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How Narcissists Treat You When They Lose Interest In You · The Mental Healness Podcast

• 0:01
  So how do narcissists start to treat you when they lose
• 0:06
  interest in you? When they no longer see that
• 0:10
  value that they originally saw in you?
• 0:12
  When they no longer get the same amount of narcissistic supply
• 0:16
  from you that they used to? That's what we're talking about
• 0:18
  today, y'all. If you're new here, my name is
• 0:20
  Lee Hammond. I'm a clinically diagnosed
• 0:22
  narcissist and welcome to another episode of The
• 0:24
  Narcissist Code. Welcome back, folks, Welcome
• 0:45
  back, welcome back. Yes, those pesky, whole pesky
• 0:50
  pestersons. Narcissistic people.
• 0:52
  How do they treat you? How do they behave when they
• 0:56
  start to lose interest in you? And not a lot of people can
• 0:59
  attest to this, right? I know a lot of people have
• 1:00
  dealt with this. I know a lot of people have been
• 1:02
  on the receiving end of a narcissist or a toxic person
• 1:06
  losing interest in them. And it sucks.
• 1:09
  Very look, some of y'all what's going on, drunquility.
• 1:12
  Some of y'all will come on here and just say, well, Lee, to me,
• 1:16
  it felt amazing when they lost interest in me.
• 1:23
  And could that be true for somebody else?
• 1:25
  Yeah, possibly, right? It could be true for you that
• 1:28
  they felt great when you when they lost interest in you.
• 1:31
  But for other people, it's not going to feel as good, right?
• 1:34
  Because you are still connected to them.
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  You are, you might be still in love with this person.
• 1:40
  You might be your head over heels with this person and
• 1:43
  whatnot. So it it's tough and whatnot
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  when you're dealing with this person and they just lose
• 1:49
  interest in you. So how do they treat you?
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  Very rarely do narcissists treat you with any type of good
• 1:56
  behaviors. When they disconnect from you,
• 2:00
  when they no longer get the same amount of narcissistic supply
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  from you that they might have originally gotten, they very
• 2:07
  well lose it, right? They very well lose it on you.
• 2:12
  You mean it like literally They very well can just dis like like
• 2:17
  extremely can like disconnect from you to the point where you
• 2:21
  are sad as hell. They'll take the love away.
• 2:25
  If anybody is familiar with the the cycle of narcissistic abuse,
• 2:29
  it goes my cycle of narcissistic abuse, right?
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  My cycle it goes from why they pick you to love bombing to
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  devaluation right to fracturing. Why they pick you love bombing
• 2:43
  to fracturing to devaluation. When the when you hit the
• 2:47
  fracturing stage of narcissistic abuse, it's when they take the
• 2:51
  love away from you. It's when they start to see some
• 2:54
  type of flaw in you. So when they start to take the
• 2:57
  love away from you, it's hurts, y'all?
• 2:59
  It sucks because originally this person might have been, this
• 3:03
  person might have been treating you like they were head over
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  heels in love with you, right? Like literally like they were
• 3:10
  head over heels in love with you and whatnot.
• 3:14
  And that's and I said, and because you might also be head
• 3:18
  over heels with this person, it sucks when they start treating
• 3:21
  you differently. Let's be real, right?
• 3:25
  She said that this person said, yes, the best thing that could
• 3:27
  happen because you don't have to run away.
• 3:29
  Yeah, it could be the best thing to happen in certain situations,
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  but a lot of times when narcissists start to take the
• 3:35
  love away is not the best thing they gather.
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  I'll keep it hot with you, y'all.
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  Because they just because they take the love away or they start
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  to lose interest in you does not mean that they will treat you
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  better. I mean, it doesn't mean that
• 3:48
  they will leave you alone. You know what I mean?
• 3:50
  It does not mean that they will leave you.
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  A lot of times they take the love away and start to treat you
• 3:55
  worse. Just being real.
• 3:59
  They start to treat you worse when they take the love away.
• 4:04
  I know there's consult for a lot of people, but that's that
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  that's that's how it ends up going like when they lose
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  interest in you, they take the love away and they disconnect
• 4:13
  from you damn near totally. Y'all seriously, They really,
• 4:18
  really take the love away from you and they start to treat you
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  like you do not matter to them, like you no longer matter to
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  them at all. Like seriously, they started to
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  treat you like you do not matter.
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  They started to treat you like you are worthless.
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  They started to treat you like you like they're like, and you
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  can feel it, right? There's nothing when they take,
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  when they lose interest in you, there's damn near nothing you
• 4:43
  can do to make them happy. There's damn near nothing that
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  you can do. There's nothing that you can
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  seriously just to make them change it back on.
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  And that's what so many people get caught up with right there.
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  You try to turn it back on. You're like, well, Lee, I'm
• 4:58
  going to try to get them to love me again.
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  And you will waste years of your life, years of your limited
• 5:05
  life. You will waste on trying to get
• 5:07
  this person to love you again, trying to get this person to to
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  value you again. You will waste years of your
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  life and you going to be mad as hell at the end.
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  So many people get extremely frustrated with it, but you,
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  it's so many people wasted years trying to get this person to
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  love them again, you and it's going to suck.
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  It's going to suck so badly because you just like, I just
• 5:31
  want you to love me. Just show me that you love me
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  and you'd be like, you're just begging, you're pleading, you're
• 5:38
  crying. Like once they start to lose
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  interest in you, typically, not always, y'all, when they start
• 5:43
  to lose interest in you, typically they're trying to
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  connect to someone else. Notice I said typically, I
• 5:54
  didn't say that always happens. But when they lose interest in
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  you, a lot of the time they're trying to gain interest, they're
• 6:01
  gaining interest in someone else.
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  And that sucks too, because once they gain interest in someone
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  else, sometimes you'll know about it.
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  Sometimes you will know about it.
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  You'll see them flirting, You will see them coming home late.
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  You will see them on the phone smiling and snickering and all
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  kinds of stuff like that. You will see it.
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  You'll start questioning them and they'll be like, this is
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  just a friend. Wow, you insecure as hell.
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  See, that's why you see, that's why I do this.
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  Because you insecure. Yeah.
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  I can't. I can't have friends now.
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  Damn. Damn.
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  I can't go. I can't go hang with nobody at
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  their house in the middle of the night and turn my phone off.
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  Damn you insecure as hell. Damn, I ain't go to her house at
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  the middle of the night then turn the phone off without you
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  blowing me up. Damn, why am I even with you?
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  Damn, now how crazy does that does that sound right there?
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  You mean how crazy how? How insane does that sound right
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  there? Right, it is.
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  And who said this? Right.
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  Theresa said they also lose interest when they lose control.
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  This is absolutely true right here, because once they lose
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  control, they will absolutely lose interest because they, they
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  don't have any power anymore. They were they or their power is
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  being limited. Like a lot of narcissistic
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  people want full, total control over you.
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  And when it's when they start to lose a little bit of control,
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  they, yeah, they, they start to treat you badly and they, they
• 7:32
  would lose interest in you. And sometimes they get
• 7:35
  disconnected. The video will be on Facebook
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  and it'll also be posted on YouTube as well.
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  And that's what happens. Jeez, Wonder why I'm insecure.
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  Yeah, I can't spend the night with my best friend of the the
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  opposite sex or the gender that I'm attracted to and not have
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  you blow me up. Damn.
• 8:02
  I'm sorry y'all, I know it sounds silly as hell, but when
• 8:05
  they lose interest in you, they really will just make you feel
• 8:08
  horrible about yourself. When they lose interest in you,
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  they will make you feel it. Here comes yeah, here comes
• 8:15
  unnecessary solid treatments. Here comes unnecessary
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  narcissistic rage episodes. Here comes unnecessary like them
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  coming home late, them just not picking the phone up, them
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  treating you badly. It it seems all unnecessary.
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  But when they lose interest, they feel like they give very
• 8:32
  little to no effort anymore. You get the bare you you
• 8:35
  sometimes you barely get the bare minimum.
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  When they lose interest in you, you barely get the bare minimum.
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  And I said her rose colored glasses is off.
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  Good for you. He clings to my friends and
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  always wants to hang out with us.
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  Yep, try to stay relevant. They try to stay relevant.
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  Now if if you when you start to lose interest in a narcissist,
• 8:55
  they try to turn it on right? A lot of times they try to turn
• 8:58
  it on, right? They try to turn it back on.
• 9:02
  But sometimes y'all, I'll say this as well, when you were
• 9:05
  dealing with a narcissistic person and they start to lose
• 9:09
  interest in you, sometimes they will start the process of the
• 9:13
  reverse discard, right? Y'all know what the reverse
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  discard is? They will start the process of
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  being the ones that push you away to the point where they
• 9:26
  don't look, they don't break up with you.
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  They start pushing you away to the point where you want to
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  leave. You leave them sometimes or
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  sometimes when they lose interest in you, they reverse
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  discard you and get you to be the one that leaves them so that
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  they can so that they can play the victim right, So they can
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  play the victim. They can tell everybody that you
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  left them. I, I was all I did was I was as
• 9:49
  good as I could do and they still left me.
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  Damn, you know what I'm saying? So sometimes when they lose
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  interest, they will push you away to the point where you are
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  the one that leaves. She's just my work colleague
• 10:02
  who's messaging me at 10:30 PM asking how much longer till I
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  get to her place and sneak through her garage.
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  Oh, Jesus. Yeah, you.
• 10:09
  I can't sneak to her, my work colleagues garage.
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  Like, you see, you think I'm going over to cheat?
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  I'm actually going over there to test her burglary alarm.
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  Like she wants to cheat. She just she's she's trying to
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  choose between security systems and she wants to come over there
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  and pretend to be a burglar. So I'm just trying to I'm trying
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  to pretend burger burgle her house.
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  See you, you. It's security as hell.
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  I can't go over there and fake burgle my friend's house.
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  That's insane, y'all, that's insane.
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  But they want you to stay through that.
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  They want, they want you to stick through that mess.
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  It sounds stupid, but it that's literally the mindset of a lot
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  of narcissistic people. It's going to sound ignorant.
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  It's going to sound beyond stupid as hell.
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  I promise you it is and then y'all will be mad as hell at it
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  right. He cheated on me and when I left
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  and met someone else, I was cheating the whole time.
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  Yep, they'll put they'll put it on T burglar right into her bed.
• 10:59
  Yeah, I I burgled them bed sheets.
• 11:03
  The bed sheets were burgled. I'll tell you what the bed
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  sheets are. The bed sheets were not were not
• 11:08
  burgle proof. They were not burgle proof.
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  They would not I just lastly, right in the sheets ain't going
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  to tell you what happened actually right into the sheets.
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  They would not burgle proof, you know what I mean?
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  But that's what ends up happening.
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  Y'all, I'm serious. That's that's the type of stuff
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  that ends up happening. This is the space.
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  My ex used the reverse Discord, played the victim, but then
• 11:27
  harassed and stalked me for two months trying to get me back.
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  Yeah. When they.
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  Yeah, when they lose interest in you.
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  When they, when a narcissistic person loses interest in you and
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  they try to they try to get you to come back.
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  Like sometimes they'll lose interest in you.
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  They'll try to find a new supply and if it doesn't work, they'll
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  try to come back to you. They'll try to spin the block
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  and come back into your life. Y'all they really, they really,
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  really will. So yeah, I got time for a few
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  questions. Y'all put some questions on the
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  screen, but now I'll answer a few questions.
• 11:53
  Then I got, I got to hop off and whatnot.
• 11:55
  Before you hop too deep, y'all look, you want look my coaching,
• 11:59
  my courses, my support. I have a support group as well.
• 12:03
  Everything is available at mentalillness.net, Mental
• 12:07
  illness.net, Everything is there.
• 12:09
  My coaching, I do one on ones over Zoom.
• 12:11
  I've helped thousands of people, my courses, I just released a
• 12:15
  course called Finding Your Why about healing for narcissistic
• 12:18
  abuse. And I also have a course called
• 12:20
  Understanding the Stages of a Narcissistic Relationship to
• 12:23
  help you understand what you went through and why you got why
• 12:25
  you got chosen, why you got discarded.
• 12:27
  All of those and everything. Everything else is at
• 12:29
  mentalillness.net y'all. So check out my site for the
• 12:33
  coaching, the courses, all of the other stuff.
• 12:40
  When's the next, where's the next workshop?
• 12:41
  We think about doing, I'm thinking about doing Atlanta.
• 12:43
  I might do one in Charlotte. I might do a little one in
• 12:45
  Charlotte. Yeah, we just, I'm trying to,
• 12:46
  I'm trying to figure out what I want to do next.
• 12:48
  I'm trying to figure out what I want to do next, where I want to
• 12:50
  go next. I'm I'm tired right now.
• 12:52
  So it might be a it might be a little a little while if I do
• 12:54
  one. He's now with the girl we used
• 12:56
  to hang around in the biker group.
• 12:58
  Of course, it's just a friends, just a friend.
• 13:02
  Love your content, Lee, and all the things you put in your head.
• 13:04
  I appreciate it versa. How can we best help people in
• 13:09
  such relationships, like help the your friend that's in a
• 13:12
  relationship with a narcissist. That'd be very tough to do right
• 13:14
  there. Just being realistic.
• 13:15
  That'd be very, extremely tough thing to do right, because they
• 13:19
  have to want to be helped. Like you can stay around them
• 13:21
  and just be a be a, a ear to cry on or whatever shoulder to cry
• 13:25
  on and whatnot and whatnot. I don't know about Alabama.
• 13:28
  Let's see about Alabama, PA, Barbara, what's going on, girl?
• 13:33
  We, we might be headed up that way.
• 13:35
  I'm not sure. Yeah, y'all just, I know Atlanta
• 13:37
  is, is on the list, Atlanta, New York, New Jersey, some other
• 13:40
  places, maybe Boston. I, I don't know yet.
• 13:42
  Joe, it's coming up. But anyway, like if y'all don't
• 13:45
  want to miss out on it, like I said, the first people who find
• 13:48
  out about the whatever the workshop is the people who join
• 13:51
  my newsletter. My newsletter is also at
• 13:53
  mentalillness.net. Join the newsletter and whatnot
• 13:58
  as well. Y'all.
• 13:59
  Why is it they rotate family, friends and lovers?
• 14:02
  Because narcissistic people, I feel like suffer from chronic
• 14:04
  boredom, so they're always trying to find somebody new.
• 14:08
  I want to leave him alone, but it's hard because we were
• 14:10
  friends from little kids. Well, sometimes, hey, friends
• 14:13
  become enemies because y'all are friends from look, that little
• 14:16
  kid, that ain't the little kid no more.
• 14:19
  This ain't a little kid in the playground.
• 14:20
  This is an adult abusing you. You got to see.
• 14:23
  See them for who they really are, right?
• 14:25
  See them for who they really are.
• 14:27
  What you got against Alabama. I ain't got nothing against
• 14:29
  Alabama. From what I hear, Alabama got
• 14:32
  got something against me and and and and and and the black folks.
• 14:35
  Here's what I'm saying. Alabama don't have a good
• 14:36
  reputation for black people. I was just going to get covered
• 14:39
  in the coated in the sun downtown.
• 14:40
  I had to fight, fight my way out of there.
• 14:46
  Anyways. Y'all, I do have to hop off
• 14:47
  y'all again mental illness.net for everything y'all.
• 14:51
  I will see y'all later. I'll probably be live again
• 14:53
  tomorrow. Y'all just hit the subscribe
• 14:54
  button. You haven't and I am out.
• 14:56
  Peace.