Latest / Johnjay & Rich On Demand / What type of FRIEND are you??

Transcript

What type of FRIEND are you?? · Johnjay & Rich On Demand

• 0:00
  Speaker 1: Good morning, Caroline. What's going on? You're on the air.
• 0:03
  Speaker 2: Hey, so this girl I work with put me on
• 0:06
  Speaker 2: a game yesterday because she was like, wait, you don't
• 0:09
  Speaker 2: know what kind of friend you are?
• 0:10
  Speaker 3: And I'm like.
• 0:10
  Speaker 1: Hold on, hey, hold on. I think you cut out
• 0:12
  Speaker 1: for me. You said this girl put you on a
• 0:13
  Speaker 1: what yesterday?
• 0:14
  Speaker 3: Oh, sorry, sorry.
• 0:15
  Speaker 2: She put me on a game yesterday because she was like, wait,
• 0:19
  Speaker 2: you don't know what kind of friend you are? Like,
• 0:22
  Speaker 2: she kind of put me on this.
• 0:26
  Speaker 1: It's like.
• 0:28
  Speaker 2: Something you can take to figure out what kind of
• 0:30
  Speaker 2: friend you are.
• 0:30
  Speaker 4: What do you mean?
• 0:31
  Speaker 2: And I didn't know what she was talking about. Because, like, there's, like,
• 0:35
  Speaker 2: four friendship styles, and I had no idea. So she
• 0:38
  Speaker 2: had me take this test to figure out which friendship
• 0:40
  Speaker 2: style I was.
• 0:42
  Speaker 1: What are the four friendship styles?
• 0:44
  Speaker 2: So apparently there's Butterfly, Wallflower, Firefly, and Evergreen.
• 0:49
  Speaker 5: Oh.
• 0:50
  Speaker 2: And, yeah, actually super cute names, too.
• 0:53
  Speaker 1: Heck, okay.
• 0:55
  Speaker 6: What's the one like a John Jay is where it's
• 0:57
  Speaker 6: like you make plans and he hopes that you cancel.
• 1:00
  Speaker 7: I would think wallflower maybe.
• 1:02
  Speaker 1: But go on, go on.
• 1:03
  Speaker 4: So she put you on this. We were definitely going
• 1:05
  Speaker 4: to have to research this and find the four friendship styles,
• 1:07
  Speaker 4: but go on.
• 1:08
  Speaker 8: Yeah.
• 1:09
  Speaker 2: So she said that like the butterfly, it will like,
• 1:14
  Speaker 2: it's friends with everyone. Very social, always in the group,
• 1:16
  Speaker 2: always down to go out. And then like a wallflower
• 1:19
  Speaker 2: is more selective, takes a minute to warm up. And
• 1:22
  Speaker 2: then like a firefly, they just disappear for like three weeks.
• 1:25
  Speaker 2: But like then you hang out again and it's just
• 1:28
  Speaker 2: like you're immediately talking about like what you talked about
• 1:30
  Speaker 2: last time in your childhood. And then the evergreen needs
• 1:34
  Speaker 2: like constant connection, like texting every day, know everything about
• 1:38
  Speaker 2: each other. We have each other's location, yada, yada. and
• 1:43
  Speaker 2: like I'm completely freaking out because I realized that like
• 1:46
  Speaker 2: I'm definitely an evergreen and I think all my friends
• 1:49
  Speaker 2: are fireflies and like this whole time I just thought
• 1:52
  Speaker 2: they hated me and apparently they just have a different friendship.
• 1:55
  Speaker 1: Style Oh, here it is. Thank you, Mel Robbins podcast.
• 1:59
  Speaker 6: Oh, okay.
• 2:00
  Speaker 1: Yeah.
• 2:01
  Speaker 4: A Harvard-trained friendship expert, researcher, and social connection shares on
• 2:05
  Speaker 4: the Mel Robbins podcast that four friendship styles exist.
• 2:08
  Speaker 1: The butterfly, the wildflower, the firefly, and every other. I
• 2:11
  Speaker 1: already know there's more than four because I'm not one
• 2:12
  Speaker 1: of those.
• 2:14
  Speaker 7: What would you add, John Jay?
• 2:15
  Speaker 1: You would be the what? I would be the stink bug.
• 2:17
  Speaker 5: Yeah.
• 2:20
  Speaker 1: You know what? I actually heard part of that podcast.
• 2:23
  Speaker 6: And you know what they say? The number one thing
• 2:25
  Speaker 6: that makes you good friends with somebody is proximity, just
• 2:29
  Speaker 6: that they're close enough to you. They're geographically desirable. So
• 2:32
  Speaker 6: they're saying like, let's say you're in college. that you're 90%
• 2:35
  Speaker 6: more likely to be friends with somebody that lives across
• 2:37
  Speaker 6: the hall than down the hall.
• 2:39
  Speaker 1: Because down the hall is too far.
• 2:40
  Speaker 5: Yeah, like familiar faces. But I do find that interesting
• 2:43
  Speaker 5: because it kind of reminds me of like love languages, right?
• 2:45
  Speaker 5: Like everyone has their own way of doing things. And
• 2:48
  Speaker 5: so everyone has their own styles of friendships. And if
• 2:51
  Speaker 5: you know what kind of friend your friend is and
• 2:53
  Speaker 5: they need a little bit of that constant validation, you
• 2:56
  Speaker 5: can fill that need for them if you haven't been
• 2:58
  Speaker 5: doing that before.
• 2:59
  Speaker 1: Look, I found the article and there's a TikTok that
• 3:01
  Speaker 1: goes to it. So let's see. Let's listen to it.
• 3:03
  Speaker 1: Let's see if it explains.
• 3:05
  Speaker 8: Have you ever had a friend that you really like,
• 3:07
  Speaker 8: but you feel like it's hard to be friends with
• 3:09
  Speaker 8: them or you just feel like they really drain your energy?
• 3:12
  Speaker 8: Because apparently I just found out there's four different types
• 3:14
  Speaker 8: of friendship style. The four different styles are broken down
• 3:17
  Speaker 8: by one, how frequently you like to interact with your
• 3:19
  Speaker 8: friends and two, how deep you want those interactions to be.
• 3:23
  Speaker 8: The first type is the butterfly speaks for itself. Social
• 3:26
  Speaker 8: butterfly who can talk to anyone about anything. They like
• 3:29
  Speaker 8: frequent casual interactions. The other side of it is something
• 3:32
  Speaker 8: called an evergreen, which is someone who likes a lot
• 3:35
  Speaker 8: of frequent interactions, but they want it to be with
• 3:38
  Speaker 8: their close friends. They want it to be those deep,
• 3:41
  Speaker 8: meaningful interactions. They're not gonna just talk to anybody at
• 3:43
  Speaker 8: a bar. Next type is someone called a firefly. They're
• 3:46
  Speaker 8: someone who does prefer less frequent interactions, you can say,
• 3:49
  Speaker 8: but when they do interact with your friends, They have
• 3:51
  Speaker 8: a really deep, meaningful interaction. This is honestly someone like me.
• 3:55
  Speaker 8: I'm kind of hard to get out of the house sometimes.
• 3:57
  Speaker 8: I'm sorry to my friends. But once you get me
• 3:59
  Speaker 8: out of the house, I swear I'm there with you.
• 4:01
  Speaker 8: I'm having fun. I'm very present. The last one is
• 4:04
  Speaker 8: called the wallflower. Everyone kind of knows. There's someone who
• 4:06
  Speaker 8: prefers less frequent interactions that are also more casual.
• 4:10
  Speaker 5: They're more reserved.
• 4:11
  Speaker 8: Anyways, comment down below.
• 4:12
  Speaker 4: What you think.
• 4:13
  Speaker 1: Wallflower, John Jay.
• 4:14
  Speaker 5: Yeah, definitely a wallflower.
• 4:15
  Speaker 1: I would apply to you. I'm a wallflower? Yeah.
• 4:16
  Speaker 7: You don't want any frequent.
• 4:18
  Speaker 1: I don't. You're a butterfly.
• 4:23
  Speaker 7: No, I don't need constant attention from my friends.
• 4:25
  Speaker 3: Is that evergreen?
• 4:26
  Speaker 1: No, evergreen is the one.
• 4:28
  Speaker 7: I thought that was the unique super frequent.
• 4:30
  Speaker 1: It's funny.
• 4:31
  Speaker 4: Caroline has told us what they are. we've read the article,
• 4:35
  Speaker 4: we've played the audio, and we still don't know.
• 4:37
  Speaker 7: I just didn't think I instantly thought, oh, that's definitely me,
• 4:40
  Speaker 7: because I think I'm like a mixture of some of them.
• 4:42
  Speaker 1: Yeah, okay, I'll take that.
• 4:43
  Speaker 7: Depending on like, I think what mood I'm in, maybe.
• 4:45
  Speaker 5: Maybe like a wallflower for you then, Kyle.
• 4:47
  Speaker 6: What about you, Peyton?
• 4:47
  Speaker 1: What are you?
• 4:48
  Speaker 6: I think I'm.
• 4:48
  Speaker 5: Probably a social butterfly, but I don't need like constant
• 4:52
  Speaker 5: attention from my friends by any means, unless it's my birthday.
• 4:54
  Speaker 5: Then you better be there.
• 4:55
  Speaker 6: You better bring it.
• 4:56
  Speaker 1: Thanks for bringing it up, Caroline. Thanks for listening. Oh
• 4:59
  Speaker 1: my God. Hold on a second. Hold on, Caroline. Ava,
• 5:02
  Speaker 1: good morning.
• 5:03
  Speaker 3: Hi, I was just listening to you guys and I
• 5:06
  Speaker 3: heard that girl talking about friendship styles. And I am
• 5:10
  Speaker 3: like screaming because my best friend is 100% a firefly.
• 5:15
  Speaker 3: Like everything just makes so much sense now. This girl
• 5:18
  Speaker 3: will like not answer me for literally a month. Like,
• 5:21
  Speaker 3: I'll send her a TikTok, nothing. I'll ask if we
• 5:24
  Speaker 3: want to, you know, go out and get drinks, get
• 5:26
  Speaker 3: dinner or something, nothing. And then, like, randomly on a
• 5:30
  Speaker 3: Tuesday at, like, 10.46 p.m., she'll FaceTime me from, like,
• 5:34
  Speaker 3: her bathtub or something and just be like, okay, so
• 5:37
  Speaker 3: I think my parents getting divorced when I was little is, like,
• 5:40
  Speaker 3: why I keep dating men with ankle monitors. And then
• 5:43
  Speaker 3: just go off on this whole, like, tangent. And then
• 5:46
  Speaker 3: we talk for, like, three hours. Like, we didn't just go, like...
• 5:49
  Speaker 3: I don't know, 34 business days without speaking. And like,
• 5:53
  Speaker 3: I used to think that she was just like a
• 5:54
  Speaker 3: horrible friend, but now it's apparently she's just like a firefly.
• 5:57
  Speaker 1: Okay. Well, you backed up everything we just talked about.
• 6:01
  Speaker 1: That's cool. I had no idea. It all makes sense.
• 6:05
  Speaker 1: It's like we brought up the other day. We deep
• 6:07
  Speaker 1: dive too much into things that exist already. We're trying
• 6:10
  Speaker 1: to put labels on everything.
• 6:12
  Speaker 4: I can't imagine back when I was making friends that
• 6:14
  Speaker 4: I would be like, what kind of friend are you?
• 6:16
  Speaker 1: I do like this though.
• 6:19
  Speaker 7: Because it could give you a different, more deeper understanding
• 6:23
  Speaker 7: of who your friend is. And then maybe even reduce
• 6:25
  Speaker 7: some fights because you're one type and... And you want
• 6:28
  Speaker 7: all the attention, but your other friend is like the
• 6:30
  Speaker 7: exact opposite. It just gives you that. Cause I remember
• 6:33
  Speaker 7: I had a fight with one of our girlfriends and
• 6:34
  Speaker 7: she was like, you guys started checking in.
• 6:35
  Speaker 6: On me, blah, blah, blah.
• 6:36
  Speaker 1: And we're like, we feel like we were checking in
• 6:38
  Speaker 1: on you.
• 6:39
  Speaker 7: But in her perspective, she needed that super frequent all
• 6:42
  Speaker 7: the time, but we didn't.
• 6:45
  Speaker 8: And now we know.
• 6:46
  Speaker 1: Thanks Ava. Thanks Ava. Thanks for calling in.
• 6:49
  Speaker 6: Do you know what we need to do? We need
• 6:51
  Speaker 6: to do a podcast on how everybody needs to label everything.
• 6:53
  Speaker 6: We're going to have to, Come up with a name
• 6:55
  Speaker 6: for it. Let's call it fast labeling.
• 6:56
  Speaker 1: You're fast labeling.
• 6:58
  Speaker 5: I feel like we need like a new dictionary that
• 7:00
  Speaker 5: gives us like all of the new trendy definitions of
• 7:04
  Speaker 6: Things that we've already defined.