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Replay: Gestational diabetes, precipitous labor and the power of saying no · Arrivals: A Birth Story Podcast

• Merelise Wilson: Hello and welcome to the Arrivals podcast. I'm your host, Merelise Wilson And today I have Alexi Leal with me. Hello. Hi, I'm so excited you're here. I'm so excited to be here. You're one of my oldest friends from college. met, let's see, 2008. Oh my gosh. So how many years? 17. Is that right? Did I do that math right? Or half our life. Yes, that's right. It's crazy. did we know we'd have all these babies. I know. I know. We're going on. It'll be six next year between the two of us. Yes. ⁓ crazy. ⁓ ⁓ So you had your first before I had mine ⁓ and I leaned on you a lot. I think we like similar minds when it comes to birth ⁓ and... breastfeeding and a lot of things just kind of baby related. And so I feel like I leaned on you a lot throughout my pregnancies and postpartum and just asked for your advice. And you were always just so wonderful and helpful. And I'll never forget like everything you did for me with my first when he was born and just like, I think I texted you, I don't know, on average 15 times a day, those first like couple of weeks. I'll never forget when you came when you were pregnant and sat on my couch and you were asking me so many questions. And I'm like, I don't know that I can give you all this advice, but I'm going to try. And then you had your beautiful birth experience after that. Yes. But I'm excited to talk about your birth experiences today. Yes. So where do you want to start? I'll start with Emma Grace. Okay. So I have three kids and Emma Grace is my oldest. She literally just turned seven. Happy birthday, sweet girl. I know. I can't believe she's seven. So she was my Chicago baby and so we were living in Chicago when I was pregnant with her my only Chicago baby and We had an interesting birth experience or entire Pregnancy because I had gestational diabetes with her ⁓ and That was a whole new for us. I didn't know anybody who gestational diabetes in our generation And so that changed a lot of the things that I wanted out of birth because there's a lot of stipulations that they put on a gestational diabetic baby. ⁓ some of those stipulations? So ⁓ you have a baby who has gestational diabetes, they require a growth ultrasound at 36 weeks. And if the baby is measuring too large, they require a C-section. ⁓ that was like brought on a lot of nerves for me. ⁓ before long before we were going to deliver because I always wanted the most natural experience possible, least amount of drugs possible. I've always been open to an epidural, but I did wanted to avoid a C-section if at all possible. And like some backstory, my mom has three kids and she had a C-section with her first and then two VBACs, ⁓ completely ⁓ I just like- ⁓ Yeah, just being her daughter and knowing that she did that, it's so empowering to want to live on that legacy and show her that I can do it too. You guys are very close. We are very close. And she always ⁓ me pointers on how hard C-section recovery is and how it's so much better for your body if you can ⁓ have to have a C-section. that was one thing going into that growth ultrasound at 36 weeks. I was just. praying that she was not too large. they actually measured her at 88th percentile. if she was 90th, they were going to require a C-section. The other thing is that they do not let you go past 41 weeks. Right. So my sister delivered at weeks, five days. So that was not the cards for me ⁓ And I wanted I feel like the best way to not have a C-section is to not be induced and to go into labor naturally. And so I got lucky that she was not too big. ⁓ we got to finish out the pregnancy. We got to 40 weeks ⁓ ⁓ got to my due date, ⁓ that due date, of course, ⁓ there was no baby. And I went in that day and I remember I was my favorite midwife that I had, Meredith. ⁓ was okay. We can strip your membranes today, which is a great way to naturally start labor. I'm a huge advocate for it now. Everyone I talk to, I'm like, you don't want to be induced, strip your membranes and then strip them again. ⁓ I got my membrane stripped that day and it was the most painful. Then it was the most painful experience of my life. Little did you know what was to come. Yes, little did I know. That was a Wednesday. I'll never forget. ⁓ was hoping. ⁓ baby will be here in the next couple days. was still working, but I was working from home. ⁓ mom had arrived. My dad was coming out that weekend. So Wednesday, then Thursday, then Friday. ⁓ Saturday, remember we went on like a long walk. I was doing like the curb, sidewalks and everything. Still nothing. ⁓ I also had a doula with my first. It was the only one I had a doula with and ⁓ she was amazing. ⁓ She gave me so many great pointers in the beginning of just like knowing the signs of labor and I was able to text her. And she told me, she's like, because they strip your membranes, this baby is gonna come within the next week. Like don't worry about the 41 week rule. So Saturday she told me do lots and lots of walking, lots of curb walks, which we did and still nothing. And I remember we woke up Sunday morning And I had the bloody show. Yeah. I don't know if I can I say that? Yeah, of course. Okay. And so everything was in my panties and I sent the picture to the doula and she was like, okay, it's it's showtime. And she's like, it's gonna you know, we don't know how quickly it's gonna progress. So just go about your day. So in the terms of natural, like I'm like, I will call the doctor last. Because I'm like, I don't want to come in. And so that day we went to church, like I'd had the bloody shoe because I didn't have any contractions or anything. then after church we went on a walk and that was when the contractions started. think they started at like 1 PM. But they were ⁓ far We weren't timing them. And I thought that they were painful at the time and now I know that they were like nothing. so leading up to ⁓ that point time. What else had you done to prepare or plan to have a natural birth? You said you hired a doula. Yeah. did you decide to do that? What else did you do to prepare? I don't know how I made the decision to get a doula. think I read a lot online that a doula, especially with your husband is your biggest support system in labor, but he had never been through this just like me. I had no idea what I was going to be like. had no idea my pain tolerance. And so we wanted to kind of take some of that guesswork out and have somebody who has been through this and has helped people. And when we met with, her name was Leah, we met with her and she, we just clicked and she had been through like over a hundred births. It was insane. And she, and she had three kids of her own. So I think meeting her made us feel a lot better. I know it made my husband feel a lot better. And it wasn't actually that expensive. We thought it would be a lot more expensive. My mom was a big supporter of that. then I read Ina May's ⁓ to Childbirth. Midwifery. ⁓ the first half freaked me out a little bit because it's all birth stories and they're very natural ⁓ the olden days. I loved that part of Of course you did. ⁓ the second half, I felt like it ⁓ helped. It's very practical. Yes. And it made me think like, okay, I do want to try for this, but I've always been open to an epidural. Like with all three, was open to an epidural. So I was on that brink. Those were kind of the things I did. trying. I mean, we went to ⁓ classes as well. through the hospital? Through the hospital. Yes. I never did them again. I only did them with the first ⁓ breastfeeding classes. ⁓ than that, that was like, and I wrote up a birth plan with her, which my birth plan was not, it did not go. plan at all. I don't think they ever do. I like to call them birth preferences. That's a good way. I like that. So those were kind of the things that I did leading up. ⁓ So yeah, 1 p.m. ⁓ was at home from like 1 to ⁓ p.m. So seven hours at home felt very long. ⁓ you don't know how if you've progressed, you don't know how many centimeters you are because you're at home. And so ⁓ It got to a point where I couldn't talk through my contractions. They were pretty close together. I can't remember the timing. At your last appointment, were you dilated at all? ⁓ I was one centimeter. And she told me when she stripped my membranes, she got me to like three, but you don't know if that's I've never heard that that's They say they can like- Okay. I don't know. know, it's your first. ⁓ You had a- I love yours because it was so much faster. was fast for our first birth. For our first birth. Most first births are just really long and dragged out. So I was very much prepared to be that far along, which is why I stayed home as long as possible. But we had an hour drive because we were living in the suburbs of Chicago. So we had to get into the city, but it was Sunday, thank goodness. There was still tons of traffic. I was screaming at my husband in the car and my mom was in the front seat and I'm like, I need to get there right now. I thought I was in so much pain. Yeah. And how far apart were they at this point? Less than five minutes, I think, but they were only a minute long. Yeah. We get to triage and I was four centimeters. Okay. And your water has not broken? My water has not broken. And I'm like, okay, four. I think I was like, should be farther along. It's been seven hours. know. I know. Because you always ... But it's the way your body is. ⁓ Brutal was from then on. We checked in at like 8.30, I think, and I continued to labor until 2 a.m. and I only got to five. And it was just like, was so tired. The doula was there with, she meets you at the hospital. She was doing everything to take some of the pressure off. My back was killing me and I was just exhausted. I remember at one point, when I looked over, was 1 a.m. My dad is laying on the couch in the labor and delivery room, like trying to take a nap, and I was so mad. I would have murdered someone. And the doula was like, you get up and go get everybody coffee. Like she knew. Because I'm like, this is ridiculous that you get to sleep and I'm in the worst pain of my life. Yes. And so when they checked me and I was only five centimeters, like you're not even in active labor. No. Like you've just started. gone through transition. Yeah, ⁓ was done. I mean, it was a full 12 hours on my own. And so I said, the midwife who I loved, it was the same one who stripped my membranes. She was the on-call one that night. And I looked at her and I said, you're looking at everybody for the right answer. And I looked at my doula. My doula wouldn't make the decision. She wouldn't get, my mom wouldn't say anything. The midwife looked at me she was like, I think it's time to get the epidural. I think I needed somebody else to tell me that because it was so hard for me to truly be like, okay, I got to do it. you don't want to feel like you've given up, which you haven't. Yeah. ⁓ have all these things going through your mind. ⁓ ⁓ helpful. I think it's a fine line between someone giving you permission and someone telling you, know? Yeah. Yeah. it sounds like she did You trusted her. had a relationship with her. And so she did a good job. She definitely was not like... do it now. It was more like, I think you should consider this at this point. We still have a long journey ahead. Yeah, you have to think about having the energy to get the baby So I got the epidural at about 3 a.m. and then ⁓ that when I got to rest. Yeah. ⁓ my gosh, I had the worst shakes of my life. Really? I'll never forget those shakes. And I was freezing cold. I'm ⁓ napping, to nap, and I'm full on shaking. Aldo said it. It was so scary to see. I've heard about having shakes after kind of the epidural wears off, but I haven't heard about it. ⁓ it was full on in it. Yeah. Could you feel anything? What was epidural like It was more of like a walking epidural. Now, you can't walk. What they call a walking epidural, where you can kind of feel your legs. Yeah. What was funny about this, so I rested the rest of the night. It delays everything. ⁓ My doula was still amazing. Like she stays with you even after you get the epidural. And so she was like, we're going to get you into positions because this baby has to flip. Like the baby was head down, but you just don't know if the baby has flipped down yet. Engaged in the- Exactly. In the birth canal. So she would, she fully flipped me over. So I was on all fours and like, you know how you have that birth monitor thing on you? The birth monitor like slipped or whatever and all the nurses ran in because they're like, something's wrong with the baby. Nothing was wrong. I hate those things. In both of my labors, they would not stay on. It so annoying. Yeah. And then they are always coming in. Yeah. But they're like, what are you doing? And I'm like, it's fine. It's fine. And the doula knew what to say to the nurses So a lot of positions, but I still progressed really slowly. I think finally at I know I had her at three. So at like one o'clock, I started 24 hours at this point. Full 24 hours. I was like, feel, they were like, when you feel a lot of pressure, you're probably close to 10. And I felt like a lot of pressure because you know, I, my epidural worked. So like, I didn't feel a lot. they checked me and I was 10. And so that was like pushing time. ⁓ And it took a long time. ⁓ So I pushed from ⁓ one three. ⁓ And we ended up having to use a mirror, which I never thought I would do. I had a friend who had told me she had done it and actually helped a lot. And it really does because you just, when you have an epidural and you have a good one, you don't feel things. So like you can't feel the amount of pressure you need to be putting to get that baby down. And so when we brought out the mirror, I don't think we brought out the mirror until like 2.30. And that was when I actually started making progress. And was never, you know, I was starting to get concerned because like, I remember I didn't want to have a C-section and they don't let you push for I was going to ask that. Her heart rate was fine. Her heart rate was fine. Because I had gestational diabetes, they have to check my sugars. I forgot about this. They have to check your sugars every hour. And mine kept going like up and down because they were giving me like sugar water. Right. Because they won't let you eat. can't eat. And so my sugars would go down. They'd give me sugar water. My sugar would go up. So the one concern was my sugars. And they also immediately, when the baby comes out, they check the baby's sugars too. But they never, like I personally, I think inside my head was thinking, okay, if I'm pushing for too long, they're gonna suggest a C-section. So I need to get this baby out. But they never said anything, which was good. Was there ever talk about like laboring down once you were at 10 centimeters, like waiting a little bit to make sure I guess I think they just took a minute to like get everything set up. Yeah. Cause I wasn't in pain. So I feel like there was a time between reaching 10 and actually getting started. Yeah. Cause that can be helpful sometimes. Like I think in hindsight with my first birth, like I was at 10 centimeters, but like I wasn't necessarily ready to push. Like it does just because you've hit 10 centimeters doesn't necessarily mean the baby's head is like engaged at the right station. Yeah. I'm never even got to 10 with the other two. That's true. ⁓ my gosh. I was like, I'm done. Yeah, we'll get there. Yes. But I hear what you mean. Like it is different for every single one. So ⁓ she came out at 3.05. Two hours of pushing. Two hours of pushing. than 24 hours of labor. Yeah, that was the most exhausting labor of my life. I think that is the reason why after that I was like, want natural. But obviously she was She was big. She was eight pounds, but not too big for a gestational diabetic. Sugars were great. My sugars were great. Nobody has diabetes, so that's wonderful. Amazing. Did you have any tears or anything? I did have a second degree tear with her, so they did it, I feel anything for that. ⁓ And recovery was difficult. Yeah. Yeah. I do remember just the range of emotions going through. what my body had, I had like these huge blood clots. ⁓ wow. I remember with Emma Grace. After you came home or in the hospital? After I came home. I remember texting Cassidy. Yeah, I do remember having one of those too. Is this too big? And she was like, if you have another one of these, you need to go back. So I did lose a lot of blood with her. ⁓ And I just like, I... had more of the baby blues with Emma Grace. It's the first too you're so sleep deprived. You have no idea what you're doing. I was really big on nursing and she was a really big eater. She gained like a pound in a week. Wow. It was great. gosh. And I went to the lactation consultant like three times. She's like, why are you here? here? Go home, So yeah, that experience, it's your first. I knew after her, like I did want a different experience with my next And for those listeners who don't know, the reason that Lexi is kind of saying, and I agree too, a lot of times people say getting an epidural will slow down labor because your body kind of… you're not able to ⁓ use gravity aid you in labor. You're just laying there. You're no longer walking around. ⁓ Your body almost relax too much. Sometimes it can help. Sometimes your body needs to relax. ⁓ And I do feel like epidural with your first child is so different than getting an epidural with ⁓ a subsequent child because your body now knows what to do. And so I don't actually know what it's like, but I've heard stories of women who get the epidural and the baby's still out three hours later. Yeah, totally. you have this wonderful experience. It depends on, I think, where you are when you get the epidural, like at what point in labor, like how dilated you are. But I think mostly it's the gravity thing. then you're just sitting or laying once you've gotten the epidural. And that can kind of work against you in labor in terms of progressing and getting more dilated. Exactly. I 100 % agree. So that was Emma Grace. Yes. And she's perfect. She is. She's a little doll now. Yes, she is. Love her so much. OK. So Kennedy? Yeah. Let's talk about Kennedy. Kennedy's number two. And she was born. exactly two years later. I forgot that you had two before I had my first. Yes, because Kennedy was why you wanted to talk to me. That's right. Kennedy was natural. Yes. That's right. Oh my gosh. Also, Merelise got married before me. You do quick work. Bam, bam. Thank you, ma'am. You knew what she wanted. Yeah. So Kennedy was born September 23rd, 2020. So COVID baby. And was One year and 364 days after Emma ⁓ It was the only birthday. Who's counting. Yeah, exactly. I've missed. Kennedy, I had gestational diabetes with Kennedy as well, but it was, both had been diet controlled. I don't think I said that. And Kennedy's was never a confirmed gestational diabetic because I refused the three hour test. I was going to bring that up. ⁓ Just you know people, you can do that. You can decline. Now you decline and then you accept that you have gestational diabetes. send my sugars every single week. And as long as your sugars are within the range, they're not going to move you to a high risk doctor or- But you just did not want to put yourself through that long test again because it was miserable for It was miserable. And I saw my first number and I just knew that I had it. I also declined the growth ultrasound ⁓ ⁓ they had told me, I don't think I said this with Emma Grace, at 36 weeks, they had told me she weighed seven pounds, three ounces. ⁓ 36 weeks. was born at 40 weeks, five days, and she weighed eight pounds. There is no way my child only gained 13 ounces in the last four weeks where you gain all of your weight. So a firm believer that those growth ultrasounds are very wrong and they give unnecessary stress to the parent. ⁓ Also, had found a ⁓ potential defect in Emma Grace at that growth ultrasound, which ended up being completely nothing. ⁓ And I cannot even tell you the stress that that put on me. can't imagine. I was very much, I'm like very much against ultrasounds after 20 weeks. I mean, I've even had the ultrasound technician with both of my pregnancies was like, you know, these things are like 20 % off. Yeah. And that can be a lot, especially when you're determining a C-section or not. Or induction or not. Yes. Yes. Exactly. ⁓ I am for non-stress tests. I do, I do, and I had to do one with Kennedy. But so we knew it had to be 41 weeks. I was very much anticipating I was going to be late again, and I was. But I never get checked until my 40 week. I'm just nervous about infection and going up into the cervix. So I'm just like, let's just check at 40 weeks. And for me, mentally, I didn't want to start getting my hopes up. Yes. When they tell you you're 2 centimeters at 37 weeks and then you don't deliver the baby until 40 weeks, what does that do? Yes. Then you're just anxious for three weeks. 40 weeks hit the due date and I ... So with her, they stripped my membranes. I was 3 centimeters and I was 80 % effaced. Wow. Already. So your body is getting My body was ready. did a non-stress test. Everything was great. I went on a walk that afternoon and had the bloody show. It was the same day as the stripping. So I was like, okay, clearly second child. And my midwives, we're in Atlanta now, my midwives prepared me that your second child is much faster than the first. So I was prepared for that. And so that was the Monday. She didn't come Monday night. I had all day Tuesday. which was the 22nd and she didn't, that whole day nothing, even though I'd had the bloody show. 1.30 in the middle of the night, I had my first contraction. And this is COVID, so only Aldo can go to the hospital with me. My mom had been with us in the labor for Emma Grace So my parents were not even at my house. We had to call my nanny. No doula, no parents. No doula. We did meet with my previous doula because she was Chicago. Right. So we did meet with her and create a birth plan. And she gave me lot of pointers for like second child. And she really talked to Aldo a lot because we were now going to be… was going to be He was going to be the one, which, got to be honest, he doesn't end up… He's not like Chris. He does great. He's just… He is not made to be a doula. Chris is a natural born male doula. He is. Maybe Chris could come for my fourth Yeah. ⁓ start hiring him out. Make some extra cash. So we had met with her, but we weren't planning to have anybody with us because it was COVID, too. You couldn't have another person. ⁓ And my first contraction hit at 1.30, ⁓ I went and took a shower. And I had Aldo time them while I was in the shower. And they were... They started at five minutes apart, a minute long, and then, ⁓ it five, what is the five, five, one? Five, one, one, then what is the one? Five minutes apart, one minute minute long for one hour? ⁓ what it is? Yes, that's what it is. Okay. So that was, took a really, really long shower and by the end of the shower, they were three minutes apart. They were still a minute long. it had been over an hour. So we called my nanny. Which I do feel like usually if you are kind of trying to give birth naturally, 311 is like more so what they say. It's like wait to go to hospital until you're closer to that. Yes. With 511, you might really not be that far into labor. Yes, yes. I agree with you. But you also, it's a double-edged sword because when you're 311, you could be farther along than you think you are. And I remember I called my mom and my mom is She's so hardcore natural. She's like, I don't think… hardcore everything. She is. She said, I don't think you're far enough along. I think you should stay home for another hour. Thank God I did not listen to her. So… You would have had a home birth. Yes, or a car birth. So Marcella arrived at 315 and we loaded up the car and I could not… Like I remember I was trying to walk from one side of the house to the other side of the house and I had to stop. Yeah. And my contractions were horrible. Wow. And then the car, I don't know, there's something about our car. They just make them so much worse. Well, you can't get comfortable. Well, I'm in the back seat. I'm leaning over the back seat. And he has to stop and go. And it's just, it's so painful. Yeah. It is so painful. Luckily you guys are only what, 15 minutes from the hospital? only 15 minutes. Yeah. I remember we got in. at 340, so we, I don't know, we must've pulled up at like 340 or whatever. And Aldo, we're by ourselves. Like before we had my mom, so my mom would go park the car. Aldo had to park the car. And we, I'm like, okay, I'll wait for you in the lobby. And I remember I had a contraction in the lobby and there was a couple waiting for like an induction or something. And I think I scared the living shit out of them. Because I'm like, it's a full on scream And I should have known then that I was way farther along than I thought I was. Because when you are like in this like ⁓ phase, animalistic, ⁓ I never got to that with Emma Grace. Like there was never amount of pain ⁓ I should, and the way, my water still hasn't broken. And I'm like, this is the worst thing ever. That's I should have known I was in transition. ⁓ And break your water with Emma Grace? ⁓ did break my water, but they didn't break it until after I got the epidural. So I'm in the lobby, I have that contraction, I'm supposed to be waiting on Aldo and I said, fuck this. Can I cuss on this? Yeah. Okay. I said, fuck this. And I got in the elevator and just went up. checked me. They didn't, for some reason there wasn't triage in COVID. Okay. So you go straight to the room ⁓ and the comes in. I'd never met this midwife in my life and she was a God send. She is my true angel. I'll never forget Molly. I will never forget her she ended up being my doula. Yeah. And she checks me and she says, you're eight centimeters. And I said, what? What? Like eight? Like literally, I'm like, yes. You are so close. Oh, so was so different from Emma Grace. I'm also just picturing Aldo. Sweet Aldo. He's not even in the room yet. I know. I'm picturing him walking into the lobby and being like, has anyone seen a very loud, very small woman in labor? Yeah, he didn't. I don't even think he knew where to go. That's a Noah's story. And so he gets in the room. I remember I looked at him I said, babe, I'm eight centimeters. And he said, what? And so he texted my mom immediately and he's like, she's eight centimeters. And my mom's like, it's go time! My mom was so excited. So Molly looks at me. She's like, how you doing? I'm like, I'm in the worst pain of my life. And she said, okay. And I said, can I still get the epidural? I remember asking her this. And she looked at me and she goes, no, no, no, we're going to break your water and you're going to start pushing. And it was just like, she never even like, she didn't know my birth plan. Yeah. She didn't know you wanted. She didn't know I wanted it natural. She just was like, no, we're going to do this. Yeah. And I needed that at that moment because you're just in an egg. can't even describe that amount of pain. No, we block it out and keep doing it. This is why you do it again. As I talk about this, I'm like, oh boy, can't believe I'm doing this again. they broke my water. So we get in there at 345, they broke my water. And I remember I had, it was like, she checked me again. And she said I had like a little, my cervix was like, there was a little bit of a lip of my cervix, which I never, I don't know what that really meant. And she was like, so your next contraction, I'm gonna try to move it out of the way. And she was like, when I did the next contraction, I pushed a little and she was like, ⁓ okay, I think it's time. And I was only nine centimeters. She was like, it's go time. Which the other thing about her, I know I was eight centimeters. She never left the room. Like once I got in there, she never left my side. And I needed that. Like I remember at one point I was leaning over the bed and I was like, the contraction was so painful that I was like. Yeah. that. And she was like, lower your voice. Because when you, her instruction was that if you do those high pitched voices that actually closes your cervix, low pitch can open your cervix. totally. If you think about it, when you make a high pitched noise like that, your body like tenses. Yes. But if you make a low pitched noise, you can feel like your body relax and open. Exactly. Yeah. So it was stuff like that. And then she was kneading my back like She sounds amazing. She was amazing. She was like a What is it? Per diem? A per diem midwife? ⁓ wow. Because she just had kids. Yeah, I was like, that's like, can't be right. And so all she did was deliver babies. She never did in office. ⁓ ⁓ was a calling. It was. ⁓ was. ⁓ was so amazing. So ⁓ after nine centimeter little push, ⁓ I started pushing. And I don't know how many pushes it was. Like with Kennedy, I cannot remember. All I know is that it was fast. Did you feel the urge? Like, did you feel like your body, like you could not hold back? cannot hold back. I've always pushed on my side. So I'm a big side pusher and there's always somebody there holding my leg. Thank God, because it's like, you can't just have like a straight leg there. And I also remember they never got the IV in me. ⁓ the two things were, You're supposed to bring this like big packet of paperwork from your doctor, which I... How painful it was, I could never get out that the paperwork was in one of the bags. So they had to ask me a million questions. Did you get the T-dap vaccine? All these things. was like, I don't remember. And then because my contractions were so close together, every time they went to try to put the IV in me, I was like, no, no, another one's coming. And I had to like get up. I never sat down, never sat down, always on the ball or on the end of the bed. And then... We pushed a couple times. Aldo said he felt like he was in a jungle and I was the beast. I love that. And was born at 4.57 a.m. So we got to the hospital at 3.45. She was born an hour and 15 minutes later. That was close. Full labor was three and a half hours. Thank goodness you didn't listen to your mom. Thank goodness. By the way, with the third one, she kept her mouth shut. Yeah. And I was like, I'm going to the hospital. Wow. That's incredible. That is so fast. It was so fast. I think to qualify for precipitous labor, has to be three hours or less. You were pretty dang close. What's precipitous labor? It's basically extremely fast labor. When your contractions, from contraction to birth, is three hours or less. ⁓ that's Noah. Yeah. ⁓ we'll get there. I did not know that. Yeah. ⁓ wow. It's intense. It was so fast. do remember I had to get up to pee very soon after she was born. and I almost fainted. I do understand why they give you an IV to give you those fluids. They shoved ammonia in my face. wow. ⁓ Because was ⁓ sitting the toilet and I was like, you can feel yourself about to pass out. I'd never felt that before. And they stuck that stuff in my face and it was instantly better. And then I ate food because I was so hungry. Well, with both of them I guess, did you do a golden hour afterwards? ⁓ Did they latch in the delivery room? I'm blessed that I've had three golden hours. I know that that is truly a blessing and I know not everybody gets that. ⁓ And with Kennedy, because it was COVID, they want to take the baby out of the room for you to get tested. You're supposed to get tested while you're in labor so that you don't have to worry about this. But because my labor was so fast once I got to the hospital, they wanted to test me for COVID after she was born. and they said they needed to take the baby away for like an hour and a half. And I looked at them and I said, no, no, I declined. Yeah. If I have COVID, I'll wear my mask. Because I was, I'm not being ripped of that when my child is perfectly healthy. I'm perfectly healthy. We are going to, we are going to be together. Right. And if you have COVID or not, you're still going to take the baby home and nurse and do all the things. So there was, yeah, there was no question in my mind. We had, we had the golden hour. She latched. I could tell from the start something was up with her latch. With Kennedy? Yeah. I mean, I didn't know at the time. We ended up figuring out she had a tongue tie and a lip tie. Because with Emma Grace, never really hurt. Kennedy, it hurt immediately. My nipples looked ridiculous. Lipstick nipple. Yes. ⁓ yes. ⁓ gosh. that was Kennedy. ⁓ so she was born the 23rd. They kept me all day. ⁓ And then she had something called Coombs positive because I'm RH negative. And so it's just, it's way more scary if you have Billy Rubin levels that are increasing. Okay. So it's like a whole nother level of jaundice. So they're very careful with that. So they, I would have been able to go home at 24 hours if she didn't have, if she wasn't Coombs positive. Okay. So we did end up missing Emma Grace's second birthday because we got home that night of her birthday, but she was already asleep. She brought her the best gift ever. Next day she got to meet her little sister. Now they're best friends. I know. It's the best gift. It really is. ⁓ I love babies. That's good. You have a lot of them. I hope I like teenagers. Yes, I know. It's a different story. can't send them back. No, not by that was Kennedy, my little second Spitfire. ⁓ should have known she was going to be a middle child. Yes. ⁓ makes her presence known. She still does to this day. So then Noah. ⁓ is my baby boy. ⁓ did not know he was a boy because he was my one surprise. ⁓ out surprise team. ⁓ is like big surprise. Yes. It's so fun. It's so fun, but so shocking. ⁓ And why you guys decide you wanted to do a surprise ⁓ with third? We always wanted two girls. ⁓ we wanted sisters. I'm one of three girls. Although just his whole life has always wanted two girls. That's so interesting. So made to be a girl dad. ⁓ is. ⁓ ⁓ we got our two girls ⁓ we had a bit of a ⁓ time after the girls were born and we tried to get pregnant again. And so we had three miscarriages after Kennedy and we had not had any problems getting pregnant with Emma Grace or Kennedy. And so I think just the fact that we got pregnant with Noah was such a miracle to us. I firmly believe everything about babies and everything is a true miracle. If you don't believe in God, just have a baby and you'll believe. Especially after you've been through, you just ⁓ one more and you can't. So ⁓ out we were pregnant with Noah, we didn't care. We literally did not care. I ⁓ wanted a healthy baby. and we wanted a healthy baby to complete our family, we thought. And so we were good with our two girls. like, if this is a boy or a girl, it doesn't matter. ⁓ that was why we decided to do the surprise. But I did not have gestational diabetes with this baby, which was a telltale sign from one of our friends. She was like, I feel like it's a boy just because you don't have gestational diabetes. We all felt that way. Yeah. because, yeah, I was like, I mean, ⁓ very different. It's very rare to. ⁓ subsequent pregnancies to not have gestational diabetes. I was like, something's different about this Something's different. Sure enough. But Mr. Noah's birth is so different than his sister's in a lot of ways. I thought, you know, I've had two babies. I know what I'm doing now. Right. I'm a pro. The baby's going to be late. They're going to strip my membranes. ⁓ Then baby's going to come a day later and it's going to be great. One of my midwives told me that third babies either fall out or stall out. And so when she told me that, I was like, oh, so maybe my birth won't be as fast as Kennedy's. And I think I probably shouldn't have heard that because it like put it in the back of my mind, like, oh, don't want to have a long labor again. So we get to 39 weeks and I haven't been checked yet. I don't get checked until I'm 40 weeks. I remember I had gotten a huge argument with my mom. This is so funny ⁓ ⁓ they didn't have any appointment dates for my due date. ⁓ so was like, okay, I'll just get my membrane stripped at 39 weeks, five days. And my mom was so against that. ⁓ like, ⁓ you need to wait. The baby's not ready. You need to wait until you're ⁓ I'm like, mom, it's two days. ⁓ Turns out the baby arrives on 39 weeks, five days. like jokes on us. was ready. These things that like you are like so hyped up about the arguments you get in, like they mean nothing. Baby comes when baby's ready. Right. It's such a good lesson just in parenting. Yes. That's like, there's so little that is within your control. Yes. So little. You no control. From day one. It also, that teaches you for the rest of parenting. Exactly. Yeah. I was due December 15th, 2023, and a.m. on December 13th, my mom was already staying with us, my water breaks. Never had my water break before. And I remember I got up to go, because by then you're going to the bathroom three times a night. I get up to go to the bathroom and I feel this light gush, and then I feel a big gush, and I was like, Aldo! Aldo I think my water just broke. Well, your water doesn't just break once. No. You continue to leak water until that freaking baby comes. It's honestly just really annoying. It is. gross. It's messy. It's annoying. We put towels all over the bathroom, all over the bed. My water broke with both of the boys. it's just a hassle. It is. Also, it makes your contractions way more painful. That too. Little did I know. Yeah. Because you have less padding. Yes. The water, your amniotic fluid provides a bunch of padding for the baby and for the contractions. Once you start to lose that fluid and lose that padding, the contractions are a lot more intense. Yes. Yes. It's another level. My water breaks, but I have no contractions, which this is new territory for me. Same thing happened to me. I've never been through this. All I knew was the 24-hour rule. Once your water breaks, you have 24 hours to get that baby out. Well, I started to freak out about the 24 hour one. I'm like, literally, literally I've had two vaginal births. Like it's going to be fine. But so the other side of this is it's December 13th. And for those who don't know, that's Taylor Swift's birthday. And as soon as my water breaks, I started to think, ⁓ my gosh, this baby could be born on Taylor Swift's birthday. ⁓ my gosh, what if... I have this baby after midnight and then it's not born on Taylor's birthday. There was a part of me that really wanted the baby to be born on Taylor's birthday. Of course it ends up being a boy, which is like, he's not going to care that it's Taylor's You never know. You never know. We'll see. Those are the stupid things going through my head. I remember I did call my doctor and she told our midwife, so I see midwives. but it has an OB practice with it. Do we go to the same practice? We did. We did. For Noah Okay. my practice for Kennedy closed. Yes. The midwives left. Yeah. So yeah, we've been to the same one the last one. You recommended it to That's what I thought. Okay. And told me you should come to the hospital, what did they say? Within six to eight hours of your water breaking, I think is what they told me. Because my water broke at 3 a.m. They wanted me to come between 9 and 11. Okay. And I was like, okay. But at 3 a.m., you're like, you can't sleep. Like your water has just broken. Your adrenaline is surging. And you have no contractions. You're like, what is going on? So she told me, I remember the midwife on the phone said, you can clean, you can pack your bag, you can go do some dishes. Like, I'm like, So I stayed up from 3 until 6 30 when I had to wake my kids up. Yeah. And my mom. came out, I remember, to get her coffee at 6.30 and Aldo goes, still no baby. And my mom goes, yeah, Aldo, there's not gonna be a baby till after the due date, just like the other two. And I go, well, my water broke this morning. She goes, what? I'm like, yeah, this was supposed to be the day that I was gonna strip my membranes. And so we got the kids ready for school. My nanny came over, she got all the kids out. Still no contractions. Still no contractions. And that is when I had my breakdown. It was 9 a.m. Everyone had left, but Aldo and my mom were still there, and I called him into the bathroom and I was… ⁓ I had done a one-hour power pumping session, 15 minutes on, 15 minutes off, to try… Because the midwife had said that pumping can help… Nipple stimulation can help induce contractions. And I… There was nothing, like not even any sign of a contraction. And I was bawling my eyes out. Like, Aldo, I don't… It's 9 a.m. This is when I'm supposed to be going to the hospital and I'm like, I don't want to go to the hospital. I don't want to labor in the hospital. I haven't had to do that except for like after many hours of being at home with Emma Grace. And I'm like, it's going to cause me to not progress. Like I had a lot of things in my head. Yeah. And he looked at me and he said, we don't have to go to the hospital. We don't have to go to the hospital. He goes, let's wait till 3 p.m. That's 24 hours from or that's 12. That's 12 hours from when your water broke. You still have 12 more hours to go for labor. And he goes, things are going to happen before 3 PM. And then my mom walks in and she looks at me and she goes, you need a nap. Lay down, take a nap, go to sleep. You're going to feel like a new woman in an hour. My mother needed to be there. I firmly believe that because I have been up since three o'clock in the morning. I'd been running on adrenaline. You were momming. I was momming. I was so tired, like worried about the what ifs. Right. And like Aldo was never going to tell me to take a nap because he knows not to push. But my mother pushes me when I don't want to be pushed. And she was right. Yeah. She was a hundred. And I like, you know, I love my mom to death and we agree on many things. We disagree on other things, but like there are times in my life that I'm like, thank God I had my mom. Yeah. And this is one of them. This really is one. And I have later in the story, like I have another mom moment. ⁓ I go to sleep at 9.30. I woke up at 10.30 with my first contraction and it hit so hard. And then they were three minutes apart immediately. And I took a shower and I was like, ⁓ my gosh, this is intense. My water had broken. And like it just took my body relaxing. Anxiety is the enemy of labor. It is. And you don't realize it when you're in it. But like I needed to relax. And that was like the body's way of being like, hey, we can do this. And so have my first contraction at 1030. It's so similar. It's funny. It's very similar to my, both of my experiences with my water breaking and then not having contractions for hours and hours afterwards. Yeah. And like, I feel like that's not talked about a lot. Yeah. People talk about all the fact like your water breaks and then you have the baby. Right. No, there can be this long delay. Yeah. Like my water broke at 3 a.m. I didn't get my first contract until 10.30. Yep. I have a similar. It's set for eight hours. I took another shower. Like my thing is just to take a shower and have that water on my back. getting out of the shower at like 11.15. And I looked at Aldo and I'm like, I think we need to go to the hospital. Like it hadn't even been a full hour of the three minute, one minute long. And I was like, but this feels like Kennedy. And my mom was like, she looks at me she goes, are you sure? And I said, I'm sure. And you know, it still takes a minute to like get everything together, get in the car. So we got in the car at like 1140. This is what's so insane. My mom actually, took pictures. There's a picture of me with my butt to her. She's in the front seat having a contraction. have timestamps of everything. So she took a picture at 1157. This is like, remember sitting at the stoplight. My contractions just, went from like, I thought they were horrible at home. They were way worse in the car. And I remember screaming at Aldo, get to the hospital. Get to the hospital. This is so painful. We pulled into the labor and delivery, and my mom had taken a picture at 1157. This poor little security guard man comes with a- Wheelchair? Wheelchair. And I'm like, I can't sit down. I screamed at him. And my mom and Aldo left the doors open, left the car, we all went. I bet it happens way more than you think. I bet it does. But we get into the lobby and I get another contraction and I sounded like a banshee. Like, ooh. And this nurse comes out of nowhere. They know their sound. And she had a walkie talkie and she's like, I have a woman in active labor. I need a room right now. Like, it was like a full on movie. Yeah. And she brings in a wheelchair and I'm like, can't sit down. She's like, you're sitting down. I'm getting you to a room. That woman could not sit down. Merelise she ran. through the hospital. I was in the room within a minute. Yeah. Okay. But yeah, I remember I couldn't sit down either. I was in so much pain. Because the baby is making its way down your birth canal. Yes. Yes. You'd be sitting on its head. That is not comfortable. Aldo has to stay back to check me in because we're in the hospital now. cannot remember the name of my practice. Oh, They're like, what's the name of your wife's practice? He's like, I have I have no idea. And so he has to search his email. Meanwhile, my mom goes into the room with me. The car is left on with the doors open out in the roundabout. And my mom gets in the room. It was December, so it was cold and I had worn these stupid fake Uggs. I love this story. They have these like buckles. They're from Costco. have these buckles on the side. You know, they want you to get into the gown and everything. mom, couldn't get my shoes off. And I was like, mom, help me with my shoes. My mom is like unbuckling the, you don't have to unbuckle it. You can just pull them off. She only ever got one off. ⁓ I delivered with one on. also like you like to get butt naked when you. Yeah. could not put the gown on. Yeah. With Emma Grace, I wore the gown, but with Kennedy and Noah, I'm ⁓ butt naked. Like my mom has all the pictures and they're for nobody to see because it's literally everything. ⁓ And I, so they check me and they're like, she's seven centimeters. And I'm like, oh, I'm only seven. And my mom's like, I'm running to get Aldo. And she like leaves. Cause my mom knows like seven centimeters without your water broken. Like that's, that could be 10 minutes. And so she runs to the hallway. I'm left alone. Wait, did you get the other Ugg off? I think she did. I don't think I delivered with just one Ugg on. I think maybe one of the nurses helped. But yes, my mom could not get it off. It was not my mom. And then the lady who wants to do IV, it like, I felt like it was Kennedy 2.0. I screamed at her at one point. I'm like, get it in now ⁓ because it's your contractions are coming so fast. Like I can't sit here and wait for you to get a needle in me. And she did get that one in, thank goodness. So we had a midwife who I'd never met before. I remember her coming in and by the way, I arrived at noon ⁓ and she said, are you, were you hoping to have an unmedicated birth? ⁓ I was like, I mean, I want to try if I can, but if I can't do it, I'm fine with an epidural. And that was basically all she said to me. Like she left the room again and I continued to labor and Aldo got in, my mom got in and I was just, I thought my pain with Kennedy was bad. This was like another level. I remember looking at Aldo and being like, I never want to do this again. Please, when is this going to stop? And I finally was like, where's the midwife? Where's the midwife? It was 1230 and I asked, I said, where's the midwife? She came in and I looked at her and I said, how much longer, I can't do this much longer. And I had not been in labor that long, but it was so painful and they were so fast. Like I never got a break. And that is when you're just like done. And she looks at me, she goes, the baby will be here in the next 30 minutes. And I looked at her and I said, fuck that. I said, fuck that. I think I screamed the word fuck like a hundred times in this labor. And I just started pushing. I was like. Fuck all of you people, I want this baby out of me right now. Wow. Push him three times and he was out. ⁓ my My mom, I remember I was pushing the second time. The midwife is not saying a thing. She's not giving me any updates on my progress. I needed encouragement. Right. My mom is the one who went and looked and she's like, see the head. Yeah. I needed that. Did she try, did the midwife try to stop you? Because I know sometimes it can be a little bit dangerous to push if you're not dilated. Yeah. But also dilation is a- bit subjective, like depending on the size of the hands, whatever, like the expertise of the doctor, midwife. So like, obviously your body was ready like to get this baby out, but was the midwife like, no, you can't? Or was she just like, okay, good. No, midwife didn't really talk much at ⁓ all. so like, I think maybe there was like a little bit of time, like where I was getting into position or whatever. So it did delay things like a little bit, but I do remember specifically her telling me the 30 minute mark and I was like, no, I'm not doing 30 minutes. ⁓ mom is the one who really helped me feel like I could finish this off. And then he came out. Three pushes. Three pushes. It was so fast. ⁓ was my least tear, which is so funny. He was eight pounds, three ounces, same as Kennedy. ⁓ He was a boy. And I remember the midwife looks at Aldo because they all had known, my mom had told everybody in the room that it was a surprise and we didn't know what it was. And Aldo looks down and he's like, what, is that a swollen vagina? Like what is that? Yes, it is. And then the midwife is like, look, and I already had seen, like I had seen, and he's like, it's a boy. And I'm like, what in the world? Like, this is crazy. We all started crying and they laid him on me. You know, he's screaming, crying. Everything was perfect. ⁓ Did Aldo cut the cord with any of them? All three? Yeah. you do delayed cord cut? Yeah, with all three I did delayed. And ⁓ do remember getting stitched up with him. It was my most painful stitch up because you he's laying on you, ⁓ you've just been through this crazy experience and then they have to like, ⁓ they can do is when you don't have an epidural is like a little, Lidocaine or no? Lidocaine? I don't know. It's one of the canes and it does nothing. Yeah. And I remember being like, ouch, ouch, multiple times. So that was my other thing I didn't like about the midwife. But then was over and we got our beautiful golden hour and we had the most amazing nurses. Like you know, you get your labor and delivery nurse, you get ⁓ your nurse. Right. And I remember all of them saying, That was amazing to watch. We never get to see stuff like this anymore. was two hours and 15 minutes. was born at 1247 from the first contraction. Wow. It was a whirlwind. No kidding. It really Was the whole team even in the room, the baby team and everything, when he was born? Or were people still rushing in like when he I think people were still rushing in. And I do know that some of the student nurses got to watch and they came up to me afterward. were like, it was so cool to see this. Northside has a lot of epidurals. Yes. I most hospitals do. do, remember calling my dad because my dad was like, ⁓ he supposed to come down that day. Then my water breaks. And then he's like, okay, so it's going to be by the nighttime. We call him. like, the baby's here. I remember texting all of you. You were like, the baby's already here. We were like, what? Yeah. And he cried when we told him it was a boy, his first grandson. So that was really sweet. And his middle name is your maiden name. I'm sure that was special to your dad. Yes. It was really fun. And then I just remember I had the best postpartum with him. I don't know if it's because by then you have been through multiple or we just had a really great breastfeeding experience. mean, we didn't sleep at all, but ⁓ with the no sleep, remember being, I remember two weeks ⁓ I looked at Aldo and I was like, I could do this again. Whereas like when we were in- about that two week mark. I don't know. Something about that two week mark. You're on like a high. Yes. My two week mark with Emma Grace was the polar opposite. ⁓ was a full on basket case. Same with Kit, but with Ford, I was like, I could do this. Yeah. Chris was like, shut up. He's like, no, I'm done being your doula. Yeah. ⁓ ⁓ Now baby number four is on the way. Yeah, and we'll have an April story. ⁓ and the plan is to The plan the plan now is Don't have the baby at home or in the car. think that's good. They're getting progressively shorter and shorter I do think with this one if if God willing I get to have my first contraction at home I think we'll leave very soon after that. Yeah, I don't I'm I think now I'm older I'm a little bit wiser and I'm like I don't want to risk a complication at this stage. I am very natural, but I'm also like healthy baby, healthy mommy is the most important thing. And so I've had my two natural births. If my fourth one doesn't turn out to be natural, I'll be okay with that. But I'd also love natural just because then I get, you really bounce back a lot faster and that is so wonderful. So we'll see what's in store for me. Out of your three, which one was your favorite? Noah. Noah was my favorite. buddy. Kennedy's a close second, but Noah, because it was so, by the way, he was born on December 13th, so he shares her birthday. He made Taylor's birthday. Yes, he did. I also think because I was expecting it to be so long, I was also expecting to follow the girls. He was going to be late, and he decided to just shock me in all the ways, and I think I needed that. The third baby, you expect everything to be just like the other ones, and it's not. amazing. They're all, I think that's one of the coolest things about birth to me is that ⁓ it's the same gender, if it's the same mom, ⁓ one can be completely different. They're all unique. All unique. Just like the little humans that come into the world. ⁓ know. It's so cool. And then they like bloom into these beautiful little ⁓ ⁓ I do sometimes feel like birth is representative of like what their little personalities end up being. ⁓ don't know. Like I feel like with me at least, ⁓ Kit was, it was a slow labor. He did not want to come out. And that boy has been glued to my side ever since. It was such a mama's boy. And then with Ford, he was like much faster, more intense, like came out like wailing and he's been that way ever since. Like he's just like such an intense, loud, like, you know, do first, ask second baby. Also that second child. Yes, that's true. Classic second child. I don't know. mean, the Grace's being so long. She is my most patient and calm child. Kennedy coming out so quickly, thought so quickly at the time. She's ⁓ like a spitfire. Noah is my one that is, he's on the fence, right? He's not even two yet. ⁓ So ⁓ definitely way more personality than he did a year ago. ⁓ But he's very calm. So I would expect like his labor being so crazy. would be like that. Now he is becoming more vocal and short tempered and stuff like that. So I'm like, okay, maybe this is adding up. We don't know yet to be seen. He's so delicious. They all are. so are your babies. All babies are delicious. know. know. It's why we keep having them. Yes. Yes. I like to close by asking my guests to describe labor in three words or describe birth in three words. ⁓ boy. ⁓ ⁓ A miracle. Yeah. Like you're the ultimate sacrifice, I think is what I would say. Yeah. And then that continues on in parenthood. Yes. Yeah. Yeah. It's just the start of it. Actually, I think finding out you're pregnant is the start of it. That's true. That is very true. Talk about a sacrifice, pregnancy. Pregnancy, labor, postpartum, it is the ultimate sacrifice. Yeah. But it's so beautiful. It is. It's worth it. Yeah. Oh, well, thank you so much for doing this and for sharing your stories. I love you. love this. you. You've been listening to the Arrivals podcast. I'm your host, Merelise Wilson. Until next time.