Latest / The Daily Ripples Podcast / September 6 – Clearing the Way Forward

Transcript

September 6 – Clearing the Way Forward · The Daily Ripples Podcast

• 0:04
  Well, welcome back to the Daily Ripples podcast.
• 0:09
  Today is Sunday.
• 0:10
  September the 6th.
• 0:12
  But before we get into all that, I got to address something a little bit here because if you listened to yesterday's episode, which was Saturday, then you'll know that Corey came in swinging a little bit.
• 0:25
  He, uh, he didn't like the, what he felt that the, uh, the, the stone of the daily ripples that day was reflecting back to what people in recovery call living amends, and I think he made his stance on that pretty clear, but sometimes it's a little bit more nuanced than than all of that.
• 0:45
  And he said yesterday that, you know, I wasn't here to defend anything or he said that the past, but as you all know, how this works with us.
• 0:54
  We both at times want to get the last word in.
• 0:58
  And so since Sunday comes after Saturday.
• 1:00
  I guess I get to win on that this time.
• 1:02
  But we'll get to that in a minute.
• 1:04
  But let's start the way we always do with our daily ripples devotional for Sunday, September the 6th, and it reads on this wise, the stone.
• 1:17
  Wisely making amends removes obstacles that keep me from living freely with God and others.
• 1:23
  Ripple one practical.
• 1:25
  Today, I will seek peace without causing unnecessary harm.
• 1:28
  Not every wrong can be repaired in the same way, but every situation deserves wisdom, honesty, and love.
• 1:35
  I can trust God to show me the right path.
• 1:38
  Ripple 2, spiritual.
• 1:40
  As I follow Christ's example of reconciliation.
• 1:43
  The Holy Spirit gives me wisdom to know when to speak, and when to remain silent.
• 1:48
  The Father is more concerned with healing than simply settling accounts.
• 1:53
  As I walk in his wisdom, he clears the path toward deeper peace.
• 1:57
  And as always, we will save our prayer for the end of the episode.
• 2:03
  So like I said, before we dive straight into picking apart our daily ripples devotional for today, let's talk back to what yesterday on the episode Corey was actually pushing back on, you know, the reflection that he was reading yesterday morning makes the case for indirect amends.
• 2:22
  And that was based on the source material, of recovery, literature, as well as the way it was can gets down in stone.
• 2:30
  But those indirect amends are talking about people whose, you know, paths you might have crossed only briefly.
• 2:36
  You might not have even known their name.
• 2:38
  They're completely untraceable now.
• 2:39
  And that's where that courtesy practice today line and there is referencing to.
• 2:44
  Not just because we would rather not go make a direct amends to somebody.
• 2:50
  That is never the right answer for indirect amends.
• 2:53
  And that's more what Corey, I think, was talking about and what he's worried about, is that that category of indirect or untraceable is sometimes easy to for people to make excuses and get hidden in.
• 3:05
  They can, you know, expand that to just mean that they would rather not.
• 3:09
  You know, you could call something a living amends when what you really mean is that you have no intention of going and making an amend to that person.
• 3:18
  So yeah, Corey went on to page 79 and read the promise, you know, back to us, no matter what the personal consequences may be.
• 3:24
  And he was right to do that, because our willingness should be unconditional.
• 3:28
  That part isn't necessarily up for discussion, but today is more about, you know, the other side of that or continuing on the same thing because willingness settles whether to make an amends or not.
• 3:41
  But it doesn't settle necessarily how to make those amends.
• 3:44
  And the how in the amends is sometimes where people get hurt.
• 3:48
  And so what we really should be approaching this work of making amends or working for reconciliation, if we're talking about just in a Christian context, is about our total willingness to set things right.
• 4:00
  Not, you know, sitting back and using an excuse to not do it, but total willingness, but that total willingness that we have needs to be governed by wisdom.
• 4:13
  And that's part of the reason why this is step nine and not step one or two.
• 4:18
  The reason why step 9 is because by this point, hopefully through working the other 8 steps, you have improved your contact with your higher power, who we choose to call God around here, and that is the source of the wisdom that we have.
• 4:31
  So let's look at what the actual step 9 actually says.
• 4:35
  It says we made direct amends to such people wherever possible, except when to do so would injure them or others, and that accept is doing a lot of work there too.
• 4:45
  It doesn't say, except when to do so would injure me.
• 4:49
  You know, that's what Corey said he initially tried to make his argument on that others included him.
• 4:54
  I think we've heard him talk about that a little bit on this show before, but it's injured them.
• 4:59
  In other words, the person that I would be making an amends to or other people.
• 5:03
  It doesn't say as yourself, the way that the 2nd greatest commandment does.
• 5:08
  And most of us, we're okay.
• 5:10
  We can recite that 1st half of that, but that exception clause is right there in the same sentence.
• 5:15
  The book is also careful about why that clause is there, that except when to do so would injure them or others.
• 5:22
  If you look back to the 12 and 12 and the step 9 chapter,
• 5:26
  The only exceptions that it tells me that I can make are cases where our disclosure would cause actual harm to somebody else. And discomfort to me, and within my own spirit, has never once qualified or counted as a reason not to make a direct amends.
• 5:43
  On page 79 of the big book, it's, you know, even more blunt about it.
• 5:48
  It says, we're not to be the hasty and foolish martyr who need needlessly sacrifice others to save himself from the alcoholic pit.
• 5:56
  The hasty part, the martyr part, you know, those are some strong words.
• 6:01
  Sometimes we can be so eager to feel clean that, you know, we, we make an amend that we should hold back on or maybe we should make it in a different way.
• 6:10
  And on the inside, you know, cover also from the step 9 chapter, and what I mean by inside cover, this might be one that we need to write on the inside cover of whatever recovery book we're studying.
• 6:23
  But it's from step nine, chapter and it says, we cannot buy our own piece of mind at the expense of others.
• 6:29
  So, to any name that, if you're listening to this and you owe an amends to somebody, if there's anybody that you need to be making that amends to, if you're in recovery, that means that you're actually on step 9 or if you're just listening for spiritual growth in formation, there's likely somebody in your life that you owe an amends to, that you owe setting things right.
• 6:50
  And so think about that name.
• 6:52
  Is that person really out of reach? Or is it just that you are out of reach?
• 6:57
  You know, one of those is wisdom knowing that somebody is actually out of reach.
• 7:01
  And the other, the MI out of reach, well, that's the thing that Corey was warning us about yesterday.
• 7:07
  So let's think about when to speak and when to wait on that.
• 7:12
  Says in our devotional today, the Holy Spirit gives me wisdom to know when to speak and when to remain silent.
• 7:19
  And this is listed as something that the Holy Spirit gives me.
• 7:23
  In other words, I can make a list and know that I never have to speak to anybody ever again, but that's not what my higher power tells me.
• 7:31
  My own timing, my own thinking is what got me into this to begin with.
• 7:36
  You know, Ecclesiastes three, you know, it puts things, you know, beside each other.
• 7:43
  It says a time to keep silence and a time to speak.
• 7:45
  It's talking about seasons, and neither one of them is referring to the cowards option of choosing not to do anything.
• 7:57
  The big book On page 83 talks about when it is time.
• 8:03
  It's a sensible, tactful, considerate and humble without being servile or scraping.
• 8:08
  That's our job.
• 8:09
  That's what we're supposed to do when we're going about making these amends.
• 8:12
  Sensible, tactful, considerate and humble.
• 8:15
  For me, this is where it always comes back to those considerations that I have anytime, then I need to say something hard or painful to somebody else.
• 8:24
  And those are the considerations of, doesn't need to be said.
• 8:28
  Well, if I mess something up, then I definitely need to be saying something to the person who's trying to make it right.
• 8:34
  And then it doesn't need to be said by me.
• 8:37
  Well, if I'm the one that messed up, then I'm clearly the one that has the job of making it right.
• 8:43
  So that's a yes.
• 8:43
  And then the 3rd one is, does it need to be said by me right now?
• 8:46
  And I have to rely on God to reveal for me when is the right time to make those amends.
• 8:55
  It also says in our devotional today, the father is more concerned with healing than simply settling accounts.
• 9:03
  And that's important for me because I used to not view my higher power, who I choose to call God, in that way.
• 9:10
  I used to view God as a punishing and a settling accounts kind of God, and that's based on how I was raised, but I've come to know God through recovery as a loving creator, as somebody who does not make too hard a terms for those who seek him.
• 9:24
  You know, in, in, Luke 15 is where we find the parable of the prodigal son.
• 9:30
  You know, he's out there and he's at his rock bottom and he decides to go back home and he says that, you know, he rehearses what he's going to say to his dad when he gets there, right?
• 9:39
  So he's on the way back and he's rehearsing and he's like, okay, I know what I'm going to say.
• 9:43
  I've sinned against heaven and before you.
• 9:45
  I'm no longer worthy to be called your son.
• 9:47
  And then he says, treat me like one of your hired hands.
• 9:50
  So in other words, he's thinking that to make things right, he has to settle the accounts with his dad.
• 9:55
  But what happens when he got there is that we read that the father runs out to him.
• 10:00
  The son starts the speech.
• 10:02
  And what the text actually shows us is that lying about being a hired hand never actually leaves the sun's mouth.
• 10:09
  He rehearsed it in verse 19, but it's gone by the time he gets to verse 21.
• 10:14
  And the next thing in the passage is the father calling for a robe and a ring.
• 10:17
  Now, whether the father cut him off or whether the son took a look at the welcome he was receiving and dropped to the line himself, well, the author of the gospel of Luke does the say.
• 10:26
  But either way, the settlement he came to propose never got made.
• 10:30
  You know, the son wanted the account settled, but the father just wanted his son back.
• 10:35
  And those are 2 very different ways of approaching that.
• 10:39
  And only one of them was ever on the table, the full and complete reconciliation.
• 10:44
  Jesus showed us what reconciliation is like.
• 10:47
  And then we read again in Romans 12, verse 18 that if it's possible so far as it depends on you, live peaceably with all.
• 10:55
  And there's more than one qualifier in there, says, if it is possible.
• 11:00
  And so far as it depends on you.
• 11:03
  Which means that some of that stays outside of my control is outside of my hands.
• 11:08
  My part is the part that I can actually reach.
• 11:10
  And when we're talking about indirect amends, that's more to bring it all the way back, that's more what we're talking about, is that how could I possibly make a direct amends to somebody that I don't even know where they are today.
• 11:21
  Now, that said, I remain open in my heart and in my mind to a possible future encounter with that person and the readiness and the willingness to make an amends as led and guided by the Holy Spirit whenever I get the chance to do that.
• 11:37
  But the readiness to take the full consequences of our past acts and to take responsibility for the well being of others at the same time, that is the very spirit of step nine.
• 11:47
  And that's what we find when we read that chapter on step 9 in the 12 and 12.
• 11:52
  Both of those are at the same time.
• 11:54
  Both hands take full consequences of my past acts and take responsibility for the well-being of others at the same time.
• 12:02
  So that's more the direct amends.
• 12:05
  It's always making a direct amends in person, and then changing my life and my behavior today and every day so that I don't repeat those same mistakes.
• 12:15
  And that's where the word in our stone is very important, wise, wisely making amends, removes obstacles.
• 12:24
  So 2 things for today.
• 12:25
  There's a name that you've been calling untraceable, but you're really just unwilling to make any type of amends to them.
• 12:31
  Be honest about which of you is actually out of reach. Is the person that you owe?
• 12:37
  A man is too truly out of reach or are you?
• 12:39
  I think Corey would challenge us now and always to always consider ourselves first.
• 12:46
  But if there's a name that you've been rushing toward, ask who else is standing behind them and ask somebody you trust before you go, maybe, that whether if you're unsure whether your direct amends would cause actual harm to another person, maybe do a little research on that, a little praying about that and let yourself be guided by the Holy Spirit.
• 13:05
  So, Corey, you were absolutely right yesterday, willingness has no exceptions.
• 13:11
  But today says that the method has plenty of exceptions, but the difference between the 2 is wisdom.
• 13:19
  And our goal was never about a totally cleared ledger of the past because we can never write some wrongs, as the big book tells us, but it's about clearing the path, so that as we move forward, we don't continue to stumble over the stones that became our stumbling block in the past.
• 13:36
  Let's pray together.
• 13:38
  Father God, give me wisdom as I seek to make things right.
• 13:42
  Through your Holy Spirit, guide my words and actions with love and discernment.
• 13:46
  Shape me through the example of Jesus, and lead me in the way of peace.
• 13:50
  Amen.