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Surviving-Those-Challenging-Years-Msg-3 · INSIGHT FOR LIVING: Biblical Wisdom For Everyday Living

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Speaker 1: Some of the best things in life are learned in
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Speaker 1: the crucible at times when we can't see our way through,
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Speaker 1: even occasions when we are convinced that this is, if
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Speaker 1: not the end, it's near the end. During those occasions,
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Speaker 1: some of life's best lessons are learned, and often the
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Speaker 1: more painful the experience, the more permanent the lesson. It
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Speaker 1: was several years ago that author Stephen King was hit
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Speaker 1: by a car. Never seemed to make much of the headlines,
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Speaker 1: and he really didn't say or write much about it
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Speaker 1: until two years later, after he had time to think
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Speaker 1: through the event and sort of do an appraisal of
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Speaker 1: it and the difference that it made in his life.
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Speaker 1: And so I quote his words, following the crucible of
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Speaker 1: that accident that almost killed him a couple of years ago.
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Speaker 1: I found out what you can't take it with you means.
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Speaker 1: I found out while I was lying in a ditch
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Speaker 1: at the side of a country road, covered with mud
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Speaker 1: and blood, and with the tibia of my right leg
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Speaker 1: poking out the side of my jeans like the branch
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Speaker 1: of a tree taken down in a thunderstorm. Stephen King
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Speaker 1: is gonna make it a horror story, no matter what
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Speaker 1: is huh got a bone sticking out of his leg?
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Speaker 1: I had a master card in my wallet, But when
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Speaker 1: you're lying in a ditch with broken glass in your hair,
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Speaker 1: no one accepts MasterCard. We all know that life is ephemeral.
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Speaker 1: But on that particular day, and in the months that followed,
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Speaker 1: I got a painful but extremely valuable look at life's
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Speaker 1: simple backstage truths. We come in naked and broke. We
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Speaker 1: may be dressed when we go out, but we're just
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Speaker 1: as broke. Warren Buffett gonna go out broke, Bill Gates
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Speaker 1: going out broke, Tom Hanks going out broke, Steve King
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Speaker 1: not a crying dime. All the money you earn, all
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Speaker 1: the stocks you buy, all the mutual funds you trade,
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Speaker 1: all of that is mostly smoking mirrors. It's still going
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Speaker 1: to be a quarter past getting late, whether you tell
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Speaker 1: time on a time X or rolex, no matter how
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Speaker 1: large your bank account, no matter how how many credit
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Speaker 1: cards you have. Sooner or later things will begin to
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Speaker 1: go wrong, and the only thing you will have that
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Speaker 1: you can really call your own will be your body,
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Speaker 1: your spirit, and your mind. So I want you to
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Speaker 1: consider making your life one long gift to others. It's
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Speaker 1: a great statement. I want you to consider making your
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Speaker 1: life one long gift to others. And why not. All
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Speaker 1: you have is on loan anyway, All that lasts is
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Speaker 1: what you pass on. If there would be one thing
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Speaker 1: that would surprise every one of us in this room,
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Speaker 1: this evening, it would be an awareness of the pain
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Speaker 1: those sitting around us are going through, or have gone through.
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Speaker 1: In every life there is a story, and in every
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Speaker 1: story there is a crucible, and the crucible is filled
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Speaker 1: with the stuff of which lessons are made. I came
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Speaker 1: across a wonderful piece that was written some time ago
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Speaker 1: and printed in the Harvard Business Review. It was a
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Speaker 1: work done by two men, Warren Bennis and Robert J. Thomas.
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Speaker 1: They have made a lengthy study over several years the
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Speaker 1: subject of leadership. They attempted to answer this question what
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Speaker 1: makes a leader? And they were surprised with the common denominator,
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Speaker 1: the main element that turned learned just a fairly ordinary
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Speaker 1: individual into a leader, and sometimes changed a leader completely
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Speaker 1: from one who had simply stood in front of a
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Speaker 1: group and done a little directing to a person who
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Speaker 1: really became a mentor, one who shaped others' lives. And
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Speaker 1: I quote here. We have come to believe it has
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Speaker 1: something to do with the different ways that people deal
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Speaker 1: with adversity, an individual's ability to find meaning in negative
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Speaker 1: events and to learn from even the most trying circumstances.
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Speaker 1: The skills required to conquer adversity and emerge stronger and
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Speaker 1: more committed than ever are the same ones that make
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Speaker 1: for extraordinary leaders. Not surprisingly, the word picture they use
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Speaker 1: throughout this article is a picture of a crucible crucible
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Speaker 1: they add just this little thought. Some of those extraordinary
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Speaker 1: lessons are violent, life threatening, others are more prosaic episodes
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Speaker 1: of self doubt. A crucible, by definition, don't miss this.
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Speaker 1: A crucible, by definition, is a transformative experience through which
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Speaker 1: an individual comes to a new or an altered sense
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Speaker 1: of identity. It happened to Stephen King, it happened in
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Speaker 1: the lives of these two men, as they tell their
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Speaker 1: stories in the article, It's happened in my life, it's
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Speaker 1: happened in Cynthia's life, it's happened in the members of
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Speaker 1: our family's lives, and it's happening in your life as well. Interestingly,
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Speaker 1: when it gets to be really painful, rather than embracing it,
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Speaker 1: we want to run from it, or we want to
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Speaker 1: take some substance that will take away the edge of it.
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Speaker 1: We want to escape it rather than realize. It is
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Speaker 1: in the pain of life that the most permanent lessons
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Speaker 1: are learned, and that includes, of course the family. Those
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Speaker 1: individuals who have met the most to me in my
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Speaker 1: years on this earth have been people who have been
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Speaker 1: equated with grief and heartache and heart share and pain
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Speaker 1: and loss and brokenness. I'm so glad we have with
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Speaker 1: us in this meeting a number of teenagers. We love
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Speaker 1: having you here, We love having you on this journey
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Speaker 1: with us. You represent more than you realize to those
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Speaker 1: of us getting up in years. We look with delight
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Speaker 1: on your future, that you have so many years in
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Speaker 1: front of you, whereas many of us have less years
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Speaker 1: in front of us than we have behind us. And
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Speaker 1: how fast we age. Isn't that amazing About the time
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Speaker 1: your face clears up, your mind gets fuzzy? Remarkable. One
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Speaker 1: man admitted, I've sure gotten old. I've had two bypass surgeries,
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Speaker 1: a hip replacement, new knees, a fought prostate cancer, diabetes,
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Speaker 1: I'm now half blind. I can't hear anything quieter than
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Speaker 1: a jet engine I take forty different medications that make
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Speaker 1: me dizzy, winded, and subject to blackouts. I have bounced
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Speaker 1: with dementia. I have poor circulation, can hardly feel my
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Speaker 1: hands and feet anymore, can't remember if I'm eighty five
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Speaker 1: or ninety two. I've lost all my friends, but thank
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Speaker 1: the Lord, I still have my driver's license. One of
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Speaker 1: my favorites is just simple, a two line deal. My
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Speaker 1: memory is not as sharp as it used to be. Also,
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Speaker 1: my memory is not as sharp as it used to be.
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Speaker 1: Love that. Oh, and by the way, so we got
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Speaker 1: youth around us that bring a sense of hope and
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Speaker 1: a burst of refreshment to life. And I love being
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Speaker 1: around you, And yet you drive us crazy that there
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Speaker 1: are times your parents simply do not know what to do.
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Speaker 1: One physician put it this way, when it comes to
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Speaker 1: rearing children, every society is only twenty years away from barbarism.
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Speaker 1: Twenty years is all we have to accomplish the task
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Speaker 1: of civilizing the infants who were born into our midst
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Speaker 1: every year. These savages know nothing of our language, our culture,
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Speaker 1: our religion, our values, our customs, or our interpersonal relations.
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Speaker 1: The infant is totally about fascism, democracy, civil liberties. The
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Speaker 1: rights of the minority has contrasted with the prerogatives of
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Speaker 1: the majority. They know little about respect and decency and
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Speaker 1: honesty and customs, conventions and manners. And he adds the
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Speaker 1: barbarian must be tamed if civilization is to survive. Rather
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Speaker 1: severe way to put it, I would say, however, who
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Speaker 1: knows what that man's been through. We laugh at the
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Speaker 1: term barbarism. But when I read the papers and I
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Speaker 1: see the results of an uncivilized generation. It's not because
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Speaker 1: I'm old. I say this. My heart aches as I
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Speaker 1: fear what this means for the future. And I think
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Speaker 1: of you, who are among the younger generation, who are
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Speaker 1: with us in this journey, and I think you could
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Speaker 1: very well be the leader of tomorrow. This is not
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Speaker 1: meant to be a commencement speech. It's genuine statement. When
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Speaker 1: centiing I were your age, we were at the age
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Speaker 1: of considering where our life was taking us. We had
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Speaker 1: no idea the direction it would go. But we have
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Speaker 1: good parents to thank, and we have faithful and godly
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Speaker 1: mentors to look back on with gratitude in our lives.
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Speaker 1: And if there's anything that we can pass along that
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Speaker 1: will help you in your journey to becoming the person
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Speaker 1: God would have you be. We want to do that.
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Speaker 1: We believe in you, we love you, we need you
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Speaker 1: in this journey, not just the week, but in the
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Speaker 1: journey of life. Now, with all of that as a background,
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Speaker 1: for the next few minutes, I want us to spend
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Speaker 1: our time in Proverbs. Okay, if you brought a Bible,
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Speaker 1: locate Proverbs twenty four and I want to focus on
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Speaker 1: just two verses to start with, and then randomly choose
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Speaker 1: a few other verses that tie in with the thoughts
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Speaker 1: I have in mind for enduring these days of struggle.
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Speaker 1: They're a struggle for you as teenagers, and I'm going
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Speaker 1: to say some words to you, and they're a struggle
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Speaker 1: for your parents as you're going through them. And maybe
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Speaker 1: we have grandparents here who will play a major role
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Speaker 1: in the teenagers in their in their grandchildren's lives. For
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Speaker 1: whatever it's worth, the most significant male adult in my
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Speaker 1: life growing up was my maternal grandfather, My maternal grandfather.
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Speaker 1: His impact on me is permanent. I still recall his words,
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Speaker 1: his counsel, his touch, his embrace, whispers in my ear.
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Speaker 1: I still remember very moving moments in my life with
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Speaker 1: my grandfather l O Lundy. And as I think back
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Speaker 1: over those formative years, I realized what a role he
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Speaker 1: played in my growing up. He was like an anchor
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Speaker 1: in life, just consistently the same. He loved the Lord,
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Speaker 1: taught an adult class in their little Baptist church in
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Speaker 1: El Campo, Texas for as long as I can remember,
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Speaker 1: the justice of the piece, as I mentioned the other day,
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Speaker 1: And just a faithful man. Remember he used to say
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Speaker 1: to me things like, be sure you have more behind
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Speaker 1: the counter than you ever put on display. Not a
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Speaker 1: great way to put it. Don't operate on the thin
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Speaker 1: edge of life, but have substance in your life. Grow deeper,
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Speaker 1: not just older, as you grow older, grow up, understand responsibility,
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Speaker 1: and on and on and so when I come to
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Speaker 1: Proverbs and I read words to my son, I often think,
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Speaker 1: if for my sake, it would be like my grandson
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Speaker 1: words for my grandson. I can almost hear my grandfather
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Speaker 1: saying some of these things. Look at Proverbs twenty four,
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Speaker 1: verses three and four. By wisdom a house is built,
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Speaker 1: and by understanding it is established, And by knowledge the
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Speaker 1: rooms are filled with all precious and pleasant riches. I'll
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Speaker 1: tell you there's a wealth of information. In those two verses,
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Speaker 1: let's sort of pick them apart, pick the words apart,
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Speaker 1: and put them back together in a way that will
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Speaker 1: help you see the value of these verses. Look again
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Speaker 1: at the three statements. Wisdom builds a house. Understanding establishes
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Speaker 1: or stabilizes the home, and knowledge furnishes the home with
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Speaker 1: things that last, things that are valuable. Now, let me
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Speaker 1: give you some definitions, and you can write this down
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Speaker 1: if you wish, or just listen closely. It'll all tie together.
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Speaker 1: Wisdom has to do with seeing with discernment. Seeing with discernment.
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Speaker 1: It includes having a broad perspective on the subject, regardless
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Speaker 1: of what the subject may be. When you have wisdom,
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Speaker 1: you see beyond today. You see beyond the obvious, You
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Speaker 1: see through just the spoken or the written. The term
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Speaker 1: suggests accuracy, and it always goes beneath the surface. There's
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Speaker 1: depth in the word wisdom. By wisdom, notice what it does.
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Speaker 1: A house is built. The term really means to restore
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Speaker 1: or rebuild by wisdom. A house is rebuilt by that,
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Speaker 1: it means a home, not the structure, the brick and
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Speaker 1: mortar and wood and tile that this is talking about
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Speaker 1: the home. Wisdom builds a home with depth it. It
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Speaker 1: even has the ability to restore a home that has
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Speaker 1: gone through destruction, maybe even a stronger word, devastation. Some
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Speaker 1: of you kids here with us have gone through the
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Speaker 1: divorce of your parents, and you feel devastated over that.
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Speaker 1: Sometime you can hardly put those feelings into words. For
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Speaker 1: whatever it's worth, your parents have trouble putting it into words.
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Speaker 1: That's not what they wanted, that's not what they planned on.
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Speaker 1: But there has been a devastating and impact brought on
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Speaker 1: by the fracturing of the home. Wisdom can help rebuild it.
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Speaker 1: And that's the reason God gives it to us, he
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Speaker 1: says in James One. We don't have it naturally, but
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Speaker 1: He will give it to us, and he says, just
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Speaker 1: ask for it. So it's a strange thing to say
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Speaker 1: to you who are younger, and really to all of us.
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Speaker 1: But I'm directing these words to the younger right now.
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Speaker 1: But I doubt that you've asked for wisdom lately. You
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Speaker 1: may want to ask for wisdom. Lord, give me a
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Speaker 1: depth of understanding, give me the ability to see through
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Speaker 1: what has happened, so that I know your hand, Your
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Speaker 1: providence is in all of my life, and your direction
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Speaker 1: is at work, and I am the object of your love.
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Speaker 1: And somehow I need to find my way through the
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Speaker 1: morass and the swamp of all the stuff that's happened
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Speaker 1: by wisdom. A house is a home is built. Now
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Speaker 1: see the word understanding, let's put these words with it.
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Speaker 1: This is a term that means respond with insight. Understanding
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Speaker 1: is the ability to respond to situations with insight, having
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Speaker 1: the ability to hear what is really being said, grasping
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Speaker 1: much of what isn't said. It's reading between the lines.
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Speaker 1: It's hearing the a audible. Understanding is what establishes. Literally,
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Speaker 1: that Hebrew term means to set in order, or better
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Speaker 1: to place upright something that has begun, to lean or
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Speaker 1: to topple. Understanding helps set back on its foundation, the home,
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Speaker 1: the family. Usually it's something that's twisted. Stability is within
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Speaker 1: the parameters of this term translated here. Established understanding establishes
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Speaker 1: the home. Now, the third word is knowledge, and this
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Speaker 1: has to do with learning with perception. Learning with perception, perceiving,
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Speaker 1: grasping a big picture. Now, this includes having a teachable spirit.
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Speaker 1: This is a willingness to hear and to accept. This
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Speaker 1: is what makes life meaningful and rich, not tangible money
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Speaker 1: kind of riches, but the riches that that that lead
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Speaker 1: to peace and harmony. Joy. Knowledge fills the room. Look
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Speaker 1: at the word filled. It fills the room. The rooms
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Speaker 1: are filled. The word is really an filling to abundance,
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Speaker 1: filling to overflowing is the idea, the idea of abundant satisfaction. Uh.
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Speaker 1: It makes life enriching is a good way to put it.
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Speaker 1: That would include the result of the result of this
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Speaker 1: would include a positive attitude toward our circumstances, motivation, the
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Speaker 1: cultivation of good relationships, pleasant memories, mutual will respect, a
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Speaker 1: depth of character. These are things that are so valuable
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Speaker 1: that if a house were to burn all the way
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Speaker 1: down to the concrete slab, none of these things would
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Speaker 1: have burnt up been burnt up. They are things that last.
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Speaker 1: They are beyond price. Now, parents, before I say more
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Speaker 1: to the younger ones here and grandparents, I say this
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Speaker 1: to you as well. I want you to notice I've
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Speaker 1: not given you a one, two, three, four step process
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Speaker 1: in putting this together, because Proverbs isn't written like that.
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Speaker 1: At the heart of Proverbs is philosophical thinking. I mean,
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Speaker 1: it's written by Solman this brilliant mind, and so as
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Speaker 1: he addresses these things, who knows but what he doesn't
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Speaker 1: fall back on his home as he is filled with
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Speaker 1: the memories of what he went through as a little boy.
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Speaker 1: It is it is very important for all of us,
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Speaker 1: as believers who are growing deeper in the things of Christ,
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Speaker 1: to stop looking for quick fixes or to think that
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Speaker 1: if I could just get down those three or four principles,
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Speaker 1: I've got it wired. It's more complicated than that. Sometimes,
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Speaker 1: in the most difficult of circumstances, you will be asked
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Speaker 1: to sacrifice, and you didn't expect it, and you don't
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Speaker 1: necessarily want to do it, but it is asked of you.
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Speaker 1: What a difference it could make in your home and
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Speaker 1: in your frame of in your way of thinking. I
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Speaker 1: came across a lovely, little true story of a six
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Speaker 1: year old girl who became deathly ill with a dreadful disease.
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Speaker 1: In order to survive, she needed a blood transfusion from
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Speaker 1: someone who had previously conquered the same illness and had
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Speaker 1: that in their blood in their system. The situation was
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Speaker 1: complicated by her rare blood tighte. Her nine year old
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Speaker 1: brother qualified as the donor a picture. This everyone was
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Speaker 1: hesitant to ask him since he was just a kid,
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Speaker 1: and finally they agreed to do so and to have
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Speaker 1: the doctor pose the question. The attending physician tactfully asked
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Speaker 1: the nine year old if he was willing to be
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Speaker 1: brave and donate blood for his sister to be able
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Speaker 1: to live. And though he didn't understand much about those
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Speaker 1: kind of things, the boy agreed, almost without hesitation. Sure,
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Speaker 1: he said, I'll give my blood from my sister. He
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Speaker 1: lay down beside his sister and smiled at her as
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Speaker 1: they pricked his arm with the needle, and then he
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Speaker 1: closed his eyes and lay silently on the bed as
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Speaker 1: the pint of blood was taken. Soon thereafter, the physician
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Speaker 1: came in to thank the little fellow, and the boy,
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Speaker 1: with trembling lips and tears running down his cheeks, asked, doctor,
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Speaker 1: now when do I die. At that moment, the doctor
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Speaker 1: realized that the naive little boy thought that by giving
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Speaker 1: his blood, he was giving up his life. Quickly, he
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Speaker 1: reassured the lad that he was not going to die, but,
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Speaker 1: amazed at his courage, the doctor asked, why were you
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Speaker 1: willing to risk your life for her? Because she's my sister,
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Speaker 1: he said, and because I love her. Very simple but
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Speaker 1: significant reply. I don't know the situation in your home.
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Speaker 1: I don't know what kind of spirit pervades. I don't
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Speaker 1: know the things you need to work on this week
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Speaker 1: to turn things around and to stabilize it. I do
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Speaker 1: understand crucibles, and I realized some of you are going
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Speaker 1: through some very very painful things. And in the midst
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Speaker 1: of such crucibles, it is easy to forget the value
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Speaker 1: of communication, affirmation, acknowledgement of fear, openness to discuss the struggle.
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Speaker 1: And as that little boy illustrates, it's amazing how resilient
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Speaker 1: children can be. Now, I want to for the next
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Speaker 1: few moments, before I finish, I want to give, especially
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Speaker 1: for the younger ones. Here three sort of life lessons
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Speaker 1: or life principles that I think will be helpful for you.
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Speaker 1: And then I'm through. Here's the first one. I draw
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Speaker 1: all three from the verses we just read. Wisdom emerges
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Speaker 1: in your life, young people, when you heed your parents' warnings.
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Speaker 1: Wisdom emerges in your life when you heed your parents' warnings.
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Speaker 1: Turn back from Proverbs twenty four to chapter one. Just
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Speaker 1: look at a few random verses out of Proverbs, by
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Speaker 1: the way, while you're turning this. Earlier this year, I
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Speaker 1: asked one of our grandsons to read Proverbs with me,
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Speaker 1: and we met every day throughout the month and we
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Speaker 1: read through the thirty one chapters of Proverbs. We used
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Speaker 1: the message, which is a little bit easier to grasp.
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Speaker 1: And each night or each afternoon, when he would come over,
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Speaker 1: he would sit here and I would sit there, and
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Speaker 1: we would we would simply read through the chapter together.
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Speaker 1: It was it was a terrific experience. At first, it
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Speaker 1: was a little awkward for him, and I understood that
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Speaker 1: we would always end with a short prayer. You know
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Speaker 1: when preachers pray, it tends to be you know Cobweb's
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Speaker 1: form often and you go from Alaska to Zurich in
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Speaker 1: your prayers. And but I I promised the Lord that
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Speaker 1: I would not in any way put him on the
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Speaker 1: spot or make him feel uncomfortable. But I really want
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Speaker 1: him to see the vibe. And we we read through
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Speaker 1: verses like I'm going to read for you look at
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Speaker 1: look at one eight. By the way. It's a good
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Speaker 1: project for grandparents who are here, if you have the
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Speaker 1: joy of living near them. Uh, just to ask you'll
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Speaker 1: be amazed how they may want to do that sort
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Speaker 1: of thing with you, and grandmothers and grandfathers as well.
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Speaker 1: Verse eight, Chapter one. Here, my son, your father's instructions.
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Speaker 1: Let's alter that a little. Here, sons and daughters, your
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Speaker 1: father's and mother's instruction. Just listen to them. Don't forsake
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Speaker 1: your mother's teaching. They are a graceful wreath to your
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Speaker 1: head and ornaments about your neck. That beautiful the way
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Speaker 1: Solomon writes that, look at verse ten, my son, if
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Speaker 1: sinners entice, you do not consent. This is a father
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Speaker 1: passing along a warning to his son. Maybe he's on
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Speaker 1: his way to school, maybe he's about to step out
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Speaker 1: on his own. We don't know anything about the age
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Speaker 1: of the boys in mind, but it's to sons, and
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Speaker 1: the same thing could be said to daughters. If sinners entice,
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Speaker 1: you do not consent. If they say come with us,
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Speaker 1: let us lie and wait for blood, let us ambush
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Speaker 1: the innocent without cause, you can figure that out quickly.
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Speaker 1: He's up to no good, and the warning is don't
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Speaker 1: go there. Look at fifteen the same chapter, my son,
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Speaker 1: don't walk in the way with them, keep your feet
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Speaker 1: from their path. The book is full of such warning.
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Speaker 1: There's a warning regarding being too familiar with the opposite sex,
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Speaker 1: and you'll get yourself into trouble, and you'll get another
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Speaker 1: one into trouble, and you will live years of your
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Speaker 1: life in regret simply because you ignored the warning of
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Speaker 1: your moms and dads. Wisdom emerges in your life when
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Speaker 1: you heed the warnings of your parents. Just a couple more,
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Speaker 1: Chapter four, verse one. Here o sons the instruction of
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Speaker 1: a father, and give attention that you may gain understanding.
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Speaker 1: For I give you sound teaching. Do not abandon my instruction.
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Speaker 1: There's also warnings in this book about laziness, and you'll
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Speaker 1: have your parents warn you about laziness. There are warnings
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Speaker 1: in here chapter eight about a bad attitude, and heeding
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Speaker 1: the warnings of your mom and dad will only result
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Speaker 1: in wisdom. And I can think back to so many
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Speaker 1: examples in my own life. My mother saw through so
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Speaker 1: many things in my life and I had no idea
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Speaker 1: of I had no really no interest in At the time,
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Speaker 1: I've told some of you this before. I was on
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Speaker 1: my way out to play Samdlote football and my mother
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Speaker 1: stopped me. She said, here's son, I want to I
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Speaker 1: want to show you a verse I'm cleaning for you.
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Speaker 1: And I thought, oh, brother, here we go another verse.
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Speaker 1: And she had put the she had put the verse
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Speaker 1: up on the on the little counter in front of
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Speaker 1: her at the sink, and she's doing the dishes, and
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Speaker 1: she said, I want you to see it. And she
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Speaker 1: read to me from Proverbs, A man's gift makes room
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Speaker 1: for him and brings him before great men. And she said,
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Speaker 1: I want you to remember that. I thought, okay, great, okay,
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Speaker 1: can I go now? I mean, I hardly heard her.
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Speaker 1: But you know, kids are like the log on the
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Speaker 1: frozen lake. It sits there on top, kind of blows
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Speaker 1: around the cold wind, and then spring comes and warm
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Speaker 1: weather hits, and before long the log sinks in and
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Speaker 1: it and they remember it. Years, decades passed, married, four
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Speaker 1: children later. I'm now in my forties and I'm about
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Speaker 1: to stand before this magnificent gathering of people at the
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Speaker 1: National Cathedral in Washington, d C. Me of all people
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Speaker 1: asked to speak there. It's packed with the military. It's
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Speaker 1: a Marine Corps graduation at Quantico and they're in their
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Speaker 1: dress whites, and the commandant is here in the three
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Speaker 1: star generals and two star generals, all in dress whites,
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Speaker 1: and here I've been asked to speak, and the common
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Speaker 1: ask we speak on integrity, and it was a wonderful gathering.
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Speaker 1: I remember the Drummond Buger Corps played with bagpipes. Amazing grace,
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Speaker 1: how sweet the sound. I'm sitting up here in the
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Speaker 1: great big choir area, pretty much alone, looking out over
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Speaker 1: this and listen to that music, and suddenly I remember,
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Speaker 1: A man's gift makes room for him and brings him
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Speaker 1: before a great man. My mother's words. She's been dead
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Speaker 1: for years. I share that for the one purpose of
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Speaker 1: having you, who are younger, understand that the wisdom of
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Speaker 1: your parents may not seem obvious or even at times fair.
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Speaker 1: But no one loves you more on earth than they do.
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Speaker 1: No one has your good at heart more than they do.
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Speaker 1: And when they pulled you aside and look you in
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Speaker 1: the eye and pass along a warning, take heed, be
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Speaker 1: better at it than I was. Listen. Thank them. Wisdom
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Speaker 1: emerges in your life when you heed your parents warning.
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Speaker 1: Here's a second one. Understanding grows as you get to
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Speaker 1: know God better. Understanding grows in your life as you
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Speaker 1: get to know God better. Chapter nine of this same book,
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Speaker 1: Verses ten and eleven. Chapter nine, verses ten and eleven.
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Speaker 1: The fear of the Lord is the beginning of wisdom,
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Speaker 1: and the knowledge of the Holy One is understanding. For
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Speaker 1: by me, your days will be multiplied and years of
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Speaker 1: life will be added to you. Here these truths are
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Speaker 1: personified as if they are living individuals, which is why
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Speaker 1: the writer says, by me, your days will be will
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Speaker 1: be multiplied. Here's the way the Living Bible renders this.
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Speaker 1: The reverence and fear of God are basic to all wisdom.
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Speaker 1: Knowing God results in every other kind of understanding. It
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Speaker 1: will make the hours of your day more profitable and
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Speaker 1: the years of your life more fruitful. This is a
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Speaker 1: good time for me to really ask every person in
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Speaker 1: this gathering. Do you genuinely know the Lord? Do you
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Speaker 1: know the Lord Jesus Christ in a personal way? Have
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Speaker 1: you ever in your life paused and understood that He
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Speaker 1: died for you on that cross, and in the days
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Speaker 1: that followed he was raised bodily and miraculously from the
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Speaker 1: dead with you in mind, having paid the complete penalty
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Speaker 1: for your And have you told the Lord Jesus that
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Speaker 1: you take him as your own God and savior by faith?
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Speaker 1: Alone and Christ alone, because of his grace alone, you
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Speaker 1: can know God personally. And this understanding I'm talking about
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Speaker 1: will oh my. The better you get to know the
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Speaker 1: Lord God, the deeper your life will be, and the
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Speaker 1: more you will see, the more you will realize. And
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Speaker 1: you won't hear it in your friends, you won't see
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Speaker 1: it among your contemporaries, you won't see this promoted in
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Speaker 1: your school, but you will know in your heart this
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Speaker 1: is the direction you ought to be going. If the
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Speaker 1: Lord Jesus has taken up residence in your life, you
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Speaker 1: really do know Christ. Have you given him the right
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Speaker 1: to rule over what your eyes look at, the people
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Speaker 1: you date, the ways you spend your time, the choices
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Speaker 1: you make from one day to the next. You see,
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Speaker 1: by really coming to know the Lord, you'll not only
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Speaker 1: know yourself better, You'll begin to see the value of
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Speaker 1: the Lord's presence at work in your life, and he
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Speaker 1: will make all the difference. Knowing him deeply and genuinely
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Speaker 1: will just it'll transform you now. Third, knowledge increases while
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Speaker 1: you adjust your life to right living. Knowledge increases while
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Speaker 1: you adjust your life to right living. Chapter twelve, Verse one.
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Speaker 1: Whoever loves discipline loves knowledge there it is. But he
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Speaker 1: who hates reproof is stupid. Do you like proverbs? And
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Speaker 1: just kind of punches you in the kisser, doesn't let
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Speaker 1: you get away with it, just says it's straight. If
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Speaker 1: you don't like being told what's wrong, you're stupid. There
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Speaker 1: won't be many years left in your life where people
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Speaker 1: will feel the freedom to do that. But parents do
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Speaker 1: feel the freedom when you step away from your home,
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Speaker 1: get out from under their roof and their influence. Rarely
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Speaker 1: will you meet anyone who will reprove you. So this
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Speaker 1: is your moment. These twenty years as you're learning, will
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Speaker 1: you will get reproofs? You know, honey, you need you
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Speaker 1: ought to stop doing that. You know that isn't the
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Speaker 1: way you ought to be dressing. That's not a appropriate
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Speaker 1: that that's seductive, that says things that you don't realize
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Speaker 1: as saying to uh to the guys at the school.
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Speaker 1: And you know, son, that's that's not smart. Uh. Reacting
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Speaker 1: like this to your teacher is not a smart thing
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Speaker 1: to do. You need to show respect and in the
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Speaker 1: reproof you you glean uh a character that will that
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Speaker 1: will well, you'll be rare. I was interviewing a young
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Speaker 1: man in our church. It's been a year ago now.
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Speaker 1: He was looking at West Point and as all of
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Speaker 1: you know, it's it's tough to get into the military academy,
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Speaker 1: and he so set his heart on it. He was
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Speaker 1: a first string at Frisco High School, played for the
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Speaker 1: Raccoons and first string safety for two years of his
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Speaker 1: three years there. It's a terrific athlete. Uh not straight
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Speaker 1: a but about a three point eight great point average.
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Speaker 1: Great parents. He was actually an adopted child. And as
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Speaker 1: I sat with him in my study, because part of
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Speaker 1: the part of the process of being ready to go
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Speaker 1: to or at least going through the interview process of
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Speaker 1: being accepted at the one of the academies is you
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Speaker 1: have to spend time with a counselor or with a pastor,
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Speaker 1: and he chose a pastor. And as I sat there,
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Speaker 1: I listened to this young man talk about his life,
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Speaker 1: and I tell you, I was incredibly impressed. He wasn't
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Speaker 1: trying to fake it. He wasn't there to put on
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Speaker 1: a show. He was just really what he was. I mean,
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Speaker 1: he served me to death. It was incredible. He showed respect.
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Speaker 1: He quietly answered. Sometime he would pause and think before
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Speaker 1: he would answer, and as I, as I interviewed him earlier,
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Speaker 1: I finally had to say, what is it about you
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Speaker 1: that I mean, you seem to be have a leg
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Speaker 1: up on your contemporaries. He said, Oh, that's not hard
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Speaker 1: to figure out. I was raised right here. He is
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Speaker 1: a seventeen year old kid already realizing he was raised
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Speaker 1: right good parents, fair parents, loving parents. But he had
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Speaker 1: accepted their reproofs. And he told me of two or
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Speaker 1: three I said, tell me two or three lessons you've
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Speaker 1: learned the hard way. He didn't hesitate. He told me,
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Speaker 1: I said, to the kids at school, know of your faith.
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Speaker 1: He said, they do. They do. Some of them don't
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Speaker 1: appreciate it, and I don't drive it down their throat.
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Speaker 1: But he said, I've learned. My dad taught me that
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Speaker 1: there's a way to live it in a way that
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Speaker 1: will make it clear that you really love the And
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Speaker 1: he said, I know there may be drawbacks. In fact,
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Speaker 1: the coach doesn't like it. He said he thinks I'd
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Speaker 1: be a better football player if I were a meaner.
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Speaker 1: He said, I probably would, but he said, I don't
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Speaker 1: want to be a mean daddy. Someday. Where do the
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Speaker 1: kids like that come from? It's unbelievable. Seventeen year old
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Speaker 1: boy talking about being a dad someday. How'd he get
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Speaker 1: there the reproofs of his parents. He listened to them.
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Speaker 1: So I close with two simple principles to both young
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Speaker 1: and old in our gathering this in this meeting. First
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Speaker 1: of all, to you who are younger, your number one
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Speaker 1: battle will be surrendering your rights while still living under
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Speaker 1: your parents' roof. Surrendering the rights to your own way
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Speaker 1: and your own will while you're living under the roof
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Speaker 1: of your parents. Wisdom, knowledge understanding will help you surrender
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Speaker 1: your rights. Parents. Our difficulty, our major battle, is surrendering
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Speaker 1: our rights to the ultimate control of our children. Every
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Speaker 1: year we release them a little more. Every year, more
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Speaker 1: and more we let them go. Like flying a kite,
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Speaker 1: You'll let out more and more of the string, and
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Speaker 1: more and more, until finally, way up there, you let
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Speaker 1: the string go. And it isn't easy to do that,
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Speaker 1: because we love them so much. So if I speak
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Speaker 1: to a teenager in this meeting who is struggling with
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Speaker 1: surrendering your rights, take heed to these words. And if
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Speaker 1: I speak to parents who are struggling with letting their
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Speaker 1: kids go, take heed at the heart of both battles
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Speaker 1: is just a basic selfishness. Listen to the words of
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Speaker 1: Ruth Harms Calkin, one of my favorite poets. I spoke
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Speaker 1: to her at the bus stop, but she turned the
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Speaker 1: other way. My immediate reaction a rush of resentment. She's
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Speaker 1: ignoring me. She doesn't really like me. I've always suspected it.
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Speaker 1: Now I know. Suddenly she looked toward me, startled, but
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Speaker 1: sincere Oh, forgive me. I didn't even see you until then.
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Speaker 1: I hadn't noticed the agony lining her face, a hesitant pause,
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Speaker 1: a catch in her voice. I just came from the
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Speaker 1: doctor's office. Our little boy has leukemia. It's all a
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Speaker 1: terrible nightmare. Lord Lord, what loathsome selfishness? A mother stricken
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Speaker 1: with grief, her heart soaked with pain, an hour of
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Speaker 1: black catastrophe, and I thought only of me. Cleanse me,
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Speaker 1: Lord sensitized me, until my first concern is for others,
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Speaker 1: and my last concern is for me. Men and women,
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Speaker 1: fellas and gals. The enemy in our home lives within
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Speaker 1: every one of our hearts and selfishness. Thinking of ourselves.
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Speaker 1: Every major battle that Cynthia and I have had as
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Speaker 1: we look back on it has pretty much reduced itself
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Speaker 1: to want or both of us selfishly pushing for something,
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Speaker 1: and thankfully, over the years we have finally identified it
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Speaker 1: and come to terms with it and been able to
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Speaker 1: call it what it is. Wisdom, understanding, knowledge, They're invaluable,
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Speaker 1: not like us to bow together for the close moment here.
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Speaker 1: I have no idea where this finds you, because I'm
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Speaker 1: not acquainted with you behind closed doors. I can only,
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Speaker 1: as we say, hit the high spots. But today you've
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Speaker 1: listened very well, subject have been pretty heavy. Well, if
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Speaker 1: we've caught the attention of just one of the young
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Speaker 1: people who pretty much been making life a hell on
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Speaker 1: earth for the family, it's been worth the time, or
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Speaker 1: maybe one of the parents, or maybe a negligent, preoccupied grandparent,
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Speaker 1: just all involved in your world and forgetting the fact
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Speaker 1: that God's given you longer life on this earth to
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Speaker 1: pour yourself into those who, as in my case, will
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Speaker 1: never forget what you say. It's a great time to
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Speaker 1: address your own selfishness as well. Lord help us in
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Speaker 1: the journey of earth to Heaven to become more self aware.
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Speaker 1: That's it, to become more self aware, to realize how
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Speaker 1: many of the things that escape our lips are driven
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Speaker 1: from a selfish motive, or in the urgent assault of
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Speaker 1: our lips, prompted from a heart that's proud, stubborn, selfish.
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Speaker 1: I pray that you will soften our spirits and thereby
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Speaker 1: strengthen our homes, so that we build those homes, and
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Speaker 1: we stabilize those homes, and we fill the rooms with
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Speaker 1: pleasant and precious and priceless virtues and memories. In the
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Speaker 1: name of Jesus, I asked this. Everybody said amen.
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Speaker 2: The preceding message, Surviving Those Challenging Years was copyrighted in
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Speaker 2: two thousand and nine, and the sound recording was copyrighted
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Speaker 2: in twenty fifteen by Charles R. Swindall, Inc. All rights
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Speaker 2: are reserved worldwide. In the preceding message, Charles R. Swind
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Speaker 2: All Ink is grateful to Ruth Harms Calkan for permission
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Speaker 2: to use her poem Sensitize Me Lord, copyrighted in nineteen
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Speaker 2: seventy four.