Latest / Good Morning From The Chicken Coop! / Season 2 - Episode 198 - Providing negative feedback

Transcript

Season 2 - Episode 198 - Providing negative feedback · Good Morning From The Chicken Coop!

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  Welcome to the Good Morning From the Chicken Coop Podcast with
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  Kim Johnson, your creative strategist and master mindset
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  coach. Filled with inspiration,
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  distinctions, perspectives, and possibilities, we help you to
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  cultivate a mindset that leads you to create the best version
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  of yourself you could ever imagine.
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  Join Kim every morning from one of her favorite happy places,
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  her chicken coop, along with all her chickens.
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  Hey everybody, good morning from the chicken coop.
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  So today we are talking about giving negative feedback and one
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  of the interesting things about. Giving negative feedback is most
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  of us don't like to do it. We try to find ways to soften
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  it. We try to find ways to dance
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  around it. We try to find things that are
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  easier for us than actually giving.
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  The straightforward feedback are the facts that we see to be
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  true. And in the process of this, it
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  is never an easy task to take it on and say okay, I'm going to do
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  this. Like this is a real life
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  situation for me right now where I am in the position of giving
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  some feedback I need to give. Give feedback, let me put it
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  that way. And I have been dragging my feet
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  and this is to somebody who I hired to help me with something
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  and it just, it just didn't go the way I thought it was going
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  to go and so. I have to give this feedback and
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  it's easier for me because I will say, you know, you know, I
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  want to stay away from confrontation.
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  I practiced, you know, very deep spirituality, many Buddhist
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  traits, and I feel like I have to constantly be alignment with
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  that, which means you don't always jump into the arguments,
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  you know that. And that was something that I
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  used to do early on in my life. And now I try to stay away from
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  that. So one of the big things for me
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  that's such a difficult task to do is to be able to say, hey,
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  I'm going to stop, I'm going to pause and I'm not going to do
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  this. I'm not going to give negative
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  feedback in a way that has no, you know, end result.
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  So I shy away from it. So this situation comes up and
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  I'm, I feel very justified in giving some negative feedback,
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  but. I, you know, avoid it.
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  So I sat down and I was asking my husband, I said, what would
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  you do in this situation? And being the very masculine guy
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  he is, he said I would just lay it all out in an e-mail and I
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  would say down each of the things that I felt were out of
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  alignment. And then I would move on.
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  And I was like, interesting because the way he explained it,
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  it was so straightforward. And in my head I was saying, you
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  know, I thought it was this and and I was.
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  Softening everything. And he's like just the facts.
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  Just give the facts. This was what was said.
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  This is what happened. This is what was said.
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  This is what happened. So, you know, ultimately I have
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  a choice to make whether I'm going to do this.
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  And ultimately I still have not decided.
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  But I I'm bringing this up to all of you because I want you
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  all to know this is a thing. This is a real thing.
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  And. We all go through this.
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  We all have this, this stuff that happens in our lives where
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  we have to provide feedback, whether it's positive or
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  negative. We have an opportunity to
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  provide feedback. And the real question comes down
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  to how do you engage in it? Do you avoid it?
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  Do you contemplate it? Do you say to yourself, well the
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  way I'm doing it right now is I'm, I'm going to just soften it
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  up. I'm, I'm going to give it
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  straightforward but understanding how you
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  communicate is such an. Important piece of the puzzle
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  and I know for me, I am not like at the a point in my life where
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  I like to give tons of negative feedback.
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  It just doesn't happen for me. So this is this is a time where
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  it's a real stretch to get out there and say it.
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  But as you grow in your life and you grow in yourself, it's very
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  important to realize that just because it's negative doesn't
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  mean it has to be a bad thing for them to hear.
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  It doesn't mean it has to be something for them that is, you
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  know, a a detriment to them. Maybe it's the growth they need.
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  Maybe it's the thing that they need to hear so that they can
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  change. Whatever it is, it's causing
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  these things to show up, the problems to show up.
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  So it's our job as the people that have had the experience.
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  That's not exactly what we thought it was going to be, to
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  make decisions about how we're going to handle it and what
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  we're going to do. So first and foremost, it is
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  incredibly important just to recognize.
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  You have the power to be able to stop and pause and say, you know
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  what, I I can do this and I can do a good job with it.
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  And I don't have to, you know, be a witch about doing it.
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  I can be very pragmatic and I can be very truthful and I can
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  move forward and feel good about cleansing it.
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  Off my plate and you know, ultimately that's what I'm going
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  to do and I'm going to put together something that does
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  give the feedback. But for the most important part
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  of this part of our conversation, look and see how
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  you do it. So you know, even if you're not
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  in a situation like this, you want to know it.
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  So how when it comes up, you're prepared to offer it.
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  All right, my friends, I hope you have a blessed day as I go
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  out there and work through providing them with feedback
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  that will help them get themselves to a different place.
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  And if they don't use it, I'm totally detached from it.
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  So I hope you have a blessed day and I will see you tomorrow.
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  Bye.