Latest / Arkansas Athletes Outreach / Ep. 2 - Be A Fan: Practical Guidance for Sports Parents with Jeff Soderquist

Transcript

Ep. 2 - Be A Fan: Practical Guidance for Sports Parents with Jeff Soderquist · Arkansas Athletes Outreach

• 0:04
  SPEAKER_01: Hello and welcome to the AAO Podcast.
• 0:06
  SPEAKER_01: Here at AAO, our mission is to build champions for life through the transformational power of sports.
• 0:11
  SPEAKER_01: Here on this podcast, we are aiming to equip you, the parent, the grandparent, the guardian, the aunt, the uncle, leading a child in youth athletics in today's culture.
• 0:22
  SPEAKER_01: So buckle up and thanks for joining us here on the AAO Podcast.
• 0:26
  SPEAKER_01: All right.
• 0:26
  SPEAKER_01: Hey, everybody.
• 0:27
  SPEAKER_01: Welcome back to the AAO Podcast episode two.
• 0:31
  SPEAKER_01: We're joined again by uh Jeff Sotoquist, Associate Athletic Director of John Brown University, uh long-tenured coach with a history of, and honestly, Jeff, just the results of life impact.
• 0:45
  SPEAKER_01: You know, I think that's one thing I've appreciated about you because I think we've known each other for about two years.
• 0:50
  SPEAKER_01: You stepped onto the board of AAO.
• 0:52
  SPEAKER_01: Um, I stepped on as the executive director.
• 0:54
  SPEAKER_01: And, you know, one thing, Jeff, I always appreciate about you, I don't think I've told you this, is that every time we get together, before you ask any questions about business or AAO, you always just check on me.
• 1:06
  SPEAKER_01: I really appreciate that about you.
• 1:08
  SPEAKER_01: Um I have a feeling that's not something you learned in the last two years, but through years of coaching.
• 1:14
  SPEAKER_01: And so I do appreciate that about you.
• 1:15
  SPEAKER_01: And I can just tell um, just from our short relationship, the impact you've obviously had on countless lives.
• 1:22
  SPEAKER_01: Uh thank you.
• 1:22
  SPEAKER_01: So thanks for joining us again today.
• 1:24
  SPEAKER_01: Uh so the last time we were together, Jeff, we really kind of got to three main points.
• 1:28
  SPEAKER_01: All right.
• 1:28
  SPEAKER_01: We said it's critical for a coach uh to be able to show their athletes that they care just about them as a human and as a person.
• 1:37
  SPEAKER_01: Uh we said it's important to have great communication.
• 1:39
  SPEAKER_01: Communication gaps often get filled and usually they're wrong.
• 1:43
  SPEAKER_01: And then lastly, we said it's important for an athlete uh or a kid just to have the opportunity to fail.
• 1:48
  SPEAKER_01: Those are kind of the things we talked about.
• 1:49
  SPEAKER_01: Um, kind of just picking up right there, Jeff.
• 1:52
  SPEAKER_01: You know, how do you, as a as a parent, as I think I told you last time, you know, I've got a seven-year-old and a nine-year-old.
• 1:59
  SPEAKER_01: Um how does a parent know when to intervene and when the kid just needs to figure it out?
• 2:05
  SPEAKER_01: You got anything for us there?
• 2:07
  SPEAKER_02: Yeah, I mean, I think I think I well, one of the things I told you that story last time of my dad in that tennis match where the the kid was cheating online calls, and he very much could have stepped in, made a big deal about it, tried to get people or start yelling at other people or whatever, and he did, and he kept encouraging me.
• 2:29
  SPEAKER_02: Um he didn't turn his back on me or anything, he kept encouraging me, and and and I did lose the tennis match.
• 2:35
  SPEAKER_02: Yeah, and I felt very cheated, right?
• 2:39
  SPEAKER_02: And and and he afterwards he he uh which I I think I'll lead into here in a little bit too, just like conversations with your kid after the games, but but um you know he's he's encouraging me, he he told me that yeah, you know, this is life's gonna happen like this, and and it's it's hard, and that you will get cheated, um, and you will have people that will treat you unfairly.
• 3:09
  SPEAKER_02: And um uh and I did it.
• 3:12
  SPEAKER_02: I mean, I I think it it it helped me, you know, and in my 27 years as head coach, um uh you know, we got some bad calls.
• 3:24
  SPEAKER_02: Yeah, we had some happens, huh?
• 3:25
  SPEAKER_02: We had some things, and and um, and you know, but but it it allowed me, right, to be able to handle it because when those things happen, my players are gonna watch how I handle it, yeah, right, as a coach.
• 3:41
  SPEAKER_02: And I watched how my dad handled that.
• 3:44
  SPEAKER_02: Absolutely.
• 3:45
  SPEAKER_02: So then my way of handling it, I stood up for my team.
• 3:48
  SPEAKER_02: I didn't just get walked over, I stood up for my team, but I but how I handled it was was um uh and teaching them a lesson about life too, in that sure, and so I think um uh yeah, I I think those uh those things, but I just think you know, I um I I do think there's this this level of and I'm a parent of right of kids that grew up playing and and um and whether it's playing or just life, right?
• 4:21
  SPEAKER_02: You you you don't want harm to come to your kids, right?
• 4:25
  SPEAKER_02: And that that's not anything wrong, that's a natural feeling of a parent.
• 4:30
  SPEAKER_02: That's right.
• 4:31
  SPEAKER_02: The hard thing of a parent is not to intervene and and and to to protect them at times that that that you want to.
• 4:41
  SPEAKER_02: And and I just think um person grew up in athletics and and coached, I had a good coach that encouraged me to be a coach in high school.
• 4:53
  SPEAKER_02: Um, I also had bad coaches that I learned a lot from because I learned how not to be a coach.
• 5:01
  SPEAKER_02: Right.
• 5:01
  SPEAKER_02: And so so even if your kid has a coach that's that that that that's maybe isn't good, and my kids had them, my kids had good coaches and bad coaches, um, it it it also is they're gonna have um uh a good boss and a bad boss.
• 5:18
  SPEAKER_02: Yeah, right.
• 5:19
  SPEAKER_02: And and so um uh and and learn from that and and um uh be able to um a bad coach doesn't affect how hard you play, doesn't affect how your attitude doesn't maybe he doesn't know his X and O's and things like that, but but you can still play hard.
• 5:39
  SPEAKER_02: Yeah, you can still try to get better, you can still have a good attitude, you know, all those things you can encourage your teammates, you can um uh be supportive and all that.
• 5:49
  SPEAKER_02: Uh good coach, bad coach doesn't affect those things.
• 5:52
  SPEAKER_02: No, no, and so um I think um teaching your kid it you know use it as a teaching tie right there, yeah.
• 6:02
  SPEAKER_02: Um, and and I think that that's um that's how I would um uh I see too many times.
• 6:11
  SPEAKER_02: I mean, let's admit, I mean, uh the last so many years of my career, I went to a lot of summer uh AAU events, right?
• 6:19
  SPEAKER_02: Travel ball and all that.
• 6:21
  SPEAKER_02: You got some high schooler running the clock who's on his phone and not paying attention.
• 6:26
  SPEAKER_02: Yeah, I know.
• 6:27
  SPEAKER_02: You know this writing organization.
• 6:29
  SPEAKER_02: My head's the other one I just named.
• 6:30
  SPEAKER_02: Yeah, you've got refs that are doing games all day that towards the end of the day, they're walking up and down the court right there.
• 6:38
  SPEAKER_02: And and and I see so many parents get worked up about that, but it's almost like okay, so what what are what's your expectation?
• 6:49
  SPEAKER_02: And and and and let let let it all develop, yeah.
• 6:53
  SPEAKER_02: Let let it all you know you know work out, and um um and and I was at one that you know the the kid run the clock, was on his phone, forgot to put his score up, and the and the parent just went ballistic, yeah.
• 7:09
  SPEAKER_02: And the one thing to understand is more is caught than taught.
• 7:16
  SPEAKER_02: And and so if your child is seeing you go ballistic over a high schooler running the clock during the summer on a game that maybe doesn't mean a whole bunch.
• 7:29
  SPEAKER_02: Yeah, um, uh it what's that kid gonna do then?
• 7:34
  SPEAKER_02: Because he's caught that right there, right?
• 7:36
  SPEAKER_02: That's right.
• 7:37
  SPEAKER_02: And and so I I I just think, you know, let it, you know, I don't say not do anything about it, but you know, maybe at a break go over and tell the kid, hey, I think you missed two points when you were, you know, doing it and not time and place, right?
• 7:50
  SPEAKER_02: Right.
• 7:51
  SPEAKER_02: And and and those type of things, um, uh and and not let your you know, kid get, you know, social media.
• 8:00
  SPEAKER_02: I get reels now all the time of parents losing it and getting in the fight with arrests and uh and all that, and you're just sitting there, and all as all the kids are standing on the court watching all this happen, and you're just like going, what chance now does that kid have?
• 8:16
  SPEAKER_02: Because this is what he's observing.
• 8:17
  SPEAKER_02: Oh yeah, and and this is what he's caught.
• 8:19
  SPEAKER_01: Well, and I mean, even tied into that.
• 8:21
  SPEAKER_01: I mean, and so I mean so I've been, I guess I've been working in athletics for 10 years now.
• 8:27
  SPEAKER_01: So I go to a lot of games, not as long as usually, but been in it 10 years.
• 8:32
  SPEAKER_01: And no matter what age level I'm at, I guess except maybe college, you know what I often see is kid, kid makes the play.
• 8:38
  SPEAKER_01: You name the sport, doesn't matter, you name it.
• 8:40
  SPEAKER_01: They make a play, and after the play, you know where they look to?
• 8:44
  SPEAKER_01: They don't look to the coach.
• 8:47
  SPEAKER_01: Nine times out of ten, they look behind the back stop or look over in the bleachers at mom and dad.
• 8:54
  SPEAKER_01: Man.
• 8:55
  SPEAKER_01: And when I realized that, that blew my mind.
• 8:58
  SPEAKER_01: Because then I started watching these parents because I didn't have kids in these sports.
• 9:02
  SPEAKER_01: Mom and dad's on phone, mom and dad's yelling, mom and dad's cheering, mom and dad's doing something else.
• 9:08
  SPEAKER_01: Who knows?
• 9:09
  SPEAKER_01: Whatever they're doing, right?
• 9:10
  SPEAKER_01: And that's what that kid picks up.
• 9:12
  SPEAKER_01: And that just blew my mind because I just am like, well, it's the but the coach is here.
• 9:17
  SPEAKER_01: You should be listening, you know.
• 9:18
  SPEAKER_01: My mind, I'm like, you should be listening to your coach.
• 9:19
  SPEAKER_01: Here's the caveat.
• 9:21
  SPEAKER_01: My dad was my coach.
• 9:22
  SPEAKER_01: So I wasn't, I didn't grow up looking to the stands.
• 9:25
  SPEAKER_01: I'm looking over at the coach because that's my dad.
• 9:27
  SPEAKER_01: Right.
• 9:27
  SPEAKER_01: Um, but every time, guys, nine out of ten times, I'm gonna look right here at the camera.
• 9:32
  SPEAKER_01: Nine times out of ten, that kid is gonna look to the stands and see what you're gonna.
• 9:36
  SPEAKER_01: And here's the deal that kid makes that mistake on the score clock.
• 9:40
  SPEAKER_01: That ref misses that call, that umpired missed the call.
• 9:44
  SPEAKER_01: It's not even the point here.
• 9:46
  SPEAKER_01: What are you yelling at them?
• 9:47
  SPEAKER_01: What's that dude?
• 9:49
  SPEAKER_01: Now you're escalating something.
• 9:51
  SPEAKER_01: And nine times, I mean, again, just keep going here.
• 9:54
  SPEAKER_01: These these stats are making up, Jeff, with you.
• 9:56
  SPEAKER_01: That's not gonna help you.
• 9:58
  SPEAKER_01: No.
• 9:58
  SPEAKER_01: And you know, my wife and I, we're also we love coaches.
• 10:02
  SPEAKER_01: You know, we think, you know, old old Billy Graham quote when coach will impact more people in a single season than most of them in a lifetime.
• 10:09
  SPEAKER_01: We felt that that impact of a coach.
• 10:11
  SPEAKER_01: We really value that person.
• 10:14
  SPEAKER_01: And I just can't see.
• 10:16
  SPEAKER_01: I mean, it would I don't know what it would take for me to to yell at a coach while my kid's in a game.
• 10:22
  SPEAKER_01: Because they're that coach isn't out there trying to lose.
• 10:24
  SPEAKER_01: I've never met a coach who's like, hey, you know what?
• 10:26
  SPEAKER_01: I'm gonna lace up today and go try to lose this game.
• 10:29
  SPEAKER_01: Right.
• 10:29
  SPEAKER_01: No, they're doing their best.
• 10:30
  SPEAKER_01: They might be great at it.
• 10:31
  SPEAKER_01: I'll tell you that.
• 10:33
  SPEAKER_01: But me jumping on them after a game, what gets that to you?
• 10:36
  SPEAKER_01: Right.
• 10:36
  SPEAKER_01: It didn't make that good.
• 10:37
  SPEAKER_01: Tell me this kind of on that same same thing there, Jeff.
• 10:40
  SPEAKER_01: Postgame.
• 10:41
  SPEAKER_01: Yeah.
• 10:42
  SPEAKER_01: Again, doesn't matter what sport.
• 10:43
  SPEAKER_01: Postgame, uh, what conversation do you think a parent should be having with their kid in the car?
• 10:49
  SPEAKER_02: I and I'm a firm believer in this.
• 10:52
  SPEAKER_02: Um, I think this is biblical ask questions.
• 10:56
  SPEAKER_01: Okay, tell me a little bit more about that.
• 10:58
  SPEAKER_02: I think um Jesus asked questions.
• 11:01
  SPEAKER_02: Sure.
• 11:02
  SPEAKER_02: Um take the the invalid at the Bethesda pool.
• 11:09
  SPEAKER_02: Um, he was an invalid for 38 years.
• 11:11
  SPEAKER_02: Yeah, he's at a pool that's known for being healing water.
• 11:14
  SPEAKER_02: Yeah, and what does Jesus do?
• 11:17
  SPEAKER_02: He walks up and says, and he's Jesus, yeah, and he says, Do you want to get well?
• 11:22
  SPEAKER_02: He's right there, right?
• 11:23
  SPEAKER_02: Yeah, and and like, you know, like come on, Jesus.
• 11:26
  SPEAKER_02: I mean, one, you're Jesus, two, he's at a pool for healing.
• 11:30
  SPEAKER_02: And and and it's to get him right to to to say that right there.
• 11:35
  SPEAKER_02: And that is, I if if I, you know, my two years I was retired, I spent a lot of time um uh being a consultant with coaches and they wanted to know culture and they wanted to, and the biggest thing when they talk about handling players, and I think this is true for coaches and it's true for parents.
• 11:53
  SPEAKER_02: Like when you're in a situation where like a player comes in, they're upset about playing time or whatever, or a parent is ask questions and don't give them your opinion because eventually what will happen is is they'll they'll end up getting to probably where where you're thinking.
• 12:12
  SPEAKER_02: But I think as parents, what do you think of the game?
• 12:15
  SPEAKER_02: Yeah, you know, if there was a bad call, what you know what what did you think?
• 12:19
  SPEAKER_02: Don't immediately go, oh god, I can't believe that bad call stuff.
• 12:24
  SPEAKER_02: Ask questions, ask, well, how did you think you played?
• 12:27
  SPEAKER_02: Um, and I get it, right?
• 12:29
  SPEAKER_02: I mean, I had a teenager son a lot of times he doesn't want to answer.
• 12:31
  SPEAKER_02: Yeah, but but ask and keep asking, maybe come back to it.
• 12:35
  SPEAKER_02: But but um I I think two things.
• 12:39
  SPEAKER_02: One is parents need to be fans, yeah, not coaches.
• 12:42
  SPEAKER_02: Parents need to be fans, some confusion and all that, isn't it?
• 12:45
  SPEAKER_02: And then and then I just think ask questions.
• 12:47
  SPEAKER_02: I think you go, uh I could go through the the Bible and you just see where Jesus, whether it's the Pharisees attacking him or whoever it was, Jesus asked questions instead of just telling them his opinion.
• 13:01
  SPEAKER_02: Yeah, give me that.
• 13:02
  SPEAKER_02: And so I just think with parents, it's just like, you know, um uh you know, even and and even if the kid starts, can't believe Coach didn't play me.
• 13:13
  SPEAKER_02: Well, okay, so why do you think Kobe didn't play you?
• 13:16
  SPEAKER_02: Yeah.
• 13:16
  SPEAKER_02: Um uh and not you be the first one to say, I can't believe Coach didn't play me.
• 13:22
  SPEAKER_02: Yes.
• 13:22
  SPEAKER_02: Um, you know, or or you know, even and the the example of my dad again, that tennis match, my dad asked me questions in the car.
• 13:30
  SPEAKER_02: You know, how did that make you feel like you so how how could you as handled right this person cheating on the lines?
• 13:38
  SPEAKER_02: You know, um uh you know, it it um and those type of things.
• 13:43
  SPEAKER_02: Um, I think obviously I remember this.
• 13:47
  SPEAKER_02: I mean, how did a typical young kid competitive?
• 13:50
  SPEAKER_02: I remember tennis matches, me being mad and throwing the racket.
• 13:53
  SPEAKER_02: Well, you know, I you know, yeah, it was the the ride home was not maybe pleasant.
• 14:00
  SPEAKER_02: I mean, there's times I do think you need to step in and and and be disciplinary or holding your child accountable in the sense of you know, all of a sudden I learned right away that my parents weren't gonna buy me any more tennis rackets if I was gonna throw them.
• 14:16
  SPEAKER_00: Yeah, right.
• 14:17
  SPEAKER_02: And that's not the way we handle things.
• 14:19
  SPEAKER_02: Sure.
• 14:19
  SPEAKER_02: And and then yes, but I I just think and I tell this to coaches, I tell this to parents, ask questions.
• 14:26
  SPEAKER_01: Yeah, absolutely.
• 14:27
  SPEAKER_01: Man, I echo that a thousand percent.
• 14:29
  SPEAKER_01: I don't know if I even have anything to add to that.
• 14:31
  SPEAKER_02: And and just don't give your opinion right away because you asking questions that they'll end up getting to be.
• 14:37
  SPEAKER_02: And when you figure out what's going on in his head, yeah, you know what's going on in your head.
• 14:42
  SPEAKER_02: And you can be frustrated and mad about the totes or out there, but but don't show that and ask questions.
• 14:49
  SPEAKER_01: Yeah, that's right.
• 14:50
  SPEAKER_01: And I always tell people sports or not, I always say, hey, lead with questions.
• 14:54
  SPEAKER_01: It's who, what, where, how, and then occasionally why.
• 15:00
  SPEAKER_01: Because why can often get misconstrued.
• 15:02
  SPEAKER_01: Why don't you do that thing?
• 15:03
  SPEAKER_01: And that tone changes a little bit versus, hey, what did you see out there that made you make that decision?
• 15:09
  SPEAKER_01: You know, and um, you know, one thing we really love to lead with in my household after a game is I'm really proud of you for working hard.
• 15:17
  SPEAKER_01: You know, because we don't want our kids, we don't want there to be any confusion that our love is based on them winning.
• 15:25
  SPEAKER_01: You know, hey, I'm I'm really proud of you for working really hard.
• 15:27
  SPEAKER_01: Because that's something in their control.
• 15:29
  SPEAKER_01: You know, I'm not proud of you for winning that game.
• 15:32
  SPEAKER_01: Right.
• 15:32
  SPEAKER_01: I'm not um, you know, no, that's great.
• 15:35
  SPEAKER_01: I'm glad you won.
• 15:36
  SPEAKER_01: We are competitive, we like to win uh for sure.
• 15:40
  SPEAKER_01: But hey, I mean, I I love you and I'm proud of you for working really hard today.
• 15:44
  SPEAKER_01: And that's all you can do sometimes.
• 15:46
  SPEAKER_02: And even ask them if you didn't think that they they played really hard, ask them, hey, do you think you played really hard?
• 15:53
  SPEAKER_02: And well, I mean, oh well, where where can you play harder and stuff like that?
• 15:57
  SPEAKER_02: And and I think too, it as a coach, and I know we're dealing a lot with parents, but I think you can translate to this parents like as a coach, I think by asking questions too, you can eliminate some drama.
• 16:09
  SPEAKER_02: Um I I had I had two players one time that starters that I had decided um not to start.
• 16:18
  SPEAKER_02: They were gonna play, but they had done something that you know what you're not gonna start this game.
• 16:22
  SPEAKER_02: Yeah.
• 16:23
  SPEAKER_02: And the one player came in and met with me um for and they were just like, Coach, I'm sorry, they're very apologetic, or that you know, this isn't me, or the other player came in and and wasn't apologetic and was wanted to go, well, I do this and the rest of the team does this.
• 16:41
  SPEAKER_02: And I just kept saying to her, Why are you not starting?
• 16:45
  SPEAKER_02: Well, because I did this, but the players did this this.
• 16:48
  SPEAKER_02: And I said, Why are you not starting?
• 16:50
  SPEAKER_02: Well, because I did this, but the I said, Why are you not starting?
• 16:54
  SPEAKER_02: And I just kept so finally she realized it was going.
• 16:56
  SPEAKER_02: And and I think if I was engaged in those other things when she's trying to compare herself to other teams, that's where the drama happens.
• 17:03
  SPEAKER_02: And I avoided that by one staying on task.
• 17:07
  SPEAKER_02: The only reason you're not starting is because of this, yeah.
• 17:11
  SPEAKER_02: And not get drawn into that the other, the other stuff that he wanted me to get drawn into, yeah.
• 17:18
  SPEAKER_02: Right.
• 17:18
  SPEAKER_02: Yeah.
• 17:19
  SPEAKER_02: And and so I think again, um, I I just think that is an art that I feel um, and I can even use it now as a social athletic director as I'm mentoring these yellow coaches.
• 17:31
  SPEAKER_02: Um, I I ask a lot of questions and not give.
• 17:35
  SPEAKER_02: I could give this how I would have done it.
• 17:37
  SPEAKER_02: Okay, this is what I think you ought to do, but I would ask a lot of questions.
• 17:41
  SPEAKER_01: Because we have opinions.
• 17:41
  SPEAKER_01: We have to I got a thought on it, but I'm curious, hey, how'd you get here?
• 17:47
  SPEAKER_01: Right.
• 17:47
  SPEAKER_01: How'd you get here?
• 17:48
  SPEAKER_01: Yep.
• 17:48
  SPEAKER_01: Uh okay, a couple more, a couple more things.
• 17:50
  SPEAKER_01: Yeah.
• 17:50
  SPEAKER_01: I just said you shared some of this, just kind of pop into my head a little bit.
• 17:54
  SPEAKER_01: But um, you know, I think I guess maybe the question I'd ask at this point is all right, so we've talked conflict in a game.
• 18:02
  SPEAKER_01: We've talked, hey, what about post-game?
• 18:04
  SPEAKER_01: Um, sports can be a lot.
• 18:06
  SPEAKER_01: The sports space in and youth athletics has changed.
• 18:10
  SPEAKER_01: Feels like every three years, you know, there's another league, there's another thing you can do.
• 18:14
  SPEAKER_01: You were a multi-sport athlete, I was a multi-sport athlete.
• 18:18
  SPEAKER_01: Um, you know, any anything you could give us for the parent who's who's juggling that decision of like, hey, should my kid just play this sport year-round?
• 18:28
  SPEAKER_01: I mean, you recruited hundreds of kids.
• 18:32
  SPEAKER_01: Um, anything you could tell us about that decision-making process, just in your opinion, I know there's no silver bullet on this subject, but um I mean, again, I got a nine-year-old and she's doing volleyball.
• 18:44
  SPEAKER_01: And it's like, she can try out for Clint volleyball this fall.
• 18:46
  SPEAKER_01: Do we need to go do that?
• 18:48
  SPEAKER_01: I don't know.
• 18:49
  SPEAKER_01: What would you say to that?
• 18:50
  SPEAKER_02: Yeah, I I um I mean, I've got a lot of opinions on that.
• 18:55
  SPEAKER_02: Yeah, I think where we're heading, um uh let's take a kid that's in high school football right now.
• 19:02
  SPEAKER_02: I've got a nephew that's in high school football, and it's it's yeah.
• 19:05
  SPEAKER_02: I mean, it's seven or seven in the summers where I I liked I thought being a multiple sport athlete, you know, tennis and basketball kind of had the same footwork.
• 19:19
  SPEAKER_02: Um, you know, um, I think they was it Patrick Ewing or Elijuan played soccer, yeah, you know, and and and that made them probably a better basketball player.
• 19:29
  SPEAKER_02: I mean, Elijuan had some of the best footwork for a seven-footer than anybody we've seen.
• 19:35
  SPEAKER_02: Um so I don't like that we've come in so specialized.
• 19:39
  SPEAKER_02: Um, I like the different ethics you know, and there could be an argument made that we're coming so specialized, maybe that's why we're seeing more injuries, is because the kids aren't doing different movements.
• 19:49
  SPEAKER_02: Um so that's an opinion.
• 19:52
  SPEAKER_02: Um I think um uh again, my own experience I wanted to play tennis.
• 20:03
  SPEAKER_02: I wanted to play golf, I wanted to play basketball.
• 20:06
  SPEAKER_02: Um my son was kind of a multi-sport uh also, uh, and we got to that point, especially with basketball, that the travel squads wanted them and and those type of things.
• 20:20
  SPEAKER_02: And and and um I'm part of the issue.
• 20:24
  SPEAKER_02: I'm going to the travel stuff all summer recruiting.
• 20:27
  SPEAKER_02: Yeah.
• 20:27
  SPEAKER_02: So I I sat him down and I said, you know, do you want to play summer ball?
• 20:32
  SPEAKER_02: Do you want to play college basketball?
• 20:36
  SPEAKER_02: And and he said, Dad, I don't want to do summer ball.
• 20:41
  SPEAKER_02: Um, I don't um if I play college, I play college.
• 20:45
  SPEAKER_02: I want to play through high school.
• 20:47
  SPEAKER_02: If it works out, that's great.
• 20:49
  SPEAKER_02: And so I um I said, okay.
• 20:55
  SPEAKER_02: I and I didn't make them do travel ball.
• 20:58
  SPEAKER_02: Um a lot of people, me being a college coach, a lot of people thought I was I was nuts.
• 21:03
  SPEAKER_02: Um didn't mean we didn't work on the game.
• 21:05
  SPEAKER_02: Very true.
• 21:06
  SPEAKER_02: Uh him and I worked on it together.
• 21:08
  SPEAKER_02: Yeah.
• 21:09
  SPEAKER_02: Um and and I would do things.
• 21:11
  SPEAKER_02: We would go, we did an hour, we would do 30 minutes of all skill development, yeah, and then we'd do 30 minutes of fun games.
• 21:19
  SPEAKER_00: Yeah.
• 21:19
  SPEAKER_02: Horse.
• 21:20
  SPEAKER_02: Can you beat me a horse?
• 21:21
  SPEAKER_02: You know, and then and because I, you know, I don't know if you were like this, but I was like this.
• 21:26
  SPEAKER_02: The day I could beat my dad.
• 21:27
  SPEAKER_02: Oh, I remember it.
• 21:28
  SPEAKER_02: Yeah, yeah.
• 21:28
  SPEAKER_02: I remember exactly.
• 21:29
  SPEAKER_02: And so with him, I'm like, okay, let's put horse.
• 21:31
  SPEAKER_02: And you know, he just you could see it the day he wanted to beat me, right?
• 21:35
  SPEAKER_02: And horse, the day he wanted we we do, we do games um uh like that, and and we're we're still working on skill, but it's it's fun and and and competitive.
• 21:46
  SPEAKER_02: Um but but I'd say listen to your kid.
• 21:49
  SPEAKER_02: And there are kids that that want it and and thrive and want to play all these games in the summer, but there's other kids that don't.
• 21:58
  SPEAKER_02: Yeah.
• 21:58
  SPEAKER_02: And and again, you don't Want him to just sit around and and be lazy either.
• 22:03
  SPEAKER_02: Um uh you know, that's a whole nother thing we could get into, but yeah, um uh but I I I I think making your kids and you know, I mean, I think it's a shame.
• 22:14
  SPEAKER_02: I I would my wife and I made the decision if Breck had said we were gonna do that.
• 22:19
  SPEAKER_02: Um personally, this is a personal decision.
• 22:22
  SPEAKER_02: I'm not saying everybody has to do this, but um whoever his coach was, we weren't gonna miss church on Sunday.
• 22:28
  SPEAKER_02: Yeah.
• 22:28
  SPEAKER_02: And then so it's alright, if you're playing, uh I mean, and then and and my son knew that.
• 22:35
  SPEAKER_02: We were like, if we were gonna do this, it's not affecting our our church, yeah.
• 22:40
  SPEAKER_02: Um, or or things like that, or or even even some uh some family time.
• 22:46
  SPEAKER_02: Um uh and so um, you know, and if he said, I do want to play, we would have we would have done it, yeah.
• 22:53
  SPEAKER_02: And and um and those type of things, and and he he didn't, so we didn't make them.
• 22:58
  SPEAKER_02: I so I do think there's there's and there's a fine line too, you because you don't want a kid just sitting around playing on his phone all summer either.
• 23:06
  SPEAKER_02: You want to be active, but you can still do that.
• 23:08
  SPEAKER_02: And we still did that with him.
• 23:10
  SPEAKER_02: Like I said, we we went and worked out and yeah, and but he was also he wanted he loved golf, he wanted to play golf, he he wanted to um uh play basketball.
• 23:20
  SPEAKER_02: Um, he uh he also wanted to work at New Life Ranch during the summer, right?
• 23:25
  SPEAKER_02: And so we went to New Life Ranch and he was uh a hunter, he wanted to hunt, yeah.
• 23:30
  SPEAKER_02: Um, you know, and so we we allowed him to do uh those things and it and it didn't, and and it's getting harder because sure it even at the it's not just club, the high school is you know, uh I remember talking to a high school coach one time saying, Coach, we won the Mississippi State team camp, and we should see how we were playing.
• 23:50
  SPEAKER_02: And I looked at him and I said, Who cares?
• 23:51
  SPEAKER_02: Nobody cares for now is now the center in team.
• 23:54
  SPEAKER_02: It's whether you're not winning in February right there, right?
• 23:57
  SPEAKER_02: And you want to be peaking.
• 23:58
  SPEAKER_02: What if you're peaking now in July?
• 24:00
  SPEAKER_02: Yeah, when you should be peaking, and you know, between team camps, between you know, football is they've got the seven on sevens, they've got everything where you don't have that, and and I think I think it causes more injuries.
• 24:14
  SPEAKER_02: I think so, so it's it's not just to blame it on the clubs, the high schools are going that way too.
• 24:21
  SPEAKER_02: And and and so it's it's a it's a thing.
• 24:24
  SPEAKER_02: I think leagues like you guys do are good and and everything, but it it can become too much at times.
• 24:30
  SPEAKER_01: Yeah, it's somewhere, somewhere, somehow, I think the the can of worms is opened and just the youth sports space altogether.
• 24:40
  SPEAKER_01: I don't think any entity is responsible for it necessarily.
• 24:44
  SPEAKER_01: But now, I mean, you you've had go year-round in nearly everything.
• 24:48
  SPEAKER_01: And, you know, as Mary and I just have these conversations as our kids are younger, you know, we don't want our kids to miss out.
• 24:55
  SPEAKER_01: But we're also like, hey, we both work, we have capacity to take our kids to one sport a season.
• 25:02
  SPEAKER_01: I mean, I definitely don't definitely can't do three a season, you know, and and we just see that time coming though, where it's like, okay, how do we navigate this?
• 25:12
  SPEAKER_01: And I I really love what you said there, do something, you know, whether it's hey, you know, we're not really a soccer household, but we're just gonna run around in the backyard and kick a soccer ball around and we're just gonna stay active and we're gonna work on our footwork in fun ways like that, or hey, let's just go play pig.
• 25:28
  SPEAKER_01: You know, we'll go do that.
• 25:29
  SPEAKER_01: And hey, just those even the opportunities that are gonna pop up in that sort of thing, you know.
• 25:34
  SPEAKER_01: And um, I think that's intentionality.
• 25:37
  SPEAKER_01: And I maybe what I'd say, in my broken opinion, if you're not going to maybe if you're not gonna play year-round, I think you just have to be more intentional in other spaces you're in.
• 25:47
  SPEAKER_01: Right.
• 25:47
  SPEAKER_01: And that may be in the weight room.
• 25:49
  SPEAKER_01: That may be, hey, you're gonna just go run track this spring.
• 25:52
  SPEAKER_01: Yeah, you know, and and that's okay.
• 25:53
  SPEAKER_01: Yeah, I think you can get there wherever you're trying to head in a multitude of routes.
• 25:58
  SPEAKER_01: But I think you just intentionality is what our hypothesis is.
• 26:02
  SPEAKER_01: Yeah.
• 26:02
  SPEAKER_01: You come ask me about 10 years, I'll let you know how that's going forward.
• 26:06
  SPEAKER_01: All right.
• 26:06
  SPEAKER_01: Hey, my last question to wrap out our time.
• 26:08
  SPEAKER_01: I've really enjoyed everything we've said.
• 26:10
  SPEAKER_01: Um, you have the opportunity uh to sit down with every parent of a 13-year-old in America.
• 26:17
  SPEAKER_01: What's your message to them?
• 26:18
  SPEAKER_01: What would you say to them?
• 26:19
  SPEAKER_01: Um, and 13-year-old athlete, by the way, not just 13-year-old, but uh what would you say?
• 26:25
  SPEAKER_01: I'd say be a fan.
• 26:27
  SPEAKER_02: Uh just just enjoy the the opportunities that they have and and not make it so so stressful and so it's not gonna go perfect.
• 26:40
  SPEAKER_02: Yeah, you're you're you're not gonna get the right scorekeeper, you're not gonna get the right ref, you're not sometimes gonna get the right coach, you're not gonna get the right playing time.
• 26:49
  SPEAKER_02: You're just and so so enjoy it, be a fan.
• 26:54
  SPEAKER_02: And as you said and I've said, athletics, that's why I chose it as my profession, is I could impact lives through athletics because the the the hard and the up and down.
• 27:06
  SPEAKER_02: If athletes, I would tell my players this all the time if college basketball was easy, everybody'd be doing it, right?
• 27:12
  SPEAKER_02: Yeah, but it's not, and it takes a special person, say a special team to go 29 and 4, 22 and 0 in the office, right?
• 27:21
  SPEAKER_02: And if it was that easy, everybody'd be doing it, but it's not.
• 27:24
  SPEAKER_02: And so as a parent, um enjoy it.
• 27:28
  SPEAKER_02: I um always would tell my I had a parents meeting every um first weekend of school, and they had to come um with all my new parents.
• 27:38
  SPEAKER_02: Um, and and and I would just say, um, this is an opportunity for you.
• 27:44
  SPEAKER_02: Enjoy it.
• 27:45
  SPEAKER_02: And and and and be be part of that team.
• 27:48
  SPEAKER_02: And we we would have parents that we'd have an international player that's family wasn't there, we'd have parents that take them in and bring them home for Thanksgiving and and stuff like that.
• 27:57
  SPEAKER_02: And and and be a part of the the the team and encourage the other team members and and and but yeah, I I just think be a fan of and enjoy, don't have it be a be a rub between you guys.
• 28:13
  SPEAKER_02: Um ask questions.
• 28:16
  SPEAKER_02: Yeah, just I I just cannot emphasize that enough.
• 28:19
  SPEAKER_02: If I've learned that in my life, it it's it's as a coach, as a my own parenting my own kids to to um my wife 33 years, ask questions and not just we we so are quick for me to to I want to tell you my opinion.
• 28:39
  SPEAKER_02: Uh Josh, I want you to know what I know instead of asking you know you questions and and somehow getting there.
• 28:47
  SPEAKER_02: So I don't know if that's worth, but uh but that's what I said.
• 28:51
  SPEAKER_01: Yeah, I love that.
• 28:52
  SPEAKER_01: I think it's wonderful.
• 28:53
  SPEAKER_01: And um, I know I've been encouraged by our time together.
• 28:56
  SPEAKER_01: Um, I'm confident, hopefully many others will as well.
• 29:00
  SPEAKER_01: Uh but thank you for being with us.
• 29:02
  SPEAKER_01: Well, thank you for asking me.
• 29:03
  SPEAKER_01: Our inaugural episodes here.
• 29:05
  SPEAKER_01: We could be making history, Jeff, right here in Rogers, Arkansas.
• 29:09
  SPEAKER_01: But uh, I'm thankful for your impact uh on countless lives.
• 29:14
  SPEAKER_01: And I'm I'm just thankful for your friendship.
• 29:16
  SPEAKER_01: So thank you for being with us today.
• 29:17
  SPEAKER_01: Well, thanks.
• 29:17
  SPEAKER_01: Yeah, absolutely.
• 29:18
  SPEAKER_01: Listen to the audience, thank you for joining us.
• 29:20
  SPEAKER_01: Uh hey, if you want more information on AO, uh feel free to head over to our website at aoteam.org.
• 29:27
  SPEAKER_01: Uh there you can check out clubs, leagues, uh, tournaments, anything that you possibly want that we're up to.
• 29:33
  SPEAKER_01: Uh stay tuned for the next episode.
• 29:35
  SPEAKER_01: Thanks.
• 29:36
  SPEAKER_01: That wraps up our episode today.
• 29:37
  SPEAKER_01: If you like what you heard and you want to stay tuned, and you want to help us in our mission, we would love if you'd like, subscribe, and follow along as we're on this mission to build champions for life through the transformational power of sport.