Latest / Funny Comedy | Laugh Out Loud / S4 Ep4: Jo Koy's Greatest Hits 🤣.

Transcript

S4 Ep4: Jo Koy's Greatest Hits 🤣. · Funny Comedy | Laugh Out Loud

• 0:00
  SPEAKER_02: I'm tired of hanging out with people that just always want to bring you fucking down.
• 0:03
  SPEAKER_02: You know what I mean?
• 0:04
  SPEAKER_02: Like just negative motherfuckers.
• 0:06
  SPEAKER_02: I call them energy vampires.
• 0:08
  SPEAKER_02: You know they just suck the fucking energy out of you.
• 0:12
  SPEAKER_02: But as humans, we like to hang out with people like that because we want to make them happy, right?
• 0:15
  SPEAKER_02: It's our job.
• 0:16
  SPEAKER_02: Oh, let's make them happy.
• 0:17
  SPEAKER_02: Let's hang out with them.
• 0:18
  SPEAKER_02: Let's take them out.
• 0:18
  SPEAKER_02: Let's make them happy.
• 0:20
  SPEAKER_02: And then you do that for like eight hours, and at the end you're just like, that was fucking exhausting.
• 0:25
  SPEAKER_02: You know what I'm talking about?
• 0:28
  SPEAKER_02: There's some of you that don't want to laugh or respond because you brought that motherfucker here tonight.
• 0:35
  SPEAKER_02: There's some of you listening right now, and they're just going, uh get rid of that motherfucker tonight.
• 0:48
  SPEAKER_02: Break up with him tonight.
• 0:49
  SPEAKER_02: That low energy having motherfucker.
• 0:52
  SPEAKER_02: Get the fuck.
• 0:53
  SPEAKER_02: You came to a comedy show just to have a shitty fucking look on your face.
• 0:57
  SPEAKER_02: Fuck you.
• 1:05
  SPEAKER_02: My mom was a shit.
• 1:06
  SPEAKER_02: My mom and dad divorced when I was like 10, 11 years old.
• 1:11
  SPEAKER_02: My mom had to raise us on her own.
• 1:13
  SPEAKER_02: She did that shit on her own.
• 1:15
  SPEAKER_02: Tough as shit.
• 1:19
  SPEAKER_02: Sometimes a little too tough.
• 1:22
  SPEAKER_02: Like it's borderline illegal.
• 1:27
  SPEAKER_02: It sucks.
• 1:28
  SPEAKER_02: She never took this as a doctor.
• 1:30
  SPEAKER_02: My mom never took this as a doctor.
• 1:31
  SPEAKER_02: My mom raised us like we were still in the Philippines.
• 1:35
  SPEAKER_02: She tried to cure everything at home.
• 1:38
  SPEAKER_02: Like a real Filipino woman.
• 1:41
  SPEAKER_02: Never.
• 1:43
  SPEAKER_02: You had to die to go to the hospital.
• 1:46
  SPEAKER_02: Shit.
• 1:47
  SPEAKER_02: My mom cured everything with Vicks Vaporized.
• 1:52
  SPEAKER_02: Vince vaporized.
• 1:55
  SPEAKER_03: I put it down the times when I was a kid.
• 1:59
  SPEAKER_02: That's the views.
• 2:04
  SPEAKER_02: I'll put extra bits on your body just like everybody crossed away.
• 2:10
  SPEAKER_02: Grab it on the bottom of the foot.
• 2:13
  SPEAKER_02: And then put a sop on the foot.
• 2:16
  SPEAKER_02: And then the pneumonia will come out of the foot, Johnson.
• 2:23
  SPEAKER_02: Just smothered in fucking bits.
• 2:28
  SPEAKER_02: I should have called the clock.
• 2:32
  SPEAKER_02: One time I was so sick, I swear to God, tooth story.
• 2:35
  SPEAKER_02: I go, Mom, I don't feel good.
• 2:36
  SPEAKER_02: I can't sleep.
• 2:37
  SPEAKER_02: I can't sleep.
• 2:38
  SPEAKER_02: My mom took a finger and stuck it in Vic.
• 2:42
  SPEAKER_02: And rubbed it on top of my eyes.
• 2:46
  SPEAKER_02: On top of my eyes.
• 2:48
  SPEAKER_01: That shit burned so better than mom at birds.
• 2:51
  SPEAKER_01: I can't open my eyes.
• 2:53
  SPEAKER_03: My mom goes, Well, then you can see.
• 2:58
  SPEAKER_02: Good night, Jose.
• 3:01
  SPEAKER_02: My son, god damn it.
• 3:03
  SPEAKER_02: He's 15.
• 3:04
  SPEAKER_02: There's the thing about 15-year-old boys, man.
• 3:06
  SPEAKER_02: He thinks he's being slick and he's not.
• 3:10
  SPEAKER_02: I keep telling him that, too.
• 3:12
  SPEAKER_02: And that's the thing.
• 3:12
  SPEAKER_02: If you got boys, if you got a little boy, just be honest with him.
• 3:15
  SPEAKER_02: I talk to him like dudes.
• 3:16
  SPEAKER_02: I can't speak for girls.
• 3:18
  SPEAKER_02: I'm just saying, if you have a little teenage boy, I talk to him like dudes.
• 3:21
  SPEAKER_02: I don't respect you more.
• 3:22
  SPEAKER_02: I don't hide shit.
• 3:23
  SPEAKER_02: I don't candy coach shit.
• 3:24
  SPEAKER_02: I let my son know.
• 3:26
  SPEAKER_02: Like, Joe, I know what you did in there.
• 3:33
  SPEAKER_02: What are you talking about, Dad?
• 3:34
  SPEAKER_02: Well, I'm just saying, like, I was 15, and I I know what you did in there.
• 3:41
  SPEAKER_02: Like, all the creepy shit you're doing, I did too.
• 3:44
  SPEAKER_02: I was just better at it.
• 3:47
  SPEAKER_02: What are you talking about?
• 3:49
  SPEAKER_02: Joe, come on, man.
• 3:49
  SPEAKER_02: I know what you did.
• 3:50
  SPEAKER_02: You were in the shower for 30 minutes, man.
• 3:51
  SPEAKER_02: I know what you did.
• 3:53
  SPEAKER_02: I didn't do anything.
• 3:54
  SPEAKER_02: I just took a shower.
• 3:55
  SPEAKER_02: I'm like, Joe, you didn't take a shower.
• 3:56
  SPEAKER_02: How do you know I didn't take a shower?
• 3:58
  SPEAKER_02: Joe, you were in there for 30 minutes, and your hair is dry.
• 4:09
  SPEAKER_02: I watch you a big bottle of head and shoulders and it's empty.
• 4:15
  SPEAKER_02: But you still have dandruff.
• 4:16
  SPEAKER_02: I don't know, I don't want it.
• 4:19
  SPEAKER_02: But your dick always smells like mints.
• 4:21
  SPEAKER_02: It's just mints.
• 4:23
  SPEAKER_02: Mint and zinc come from here.
• 4:29
  SPEAKER_02: Head and shoulders, Joe.
• 4:30
  SPEAKER_02: Not dick and hand.
• 4:31
  SPEAKER_02: That's that.
• 4:36
  SPEAKER_01: Head and shoulders.
• 4:38
  SPEAKER_01: Doesn't say dick and hand, Joe.
• 4:40
  SPEAKER_01: It says head and shoulders.
• 4:46
  SPEAKER_02: Alright, Dad.
• 4:47
  SPEAKER_02: Alright.
• 4:48
  SPEAKER_02: That's how my son is now.
• 4:49
  SPEAKER_02: Now he's cool with it.
• 4:50
  SPEAKER_02: Alright.
• 4:51
  SPEAKER_02: Alright.
• 4:53
  SPEAKER_02: I promise.
• 4:55
  SPEAKER_02: I'll be I'll be out naked so you don't know.
• 4:59
  SPEAKER_02: Then he went to high-five me.
• 5:01
  SPEAKER_02: I promise.
• 5:01
  SPEAKER_02: I'm like, I'm not gonna fucking shake your head.
• 5:05
  SPEAKER_02: I'm not gonna touch the murder weapon.
• 5:08
  SPEAKER_02: No one takes sleep apnea serious.
• 5:11
  SPEAKER_02: They laugh when I say I have that problem.
• 5:13
  SPEAKER_02: Ha ha, it's funny.
• 5:15
  SPEAKER_02: That shit is a serious problem.
• 5:18
  SPEAKER_02: People with sleep apnea get to say that we fight death every night.
• 5:22
  SPEAKER_02: I'm this close to dying.
• 5:24
  SPEAKER_02: And I fucking win every time I wake up a survivor.
• 5:29
  SPEAKER_02: Who gets to say that every night, this close to dying?
• 5:32
  SPEAKER_02: I do, sleep apnea, but no one respects it because I have to wear a big fucking mask.
• 5:40
  SPEAKER_02: That's why guys hate that.
• 5:42
  SPEAKER_02: That's the only thing that'll cure us.
• 5:43
  SPEAKER_02: It's a goddamn mask.
• 5:44
  SPEAKER_02: There's no surgery, and that's why guys hate to admit that they have sleep apnea.
• 5:48
  SPEAKER_02: They'll say they're snoring until they die, and they literally fucking die.
• 5:53
  SPEAKER_02: I guarantee there's a guy in it right now.
• 5:55
  SPEAKER_02: There's a woman his girlfriend is like, you you listen, fucking, listen, fucking idiot.
• 6:00
  SPEAKER_02: Look, they're all pointing.
• 6:01
  SPEAKER_02: It's like clockwork.
• 6:03
  SPEAKER_02: They're all look, she's so happy.
• 6:05
  SPEAKER_02: Right here, this cocksucker, right here.
• 6:08
  SPEAKER_02: Right there.
• 6:10
  SPEAKER_02: And what's your name?
• 6:11
  unknown: Dylan.
• 6:12
  SPEAKER_02: Dylan.
• 6:13
  SPEAKER_02: How long have you been with Dylan?
• 6:15
  unknown: Four years.
• 6:16
  SPEAKER_02: Four years.
• 6:16
  SPEAKER_02: And he won't.
• 6:17
  SPEAKER_02: He won't listen to you.
• 6:19
  SPEAKER_02: Look, absolutely not.
• 6:21
  SPEAKER_02: I'm not wearing that.
• 6:23
  SPEAKER_02: I'm not wearing that thing.
• 6:24
  SPEAKER_02: I'd rather fucking talk.
• 6:28
  SPEAKER_02: He's serious.
• 6:30
  SPEAKER_02: Four years she loves you, dude?
• 6:32
  SPEAKER_02: Wear the goddamn mask.
• 6:33
  SPEAKER_02: Because she'll save your life.
• 6:34
  SPEAKER_02: Oh, you're married?
• 6:35
  SPEAKER_02: Yeah.
• 6:36
  SPEAKER_02: And he still doesn't want to listen to you?
• 6:37
  SPEAKER_02: I'm getting married.
• 6:38
  SPEAKER_02: You're getting married?
• 6:39
  SPEAKER_02: Yeah.
• 6:40
  SPEAKER_02: And he still won't wear it.
• 6:40
  SPEAKER_02: And he still won't wear it.
• 6:42
  SPEAKER_02: Fuck him, let him die.
• 6:44
  SPEAKER_01: Fuck him.
• 6:45
  SPEAKER_01: Fuck him.
• 6:47
  SPEAKER_01: Fuck him, dude.
• 6:49
  SPEAKER_01: Fuck Dylan.
• 6:50
  SPEAKER_01: Fuck Dylan.
• 6:50
  SPEAKER_02: That's what I'll say on his too, so fuck Dylan.
• 6:53
  SPEAKER_02: Fuck Dylan.
• 6:54
  SPEAKER_02: He should have been here.
• 6:55
  SPEAKER_02: He should have been here.
• 6:57
  SPEAKER_02: I'm talking to every guy in here.
• 6:59
  SPEAKER_02: If you're dating a lady or if you're married to a woman, you better cherish her.
• 7:03
  SPEAKER_02: Because she loves you for you.
• 7:06
  SPEAKER_02: Your soul, your brain, that's what she's in love with.
• 7:09
  SPEAKER_02: It's not you physically.
• 7:11
  SPEAKER_02: I swear to God, it's not you.
• 7:13
  SPEAKER_02: She loves you, the inside, your soul.
• 7:15
  SPEAKER_02: That's what she loves.
• 7:16
  SPEAKER_02: Remember that shit.
• 7:17
  SPEAKER_02: I'll tell you right now, and I know there's good-looking guys in your life.
• 7:20
  SPEAKER_02: You ain't talking to me.
• 7:21
  SPEAKER_02: Fuck you, you too.
• 7:23
  SPEAKER_02: You too.
• 7:24
  SPEAKER_02: You too.
• 7:24
  SPEAKER_02: You have a cute face until you take clothes off, and then you look like a melted candle.
• 7:29
  SPEAKER_02: Just it, ugh.
• 7:30
  SPEAKER_02: You got a goddamn red mole, the fucking hair sticking out of it.
• 7:39
  SPEAKER_02: I wear, I like to wear polo underwear.
• 7:41
  SPEAKER_02: That's my favorite underwear.
• 7:42
  SPEAKER_02: It's the same one.
• 7:43
  SPEAKER_02: Is it on the back, on the on the waistband, it says polo by Ralph Laurent.
• 7:47
  SPEAKER_02: And then in the front, my stomach pushes it over and it says, ooh, by la la.
• 7:57
  SPEAKER_02: That's what the fuck it says.
• 7:58
  SPEAKER_02: Doesn't look anything like the goddamn package.
• 8:01
  SPEAKER_02: Ooh, my lala my lala.
• 8:03
  SPEAKER_02: And I know there's guys in here that know what I'm talking about.
• 8:06
  SPEAKER_02: Doesn't say hang, it's just Yeah, you, motherfucker.
• 8:12
  SPEAKER_02: You, you know, you, every fucking guy in here tonight.
• 8:15
  SPEAKER_02: All my friends, when I was a kid, man, they would go to the mom, mom, can I get a snack?
• 8:19
  SPEAKER_02: And she pulls out delicious snacks out of her purse.
• 8:22
  SPEAKER_02: Doritos, fun-size Snickers.
• 8:24
  SPEAKER_02: I run up to my mom.
• 8:26
  SPEAKER_02: Shit.
• 8:28
  SPEAKER_02: Her snacks were something she took from a restaurant.
• 8:36
  SPEAKER_02: Run up to my mom, Mom, can I get a snack?
• 8:38
  SPEAKER_02: Oh, here's some oyster crackers.
• 8:44
  SPEAKER_02: Oyster crackers are made to absorb soup.
• 8:48
  SPEAKER_02: She wants me to eat this before I go to class.
• 8:50
  SPEAKER_02: Put that in your stomach.
• 8:52
  SPEAKER_02: Put it in my swallow it.
• 9:03
  SPEAKER_02: That's my mom's hustle.
• 9:06
  SPEAKER_02: That's any mom's hustle, I swear to God.
• 9:09
  SPEAKER_02: And here's the thing, man, it doesn't matter how much they make, it doesn't matter, they will get free shit.
• 9:14
  SPEAKER_02: If it's there, get it.
• 9:16
  SPEAKER_02: My mom said that to me all the time.
• 9:18
  SPEAKER_02: Get it.
• 9:19
  SPEAKER_02: Go back in there and get it.
• 9:22
  SPEAKER_02: Get what?
• 9:23
  SPEAKER_02: Just what that whatever that is.
• 9:29
  SPEAKER_02: Just get more.
• 9:30
  SPEAKER_02: Grab more.
• 9:32
  SPEAKER_02: Put it in the purse.
• 9:34
  SPEAKER_02: Put it in the purse.
• 9:35
  SPEAKER_02: Go.
• 9:37
  SPEAKER_02: Get it, get extra.
• 9:39
  SPEAKER_02: She always said that.
• 9:40
  SPEAKER_02: Get extra.
• 9:40
  SPEAKER_02: Joseph, go back in there and get extra.
• 9:43
  SPEAKER_02: Get extra.
• 9:44
  SPEAKER_02: You know what get extra means?
• 9:46
  SPEAKER_02: Steal.
• 9:48
  SPEAKER_02: Steal.
• 9:48
  SPEAKER_02: She wants her kid to fucking steal.
• 9:52
  SPEAKER_02: Get extra.
• 9:54
  SPEAKER_02: I used to hate going to McDonald's.
• 9:56
  SPEAKER_02: Because she'd always make me go back in.
• 9:58
  SPEAKER_02: Go back in there and get extra napkins.
• 10:07
  SPEAKER_02: Why?
• 10:09
  SPEAKER_02: Because we need extra for the house.
• 10:14
  SPEAKER_02: Get extra job.
• 10:15
  SPEAKER_02: Go, go back in there.
• 10:16
  SPEAKER_02: God, how many do you need?
• 10:19
  SPEAKER_02: Well, your birthday is coming up.
• 10:21
  SPEAKER_02: Go back in there.
• 10:30
  SPEAKER_02: Stuff in my pocket with napkins.
• 10:33
  SPEAKER_02: I'm so mad.
• 10:34
  SPEAKER_02: I'm looking at my mom.
• 10:35
  SPEAKER_02: She's out in the parking lot.
• 10:38
  SPEAKER_02: I'm crying.
• 10:41
  SPEAKER_02: She doesn't care.
• 10:42
  SPEAKER_00: The other pocket!
• 10:51
  SPEAKER_02: My son has no idea how that feels.
• 10:54
  SPEAKER_02: He doesn't know.
• 10:55
  SPEAKER_02: I buy napkins.
• 10:57
  SPEAKER_02: I buy expensive napkins because I'm traumatized.
• 11:01
  SPEAKER_02: Stealing napkins my whole life.
• 11:03
  SPEAKER_02: I don't want my son to go through that shit.
• 11:05
  SPEAKER_02: My son doesn't know how embarrassing birthdays are.
• 11:08
  SPEAKER_02: My birthday sucked.
• 11:10
  SPEAKER_02: My mom's handing out slices of cake to all the kids.
• 11:12
  SPEAKER_02: Then she hands out napkins.
• 11:14
  SPEAKER_02: None of them match.
• 11:15
  SPEAKER_02: KFC, McDonald's, Taco Dell, Burger Cake, KFC, Cheesecake Factory.
• 11:20
  SPEAKER_02: Ooh, that's a good one.
• 11:22
  SPEAKER_02: That's a lot different than the other.
• 11:26
  SPEAKER_02: You know what you look like, Dylan, when you sleep?
• 11:28
  SPEAKER_02: I swear to God, this is what you look like.
• 11:30
  SPEAKER_02: You look like a ghost.
• 11:33
  SPEAKER_02: It's clamming his dick in your mouth.
• 11:36
  SPEAKER_01: And you just fucking ghost it.
• 11:38
  SPEAKER_03: All my things, stop ducking that got it!
• 11:50
  SPEAKER_01: Stop talking, got the line, come up at the footy of the man.
• 12:03
  SPEAKER_01: And I'm like, yo, he thinks he's doing it.
• 12:05
  SPEAKER_01: Come on, two minutes.
• 12:06
  SPEAKER_01: He's like, what the fuck?
• 12:07
  SPEAKER_01: Yo, dude, the crazy motherfucker.
• 12:17
  SPEAKER_01: Three, three, three.
• 12:18
  SPEAKER_01: God damn.
• 12:20
  SPEAKER_03: Shit! Three days, tell it! Stop! Stop! Stop it, God!
• 12:33
  SPEAKER_02: You ever notice Tilly when you wake up in the middle of the night?
• 12:37
  SPEAKER_02: You wake up like this.
• 12:38
  SPEAKER_02: Goof! Go fukake.
• 12:47
  SPEAKER_02: Entertainment is in our blood.
• 12:49
  SPEAKER_02: My sister sang and I danced.
• 12:51
  SPEAKER_02: And I know what you guys are thinking.
• 12:52
  SPEAKER_02: You dance, yes.
• 12:53
  SPEAKER_02: I used to dance.
• 12:54
  SPEAKER_02: I'm an OGB boy from the 80s, man.
• 12:58
  SPEAKER_02: I still remember back in the day when I used to do the moonwalk and talent shows.
• 13:03
  SPEAKER_02: And when my mom found out I could impersonate Michael Jackson, it was the best day and the worst day of my life.
• 13:10
  SPEAKER_02: Best day because my mom was like, oh, you have a dialand.
• 13:13
  SPEAKER_02: It was the worst day because my mom was like, oh, you have a dialand.
• 13:20
  SPEAKER_02: And when she found out I could dance like Michael Jackson, she made me do it every time someone came to the house.
• 13:27
  SPEAKER_02: Every time.
• 13:28
  SPEAKER_02: It didn't matter who was at the house.
• 13:29
  SPEAKER_02: Your auntie is here.
• 13:30
  SPEAKER_02: Just do the Michael Jackson.
• 13:35
  SPEAKER_02: Joseph, your uncle is here.
• 13:37
  SPEAKER_02: Do the Michael Jackson.
• 13:38
  SPEAKER_02: I'm not just one thing like that, huh?
• 13:42
  SPEAKER_02: Joseph, my friends from work are here.
• 13:45
  SPEAKER_02: Do the Michael Jackson, Joseph.
• 13:48
  SPEAKER_02: You made me do Michael Jackson my whole life.
• 13:51
  SPEAKER_02: And then I just got to the point where I was like, I was done.
• 13:54
  SPEAKER_02: I'm not gonna do the Michael Jackson anymore.
• 13:56
  SPEAKER_02: I remember that again.
• 13:58
  SPEAKER_02: Joseph, Michael Workers are here.
• 14:00
  SPEAKER_02: Do the Michael Jackson for me, Joseph.
• 14:02
  SPEAKER_02: And I was like, no, I'm not doing it.
• 14:04
  SPEAKER_02: I'm done.
• 14:05
  SPEAKER_02: No more.
• 14:06
  SPEAKER_02: I tell them people I can do that.
• 14:08
  SPEAKER_02: Oh my god.
• 14:22
  SPEAKER_02: No, mom.
• 14:26
  SPEAKER_02: I'm not gonna do it.
• 14:27
  SPEAKER_02: Oh my god, John said, I can do Michael Worker.
• 14:30
  SPEAKER_02: That's why you're here.
• 14:30
  SPEAKER_02: They want you to do the Michael Jackson, and you're not going to do it.
• 14:33
  SPEAKER_02: That's it, me, huh?
• 14:35
  SPEAKER_02: Why don't you want to do the Michael Jackson, Johnson?
• 14:39
  SPEAKER_02: Why?
• 14:40
  SPEAKER_02: Why don't you want to do it, Michael Jackson, Johnson?
• 14:43
  SPEAKER_02: Why?
• 14:46
  SPEAKER_02: And I was like, because I'm 33.
• 14:52
  SPEAKER_02: My mom would go to the bathroom and forget to fill her topic.
• 15:01
  SPEAKER_02: And of course, the youngest would have to fill it.
• 15:05
  SPEAKER_02: It always, it always happened when there were friends at the house.
• 15:10
  SPEAKER_02: Just playing with my friends in the living room, and then all of a sudden I hear, Jose.
• 15:20
  SPEAKER_02: And I could tell by the acoustics that my mom forgot to fill her double.
• 15:31
  SPEAKER_02: My friend would walk up to me and why are you ignoring your mom?
• 15:35
  SPEAKER_02: And I'd be like, you don't want to know what the fuck she wants.
• 15:39
  SPEAKER_02: I'd just shut up.
• 15:41
  SPEAKER_03: Joseph, I hear you.
• 15:47
  SPEAKER_02: I'd walk so slow down that hallway.
• 15:52
  SPEAKER_02: Open up that bathroom door, and there she is.
• 15:55
  SPEAKER_02: Sitting there with her gobble.
• 15:59
  SPEAKER_02: What took you so long?
• 16:04
  SPEAKER_02: It's all dried up already.
• 16:12
  SPEAKER_02: Build that up for me.
• 16:14
  SPEAKER_02: God.
• 16:15
  SPEAKER_02: I get so mad.
• 16:17
  SPEAKER_02: God! I'm too old for this, mom.
• 16:19
  SPEAKER_02: I shouldn't be seeing this.
• 16:21
  SPEAKER_02: Too old, mom.
• 16:24
  SPEAKER_02: My mom would be like, see what?
• 16:28
  SPEAKER_02: Joseph.
• 16:30
  SPEAKER_02: Joseph.
• 16:34
  SPEAKER_02: Turn around.
• 16:36
  SPEAKER_02: Turn around.
• 16:38
  SPEAKER_02: See what?
• 16:41
  SPEAKER_02: This?
• 16:44
  SPEAKER_02: You used to live here?
• 16:49
  SPEAKER_02: This was your old house before we move into this house.
• 16:53
  SPEAKER_01: Now help me clean your old house.
• 17:04
  SPEAKER_02: Run down the hallway, my mom screamed.
• 17:06
  SPEAKER_02: Boom, talking about Josh!
• 17:08
  SPEAKER_01: It's free and dumb! You're going to give my pussy pneumonia.
• 17:18
  SPEAKER_02: My friend's like, you gave your mom's pussy pneumonia.
• 17:23
  SPEAKER_02: You know what's crazy?
• 17:26
  SPEAKER_02: Now I fall under the category of Zaddy.
• 17:29
  SPEAKER_02: I'm a fucking Zaddy.
• 17:30
  SPEAKER_02: Look, look, look, look at it.
• 17:33
  SPEAKER_02: We're all cheering.
• 17:34
  SPEAKER_02: Stop it.
• 17:35
  SPEAKER_02: Stop not falling for it.
• 17:37
  SPEAKER_02: There's guys that fall for that shit.
• 17:39
  SPEAKER_02: Go to Instagram.
• 17:40
  SPEAKER_02: Go go on go online.
• 17:41
  SPEAKER_02: You'll see it.
• 17:42
  SPEAKER_02: You'll see a hashtag Zaddy.
• 17:44
  SPEAKER_02: Click that hashtag.
• 17:45
  SPEAKER_02: You'll see a bunch of guys that look like me just fucking stupid poses.
• 17:52
  SPEAKER_02: And then in the comment section, you'll see, ooh, Zaddy.
• 17:55
  SPEAKER_02: Okay, Zaddy.
• 17:56
  SPEAKER_02: Where are you, Zaddy?
• 17:59
  SPEAKER_02: I ain't falling for that shit.
• 18:01
  SPEAKER_02: I ain't falling for it.
• 18:02
  SPEAKER_02: You're not ready for Zaddy.
• 18:03
  SPEAKER_02: If you're in your 20s, stay in your fucking 20s.
• 18:06
  SPEAKER_02: If you're in your 30s, stay in your 30s.
• 18:08
  SPEAKER_02: You're not ready for Zaddy.
• 18:10
  SPEAKER_02: Zaddy's a special kind of fucking dude.
• 18:12
  SPEAKER_02: Oh, but I want to be with Zaddy because he'll take care of me.
• 18:15
  SPEAKER_02: You need to take care of fucking Zaddy, too.
• 18:18
  SPEAKER_02: Zaddy got sciatica.
• 18:20
  SPEAKER_02: What the fuck are you talking about?
• 18:22
  SPEAKER_02: You're not ready for Zaddy.
• 18:24
  SPEAKER_02: What happens if we hook up and I forget my CPAP machine?
• 18:28
  SPEAKER_02: What the fuck are you gonna do?
• 18:30
  SPEAKER_02: We hook up and I don't have my CPAP machine.
• 18:32
  SPEAKER_02: I'm laying next to you, just ca.
• 18:38
  SPEAKER_01: You're like, Zaddy! What's wrong with Daddy?