Latest / The Ben and Ashley I Almost Famous Podcast / Dirty Rush: She said She said

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Dirty Rush: She said She said · The Ben and Ashley I Almost Famous Podcast

• 0:01
  Speaker 1: Welcome to Dirty Rush, The Truth about Sorority Life with
• 0:04
  Speaker 1: your hosts me Gia Judice.
• 0:06
  Speaker 2: Daisy Kent, and Jennifer Kessler. Hi, you guys, welcome back
• 0:13
  Speaker 2: to another episode of Dirty Rush, Rush Week, Best Week
• 0:16
  Speaker 2: of your life or absolute nightmare. Today on Dirty Rush,
• 0:20
  Speaker 2: we're talking Rush, love it or hate it and hearing
• 0:23
  Speaker 2: directly from people who lived it and survived it. So
• 0:26
  Speaker 2: first we are bringing in Kate Hi. Kate Hi, Hi,
• 0:31
  Speaker 2: where'd you go to school?
• 0:32
  Speaker 1: I went to school at TCU.
• 0:35
  Speaker 2: Ah Texas girl. Yeah, I went to ut SO and TCU.
• 0:40
  Speaker 2: From what I hear, TCU has an intense rush.
• 0:44
  Speaker 3: It is pretty intense.
• 0:45
  Speaker 4: Yeah.
• 0:45
  Speaker 1: We have thirteen houses and there's so many girls, so
• 0:47
  Speaker 1: it's really interesting.
• 0:49
  Speaker 2: Wow. Well listen today I want to hear from you
• 0:52
  Speaker 2: if you loved it or you hated it. We're talking
• 0:55
  Speaker 2: about the whole process of it and obviously it could
• 0:57
  Speaker 2: be nerve wracking, thrilling, scary. So we're just trying to,
• 1:03
  Speaker 2: you know, talk to some of you guys and see
• 1:05
  Speaker 2: different opinions.
• 1:06
  Speaker 4: How was it for you? How is rush personally?
• 1:09
  Speaker 1: I like following my sisters to my school was really
• 1:12
  Speaker 1: interesting because one of my sisters has graduated and one
• 1:16
  Speaker 1: is currently an active member and she's a senior, and
• 1:19
  Speaker 1: so I went in with a lot of preconceived notions
• 1:21
  Speaker 1: about like sororities, and like I knew their friends that
• 1:25
  Speaker 1: were in their sororities were in different ones.
• 1:27
  Speaker 3: And then my sister who's currently a senior, she lives with.
• 1:30
  Speaker 1: All Kappas, but she's a Sigma Kappa, so like I
• 1:34
  Speaker 1: knew her Kapa friends, and I just like knew so
• 1:36
  Speaker 1: many people going in. So it was nice to see
• 1:38
  Speaker 1: like the type of girls that were in each But
• 1:40
  Speaker 1: I think that like I really didn't know until I went,
• 1:44
  Speaker 1: like what I would actually think about the sororities.
• 1:46
  Speaker 3: But I think it was nice like being able to.
• 1:48
  Speaker 1: Go in with like an idea of what I was
• 1:51
  Speaker 1: setting myself up for and what kind of girls were.
• 1:53
  Speaker 2: Like it was it helped us sort of like it
• 1:55
  Speaker 2: helped us sort of dissipate the nerves a little bit.
• 1:57
  Speaker 3: Yeah, totally.
• 1:58
  Speaker 4: Yeah, although I'm I mean, you tell me, were you nervous?
• 2:01
  Speaker 2: I was?
• 2:02
  Speaker 4: I remember?
• 2:02
  Speaker 3: I was, Yeah, I was nervous.
• 2:04
  Speaker 1: I mean it's a lot to live up to, especially
• 2:06
  Speaker 1: both of like my older sisters being in an austhrority
• 2:11
  Speaker 1: going through RUSSI and it going pretty well for both
• 2:13
  Speaker 1: of them, So that was interesting. But I think I
• 2:17
  Speaker 1: was more excited than nervous because I knew that I
• 2:21
  Speaker 1: like felt confident and like had so many resources, and yeah,
• 2:25
  Speaker 1: I was just more excited.
• 2:26
  Speaker 4: I think, did you know you kind of know? Did
• 2:29
  Speaker 4: you kind of know what it was going to be
• 2:30
  Speaker 4: like before?
• 2:31
  Speaker 2: You know? I think some people go in blind, but
• 2:33
  Speaker 2: it sounds like I know you probably knew the rundown, right.
• 2:37
  Speaker 3: Yeah, totally.
• 2:38
  Speaker 4: Do you have an easy time talking to people?
• 2:40
  Speaker 1: I do have a pretty easy time talking to people.
• 2:42
  Speaker 1: I think that like knowing especially what question like what
• 2:44
  Speaker 1: type of questions they were going to ask, and like
• 2:46
  Speaker 1: what we're going to be talking about and what not
• 2:48
  Speaker 1: to mention and things like that. I think that it
• 2:50
  Speaker 1: was like really easy. And I'm a people person, so
• 2:53
  Speaker 1: it was like just exciting to have conversations with girls
• 2:56
  Speaker 1: my age.
• 2:57
  Speaker 2: Yeah, of course, so you were kind of you were prepared. Yeah,
• 3:01
  Speaker 2: I think it probably does change things, you know, it
• 3:05
  Speaker 2: just kind of knowing how it's going to go, especially
• 3:07
  Speaker 2: like what kind of questions you're gonna get asked?
• 3:09
  Speaker 4: What kind of questions did you get asked?
• 3:11
  Speaker 1: I mean it's a lot of the same conversation over
• 3:13
  Speaker 1: and over again, like going into the different houses and
• 3:15
  Speaker 1: especially it depends on the round. But like philanthropy was
• 3:17
  Speaker 1: so baseline, just like where are you from, what do
• 3:20
  Speaker 1: you like to do? What's your major? Like what building
• 3:22
  Speaker 1: do you live in? And like how's move in and
• 3:24
  Speaker 1: stuff like that, because I did it's false semester rush
• 3:27
  Speaker 1: and so it was all very general and then like
• 3:30
  Speaker 1: as it went on, just like not mentioning like what
• 3:34
  Speaker 1: do they say, like the three b's or whatever and stuff.
• 3:36
  Speaker 4: Like that, what are those?
• 3:38
  Speaker 1: It's booze boys and Bible? And then other people say
• 3:42
  Speaker 1: like Biden's like not politics or there's another I can't remember,
• 3:46
  Speaker 1: but like you just like shouldn't mention those things. But
• 3:48
  Speaker 1: like in probably half of the conversations I had, I
• 3:50
  Speaker 1: mentioned them.
• 3:51
  Speaker 3: Really I won't say, I'll.
• 3:53
  Speaker 1: Like advise that, but I think it's like okay, if
• 3:55
  Speaker 1: you let us sleep a few times, because we're all
• 3:57
  Speaker 1: like humanues just girls having conversations. But yeah, it was
• 4:02
  Speaker 1: all like very similar conversations every time I'd go into
• 4:05
  Speaker 1: like a different house. But it's just like fun talking
• 4:08
  Speaker 1: to like girls my age about fun things.
• 4:11
  Speaker 2: Were there any were there any points of it even
• 4:12
  Speaker 2: though you know, you did sort of know what you
• 4:14
  Speaker 2: were getting into. Were there any points where you were
• 4:17
  Speaker 2: really nervous or you know, stressed because you love the
• 4:21
  Speaker 2: girls that you didn't expect to love, or was there
• 4:24
  Speaker 2: any of that or was it just did you sort
• 4:26
  Speaker 2: of we were able to breeze through it.
• 4:27
  Speaker 1: I wouldn't say it was like a total breeze through
• 4:29
  Speaker 1: for me because obviously, like I kind of well, my
• 4:33
  Speaker 1: sister is like a senior, so she's an active member,
• 4:36
  Speaker 1: and going in I like thought of her soulrity obviously
• 4:39
  Speaker 1: as an option, so I didn't really like know if
• 4:43
  Speaker 1: that's what I like for sure wanted or not. But
• 4:46
  Speaker 1: like going into the houses that I got back, I
• 4:48
  Speaker 1: was most nervous about s K, which is signal happened
• 4:52
  Speaker 1: which my sister's in, because I like felt so under
• 4:55
  Speaker 1: pressure because like if I didn't care, I didn't even
• 4:58
  Speaker 1: know if I wanted it for sure, but like if
• 4:59
  Speaker 1: I didn't get it or if it didn't go well,
• 5:01
  Speaker 1: I just felt like, oh, like that's weird, Like I
• 5:03
  Speaker 1: should like be good in it because like my sister's.
• 5:06
  Speaker 4: In it, So that's pressure and right, some that I.
• 5:09
  Speaker 3: Didn't know any about.
• 5:09
  Speaker 1: It was really fun to go to those ones because
• 5:11
  Speaker 1: like I didn't have any like expectations that I could
• 5:14
  Speaker 1: just like really freely like say whatever, and like the
• 5:16
  Speaker 1: girls were so nice, So that was fun.
• 5:18
  Speaker 3: Like there are some other ones that, like.
• 5:20
  Speaker 1: Some girls from my high school that are like older
• 5:23
  Speaker 1: when so seeing them was pretty nerve wracking, but it
• 5:27
  Speaker 1: was really fun to like have familiar faces.
• 5:30
  Speaker 4: Do you feel like you rushed?
• 5:32
  Speaker 2: Well, you went in, I guess because you you were
• 5:33
  Speaker 2: definitely going to rush, there was no doubt about it.
• 5:35
  Speaker 2: But did you feel like maybe I didn't need to
• 5:39
  Speaker 2: take this path or did you ever you know, regret
• 5:41
  Speaker 2: it or were you did it all just feel like
• 5:44
  Speaker 2: this is what I was supposed to do.
• 5:45
  Speaker 1: I mean, yeah, there's like a little bit of both.
• 5:47
  Speaker 1: I don't think that if I had older sisters, I
• 5:51
  Speaker 1: would have been the type of person to rush.
• 5:53
  Speaker 4: Really why not?
• 5:54
  Speaker 3: I don't know.
• 5:54
  Speaker 1: I Also, like with going to TCU, I don't think
• 5:57
  Speaker 1: I would have gone there if like a bunch of
• 5:59
  Speaker 1: people from my high school. Yeah, because we're from Nevada.
• 6:02
  Speaker 1: It's like so random to go to Texas from Nevada. Yeah,
• 6:07
  Speaker 1: just like eventually, like people started going a lot, and
• 6:10
  Speaker 1: then both my sisters went, and then I visited so
• 6:12
  Speaker 1: much that I ended up loving it. But I think
• 6:14
  Speaker 1: that if I didn't go to TC, I would have
• 6:16
  Speaker 1: gone to like Boulder or something more like outdoors or
• 6:18
  Speaker 1: like something like that. But I mean, I'm so glad
• 6:21
  Speaker 1: that like I have like been brat on this path
• 6:23
  Speaker 1: and like followed my sisters because it's so much fun,
• 6:26
  Speaker 1: and like I think that now it's like totally where
• 6:28
  Speaker 1: I was meant to be. But I don't know if
• 6:29
  Speaker 1: I would have like sought it out myself and then
• 6:31
  Speaker 1: like in terms of RUSH, I think I maybe would
• 6:35
  Speaker 1: have done it like no matter where I went, but
• 6:38
  Speaker 1: like doing it out of Southern School is obviously like
• 6:40
  Speaker 1: very different than other things. But yeah, I think it
• 6:43
  Speaker 1: worked out well.
• 6:44
  Speaker 2: Yeah, I'm so glad. All right, guys, So now we
• 7:03
  Speaker 2: are bringing in Sabine Hi. Sabine Hi, so happy, so
• 7:08
  Speaker 2: happy to have you.
• 7:09
  Speaker 4: Welcome.
• 7:11
  Speaker 2: We're talking today about Rush. Loved it, hated it. So
• 7:15
  Speaker 2: I'm just gonna shoot some questions at you. First, I
• 7:18
  Speaker 2: think that you rushed as a junior, Is that right?
• 7:21
  Speaker 4: Yeah?
• 7:21
  Speaker 5: I rushed as a junior, A bit of an unconventional experience,
• 7:25
  Speaker 5: but seriously, like only the highest compliments the entire process,
• 7:29
  Speaker 5: like I had the most in the same time.
• 7:31
  Speaker 4: Really through recruitment.
• 7:32
  Speaker 2: Yeah, yeah, I rushed as a junior too, and I
• 7:36
  Speaker 2: remember feeling I had a I mean, I enjoyed it.
• 7:39
  Speaker 2: I went in there with sort of these you know,
• 7:41
  Speaker 2: I sort of knew where I wanted to be. I
• 7:43
  Speaker 2: was a junior and I had friends in a certain storty.
• 7:46
  Speaker 2: But it was a little strange for me just with
• 7:47
  Speaker 2: all the freshmen. I don't know, you felt like you
• 7:50
  Speaker 2: didn't feel any of that.
• 7:51
  Speaker 5: So my experience was a bit different because I'm in
• 7:54
  Speaker 5: a dual degree program, so I spent my first two
• 7:56
  Speaker 5: years studying abroad in France, And so when I got
• 7:59
  Speaker 5: to Berkeley, I only knew like my high school best
• 8:03
  Speaker 5: friends that had chosen to go to school in Berkeley,
• 8:05
  Speaker 5: but and I knew what storties they were in. But
• 8:07
  Speaker 5: I made the mental note before the process that I
• 8:10
  Speaker 5: didn't want to join a house that my friends were
• 8:12
  Speaker 5: in because I wanted it to be like my own
• 8:14
  Speaker 5: unique experience. I went into it with like zero I
• 8:18
  Speaker 5: knew the houses they were in, and I knew kind
• 8:21
  Speaker 5: of the vibes of the house is. But I went
• 8:23
  Speaker 5: into it and I was like, I'm gonna take this
• 8:25
  Speaker 5: experience as my own. I'm gonna meet the girls, I'm
• 8:27
  Speaker 5: gonna feel the energy of the house, I'm gonna see
• 8:29
  Speaker 5: how the process goes, and I'm gonna go where my
• 8:31
  Speaker 5: gut is. And it wasn't kind of the process. It
• 8:34
  Speaker 5: wasn't the feeling of like I know which one I
• 8:36
  Speaker 5: want to be in and I'm going to do the
• 8:38
  Speaker 5: whole recruitment process just for that house, right like I
• 8:41
  Speaker 5: was there to kind of. I've been thinking a lot
• 8:44
  Speaker 5: about the process in general because I've seriously gained so
• 8:47
  Speaker 5: much from it and being in like I'm in DG
• 8:49
  Speaker 5: now and it's been the most amazing, Like it's been
• 8:52
  Speaker 5: like the experience that changed my time at Berkeley.
• 8:54
  Speaker 4: Really it is DG. Not the one that your friends
• 8:57
  Speaker 4: from high school were in.
• 8:58
  Speaker 5: No, so none of I didn't know anyone going into it, Okay,
• 9:01
  Speaker 5: And I've been reflecting a lot about the process, and
• 9:04
  Speaker 5: I think what changed it for me and what made
• 9:06
  Speaker 5: it this much like this just so incredible, was that
• 9:10
  Speaker 5: for me going into recruitment and joining authority could only
• 9:13
  Speaker 5: be net positive, Like I only was thinking about it
• 9:17
  Speaker 5: in the sense that, like, I got to Berkeley with
• 9:19
  Speaker 5: the most amazing best friends from France, and I felt
• 9:22
  Speaker 5: such an amazing community already that I was like, if
• 9:24
  Speaker 5: I'm going to join a sorority, it's only gonna be awesome, Like,
• 9:27
  Speaker 5: I'm not gonna do it if it's kind of like
• 9:28
  Speaker 5: a in between experiences.
• 9:31
  Speaker 2: Well, okay, So I just have to ask you, because
• 9:32
  Speaker 2: I think that is such a wonderful, positive, fabulous way
• 9:36
  Speaker 2: right to enter into this crazy experience.
• 9:40
  Speaker 4: Are you like that all over the place in real life?
• 9:42
  Speaker 5: I've I really try to be Yeah. Yeah for contact. So,
• 9:47
  Speaker 5: my sister was in a sorority. She went to Purdue
• 9:49
  Speaker 5: University and she was in five U and she also
• 9:53
  Speaker 5: had that experience. So she went through recruitment during COVID,
• 9:55
  Speaker 5: so she did all of her recruitment on zoom. She
• 9:58
  Speaker 5: ended up in a house that fit her like a glove,
• 10:00
  Speaker 5: met the most amazing people, and like I always saw,
• 10:03
  Speaker 5: I saw her experience in her four years in college,
• 10:05
  Speaker 5: and I was like, I want that. But then I
• 10:07
  Speaker 5: went to France, which had nothing close to a sorority. Course,
• 10:11
  Speaker 5: I had a bunch of international students who knew nothing
• 10:13
  Speaker 5: about sorority life, and I've always had this feeling in me,
• 10:16
  Speaker 5: like I was class president in high school. I've always
• 10:19
  Speaker 5: had this sense of like, I know that if I
• 10:21
  Speaker 5: went to a traditional US university for four years, I
• 10:23
  Speaker 5: probably would have done the full like exec sorority experience
• 10:27
  Speaker 5: and have been really involved, just because that's that's a
• 10:30
  Speaker 5: space where I feel the most myself, kind of like
• 10:32
  Speaker 5: a leadership position with a bunch of really positive girls
• 10:36
  Speaker 5: who are happy to be there and want to be
• 10:38
  Speaker 5: a part of this experience and like love just like
• 10:41
  Speaker 5: because you're not in a sorority if you don't want
• 10:43
  Speaker 5: to be in it, you know what I mean. It's
• 10:44
  Speaker 5: like you're paying the dues and you're showing up to
• 10:47
  Speaker 5: the house and you're going to chapter, and if you
• 10:48
  Speaker 5: don't want to be in it, then that really shows.
• 10:50
  Speaker 5: And so I was like, I think I could so
• 10:52
  Speaker 5: see myself in a space in which I'm surrounded by
• 10:54
  Speaker 5: people who all want to be there and all want
• 10:56
  Speaker 5: to be a part of it, And so I think
• 10:58
  Speaker 5: I definitely try and carry that through other parts of
• 11:00
  Speaker 5: my life and do things that feel like they just
• 11:04
  Speaker 5: click for me. And so I went into the experience
• 11:06
  Speaker 5: being like I if this doesn't work on day one,
• 11:09
  Speaker 5: I'll just drop. And then day one I was like,
• 11:12
  Speaker 5: this is awesome, Like this is so fun, like I'm
• 11:15
  Speaker 5: just chatting with people, like everyone's happy to be here,
• 11:18
  Speaker 5: like it was. It was seriously a week that was
• 11:20
  Speaker 5: just fun, Like it was just super fun.
• 11:23
  Speaker 2: I mean, listen, because we're bringing in girls that did
• 11:26
  Speaker 2: not love the process as well, so we're.
• 11:28
  Speaker 4: Talking to a mix.
• 11:29
  Speaker 2: But I think what what is resonating with me is
• 11:33
  Speaker 2: what you said about you knew going in that it
• 11:37
  Speaker 2: was going to be good, right, like you have and
• 11:39
  Speaker 2: I'm sure you know that kind of power positive thinking
• 11:41
  Speaker 2: carries over in all different aspects of your life. But
• 11:43
  Speaker 2: you know, for our listeners, I don't know. I mean
• 11:46
  Speaker 2: I think that that probably made a huge difference. I
• 11:49
  Speaker 2: don't know how to tell people to get in that mindset, right,
• 11:52
  Speaker 2: but if you're going in saying it's going to be
• 11:55
  Speaker 2: good period, that it can't sort of not be maybe,
• 11:59
  Speaker 2: I don't know.
• 12:00
  Speaker 5: I think that in a way for me, like it
• 12:03
  Speaker 5: was definitely a mindset switch because I knew even as
• 12:07
  Speaker 5: a sophomore when I was in France that I when
• 12:09
  Speaker 5: I got to cal that I would want to join
• 12:10
  Speaker 5: a sorority. So I kind of already had it in
• 12:12
  Speaker 5: the back of my mind, and so I went into
• 12:15
  Speaker 5: the summer before junior year being like, this is gonna
• 12:18
  Speaker 5: be really Like in my head, I was like, this
• 12:19
  Speaker 5: is gonna be weird. Like it's gonna be weird to
• 12:21
  Speaker 5: be a twenty year old with a bunch of seventeen
• 12:24
  Speaker 5: year olds going into recruitment with people who have just
• 12:28
  Speaker 5: moved out of their house and like their hometowns, and
• 12:30
  Speaker 5: you know, I had all that craziness as a freshman,
• 12:34
  Speaker 5: and I was in my head, I'm like, if I
• 12:37
  Speaker 5: was a freshman like I was, I was really thinking
• 12:39
  Speaker 5: back to my time, and I was like, if I
• 12:41
  Speaker 5: was a freshman in France and I had to go
• 12:43
  Speaker 5: and do recruitment, I don't know I would I didn't
• 12:47
  Speaker 5: feel like myself at that time because I had just
• 12:49
  Speaker 5: moved out of my house. I had just moved like
• 12:51
  Speaker 5: thousands and thousands of miles away from my parents and
• 12:54
  Speaker 5: everything that I had known. And I feel like if
• 12:56
  Speaker 5: I had gone into that experience and tried to do
• 12:57
  Speaker 5: recruitment in that mindset, like that version of me, I
• 13:01
  Speaker 5: don't think I would have ended up in the most
• 13:03
  Speaker 5: perfect place that I'm in now, if that makes sense.
• 13:06
  Speaker 4: It does make sense.
• 13:06
  Speaker 2: And I think, you know, for our listeners either sometimes
• 13:09
  Speaker 2: rush doesn't go well and maybe they want to try
• 13:11
  Speaker 2: again as a sophomore or a junior, or for kids
• 13:14
  Speaker 2: or you know, girls that are transferring. Right what you're
• 13:16
  Speaker 2: describing right now, I think is super interesting and insightful,
• 13:21
  Speaker 2: because you know, you could kind of go two ways, right,
• 13:24
  Speaker 2: Like I was sort of like as a junior, huh,
• 13:26
  Speaker 2: Like I feel kind of silly with all these freshmen,
• 13:29
  Speaker 2: but what you just said, I wouldn't have been the
• 13:31
  Speaker 2: same person freshman year, right, right, And so in terms
• 13:36
  Speaker 2: of my own just self confidence, just sort of growing
• 13:38
  Speaker 2: into myself, I had definitely had more of that as
• 13:41
  Speaker 2: a junior. So just an interesting point for listeners who
• 13:45
  Speaker 2: are thinking about maybe not rushing freshman year, rushing after.
• 13:47
  Speaker 5: That, right, I think I needed the time because I
• 13:52
  Speaker 5: think when I think about like, just like my life
• 13:55
  Speaker 5: in general, I think freshman year is the time that
• 13:57
  Speaker 5: I grew the most, like in a span of time.
• 13:59
  Speaker 5: Because obviously it's so crazy to move abroad. That's like
• 14:03
  Speaker 5: the most insane like uproot of everything you've ever known.
• 14:05
  Speaker 5: But then you're also kind of being forced to live
• 14:08
  Speaker 5: alone and you're taking really hard classes and you're by yourself,
• 14:12
  Speaker 5: Like I didn't know anyone when I moved abroad and
• 14:14
  Speaker 5: I didn't even speak French. So like a lot of
• 14:16
  Speaker 5: really crazy, just like super crazy life experiences that over
• 14:19
  Speaker 5: the span of the year. When I got back the
• 14:21
  Speaker 5: summer after my freshman year, I was like, I feel different,
• 14:24
  Speaker 5: Like I could actively feel that I like had grown
• 14:27
  Speaker 5: and had experienced things that I never would have realized.
• 14:30
  Speaker 5: And I think that is like one of my biggest
• 14:32
  Speaker 5: pieces of advice is if you think you like the
• 14:35
  Speaker 5: idea of being in a sorority, and you like the
• 14:37
  Speaker 5: concept of like what it has to offer in that
• 14:39
  Speaker 5: sense of like community and sisterhood, but you don't feel
• 14:43
  Speaker 5: like when you get to school you're yourself, Like it
• 14:46
  Speaker 5: seriously doesn't do any harm to join as a sophomore,
• 14:48
  Speaker 5: or to try it later, or to do like some
• 14:51
  Speaker 5: schools offers spring recruitment or cob and do the whole
• 14:54
  Speaker 5: like kind of get yourself some time to settle in
• 14:57
  Speaker 5: and to start to feel like yourself again those first
• 15:00
  Speaker 5: couple of weeks at least for me, and I can
• 15:02
  Speaker 5: confidently say for a lot of my friends were so
• 15:05
  Speaker 5: like unnerving and like unsettling because you just didn't you
• 15:09
  Speaker 5: were in a space that you didn't recognize. And so
• 15:11
  Speaker 5: to do all that and to feel that way and
• 15:13
  Speaker 5: then to also have to like basically elevate elevator pitch
• 15:17
  Speaker 5: yourself to girls for a week straight is very weird.
• 15:21
  Speaker 4: I would think.
• 15:21
  Speaker 2: So, I mean especially coming from you know, being abroad,
• 15:24
  Speaker 2: and I so I picture sort of you know abroad
• 15:29
  Speaker 2: is so being it's so worldly, right, You're in you
• 15:31
  Speaker 2: said you didn't speak the language, and you are just
• 15:34
  Speaker 2: being exposed to this culture and then you're all of
• 15:37
  Speaker 2: a sudden becoming a sorority girl, and I whatever that means, right,
• 15:41
  Speaker 2: And I.
• 15:41
  Speaker 4: Would think that that would be a huge pivot.
• 15:45
  Speaker 2: But you know, interestingly enough, the way you're describing it,
• 15:48
  Speaker 2: it worked for you, right, Like if you think of, oh,
• 15:51
  Speaker 2: I'm gonna I don't know if it was it Paris,
• 15:53
  Speaker 2: I don't know where you were.
• 15:54
  Speaker 5: I was right outside of Paris.
• 15:55
  Speaker 2: Yeah, okay, So you go to Paris for two years,
• 15:58
  Speaker 2: you learn to speak the language, you're on Parisians, and
• 16:00
  Speaker 2: now all of a sudden you're a sorority girl, right,
• 16:03
  Speaker 2: Like what And I think that's so cool that that
• 16:05
  Speaker 2: that that the way that that worked for you. Yeah,
• 16:07
  Speaker 2: I think that, Like as a mom, I remembered really
• 16:10
  Speaker 2: trying to convince both my kids, but particularly my daughter,
• 16:14
  Speaker 2: to take a gap year because I I just think
• 16:17
  Speaker 2: that it's an opportunity to sort of grow and grow
• 16:20
  Speaker 2: into who you are and maybe become a little more
• 16:23
  Speaker 2: self confident and self aware.
• 16:25
  Speaker 4: She didn't. He didn't, But.
• 16:27
  Speaker 2: I think that it it for anybody maybe considering waiting
• 16:30
  Speaker 2: a year.
• 16:32
  Speaker 4: I agree with you.
• 16:33
  Speaker 2: I think it's it's it can be a sort of
• 16:35
  Speaker 2: fabulous way to just not be bombarded when you start
• 16:40
  Speaker 2: in school, right.
• 16:41
  Speaker 5: Yeah, And I think I've definitely there's this sense of
• 16:46
  Speaker 5: when I've when I think about my time in d G,
• 16:48
  Speaker 5: I have this sense of like big sister feeling, which
• 16:52
  Speaker 5: has been like, I'm I'm an older sister, so I've
• 16:55
  Speaker 5: always grown up being the younger sister, and I very
• 16:59
  Speaker 5: much like have all the traits of a younger sister.
• 17:02
  Speaker 5: And then I joined DG, and I'm best friends with
• 17:05
  Speaker 5: girls that are two years younger than me. Like I
• 17:09
  Speaker 5: got into a friend group of a bunch of freshmen
• 17:11
  Speaker 5: as a junior, and I started to feel this sense
• 17:14
  Speaker 5: of like purpose by joining it's kind of weird, Like
• 17:17
  Speaker 5: I joined a sorority and you'd expect that it's like
• 17:19
  Speaker 5: the stereotypes of like sorority girl and like parties and
• 17:22
  Speaker 5: all this stuff, but then you join it and you're like, no,
• 17:25
  Speaker 5: like I feel like very like maternal over like girls
• 17:29
  Speaker 5: that are younger than I feel this sense of like,
• 17:32
  Speaker 5: I have so much that I want to tell you
• 17:35
  Speaker 5: and wisdom and all this stuff that I never have
• 17:37
  Speaker 5: had a space to give because I've always been the
• 17:39
  Speaker 5: younger sister, right, And I like join a house of
• 17:42
  Speaker 5: girls that I'm like, I care so much about you
• 17:45
  Speaker 5: guys and want you guys to have the best college experience,
• 17:47
  Speaker 5: and so I want to like give you all this
• 17:50
  Speaker 5: advice of things that I've been learning over my time.
• 17:53
  Speaker 4: I felt like that too.
• 17:54
  Speaker 2: That's so interesting because I definitely, you know, brushed as
• 17:58
  Speaker 2: a junior and then even to live in the house
• 18:01
  Speaker 2: as a senior, so you know, I'm a senior and
• 18:04
  Speaker 2: they're all sophomores. And there was absolutely a difference in
• 18:08
  Speaker 2: a good way because I loved the whole pledge class.
• 18:11
  Speaker 4: But that's so interesting.
• 18:12
  Speaker 2: Yeah, and I think I don't know the big sort
• 18:16
  Speaker 2: of the big point I'm getting out of like just
• 18:20
  Speaker 2: talking to you, and if we can convey this is
• 18:23
  Speaker 2: that you don't have to do it as a freshman
• 18:25
  Speaker 2: and maybe even better.
• 18:27
  Speaker 5: Right, Yeah, you kind of see this portrayal of sorority
• 18:30
  Speaker 5: life through like movies and Instagram and stories you hear
• 18:35
  Speaker 5: from older sisters and aunts and moms about like your
• 18:39
  Speaker 5: time in a sorority and how it completely changes your
• 18:42
  Speaker 5: life and you meet your bridesmaids. And I think I
• 18:44
  Speaker 5: had this perception in my head that those are all
• 18:48
  Speaker 5: things that happen when you're a freshman, like you meet
• 18:50
  Speaker 5: your forever friends when you're a freshman, right, And then
• 18:52
  Speaker 5: I show up at cal as a junior. And if
• 18:55
  Speaker 5: you had told me three years ago that I'd still
• 18:57
  Speaker 5: be making best friends like my junior and senior of
• 19:00
  Speaker 5: college with girls, then me that I wouldn't have believed
• 19:03
  Speaker 5: you because in your head and think like, oh, you
• 19:05
  Speaker 5: meet your friends like right when you get to college
• 19:07
  Speaker 5: and those are the people you stick with. But like
• 19:09
  Speaker 5: for me, and I've said this phrase to people before
• 19:11
  Speaker 5: because I always get the like, oh, you're in a sorority,
• 19:14
  Speaker 5: like especially for my friends in France, like they kind
• 19:16
  Speaker 5: of give me. They're kind of like, oh, you're a
• 19:19
  Speaker 5: sorority girl. Being in a sorority to me is the
• 19:22
  Speaker 5: gift that keeps on giving. Like that's the phrase I
• 19:24
  Speaker 5: use because like you meet people and you become friends
• 19:27
  Speaker 5: with people, and it's amazing, and then you're like I
• 19:29
  Speaker 5: can already see myself Like when I graduate in May,
• 19:33
  Speaker 5: I've already been meeting DG alum who are like, oh
• 19:36
  Speaker 5: my god, Like I want to chat, like how is
• 19:38
  Speaker 5: your time? Like everyone it's like a seriously the community.
• 19:41
  Speaker 5: It's you feel that sense of like everyone was happy
• 19:44
  Speaker 5: to be a part of it, and everyone's happy to
• 19:46
  Speaker 5: continue to give back to it. And we have moms
• 19:49
  Speaker 5: who come in and come to our chapter meetings and
• 19:51
  Speaker 5: talk to us and like share their experiences and talk
• 19:53
  Speaker 5: about their jobs and like help us with like networking,
• 19:56
  Speaker 5: like events and things like that. Like there's so much
• 19:59
  Speaker 5: to offer that It's not just that thing you do
• 20:02
  Speaker 5: as a freshman to make friends. It's like you can
• 20:04
  Speaker 5: do it whenever it works for you, and you still
• 20:07
  Speaker 5: feel that like amazing return, Like there's all there's so
• 20:10
  Speaker 5: much that keeps on being given to you.
• 20:13
  Speaker 2: I guess yeah, I love everything about that and it
• 20:15
  Speaker 2: just because I'm a negative human.
• 20:16
  Speaker 4: Is there anything about it that you didn't like? Not
• 20:19
  Speaker 4: really much.
• 20:20
  Speaker 5: I was trying to think about that. I was I've
• 20:22
  Speaker 5: been thinking, honestly, this is gonna sound really dumb. The
• 20:27
  Speaker 5: only thing that I would say as a negative is
• 20:30
  Speaker 5: the out of body experience you have when you're a
• 20:33
  Speaker 5: junior and you step into a frat like I would
• 20:37
  Speaker 5: I would go to initially when I joined that first semester,
• 20:40
  Speaker 5: I would go to events with the girls in my
• 20:42
  Speaker 5: PC who are all freshmen, because like it's a bonding
• 20:45
  Speaker 5: thing and it's fun, and like your chapter president kind
• 20:48
  Speaker 5: of tells you it's required to like go to these
• 20:50
  Speaker 5: social events. And I show up and I'm like, I
• 20:53
  Speaker 5: feel old, Like I feel weird than I'm like at
• 20:57
  Speaker 5: a frat. Yeah yeah, yeah, yeah, like twenty twenty one,
• 21:00
  Speaker 5: and I'm like, I shouldn't. Like it's kind of the
• 21:02
  Speaker 5: sense of like the target audience, Like I am not
• 21:04
  Speaker 5: the target audience for this type of event, and that's
• 21:06
  Speaker 5: completely fine, and it's I can it's fun because I'm
• 21:09
  Speaker 5: with my like my best friends and we're having fun whatever.
• 21:12
  Speaker 5: But I'd say that's the only thing that like has
• 21:15
  Speaker 5: never it never got like easier.
• 21:18
  Speaker 2: I get that I never like going into the frat
• 21:20
  Speaker 2: houses period. So but wait, but in terms of rush though,
• 21:23
  Speaker 2: is there anything just that.
• 21:25
  Speaker 5: That honestly like the recruitment process for me? I think
• 21:28
  Speaker 5: the only thing that felt weird was like, I really
• 21:33
  Speaker 5: try to live my life in like a very honest,
• 21:36
  Speaker 5: authentic way, and I felt guilty and almost kind of
• 21:39
  Speaker 5: like it's a weird feeling to go to houses that
• 21:42
  Speaker 5: you know, right off the bat you just don't click with.
• 21:44
  Speaker 5: And there's nothing wrong with that, Like, there's absolutely nothing
• 21:46
  Speaker 5: wrong with being because I I'm really lucky.
• 21:49
  Speaker 6: I was.
• 21:50
  Speaker 5: I went through the recruitment process, and then this past
• 21:52
  Speaker 5: fall I was a part of the recruitment process, so
• 21:53
  Speaker 5: I was on the other side of it. It was
• 21:55
  Speaker 5: really interesting to see, like there are certain houses you
• 21:59
  Speaker 5: just don't click with. And on one end of it,
• 22:01
  Speaker 5: when you're going through recruitment, you kind of feel like
• 22:02
  Speaker 5: you need to fake it, and you kind of feel
• 22:04
  Speaker 5: like you need to still like give them your best
• 22:06
  Speaker 5: and give them your all because you don't want to
• 22:07
  Speaker 5: be rude, you don't want to like act like you
• 22:09
  Speaker 5: don't care. But then on the other end of it,
• 22:12
  Speaker 5: when you are recruiting. It's really heart wrenching to see
• 22:17
  Speaker 5: girls that you know are amazing and would be friends
• 22:19
  Speaker 5: with any day of the week and are awesome, but
• 22:21
  Speaker 5: it's almost like you kind of need to make these
• 22:24
  Speaker 5: like judgment calls of like are they the best fit
• 22:27
  Speaker 5: for us? But also are we the best fit for them?
• 22:31
  Speaker 5: Like can we do? Would they love our house as
• 22:33
  Speaker 5: much as we think they might love this house? And
• 22:36
  Speaker 5: so it's kind of like that was always the weirdest
• 22:38
  Speaker 5: part for me on both ends of it was like
• 22:39
  Speaker 5: the mind not mind games that sounds like dramatic, but
• 22:43
  Speaker 5: like the behind the scenes of like.
• 22:46
  Speaker 4: No, I get it, believe me.
• 22:47
  Speaker 2: Yeah, yeah, because you're you are sort of weeding people
• 22:51
  Speaker 2: out and weeding people in, and it's a it's a strategy.
• 22:54
  Speaker 4: What did you enjoy more being on which side of it?
• 22:57
  Speaker 5: Definitely going through recruitment, Yeah, like being the cause. I
• 23:01
  Speaker 5: love I love to chat, I love like, I love
• 23:04
  Speaker 5: I love a like random stranger interaction, I love an
• 23:08
  Speaker 5: elevator pitch like I It's just kind of just my thing.
• 23:10
  Speaker 5: I'm very extra good and I enjoy it, so I
• 23:13
  Speaker 5: almost I actually had a Snapchat story during the whole
• 23:17
  Speaker 5: week of recruitment that I added some of my like
• 23:19
  Speaker 5: hometown friends and my friends friends on and I like
• 23:22
  Speaker 5: would post a little like outfit checks, like this is
• 23:24
  Speaker 5: what I'm wearing today, this is what the round is.
• 23:26
  Speaker 5: And then I would after each house, I would like
• 23:28
  Speaker 5: take a picture and be like, oh, my gosh, had
• 23:31
  Speaker 5: the best conversation about this, like love just also to
• 23:34
  Speaker 5: help me remember everything, right. But I remember doing that
• 23:38
  Speaker 5: and being like, honestly, this is like really good practice
• 23:41
  Speaker 5: for like awkward conversations that you Yeah. I was like,
• 23:43
  Speaker 5: this is good, like interview network, like great awkward practice.
• 23:48
  Speaker 5: And so I kind of interpreted the whole week, especially
• 23:50
  Speaker 5: coming into it as a junior, I was like, this
• 23:52
  Speaker 5: is good just like life experience. Like I'm not seeing
• 23:54
  Speaker 5: this as like the end will be all because I'm
• 23:56
  Speaker 5: already feeling so good in myself as a junior in
• 23:59
  Speaker 5: college and in the friends that I have that it
• 24:01
  Speaker 5: it wasn't everything to me, which I almost think that's
• 24:04
  Speaker 5: also maybe a bit of advice. I almost think that
• 24:06
  Speaker 5: maybe taking some of the pressure off that like it'll
• 24:09
  Speaker 5: work out. It always does, And people say that and
• 24:11
  Speaker 5: you think it's a joke and you think it's cliche,
• 24:13
  Speaker 5: but it really really does, like it always finds a
• 24:15
  Speaker 5: way to work itself out. You might not end up
• 24:17
  Speaker 5: in the house that you thought you were gonna be in,
• 24:19
  Speaker 5: but you will find your people regardless. You might not
• 24:22
  Speaker 5: even end up in a house at all, and you
• 24:24
  Speaker 5: will go to a different route in college, or you'll
• 24:26
  Speaker 5: still be friends with girls and sororities, but you just
• 24:29
  Speaker 5: won't be a part of it. Like it will always
• 24:31
  Speaker 5: work itself out. And I think when I was going
• 24:33
  Speaker 5: through the recruitment process as a junior, I just felt
• 24:36
  Speaker 5: that sense of like, I'm gonna take from this what
• 24:39
  Speaker 5: I can get and I'm not going to stress about
• 24:41
  Speaker 5: all the other things. Like it's just like I was, like,
• 24:43
  Speaker 5: it's just gonna be fun, Like it's just gonna be practiced.
• 25:00
  Speaker 2: All right, you guys. So now we are bringing in Grace. Hi, Grace, Hi,
• 25:04
  Speaker 2: how are you?
• 25:04
  Speaker 4: How are you good?
• 25:05
  Speaker 2: How are you doing good? We're talking about rush, the good,
• 25:08
  Speaker 2: the bad, the ugly. And I believe, for my little
• 25:12
  Speaker 2: notes here that you actually were not a huge fan
• 25:16
  Speaker 2: of the rush process.
• 25:18
  Speaker 3: I was not. I have kind of mixed feelings, right,
• 25:23
  Speaker 3: So I my freshman year of college was twenty twenty,
• 25:27
  Speaker 3: so obviously when I was Rushing, it was very different
• 25:31
  Speaker 3: than other people's experience because we did it all online.
• 25:35
  Speaker 3: It was via Zoom, and I just feel like it's
• 25:37
  Speaker 3: harder to connect with people that way, and especially when
• 25:40
  Speaker 3: you're making such a big decision on a house, it's
• 25:44
  Speaker 3: hard to not be in that environment and get to
• 25:46
  Speaker 3: interact with people face to face.
• 25:48
  Speaker 4: Yeah.
• 25:49
  Speaker 3: I feel like that kind of threw a wrench in
• 25:51
  Speaker 3: my experience initially and going through Zoom recruitment just it
• 25:57
  Speaker 3: didn't end up going very well for me. I got
• 26:00
  Speaker 3: dropped by a lot of the houses, and I took
• 26:02
  Speaker 3: it all very personally because I did care about it
• 26:05
  Speaker 3: a lot and I really wanted to get into, especially
• 26:08
  Speaker 3: at the time, like what I considered a top house.
• 26:10
  Speaker 3: I cared so much about that freshman year.
• 26:13
  Speaker 4: What is it called?
• 26:13
  Speaker 2: What are they called top tier? They did call it
• 26:15
  Speaker 2: that when I went the top Yeah.
• 26:16
  Speaker 3: Like top house or tier house. Yeah. And I feel
• 26:24
  Speaker 3: like after it not going well the first time and
• 26:28
  Speaker 3: having kind of a year of distance from it, I
• 26:31
  Speaker 3: initially thought I would never do it again. But I
• 26:33
  Speaker 3: did end up deciding to go through with Rush again
• 26:37
  Speaker 3: sophomore year after not goeting in the first time and
• 26:41
  Speaker 3: I will say I had a much better experience the
• 26:43
  Speaker 3: second time because we got to do it in person.
• 26:47
  Speaker 3: I felt like I got a more cohesive vibe of
• 26:51
  Speaker 3: each of the houses, and I had already made some
• 26:53
  Speaker 3: friends in each one, which made it really a better experience.
• 26:58
  Speaker 3: Just having connections, I think is so important when it
• 27:00
  Speaker 3: comes to rush, and so I think the second time
• 27:05
  Speaker 3: doing it redeems itself a little bit. But I don't
• 27:08
  Speaker 3: know the whole thing. For me, it just felt very
• 27:13
  Speaker 3: judgmental and you kind of feel like this spotlight is
• 27:17
  Speaker 3: put on you, and I don't know, it was an
• 27:21
  Speaker 3: interesting experience.
• 27:23
  Speaker 2: Can you give any dove any like specific memories of
• 27:26
  Speaker 2: it where you know you just felt like you were
• 27:30
  Speaker 2: being judged or.
• 27:32
  Speaker 3: Yeah, I feel like I can think of two examples.
• 27:34
  Speaker 6: One.
• 27:36
  Speaker 3: I don't know how it works at other schools, but
• 27:37
  Speaker 3: at the school that I was at, the first round
• 27:40
  Speaker 3: of recruitment, you actually don't talk to the girls at all.
• 27:43
  Speaker 3: You submit a slide with a picture or a couple
• 27:48
  Speaker 3: of pictures of you, and then you answer these three
• 27:51
  Speaker 3: questions and all the girls in the sorties go through
• 27:55
  Speaker 3: these slides, and then the first round of recruitment is
• 27:58
  Speaker 3: them going through the slides and pick girls that they
• 28:01
  Speaker 3: want back based on those, and then from a potential
• 28:05
  Speaker 3: new member's perspective, you watch a video of each sorority
• 28:09
  Speaker 3: and you kind of rank them based on the vibe
• 28:12
  Speaker 3: of the video and like where you think you might
• 28:14
  Speaker 3: fit in best. And I feel like, because they did
• 28:18
  Speaker 3: it that way, it feels very impersonal and like they're
• 28:21
  Speaker 3: just looking at a picture of you and kind of
• 28:22
  Speaker 3: ruling you out and you can't get a feel for
• 28:27
  Speaker 3: the person really at all.
• 28:29
  Speaker 2: Yeah, I think that sounds hideous if I'm being honest,
• 28:33
  Speaker 2: Like it's like, Okay, we're judging you on your looks.
• 28:35
  Speaker 3: Go yeah, absolutely, And I mean you know that these
• 28:37
  Speaker 3: girls are using Instagram and TikTok and social media just
• 28:41
  Speaker 3: kind of stock people beforehand too. And so I think
• 28:44
  Speaker 3: for me, what made me feel really judged off the
• 28:47
  Speaker 3: bat was like almost like how impersonal the first round was,
• 28:52
  Speaker 3: and that's your first impression, you know, and if you.
• 28:54
  Speaker 4: Can't redeem some of the houses you want to.
• 28:56
  Speaker 3: Yeah, I got dropped by a lot of them, especially
• 28:58
  Speaker 3: the first time that I rush, And honestly, the second
• 29:01
  Speaker 3: time that I rushed, I got more. I dropped by
• 29:03
  Speaker 3: more than I expected. To as well, and I think
• 29:06
  Speaker 3: it's hard when you can't make your own first impression.
• 29:10
  Speaker 3: It feels like you're just ruling people out too early.
• 29:14
  Speaker 2: I think it's so interesting also just talking to you
• 29:16
  Speaker 2: and looking at you, and you're clearly you're pretty, and
• 29:20
  Speaker 2: you're clearly sweet and smart in all of that, right, So,
• 29:24
  Speaker 2: but I'm sure it does take a toll. You're putting
• 29:28
  Speaker 2: your picture out there and somebody saying no, I don't
• 29:30
  Speaker 2: want you, which is hard for me to imagine looking
• 29:33
  Speaker 2: at you, but it happens to everyone totally.
• 29:36
  Speaker 3: It's hard not to take personal, especially it's such a
• 29:39
  Speaker 3: pivotal time in your life where you're coming into this
• 29:41
  Speaker 3: new environment. You're probably moving states or moving out of
• 29:45
  Speaker 3: your home for the first time. I think you're more
• 29:48
  Speaker 3: likely to take things personal. And I know that that's
• 29:50
  Speaker 3: kind of where I was at when I was eighteen
• 29:52
  Speaker 3: years old, So I think that that first round, just
• 29:54
  Speaker 3: the way that they did it at my school, to me,
• 29:57
  Speaker 3: felt a little bit more judgmental. And then I feel
• 29:59
  Speaker 3: like within Russian stuff, you know, your conversations can go
• 30:04
  Speaker 3: a million different ways. And the house that I ended
• 30:06
  Speaker 3: up in I had great conversations with and I didn't
• 30:09
  Speaker 3: feel judged for a second. But some people like to
• 30:12
  Speaker 3: ask more invasive questions about boys or parties and stuff
• 30:16
  Speaker 3: like that, and those kind of conversations, I feel like
• 30:21
  Speaker 3: LUNs can get blurred and people can misinterpret things and
• 30:24
  Speaker 3: it feels give an example, there was one house that
• 30:28
  Speaker 3: I talked to, and this was when I rushed sophomore
• 30:31
  Speaker 3: year the second time, and they were like, so, how
• 30:34
  Speaker 3: many boys have you hooked up with since you've been
• 30:36
  Speaker 3: at school?
• 30:37
  Speaker 6: Wow?
• 30:38
  Speaker 3: I was like, first of all, what kind of questions?
• 30:41
  Speaker 3: Why isn't that? Second of all, yeah, what are you
• 30:44
  Speaker 3: gonna take from that?
• 30:47
  Speaker 4: Yes, exactly?
• 30:48
  Speaker 3: Yeah, like what about that adds value to me or
• 30:51
  Speaker 3: something like that? You know, it's weird.
• 30:53
  Speaker 2: Yeah, we had a guess before you who said that
• 30:56
  Speaker 2: there were three bees that she couldn't talk about. Boy,
• 31:00
  Speaker 2: the Bible, and maybe Bose or something. Yeah.
• 31:04
  Speaker 3: Yeah, they ask those questions anyways, And I feel like
• 31:06
  Speaker 3: it's always those kind of questions that make you feel like, oh,
• 31:10
  Speaker 3: is this somewhere I want to be If they're judging
• 31:11
  Speaker 3: me based off of these things, you know, I mean.
• 31:13
  Speaker 2: What are you supposed to say, Oh, my god, I
• 31:15
  Speaker 2: have been with so many boys? I can't even keep
• 31:17
  Speaker 2: track or like, no, what do you want me to say?
• 31:20
  Speaker 4: Exactly?
• 31:21
  Speaker 3: Exactly? It's hard because I feel like you can't really
• 31:23
  Speaker 3: give a right answer.
• 31:24
  Speaker 7: To that question right right, right, because.
• 31:27
  Speaker 3: Judgment can be placed either way.
• 31:28
  Speaker 2: Do you feel like after you know you got rejected
• 31:32
  Speaker 2: from the first round or whatever from did your mood change?
• 31:36
  Speaker 5: Like?
• 31:36
  Speaker 4: Was it harder for you then to like?
• 31:38
  Speaker 5: I just know.
• 31:40
  Speaker 2: Sometimes in life, right, if we get rejected, it sets
• 31:44
  Speaker 2: a tone, Like if you're having an experience like this,
• 31:48
  Speaker 2: right and it doesn't go well at the beginning, it
• 31:50
  Speaker 2: can set a tone for the rest of it, and
• 31:51
  Speaker 2: you could feel more nervous, more insecure.
• 31:54
  Speaker 4: Do you feel like it that's what happened.
• 31:56
  Speaker 3: Yeah, I do feel like that's kind of what happened.
• 31:58
  Speaker 3: I remember freshmen when I rushed. That kind of did
• 32:02
  Speaker 3: set the tone for me. I got dropped by a
• 32:04
  Speaker 3: lot of houses initially, and I was like, oh, wow,
• 32:07
  Speaker 3: already my expectations have not been met. I'm really thrown
• 32:11
  Speaker 3: for a loop. I'm taking it personal, And I feel
• 32:13
  Speaker 3: like that kind of snowballed into maybe my attitude throughout
• 32:16
  Speaker 3: the rest of Rush, which in turn ended up being
• 32:19
  Speaker 3: a huge life lesson for me when I redid Rush
• 32:22
  Speaker 3: sophomore year, and I feel like that time maybe what
• 32:25
  Speaker 3: pushed me through to the end or what made me
• 32:27
  Speaker 3: more successful in it, was the fact that I kind
• 32:30
  Speaker 3: of realized, like, Okay, maybe people will help me out
• 32:34
  Speaker 3: in the beginning, but that doesn't mean that I can't
• 32:36
  Speaker 3: redeem myself in the conversations that I have later on,
• 32:39
  Speaker 3: or keep an open mind to houses that maybe I
• 32:42
  Speaker 3: didn't expect having great connections with and stuff like that.
• 32:46
  Speaker 3: So I feel like to your point, yeah, I definitely
• 32:51
  Speaker 3: feel like that could have been maybe a downfall for
• 32:53
  Speaker 3: me the first time I went through Rush and somewhere
• 32:56
  Speaker 3: where I was actually able to redeem myself the second time.
• 33:00
  Speaker 2: All right, And what advice would you give to our
• 33:02
  Speaker 2: listeners who have had a similar experience they didn't get,
• 33:05
  Speaker 2: you know, to be able to not only do it,
• 33:08
  Speaker 2: but also sort of maybe even enjoy the rush process
• 33:12
  Speaker 2: the second time around.
• 33:14
  Speaker 3: I think that the second time around, it's almost like
• 33:17
  Speaker 3: you really have nothing to lose. You know, you're going
• 33:20
  Speaker 3: into this again, You've already created a life for yourself
• 33:23
  Speaker 3: at school where you are a little more settled with
• 33:27
  Speaker 3: your friends hopefully or a little more settled in a
• 33:30
  Speaker 3: new city or whatever the case may be. And so
• 33:33
  Speaker 3: it's like, if you've already built ground for yourself and
• 33:36
  Speaker 3: gotten through freshman year, maybe without having been in a sorority.
• 33:40
  Speaker 3: I think it's just realizing, like, Okay, I feel secure
• 33:44
  Speaker 3: in what I've built beforehand. I'm going into this and
• 33:47
  Speaker 3: if it goes well, awesome. But if it doesn't, I
• 33:50
  Speaker 3: know that I'm going to be able to recover. So
• 33:52
  Speaker 3: I'd say, like, give yourself credit for what you've already
• 33:55
  Speaker 3: been through, because it is kind of hard to feel
• 33:57
  Speaker 3: like you're on the outside of something if you didn't
• 33:59
  Speaker 3: get into a sorority freshman year. And I think that
• 34:04
  Speaker 3: it's all about just like being grateful for what you
• 34:07
  Speaker 3: do have and keeping in mind that it's not a
• 34:11
  Speaker 3: huge loss if it doesn't go well, but it could
• 34:13
  Speaker 3: be a great addition if it does go right.
• 34:16
  Speaker 4: I love that. Thanks well.
• 34:19
  Speaker 2: So the house that you're in when you got into,
• 34:22
  Speaker 2: was that a house that you expected or you wanted
• 34:25
  Speaker 2: to get into or was did that was that you know?
• 34:27
  Speaker 2: Part like the first time around the set versus the
• 34:29
  Speaker 2: second time around.
• 34:31
  Speaker 3: I remember really liking this house the first time around,
• 34:34
  Speaker 3: and I was kind of shocked that I got dropped
• 34:36
  Speaker 3: by them, so they were definitely on my radar when
• 34:38
  Speaker 3: I went back sophomore year, although a lot of my
• 34:40
  Speaker 3: friends were in different houses, so I was like, do
• 34:43
  Speaker 3: I want to do what my friends want to do
• 34:45
  Speaker 3: or what I maybe want to join this house that
• 34:47
  Speaker 3: I don't have as many friends in. But I remember
• 34:49
  Speaker 3: really liking and Yeah, I ended up just kind of
• 34:53
  Speaker 3: having the best conversations there and it definitely was like
• 34:57
  Speaker 3: one that was towards the top of my list. I
• 35:00
  Speaker 3: was really happy to get it, and I feel like
• 35:03
  Speaker 3: I was really happy to then make more connections within it,
• 35:06
  Speaker 3: and the girls were great and it ended up being
• 35:09
  Speaker 3: a really, really fun.
• 35:11
  Speaker 8: Time.
• 35:12
  Speaker 4: Yeah, is there any my last question?
• 35:15
  Speaker 2: You think there's anything you could suggest that would make
• 35:17
  Speaker 2: RUSH a better experience? You know, it's interesting obviously, you know,
• 35:23
  Speaker 2: doing it the way you did submitting pictures freshman year,
• 35:27
  Speaker 2: I'm thinking you would say that's not a good idea.
• 35:30
  Speaker 4: Yeah, I wouldn't suggest that, But anything.
• 35:32
  Speaker 2: Else you any twist or things that you think could
• 35:34
  Speaker 2: make it a better process.
• 35:36
  Speaker 3: I feel like, kind of what I was talking about earlier,
• 35:39
  Speaker 3: attitude and perspective is everything. If you're someone who's going
• 35:42
  Speaker 3: into rush. It's just really important, I think, mostly to
• 35:46
  Speaker 3: keep an open mind because yeah, and I think I
• 35:49
  Speaker 3: would also recommend not really talking to other people about it.
• 35:53
  Speaker 3: I think maybe freshman year where I got so in
• 35:55
  Speaker 3: my head about it was we're on these zooms, it's COVID,
• 35:59
  Speaker 3: my room is sitting next to me on zooms, and
• 36:02
  Speaker 3: it's all going really well for her, and then we're
• 36:04
  Speaker 3: spending hours talking about it after and everyone in my
• 36:07
  Speaker 3: dorm is like, what house do you like? What house
• 36:09
  Speaker 3: do you think you're getting into?
• 36:11
  Speaker 6: This?
• 36:11
  Speaker 2: What?
• 36:11
  Speaker 3: That? And I think just being mindful of canceling out
• 36:17
  Speaker 3: some of that noise and maybe not asking all the
• 36:19
  Speaker 3: questions to other people, or not giving away too much
• 36:22
  Speaker 3: information to other people, and just keeping it more of
• 36:25
  Speaker 3: a personal experience. I feel like that would have been
• 36:27
  Speaker 3: kind of helpful for me, because at the end of
• 36:29
  Speaker 3: the day, it is your decision, and you never want
• 36:32
  Speaker 3: other people's opinions or judgment to cloud your own.
• 36:35
  Speaker 2: Okay, I think that is great advice. I think, actually,
• 36:37
  Speaker 2: I'm thrilled that that's what you are offering to our listeners.
• 36:41
  Speaker 2: I think that it sounds to me as an older person,
• 36:45
  Speaker 2: like that's going to be something really helpful that.
• 36:47
  Speaker 3: Our listeners helped send you.
• 36:49
  Speaker 7: So yeah, I hope well done.
• 37:05
  Speaker 2: All right, guys, So now we have Molly. Hi, Mollie,
• 37:08
  Speaker 2: thank you so much for coming on.
• 37:10
  Speaker 5: Yeah.
• 37:11
  Speaker 2: Yeah, we're talking about Rush, and we've had callers that
• 37:15
  Speaker 2: have loved it and callers that have hated it. And
• 37:19
  Speaker 2: this must be about me somehow that I want to
• 37:22
  Speaker 2: talk more to the ones that hated it than once
• 37:24
  Speaker 2: it loved it. I don't know why I feel that way,
• 37:26
  Speaker 2: but I just think it's, first all, it's a very
• 37:28
  Speaker 2: hard thing, and I think talking about that is going
• 37:31
  Speaker 2: to help a lot of our listeners because I think that,
• 37:34
  Speaker 2: you know, people have all kinds of experiences, and I
• 37:37
  Speaker 2: think especially talking to people like you who didn't like
• 37:41
  Speaker 2: Rush and still ended up in a sorority. So tell
• 37:45
  Speaker 2: me a little bit about your experience. How did it
• 37:49
  Speaker 2: go and why wasn't it the best?
• 37:52
  Speaker 3: Yeah?
• 37:54
  Speaker 7: So I didn't love it.
• 37:56
  Speaker 8: I actually really didn't like it because I felt like
• 38:02
  Speaker 8: they were trying to have me be a certain way,
• 38:06
  Speaker 8: talk a certain way, and it also was kind of
• 38:11
  Speaker 8: it felt degrading the way that they chose who was
• 38:15
  Speaker 8: gonna talk the most, who was going to be on
• 38:17
  Speaker 8: the floor, it was very clear the system that they
• 38:21
  Speaker 8: were doing.
• 38:23
  Speaker 3: Whether it was looks or.
• 38:24
  Speaker 8: It was I don't know, like they just they wanted
• 38:30
  Speaker 8: to put like the certain people forward, and it was
• 38:35
  Speaker 8: kind of degrading. It wasn't a fair wasn't a fair
• 38:40
  Speaker 8: representation of the entire group, so that I didn't love.
• 38:50
  Speaker 8: But yeah, mostly I would say it was they wanted
• 38:54
  Speaker 8: us to use a specific dialogue.
• 38:56
  Speaker 3: And I love to talk to people.
• 38:58
  Speaker 8: I love to get to know people, and I know
• 39:00
  Speaker 8: that people enjoy me as well, so I was excited
• 39:06
  Speaker 8: to do this.
• 39:07
  Speaker 6: At first, I couldn't discuss a lot.
• 39:09
  Speaker 8: Of the topics that would be fun to talk about,
• 39:13
  Speaker 8: which I can understand to an extent, but it definitely
• 39:18
  Speaker 8: felt like they were trying to put something forward that
• 39:22
  Speaker 8: wasn't specific to the individual.
• 39:24
  Speaker 6: In my experience, we weren't allowed to talk about boys, booze,
• 39:28
  Speaker 6: and write the bees and I can't remember the third bee,
• 39:31
  Speaker 6: but it would maybe, yeah, okay, that could be it,
• 39:36
  Speaker 6: but and like I didn't need to talk about boys
• 39:39
  Speaker 6: or booze or anything, but that's one for example that
• 39:44
  Speaker 6: we weren't allowed to. But it definitely made it uncomfortable
• 39:47
  Speaker 6: when they would bring it up and we had to
• 39:50
  Speaker 6: like redirect a conversation. It was just a very forced
• 39:54
  Speaker 6: discussion and it just made me feel very unnatural. And
• 39:57
  Speaker 6: then I'm stressed. The other onemen are stressed, and everyone's
• 40:04
  Speaker 6: kind of putting on a face or putting on a show,
• 40:06
  Speaker 6: and it's just becomes like inauthentic versus, like the versus,
• 40:13
  Speaker 6: like the fraternities. It's just a lot more laid back,
• 40:18
  Speaker 6: and I think it shows who the boys are.
• 40:24
  Speaker 2: More than the rush process was yeah right, yeah, so
• 40:28
  Speaker 2: I just want to make sure I have it.
• 40:30
  Speaker 4: I understand.
• 40:30
  Speaker 2: So they would tell you don't talk about boys, and
• 40:34
  Speaker 2: then you would have these girls bringing up boys and
• 40:38
  Speaker 2: you had it like was did they know.
• 40:40
  Speaker 4: That they were doing that to you?
• 40:41
  Speaker 2: Is it purposeful that they were trying to see how
• 40:43
  Speaker 2: you could evade a question or or you don't even know,
• 40:46
  Speaker 2: Maybe you don't know.
• 40:47
  Speaker 8: I think they would forget, because I do know that
• 40:50
  Speaker 8: they have the same rules, so they're not supposed to
• 40:56
  Speaker 8: bring it up. But I think they would maybe forget,
• 40:58
  Speaker 8: or maybe they would try and show that they're oh, whoops,
• 41:03
  Speaker 8: I didn't know, but I do like to party, or
• 41:05
  Speaker 8: like they would want to say something right, And I
• 41:09
  Speaker 8: do know that some of the sororities would not completely
• 41:15
  Speaker 8: follow the rules, and then I think that was like
• 41:18
  Speaker 8: a good look, but not a good.
• 41:21
  Speaker 4: Look for so complicated, right, It's.
• 41:23
  Speaker 8: Like, yeah, it's just kind of ridiculous.
• 41:26
  Speaker 4: Yeaheah, it could just be I know it.
• 41:30
  Speaker 2: We're talking to, you know, quite a number of you
• 41:34
  Speaker 2: guys today and a lot of people that really just
• 41:36
  Speaker 2: loved every single minute of it and then those that didn't.
• 41:39
  Speaker 2: And I can kind of, you know, relate to both
• 41:42
  Speaker 2: because it's very hard to be your authentic self in
• 41:46
  Speaker 2: these situations, right when you're trying to please people and
• 41:49
  Speaker 2: you're trying to put forth your best self, not even
• 41:54
  Speaker 2: knowing what that really is. Would you have any advice
• 41:58
  Speaker 2: for our listeners that either well, you know, some of
• 42:01
  Speaker 2: our listeners they've already there in now or they're going
• 42:03
  Speaker 2: to go through spring, or like any advice for girls
• 42:06
  Speaker 2: that are hating it and feeling all of these ways
• 42:09
  Speaker 2: about it, and you know, is there anything you could
• 42:11
  Speaker 2: suggest that could help?
• 42:14
  Speaker 6: I mean, I would say to be yourself. I know,
• 42:17
  Speaker 6: like everyone says that, but I really mean it, like
• 42:23
  Speaker 6: you just want to put yourself forward and show who
• 42:26
  Speaker 6: you are and the right sorority who sees the value
• 42:30
  Speaker 6: in you will come. But it's also at the same time,
• 42:35
  Speaker 6: the system is so messed up that even if you
• 42:37
  Speaker 6: are showing your best self, you never know like what
• 42:41
  Speaker 6: the qualifications are that they need, Like maybe your grades
• 42:43
  Speaker 6: aren't it, or if you're in a sport and they
• 42:45
  Speaker 6: won't they don't want people in a sport, or I
• 42:49
  Speaker 6: don't know, like there's a lot of things that will
• 42:52
  Speaker 6: get you denied and it has nothing to do with
• 42:55
  Speaker 6: you or like your personality or whatever.
• 42:58
  Speaker 3: So I would definitely say I do.
• 43:00
  Speaker 6: Not take it personal whatsoever, because it's literally the weirdest
• 43:06
  Speaker 6: system ever. So that's kind of my advice, I guess.
• 43:09
  Speaker 2: I mean, I think it's so great because we're having again,
• 43:11
  Speaker 2: we're having these girls on here that loved it, and
• 43:15
  Speaker 2: I think that that's helpful for our listeners because they
• 43:18
  Speaker 2: can get excited about the process, and you know, also
• 43:21
  Speaker 2: just some girls like you that are very honest and
• 43:26
  Speaker 2: real about it and say it wasn't the best, but
• 43:30
  Speaker 2: in the end, I'm glad I did it, you know,
• 43:32
  Speaker 2: so we can kind of help maybe set expectations here.
• 43:37
  Speaker 4: And I know it's true.
• 43:38
  Speaker 2: It's like that's advice for at my age, you know,
• 43:40
  Speaker 2: that's I get the advice just be yourself. I don't
• 43:44
  Speaker 2: even know at your age, I didn't know who myself was.
• 43:47
  Speaker 2: So that was not an easy thing, right And now
• 43:49
  Speaker 2: it's like the buzzwords are all about it's all, you know,
• 43:52
  Speaker 2: be authentic. And at again, now at age fifty seven,
• 43:58
  Speaker 2: I'm way more aware of who I am, and it's
• 44:01
  Speaker 2: way easier for me to be authentically Jennifer. But I
• 44:04
  Speaker 2: think that's probably hard for a lot of people, you know,
• 44:07
  Speaker 2: at eighteen and but just as opposed to I mean,
• 44:12
  Speaker 2: I just remember wanting everyone to like me so badly,
• 44:16
  Speaker 2: and it didn't matter if I knew I wasn't going
• 44:18
  Speaker 2: to even me in the house, like I don't, this
• 44:20
  Speaker 2: is not the house for me. I still it was
• 44:22
  Speaker 2: so much pressure, pressure to try to impress everyone totally.
• 44:27
  Speaker 4: Yeah, And so I mean that that aspect of it
• 44:29
  Speaker 4: can be really difficult.
• 44:31
  Speaker 6: So I do think about like I totally understand that,
• 44:35
  Speaker 6: or like you don't really know who you are. But
• 44:37
  Speaker 6: I think when I say be yourself, it's like in
• 44:40
  Speaker 6: that moment because I feel like I feel like the
• 44:46
  Speaker 6: way to be authentic is just to kind of be
• 44:49
  Speaker 6: vulnerable and like stay because I feel like each week,
• 44:54
  Speaker 6: I agree, I'm in a different place each week.
• 44:57
  Speaker 8: Literally, So like if I'm just vulnera about what I'm
• 45:01
  Speaker 8: feeling in my experience when this happened or read question
• 45:06
  Speaker 8: like I don't know who I am, but like that's
• 45:09
  Speaker 8: what I'm feeling, and this.
• 45:10
  Speaker 2: Is what that's like the truth of what's going on
• 45:12
  Speaker 2: with you. So I tell that to my daughter, and
• 45:16
  Speaker 2: I've learned that I'm so impressed that you know this
• 45:19
  Speaker 2: about yourself because being vulnerable now, after all, you know,
• 45:24
  Speaker 2: after going through college and life and marriage and kids,
• 45:29
  Speaker 2: and I connect with people most when I'm being vulnerable,
• 45:33
  Speaker 2: honest and vulnerable, and I.
• 45:36
  Speaker 4: Have found again was off topics.
• 45:39
  Speaker 2: So excuse me, but if I had to, you know,
• 45:42
  Speaker 2: in part any advice to someone your age, and I'm
• 45:44
  Speaker 2: not saying go in and on a first meeting and
• 45:46
  Speaker 2: tell everyone your deepest, darkest necessarily, but be comfortable being vulnerable.
• 45:51
  Speaker 2: You know, I don't know, I'm really this is the
• 45:53
  Speaker 2: whole thing is a lot for me, and you know,
• 45:55
  Speaker 2: I am kind of a shy person or whatever it is,
• 45:59
  Speaker 2: and not just in during rush, right, but to be
• 46:01
  Speaker 2: open because people will almost always at least that's in
• 46:03
  Speaker 2: my experience. Then be vulnerable, vulnerable with you, and it's
• 46:08
  Speaker 2: really it's a great way to connect. So solve all
• 46:11
  Speaker 2: the world's problems here.
• 46:13
  Speaker 6: Seriously, right, everyone needs to tune into this and you'll
• 46:16
  Speaker 6: fa yes.
• 46:16
  Speaker 2: Please, yes please. I loved having you. I'm sorry you
• 46:20
  Speaker 2: didn't love Rush, but it sounds like you did love
• 46:23
  Speaker 2: being in a sorority absolutely, and you're do any thing now. Yes,
• 46:28
  Speaker 2: it all works out, okay, Levy