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Dirty Little Secret: What do you do when the person you love becomes your biggest trigger? · Billy The Kidd In The Morning

• 0:00
  Speaker 1: Get it off your chest to promise you'll feel better.
• 0:03
  Speaker 2: Welcome to the Dirty Little Secret.
• 0:04
  Speaker 1: On the new Mix one of two point nine.
• 0:06
  Speaker 3: Good morning Billy, the kid can of slow pads and
• 0:08
  Speaker 3: producer poo and that didn't take long.
• 0:09
  Speaker 1: Poo already heat it up that cinnamon raisin bread and
• 0:12
  Speaker 1: smells good.
• 0:12
  Speaker 3: But I brought from Oh it smells so good. Did
• 0:14
  Speaker 3: you put anything on it? No, you don't have butter anything.
• 0:18
  Speaker 1: We have nothing up here. Butter would go so hard.
• 0:20
  Speaker 3: I will have almond butter, but I eat out of
• 0:22
  Speaker 3: it with the spoon, so it's not really shareable.
• 0:25
  Speaker 1: We don't care. Yeah, I don't care. Bad boy, Tay's good.
• 0:29
  Speaker 1: You have almond butter here? Yeah? Random, of course she
• 0:32
  Speaker 1: has almond butter, and you canes. I always have it
• 0:34
  Speaker 1: with my banana in the morning. Is that a dirty
• 0:36
  Speaker 1: little secret? Sure?
• 0:38
  Speaker 3: If you have one eight three three seven eight seven
• 0:41
  Speaker 3: one o two nine. No matter what that secret is,
• 0:43
  Speaker 3: it's a non judgment zone. Tell us what's going on
• 0:46
  Speaker 3: in your life. Or you can hit me up at
• 0:47
  Speaker 3: Billy on the radio on Instagram and we can set
• 0:50
  Speaker 3: it up that way.
• 0:50
  Speaker 1: You shoot me a DM. So you have one, So
• 0:52
  Speaker 1: what's up?
• 0:53
  Speaker 2: Well?
• 0:55
  Speaker 1: Straight up.
• 0:56
  Speaker 2: I'm an alcoholic. You know, I can that. I'm not
• 1:00
  Speaker 2: proud of it. It's just who I am and something
• 1:04
  Speaker 2: I struggle with, you know.
• 1:05
  Speaker 1: Yeah, Okay, I mean that's good that you.
• 1:07
  Speaker 3: I mean, it's good that you. Yeah, do you admit
• 1:09
  Speaker 3: it and your your you're dealing. I think that's the
• 1:11
  Speaker 3: first step. I don't know, at least that's what I've heard,
• 1:13
  Speaker 3: you know.
• 1:13
  Speaker 2: Yeah, yeah, well, I mean, and honestly, that's that's the
• 1:16
  Speaker 2: only really part of the secret, Like the real secret
• 1:19
  Speaker 2: is honestly, I drink because of my wife, you know. Yeah,
• 1:25
  Speaker 2: I mean, I know that sounds like a cop out,
• 1:27
  Speaker 2: like I'm blaming her, like I'm putting it on her.
• 1:29
  Speaker 2: But I have legitimately stopped drinking for years. I get
• 1:33
  Speaker 2: married for five years now and start drinking again.
• 1:36
  Speaker 3: Okay, hold on, Yeah, so you're saying, how many questions.
• 1:40
  Speaker 1: You started drinking again because of your.
• 1:42
  Speaker 2: Wife because she drinks her No, she doesn't drink at all.
• 1:46
  Speaker 2: But I just can't deal with her, her anxiety, her struggles,
• 1:50
  Speaker 2: how negative she is. It's just with her, it's one
• 1:53
  Speaker 2: thing after another all the time.
• 1:55
  Speaker 1: Okay, I'm not a therapist.
• 1:59
  Speaker 3: I'm not a professional, but I don't know if this
• 2:01
  Speaker 3: is to blame her for something you're dealing with and
• 2:06
  Speaker 3: that you struggle with, that you obviously struggle with before
• 2:09
  Speaker 3: her doesn't seem fair initially, but it's the anxiety and
• 2:14
  Speaker 3: the stress of a relationship makes you want to drink.
• 2:16
  Speaker 1: I don't know if it's necessarily her, right, unless she's
• 2:20
  Speaker 1: having the same struggle with you.
• 2:21
  Speaker 2: Well, I mean crazy enough. About a year and a
• 2:24
  Speaker 2: half into our marriage, we separated, right and I lived
• 2:28
  Speaker 2: with my brother for a few months, and I stopped drinking.
• 2:32
  Speaker 2: I moved back into the house, tried to work on
• 2:35
  Speaker 2: things with the wife, and in a matter of a month,
• 2:38
  Speaker 2: I was drinking again.
• 2:40
  Speaker 3: Wow, okay, I mean God, the first thing I think
• 2:43
  Speaker 3: of is like, then get away, right. I hate to
• 2:46
  Speaker 3: say that, but yeah, you obviously have a problem that
• 2:49
  Speaker 3: you know is a problem. You're around her and you drink,
• 2:52
  Speaker 3: and I'm not even blaming her. It seems like you're
• 2:54
  Speaker 3: blaming her, but right off, Yeah, the energy's off and
• 2:58
  Speaker 3: something's not right here. I mean, obviously if you separated
• 3:01
  Speaker 3: and you went back and then started drinking again, So
• 3:03
  Speaker 3: when you're not around your wife or not in that relationship,
• 3:07
  Speaker 3: you feel like you don't need to drink.
• 3:09
  Speaker 2: Yeah, that's that's what I'm saying. But you know, I
• 3:11
  Speaker 2: feel I feel awful saying that because I love my wife,
• 3:14
  Speaker 2: I really do. But what do you do when your
• 3:17
  Speaker 2: wife is your trigger? You know, you say, maybe get
• 3:19
  Speaker 2: away from the relationship, but like, I don't want to
• 3:22
  Speaker 2: leave her.
• 3:23
  Speaker 1: Have you talked to her about it?
• 3:25
  Speaker 2: I have. I've tried to explain to her how her
• 3:28
  Speaker 2: attitude affects me, but you know, I've never come out
• 3:31
  Speaker 2: and directly said, you know, oh, you make me drink.
• 3:34
  Speaker 2: You know, I don't know what to do. I definitely
• 3:36
  Speaker 2: don't say that. Yeah, well, like I said, and she
• 3:40
  Speaker 2: doesn't drink at all, but it's just food and her negativity.
• 3:43
  Speaker 1: It's just as.
• 3:44
  Speaker 2: Bad, you know. And and also you know, I encourage
• 3:47
  Speaker 2: her to to kind of get help for the things
• 3:50
  Speaker 2: she struggled with. But you won't go see anyone or
• 3:52
  Speaker 2: even try to get any help.
• 3:53
  Speaker 1: She won't.
• 3:54
  Speaker 2: Okay, you thought about getting help for you on how
• 3:57
  Speaker 2: you handle her or your home. Well, I mean I've
• 4:02
  Speaker 2: thought out helpful my drinking time to time. To be honest,
• 4:05
  Speaker 2: I mean, I'm what you would call a functioning alcoholic.
• 4:09
  Speaker 2: You know, I have a job of work. I do
• 4:10
  Speaker 2: everything that I need to do.
• 4:13
  Speaker 3: Is there a way maybe you two could go together?
• 4:14
  Speaker 3: But she's not interested and I don't want to. I'm
• 4:16
  Speaker 3: not condoning blaming your wife or anything. But when you
• 4:19
  Speaker 3: say that you know she's negative and it's constant, it
• 4:22
  Speaker 3: triggers you. I do know people like that where Yeah,
• 4:26
  Speaker 3: you know, when you're around someone so negative all the time,
• 4:29
  Speaker 3: it does start to affect your mood.
• 4:31
  Speaker 1: Yeah.
• 4:32
  Speaker 3: But it's sad though, because at the same time, usually
• 4:34
  Speaker 3: there's a reason and a source why that person is negative.
• 4:38
  Speaker 3: They're dealing with something that maybe they can't come to
• 4:41
  Speaker 3: terms with, or they don't even know why they're negative,
• 4:43
  Speaker 3: but it's something usually on there and mental health wise
• 4:45
  Speaker 3: that they need help with.
• 4:47
  Speaker 2: Yeah, I honestly don't know what to do.
• 4:51
  Speaker 1: Yeah, And anxiety's tricky too, because sometimes you don't know what's.
• 4:54
  Speaker 3: Causing it, Like are you drinking right now? Like it's
• 4:57
  Speaker 3: this time of the day, are you drinking now?
• 5:00
  Speaker 1: You know?
• 5:00
  Speaker 2: I do start with a little bit of an eye opener. Yeah.
• 5:04
  Speaker 3: Wow, Yeah, it sounds like you're just surviving in your
• 5:07
  Speaker 3: own house.
• 5:09
  Speaker 1: Yeah, that's not good, no way to live.
• 5:11
  Speaker 3: You too, need to see someone and get some help together.
• 5:13
  Speaker 3: And I'm not saying it's all your fault or it's
• 5:16
  Speaker 3: all her fault, but if you want to make this work,
• 5:19
  Speaker 3: someone's gonna have to step in and there's gonna have
• 5:21
  Speaker 3: to be some professional help on a different level. And
• 5:24
  Speaker 3: I hope it works out for you too, But maybe
• 5:26
  Speaker 3: try to talk to her about that, Hey, will you
• 5:28
  Speaker 3: go see somebody with me? Instead of saying you need
• 5:31
  Speaker 3: to go get help, can we go get help?
• 5:34
  Speaker 2: You know, that's actually, you know, not the worst idea.
• 5:38
  Speaker 2: I think I'd probably say something like, you know, I
• 5:42
  Speaker 2: want to get help and I need her support to
• 5:44
  Speaker 2: be there, and then maybe inherently we go together. Yeah,
• 5:48
  Speaker 2: you know, I can see that working.
• 5:50
  Speaker 3: Because that'll empower that will empower her to feel like
• 5:52
  Speaker 3: she's not only helping you, but she's helping herself.
• 5:55
  Speaker 1: And so we also don't know how she sees her situation.
• 5:59
  Speaker 3: Yeah, Like it's you never know on the other side
• 6:01
  Speaker 3: of this, how she's viewing this, and maybe she's coping
• 6:04
  Speaker 3: with things that you don't even know she's dealing with.
• 6:06
  Speaker 1: So either way, good luck.
• 6:08
  Speaker 3: I'm sending you to my best I think you need it,
• 6:10
  Speaker 3: and I you know, obviously I could tell you a
• 6:12
  Speaker 3: million times not to drink, but I think that obviously
• 6:16
  Speaker 3: you know you have an issue, and I hope you
• 6:18
  Speaker 3: get help for it and it works out for you.
• 6:19
  Speaker 1: Okay, Yeah, thank you.
• 6:21
  Speaker 2: Yeah, you're right, because I can't keep living like this
• 6:23
  Speaker 2: no more.
• 6:24
  Speaker 3: Well, good luck, thank you. Yes, what do you do
• 6:28
  Speaker 3: when someone is your trigger?
• 6:30
  Speaker 1: Yeah,