Latest / Alive, I Guess Podcast / Episode 23 - The Glow Up Be Happenin

Transcript

Episode 23 - The Glow Up Be Happenin · Alive, I Guess Podcast

0:00
unknown: I live like it.
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unknown: I'm a live like it.
0:03
SPEAKER_00: I'm gonna live like this in the live like it's I'm gonna live like it.
0:16
SPEAKER_00: What's good, yo?
0:17
SPEAKER_00: Welcome to your safe space.
0:19
SPEAKER_00: I'm your host, RJ, and this is the Alive I Guess Podcast.
0:23
SPEAKER_00: If you're new here, welcome.
0:25
SPEAKER_00: I appreciate you for joining.
0:27
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0:30
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0:32
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1:07
SPEAKER_00: Today we are going to be discussing the glow up.
1:11
SPEAKER_00: Now, I feel like honestly, I've been in this phase of glowing up for about six years, six plus years at this point.
1:21
SPEAKER_00: And I discovered that glowing up is a lot more than just what's on the outside.
1:27
SPEAKER_00: You gotta do the internal work before you can even start to see the external glow up.
1:32
SPEAKER_00: But we're gonna get to that in a second.
1:34
SPEAKER_00: Cause before we do, you already know we gotta do a little gratitude.
1:38
SPEAKER_00: So if you are listening today, say something out loud to yourself that you are grateful for.
1:43
SPEAKER_00: And if you are watching, drop something below in the comments.
1:47
SPEAKER_00: Today, I am grateful for feeling seen.
1:52
SPEAKER_00: I spent a lot of time feeling like I had to shrink myself, hide myself because I didn't want to be an issue or be perceived or judged.
2:02
SPEAKER_00: But once I started to fall in love with myself and people started to see me for my true version, I appreciate being seen and feeling seen, because not everybody gets the opportunity to do so.
2:18
SPEAKER_00: So thank you to those of you who see me.
2:21
SPEAKER_00: But alright, let's dive in.
2:24
SPEAKER_00: Cause the glow up be happening.
2:26
SPEAKER_00: So the way I've come to understand my very own glow-up is the parts that you see on the outside are at the tail end of what work you did on the inside.
2:40
SPEAKER_00: I say I started my glow up about six years ago because that's when I started to get sober.
2:45
SPEAKER_00: And that's when I started going to therapy.
2:48
SPEAKER_00: So if I didn't go through all those steps, there's no way that would have translated and grew into me getting my body together, working on my nutrition.
2:58
SPEAKER_00: Like I had to get myself right internally before any of that could show on the outside.
3:04
SPEAKER_00: Because when I was down bad, it was showing on the outside.
3:09
SPEAKER_00: I looked like I was not doing well.
3:12
SPEAKER_00: I wasn't doing well.
3:13
SPEAKER_00: And it showed.
3:14
SPEAKER_00: So before I could even glow to the world, I had to start glowing inside.
3:20
SPEAKER_00: And I feel like that's really what the glow up is about.
3:23
SPEAKER_00: Like it's not even what it looks like to the rest of the world, like the external factors, the rewards of all the work that you put in.
3:33
SPEAKER_00: It's really the work that you put in.
3:34
SPEAKER_00: It's the small decisions that you make to get you into a better position and place and mindset in life, in my opinion.
3:43
SPEAKER_00: It was the work that you were putting in when nobody was watching, when it wasn't showing on the outside, when you were going through the internal battles and the unlearning and relearning and testing things out and applying things that you've learned.
4:00
SPEAKER_00: Like it was all those different aspects of the work that helped contribute to the external wins that people usually tend to celebrate.
4:09
SPEAKER_00: Like culturally on IG, on social media, the glow up is like the new body, the new face, people losing hella weight, doing something to their hair, leveling up with a new house or a new car, which is great, but that just don't fall in your lap.
4:27
SPEAKER_00: Like you don't just wake up 30 pounds down one day in shape.
4:31
SPEAKER_00: Like you have to really put in the work to get any of these things.
4:36
SPEAKER_00: And before you can even decide to put in the work, you have to go through a mental shift.
4:41
SPEAKER_00: And I feel like honestly, all of my 20s was just a crash course on adulting.
4:49
SPEAKER_00: Like, I don't consider myself an adult until I got to at least 29, 30.
4:56
SPEAKER_00: Like the 20s was just a struggle, a struggle.
5:01
SPEAKER_00: It was where the like seeds were planted of awareness that I wanted different for my life.
5:09
SPEAKER_00: But it took me going through the worst depression I've had leading up to my 30s.
5:16
SPEAKER_00: I turned 30 and I'm like, you know what?
5:19
SPEAKER_00: I want more for my life.
5:21
SPEAKER_00: There was one day, me and my wife, we were chilling, and we were like, we're gonna do some yoga today.
5:27
SPEAKER_00: And we went and sat on the couch and we just started talking, and we had this realization of how much we started to limit ourselves and live as if we're still in COVID and not moving through life as if we have choice and we can go do things.
5:45
SPEAKER_00: And you're like, you know what?
5:47
SPEAKER_00: Let's go, let's go out.
5:49
SPEAKER_00: And that day we had a ball, I got a piercing, we went shopping and just walking around.
5:56
SPEAKER_00: And that day in particular was like the day it kind of like switched for me that I wanted more in my life, and that was maybe like two years ago at this point, two, three years ago.
6:10
SPEAKER_00: And that really started this journey of the glow-up.
6:16
SPEAKER_00: So, yeah, I was in therapy um since I was 24, and that was just building the awareness, I feel like uncovering what it was I was going through, uncovering some of the triggers and mental health issues and different areas of life that I needed to work on.
6:37
SPEAKER_00: And all through my 20s, I'm working on them.
6:40
SPEAKER_00: I'm getting sober, I'm applying these new skills, I'm working through traumas, I'm working through depression, I'm working through everything that's coming up throughout this journey.
6:52
SPEAKER_00: And it wasn't until like a few years ago when the awareness is there, and I'm starting to do something about it.
7:00
SPEAKER_00: So 30 hits, I'm like, you know what?
7:05
SPEAKER_00: I'm deciding I'm going to keep on living.
7:08
SPEAKER_00: So what does that look like?
7:10
SPEAKER_00: Well, I do not like how I feel in my body.
7:14
SPEAKER_00: Now coming out of 30, it was the most that I weighed in my life.
7:25
SPEAKER_00: And that was truly like a representation of how I felt about my life.
7:34
SPEAKER_00: I wasn't fueling my body properly.
7:36
SPEAKER_00: I was ingesting just toxic food and drink.
7:42
SPEAKER_00: I was consuming a lot of junk.
7:44
SPEAKER_00: I wasn't moving my body.
7:47
SPEAKER_00: I wasn't properly taking care of myself.
7:49
SPEAKER_00: I was putting a lot of like negative content in my brain and taking that in every day.
7:56
SPEAKER_00: I wasn't getting outside at all.
7:59
SPEAKER_00: I was always in the house.
8:00
SPEAKER_00: I was isolating myself, and I was hating what I saw in the mirror until that day came and I realized I wanted more.
8:11
SPEAKER_00: And so I started to implement the changes.
8:14
SPEAKER_00: And that's where the real glow-up starts.
8:17
SPEAKER_00: Like I knew I didn't want to become someone new.
8:21
SPEAKER_00: I wanted to become the true version of myself that I knew was in there, but was just so layered by trauma, depression, negative thoughts, negative consequences of my actions, both physically and mentally.
8:39
SPEAKER_00: And I knew it was gonna take a lot of work to get there.
8:42
SPEAKER_00: And although I'm not all the way there, I'm a lot further than I was.
8:46
SPEAKER_00: But that seed of wanting to glow up had to be planted during the dark times.
8:53
SPEAKER_00: Not when shit is good, like it comes from being down and wanting more and feeling like if I don't change, something's going to happen in a negative way.
9:06
SPEAKER_00: And that's what I was up against.
9:08
SPEAKER_00: And so I was like, look, we only have something to gain from this point.
9:13
SPEAKER_00: Like, there's nothing worse than this.
9:16
SPEAKER_00: And so we gotta do the work mentally, spiritually, emotionally, physically.
9:22
SPEAKER_00: And so we did.
9:23
SPEAKER_00: Before I could even want to glow up, I had to understand what I was growing out of.
9:31
SPEAKER_00: Like what needed to change?
9:33
SPEAKER_00: The way in which I spoke to myself and about myself.
9:39
SPEAKER_00: If anybody else would have spoken about me in that way, we would have fought.
9:44
SPEAKER_00: So that was the first thing that needed to change.
9:47
SPEAKER_00: Like, I was not treating myself kindly.
9:50
SPEAKER_00: I was so critical of how I looked, which made me think critically about my skill set, my abilities, my knowledge, and just how valuable I am.
10:04
SPEAKER_00: Like I didn't love myself at all.
10:07
SPEAKER_00: And I thought I did.
10:09
SPEAKER_00: I had convinced myself that I did, but that was just rooted in the things I was able to do for other people, circling back to that codependency.
10:19
SPEAKER_00: But 30 was essentially me overweight, overworked, overwhelmed, and reaching the point where it's like, I want more.
10:30
SPEAKER_00: I don't know how we're gonna get there.
10:31
SPEAKER_00: It feels like such an impossible mountain to climb, but I know I don't want to be like this forever.
10:38
SPEAKER_00: I can't survive being like this forever.
10:41
SPEAKER_00: And although I was functioning, I was still depleted as hell.
10:46
SPEAKER_00: I had to literally go on leave from work because I was so depressed.
10:50
SPEAKER_00: Like I was not properly like functioning at full capacity, but even though I was still sustaining, you can function and be depleted, it doesn't mean you're okay.
11:02
SPEAKER_00: And when I recognized I wasn't okay and I did the work to help me get at least out of the red, I'm like, damn, like this is a cycle, and I know it's rooted in something, so it's time for me to start doing the work with some of these things.
11:19
SPEAKER_00: And so 30, um, that's when I first started losing weight.
11:24
SPEAKER_00: That's when I started really diving into some topics with work.
11:30
SPEAKER_00: That's when I started looking for a new job.
11:33
SPEAKER_00: Like, that's when I started making some changes to start to get more clarity and at least further away from the negative space that I just left.
11:44
SPEAKER_00: I knew when I hit 30, I was not trying to have a 20s 2.0.
11:48
SPEAKER_00: I always heard your 30s are like the decade where you thrive and you glow up.
11:54
SPEAKER_00: So I'm like, bro, I'm ready.
11:56
SPEAKER_00: I'm ready for this because your 20s are ghetto.
11:59
SPEAKER_00: And I couldn't wait to be up out of there.
12:01
SPEAKER_00: Most people get scared of aging.
12:03
SPEAKER_00: I used to kind of get like apprehensive every time I turned a new year towards the end of my 20s.
12:09
SPEAKER_00: But once I turned 29, I was like, bro, I cannot wait to be out of here.
12:13
SPEAKER_00: Get me to my 30s.
12:15
SPEAKER_00: So once 30 was here, once I was in a place where I could start to think a little bit clearer, I'm like, all right, we we got some work to do, bro, because this is absolutely insane.
12:26
SPEAKER_00: So yeah, I started losing a little bit of weight, but I wasn't implementing the practices fully.
12:33
SPEAKER_00: Like I was doing good and spurts, but like I wasn't fully committed to the process.
12:39
SPEAKER_00: I it didn't fully resonate that I really wanted more and that I was deserving of more for myself.
12:48
SPEAKER_00: I was doing it honestly because I didn't want to be perceived as a certain way.
12:55
SPEAKER_00: It wasn't even for myself, it was for what I thought other people would think.
13:00
SPEAKER_00: And it wasn't until I started doing it for me that it was actually sticking.
13:06
SPEAKER_00: But that was still fundamental in starting this process.
13:10
SPEAKER_00: So planted that seed, decided like I want more for myself, got into some therapy, lost a bit a little bit of weight, cut my hair, because that was a big journey of mine.
13:26
SPEAKER_00: Like I really started making some serious changes that were happening on the outside.
13:34
SPEAKER_00: Like, I needed to do things on the outside in order for them to start to change how I felt on the inside.
13:39
SPEAKER_00: Cutting my hair was very significant to me because I've always had long hair my entire life.
13:47
SPEAKER_00: Like, every time people saw me, the first thing they saw was my hair.
13:51
SPEAKER_00: Like, even with custody stuff between my parents, like a big issue between them was like my hair, which is another story.
14:01
SPEAKER_00: But like I had this negative attachment to my hair because I felt like people only saw me for that.
14:10
SPEAKER_00: And so at the time I had locks, which I love my locks, truly.
14:15
SPEAKER_00: My locks were grown during a time of a lot of turmoil and hardships, and I felt like it was just time for me to do something different.
14:26
SPEAKER_00: Originally, I was going to comb my locks out, but after 12 hours and only getting one uh combed out, I said, oh no, we're gonna have to chop him off.
14:37
SPEAKER_00: Um, and I sat with it for a little bit and I'm like, I'm gonna do this.
14:41
SPEAKER_00: Like, that was the first decision that I really made for me, and wasn't worried about anyone else's feelings or anything in regards to it.
14:53
SPEAKER_00: And I remember when I cut it, I just felt like something in me felt really free and proud and excited, and like that fire lit that I wanted to do more for myself and that I could do hard things.
15:10
SPEAKER_00: So I'm like, oh yeah, it's home.
15:13
SPEAKER_00: And it's crazy.
15:14
SPEAKER_00: I was just thinking about this.
15:16
SPEAKER_00: Like, I cut my hair thinking that people would like to leave me alone for my hair.
15:22
SPEAKER_00: I get more compliments now about my hair than I did when it was down my back.
15:27
SPEAKER_00: Which I'm fine with it now because like this is something that I wanted for me, and I'm cool with it, but that's just crazy.
15:33
SPEAKER_00: You really think you're escaping something when you change something.
15:36
SPEAKER_00: So once I finally started doing things and seeing the results of them internally, like slowly, that just made me want more.
15:44
SPEAKER_00: That made me want to put it in overdrive and really start to make shit happen.
15:51
SPEAKER_00: And I was on a good trajectory until I lost my job, and I thought this must be the end of it, because what am I gonna do without income?
16:01
SPEAKER_00: But that actually made me turn inward even more.
16:05
SPEAKER_00: That's really when things turned up.
16:07
SPEAKER_00: Y'all know, lost my job, got in a gym.
16:10
SPEAKER_00: I've lost 60 pounds at this point since the worst worst, including in 30s, at 30.
16:19
SPEAKER_00: Um, but last year I lost like 40, and I don't know how much is gained in muscle, but like losing my job and being able to focus purely on myself made the glow up really take off, made me really care about things in my life, my mental health, getting outside, taking care of my body, putting the proper things inside of my body, like that really turned me up.
16:45
SPEAKER_00: The wild thing is when I am in this space of I just lost my job, and I'm like, I don't want to waste this time, and realizing now is a great time to finally put in the work.
16:59
SPEAKER_00: It was honestly kind of hard to make that shift from no, I need to be in this grind and getting back into the workforce and you know, all the things that one would tell themselves when they lose their job, and actually sitting with the fact that it's okay for me to work on myself because we are taught like working on yourself, like usually people kind of just like wave that off and don't take it seriously and don't really see the value of working yourself.
17:29
SPEAKER_00: People tend to think like working on yourself is being selfish, and like it is, but not in a negative way.
17:37
SPEAKER_00: So I had to really let it sink in that like it's okay to work on yourself, and it's one of the hardest things I've ever had to work on.
17:47
SPEAKER_00: It's harder than any job I've had to do, it's harder than maintaining this podcast.
17:52
SPEAKER_00: Like, this is a full work in progress, like this is a project, it's a lot, it's so layered, and the hardest part was the mental part, the mental aspect, because if your mental ain't right, bro, everything else is out the window.
18:09
SPEAKER_00: So when I'm starting off this journey, originally, usually, I have to have things planned out, it has to make sense.
18:19
SPEAKER_00: If I don't have a plan, and if I start something and miss like a day or two, it's all like it all gets thrown off.
18:30
SPEAKER_00: And I had to make the adjustment in my brain because I understood that came from like basketball and childhood and my upbringing.
18:38
SPEAKER_00: Like, we are just going to start this process, not for the sake of seeing a result, but just making a commitment to yourself.
18:47
SPEAKER_00: We're just gonna go.
18:48
SPEAKER_00: We have no goal this month in terms of like weight loss or maintaining anything.
18:55
SPEAKER_00: Like, the only goal is to go two times a week, two times, it don't matter the day, but when you set the time, you are going to be in that gym, and so that's what I focused on for the first month.
19:08
SPEAKER_00: And once I built that momentum and a rhythm, then I slowly started to implement things because I didn't want to throw myself off, put too much on it, and just completely give it up because historically that's what I've had to do, and that didn't work out, obviously.
19:27
SPEAKER_00: So I had to adjust my thinking, my mental health had to be strong enough to understand like you're doing this for you, you're not doing this for anyone's validation, you're not doing this to see any result.
19:43
SPEAKER_00: Like, right now, let's just do this because this is what you committed to yourself.
19:47
SPEAKER_00: And as hard as it was, I was in the gym, I'm just going and showing up every day, and slowly I started to increase the frequency.
19:57
SPEAKER_00: I start implementing things about nutrition, I start to implement certain ways in which I'm working out, and then the regiment became more structured and uniform, and you know, I got more granular with what I wanted, but I knew if I want something different, I have to do something different.
20:18
SPEAKER_00: And the first part of that was realizing, like, hey, you gotta change the way you're thinking.
20:23
SPEAKER_00: So that was the first step to this whole thing.
20:26
SPEAKER_00: Like, you have to have the awareness before you can change anything because you're not gonna change anything if you don't realize you're doing it, and I recognize that pattern within myself, so I'm like, nope, we are just going to go with it, and that has been the single thing that has gotten me to this point a year later.
20:49
SPEAKER_00: Because to be honest, I don't know if I really like wanted more for myself, I just didn't want to waste my time and needed something to do because I knew if I didn't have nothing planned, I was gonna go the other direction, and I could not do that, could not do that, so I had to just kind of go on autopilot just to get me started, because like wanting more for yourself sounds simple, but you really have to believe you deserve more, and that belief, if you don't have that instilled in you already, that shit is not automatic, and it's very difficult to let sink in and get it to sink into your body that like you deserve more.
21:35
SPEAKER_00: It's taken me all through this year.
21:39
SPEAKER_00: I'm still working towards fully letting it sink in.
21:44
SPEAKER_00: I have my moments where it shows up, and I have my moments where I'm still very critical of myself, but I've built such an awareness around it now that I'm e able to catch it, check it, change it, because we We can't move back into old patterns because old patterns had us living in an old way.
22:04
SPEAKER_00: And we are moving on to this new way.
22:07
SPEAKER_00: And I realized that the discipline, the discipline aspect of it, is not like the hustle rise and grind shit that they be preaching to us on social media.
22:21
SPEAKER_00: Like you don't have to do it the hard way.
22:25
SPEAKER_00: It's just literally showing up.
22:27
SPEAKER_00: I didn't start off running no 10 damn miles a day doing a crash diet and juicing.
22:33
SPEAKER_00: No, like that, no, that's not sustainable for one.
22:37
SPEAKER_00: For two, that sounded a lot more than I could handle at the moment.
22:42
SPEAKER_00: It still sounds like a lot.
22:44
SPEAKER_00: I'm still not on that tip, but there is a discipline that goes with it.
22:50
SPEAKER_00: And that discipline is tied into the commitments that you make with yourself that you can only get once you decide that you really deserve it and you truly believe that you do.
23:03
SPEAKER_00: And even if you don't believe it, you better fake it till you make it.
23:07
SPEAKER_00: Because when I was starting out, I didn't think I could even be here and I'm not even done, but I'm a lot further.
23:15
SPEAKER_00: I'm a lot healthier than I was this day a year ago.
23:20
SPEAKER_00: And I didn't think I'd be here.
23:21
SPEAKER_00: I didn't think I could do it because historically I've fallen off after a couple weeks.
23:26
SPEAKER_00: So you really gotta believe you deserve it and stick to that discipline.
23:31
SPEAKER_00: Like commit to yourself and honor those commitments that you make to yourself.
23:35
SPEAKER_00: And it's gonna take some practice.
23:37
SPEAKER_00: There have been plenty of days where I'm like, damn, I do not want to go.
23:41
SPEAKER_00: I remember this one day in particular.
23:44
SPEAKER_00: Oh, it was like maybe two months ago.
23:49
SPEAKER_00: I promise you, I would have done anything else in the world besides going to that gym.
23:59
SPEAKER_00: And I was convincing myself, like, we're not gonna go.
24:04
SPEAKER_00: Like it's cool, you stuck to it.
24:06
SPEAKER_00: Like, what's one day?
24:08
SPEAKER_00: Really trying to sell it to myself.
24:10
SPEAKER_00: And I just went back to the same notion that I've been living on this entire time.
24:17
SPEAKER_00: Like, it doesn't matter how you feel, you need to do it.
24:21
SPEAKER_00: That's what you said you wanted to do.
24:24
SPEAKER_00: You know you need to, so do it.
24:26
SPEAKER_00: And I'm you know, they say once you get to the gym, you feel better.
24:30
SPEAKER_00: I'm not gonna hold you.
24:32
SPEAKER_00: I got to that gym, I'm on the treadmill, I'm like, I still don't want to do this shit.
24:37
SPEAKER_00: I don't want to do it, but I just kept pushing through, and by the end, I was glad I went, but that was a push.
24:43
SPEAKER_00: But if I didn't have that discipline, I'd have chalked it up, and who knows what would have happened with the rest of the week because I was whoo, I was losing the battle.
24:54
SPEAKER_00: But there are some days where I gave myself grace, which is a very important aspect to have.
25:03
SPEAKER_00: You cannot have discipline without some grace.
25:06
SPEAKER_00: There are going to be some external factors, some things to consider to where maybe you can't stick to it that day, whatever it is that you were working on.
25:17
SPEAKER_00: There have been times where it's like, you know, I am in pain, or I've been working for 60 hours this week, including the weekends.
25:27
SPEAKER_00: Maybe I don't go to the gym tomorrow.
25:30
SPEAKER_00: Maybe I take a day off because my body's about to shut down.
25:33
SPEAKER_00: Like, that's when the grace comes in.
25:36
SPEAKER_00: And if you just push through and excuse the grace, that turns from discipline to a punishment.
25:43
SPEAKER_00: Like, I'm not saying go soft on yourself, but there comes a point where you need to you need to have some grace.
25:50
SPEAKER_00: So make sure just as much as you have discipline, you are keeping in mind the grace aspect.
25:56
SPEAKER_00: Because no grace means you starting to be mean as hell to yourself, disregarding your needs, and that's a swing in the opposite direction.
26:06
SPEAKER_00: But then grace without discipline, that's when you start cutting off.
26:10
SPEAKER_00: That's when you start skipping some days, getting one too many sweet treats, not doing the regiment that you had planned out, and then you look up and a month has gone by and you've been off course, and now you're feeling bad about yourself.
26:24
SPEAKER_00: So you need the two.
26:26
SPEAKER_00: They go hand in hand.
26:27
SPEAKER_00: And what that looks like is showing up consistently and not talking to yourself like a stranger on the street when you don't, when you have an off day, not speaking so negatively about yourself that it deters you from wanting to move forward and it makes you believe you don't deserve what it is you're striving for.
26:52
SPEAKER_00: Like having the two is important, but not overdoing either one is even more important.
26:58
SPEAKER_00: Cause like the physical, that part is easy, dare I say.
27:02
SPEAKER_00: Like getting things to look the way you want on the outside is the easy part.
27:09
SPEAKER_00: The hard part is when you've been putting in the work and you hit that part where the motivation wears off, where the discipline gets a little weak and the grace gets a little strong.
27:20
SPEAKER_00: Like, that's why you have to get your mental right before you even embark down this road.
27:26
SPEAKER_00: Motivation can only take you so far.
27:28
SPEAKER_00: We're human.
27:29
SPEAKER_00: You're not gonna feel like doing it all the time.
27:32
SPEAKER_00: But if you understand the importance of it, the value of it, how it's actually benefiting you, you'll continue on, even if you take a break in between, even if you rest, but you won't give it up completely and then start you back in the opposite direction.
27:50
SPEAKER_00: This process during this glow up is not linear.
27:55
SPEAKER_00: Some weeks you are all in, nothing can throw you off course, you are laser focused, and nothing and no one is gonna distract you.
28:07
SPEAKER_00: Other weeks, you're like, you know, I guess I'll do it.
28:13
SPEAKER_00: I guess, you know, I'll give it a shot.
28:16
SPEAKER_00: Like, it fluctuates, especially for people with the female anatomy.
28:23
SPEAKER_00: Do you know how many times I have been in the gym?
28:27
SPEAKER_00: And depending on the cycle that I am in, the same weight that I lifted last week feels about 50 damn tons heavier this week.
28:39
SPEAKER_00: That be killing me.
28:43
SPEAKER_00: Like, I just lifted this shit super easy last week, and now I'm sitting here looking like a Weenie Hud Jr.
28:51
SPEAKER_00: in this bitch, can't even lift it.
28:53
SPEAKER_00: Like, that's again why you gotta be mentally strong because it's not linear, it's not gonna always be smooth sailing.
29:01
SPEAKER_00: You're gonna hit some rough patches, and it is paramount that you got a strong mental when them rough patches hit so that it don't throw you off completely, because it's a test to see how strong you are at the end of the day, and if you ain't really in it to win it, that's gonna show you what you're made of.
29:23
SPEAKER_00: So, look, all that to say, the goal and the key to the glow up isn't perfection, it's consistency, it's momentum, it's continuing to move forward through adversity, through the ups and downs of motivation.
29:41
SPEAKER_00: It's keeping your eye on that prize no matter what comes up.
29:46
SPEAKER_00: And when you have these human moments where you get a little deterred, having some grace with yourself, but not losing course.
29:54
SPEAKER_00: Like that is super important.
29:56
SPEAKER_00: And when do you know if it's working?
29:58
SPEAKER_00: How do you know if you were currently in a glow up?
30:02
SPEAKER_00: Well, your thinking completely changes the way you speak to yourself, the way you think about yourself, completely different.
30:10
SPEAKER_00: You're kinder, you are speaking with less of a limited mindset.
30:16
SPEAKER_00: You're not speaking so much out of fear, you're speaking more out of curiosity.
30:22
SPEAKER_00: Instead of saying, like, I can't do this, it's more like I wonder what this would look like to get that done.
30:28
SPEAKER_00: You start to really believe, and your automatic response is there is a way forward, I just have to find it instead of there's no way I can get that.
30:38
SPEAKER_00: And you start to make decisions out of desire instead of fear.
30:45
SPEAKER_00: So that gets to making you do things that move the needle forward instead of keeping you stuck at the start line, and your relationship with your body completely changes.
30:58
SPEAKER_00: I am so much more comfortable in my skin.
31:02
SPEAKER_00: I have such an appreciation for my body.
31:05
SPEAKER_00: I thank my body for keeping me safe.
31:08
SPEAKER_00: I thank my body for managing the difficult times of life, not even just when I was overboard, but when I was underweight too, when I was very skinny and not feeling my body properly.
31:23
SPEAKER_00: I'm not putting shitty foods and shitty drinks, high sugar, high fat things in my body all the time.
31:32
SPEAKER_00: Sometimes I indulge because I still like these things.
31:36
SPEAKER_00: I give myself some grace, but we don't get too crazy.
31:41
SPEAKER_00: We do not dive off the deep end.
31:43
SPEAKER_00: We will have a sweet treat.
31:45
SPEAKER_00: We might even have two, but we get back to the program.
31:49
SPEAKER_00: I'm currently in that phase right now.
31:51
SPEAKER_00: I'm like, you know what?
31:53
SPEAKER_00: Okay, uh, we have been working, and so we have just been kind of indulging with food.
32:00
SPEAKER_00: We've still been in the gym, but like, hey, hey, we gotta get back on it.
32:04
SPEAKER_00: So now I'm back on the program because nobody is bigger than the program.
32:09
SPEAKER_00: But I gave myself grace.
32:11
SPEAKER_00: The old me would have chalked it up and been like, you know what, it's over.
32:15
SPEAKER_00: I might as well give it in.
32:16
SPEAKER_00: I might as well stop the gym.
32:17
SPEAKER_00: I'm not eating great, but I want more for myself, I understand more about myself, and I give myself grace because I'm not gonna never not eat some junk food ever again.
32:28
SPEAKER_00: I love wings, I love candy, sour candy specifically.
32:33
SPEAKER_00: I'm not giving that up forever, but I'm not gonna sit here and eat it every single day.
32:38
SPEAKER_00: That's insane.
32:39
SPEAKER_00: And when you're operating in a place of self-love and knowing your worth and your value and you treat yourself as such, the things that used to like destabilize you, knock you off course, get you down, no longer do that.
32:57
SPEAKER_00: During this process, I've had a lot of things come up for me emotionally, mentally, environmentally, that used to really like take me down and keep me down.
33:11
SPEAKER_00: I've had certain things come up that historically have depressed me.
33:16
SPEAKER_00: And not to say like it didn't affect me at all.
33:20
SPEAKER_00: I had like a lull moment for a day.
33:23
SPEAKER_00: I allowed myself and gave myself that grace of feeling it.
33:28
SPEAKER_00: But the next day, it's like, okay, how do we work through this?
33:32
SPEAKER_00: Like, I'm not letting it conquer me and take me over.
33:36
SPEAKER_00: I understand where that leads, and I don't want that for myself, I don't deserve that for myself.
33:44
SPEAKER_00: So those things in the past that really used to get you don't get you like they used to.
33:50
SPEAKER_00: And even as you are glowing up on non-physical ways, people take notice.
33:57
SPEAKER_00: Now, obviously, when you lose weight, people notice.
34:00
SPEAKER_00: But when you start to do the work and operate at a higher level of desire and love for yourself, people can't help but to notice that.
34:11
SPEAKER_00: Now, okay, when you lose 20, 30 pounds and your body looks completely different, people gonna let you know.
34:19
SPEAKER_00: And because you're in the work all day, every day, you might not even take notice, but other people are gonna see it, they're gonna see the work you're putting in, and that's just gonna motivate you to keep going.
34:30
SPEAKER_00: I've gotten a lot of support and compliments about how far I've come, and I just be like, oh, so y'all noticed, y'all noticed I gained a little weight in the past.
34:44
SPEAKER_00: Like, I thought I was hiding it.
34:48
SPEAKER_00: Please.
34:50
SPEAKER_00: But you know, I used to be like, ugh, like not wanting to be seen, but now I'm proud.
34:55
SPEAKER_00: Like, yeah, I'm putting in a lot of work.
34:57
SPEAKER_00: This is a lot of effort, this is not easy, but I'm doing it and applying it to so many areas of my life.
35:04
SPEAKER_00: This is just the one you see the most.
35:06
SPEAKER_00: But even like this podcast, people see, like, wow, you're really like building out like a real thing.
35:13
SPEAKER_00: Like, it looks so good, it looks so professional, and I'm just like in my head because I know what goes into it, and I'm so critical.
35:22
SPEAKER_00: I don't usually see that in the moment.
35:24
SPEAKER_00: But when I reflect back and I look at it and go see all the work that I've done, I'm like, damn, this looks pretty good for someone who didn't know what the hell they were doing, and it's only getting better.
35:35
SPEAKER_00: But once you do the internal work again, then the external will catch up.
35:41
SPEAKER_00: But you can't do the external and then make the internal come.
35:44
SPEAKER_00: It don't work like that.
35:45
SPEAKER_00: You can't count your chickens before they hatch.
35:48
SPEAKER_00: So if you've been on this journey of doing the internal work, of desiring more and wanting more for yourself, recognize you are in the glow up.
35:58
SPEAKER_00: This is the journey.
35:59
SPEAKER_00: Everybody thinks it's a destination.
36:01
SPEAKER_00: No, it is the journey.
36:04
SPEAKER_00: You have to acknowledge that you want these things, you want these changes, and that is the first part.
36:12
SPEAKER_00: So, congratulations, you're glowing up.
36:15
SPEAKER_00: So, you gotta acknowledge it.
36:17
SPEAKER_00: Acknowledge some of the things that you've changed about yourself.
36:19
SPEAKER_00: You can't glow up until you recognize it.
36:23
SPEAKER_00: So, call it out.
36:24
SPEAKER_00: What have you changed?
36:25
SPEAKER_00: Because I know it's some habits that have changed your tolerance for certain things, your habits.
36:31
SPEAKER_00: Maybe you've given something up, maybe you've started something that you've always wanted to, maybe you don't do something as much as you once did that wasn't good for you.
36:40
SPEAKER_00: These are all positive things.
36:43
SPEAKER_00: So be happy with that and recognize that that is a step in the glow up, baby, and you on your way.
36:50
SPEAKER_00: And once you do that, recognize what's still in your way, what's still hindering you.
36:56
SPEAKER_00: That habit, that relationship, that food, that thing you need to start, whatever that is to you, only you can determine what that is.
37:07
SPEAKER_00: But call it out, recognize it, and then the next part, you gotta do something about it.
37:13
SPEAKER_00: If I was still living the same way I was living a year ago, I wouldn't be here.
37:19
SPEAKER_00: I wouldn't have half the things that I have today.
37:22
SPEAKER_00: So you gotta make a change.
37:24
SPEAKER_00: Nothing changes if nothing changes.
37:27
SPEAKER_00: And those don't have to be like external as well.
37:30
SPEAKER_00: Those can be beliefs about yourself, those can be the ways in which you talk to yourself.
37:36
SPEAKER_00: I heard something that said your brain doesn't know the difference between a joke and the truth.
37:44
SPEAKER_00: So, whatever you tell yourself, you are internalizing as the truth.
37:50
SPEAKER_00: If you are saying my life is so shitty, I am so fat, I am so ugly, like it is to be.
37:59
SPEAKER_00: So only speak positivity and life into yourself so that it can be true.
38:05
SPEAKER_00: Because whatever you say, that's what it's gonna be.
38:09
SPEAKER_00: Nor should you be talking to yourself like that.
38:12
SPEAKER_00: Because let's say somebody else said half the things you said to yourself.
38:18
SPEAKER_00: Are you tolerating that?
38:20
SPEAKER_00: Doubt it.
38:21
SPEAKER_00: And just like you work on the mental, you gotta work on the physical as well.
38:26
SPEAKER_00: Just like you say, I want to do more movement with my body, I want to fuel my body more properly.
38:34
SPEAKER_00: You have to apply it with the physical aspects.
38:37
SPEAKER_00: You gotta move your body, you gotta eat the healthy nutritional foods, you gotta do the things that you say you want.
38:47
SPEAKER_00: You can't just wish for it, you can't just say you want it.
38:50
SPEAKER_00: There has to be an action applied.
38:52
SPEAKER_00: So you gotta do the both.
38:54
SPEAKER_00: You gotta speak it out, set an intention, and then you gotta do it.
39:00
SPEAKER_00: And you do not need some dramatic shift in life.
39:06
SPEAKER_00: I know a lot of times people decide they want to work on themselves when something big happens, when they go through a breakup, lose your job, lose your parent.
39:17
SPEAKER_00: Like something big usually has to happen before it clicks, but understand you're worthy of this thing now.
39:24
SPEAKER_00: You don't have to wait.
39:26
SPEAKER_00: Even if you start smaller, then maybe you would at a later point.
39:30
SPEAKER_00: Like, you don't need something huge to happen before you can start implementing these things for yourself.
39:36
SPEAKER_00: And make sure you're giving yourself the same amount of grace you would give somebody that you love when they're trying to go through a change.
39:44
SPEAKER_00: And please do not do this glow up for nobody other than yourself.
39:50
SPEAKER_00: Do this because you love yourself enough and you deserve to have the life that you want, to have the thing that you want.
39:58
SPEAKER_00: And stay rooted in that as you move through this process because it's not always gonna be fun.
40:04
SPEAKER_00: You ain't gonna always feel all good inside during the journey, but no, in the end, it'll be worth it.
40:12
SPEAKER_00: Alright, y'all.
40:13
SPEAKER_00: You know what time it is.
40:14
SPEAKER_00: It's time for I Say This With Love.
40:16
SPEAKER_00: Again, if you want your submission read, you would visit tinyurl.com slash AIGP advice, submit your information there, and I will read it during one of these episodes.
40:28
SPEAKER_00: What's one thing your younger self would be proud of if she saw you today?
40:32
SPEAKER_00: You always talk about her, but I wonder if you think about her a lot.
40:37
SPEAKER_00: I say this with love.
40:38
SPEAKER_00: I think about her all the time.
40:41
SPEAKER_00: Every day.
40:42
SPEAKER_00: I talk to her every day.
40:43
SPEAKER_00: I have a picture on my desk of my younger self that I resonate with the most, like the age in which I resonate.
40:52
SPEAKER_00: And I do that because I understand that she comes up a lot in my creativity, in my emotions, especially when those emotions are negative, when I feel rejected or hurt or unseen.
41:07
SPEAKER_00: I know that's her.
41:09
SPEAKER_00: So I talk to her and I check in with her every day, honestly.
41:16
SPEAKER_00: And I know that she would be proud if she was an actual person and could see me today.
41:27
SPEAKER_00: But I know she feels more seen and valued and loved, and that's what makes me happy.
41:38
SPEAKER_00: And I know she does because everything that I do, I'm doing from that place, from that younger version of me.
41:46
SPEAKER_00: And I'm checking in to see if it's aligned with what she wants, if she feels valued in it.
41:54
SPEAKER_00: And I thank her when I put things out.
41:59
SPEAKER_00: I thank her for being brave and being strong, and I give her that value that she wanted so bad when she was here.
42:12
SPEAKER_00: Um, so I I think about her a lot, and I know she is proud, and I'm proud that I could be someone that she would look up to today.
42:24
SPEAKER_00: All right, y'all.
42:26
SPEAKER_00: That's it for this episode.
42:27
SPEAKER_00: As a reminder, follow us on the socials, hit us up on the email, visit the tiny URL link, and follow us on that Patreon.
42:36
SPEAKER_00: But forever and always, I appreciate y'all so very much.
42:41
SPEAKER_00: Thank you for going on this journey with me.
42:44
SPEAKER_00: Can't wait to see what this turns into.
42:47
SPEAKER_00: Can't believe we're over 20 episodes.
42:49
SPEAKER_00: That's crazy.
42:51
SPEAKER_00: But I'm looking forward to the future.
42:53
SPEAKER_00: And as always, I'm RJ.
42:56
SPEAKER_00: This is the Alive I Guess podcast, and I'll see y'all same time next week.
43:02
SPEAKER_00: I'm a live idea.