Latest / The imuRgency Room / Gen Z Needs To Have More Sex
Transcript
- 0:00It's said that young Americans aged between 18 to 23 were
- 0:03having 14% less casual fix that means outside of a relationship
- 0:08in comparison to those a decade before.
- 0:10Let me tell you why being sullivant and waiting to
- 0:12marriage is the ultimate flex. Like when you get this.
- 0:15Badge When you have this badge and you carry your cross every
- 0:18single. Day and people care like oh you
- 0:20you wait until. Marriage.
- 0:21They look at you different. Say it with me Bettering
- 0:23yourself does not make you better than others.
- 0:26Bettering yourself does not make you better than others.
- 0:29I think we may have taking this celibacy thing too far.
- 0:32Hey guys, it's UPS Emergency and welcome and welcome back to my
- 0:34channel. As feral and freaked out as
- 0:36social media may make it seem, Gen.
- 0:38Z just isn't really doing the nasty anymore.
- 0:40Or at least that's what the streets are saying.
- 0:42You may have seen online discourse about people choosing
- 0:44celibacy, and there does seem to really be a rise in popularity
- 0:47with this movement, with more people talking about it,
- 0:49committing to it, and advocating for it.
- 0:51And as with everything, there are many reasons to this uptick
- 0:54in abstaining from Como City, say, schmexual activity, with
- 0:58some of it being tea and some of it being a little scary.
- 1:02And we're going to talk about all the nuances and thoughts
- 1:05behind that. So sit back, grab a snack, and
- 1:07get ready for some schmuck sad emergency style.
- 1:11Now to get this conversation started, we got to understand
- 1:13that this is not all just online discourse.
- 1:15There are actually studies that prove Gen.
- 1:17Z is having sex less than previous generations.
- 1:19According to data analyzed from a study by the Institute for
- 1:22Family Studies from 2024, weekly sexual activity among US adults
- 1:26aged 18 to 64 fell from 55% in 1990 to 37% in 2024.
- 1:32And that's a whole 18% drop. And this drop doesn't just come
- 1:35from nowhere. There are actual reasons this
- 1:37generation is choosing to have less.
- 1:39And mind you, this may be shocked you're gonna hear a lot
- 1:42of it is by choice. I mean, maybe not for everyone
- 1:45and that's how we get the birth of things like in cells.
- 1:47But for the sake of this video, we're talking about people who
- 1:49are intentionally choosing to be celibate.
- 1:51And as you know, as we like to do on this channel, I did decide
- 1:54to get a little journalistic with it and have done some
- 1:56interviews talking to some of y'all about your thoughts and
- 1:59opinions around Gen. C celibacy and just generally
- 2:01the rest of y'all sick lives. Like, I think we've got a little
- 2:03bit too close to each other at this point.
- 2:05But before we go any further, let's get this out the way
- 2:07first. When we're talking about things
- 2:09like celibacy and abstinence and like withholding yourself or
- 2:12whatever, let's actually figure out is it abstinence or is it
- 2:15celibacy? And is there a difference
- 2:17between the two? Well, yes.
- 2:19And the difference be kicking all of our asses.
- 2:22So let me know if I'm wrong but my current definition of
- 2:26celibacy is a more lasting commitment to not having sex or
- 2:31intimate relationships. And is abstinence being a more
- 2:37temporary one or no? Like let me know if I got that
- 2:40different. Oftentimes these terms are used
- 2:42interchangeably, which contrary to popular belief, they are not
- 2:45exactly the same. Now there are some key
- 2:47differences in the 2 terms, but the Venn diagram circles
- 2:50definitely do be overlapping big time.
- 2:52OK for both celibacy and abstinence, as you may have
- 2:55gathered at this point it is the decision to not engage or
- 2:58abstain from sexual activities. Now As for the biggest
- 3:01difference between the two relates to the amount of time
- 3:04abstinence. While it does sound very
- 3:06antiquated and very like formal and rigid, I'm just thinking
- 3:08like an old timey movie where like they have transatlantic
- 3:11accents and they're like, oh wow, imagine this is a
- 3:13transatlantic accent. Actually, Eustis and Muriel
- 3:16decided to be abstinence A, and I don't believe that.
- 3:18What happened to good old chastity?
- 3:20Anyways, abstinence is typically thought of as being more time
- 3:23bound and that time binding restriction typically revolves
- 3:26around marriage. But as we're going to see, it
- 3:28can also revolve around abstaining for a short term
- 3:31period, like for exams, busy work periods, moments of
- 3:34healing, etcetera, etcetera. Essentially kind of views as
- 3:37like markers of times where you're like locking in and
- 3:40locking out sex. Also when it comes to
- 3:42abstinence, typically you'd see in like old 2000s media a lot of
- 3:45jokes about women being abstinent but still being down a
- 3:48clown in other ways. And like those back door jokes,
- 3:51misogynist clearly, but you know, it was the early 2000s.
- 3:54But this is all to say that abstinence can have flexibility
- 3:57in terms of acts, but still usually abides by the more
- 4:00puritanical belief of saying you're saving yourself in terms
- 4:04of VJ penetration. At least.
- 4:06I'm sorry, there's no other way for me to really phrase this
- 4:09getting around the algorithm. But Vijay, penetration is meant
- 4:12to be for your husband. Spooky.
- 4:14And also fun fact, if you grew up in the US public school
- 4:16system, you may have been taught shrieked abstinence inside the
- 4:20comprehensive schmack said growing up.
- 4:22I know I definitely did. They definitely hammered down
- 4:24abstinence, abstinence, abstinence.
- 4:25But like if you are going to hook up usercon, but like also
- 4:27don't think about that unless you have a husband or a wife and
- 4:29you're ready to conceive, which is absolutely diabolical
- 4:32conditioning. So which at least for me growing
- 4:34up, abstinence did not have the best PR, but now it's a little
- 4:37bit more open. And we contrast this with
- 4:38celibacy which is more of a long term commitment, not really
- 4:41constricted to time or an end date rather.
- 4:44And this isn't to say that you can't call yourself celibate
- 4:46unless you've been abstaining for like X amount of time.
- 4:49But I do feel like the term celibacy has gained more
- 4:51popularity or PR if you will, especially recently as people
- 4:54are deciding to not have for various reasons, which we are
- 4:57going to get into. But like there also just seems
- 4:58to be a more spiritual and like personal growth connotation when
- 5:02it comes to celibacy versus a religious one for things like
- 5:05abstinence. Although through talking to
- 5:06people it seems like there is a religious undertone or at least
- 5:09a religious feeling traditionally with both terms.
- 5:12But in terms of celibacy, I feel like before now the main way
- 5:14celibacy was in the cultural zeitgeist was through the term
- 5:17incel, meaning involuntarily celibate, simply meaning that
- 5:20someone is celibate but not because they want to be
- 5:22abstaining. Essentially a guy or girl that
- 5:24can't pull right. So I feel at least celibacy
- 5:27carried a little bit of that connotation for a while, but as
- 5:30of recently that isn't the case. And of course, everything is up
- 5:33to personal choice and what boundaries you have regarding
- 5:35your celibacy or abstinence are really up to you as an
- 5:38individual. Like no one's calling the FBI to
- 5:40send the nukes on you because you've been two months celibate.
- 5:42Now. When I asked everyone that I
- 5:43interviewed where they fall on like the celibacy to abstinence
- 5:46to neither spectrum, most of them said this.
- 5:49I would consider myself abstinent for sure.
- 5:51I would consider myself abstinent, not celibate.
- 5:55I think I'm currently more abstinent than celibate.
- 5:58I don't really consider myself by any labels.
- 6:02I'm open to having sex if I find someone I want to have it with,
- 6:06but that just hasn't happened yet.
- 6:09I would say abstinence. I took a abstinence pledge and I
- 6:12had a ring too, when I was younger.
- 6:13When I was a teenager I took an abstinence pledge to not indulge
- 6:17into a marriage and so I will say abstinence because I want to
- 6:20eventually do it again, but hopefully with my husband, if
- 6:24that makes sense. And I just found it so
- 6:25interesting that most of them consider themselves to be
- 6:27abstinent for varying lengths of time and for various reasons,
- 6:30and that the confusion around the terms of celibacy and
- 6:33abstinence are also still definitely there for all of us,
- 6:36despite how we like to label it. And of course, the small sample
- 6:39size of people, while wonderful and amazing, aren't the complete
- 6:42picture of all of Gen. Z.
- 6:43It's still an interesting indication for where sentiments
- 6:45widely are around it. Gen.
- 6:47Z, based on the studies based Sunday articles and by the
- 6:50people that I interviewed, by and large are abstaining from
- 6:52intimacy. Now the $1,000,000 question is
- 6:54why? As someone that talks about Gen.
- 7:01Z culture a lot, it just seems that our generation is in a
- 7:04recession of everything. God damn.
- 7:08Like who would have thought we'd be in an intimacy recession too?
- 7:10But in all seriousness, I think when you put your thinking cap
- 7:12on and pull out that thought daughter journal, yes thought
- 7:15daughter, and no, not that kind of thought thought daughter.
- 7:17OK, it all makes sense in the end.
- 7:19Everything's connected to each other and I think our generation
- 7:21is increasingly aware of that. The hardships, the political
- 7:24involvement, having the freedom to choose.
- 7:25There are many reasons for why people are choosing to abstain
- 7:28from having intimacy. You're having sex.
- 7:30And for the sake of this video we've boiled it down to a few
- 7:32things starting strong with one of those first things being
- 7:35self-care and politics. Undeniably Gen.
- 7:37Z has been a very politically forward generation.
- 7:40I think Gen. Z practices their political
- 7:41beliefs more so than previous gens for sure.
- 7:44Not to get in our high horse but like we grew up watching and
- 7:47attending some of the largest political protests multiple
- 7:50times over the course of our lives.
- 7:51Like think BLM, March for our lives, Women's March to bring it
- 7:54more recently, No Kings Part 1 and 2 just to name a few.
- 7:57According to the Guardian, more than 60% of 18 to 29 year olds
- 8:00lead left and around 1/4 of Gen. Z identify as LGBTQ.
- 8:04Plus, depending on who you ask and how you ask the question,
- 8:06they are also increasingly secular.
- 8:08Gen. Z women might just be the most
- 8:10progressive cohort ever documented in U.S. history.
- 8:13Since 2008, they have veered hard to the left on issues such
- 8:16as the environment, gun role, and abortion.
- 8:18Meanwhile, 56% of young male voters backed accused SEC Donald
- 8:23Trump in the 2024 election. They mean Gen.
- 8:25Z have an unparalleled ability to infuse that political
- 8:28meaning. Compared to the generation's
- 8:30Gen. Z, adults are more likely to
- 8:31have attended a rally, volunteered, or posted online
- 8:34about a social issue that mattered to them.
- 8:35When Trump defeated Harris, left-leaning young people
- 8:37immediately converted their political fury into personal
- 8:40action, namely posing a SEC in the vein of the feminist South
- 8:43Korean 4B movement. If women are increasingly
- 8:46left-leaning, I mean as they probably should, and men are
- 8:49increasingly swinging, right, and you mix that together with
- 8:51people that stand on business, then you at least have a
- 8:53percentage of people having less sex.
- 8:55Because why would you F with someone that doesn't F with you?
- 8:58You know, Or at least like you're right to exist.
- 9:00It's kind of like the old adage, like you may need that, but
- 9:02like, does that need you? You just made that up and did.
- 9:07Now, am I saying that this is the whole reason for the
- 9:10hunching disparity? Absolutely not.
- 9:12But I do think when a person has a different set of values,
- 9:14especially when as drastic as like not thinking you deserve
- 9:16the right to vote, exist or have the same amount of rights and
- 9:19freedoms, then that does make the situation a little less
- 9:21sexy. I mean, unless you have like a
- 9:22degrading king, but even then there are some boundaries there
- 9:25that are getting crossed. And an important part of this
- 9:27whole conversation that I saw a lot in the comments of a TikTok
- 9:30video that I've made on this very same topic is that in a
- 9:32post Roe V Wade world, heterosexual women, or at least
- 9:35like women who also date men, see hookup culture as a high
- 9:38risk, low reward situation. Especially when you consider the
- 9:41current dating scene and the stats of men that support the
- 9:44removal of women's bodily autonomy.
- 9:45I think it's interesting, Roe V Wade was overturned when I was
- 9:48like 1516, so right when I was like, actually starting to like
- 9:52have more intimate relationships with people.
- 9:55Somehow I'm still in a very like high school ish environment.
- 9:58Like I'm people always say like, Oh my God, you're like so anti
- 10:02men or like they question like my sexuality and if I'm straight
- 10:05because of like some of my views.
- 10:06Sometimes like people are like, oh, you just haven't experienced
- 10:09love enough to make you do something someone wants.
- 10:12But I don't know. Sometimes I'm like, maybe my
- 10:13belief system is just so strong and I'm just so like confident
- 10:16in what I think because I'm a very stubborn person.
- 10:19So you can't make me do what I don't want to do.
- 10:22So I think that has just played into like my sex 5/2 in the
- 10:26sense that like if there any red flags, I'm quick to be like, you
- 10:29know, people say like I'm very strict.
- 10:31Like I'm quick to be like, OK, yeah, I know that's wrong.
- 10:33Bye. Like I'm not doing this.
- 10:35Like maybe on my part, that's also kind of bad because I'm
- 10:38like no conversation, nothing. I'm just like, nice meeting you,
- 10:41but no thanks. I suppose.
- 10:42Like maybe he's good, but just this one thing.
- 10:45Yeah, I know. If it's not all good for me, I'm
- 10:47like checked out. We're in a generation where
- 10:49women have had the most resources, abilities to be
- 10:52financially independent and not needing to rely on a man as a
- 10:55partner. Women don't need a man for sheer
- 10:57survival and to progress in life.
- 10:58In a previous video about Gen. Z not wanting kids, we briefly
- 11:01went over women's rights increasing that have yet to be
- 11:03taken away with increased rights like the equal credit
- 11:05opportunity Act in 1974 allowing women most only white women at
- 11:09the time to get their own credit lines and all the likes which
- 11:12would enable them to buy their own stuff and property.
- 11:14Before this, a man had to be part of the equation like.
- 11:17I was never raised with like that guilt around sex.
- 11:20However, I was always raised with the knowledge that sex is a
- 11:24very intimate act and to engage in something with someone, you
- 11:28want to be able to trust that person.
- 11:30And I think just over time, I'm like, I've almost grown jaded
- 11:35with like my experiences with feeling respected by different
- 11:39individuals and feeling like, oh, this is not the respect that
- 11:43you imagine be much more common amongst humans isn't always
- 11:46there. So I'm like, it made me view sex
- 11:50as more of like a sacred thing in a way, because I'm like, I
- 11:54don't want to just find someone who's like, disrespecting me.
- 11:58Who's? Like going to, if I send
- 12:01pictures, if I don't trust that, they're not going to share that
- 12:03to other people. So that's definitely been like
- 12:07an evolution over the past couple of years.
- 12:09Now this progress that we've gotten over the years does not
- 12:12mean that all barriers and challenges have been removed
- 12:14from women, just that there has been a needle pushing progress
- 12:17and now women don't have to choose between husband and kids
- 12:20were covenant. Not surprising, but women can be
- 12:22their own people. And because women don't have to
- 12:24be with men for their life's progression anymore, this is
- 12:26factored into the dating culture women by high percentage.
- 12:28And I'm not saying that this doesn't happen to men too.
- 12:30It definitely does run the risk of being assaulted, which is an
- 12:32ugly thing to just have to accept, like that one seed in
- 12:34the materialist where the matchmaker just kind of goes
- 12:36like, well, yeah, she got a. That's just the risk you run
- 12:39when you're a woman that's dating.
- 12:40And I think it's becoming a more common sentiment amongst women
- 12:42to want to reduce that risk of meeting strangers they don't
- 12:44know that could hurt them. Like not that being that could
- 12:46ever be the victim's fault, but women want to reduce their
- 12:48chances of being in an isolated situation with a man that could
- 12:51potentially harm them. I think like my absence has
- 12:54always been like self-imposed. Like I've never been like, oh,
- 12:57I'm going absent for a goal or for a reason.
- 12:59It solely was just like, I mean mainly safety, like safety,
- 13:04respect, all that shit I've said a million times, right, But I'm
- 13:08like for me to break it, I'd have to trust someone with like
- 13:12that intimacy and that like experience because I just I'm
- 13:18like, that's a pretty like large thing for some people in some
- 13:22situations for sure. I think another aspect of this
- 13:24is that we also live in a time where the Internet is filled
- 13:27with gender wars, and specifically gender wars content
- 13:29that's polarizing both men and women in vastly different
- 13:31directions. We've talked about the state of
- 13:33Gen. Z dating many times before, but
- 13:34this just seems like another Ave. where we're seeing this
- 13:36take place. Then we move to the dumorism and
- 13:39the libido of it all. Then another hypothesis as to
- 13:41why Gen. Z is the second generation has
- 13:43to do with dumorism and the lack of libido from having your life
- 13:47be under threat all the time. The researcher from the survey
- 13:49we mentioned before attributes that 18% drop in the lack of
- 13:52Schmack's to two things. They point to cohabitation in
- 13:55social time being significantly lower for previous generations,
- 13:58noting young adults aged 18 to 29 living with partners dropped
- 14:01from 42% to 32% between 2014 and 2024, while average weekly
- 14:06social time fell from 12.8 hours in 2010 to 6.5 hours in 2019,
- 14:10then to just five hours by 2024. Now.
- 14:13The study says less people live with their partners in this
- 14:15generation. And I'm going to speculate for a
- 14:17second and remind y'all shout out to that one housing video
- 14:20that roughly about 1/3 of Gen. Z still lives with their
- 14:23parents. Remember when I said
- 14:24everything's connected? Gen.
- 14:25Z's trajectory given external circumstances are showing in the
- 14:28lowering of the percentage of common milestones.
- 14:30For example, moving out of your parents place, an inn with a
- 14:33partner. And of course for a percentage
- 14:34of people, they choose not to live with their partners.
- 14:36And that's also fair. And I do want to say, except I
- 14:38see people in the comments, yes, it is possible to get a little
- 14:41frisky in your parents house because some of y'all, I would
- 14:43just feel like that. But I do feel like that fact to
- 14:45reduce the spaces for you to be intimate and casual with people.
- 14:48Also, the reduction of social time fell by 7 hours weekly 7
- 14:52hours. Seven days away.
- 14:58I don't know what possessed me. It's not seven days a week, 7
- 15:00hours weekly. So let's do some math really
- 15:02quick. If Gen.
- 15:03Z only spends 5 hours of their whole week, 180 hours that whole
- 15:08week being 168 hours by the way. But again, if they only spend 5
- 15:11hours of that whole week socializing, that includes
- 15:13things like hanging out, getting to do what you like, and seeing
- 15:16friends that just might cut the time allotted for sexy time.
- 15:19I don't know like I'll be saying time is money.
- 15:21Well, in that case, it seems like sexy time is going in the
- 15:23budget cuts. OK.
- 15:24And not that it necessarily does cut into that time, but it
- 15:27definitely does mean that we just have less time and less
- 15:29energy for it. And at least in my echo
- 15:31chambers, there's been a lot of conversations around reframing
- 15:34perspectives to decenter men or just the general potential of a
- 15:37partner in their lives and instead focusing on centering
- 15:40themselves and building that connection to themselves, their
- 15:42friends and loved ones. And if you're raised as a woman,
- 15:45it's no secret that day one messaging was that you should be
- 15:47catering to a man thinking through their lens, which
- 15:49essentially raises that internalized male gaze in your
- 15:52head. And I do think it's a practice
- 15:53to unlearn this, and I'm glad that it's becoming a more
- 15:55normalized conversation amongst women.
- 15:57And also just like experiences I've heard of like friends
- 16:00around me, like I see what happens with like my friends and
- 16:02people I know all the time when they like, like people like
- 16:06cheat on them and you like take them back.
- 16:08Like, I mean, there's so many like layers to this dynamics.
- 16:11And obviously like everyone is allowed to do what they want to
- 16:14do and what makes them happy and what they're comfortable with.
- 16:16But at the same time, it kind of like influences, like your
- 16:19decision making because you're just like, I love her to death,
- 16:23but I don't want to be that person.
- 16:24Like I don't want to be that person taking back this combat
- 16:27sheet in X and getting like an STI every other week.
- 16:30Like I'm so not ready for that. Like I can't.
- 16:33So now we got to talk about the biggie, the big part in this
- 16:36celibacy conversation, that one of the bigger underlying reasons
- 16:38behind why Gen. Z is abstaining from having
- 16:41intercourse. And that's the role of purity
- 16:43culture and how it may be affecting our sexual behaviors.
- 16:46Yes, the good old section where we got to mention the rise of
- 16:49conservatism. You know, we love to do it on
- 16:51this channel. Then again, everything is just
- 16:53so connected, from trout wives to nuclear family propaganda.
- 16:56It seems like the good old days of girl boss feminism are dead.
- 17:00And I'm begging us to please bring back 2016.
- 17:02Please. It just seems that many people
- 17:04of our generation are going back to those more traditional
- 17:07values, and their absence in celibacy stems from that place
- 17:10of purity culture. And when it comes to the
- 17:11conversation of celibacy, it is important to know the difference
- 17:14between celibacy and purity culture.
- 17:16I have a. Lot of thoughts about this
- 17:17because I don't think it's a coincidence that we're seeing
- 17:18this as we're seeing a rise in traditional values amongst Gen.
- 17:21Z Obviously there's severe political implications there,
- 17:24but there's also the fact that Gen.
- 17:25Z right now is the loneliest, most isolated generation in all
- 17:28of history. Do you know how bad that is for
- 17:31your health, physical and mental?
- 17:32According to the Surgeon General, loneliness negatively
- 17:34impacts your heart in the same way threat addiction does.
- 17:36OK, Like cutting all of your friends off to protect your
- 17:39peace and respect your boundaries and like, not going
- 17:42out because everybody's making terrible decisions for the
- 17:45health is like really not making you as healthy as you think it
- 17:48is. And like, it's your journey,
- 17:50babe. But like, don't judge other
- 17:51people who seem to be healthy and happy, you know what I'm
- 17:54saying? My point is, it's coerced.
- 17:56By the way. To me, it is obvious that purity
- 17:57culture is just patriarchy. Men controlling women's bodies.
- 18:01Let's say you don't like hookup culture.
- 18:02That's fine. You can make that decision
- 18:04because you are an adult that has bodily autonomy.
- 18:07You can give consent or choose not to give consent in this
- 18:10case, because it is your fundamental right to decide what
- 18:12happens to your body. No one could tell you how to
- 18:15exercise that right. That includes religious leaders.
- 18:18I am an emotional person as well.
- 18:19I'm a sexual and emotional being.
- 18:22You're allowed to like hold multiple truths at one time.
- 18:26That's being a human being. But this idea that like being
- 18:30like just. Immediate like y'all can keep.
- 18:33That shame Actually don't. I would encourage you to rid
- 18:36yourself of the shame that immediately comes with.
- 18:38Like being pleasure is allowed to be the end goal.
- 18:42Again, everyone can do what they want.
- 18:44It's just that the purity culture to alt right pipeline is
- 18:46just a hop skip and jump away. The whole narrative around
- 18:48thinking there's a definitive wrong way to practice or not
- 18:51practice in this case your sexuality gets tricky seeing
- 18:53things like abstinence as pure and having sex dirty.
- 18:56Like are we seeing the trajectory we're on here?
- 18:58I for one thought we were really past this mentality and that's
- 19:01because purity culture by and large is rooted in patriarchy.
- 19:04And I think it's worth reflecting on that if that's how
- 19:06you align yourself, especially when it comes to refraining from
- 19:08things in the name of shame and guilt in saving yourself from
- 19:11whoever is something that's worth interrogating.
- 19:13We don't like to talk about this often, but it is important to
- 19:15say that like seeing yourself in your body as a reward kind of
- 19:18gets into self objectification territory.
- 19:20Like of course you should have self worth and think of yourself
- 19:23highly, but quite literally think of yourself as a trophy
- 19:25that needs to be won. Like, let's just think about the
- 19:28optics of that. I think that there's a very
- 19:30large demonization of and there's a demonization of
- 19:34choosing your main absent or sell it.
- 19:36And I think a big thing that I had to learn is you're damned if
- 19:39you're do, you're damned if you don't.
- 19:41You know, just because someone says something doesn't mean you
- 19:44should do it. And it's important, especially
- 19:48with stuff so personal with sex, like to find your own guide
- 19:52about what feels right for you. And if engaging with someone
- 19:55doesn't go right, you shouldn't. Even if people are like, like
- 19:59you're following like Christian propaganda, whatever.
- 20:02Like don't do it. Same thing, don't somewhat like
- 20:06don't abstain from sex just because you feel like you
- 20:08should. That's a personal decision
- 20:10between two consenting parties and.
- 20:13It's OK to not want something if you feel pressured otherwise.
- 20:17And again, just to clarify, not all people who are celibate
- 20:19believe this, but when there is rhetoric being spread on TikTok
- 20:21that you have to save yourself and keep yourself clean for
- 20:24marriage. When we go back to a culture
- 20:25that normalizes the objectification of a person and
- 20:27historically the idea of pure and dirty have never let
- 20:31anywhere good let's. Say, when it comes to purity and
- 20:33how I view it, I, I think I don't view people as being dirty
- 20:39or clean or anything like that. I think when it comes to me and
- 20:43my problems and frustration with like hookup culture and just cat
- 20:47the casualness of I think it feels very bad and wrong to me
- 20:53that it it kind of lost that spirituality and reference that
- 20:57I think it should have. So I don't really consider it as
- 21:00like if someone chooses to sleep with how many partners they
- 21:03want, that's kind of their own business.
- 21:05I don't really care. As long as it's a consenting
- 21:07adult, I don't really care. I think where I kind of look at
- 21:12it sideways is when you kind of lose the reference and respect
- 21:17and the spirituality that I think comes with that people
- 21:23just kind of kind of wave away nowadays.
- 21:25I think that's where I like have problems with it kind of per SE.
- 21:31So I don't think it has anything to do with how I view people
- 21:34purity. I think it, I think I view it in
- 21:37a more deeper lens with how people treat it and how deeply
- 21:43people feel connected to something.
- 21:45I think it's so transcendental and it's such a big part of the
- 21:48human experience and just kind of wave it off or treat it like
- 21:52as a chore to check off a box or anything like that.
- 21:55Like all this purity stuff gets dangerously close to language of
- 21:57like high value women or high value man, which in case you
- 22:00didn't know are just dog whistles for red pill behavior,
- 22:02which is already an extreme Christian behavior.
- 22:04And again, I have to make a disclaimer, this isn't an attack
- 22:07on religion but more so the extremist version of it.
- 22:10Like if you ever find yourself using fresh and fit vocabulary,
- 22:12even ironically, just know you're starting to lose the
- 22:14plot. Now we've been talking a lot
- 22:15about straight relationship or at least heterosexual
- 22:17relationships. What about the gays?
- 22:19Because I feel like we get bad PR when it comes.
- 22:21I thought there's always this stigma, especially in the gay
- 22:24community that everyone is just going to bring each other Willy
- 22:27nilly. I'm so sorry all, I had to paint
- 22:32the picture. But that may not actually be
- 22:34true now. There's not many actual stats or
- 22:37studies on the difference between St. and queer people and
- 22:39their differences in sexual activity right now for many
- 22:42different reasons. But there is some speculation
- 22:44that the celibacy or at least abstinence movement has gained
- 22:46traction in the queer community as well.
- 22:47This article from the Gay Times from 2024 talks about that
- 22:50moment online where gays were going boy sober or girl sober,
- 22:52essentially abstaining from engaging in sex activity.
- 22:54And the article actually interviews many different people
- 22:56and most of them, if not all of them site wanting to reflect on
- 22:59their relationship with sex and and boundaries and wanted to
- 23:02take that moment for personal growth.
- 23:03And at least anecdotally from people in my life, the whole
- 23:05concept of abstinence seems to be a growing lifestyle choice.
- 23:08Now let's take a beat and talk about something very similar but
- 23:10different. This little side section that
- 23:12I'd like to call the fall of RL and the rise of online set.
- 23:15I feel like I've been wanting to talk about this for a while and
- 23:17it might need to be its own video, but I just wanted to have
- 23:19a little quick side note on how we might not be having as much
- 23:21intercourse in real life. We are somehow also at the same
- 23:25time seemingly more freaked out than ever online.
- 23:27And I think unfortunately, the main factor for this is going to
- 23:30make me seem like a Mormon mother on a Sunday.
- 23:32But in a very real way, porn has routed our brains.
- 23:36Like, there are many studies to this.
- 23:37And now more than ever, we've been seeing sexual content, or
- 23:40at least sexual adjacent content become commonplace online, but
- 23:44even more so in places that it hasn't traditionally been.
- 23:46Like there has been a significant rise in gooner
- 23:49content or just sanitized content and pretty much all
- 23:52aspects of social media, whether you're looking for it or not.
- 23:53So apparently the Instagram reels.
- 23:56Algorithm is constantly pushing gooner content onto young men.
- 24:00On Instagram. According to a very popular
- 24:02video on here. And if you were ever.
- 24:04Wondering why a platform might do this?
- 24:06The answer is pretty simple. Gooning turns you into a good
- 24:10capitalist. Like, you can lie and clutch
- 24:12your pearls and say you haven't seen it, but it's so pervasive
- 24:15everywhere online, whether that's on like random Instagram
- 24:17Reels, Tik Toks, Twitter, just in regular ads, YouTube Shorts,
- 24:20like YouTube thumbnails. It is everywhere and for
- 24:23everybody. And it's become so normalized on
- 24:25our screens, in our society and in our media.
- 24:28Like literally just take a few swipes on any social media app
- 24:30and you're bound to see something suggestive or
- 24:32suggestive adjacent. And the thing about this kind of
- 24:34content is that it does well on all of these platforms.
- 24:37Like I for when I've seen too many tips on TikTok before y'all
- 24:40start coming for me saying they're like, oh, it's called
- 24:43the for you page. I promise you it's not because
- 24:45I'm looking for them. Like relax.
- 24:47And again, this is getting a little bit off base and this
- 24:49isn't me being like, oh, purity. And this could be its own video
- 24:51in its entirety. But I bring this up not to shame
- 24:54sexuality, but to show that people seem to be more freaked
- 24:56out when consuming and participating in discourse.
- 24:59But I have so much less interaction with it in real
- 25:01life, or at least tangibly. Like it begs the question, like
- 25:04if a freak is freaked out online, did it really make a
- 25:06sound in the IRL forest? I'm sorry.
- 25:08That joke was one that my researcher wrote.
- 25:10I had to include it. I'm sorry.
- 25:12Now, finally, to wrap up this conversation around like
- 25:14celibacy, purity, and Gen. ZI wanted to touch on some of
- 25:17the external pressures coming from society and media around
- 25:20our site as Gen. Z.
- 25:21Many articles and stories have swirled around the zeitgeist
- 25:24claiming Gen. Z to be the selfless generation,
- 25:26citing things like the decline of the birth rate, the rates of
- 25:29socialization, and alcohol use being reasons behind why Gen.
- 25:32Z just can't fuck. And to that I say, why are we
- 25:36framing this as a bad thing? Why do they care so much like?
- 25:42It's not, it's not like you. There's like, like fears.
- 25:46Of like population, like decreasing, you know, like the
- 25:50growth of population decreasing. And it's like, there's already 8
- 25:55billion people on this earth. Why do we need more?
- 25:59Like, why are we all in our business like that?
- 26:00As Alexis said earlier, it's damned if we do, damned if we
- 26:02don't. There doesn't seem to be any
- 26:04kind of middle ground here. Gen.
- 26:05Z is either a bunch of antisocial prudes who aren't
- 26:07doing it, or just overly freaked out and immoral.
- 26:09We are erasing the nuance here in the very real reasonings
- 26:12behind why people across the board are choosing to abstain
- 26:14from having intercourse, as well as ignoring the fact that people
- 26:17are shockingly still also having intercourse and choosing to do
- 26:21that when and with whom they want to, especially when they
- 26:24feel respected and cared for. I'm not willing to, like,
- 26:27sacrifice my sanity and my secrecy because of what
- 26:32everybody said. They're also saying we're not
- 26:33having kids like that. It's like who might be having
- 26:35kids now but like, wait till we get older and be ready for that,
- 26:38you know? Because.
- 26:40We're, you know, we have the baby boomer generation and then
- 26:43it's it's like a lot of us are popping out kids and that's
- 26:46fine. But it's just like I feel
- 26:48pressured by the kids because I love babies, but not enough to
- 26:52where I'm from. Like, OK, let me just open my
- 26:54legs. Go pop up kids now.
- 26:55Like I don't think there should be a stigma either way, as long
- 26:57as everyone involved is consenting and not harming
- 26:59anybody. And to the older generations
- 27:01that are deeply in our business, I would really, really hate to
- 27:05wake up y'all's tea. No, I wouldn't about how the
- 27:07real reason behind why there's such a concern over Gen.
- 27:09Z having sex is that it's just a giant cover for like the ultra
- 27:12conservative white replacement theory.
- 27:14And the fear is not exclusively that Gen.
- 27:16Z as a whole is not having kids. It's that young white people are
- 27:18not having enough sex, having enough kids to keep white people
- 27:21in the majority. And we can see that that's very
- 27:22clearly the case by looking at what policies are being enacted
- 27:25right now and what specific rights people are fighting to
- 27:27roll back. But yeah, let's just say that
- 27:29it's because y'all are afraid of potential declining birth rates,
- 27:32right? Regardless, as a young person
- 27:34right now, you shouldn't feel pressured to do or not do
- 27:36anything you don't personally feel comfortable with.
- 27:38More ready for when it comes to set.
- 27:40I would say kind of a bit of advice that I wish someone told
- 27:44me when I was younger is don't feel pressured to do something
- 27:48that you're not ready for when you're not ready for it.
- 27:51You should treat physical intimacy with a partner with
- 27:55respect and it is a chance for you to learn about yourself and
- 28:00your partner. So take that with the weight
- 28:04that it deserves and I would say just be respectful all around
- 28:09and don't, you don't have to do anything that you're you don't
- 28:11want to do. And to wrap up, there was a
- 28:13moment in time a couple years ago where people thought that
- 28:15hookup culture was sex operation.
- 28:17And Fast forward to right now, more and more Gen.
- 28:19Z ers are choosing celibacy or abstinence.
- 28:21Is this a bad thing or a full 180 turn?
- 28:23I think that's up to the beholder.
- 28:24But ultimately I think that choosing what feels right and is
- 28:27best for you with no judgement from others is true sex
- 28:30operation. Like as long as you're minding
- 28:31your business and not describing you some kind of purity standard
- 28:34and implying it's everyone else, at the end of the day it's just
- 28:36about doing what you want and doing who you want safely and
- 28:39consensually.