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Where's Doug? 1 · Scott & Ally on Demand

• 0:02
  SPEAKER_01: Ah, that's great.
• 0:03
  SPEAKER_01: So Ileana goes, Scott, please don't quit your day job.
• 0:07
  SPEAKER_01: But that was hilarious.
• 0:09
  SPEAKER_01: He was just naming the menu.
• 0:11
  SPEAKER_01: Sure.
• 0:12
  SPEAKER_01: Also, Colette uh was just dying.
• 0:15
  SPEAKER_00: Just dying.
• 0:16
  SPEAKER_00: Dying.
• 0:17
  SPEAKER_00: Um, another restaurant that I wanted to bring this story up to was a baby that was born in a KFC parking lot.
• 0:22
  SPEAKER_00: See, we went from the Wendy's parking lot to the KFC parking lot.
• 0:25
  SPEAKER_01: Sometimes they're next to each other or across the street.
• 0:28
  SPEAKER_00: A baby born in a KFC parking lot now has the nickname Colonel Cody.
• 0:33
  SPEAKER_01: That's the best thing.
• 0:34
  SPEAKER_01: And what do you get?
• 0:36
  SPEAKER_01: Do you get a bucket of chicken every year on your birthday guaranteed?
• 0:39
  SPEAKER_01: I think you should.
• 0:40
  SPEAKER_01: At least for the first.
• 0:41
  SPEAKER_00: Well, I mean, he can't eat the big thing.
• 0:43
  SPEAKER_01: But the first couple years aren't gonna do much.
• 0:44
  SPEAKER_00: But yeah, but that's when parents should be getting the chicken because those are the hardest years.
• 0:48
  SPEAKER_01: Yes, I think a bucket of chicken every year on your birthday just come through, it's uh it's Colonel Cody.
• 0:52
  SPEAKER_01: Yeah.
• 0:53
  SPEAKER_01: When he's 16 and he's out driving around with his friends, he's like, hey guys, watch this.
• 0:58
  SPEAKER_01: It's Colonel Cody.
• 1:00
  SPEAKER_00: It's gotta be one of those cards that you know how I don't know if you've ever had one before when you're friends of the police and you show the card to get out of tickets.
• 1:07
  SPEAKER_00: He has a card that he pulls out of his wallet that says Colonel Cody.
• 1:10
  SPEAKER_00: Colonel Cody.
• 1:11
  SPEAKER_00: Colonel Cody receives a bucket.
• 1:12
  SPEAKER_01: Unless Lauren is still working the drive-thru when uh she was when he was born 16 years earlier.
• 1:18
  SPEAKER_01: It could be.
• 1:18
  SPEAKER_00: And then she says, Oh, Cody, we got you.
• 1:24
  SPEAKER_00: And I hope that he gets the mashed potatoes too, because the mashed potatoes there are top tier.
• 1:29
  SPEAKER_00: I love those.
• 1:30
  SPEAKER_01: Alright, listen, I have a deep concern over something.
• 1:34
  SPEAKER_00: Okay.
• 1:35
  SPEAKER_01: We give you our horrible emo version of the Wendy's menu.
• 1:40
  SPEAKER_01: And normally by this point, 3386, the official ballbuster of the Scott and Alley show.
• 1:46
  SPEAKER_01: It's had the title for years.
• 1:47
  SPEAKER_01: Doug lives in Wellsboro.
• 1:49
  SPEAKER_01: Normally, by this point, either would have texted the show already, or that would have lit him up something fierce.
• 1:56
  SPEAKER_00: Yeah, I don't know if we said something that pissed him off, or How do we do that?
• 2:00
  SPEAKER_00: Here's the other thing.
• 2:02
  SPEAKER_00: It's so funny, and I love this.
• 2:04
  SPEAKER_00: It's so funny that we know when you guys are going on vacation.
• 2:07
  SPEAKER_00: You tell us, and that's that's true friendship.
• 2:10
  SPEAKER_01: I mean, I drive by your house to make sure nobody's busted in.
• 2:13
  SPEAKER_00: Because uh 349D, well, she goes on vacation like every other week.
• 2:16
  SPEAKER_00: Yeah.
• 2:17
  SPEAKER_00: Then we have Chris just went to Italy sending pictures of cheese and pepperonis and sausages and wines and all that stuff.
• 2:24
  SPEAKER_00: And then Doug has gone on vacation, has told us.
• 2:28
  SPEAKER_00: Yes, so if he's on vacation, right, if he's on vacation and didn't tell us, are we not friends anymore?
• 2:35
  SPEAKER_01: I hope it's just that because I'm not gonna tell you, or I mean, I'm not gonna lie to you when I say I'm a little concerned.
• 2:40
  SPEAKER_01: Doug has been here every day.
• 2:42
  SPEAKER_01: Uh-huh.
• 2:43
  SPEAKER_01: Every day.
• 2:44
  SPEAKER_00: For a while.
• 2:44
  SPEAKER_00: For a for years.
• 2:46
  SPEAKER_00: Well, uh, you know, and I think there are a few listeners that I think we've lost and we didn't know it.
• 2:51
  SPEAKER_00: Now there's listening to the city.
• 2:52
  SPEAKER_01: Now when you say lost, is that because you said something that pissed him off, or does that mean they passed?
• 2:57
  SPEAKER_00: The two that I'm thinking of, when I first started, we had a listener named Cindy.
• 3:02
  SPEAKER_00: And she was Cindy was a bit of a crier.
• 3:06
  SPEAKER_00: Oh yeah.
• 3:07
  SPEAKER_00: Crybaby Cindy, but she still came back.
• 3:09
  SPEAKER_01: Okay, that went from being okay to piss her off.
• 3:12
  SPEAKER_00: Okay.
• 3:13
  SPEAKER_00: And then we also had, we used to have a guy named Joe.
• 3:16
  SPEAKER_00: I think we lost him in COVID.
• 3:18
  SPEAKER_01: I think Joe passed in COVID as well.
• 3:20
  SPEAKER_01: Also, one we do know one listener in particular uh used to work for the Elmyra Police Department.
• 3:25
  SPEAKER_01: She was the secretary of the chief, not Ileana.
• 3:28
  SPEAKER_01: It was was it Ileana?
• 3:29
  SPEAKER_00: No, it was uh no, Ileana texts every morning.
• 3:32
  SPEAKER_00: Oh, what was her name?
• 3:34
  SPEAKER_00: Oh my god, you're right.
• 3:35
  SPEAKER_01: She was with us all the time, and the most dedicated person loved her.
• 3:39
  SPEAKER_01: Loved her.
• 3:40
  SPEAKER_01: And she was loved in that office.
• 3:42
  SPEAKER_01: She was she was loved at the police department.
• 3:44
  SPEAKER_00: I she she made me the most spicy salsa once.
• 3:47
  SPEAKER_00: Oh my god, yes.
• 3:48
  SPEAKER_00: I I I barely could eat because obviously she was Hispanic, which by the way, happy National Uh Hispanic Heritage Month.
• 3:55
  SPEAKER_00: So um, yeah, that what was her oh my god.
• 3:58
  SPEAKER_00: It was like Ileana, but it wasn't.
• 4:00
  SPEAKER_00: Yes, I can't remember.
• 4:03
  SPEAKER_01: Anyway, wonderful woman.
• 4:04
  SPEAKER_01: She actually just, you know, expired, if you will.
• 4:08
  SPEAKER_01: What a terrible way to say someone's life ended.
• 4:10
  SPEAKER_01: They expired.
• 4:11
  SPEAKER_01: It sounds like milk.
• 4:12
  SPEAKER_00: But when somebody leaves us, we we want to know what okay, first of all, did we piss you off?
• 4:17
  SPEAKER_00: Or is it you're sick?
• 4:18
  SPEAKER_00: Are you on vacation?
• 4:20
  SPEAKER_00: Just tell us.
• 4:21
  SPEAKER_01: Does somebody know 3386?
• 4:23
  SPEAKER_01: Do you know Doug from Wellsboro that you can at least say, um, Doug took a spill and then I have to send flowers to the hospital or something?
• 4:30
  SPEAKER_01: I don't want to hear that.
• 4:32
  SPEAKER_00: No, and we don't want to go to any funerals.
• 4:33
  SPEAKER_00: We have.
• 4:34
  SPEAKER_00: We've gone to listeners' funerals before.
• 4:35
  SPEAKER_01: We actually have, yeah.
• 4:37
  SPEAKER_00: Um, but I I don't want to do that.
• 4:38
  SPEAKER_00: I'd rather get invited to your weddings, baby showers, and birthday parties.
• 4:41
  SPEAKER_00: But we're deeply concerned where Doug is.
• 4:43
  SPEAKER_00: Yeah, well, and 3386, I was gonna tell you this too.
• 4:46
  SPEAKER_00: I was hoping to hang out with you next Friday because I'm going down to Wellsboro next Friday for a bluegrass little concert at the Dean Center, I think.
• 4:55
  SPEAKER_00: Cool.
• 4:56
  SPEAKER_00: I don't know, it's free.
• 4:57
  SPEAKER_00: And I love bluegrass.
• 4:58
  SPEAKER_00: So I was hoping free.
• 5:00
  SPEAKER_00: And yeah, yeah.
• 5:01
  SPEAKER_00: And I was hoping to see 3386 there, but um all right.
• 5:05
  SPEAKER_01: Search party's out.
• 5:06
  SPEAKER_01: We need to know what happened to uh two of them I'm I'm I'm I'm legit concerned at this point.
• 5:11
  SPEAKER_00: I don't even know his last name, though.
• 5:12
  SPEAKER_00: Do you?
• 5:13
  SPEAKER_01: We could scroll back and find it.
• 5:15
  SPEAKER_00: Oh, yeah, you're right.
• 5:16
  SPEAKER_01: We could go back through the text the last time he texted.
• 5:19
  SPEAKER_00: Does he have it registered?
• 5:20
  SPEAKER_01: Yeah, he's registered.
• 5:21
  SPEAKER_01: How do you think I know it's Doug?
• 5:22
  SPEAKER_00: Yeah, but I know you can register with a different, like a fake name.
• 5:25
  SPEAKER_01: Oh, you think he's Doug Hagenschlaber as opposed to Williams or something like that?
• 5:28
  SPEAKER_00: I'm just gonna use Pony Joe as an example.
• 5:30
  SPEAKER_00: He might be registered as like Pony Joe.
• 5:33
  SPEAKER_01: Oh.
• 5:34
  SPEAKER_01: Anyway.
• 5:35
  SPEAKER_01: Just letting you guys know that we we're worried.
• 5:37
  SPEAKER_00: Yeah, we get worried about you guys.
• 5:39
  SPEAKER_00: The way you guys well, I think you worry about us.
• 5:41
  SPEAKER_00: Maybe you don't worry about us.
• 5:43
  SPEAKER_01: We do because we hear about it anytime we run a best of.
• 5:45
  SPEAKER_01: Oh my god, the show's not the same when you're not there.
• 5:48
  SPEAKER_01: Or when Allie's gone, the show's not the same.
• 5:50
  SPEAKER_01: Or when Scott's gone, the show's not the same.
• 5:52
  SPEAKER_01: The show's better.