01: Because the truth is, you are not just one thing.
• 7:44
  SPEAKER_01: You are not just your trauma or your strength.
• 7:48
  SPEAKER_01: You are not always one emotion or one identity.
• 7:52
  SPEAKER_01: You are a whole, evolving, cyclical being with multiple truths and parts coexisting all at once.
• 8:04
  SPEAKER_01: Maybe you might like to think of your healing like a garden.
• 8:09
  SPEAKER_01: Some parts of the soil are rich and fertile, already blooming with growth.
• 8:15
  SPEAKER_01: Other areas are still compacted or barren, needing more light or more time.
• 8:24
  SPEAKER_01: You wouldn't judge the whole garden by one patch.
• 8:29
  SPEAKER_01: You wouldn't expect every flower to bloom at the same time, or maybe you would.
• 8:35
  SPEAKER_01: Or perhaps you might like to imagine the moon, a symbol that we return to again and again here.
• 8:43
  SPEAKER_01: The moon is always whole, even when it appears only as a sliver.
• 8:48
  SPEAKER_01: There are phases where it shines brightly, and phases where it disappears into the darkness.
• 8:55
  SPEAKER_01: None are wrong.
• 8:57
  SPEAKER_01: None are wasted.
• 9:07
  SPEAKER_01: Permission to be whole, even when we're in the process.
• 9:13
  SPEAKER_01: So if you're in a moment where you feel like you're not doing enough, or you are afraid that you've lost progress, or you're caught in a loop of I should be further along by now, I invite you to pause and to notice where that all or nothing pattern might be playing out.
• 9:34
  SPEAKER_01: And maybe you might want to ask yourself, can I hold both?
• 9:40
  SPEAKER_01: Can I be tired and proud?
• 9:44
  SPEAKER_01: Can I be messy and still on the path?
• 9:49
  SPEAKER_01: This small but mighty shift opens the door to healing that is sustainable, honest, and rooted in truth, not perfectionism.
• 10:03
  SPEAKER_01: And if this perspective is resonating with you, I want to remind you that I have a free trauma recovery mini course that offers three more simple yet powerful shifts just like this, each designed to help you reconnect with your body and expand your self-trust and feel more resourced and supported on your path of healing.
• 10:27
  SPEAKER_01: And you can find that link in the show notes.
• 10:32
  SPEAKER_01: Next week I'll be back with our cycle check-in and a beautiful guest episode.
• 10:38
  SPEAKER_01: Oh my gosh, I am so excited for this next guest.
• 10:41
  SPEAKER_01: I cannot wait.
• 10:42
  SPEAKER_01: This woman is a powerhouse, and oh, I know she's gonna really bring the heat.
• 10:48
  SPEAKER_01: So I hope that you join us then.
• 10:51
  SPEAKER_01: We're gonna continue expanding on these themes of Gemini season, new perspectives, writing, and learning.
• 11:01
  SPEAKER_01: And we'll continue that in our episodes next week.
• 11:06
  SPEAKER_01: Until then, I invite you and encourage you to hold yourself with tenderness and curiosity with grace.
• 11:14
  SPEAKER_01: And may you remember that healing doesn't happen in a straight line, it happens in this gentle rhythm of both and.