Latest / Our Community, Our Mission / Ep #324- Refreshed: Finding Peace in the Middle

Transcript

Ep #324- Refreshed: Finding Peace in the Middle · Our Community, Our Mission

• 0:01
  SPEAKER_06: Okay, let's pray.
• 0:05
  SPEAKER_06: Gracious God, thank you.
• 0:07
  SPEAKER_06: Um thank you for another day.
• 0:11
  SPEAKER_06: Um another day to follow you, another day to hear your voice, another day to just try to do what you need us to do in the moment.
• 0:23
  SPEAKER_06: Uh Lord, there's just so much that goes on.
• 0:26
  SPEAKER_06: There's so many things that we have to learn.
• 0:28
  SPEAKER_06: Um there's so many things that uh that we need to uh hold less tightly and just give back over to you.
• 0:38
  SPEAKER_06: Um Lord, just be in the middle of this conversation today as we learn new things.
• 0:44
  SPEAKER_06: Um help people that are listening to hear something that you need them to hear.
• 0:50
  SPEAKER_06: Um help them to understand that we are on a constant journey of doing better, knowing better and doing better.
• 0:58
  SPEAKER_06: Uh Lord, we just offer all of this up to you in Jesus' precious name.
• 1:02
  SPEAKER_06: Amen.
• 1:08
  SPEAKER_01: Hello, everybody.
• 1:09
  SPEAKER_01: Thank you for joining us for another episode of our Community Our Mission, a podcast of the Topeka Rescue Mission.
• 1:15
  SPEAKER_01: We're uh recording today on September 1st, 2026.
• 1:18
  SPEAKER_01: My goodness, this year's passing by.
• 1:21
  SPEAKER_01: And so are episodes, because this is number 324 episodes.
• 1:26
  SPEAKER_06: Which is almost 325, which makes me think of Christmas.
• 1:34
  SPEAKER_06: Exactly.
• 1:35
  SPEAKER_06: No, yes, we win.
• 1:36
  SPEAKER_06: We wish.
• 1:38
  SPEAKER_00: I kind of had this when he just said September 1st.
• 1:41
  SPEAKER_00: I guess I haven't said it out loud.
• 1:42
  SPEAKER_00: Uh-huh.
• 1:43
  SPEAKER_00: But you and I start prepping budget.
• 1:47
  SPEAKER_05: Oh, they said that in stereo budget.
• 1:49
  SPEAKER_00: And so I just had this moment where like I'm I'm frozen and my palms are a little sweaty.
• 1:54
  SPEAKER_01: Well, for those first-time listeners, that was Lamanda Cunningham and very incredible.
• 1:58
  SPEAKER_01: And this time of year, they think and everything else.
• 2:02
  SPEAKER_01: So I'm your host, Barry Feeker.
• 2:04
  SPEAKER_01: We are here today uh to talk about something that uh Lamanda just got back from from Colorado.
• 2:10
  SPEAKER_01: But before that, we have to jump into what we really know you've all been waiting for, and that is what the research and development department researched about the importance of the day of September 1st.
• 2:21
  SPEAKER_01: And this is uh sometimes national, sometimes international.
• 2:25
  SPEAKER_01: We're going national today.
• 2:26
  SPEAKER_01: And today is national no rhyme, no reason day.
• 2:31
  SPEAKER_01: No rhyme nor reason.
• 2:34
  SPEAKER_06: You know, there are many situations in life that make me go, yeah, there's absolutely no rhyme or reason for that.
• 2:40
  SPEAKER_01: Uh-huh.
• 2:40
  SPEAKER_01: That's right.
• 2:41
  SPEAKER_01: Like several times a day sometimes, right?
• 2:43
  SPEAKER_06: Sometimes the whole month.
• 2:44
  SPEAKER_01: The whole month.
• 2:46
  SPEAKER_01: So if you're today or wherever you are, whatever you're doing, it's uh if you there's no rhyme nor reason to things that are going, go ahead and celebrate.
• 2:53
  SPEAKER_01: Yeah.
• 2:54
  SPEAKER_01: Because it's a day to revel in the wonderfully illogical.
• 2:58
  SPEAKER_01: So if it doesn't make sense, go awesome.
• 3:01
  SPEAKER_01: Today's the day.
• 3:02
  SPEAKER_01: And so just make sure that you're well because Lamanda and I do so well, but not logical.
• 3:08
  SPEAKER_00: I saw in this little description talking about embrace spontaneity, and I'm like, no, I can't do that.
• 3:15
  SPEAKER_00: I need things to be in order.
• 3:16
  SPEAKER_01: I need things to be predictable.
• 3:18
  SPEAKER_01: But it says here, do something delightful, unexpected, Lamanda.
• 3:21
  SPEAKER_01: Uh that never happens at the rescue mission, does it?
• 3:23
  SPEAKER_06: I know.
• 3:24
  SPEAKER_06: Everything is predictable.
• 3:25
  SPEAKER_06: Uh-huh.
• 3:25
  SPEAKER_01: It's always, yeah, always predictable, always the same, never anything unexpected for at least a minute or two.
• 3:31
  SPEAKER_01: So anyway.
• 3:33
  SPEAKER_01: So anyway, enjoy the day.
• 3:35
  SPEAKER_01: If it's not making sense, have a good time.
• 3:38
  SPEAKER_06: Yes.
• 3:38
  SPEAKER_01: Just embrace it.
• 3:40
  SPEAKER_01: So the next thing, we only have two of them today, is uh uh something that you all were probably thinking about is Pink Cadillac Day.
• 3:48
  SPEAKER_01: You know, I was wondering when this day was coming.
• 3:50
  SPEAKER_01: Uh-huh.
• 3:50
  SPEAKER_01: Yeah.
• 3:50
  SPEAKER_01: Yeah.
• 3:51
  SPEAKER_01: How many of those have you had?
• 3:53
  SPEAKER_06: Uh how old am I?
• 3:54
  SPEAKER_06: Well, wait, when did it start?
• 3:57
  SPEAKER_01: Oh, Pink Cadillac?
• 3:58
  SPEAKER_01: Yeah, Pink Cadillac, huh?
• 3:59
  SPEAKER_06: That'd be a big old fat zero.
• 4:01
  SPEAKER_01: Well, you know, then you didn't really follow in the footsteps of Elvis Presley.
• 4:06
  SPEAKER_01: That is correct.
• 4:07
  SPEAKER_01: Springsteen.
• 4:08
  SPEAKER_01: Also correct.
• 4:09
  SPEAKER_01: Uh-huh.
• 4:09
  SPEAKER_01: Yes.
• 4:09
  SPEAKER_01: And this was uh landmark culturally, came around the 1950s.
• 4:13
  SPEAKER_01: Everybody was saying, hey, if you want to be somebody, you got a pink Cadillac.
• 4:16
  SPEAKER_01: Not just a Cadillac, but a pink Cadillac.
• 4:19
  SPEAKER_06: And it was probably convertible.
• 4:20
  SPEAKER_01: Oh well.
• 4:21
  SPEAKER_01: Could be.
• 4:21
  SPEAKER_01: Yeah.
• 4:22
  SPEAKER_01: Yeah.
• 4:22
  SPEAKER_01: I'm I'm sure.
• 4:23
  SPEAKER_01: Yeah.
• 4:23
  SPEAKER_01: So hopping in, cruising down memory lane, and embrace your wildest impulses.
• 4:27
  SPEAKER_01: So if that's what you're into today, um they still make Cadillacs, right?
• 4:31
  SPEAKER_01: They do.
• 4:32
  SPEAKER_01: Do they make pink ones?
• 4:33
  SPEAKER_06: I'm sure they do.
• 4:34
  SPEAKER_01: They've sure somebody has one.
• 4:36
  SPEAKER_06: Because they're still what's the what's the um Mary Kay?
• 4:39
  SPEAKER_06: Yes.
• 4:39
  SPEAKER_06: Yes.
• 4:40
  SPEAKER_06: That's scary.
• 4:41
  SPEAKER_06: I'm your business.
• 4:43
  SPEAKER_01: Does Mary drive a pink Cadillac?
• 4:44
  SPEAKER_06: She she used to.
• 4:46
  SPEAKER_06: Um, and she gives all her top earners uh pink cards.
• 4:49
  SPEAKER_01: Okay.
• 4:50
  SPEAKER_01: Okay.
• 4:50
  SPEAKER_01: So if you're wondering why Topeka Rescue Mission, our community, our mission, observes Pink Cadillac Day, this national no rhyme, no reason day.
• 4:58
  SPEAKER_01: So it all fits together well because it has nothing to do because no staff members, board members, or any other people that we know have one of those.
• 5:05
  SPEAKER_01: So exactly.
• 5:07
  SPEAKER_01: Okay.
• 5:08
  SPEAKER_01: So anyway, Miriam, there's something else very important coming up on October 11th.
• 5:12
  SPEAKER_01: Been talking about it before.
• 5:13
  SPEAKER_01: Yeah.
• 5:14
  SPEAKER_01: It's the um annual, is this the fourth?
• 5:16
  SPEAKER_01: One, two, three, four, four.
• 5:18
  SPEAKER_01: Fourth annual night of praise.
• 5:20
  SPEAKER_01: Talk about that.
• 5:21
  SPEAKER_06: It is.
• 5:21
  SPEAKER_06: You know, we don't really do fundraisers, but this event is a fundraiser.
• 5:27
  SPEAKER_06: However, the main purpose of our night of praise is really not that, even though we do want to let people know what our financial needs are, but it really is to all be able to come together to praise the Lord for all of his blessings.
• 5:41
  SPEAKER_06: Um, for the things that he does for the people we serve, for our staff, for TRM in general.
• 5:46
  SPEAKER_06: Um, it's just a really beautiful way to come together to worship the Lord.
• 5:51
  SPEAKER_06: Um and it's happening this year, uh, as you said, on um October the 11th at Fairlawn Nazarene Church.
• 5:58
  SPEAKER_06: Um so we've moved the location this time.
• 6:00
  SPEAKER_06: Um, so we want to make sure that people know that.
• 6:03
  SPEAKER_06: But people are able to just come.
• 6:04
  SPEAKER_06: There's no cut cost to coming to the event.
• 6:07
  SPEAKER_06: Um the doors open at 5 30 and the uh music will start at 6.
• 6:13
  SPEAKER_06: And then um people, while they don't have to pay anything, they are asked to bring a non-perishable food item.
• 6:20
  SPEAKER_06: Um food is just such a significant need.
• 6:23
  SPEAKER_06: You know, we're continuously hearing about other organizations um that are also struggling to have enough resources because the need across our community is so great.
• 6:33
  SPEAKER_06: So we do want people, if they're able, to uh bring a can of food, five cans of food, a case, whatever they're able to do.
• 6:41
  SPEAKER_06: Um, but just come and join us in worshiping the Lord.
• 6:44
  SPEAKER_01: Or just come if you don't have any food to bring.
• 6:46
  SPEAKER_01: Absolutely.
• 6:47
  SPEAKER_06: Now we do still need sponsorship, so there is opportunity for people to become sponsors at a variety of different levels, and they can find all of this information on our website at trmonline.org.
• 7:00
  SPEAKER_06: Uh click on the night of praise tab and they'll be able to see what all the different kinds of opportunities are for sponsorship as well.
• 7:07
  SPEAKER_01: Yep, so it sounds great, uh, October 11th, and that's coming fast now.
• 7:11
  SPEAKER_06: Oh my goodness, yes, because today is apparently September 1st.
• 7:14
  SPEAKER_06: Oh my goodness.
• 7:15
  SPEAKER_01: So so uh I want to just dig dig in a little bit more.
• 7:18
  SPEAKER_01: You said it's not a fundraiser, TRM doesn't do a fundraiser.
• 7:20
  SPEAKER_01: A lot of organizations do.
• 7:22
  SPEAKER_01: They'll have an annual banquet or some special event, those kind of things to raise funds.
• 7:27
  SPEAKER_01: Um why does TRM not have uh like a an annual banquet or something like that, like some do?
• 7:34
  SPEAKER_06: You know, uh Barry, that's that's a really great question, but in some ways it just feels a little off, I think I would say, to come together and have this a huge meal and do all of that when you consider who we serve and uh what the needs are of all of the people that we serve.
• 7:58
  SPEAKER_06: And when you think about that kind of event, the folks we serve would probably never be there, right?
• 8:04
  SPEAKER_06: They wouldn't be able to feel comfortable in the room potentially, or people might not be as welcoming with some of the people that we serve.
• 8:16
  SPEAKER_06: At a night of praise, everyone can come.
• 8:19
  SPEAKER_06: They can come regardless of their economic status, they don't have to buy a ticket.
• 8:24
  SPEAKER_06: And I'll tell you, Barry, one of the most beautiful things that we've seen at these events is when our unsheltered neighbors join us and bring a can of food.
• 8:35
  SPEAKER_06: And that says it all in terms of how we want this event to be incredibly inclusive.
• 8:42
  SPEAKER_06: We want everyone to be able to attend.
• 8:45
  SPEAKER_06: And is it a fundraiser?
• 8:46
  SPEAKER_06: Sure it is.
• 8:47
  SPEAKER_06: TRM does need money to actually function.
• 8:49
  SPEAKER_06: Um, however, when the focus is not on that, when the focus is on what the Lord is doing in people's lives, that's what really matters.
• 9:00
  SPEAKER_06: And if just one person's heart would be touched because of what occurs that night as we praise the Lord, it's all worth it.
• 9:10
  SPEAKER_01: Yeah.
• 9:10
  SPEAKER_06: It's all worth it.
• 9:11
  SPEAKER_01: You know, I think, and then we're not saying there's anything wrong with people who do banquets.
• 9:14
  SPEAKER_01: Uh not at all.
• 9:15
  SPEAKER_01: Sometimes it's a fundraiser, and it's also an awareness piece.
• 9:18
  SPEAKER_01: TRM is doing something every day that's so essential, 24-7, 365 days a year, that there is uh really not a lot of time to pull off and do a banquet.
• 9:28
  SPEAKER_01: Well, there's that too.
• 9:29
  SPEAKER_01: Yeah.
• 9:30
  SPEAKER_01: It's uh the awareness piece is um that TRM resources and puts into different ways on the internet and uh you know the Facebook and so forth and media interviews.
• 9:42
  SPEAKER_01: Sure.
• 9:42
  SPEAKER_01: Lamanda and others go out and do speaking, you do it as well to help people be aware.
• 9:47
  SPEAKER_01: So there's nothing wrong with what people do.
• 9:48
  SPEAKER_01: It's just how do you invest your time?
• 9:50
  SPEAKER_01: Sure.
• 9:51
  SPEAKER_06: And and Barry, they will hear a lot about the work that TRM is doing, whether it's through testimonies.
• 9:56
  SPEAKER_06: Uh Lamanda will be sharing different kinds of things about uh data.
• 10:01
  SPEAKER_06: Data is important.
• 10:03
  SPEAKER_06: Um, our financials are important, but it's also really, really important, maybe the most important thing next to serving and worshiping the Lord is putting names and faces to the work that we do.
• 10:17
  SPEAKER_06: That's right.
• 10:17
  SPEAKER_06: Uh to make it more meaningful um in terms of what we what we get to walk alongside people with every day.
• 10:26
  SPEAKER_01: So you hear a little bit about the impact that TRM has in the community for people who are struggling, whether they're homeless or hungry, or on and on and on, but also the impact of the donations that come in to help TRM do that.
• 10:38
  SPEAKER_01: Absolutely.
• 10:38
  SPEAKER_01: So all right, so we're gonna switch gears again.
• 10:41
  SPEAKER_01: Lamanda, um speaker rescue mission is a member, which some people have heard before, of the City Gate Network.
• 10:48
  SPEAKER_01: And um, how many different uh rescue ministries are currently in this association of rescue missions?
• 10:56
  SPEAKER_00: I believe it's around 315.
• 10:58
  SPEAKER_01: 315.
• 10:59
  SPEAKER_01: And that's national at this point.
• 11:01
  SPEAKER_01: I think there's some international maybe grow that a little bit.
• 11:04
  SPEAKER_01: And it's an organization that's been around over 100 years.
• 11:07
  SPEAKER_01: Um it's changed names a number of times, but it's called City Gate Network.
• 11:11
  SPEAKER_01: I think it changed in 2018, something, 2017, somewhere in that arena.
• 11:16
  SPEAKER_01: Uh Peak Rescue Mission has been recognized within that group in different ways, especially since you've come on board in regards to something called Emerging Leaders, which you have helped chair.
• 11:28
  SPEAKER_01: Uh you can do that, emerging leaders, until you turn 40, is that right?
• 11:33
  SPEAKER_00: Yeah, there's not like a hard cutoff, but we usually say 40-ish.
• 11:37
  SPEAKER_01: So you're about out of there, aren't you?
• 11:38
  SPEAKER_01: I am.
• 11:39
  SPEAKER_01: Just got to throw that in.
• 11:41
  SPEAKER_01: Mary and I say exactly.
• 11:43
  SPEAKER_01: So so uh we're the 40 plus crowd, too.
• 11:46
  SPEAKER_01: Um anyway, so Lamanda, uh, there's a lot of different things.
• 11:50
  SPEAKER_01: There's annual meetings that people come together, it's really awesome.
• 11:54
  SPEAKER_01: Um have connections with other rescue ministries, which we have done on our Community Art Mission podcast before.
• 12:00
  SPEAKER_01: Uh Fresno, um all over the place.
• 12:03
  SPEAKER_01: Yep.
• 12:03
  SPEAKER_00: Perciville, Tree of Life.
• 12:05
  SPEAKER_01: Yeah, just different ones that we've had uh on this program here.
• 12:08
  SPEAKER_01: Uh but they also have something called the CEO Summit.
• 12:11
  SPEAKER_01: And that's a chief executive officer summit.
• 12:14
  SPEAKER_01: You're a CEO here.
• 12:15
  SPEAKER_01: Um it's a summit.
• 12:17
  SPEAKER_01: Talk a little bit about what you just got back from, what it was, why it was, where it was, and what'd you learn?
• 12:23
  SPEAKER_00: Sure.
• 12:24
  SPEAKER_00: You know, the first couple of years, um, Barry, I did not attend the CEO summit.
• 12:30
  SPEAKER_00: And even some of our internal team um were saying, hey, we really think you need to go to this and all of that.
• 12:36
  SPEAKER_00: But I was so involved in the annual conference um that one, that was kind of my time to go and to serve and to attend that as well.
• 12:48
  SPEAKER_00: And um, you know, we've done reflections on that on the podcast.
• 12:52
  SPEAKER_00: And um, every time, whether it's the annual conference or a CEO summit or anything like that, we come back to the board, we present to the board.
• 13:00
  SPEAKER_00: Um, we're grateful that we're able to have um some of the designated dollars for staff development.
• 13:05
  SPEAKER_00: And so I think it's important if we're gonna spend those dollars that way, we also then need to report back to leadership to say, hey, these are changes that we're gonna bring.
• 13:14
  SPEAKER_00: And so the first couple of years, I was more focused on what our team was doing with the annual conference than I was the CEO summit.
• 13:21
  SPEAKER_00: And if I can be honest with you, the thought of me attending one more thing and being away from the office kind of gave me a heart attack.
• 13:31
  SPEAKER_00: Um, however, last year um I just finally felt like I was kind of at a place where um I wasn't sure my perception was reality.
• 13:44
  SPEAKER_00: Um, because I knew what I was feeling as a CEO.
• 13:50
  SPEAKER_00: I knew what I was struggling with as a CEO.
• 13:53
  SPEAKER_00: I knew the great things about being a CEO, but then I kind of had this concern of am I just like the only person that is a CEO that has these worries?
• 14:06
  SPEAKER_00: Am I the only one that feels like, man, I'm pretty decent at this.
• 14:10
  SPEAKER_00: Like God has given me direction in this.
• 14:12
  SPEAKER_00: Am I the only one that can't fill some of the staff positions?
• 14:17
  SPEAKER_00: Like all of these things.
• 14:18
  SPEAKER_00: And I realized, okay, I kind of am having a hard time really understanding what I'm experiencing because I don't have a network in place of other people walking through at this moment a lot of what we're all facing.
• 14:35
  SPEAKER_00: And so that's really what helped me make the decision last year to go to the CEO summit.
• 14:40
  SPEAKER_00: And um, in full transparency, I left last year's CEO summit struggling.
• 14:48
  SPEAKER_00: I came into that room and I heard all of these authentic people talking about challenges, and a big thing last year was safety.
• 14:58
  SPEAKER_00: Um what's our role, what isn't, um, what we're doing for our community, but what isn't our own challenge, that we need everybody to help with challenges, those kinds of things.
• 15:08
  SPEAKER_00: But I walked away there going, everybody is doing all of these incredible things, and all of those leaders are so innovative, and they all seem to have this rhythm of life where they're like a challenge comes and they just hit it with the baseball bat and it goes away, and then they're ready for another challenge.
• 15:27
  SPEAKER_00: And I left there, I felt so bad, but I was just like, you know, you hear that theme of like um comparison as the thief of joy.
• 15:36
  SPEAKER_00: That was me, which is not normally a struggle I have.
• 15:40
  SPEAKER_00: And then I went back to Mary and I was like, just so you know, you've been wanting me to go to this for a couple of years, and I've told you no, and this is why I'm not going.
• 15:48
  SPEAKER_00: And so I did, I got chastised.
• 15:50
  SPEAKER_00: Yes, and so just so you know, I'm probably never going again.
• 15:53
  SPEAKER_00: And she said, Well, was the content good?
• 15:56
  SPEAKER_00: Oh yeah, it was great.
• 15:57
  SPEAKER_00: Was it organized?
• 15:58
  SPEAKER_00: Oh yeah, it was wonderful.
• 16:01
  SPEAKER_00: Did you learn anything?
• 16:02
  SPEAKER_00: Oh yeah, there was a lot.
• 16:03
  SPEAKER_00: And so she's like, Okay, okay, so you think this was a bad experience because you've walked away, you being a Debbie Downer.
• 16:12
  SPEAKER_00: And I'm like, Well, we're not going there.
• 16:13
  SPEAKER_00: Just let me be a Debbie down.
• 16:14
  SPEAKER_01: And Mary Movilla had to live with that about a year, right?
• 16:16
  SPEAKER_01: Yes, exactly.
• 16:17
  SPEAKER_06: And and probably at least once or twice every other month, maybe.
• 16:22
  SPEAKER_06: I say, Hey, don't forget the CEO.
• 16:25
  SPEAKER_06: The CEO summit is coming up.
• 16:27
  SPEAKER_00: Um, so it's it's kind of comical because, but it it was my reality.
• 16:33
  SPEAKER_00: Um and so Citigate did an incredible job last year planning the CEO summit.
• 16:38
  SPEAKER_00: They had panels, they had amazing guest speakers, they had wonderful uh books for us.
• 16:44
  SPEAKER_00: I mean, it is a definite um continuing ed learning experience.
• 16:49
  SPEAKER_00: I mean, it was nothing they did.
• 16:51
  SPEAKER_00: I walked away, I guess, just my heart was not in the right place.
• 16:56
  SPEAKER_00: And instead of being inspired, my heart allowed me to feel defeated.
• 17:02
  SPEAKER_00: And that was on me.
• 17:03
  SPEAKER_00: That was my walk with the Lord.
• 17:05
  SPEAKER_00: That was no one's issue but my own.
• 17:08
  SPEAKER_00: So this year, CEO summit time starts rolling around.
• 17:12
  SPEAKER_00: And everybody's like, Yep, you ready to go to the CEO summit?
• 17:15
  SPEAKER_00: And I'm just kind of looking at everybody.
• 17:17
  SPEAKER_00: And I realized if I feel like I'm not going to the CEO summit, it probably means I need the CEO summit.
• 17:24
  SPEAKER_00: So I start praying about going, and um, I felt I never heard the Lord or anything like that, but I just kept getting the word refreshed.
• 17:34
  SPEAKER_00: Um, and so I kind of surrendered a couple of weeks before we left, and I said, um, Lord, obviously I'm not fresh right now, and obviously I need you to refresh my thinking, probably my heart, okay, my attitude, like just refresh me and I'm ready to surrender because I don't want to be stale.
• 18:03
  SPEAKER_00: I don't I don't want to be constantly worried about everything that's needed at TRM.
• 18:10
  SPEAKER_00: Um, I just want to be able to be the leader you've called me to be for however long you've called me to be it, and I don't want to bypass um the power you've given me in such a big way, and I also don't want to be constantly worried or negative about what you've entrusted me with.
• 18:31
  SPEAKER_00: And so I knew God was gonna do some big things because of how much it had already convicted me before before I ever left.
• 18:39
  SPEAKER_00: And so we go, um, it was right outside of Denver, Colorado, and um the very first session, I'm sitting um up front on the side, and the CEO of Citigate Network, Tom DeVries, uh gets up.
• 18:54
  SPEAKER_00: Tom is just amazing.
• 18:57
  SPEAKER_00: Um, he is such an incredible leader, not just because of his ideas and not just because of his reputation and stability.
• 19:06
  SPEAKER_00: He also has brought a very um vulnerable light to the topic of homelessness.
• 19:14
  SPEAKER_00: And I feel like he ha and his team, um, all of them are incredible.
• 19:20
  SPEAKER_00: Uh, Sam and Sarah and Bethany and Lisa and Alice.
• 19:23
  SPEAKER_00: I mean, I could just go on and on.
• 19:25
  SPEAKER_00: Um, but they've really not been afraid to talk about what's hard about this work.
• 19:32
  SPEAKER_00: And so that's one thing that I've appreciated because there are moments where we're talking about the beauty in it and the um the calling and the purpose and all of those great things, but then they also are very real that this work is very counterintuitive to just basically the majority of society.
• 20:00
  SPEAKER_00: Um, it's it's really doing things for biblical purposes, and that's just not always popular.
• 20:09
  SPEAKER_00: So Tom gets up there, and I'm a huge fan of Tom.
• 20:12
  SPEAKER_00: I'm a huge fan of all the Citigate team, and I'm so thankful.
• 20:15
  SPEAKER_00: And so I am excited to hear him.
• 20:18
  SPEAKER_00: And he says, the first thing he says, he welcomes us and all of that, and then he says, This theme of this week is really simple.
• 20:28
  SPEAKER_00: It's that we just want you to be refreshed.
• 20:32
  SPEAKER_00: And um did it just for you, didn't they?
• 20:35
  SPEAKER_00: Yeah, and then I'm thinking, well, this is for everyone else and not me.
• 20:39
  SPEAKER_00: So I'm just gonna walk out of the room.
• 20:41
  SPEAKER_00: But no, I I did it, brought tears to my eyes because um sometimes I, especially as CEO, we we talk a lot about our belief.
• 20:51
  SPEAKER_00: We talked about this a couple of weeks ago with Mike Shottle and the servant acronym of why we do things, and we talked about valuing people and transformation and um people being made new in Christ.
• 21:03
  SPEAKER_00: And sometimes it's almost like I have that at an arm's length, and I believe that for everyone else.
• 21:10
  SPEAKER_00: And I want people to know you can pray anywhere.
• 21:13
  SPEAKER_00: I want people to know you're never too far gone, and I want people to know like you are not the behaviors you're demonstrating, and I want people to know, like, come rest at map, come get a shower, eat, breathe, right?
• 21:26
  SPEAKER_00: Like, I want all that.
• 21:28
  SPEAKER_00: And then for myself, I just run myself ragged, and then I tell myself every day everything that I messed up or everything that I feel like I didn't do.
• 21:39
  SPEAKER_00: And so to like sit in this audience, and the first thing he says is like, we just want everybody to be refreshed.
• 21:46
  SPEAKER_00: I instantly got tears because it reminded me, like, oh, that same father that I'm telling everybody about, and that same father that I know loves the person in the tent, loves the person who is struggling with suicide, and that bored me.
• 22:00
  SPEAKER_00: And are faking it to make it.
• 22:02
  SPEAKER_00: And that same God that has provided that miracle of giving us all the buns we needed at TRM when we didn't have buns, all of that.
• 22:10
  SPEAKER_00: Oh, that's the same father that also loves me.
• 22:14
  SPEAKER_00: That's the same father that's like, I know I've called you to be a CEO.
• 22:19
  SPEAKER_00: And I'm also equipping you as you help equip everyone else.
• 22:24
  SPEAKER_00: And so instantly I was like, yep, this is where I'm supposed to be.
• 22:28
  SPEAKER_00: Thank you, Lord, for refreshing me and for preparing my heart for the past couple of weeks that that was going to be the word.
• 22:34
  SPEAKER_00: And in very early on in what Tom was talking about, um, he mentioned, uh, he quoted, I I believe it was a Ruth Barton, but he quoted her um saying, if we don't come apart for a while, we will come apart for a while.
• 22:55
  SPEAKER_00: And he really just wanted us to kind of have this guilt-free zone because he talked about, you know, we care about everyone else's loads and we're constantly trying to um make sure everybody's okay and we're watching fatigue and burnout and all of these things.
• 23:12
  SPEAKER_00: Um, yet sometimes we don't do that for ourselves, and really reminded us that we should not feel bad that we're taking this shift.
• 23:23
  SPEAKER_00: It we were still working, we were still learning.
• 23:27
  SPEAKER_00: We were still being consumed in a different way.
• 23:31
  SPEAKER_01: No fike speaking differently.
• 23:33
  SPEAKER_00: Yeah.
• 23:33
  SPEAKER_00: I mean, it was hours upon hours every day into the evening and early mornings, yet it was a different learning and it was a different pouring in.
• 23:43
  SPEAKER_00: And he just really wanted us to know don't look at this as what am I missing?
• 23:49
  SPEAKER_00: Look at it at what you need to gain in those few days, so that then you're going back um refreshed.
• 23:56
  SPEAKER_00: And so that was an incredible start to it.
• 24:00
  SPEAKER_00: And then basically the training is structured with um various guest speakers.
• 24:08
  SPEAKER_00: Um, every session we have a praise and worship time, which is led by other CEOs, which was really neat.
• 24:16
  SPEAKER_00: Um, and so that's great.
• 24:18
  SPEAKER_00: And then we do have two or three times where we share share a meal together, and that's neat.
• 24:24
  SPEAKER_00: I mean, it's just a time of like networking and checking on people and um talking about work, but then it was nice because a couple of people, they just wanted to know about my family.
• 24:35
  SPEAKER_00: They wanted to know how I'm surviving five kids in sports because they're seeing it on Facebook and things like that.
• 24:41
  SPEAKER_00: And so there is this balance of man, you're you're taking notes, you're listening to these guest speakers, but you're also praising and worshiping, and you're also being able to share meals together.
• 24:52
  SPEAKER_00: And it really is just a time of as soon as it starts, you're just fellowshipping with one another on this journey while you're just kind of a sponge.
• 25:05
  SPEAKER_00: One of the things that is so that touched my heart though, and then we can get into the content.
• 25:10
  SPEAKER_00: But I was there, I was being refreshed.
• 25:14
  SPEAKER_00: I could go on and on and on about the God moments and how he worked and all of that.
• 25:21
  SPEAKER_00: But one of the things that stood out to me was um I know all the time how blessed I am to have the team I do.
• 25:30
  SPEAKER_00: And I say that, and I don't say that cliche.
• 25:33
  SPEAKER_00: It doesn't mean we don't have HR issues, it doesn't mean that we're not gonna have terminations.
• 25:39
  SPEAKER_00: Um sometimes we get in a bad mood because we've had a rough month, whatever.
• 25:43
  SPEAKER_00: So we're we're normal, we're people or whatever normal is, but we're people.
• 25:47
  SPEAKER_00: But one of the things that I noticed this time was I missed my team and I anticipated telling the team everything that I was gleaning.
• 26:00
  SPEAKER_00: Um, and so the missing part, and I don't want to cry too much because we got the rest of the podcast and I'm the main one talking today, but there there was a sense at times where people were like, I just need a break from the team.
• 26:16
  SPEAKER_00: It's too much, it's all of this.
• 26:18
  SPEAKER_00: Well, I get that.
• 26:19
  SPEAKER_00: You know, we've got 78 when we're fully staffed people, and that's a lot, but I miss the team.
• 26:28
  SPEAKER_00: Um I was I wasn't worried about their load.
• 26:33
  SPEAKER_00: I knew they had it.
• 26:34
  SPEAKER_00: Like they they are so great, they work well together, and and it wasn't that.
• 26:38
  SPEAKER_00: So it wasn't a control thing, and it wasn't a oh gosh, I hope they do this.
• 26:42
  SPEAKER_00: I didn't think about the jobs they were doing, but I was like, well, I know Miriam had this today, and now I don't know what's happening.
• 26:49
  SPEAKER_00: And I hope she's having fun.
• 26:51
  SPEAKER_00: I hope that was good, you know.
• 26:52
  SPEAKER_00: And then thinking through, well, even some of the stuff that John has, you know, his son going to school and all of this stuff.
• 26:59
  SPEAKER_00: And I was like, Well, I haven't gotten an update for his first full week of school.
• 27:03
  SPEAKER_00: I mean, it was like all these things.
• 27:04
  SPEAKER_00: FOMO.
• 27:05
  SPEAKER_00: It is very much so.
• 27:06
  SPEAKER_00: I didn't want to miss out on anything.
• 27:08
  SPEAKER_01: Um, but you realize getting refreshed, like getting away is really getting away and not having to be doing the other stuff.
• 27:14
  SPEAKER_01: Yes.
• 27:15
  SPEAKER_00: But then you're so connected that even if you're able to pause the work, I love my people.
• 27:21
  SPEAKER_00: Um, and and I enjoy talking with them.
• 27:24
  SPEAKER_00: I enjoy knowing what's going on in their lives and that kind of thing.
• 27:27
  SPEAKER_00: So I noticed that.
• 27:28
  SPEAKER_00: And then the anticipation part, um, and I may have been a little facetious with this one, but I was giving them updates on a few things I was learning to make them be really nervous.
• 27:41
  SPEAKER_00: And so at one point, um, they're sending me several memes back that were pretty hysterical of just like, oh great, we're scared, you know, all these things.
• 27:50
  SPEAKER_00: Um, but at one point I said, listen, we're only changing all of our HR policies, we're only changing all of the ways we do financial stewardship, we're only changing some of our leadership strategies and and and I sent like several, and um, they were sending memes back.
• 28:08
  SPEAKER_00: I quit, I'm out of here.
• 28:09
  SPEAKER_00: There's one running away.
• 28:10
  SPEAKER_00: It was hysterical.
• 28:11
  SPEAKER_01: So they're not terribly frightened of you.
• 28:13
  SPEAKER_00: No.
• 28:13
  SPEAKER_00: Or maybe they are, I don't know.
• 28:16
  SPEAKER_00: But it was neat to be able to, on a serious note, I was giving them some updates of, hey, look into this, or we're gonna be discussing this, or those kinds of things.
• 28:27
  SPEAKER_00: But it also was this I just love them.
• 28:30
  SPEAKER_00: Um, I miss them.
• 28:31
  SPEAKER_00: I'm grateful for all staff that we have.
• 28:34
  SPEAKER_00: Um, we had a couple of announcements while I was gone.
• 28:37
  SPEAKER_00: Um, someone got promoted and um someone else had moved out.
• 28:41
  SPEAKER_00: I mean, there was just joyfulness too.
• 28:44
  SPEAKER_00: And um, so it reminded me that I do not need to feel guilty when I pivot um into something that's gonna refresh me and that my team deserves for me to be the best CEO.
• 29:02
  SPEAKER_00: And being the best CEO doesn't mean always having the most innovative ideas.
• 29:07
  SPEAKER_00: It doesn't mean being the most popular, it doesn't mean the one that's into everything.
• 29:11
  SPEAKER_00: Sometimes or all the time, my team deserves to have a prayer warrior as a CEO, um, as someone who is taking care of myself so that when other things are put in my backpack weighing it down, it doesn't knock me down.
• 29:28
  SPEAKER_01: It's hard to get off the merry-go-round when you're the CEO of any organization.
• 29:32
  SPEAKER_01: Um but your team needs you to get off the merry-go-round.
• 29:35
  SPEAKER_01: Right.
• 29:36
  SPEAKER_01: And so that when you come back on the merry-go-round, you are refreshed.
• 29:39
  SPEAKER_01: And so it's not just for you, as you've kind of articulated, it's for the ministry itself.
• 29:46
  SPEAKER_01: And uh, but it again, it's hard to say when can I just step off of this and it's not gonna, you know, go off the rails or whatever.
• 29:53
  SPEAKER_01: And obviously it didn't.
• 29:54
  SPEAKER_01: And um, and so this year you went with a different expectation.
• 29:59
  SPEAKER_01: Sounds like God met you right at the very beginning, refresh.
• 30:03
  SPEAKER_01: And so um how long was the summit?
• 30:05
  SPEAKER_01: Um, and um what uh what was beyond refreshing, which it's good to get off the merry-go-round, but what was some key things that you really took away from this that you're bringing back now?
• 30:17
  SPEAKER_00: The conference was jam-packed for three days.
• 30:20
  SPEAKER_01: Jam-packed, like how many after 350 ministries, and there's only one CEO of each ministry.
• 30:26
  SPEAKER_01: Uh how many were able to get away to go?
• 30:28
  SPEAKER_00: Oh, I could be wrong, but it looked like there was every bit of probably 65.
• 30:34
  SPEAKER_00: I might be wrong though.
• 30:35
  SPEAKER_00: Um, just thinking through the room, and I'm not sure they announced.
• 30:39
  SPEAKER_00: Um, they do um it's not a requirement, but they do highly recommend spouses coming and they give a discounted rate and stuff.
• 30:48
  SPEAKER_00: Yes.
• 30:48
  SPEAKER_00: Um, which is incredible because some of that was on self-care.
• 30:52
  SPEAKER_00: Some of the sessions were soul care.
• 30:55
  SPEAKER_00: Um, and uh one of the speakers even talked about be really careful as a CEO that you're learning all of these strategies on how to care for your staff if you're not applying any of them to your family.
• 31:09
  SPEAKER_00: And so that that was a neat emphasis too.
• 31:13
  SPEAKER_00: Um, that if I am constantly, especially about my leadership staff, if I know something's bothering them and and I go back to them and I want to unpack that with them, or if we've had a heated discussion um and I'm making sure everybody's being respectful and on topic with that, or if I know someone on staff has has been sick or a loss, like we take care of that.
• 31:35
  SPEAKER_00: Do I have that same level of patience when my teenage daughter's wanting to talk to me at 10 p.m.?
• 31:41
  SPEAKER_00: Even though we've had all day and afternoon to talk about it at 10 p.m., she becomes this parrot and she's just talking to me about what's on her heart and what's on her mind and what she's struggling with and what she's facing.
• 31:52
  SPEAKER_00: Am I using those same principles that I do to staff to her?
• 31:56
  SPEAKER_01: Many of the CEOs in the Citigate Network are the younger CEO.
• 32:00
  SPEAKER_00: Yes.
• 32:00
  SPEAKER_01: And so there was a exodus the time that I was coming out of about 40% of people who had been in ministry with rescue ministries for a long time that were then leaving, which means that probably more than not people of your vintage um or maybe a little older were coming on board.
• 32:18
  SPEAKER_01: And so not only is there younger families, but there is just life in general that's younger, and taking on these major ministries that have been built up over many years, and so you've not only got that learning curve, but also you're trying to raise your family at the same time.
• 32:33
  SPEAKER_01: So, yeah, that's that's extremely important to have that commonality of being able to share and understand each other.
• 32:40
  SPEAKER_01: Hey, I'm not the only one that's got a teenager daughter waking me up at 10 o'clock or 10 p.m.
• 32:44
  SPEAKER_00: And how do we juggle this?
• 32:45
  SPEAKER_00: Yeah, right.
• 32:46
  SPEAKER_00: And how to put things in place so that you are the best you can be, yet realize you need grace no less than anyone else.
• 32:55
  SPEAKER_00: Yes.
• 32:56
  SPEAKER_00: It's not like you reach a level of leadership, and then when you reach that, you're like, oh, I require less mercy, I require less grace.
• 33:05
  SPEAKER_00: It's that's not the case.
• 33:06
  SPEAKER_00: And so the conference was jam-packed for three days, um, and then traveled day the the day before and the day after.
• 33:14
  SPEAKER_00: And um, you know, it there's so many takeaways.
• 33:19
  SPEAKER_00: Each speaker, I think, had some consistent principles of really learning the most you can about yourself.
• 33:27
  SPEAKER_00: Um, don't be constantly trying to grow up this team if you're not growing yourself to caring for yourself.
• 33:35
  SPEAKER_00: Um gosh, there was kind of this general theme of you have to be able to trust the Lord more than your own abilities.
• 33:44
  SPEAKER_00: And whether that was a speaker focused on, we had a speaker focused on conflict, we had a conflict resolution and and handling conflict, we had a speaker focused on just business principles, we had a uh person spoken on, um, really focused on HR hiring and and that kind of thing.
• 34:02
  SPEAKER_00: And really, this some of those principles were trust the Lord, um, follow him, and really do best by people.
• 34:11
  SPEAKER_00: And guess what?
• 34:12
  SPEAKER_00: You are people.
• 34:13
  SPEAKER_01: Let me let me pause on that for a moment or digress or whatever.
• 34:17
  SPEAKER_01: Um for our listeners.
• 34:19
  SPEAKER_01: Um there's an assumption that ministry leaders, whether they be a pastor or uh ministry leader like you are, has got this tight relationship with the Lord, and it's just like better than everybody else's.
• 34:34
  SPEAKER_01: But yet what you're saying is they're talking to you about really trusting the Lord.
• 34:40
  SPEAKER_01: Um, and sometimes uh there is this expectation for the CEO, the senior pastor, whatever, to have such a good relationship with with the Lord that you trust him for everything, and there's never a doubt, there's never any kind of conflict between you and God.
• 34:58
  SPEAKER_01: That's not the case, is it?
• 35:00
  SPEAKER_01: No.
• 35:00
  SPEAKER_01: And so that's common to all of us.
• 35:03
  SPEAKER_01: And so, and Miriam, you've been CEO yourself, you know, and it's it's uh and you weren't in a Christian ministry at that time, but still people knew you as a believer, uh follower of Christ.
• 35:14
  SPEAKER_01: And so there is this unrealistic expectation that gets put on us that we've got it.
• 35:19
  SPEAKER_06: Yes, even higher than there just normally is with CEOs.
• 35:23
  SPEAKER_06: Yes, right?
• 35:24
  SPEAKER_01: Yes, absolutely.
• 35:25
  SPEAKER_06: People think that people sitting in those positions, holding those positions, have all the answers, have everything together, have in the case of ministry a direct line to the Lord.
• 35:37
  SPEAKER_06: That's right.
• 35:37
  SPEAKER_06: And it's just not different than anybody else's.
• 35:40
  SPEAKER_01: And it's not you know, and so sometimes what will happen is that that person that is in that position of leadership will then say, Well, I gotta really play the part.
• 35:51
  SPEAKER_01: And I've got to act like I've got it all together with God when in our private moments that we can't be real with Him or real with ourselves, and then that's when we're in danger zone.
• 36:00
  SPEAKER_05: Right.
• 36:01
  SPEAKER_01: We're in danger zone of an expectation from others that you're gonna be the super Christian, right, uh, super leader, super connected with the Lord like nobody else is, but it's not the case.
• 36:11
  SPEAKER_01: And we can look at scripture and find out that the leaders are in the same boat of struggle, struggle, struggle.
• 36:17
  SPEAKER_01: So this isn't a struggle because it's not real, it's a struggle because of warfare.
• 36:22
  SPEAKER_01: It's a struggle because of our own minds, our own past, our own current experiences, our own challenges, all those kind of things.
• 36:30
  SPEAKER_01: But at the same time, for whatever reason, God in his infinite wisdom chose you to be the leader in spite of you.
• 36:39
  unknown: Right.
• 36:40
  SPEAKER_06: A lot of times pride comes into play in such a significant way.
• 36:44
  SPEAKER_06: And not necessarily exactly the way that sounds, but when people's expectations of you are so high, it is really hard to show yourself grace and mercy.
• 36:55
  SPEAKER_06: And that's when you start putting on these faces that really become a barrier to other people and the Lord being able to give you the support you need to do the job you have been called to do.
• 37:08
  SPEAKER_01: Exactly.
• 37:09
  SPEAKER_01: Exactly.
• 37:09
  SPEAKER_06: Because you you always put on the mask.
• 37:13
  SPEAKER_06: You always put on the mask.
• 37:14
  SPEAKER_01: You're afraid not to.
• 37:15
  SPEAKER_01: Yes.
• 37:16
  SPEAKER_01: The one thing, Lamanda, I think that that uh you have been very transparent about with your team as well as even on this podcast more than one time, is your vulnerability about how you struggle between the business aspect and the ministry aspect, trusting the Lord and trying to raise money and all those kind of things.
• 37:34
  SPEAKER_01: And and and I think again, if you're listening right now and you are struggling with your uh trust in the Lord and um your your the the challenges you're having just making it go forward.
• 37:47
  SPEAKER_01: Maybe you're CEO, maybe you are a housewife, maybe you are a house husband, maybe you are whatever you are right now, maybe raising young kids, and you're just not sure which ends us up.
• 37:58
  SPEAKER_01: Well, everybody is in that boat, but that does not say that the Lord is not real, that he's not there.
• 38:03
  SPEAKER_01: Right.
• 38:04
  SPEAKER_01: He is waiting for us to find him and follow him.
• 38:08
  SPEAKER_01: And even in ministry, as a CEO of a big ministry here in Topeka, Kansas, you have got to do the same thing.
• 38:14
  SPEAKER_01: Yeah.
• 38:15
  SPEAKER_00: You know, I'm gonna jump for two things here.
• 38:18
  SPEAKER_00: One, um, we were blessed to be able to hear from Cliff Robinson.
• 38:24
  SPEAKER_00: Um, he is the COO of all of Chick-fil-A.
• 38:28
  SPEAKER_00: And um, so business.
• 38:32
  unknown: Yes.
• 38:33
  SPEAKER_00: I think we all do.
• 38:34
  SPEAKER_00: He's he's happy about that.
• 38:36
  SPEAKER_00: I'm so sure he is.
• 38:37
  SPEAKER_00: And it was was pretty comical.
• 38:39
  SPEAKER_00: Um, you know, it gets so heavy and so serious, and it's because these trainings and stuff are, but there's also lightheartedness.
• 38:47
  SPEAKER_00: I mean, we're still people, we laugh, we do.
• 38:49
  SPEAKER_00: But one of the jokes was um someone in the room didn't realize that Cliff was already there, um the CEO of Chick-fil-A.
• 38:58
  SPEAKER_00: And so the funny question was asked to all the CO or CEOs Um, what's your comfort food?
• 39:04
  SPEAKER_00: Like when you've had the worst day and you're like, I'm just ready to eat, what is it?
• 39:07
  SPEAKER_00: And someone mentioned a sandwich or something from like church's chicken or something, and Cliff's back there behind my table.
• 39:16
  SPEAKER_00: And so then it was this we've got Chick-fil-A in here.
• 39:19
  SPEAKER_00: And then the man was like, Oh, it was hysterical.
• 39:21
  SPEAKER_00: Well, when Cliff got on the stage, he starts off and he's serious, but then he looks over at that man and he goes, and it's okay that you don't eat Chick-fil-A, just go and eat with them on Sunday because we're closed.
• 39:31
  SPEAKER_00: And so it was the whole room just cracked up laughing, you know.
• 39:34
  SPEAKER_00: And he was like, Because that's the Lord's day.
• 39:35
  SPEAKER_00: And I mean, it was just it was so funny.
• 39:37
  SPEAKER_00: So sometimes it's not all about just taking your notes and applying.
• 39:42
  SPEAKER_00: Like sometimes we just need to breathe and we just need to enjoy each other as people.
• 39:45
  SPEAKER_00: Yeah.
• 39:46
  SPEAKER_01: And understand that there is a variety of different personalities, people and tastes.
• 39:50
  SPEAKER_01: Yes.
• 39:51
  SPEAKER_01: And they're not all cookie-cuttered into the same thing.
• 39:53
  SPEAKER_01: It's it's a hodgepodge.
• 39:55
  SPEAKER_01: It is.
• 39:55
  SPEAKER_01: No rhyme, no reason sometimes.
• 39:57
  SPEAKER_00: Correct.
• 39:57
  SPEAKER_00: So, and talking about how you know you've talked about just this real struggle and um the value of being able to realize like, yep, there are very high expectations on CEOs, and maybe so more for even ministry leaders, but then those high expectations have to be balanced with also we're walking our own sanctification process.
• 40:19
  SPEAKER_00: Like we're we're in the flesh, we're people.
• 40:22
  SPEAKER_00: And one of the things that I loved by Cliff, um, he quoted someone, and I'm sorry I didn't get the person's name, but talked about the quote, more happens in circles than in rows.
• 40:35
  SPEAKER_00: More happens in circles than in rows.
• 40:38
  SPEAKER_00: And um, I've really thought about that on several occasions since coming back.
• 40:44
  SPEAKER_00: And I I thought about that in two different ways.
• 40:48
  SPEAKER_00: Um, I thought about it in just training in general.
• 40:51
  SPEAKER_00: Um, I know the team thinks I'm crazy, but I've been very big since coming here, and that's probably ingrained in me because of the educator.
• 40:58
  SPEAKER_00: But we don't intend, I don't present, I don't do meetings with our staff in rows.
• 41:04
  SPEAKER_00: It drives me nuts.
• 41:05
  SPEAKER_00: I want us to be in a horse shaped, or I want us to be in two different horse shapes, or I want us to be a big square, depending on the size, because I don't ever want things to feel like a set and get.
• 41:16
  SPEAKER_00: I want it to be discussion.
• 41:18
  SPEAKER_00: I want to be able to see people's body language.
• 41:20
  SPEAKER_00: I want them to be able to see my expressions.
• 41:22
  SPEAKER_00: It's important to me.
• 41:23
  SPEAKER_00: And when they said that, I was just thinking about learning in general.
• 41:27
  SPEAKER_00: More happens in rows or in circles than in rows.
• 41:30
  SPEAKER_00: It allows us to just probably be more vulnerable.
• 41:34
  SPEAKER_00: It allows us to be able to have more intimate discussions, it allows us to even have a discussion versus just feeling like we're coming here, we're listening, and we're leaving.
• 41:43
  SPEAKER_00: Um, so that applied.
• 41:45
  SPEAKER_00: But I also kind of applied it to a little bit of symbolism of church.
• 41:51
  SPEAKER_00: Um, not all churches, I know, but a lot of times churches are in rows.
• 41:55
  SPEAKER_00: And I I am someone I attend church every week.
• 41:59
  SPEAKER_00: Um, our family also attends on Wednesdays when there's um opportunities and things like that.
• 42:05
  SPEAKER_00: I serve in a couple of different places of my church, so I love my church.
• 42:09
  SPEAKER_00: However, um, even though my pastor is amazing and I love the people I go to church with, it's oftentimes in our small group that we're attending with that meets around another couple's table and around mine and my husband's table when we um go through the sermon that day, and when we're looking at points and what made sense to us, what are we not sure about?
• 42:34
  SPEAKER_00: Was there something we disagreed on?
• 42:36
  SPEAKER_00: Why did we disagree?
• 42:37
  SPEAKER_00: Um, why did we feel very strongly about that?
• 42:40
  SPEAKER_00: Those kinds of things.
• 42:41
  SPEAKER_00: So the rose, something happens, but that grows in circles.
• 42:48
  SPEAKER_00: And so that simple statement that Cliff even just started his conversation and his whole learning, I walked away with like pages of the hiring process and taking care of people, and why is Chick-fil-A able to have the same amount of amazing customer service in Topeka, Kansas that they are in Denver, Colorado.
• 43:09
  SPEAKER_00: It's the training, it's the mission.
• 43:11
  SPEAKER_00: And so it was so great.
• 43:13
  SPEAKER_00: But honestly, one of the things I walked away from was him setting this tone of remember, whether you're pouring into your staff, whether it's your own personal growth, whether it's professional development, whenever you can do it in a more collaborative way than just people coming in and sitting down and someone taking a stage, it matters.
• 43:34
  SPEAKER_00: So that was huge.
• 43:36
  SPEAKER_00: But also to go back to what you said about this, sometimes there's just kind of this understanding of, well, whoever, myself or whoever, they lead a ministry, and that means they've got to be rock solid with the Lord all the time.
• 43:50
  SPEAKER_00: And gosh, they're never gonna sin or whatever the case may be.
• 43:55
  SPEAKER_00: Yes, right, or have road rage or anything like that.
• 43:58
  SPEAKER_00: Um One of the things that I have wrestled with, um, more on a personal level, but is this things just keep happening, and I'm just like, God, why are you allowing this?
• 44:12
  SPEAKER_00: Like you have the power to change it and you're not.
• 44:16
  SPEAKER_00: And I wrestle with him.
• 44:17
  SPEAKER_00: And then I apply that same wrestle personally when I see someone with the recidivism through TRM.
• 44:25
  SPEAKER_00: Like it breaks my heart when I see someone hurt and fall back into addiction, or they've been housed and they can't remain housed for whatever reason.
• 44:42
  SPEAKER_00: And sometimes I wish I could say that I always, with my own personal struggle or someone else's, I wish my prayer would be this, Barry.
• 44:51
  SPEAKER_00: I wish I would say, Lord, I don't understand it.
• 44:54
  SPEAKER_00: My ways are not your ways, but I'm gonna trust you and and I know you're gonna protect that person, and I know you're using this for my good.
• 45:02
  SPEAKER_00: I wish I could tell you that is how Lamanda Cunningham prays all the time.
• 45:06
  SPEAKER_00: It isn't.
• 45:08
  SPEAKER_00: Do I hope that I pray that way more than not?
• 45:10
  SPEAKER_00: Yes, and I probably do.
• 45:12
  SPEAKER_00: But there are some times where my prayer goes, God, are you kidding me?
• 45:18
  SPEAKER_00: This again, like sitting in this podcast, I've just gotten a notification of something else happening in my personal life.
• 45:25
  SPEAKER_00: And I want to just be like, Lord, why?
• 45:31
  SPEAKER_00: And I almost want to plead, do you see what it's doing to me?
• 45:35
  SPEAKER_00: Do you see what it's doing?
• 45:36
  SPEAKER_00: I passed somebody driving today when I pulled into the children's palace and I saw him not physically hurting, but just I see it, right?
• 45:45
  SPEAKER_00: And I'm like, God, why are some people healed?
• 45:50
  SPEAKER_00: And some people, I have seen struggle since the first day that I started here when I went to map and they're still struggling.
• 45:58
  SPEAKER_00: Why?
• 45:59
  SPEAKER_00: And Lord Jesus healed people, and we still see miracles happening.
• 46:05
  SPEAKER_00: Like, why can't you do that for that guy on that curb right now?
• 46:08
  SPEAKER_00: And my prayer is not always this.
• 46:12
  SPEAKER_01: What answer do you get?
• 46:14
  SPEAKER_00: Sometimes I don't get an answer.
• 46:16
  SPEAKER_00: And then that's more frustrating because then I have two choices.
• 46:20
  SPEAKER_00: Do I quit praying because nothing's being done?
• 46:24
  SPEAKER_00: What I feel like.
• 46:26
  SPEAKER_00: And do I quit praying because it seems pointless?
• 46:29
  SPEAKER_00: Because the hurt's still there, the worry's still there, no change seems to happen.
• 46:35
  SPEAKER_00: That's an option.
• 46:36
  SPEAKER_00: And I, just like the person under the Kansas Avenue Bridge struggling, we have that option.
• 46:42
  SPEAKER_00: We have the free will to say, I'm no longer gonna believe.
• 46:46
  SPEAKER_00: It's not working, it's happening for everyone else.
• 46:50
  SPEAKER_00: And sometimes I am in that mood, embarrassingly, but I am.
• 46:56
  SPEAKER_00: Or do I realize what I know, which is sometimes we have to choose faith because we don't have it.
• 47:06
  SPEAKER_00: I wish I could tell every listener on here that the day you surrender your life to the Lord and you believe in salvation and your heart is the Lord's, that you then say, and I'm gonna walk in faith the rest of my life.
• 47:17
  SPEAKER_01: And some people promote it that way and they become very disappointed when they find out that's not the way.
• 47:23
  SPEAKER_00: Yeah.
• 47:23
  SPEAKER_00: And I'm not saying that it's a good thing when I'm in that first option, right?
• 47:29
  SPEAKER_00: Where I'm saying, God, I don't even want to talk to you right now.
• 47:33
  SPEAKER_00: I am so angry that this happened, I am so devastated, whatever the case may be.
• 47:38
  SPEAKER_00: I'm not saying that's a good thing, but I am saying it's a reality, and it really is a reality of all believers at some time.
• 47:46
  SPEAKER_00: The other side is, or do I know the truth about God's character?
• 47:53
  SPEAKER_00: Because it's in scripture.
• 47:54
  SPEAKER_00: Yes.
• 47:55
  SPEAKER_00: And sometimes when I say, Lord, I feel like you have forgotten to change this, or Lord, you're supposed to be a good God and this doesn't feel good, I have to remind myself that nowhere in scripture does it say, and God's character changes with circumstance.
• 48:13
  SPEAKER_00: There's this little asterisk, or or God is this unless it pertains to Lamanda Cunningham, right?
• 48:20
  SPEAKER_00: Or, yep, God can do that, but no, he's not working in Topeka.
• 48:27
  SPEAKER_00: Those are lies from the enemy, but they're believable because they're rooted in doubt, they're rooted in loneliness, they're rooted in isolation.
• 48:40
  SPEAKER_00: Fear.
• 48:40
  SPEAKER_00: Yeah, the unknown, exhaustion, right?
• 48:44
  SPEAKER_00: And so one of the things that really blessed me on a personal level, but also professional, was um a man named Tinsley.
• 48:53
  SPEAKER_00: He is a CEO in Atlanta, uh, very well spoken.
• 48:56
  SPEAKER_00: Um, I wish I could just go into even just the comical part of him.
• 49:02
  SPEAKER_00: Um, but he he talked about he was not a Christian and then called to the Lord and then ended up being in ministry, which is funny for a lot of us.
• 49:12
  SPEAKER_00: But his whole session was on do you have peace in the middle?
• 49:19
  SPEAKER_00: Peace in the middle.
• 49:20
  SPEAKER_00: And so basically, sometimes we have um a part of our life, and it might be good, or it might have been turning into a problem, or it might be stressors, whatever this beginning point is.
• 49:40
  SPEAKER_00: And we're not just still there, but the Lord has not given us any solutions, the Lord has not taken anything away.
• 49:50
  SPEAKER_00: The next step of um healing hasn't happened, whatever it is.
• 49:55
  SPEAKER_00: So you're currently in this dilemma, this problem, this stress, and you're not trying to stay there yet.
• 50:05
  SPEAKER_00: It hasn't been delivered yet, it hasn't been answered, it hasn't been fixed, whatever the adjective is or the verb.
• 50:13
  SPEAKER_00: Um do you have peace in the middle?
• 50:16
  SPEAKER_00: And as soon as he asked that, I turned to my husband and I said, I just need to walk out because this is not gonna help me at all.
• 50:25
  SPEAKER_00: And Stephen said, Oh no, I've got your chair, you can't move, you know.
• 50:30
  SPEAKER_00: And he walks on to talk about are you as a believer seeking God's peace in the in between?
• 50:40
  SPEAKER_00: Or are you begging him for relief?
• 50:43
  SPEAKER_00: Because it's really easy for us to have peace that makes sense.
• 50:50
  SPEAKER_00: And peace that makes sense is financial security.
• 50:53
  SPEAKER_00: Peace that makes sense is when your relationships are all on fire and great in a way, you know.
• 50:58
  SPEAKER_00: Uh peace uh that makes sense is when your community loves what you're doing and you're getting awards and you look like the community savior.
• 51:06
  SPEAKER_00: And peace that makes sense is wonderful when um you've had a diagnosis and you're healed, or the diagnosis was wrong.
• 51:15
  SPEAKER_00: That's all peace that makes sense.
• 51:19
  SPEAKER_00: Yet that doesn't require faith, and peace that makes sense also goes away.
• 51:30
  SPEAKER_00: So it's not bad to experience those good things, but that does not sustain us.
• 51:36
  SPEAKER_00: Awards do not sustain us.
• 51:38
  SPEAKER_00: Fabulous relationships that never have conflict are not true, all these different things.
• 51:44
  SPEAKER_00: And so he said, um, so if you're facing a diagnosis, if you are um facing financial insecurity, if you are facing um friendships or marriages or anything that you're like, this is on the rocks, this is not good.
• 52:02
  SPEAKER_00: Can you still survive that?
• 52:05
  SPEAKER_00: And if you are only pleading to the Lord relief, it's a normal reaction.
• 52:11
  SPEAKER_00: Nobody wakes up every day and goes, I can't wait for the hurt that I'm gonna experience because I know it's gonna be great.
• 52:18
  SPEAKER_00: So praying for relief is something that I have done personally and professionally for a long time on different subjects.
• 52:27
  SPEAKER_00: And I know that the Lord hears those prayers, and um, I know that the Lord also probably desires for me not to hurt because of his love for me.
• 52:39
  SPEAKER_00: Yet, because I'm not God and I don't see the full picture, really what the Lord wants me to do and believe, and I think this is the case for everyone, is even when we don't understand, even when there's hurt, that we should be saying, God, we just want to be with you.
• 53:00
  SPEAKER_00: And we just want to remind ourselves of what we know in scripture, promises, um, how even some of the hardest stories we see in the Bible, um, we also saw God working and all of these things.
• 53:14
  SPEAKER_00: And that then gives you peace that doesn't make sense.
• 53:18
  SPEAKER_00: And peace that doesn't make sense is not based on earthly things that go away.
• 53:27
  SPEAKER_00: And when you can understand and grasp and accept peace that doesn't make sense over the desire for relief, you've reached a different understanding of experiencing the Lord.
• 53:44
  SPEAKER_06: Which is ironically no rhyme or reason.
• 53:49
  SPEAKER_06: That's right.
• 53:50
  SPEAKER_06: I keep looking at this here and no rhyme or reasoning.
• 53:53
  SPEAKER_00: And that that is really faith.
• 53:56
  SPEAKER_00: And one of the things he said was Um we have to be okay with understanding God doesn't always want to fix the issues.
• 54:06
  SPEAKER_00: Sometimes he's wanting to use it.
• 54:09
  SPEAKER_00: Are we willing?
• 54:11
  SPEAKER_00: Um, and then I'm summarizing, but understanding that relief says, great, the problem is gone.
• 54:19
  SPEAKER_00: God's peace says the problem's still here, but so is God.
• 54:24
  SPEAKER_00: And I think that that is something that I don't ever want to be the person that is always seeming dramatic or the one that always cries, or the one that maybe even seems like Debbie Downer.
• 54:38
  SPEAKER_00: No offense to all the Debbie's, I love Debbie's, but um there is a part where I feel like part of my calling, not that I would have asked for it, let me just preface that.
• 54:50
  SPEAKER_00: Part of the reason God has entrusted me to lead this ministry is to use my own mess to relate to other people and theirs.
• 55:03
  SPEAKER_00: And on one hand, that's beautiful, and I'm thankful.
• 55:10
  SPEAKER_00: Um because I know God is working.
• 55:18
  SPEAKER_00: On the other hand, selfishly, I'm kind of like, but couldn't you just use me and I have it all together and everything's okay.
• 55:24
  SPEAKER_01: Let me write it in a book and have that part be over with.
• 55:27
  SPEAKER_01: Yeah.
• 55:28
  SPEAKER_00: Um but, anyways, I know when I was listening to this that I have been guilty of not even chasing after the Lord sometimes in my time of problem and and hurt and all of that, because my prayers are just like, God help me get through this, show me the answers, all of this.
• 55:51
  SPEAKER_00: And so one of the things that I really walked away from them is when was the last time I just whether it was on a walk or sitting on my couch or waking up in the morning, going to bed, when did I just say, God, I'm just here?
• 56:09
  SPEAKER_00: I'm not gonna sit here and tell you about all the issues.
• 56:12
  SPEAKER_00: I'm not gonna, they're all still there.
• 56:14
  SPEAKER_00: TRM's needs are still there, personal needs are still there, but right now, God, I just want to love you.
• 56:22
  SPEAKER_00: I just want to thank you.
• 56:24
  SPEAKER_00: I just want to tell you I need you.
• 56:27
  SPEAKER_00: And I'm really just gonna be okay in the quiet.
• 56:31
  SPEAKER_00: I'm gonna be okay in the no response, and I'm not gonna spend the next 20 minutes focusing on everything that I feel like I need, and I just want to be here with you.
• 56:45
  SPEAKER_00: And it's only been a week, but I cannot believe how having a balance, right?
• 56:54
  SPEAKER_00: And a mixture, I guess I should say probably more so than balance, this mixture of prayer request and supplication and and depending on the Lord, but also not saying a word, but designating time.
• 57:09
  SPEAKER_00: I'm not on my phone, I'm not answering emails, I'm not scrolling social media, I am just saying, God, I need your presence, and I'm right here.
• 57:18
  SPEAKER_00: I cannot believe what a reset that has been for me.
• 57:22
  SPEAKER_00: I still have no answers.
• 57:24
  SPEAKER_00: As we're sitting here, my problem is still growing, whether it's some of the stuff we've gotten at TRM, my personal things, it's all still there.
• 57:32
  SPEAKER_00: What's different is, I hope, is I hope each day or maybe each month, and not that I'm not gonna backslide, I hope that each challenge I'm a bit more focused on God's sovereignty and what God's done for years than I am being focused on what I feel like he's not doing in this moment.
• 58:01
  SPEAKER_06: And it goes exactly back to what you said in the very beginning, which is in order to be refreshed, you must surrender.
• 58:10
  SPEAKER_01: So you took some time to get away and you have a week into this, and the you know, God met you where you needed to be.
• 58:18
  SPEAKER_01: And um, you were encouraged by uh your sidekick over here to go ahead and try it again, even though you gave her a really hard time for a whole year.
• 58:26
  SPEAKER_01: That was a bad decision.
• 58:27
  SPEAKER_01: Um to listen up.
• 58:28
  SPEAKER_01: I survived.
• 58:29
  SPEAKER_01: You did.
• 58:30
  SPEAKER_01: And you do survive a lot.
• 58:32
  SPEAKER_01: Um you you listened, you took a chance, by faith, you stepped out, God met you there.
• 58:38
  SPEAKER_01: And and the reason I'm kind of unpacking all this, this isn't just about you today, obviously.
• 58:42
  SPEAKER_01: This is about people who are listening, this is about what God is doing in your life as leader.
• 58:47
  SPEAKER_01: Uh the most effective general in a military, the most effective coach on a football team or a basketball team is somebody who's played, who's been out there on the front lines, who who started out um taking the hits, um, to be able to lead others who are taking the hits.
• 59:02
  SPEAKER_01: You are uh leading in a way in this ministry, Lamanda, that um is important for you to have these very transparent challenges and brokenness for your team, but additionally for the people your team serves.
• 59:17
  SPEAKER_01: Those who are questioning that person that's under the bridge today, that person that's standing in front of the door of the rescue mission.
• 59:22
  SPEAKER_01: So, I'm not sure I want to go in there.
• 59:24
  SPEAKER_01: Um that person that went in there, I'm not sure I want to stay.
• 59:27
  SPEAKER_01: I'm not sure, you know, boy, that math sure sounds good right now.
• 59:30
  SPEAKER_01: Uh I I need another drink really bad.
• 59:32
  SPEAKER_01: I I I um my mental illness is just, you know, it's who I am.
• 59:37
  SPEAKER_01: I'm never gonna be anybody any different.
• 59:39
  SPEAKER_01: Those are the kind of things that all that we try to do with our modern techniques and and our our our services that we try to um help heal people with, whether it's medical, mental, psychological, um just practical, those are tools, but nothing compares to what God is trying to bring us to, and that is to trust in Him and then to walk the journey as He's dictated what the journey is going to be, not us.
• 1:00:10
  SPEAKER_01: And so you um in this um five plus years now um of leadership here, um, you're continuing to be refined, um, not just for you, which is very important for you and your family.
• 1:00:24
  SPEAKER_01: But this ministry and every single person that God has entrusted into your hands.
• 1:00:29
  SPEAKER_01: And thank God for the Citigate Network, started over a hundred years ago, for Tom DeFries, for the team, for these other CEOs that could transparently share with each other their hopes, dreams, and mistakes.
• 1:00:42
  SPEAKER_01: Um and at the same time, we've got a God who sometimes has no rhyme or reason the way he does anything, but it says like today's celebrated.
• 1:00:50
  SPEAKER_01: Go ahead and delight in the unexpected.
• 1:00:53
  SPEAKER_01: Go ahead and delight in the uncertainty.
• 1:00:55
  SPEAKER_01: Go ahead and delight in the fact that you know you can trust him.
• 1:00:58
  SPEAKER_01: Yes, because of what the Bible says, but sometimes just because it's inside of you that says this is what I am.
• 1:01:05
  SPEAKER_01: So, Lamanda, thank you for sharing your um just a little bit of your experience, which is very profound there, and I'm sure that it's going to um unfold more and more personally for you as well as the ministry and those that it touches in this community.
• 1:01:18
  SPEAKER_01: And for those that you are listening, uh, you know this podcast is more uh more than just reporting about what happens.
• 1:01:25
  SPEAKER_01: Um it goes deep sometimes, right, Miriam?
• 1:01:27
  SPEAKER_01: It does.
• 1:01:28
  SPEAKER_01: And so uh I think that that is one of the values of something like this.
• 1:01:32
  SPEAKER_01: It does take a while to listen to a podcast of this length, but I think if you stayed with us or it's been valuable to you, just ask the Lord what he is doing in your life right now and know that you can trust him.
• 1:01:44
  SPEAKER_01: Uh know that that it's not just words, it's it's real, and uh maybe take some time uh to come apart so you don't fall apart.
• 1:01:54
  SPEAKER_01: Thank you for listening to our community, our mission, a podcast of the Topeka Rescue Mission.
• 1:01:58
  SPEAKER_01: If you'd like more information about TRM, you can go to TRMonline.org.
• 1:02:03
  SPEAKER_01: T R Monline.org.
• 1:02:06
  SPEAKER_01: Thank you for listening.