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Why Narcissists ALWAYS Want MORE from You! · The Mental Healness Podcast

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  What is going on, beautiful people.
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  Today we're going to be talking about why narcissists are always
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  wanting more from you. More, more, more.
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  If you're new here, my name is Lee Hammock.
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  I'm a self aware narcissist and welcome to another episode of
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  the Narcissist Code. So boom, welcome back folks,
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  welcome back, welcome back. Yes, yes, yes, more, more, more.
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  Give me more, more, more narcissistic people.
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  Toxic people are always wanting more, just like I want more
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  people to check out joining my support group called the Mental
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  healers. You know you can find a link and
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  everything for me, my one on ones everything coaching
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  everything at mentalillness.net. Check it out.
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  But yes, more more more as though it's funny.
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  This is how the mind of a lot of narcissistic toxic people work
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  out. They are always, they will never
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  ever be fully satisfied with what is going on.
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  They will never ever be fully satisfied with what is happening
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  in their lives. This is just almost damn near a
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  statement of fact for most narcissists, right?
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  Diagnosed or not, most narcissists for me, just my
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  opinion, won't be fully happy. So This is why this is what
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  happens to so many people. Like you get so confused.
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  You get so lost in the sauce of dealing with toxic narcissistic
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  people that you understand. You saw this sound to see and
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  understand. They're like narcissistic
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  people. Nothing you do for them will
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  ever be enough for them. Like you would do something.
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  You've been over backwards. You've been over forwards.
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  You do everything that they require of you or even more.
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  You go. Like you will go above and
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  beyond the Call of Duty for a narcissist, right?
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  And they it still won't be enough for them.
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  Like you literally absolutely will be, can be going over it
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  like literally above and beyond the Call of Duty.
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  Like losing it, like losing your mind, sacrificing your time,
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  effort, energy, giving up your family, friends, every single
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  thing you can imagine to make this person happy.
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  And they still will have their hand out, asking you for more.
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  Have their hand out, have their hands open, always asking you to
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  give them more. Because what you're giving to
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  them right now, they don't feel. They don't feel like it's
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  enough. Because nothing can make
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  narcissists fully happy. I know y'all hear me give this
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  analogy before and I don't even know where it's at anymore, my
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  little cup. But trying to make a narcissist
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  happy y'all is trying to is literally trying to like feel.
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  Imagine trying to fill this up with water.
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  Y'all see the the holes in this Imagine trying to fill this
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  little pencil cup, this pencil holder with water.
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  Imagine the difficulty, the difficulty that that would be
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  the the level of difficulty that would be.
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  It's impossible. You cannot do it.
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  So imagine pouring. You keep pouring like you get
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  you don't try anyway because you love it.
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  You love that pencil holder. You love that pencil cup, right?
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  You love it. You want more of it, you need
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  it. So you're doing so much forward,
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  right? You go above and beyond the Call
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  of Duty to try to make that person.
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  They try to make this person happy and it doesn't work.
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  They might be happy in the moment.
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  They might seem satisfied at the moment, or sometimes they might
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  not even seem satisfied or happy in the moment.
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  Their face won't change. They won't be a pretty, they
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  won't show appreciation because they a lot of times when you
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  going above and beyond for narcissists, they feel entitled
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  to it. They feel entitled to your time,
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  effort and energy. They feel extremely entitled to
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  it. I promise you they do.
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  This is what happens when you're dealing with an abusive person,
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  like a president, abusive person.
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  They had, they come from a debt that has a, that has a lack of
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  empathy, a lack of compassion, a lack they you, you dealing with
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  an abusive person. They come from a lack.
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  So once they lack, right when they when they come in from the
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  lack, once they start doing this type of stuff and saying this
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  type of stuff, you start to understand like, damn, this
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  ain't good. This ain't going to work out for
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  me. This isn't going to bode well
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  for me, right? So it messes with you, it making
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  mess you up. I can do a number on your mind.
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  You're trying to go above me out for this person.
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  You know, that's why they're saying like if you did on
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  somebody that's coming from a lack, you start to understand
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  quickly, like overtime or maybe overtime, they're trying to make
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  this person happy is a bait. You're going to waste a lot of
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  time, effort and energy. It's like, it's like, and it's
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  like a damn. Yeah, it's, it's, it's a
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  thankless job. It's like the jobs that go, the
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  jobs that people do behind the scenes, like cleaning the
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  sewers, fixing pipes, fixing burst pipes on the ground, you
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  know, fixing buildings, replacing the air conditioner.
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  It's a thankless job. Like you, just because we are
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  humans out here, we just expected to be done.
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  Narcissists feel like they're entitled to everything that you
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  do for them. So sometimes even if you go
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  above and beyond, they still might not show any type of
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  happiness. They still might not feign any
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  type of happiness towards you. They still might pretend like
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  they what you have done for them does not matter.
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  And I know I like say, imagine the frustration that you're
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  going to feel when it happens to you.
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  Imagine that because they're going to like I said, it's going
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  to happen. You're going to be like, you can
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  go above and beyond And when they're not happy when I said
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  when you go above and beyond and they're still not happy or
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  satisfied with what what you're doing for them, you're going to
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  be you'll be mad as hell. You'll be mad at yourself.
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  You'll be mad at them for being ungrateful, but you're also
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  going to be mad at yourself because.
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  This is going to be part of the journey.
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  This is going to be part of the journey, part of the.
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  Dynamic that you're going to be experiencing and I know I told
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  you it's going to be so extremely frustrating for you to
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  keep pouring because this is what happens sometimes they make
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  you feel like you did a good job but you couldn't get better.
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  You can cook their favorite meal, right?
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  You can cook a narcissist's favorite meal, but you didn't
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  put enough salt on it. You can buy them their favorite
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  video game, but it's, you know, they you buy you buy for PS4
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  instead of PS5. You buy for Xbox instead of you
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  buy for the Xbox instead of PlayStation.
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  You made a little mistake. They don't care.
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  You see what I'm saying? Like you going to give a lot of
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  this is what this is what I see happen to so many people right
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  here out that you sacrifice for people that are not willing to
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  sacrifice for you. Like the reciprocation for these
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  relationships just is not there. Like you won't get out of it
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  what you put in. I said I'm going to start saying
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  this in a lot of these videos because you will not get out of
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  this what you put in. Like as a narcissist myself, as
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  a diagnosed narcissist, me being happy is a fleeting thing.
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  I'm trying for like because I've been in therapy so long, I've
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  been working on myself so long. I'm I'm more in tune with my
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  emotional state that I feel better now right than what I
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  used to feel. I feel a lot better now than
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  what I used to feel and that allows me the different a space
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  to kind of grow in a space to kind of feel and whatnot.
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  So I feel a lot better right now than what I used to feel.
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  But it's still, you know, it's still happiness comes and goes.
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  It's very, it comes and goes very fast.
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  So I'm always trying to find something else to make me happy.
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  I'm always trying to find something else to fulfill this
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  need or to fill this gap or whatever it is in my life.
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  I'm always trying to find a way to do more for myself.
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  I'm probably trying to find a way to get more out of myself.
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  But most narcissists are not where I'm at right now, y'all?
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  Instead of trying to find some of like a way to get something
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  out more out of themselves, they try to find a way to get more
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  out of you. And then if you're not giving
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  them enough, they try to stoke the fear in you that they're
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  going to go get it, give it to somebody else.
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  They're going to go cheat on you because you didn't give them
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  what they wanted. They're going to go leave this
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  relationship and do something else with somebody else.
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  Like they're going to stoke the fear within you to mess with
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  your mind. They just absolutely are.
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  This is the mindset. This is the ever changing
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  dynamic of an abusive person. This is where it goes.
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  So when you're dealing with a toxic narcissistic person, just
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  understand that nothing I need this and they got to hear this.
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  Nothing that you ever do for this person will be enough for
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  them. You know, and I thought you said
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  I'm not telling you like say I'm not telling you to leave your
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  relationship, y'all. That's a choice that you have to
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  make, right? I'm telling you to understand
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  that what you like, like it's kind of like radical acceptance
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  without the ramen said in her book.
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  You have to accept the fact that if you're going to stay in here
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  in this relationship, that everything that you do will
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  never measure up to how you think you should.
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  Like everything that you do for this person is going to be kind
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  of graded on a curve and the curve is going down and not up.
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  You see what I'm saying? They're graded.
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  They're they're graded on the reverse curve.
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  They're graded. The curve is going down, not up.
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  You know, people graded on the curve, you get a 65, you
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  actually get a 65, but they grade on the curve, you got an
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  80. This is the exact opposite.
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  You played a 95%, you get a 65, you get A50.
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  If you're OK with that, Do you see what I'm saying?
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  It's just like a lot of times you have to learn how to give
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  more to yourself in this relationship than what you're
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  giving to this other person. And I know that's hard and it's
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  difficult for so many people who've been, you know who, who
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  might have been, right? Like this might be against your
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  religious belief. This might be against your
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  religious belief. This might be against how you
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  feel, how you were raised and whatnot.
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  This might be against going against so much of what you feel
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  internally that is just different, like you don't feel
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  comfortable doing this. And that's understandable coming
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  from in my mind, right? I get that.
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  I understand that there's not that might not be comfortable
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  for you in this space to be dealing with, to try to
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  understand and to try to try to grasp.
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  I get that. But most narcissists are not
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  going to get that. They're going to be there just
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  like, hey, I need this from you. Give me more or I'm going to
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  leave you. Give me more or I'm going to
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  cheat on you. Give me more or I'm going to do
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  this and I'm going to do that. Give me more, more, more.
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  And about to sing. It sound like about to sing a
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  song. Don't give me more, more, more.
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  I'm gonna leave your ass. That's the mentality of
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  narcissistic people. That's the dynamic that you
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  might face dealing with an abusive person.
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  So this is something you have to consider moving forward, Y'all?
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  It really, really is. Just understand that no matter
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  how much you pour in today, in today, in today, cut with holes
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  in it. It's going to empty out sooner
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  or later. The more you pour, the more it's
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  going to run out fast. It's going to run out faster.
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  The more you fill it up, the faster it runs out.
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  Sometimes you pour so much into it, you never know.
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  You, you pour so much into it, it makes the hole bigger, so
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  it's all coming out faster. You pour, so you pour so much
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  into the cup so fast. Sometimes it makes the hole
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  bigger. And if you're it, it, it
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  depletes faster. Now I just need y'all to know
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  that it's not your fault that the cup is being depleted
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  faster. That's not on you.
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  Don't take accountability. Don't take blame for somebody
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  else not being happy with the stuff that you're doing because
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  they can't be fulfilled, they can't be fully fulfilled and
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  whatnot. Y'all, that's not on you, that's
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  on them. Been with y'all.
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  I hope y'all heal. Happy healing and whatnot.
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  Make sure y'all subscribe to the channel if you haven't already
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  because I appreciate y'all. We need y'all here.
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  The more people that subscribe, the more people that help this.
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  This helps reach and whatnot. Stay tuned for more.
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  Anything you need from me, you can find it at
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  mentalillness.net. Scroll across the bottom of the
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  screen. Thank you so much.
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  As always, mental illness is out.
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  Peace, Thank you so much for making it to the end of my
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  video. I am extremely grateful for you
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  have no idea. If you haven't already, make
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  sure you go ahead and subscribe to the channel helps reach more
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  people and click on the screen to watch another video or to
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  browse to another playlist. There's also a link on the
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  screen to check out my courses and my support groups to help
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  you heal and understand what you've been through.
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  Thank you so much again. I will see you in the next
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  video. Peace.