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Do Narcissists ever run out of narcissistic supply? · The Mental Healness Podcast

• 0:01
  So do narcissist ever, ever run out of narcissistic supply?
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  That sweet, sweet external validation?
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  Does it ever go away? Does a narcissist supply chamber
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  supply cup ever run out? That's what we talked about
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  today, y'all, Of course, if you're new here, my name is Lee
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  Hammock. I'm a diagnosed narcissist and
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  welcome to another episode of the Narcissist Code.
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  And also we'll hop right into it.
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  Yeah, I actually did a live on this the other day about
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  narcissistic supply and how narcissistic people are always
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  seeking external validation. We need it.
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  The reason narcissists seek external validation is because
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  we need it. We need the external validation,
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  the external reassurance. We need to know from other
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  people that we matter, that we are valid, that we are
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  important. That's why the external
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  validation is the narcissistic supply, better known as it's so
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  important to narcissists. We absolutely have to have it,
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  right? It's kind of like like a plant,
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  right? Like a little, like a little a
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  plant, right? Plants need the sun to grow.
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  Well, most plants need the sun in order to grow through
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  photosynthesis. So just imagine that
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  narcissistic person in your life, the little narc.
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  The little narc Fern is a Fern, right?
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  The little narcissistic Fern. The sun is supply.
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  If the sun goes away, we wither and die, right?
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  At least most. At least that's what happens to
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  most plants, right? Like some plants just grow in
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  dark, damp, moist places, right? But they still need some sorts.
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  They, they have some sort of energy, external energy.
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  They need it from somewhere else.
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  But narcissistic people can be like plants where they get
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  supply from one main source, the sun, but they can also get it
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  other places. So do narcissists ever run out
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  of supply the pot? Yes, some of them absolutely
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  will. The possibility exists that
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  narcissists will run out of supply.
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  Like let's just say I'm young or whatever as I'm my 20, I'm 25
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  years old, right? I'm a decently looking person.
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  I get supply for my looks, right?
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  I get, I get supplied for being externally, you know, for being
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  more conventionally. I'm not talking about me, but
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  like being conventionally attractive.
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  I get supply from that. I get validation.
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  People always telling me I'm beautiful or handsome or
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  whatever the case may be. As I get old, as I get older and
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  that starts to fade, I no longer get that type of supply.
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  So where else will I get it from, right?
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  I have to shift. Either I shift or adapt or I
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  perish. So I have to shift into finding
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  another way to get narcissistic supply, into finding another way
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  to getting that external validation, or to getting to get
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  something from elsewhere. So if I can't get it off of
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  looks, guess what else I might try to do?
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  I might try to get my money up, right?
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  Because if I get my money up, as we all know, if I get my money
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  up, I can get external validation even if I have to pay
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  for it, right? Even if I have to pay for
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  external validation, I'm still going to get it.
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  That's why you see a lot of times I spoke to AI spoke to a
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  young lady about this the other day in a coaching session,
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  mental illness.net for those and, and she was saying like,
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  why does my narcissistic ex love like only fans and escorts and
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  prostitutes and stuff like that? I told them I was like this.
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  You get this easy way to get supply, easy way to get supply
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  or control. Do what I here's some money.
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  Do what I say, here's some money.
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  Validate me, here's some money, give me what I want, here's some
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  money. Make me feel better.
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  So you get a lot of narcissists that might not be as
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  conventionally attractive as they used to be, right?
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  There might not be a silver fox or a beautiful cougar, Right.
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  So they use money to get what they want.
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  They use money to get their validation.
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  They use money to manipulate people and control people and to
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  get people to like them to get, hey, I got enough money to take
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  us all on a trip. Hey, you're 65 years old.
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  I got money, though. OK.
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  Does that not happen? Yeah, it happens.
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  But this is part of the space that so many people fall into
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  right here. Like narcissistic people are
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  always seeking that external validation.
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  We need it. We need it so it so we, so we
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  don't perish. We have to shift to another form
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  of supply. And like supply doesn't.
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  And also I had to figure out, I feel like I need to say this as
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  well. Supply doesn't always have to be
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  a person. It doesn't always have to come
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  from people. You know, there are some people
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  you know, it's just some people just like or asexual.
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  You ever hear people being asexual?
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  Like I don't need this. Like I don't need, I don't need
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  to clap cheeks, right? I don't need it at all.
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  Like some narcissists don't need it from people.
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  They get it from different places.
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  You get some narcissists, they get external supply, they get
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  narcissistic supply from just making money and living in
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  silence, like living in luxury with nobody else around.
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  They live in the damn mountains they live in, like they're like
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  hermits in the mountains. They live in this, you know,
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  they, they live that type of lifestyle right there and
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  whatnot and they enjoy it. They love it.
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  And they get supplied because they've succeeded in life,
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  right? Their, their college degree,
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  they can always look at their college degree, their
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  associate's degree or whatever, bachelor's degree, master's
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  doctorate or whatever. They can look at that as supply.
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  That's validation. Look what I accomplished.
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  They can use their accomplishments as supply and
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  that never runs out, right? You go through that four years
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  or that two years or that four years or even getting some type
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  of certificate. Right now everybody goes to
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  college, even some getting some type of certificate like like
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  for like air, air duct tech or something like that.
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  I got AI, got a certificate they can live off.
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  They can live off of that type of stuff right there and only
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  use it for themselves. They never post it online.
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  I feel like so many people get into their minds that all
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  narcissists are just alike. Like every single narcissist is
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  this grandiose type of person that needs, you know, to be rich
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  and famous. That's not true right there.
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  There are absolutely passive aggressive, introverted, covert
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  narcissists out here that will not make a sound.
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  You'll never see them right. They get their validation and
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  supply from their education, from doing different things,
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  from succeeding, from always moving around, from sometimes
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  just from their body. Just be you know, just from like
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  like this is say me for instance, like this is not I'm
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  40 years old. I don't look 40.
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  People tell me I don't look for you all the time like you don't
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  look 40. You cut your hair Yeah y'all, I
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  cut the hair. I know some people are asking
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  me. I'll get a close up close up
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  with the new camera. Y'all see cut the hair right and
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  cutting the hair people tell me I look younger like you shaved
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  out five years. You don't look 40, you look 30
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  something blah blah blah. I like cool, you know, I like
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  hearing it. So some people can they they
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  they just do they make massive changes in their life to get
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  supply is that it goes right there sometimes.
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  Did I do that? No, I did that because I'm
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  chasing my dreams. I'm I'm I cut my hair for a
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  multitude of different reasons. One of being I want to you know,
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  my passion. If y'all don't know I'm an
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  actor. I want to act and I want to get
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  more considered for more roles. The dreads kind of eliminate a
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  certain I can't be a cop with dreads, right?
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  The police officer I got Dre, I can't apply apply to be a cop
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  unless some undercover role, right?
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  So that doesn't help me out right there.
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  So that's one reason to cut them because I want to.
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  I want to chase my dreams and that's how some narcissists get
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  supplies. Well, they chase their dreams.
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  They're always moving. They're never stagnant, right?
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  For the narcissist that are always moving, they're never
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  stagnant. They're always doing something.
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  They will never run out of supply because it's always
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  shifting. They shift their minds of what
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  matters to them or what validation is to them.
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  The older you get, validation means something differently.
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  Sometimes it's narcissistic supply for an elderly narcissist
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  can be the family that they've created.
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  I'm not saying that they love and care about their family or
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  they treat their family well. It just can be like look at my
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  grandson, look at my granddaughter, look at my great,
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  great grandkids. I made that.
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  I created that. Look what I did.
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  All of this came from me. Nothing.
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  None of these people would be here without me.
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  So they use other people as validation in that instance, but
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  it's just because they had you or just because they procreated
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  and contributed to making you. You say it never.
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  It very rarely is something big that they've actually done.
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  They haven't treated you well their whole lives, but now they
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  want to take credit for it because you bring them supply,
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  you bring them validation you makes you make things make sense
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  for them, right? And even as a narcissist gets
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  older, I think a lot of people will resonate with this as you,
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  if you have a narcissist that you're with that is getting
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  older, that is getting on upper in age and whatnot, and you're
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  consistently trying to deal with this person and just trying to
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  make sense of everything. What could help you out in the
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  short term and in the long term is understanding how their minds
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  work like because if they're getting supply from you, it's
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  going to run out, right? It's going to run low.
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  Not it might, might not run out, but it will run low and it
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  doesn't feel the same to them anymore right?
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  You can do you can do whatever you want to do.
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  You can bend over forward, you can bend over backwards.
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  You can do a cartwheel, a split dunk, whatever run for Sprint,
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  whatever you want to do. You can do all of that stuff
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  right there, right? And in the end, it won't be
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  enough for them because it doesn't feel the same because
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  it's coming from you. They're so accustomed to getting
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  it from you that it doesn't feel the same anymore.
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  So that's why a lot of times you'll waste a lot of time,
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  effort, and energy with this person because they don't
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  appreciate what you do for them. Because now it's shifted from
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  appreciation of gratitude to entitlement.
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  And when they become entitled, it's very difficult to deal
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  with, right? It's very, very difficult to
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  deal with. It's very, very difficult to try
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  to make sense of it all. So in conclusion, there are some
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  narcissists that absolutely will run out of supply.
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  They don't, they don't adjust, they don't shift, they don't do
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  anything. Like imagine an elderly
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  narcissist that loses everything in their life.
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  Their, their, their partner divorces them, the kids don't
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  talk to them anymore. They lose their job, they don't
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  have any pension. They end up homeless on the
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  streets. They're and they're old.
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  And you see what I'm saying? They don't have anywhere.
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  There's no self-care. They're what is it?
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  Unhoused is, I guess the politically correct term,
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  unhoused and whatnot, right? That narcissist is struggling to
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  get supply. You know what I'm saying?
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  They unless you have like, I'm an old homeless unhoused man,
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  right? I'm not a looker.
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  I don't have anything to offer. I might find an unhoused woman
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  or another unhoused man if I'm like, you know, if I'm not
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  straight. So it just depends.
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  But like it's very difficult to get supply in there.
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  So those people can run out of supply and they will wither and
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  they'll just give up. They end up going into a huge
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  depression when they can't figure out another way to get
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  narcissistic supply and it doesn't help them out.
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  It doesn't help anybody actually.
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  So as you're continue to move forward and you understand this
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  person, like that type of person could possibly try to get supply
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  from just getting money. Like somebody gave me, somebody
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  gave me $10 today. Supply, you know, I'm saying
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  they ship, they will find another way to get supply
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  accolades. Whatever it do, whatever the
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  case may be, they can. They will find a way.
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  Life finds a way. Shout out to Jeff Goldblum.
• 11:20
  Jurassic World Dress. No, not dress world.
• 11:23
  Jurassic Park, The lost world. Shout out to Jeff Goldblum.
• 11:26
  Amazing line anyway y'all they have to make to the end of my
• 11:29
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• 11:31
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• 11:32
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