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Is Love Enough For MARRIAGE - Before Saying " I DO " · If Bibles Could Talk

• 0:00
  Speaker 1: Imagine spending like $ 30, 000 and an entire year preparing for
• 0:04
  Speaker 1: a single job interview, but spending absolutely zero hours preparing
• 0:09
  Speaker 1: to actually do the job.
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  Speaker 2: Yeah. I mean, that sounds completely wild, but that is
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  Speaker 2: exactly how modern culture approaches marriage. Right.
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  Speaker 1: Welcome to today's deep dive. We're looking at an excerpt
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  Speaker 1: called True Meaning of Marriage. And our mission today is
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  Speaker 1: really to contrast our modern obsession with the wedding ceremony
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  Speaker 1: and against ancient biblical texts that define what a lifelong
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  Speaker 1: commitment actually takes.
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  Speaker 2: Because we really do treat the wedding day like the
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  Speaker 2: finish line rather than the starting block. You know, it's
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  Speaker 2: all about the flowers, the outfits, the catering.
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  Speaker 1: Exactly. I kind of think about modern romance like house hunting.
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  Speaker 1: Being in love or that initial attraction, that is just
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  Speaker 1: the curb appeal. It gets you to walk through the
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  Speaker 1: front door.
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  Speaker 2: Right, but you don't live in the curb appeal.
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  Speaker 1: You live in the house. So what happens when the
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  Speaker 1: boiler breaks or the roof leaks and you actually have
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  Speaker 1: to maintain that structure?
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  Speaker 2: Well, that structure is really what Genesis chapter 2 establishes.
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  Speaker 1: Wait, the part about it not being good for man
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  Speaker 1: to be alone?
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  Speaker 2: Yeah, exactly. But it completely redefines companionship. It describes a
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  Speaker 2: man leaving his parents, holding fast to his wife, and
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  Speaker 2: the two becoming one flesh.
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  Speaker 1: One flesh. I mean, it sounds poetic, maybe a little archaic.
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  Speaker 1: If we drop the theology for a second, what does
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  Speaker 1: that actually look like for a couple today? Mechanically.
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  Speaker 2: It basically means you just no longer operate as independent contractors.
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  Speaker 1: Right.
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  Speaker 2: You don't have separate bank accounts of emotional energy. There
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  Speaker 2: are no separate scorecards. You are structurally one entity.
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  Speaker 1: So if your partner is hurting, the whole body is hurting. Exactly.
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  Speaker 2: It elevates marriage from being this purely emotional experience based
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  Speaker 2: on physical attraction to And turns it into an immovable
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  Speaker 2: structural unity.
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  Speaker 1: I hear that. But, you know, words like sacrifice and
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  Speaker 1: structural unity, those are really tough cells today.
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  Speaker 2: Oh, for sure.
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  Speaker 1: Modern culture, I mean, every movie, every dating app tells
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  Speaker 1: us marriage should be about self-fulfillment. It's about finding the
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  Speaker 1: person who makes you happy. So, okay, let's unpack this.
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  Speaker 1: Doesn't this ancient biblical model sound a bit oppressive to
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  Speaker 1: a modern ear?
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  Speaker 2: Well, especially when you get into the text from Ephesians
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  Speaker 2: chapter 5.
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  Speaker 1: Right, the ones calling for partners to submit to one another.
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  Speaker 1: That word submission carries a ton of baggage.
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  Speaker 2: It really does. It sounds oppressive if you view it
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  Speaker 2: through a modern individualistic lens where submission just means losing
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  Speaker 2: your autonomy. But the text is actually calling for mutual responsibility.
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  Speaker 1: Mutual, meaning both sides.
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  Speaker 2: Yes. It challenges husbands to love their wives as Christ
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  Speaker 2: loved the church. And in that historical and theological context,
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  Speaker 2: that means ultimate sacrifice, like literally being willing to give
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  Speaker 2: up your life.
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  Speaker 1: OK, so it is definitely not about one person just
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  Speaker 1: yielding to whatever the other person demands.
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  Speaker 2: No, far from it. Think about the actual mechanism of
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  Speaker 2: mutual submission. If both parties are actively prioritizing the other
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  Speaker 2: person's needs over their own, well, the leaky roof gets
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  Speaker 2: fixed because nobody is waiting for the other person to
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  Speaker 2: do it.
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  Speaker 1: Oh, well, so the transactional scorecard just completely disappears. Exactly.
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  Speaker 2: It is the absolute antithesis of a consumer mindset where
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  Speaker 2: you like only stay as long as your personal needs
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  Speaker 2: are perfectly met.
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  Speaker 1: But you can't really test your ability to sacrifice while
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  Speaker 1: you are, you know, tasting cake samples and picking out
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  Speaker 1: a DJ.
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  Speaker 2: No, you definitely can't.
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  Speaker 1: Which completely explains why so many young couples hit a
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  Speaker 1: wall the second real life starts. The skills you need
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  Speaker 1: to throw a great party are just not the skills
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  Speaker 1: you need to sustain a partnership.
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  Speaker 2: Right. And that is a huge point because true marriage
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  Speaker 2: demands this intense level of mutual sacrifice. Focusing solely on
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  Speaker 2: the wedding day actively distracts couples.
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  Speaker 1: Distracts them from what?
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  Speaker 2: From the vital, usually really uncomfortable conversations they should be
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  Speaker 2: having instead. Topics like how they will handle money, whether
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  Speaker 2: they want kids, how they manage conflict. And, you know,
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  Speaker 2: what deeply held personal values will guide their home.
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  Speaker 1: The actual building blocks of the relationship. Yeah.
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  Speaker 2: Attraction brings two people together, but it takes deliberate, often
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  Speaker 2: painful alignment on those heavy topics to actually sustain that
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  Speaker 2: one flesh structure.
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  Speaker 1: So whether you listening right now are already married, flying solo,
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  Speaker 1: or RSVPing to your third wedding this summer, these texts
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  Speaker 1: offer a pretty radical reframe.
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  Speaker 2: They really do.
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  Speaker 1: They take romantic commitment out of this consumer mindset of
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  Speaker 1: just being in love and place it firmly in the
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  Speaker 1: reality of doing the hard, deeply unglamorous work to build
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  Speaker 1: a shared life.
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  Speaker 2: It shifts the fundamental question of a relationship from, you know,
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  Speaker 2: will this person make me happy to are we prepared
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  Speaker 2: to sacrifice for each other?
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  Speaker 1: That is such a profound shift.
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  Speaker 2: Which circles us back to a specific requirement from Genesis
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  Speaker 2: we mentioned earlier, a man leaving his father and mother
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  Speaker 2: to form this new bond. Right.
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  Speaker 1: If a lasting marriage requires dismantling your old family structure
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  Speaker 1: to build a new one, How might navigating those old
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  Speaker 1: family expectations be the very first true test of whether
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  Speaker 1: you're ready to look past the wedding day curb appeal
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  Speaker 1: and actually start building?