Latest / The Inner Wealth Podcast / Ep270. Your Vision Makes the Discomfort Worth It: Why Growth Requires Something Bigger Than Comfort.

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Ep270. Your Vision Makes the Discomfort Worth It: Why Growth Requires Something Bigger Than Comfort. · The Inner Wealth Podcast

• 0:04
  SPEAKER_00: Do you ever wake up feeling like there's something missing in your life?
• 0:07
  SPEAKER_00: You ever feel the need to escape your business?
• 0:10
  SPEAKER_00: Are you running your life or is your life running you?
• 0:12
  SPEAKER_00: I'm like Gitco and I'll help you design and create a life so authentic and aligned with who you really are, you'll get excited just to wake up.
• 0:19
  SPEAKER_00: I'll help you create real wealth, success, and freedom from the inside out.
• 0:23
  SPEAKER_00: Welcome to the Inner Wealth Podcast, where we learn and choose to live inspired each and every day.
• 0:44
  SPEAKER_00: But I just wanted to come here live and just just jam live, all right?
• 0:49
  SPEAKER_00: So I don't I don't I haven't done many of these.
• 0:52
  SPEAKER_00: There was a time where I was in flow and I was doing a lot of lives, but uh that that hasn't happened a lot recently.
• 0:58
  SPEAKER_00: But I I do want to at some point just start doing more lives and start jamming.
• 1:02
  SPEAKER_00: But listen, if uh it if you want to hear something that's super, super empowering, that's that's super, super beneficial, super helpful.
• 1:11
  SPEAKER_00: Um, in the last workshop that I had, I shared a lot of these concepts, and I'm gonna tie it together with a little bit of a bow today.
• 1:19
  SPEAKER_00: But uh if you want to hear something that's super powerful, super empowering, that's gonna be super impactful for your life, watch this whole thing, listen to this whole thing uh all the way through because I'll I'll actually make a podcast episode about uh with this.
• 1:34
  SPEAKER_00: So if you're listening on a podcast platform, an audio platform, Spotify, uh, Apple, Apple Podcast, or if you're watching on video, YouTube, watch through to the end.
• 1:44
  SPEAKER_00: This is gonna be a good one, all right?
• 1:46
  SPEAKER_00: And and like I said, this is this is 10 years of clarity in the making, and I'm gonna disseminate it all in in a few minutes, all right?
• 1:53
  SPEAKER_00: So I had a super, super powerful realization over the last few days, and it connected, it was like a bolt of lightning and a little bit of a uh you know, that awareness, that zap of awareness uh that inspired me to uh and and really gave me the clarity about what does all this mean.
• 2:13
  SPEAKER_00: I it seems like I've had all these pieces of of the the puzzle all over the place, and and I'm really starting to snap these pieces together.
• 2:23
  SPEAKER_00: But there is a there's a quote that I want to share with you.
• 2:25
  SPEAKER_00: It's not really a direct quote, but it's a it's a concept that that that came up in me, uh that in my awareness, and um I want to share, and it helps help me understand.
• 2:37
  SPEAKER_00: I'm gonna share the concept and then I'm gonna tell you tell you some stories, all right, that are gonna help you understand.
• 2:42
  SPEAKER_00: But the the concept is a powerful and clear vision for what you intend to create in your life, for who you intend to become, for the work that you intend to do, for the quality of life that you intend to experience.
• 3:01
  SPEAKER_00: The a clear and powerful vision will help you find meaning and purpose in all of the discomfort and pain that's gonna be required in order to in order to realize all of that.
• 3:19
  SPEAKER_00: All right.
• 3:20
  SPEAKER_00: And I I did say pain, and I'm gonna I'm gonna explain uh you'll understand after I tell a story, you'll understand, all right.
• 3:28
  SPEAKER_00: So I'm gonna reiterate that concept.
• 3:31
  SPEAKER_00: A powerful and clear vision for who you're becoming, what you intend to experience, for wherever you intend, the quality of life you intend to create, for the anything you intend to accomplish or or accumulate, a clear and powerful vision will help you find meaning and purpose in all of the discomfort and pain required to uh to experience it.
• 3:56
  SPEAKER_00: All right.
• 3:57
  SPEAKER_00: Now, I like I love to tell my story of Marine Corps boot camp.
• 4:02
  SPEAKER_00: All right.
• 4:03
  SPEAKER_00: Back in uh November of 1992, I shipped off.
• 4:08
  SPEAKER_00: It was my first plane ride, airplane ride ever, and I flew from Baltimore, Maryland, down to uh Paris Island, South Carolina, and was gonna participate in Marine Corps boot camp.
• 4:19
  SPEAKER_00: It had been like months in the making, and I wanted to really, really wanted to be a Marine.
• 4:23
  SPEAKER_00: All right.
• 4:24
  SPEAKER_00: One day I woke up and I just had this idea, this thought that I had never thought about before, but I was like, yeah, I'm gonna go be a Marine.
• 4:31
  SPEAKER_00: All right.
• 4:32
  SPEAKER_00: And up to that point, I never thought about that before, but really, there was no direction, there was no aim for my life.
• 4:37
  SPEAKER_00: I had nothing.
• 4:38
  SPEAKER_00: I had nothing.
• 4:39
  SPEAKER_00: I had a$7 an hour job and no benefits, no prospects of growth in any way.
• 4:46
  SPEAKER_00: So there was, I had nothing to lose.
• 4:48
  SPEAKER_00: I wanted to experience something completely different.
• 4:50
  SPEAKER_00: So I get to to Parasol in South Carolina on the first day, and there's drill instructors all over the place, and there's one, you got one in each ear, one in front of you, one behind you, and they're just screaming at you.
• 5:02
  SPEAKER_00: And they're just they're just going ape shit.
• 5:04
  SPEAKER_00: And one's telling you to stand up, one's telling you to sit down, one's telling you to freaking scream louder, one's telling you to shut up.
• 5:12
  SPEAKER_00: One's telling you to jump, one's telling you to sit down, one's telling you to lay down.
• 5:16
  SPEAKER_00: There's just no way to win.
• 5:17
  SPEAKER_00: And that's not what they wanted.
• 5:19
  SPEAKER_00: They weren't after getting you to comply, they weren't after giving you an opportunity to win.
• 5:25
  SPEAKER_00: It wasn't about you winning.
• 5:26
  SPEAKER_00: They did it for one reason and one reason only.
• 5:29
  SPEAKER_00: And that's to cause as much dig dysregulation in your body as they possibly could.
• 5:35
  SPEAKER_00: And what they were doing is they were simulating like wartime as close as possible, wartime chaos.
• 5:42
  SPEAKER_00: All right.
• 5:43
  SPEAKER_00: And it there's a there was a saying that there's a military saying is uh a uh a gallon of sweat in peacetime saves a pint of blood in wartime.
• 5:54
  SPEAKER_00: And this is the the Marine Corps' way of just getting you as hyper dysregulated as possible.
• 6:00
  SPEAKER_00: And from there, your your nervous system rebuilds over time uh around being able to handle the higher levels of dysregulation like this.
• 6:10
  SPEAKER_00: And on day one, you are an absolute frickin' nervous wreck, and you are absolutely frickin' miserable, and you're upside down and your anxiety is spiking, and every cell in your body is freaking anxious and and fearful.
• 6:23
  SPEAKER_00: And on day 90, when they do the same exact thing to you, it doesn't even move your internals because the more familiar circ circumstances become, the the more uh regulated your nervous system begins to feel in them, all right, and and get begins to experience them.
• 6:40
  SPEAKER_00: So the same thing that causes discomfort on day one doesn't even move anything inside of you on day 90.
• 6:47
  SPEAKER_00: All right, that's the whole point.
• 6:49
  SPEAKER_00: Now, what that did is over time, uh in my family, Angie and I, my wife Angie and I have been together for 27 years.
• 6:58
  SPEAKER_00: We've had two children, we've had a bunch of dogs, we've lived in uh three time zones together.
• 7:04
  SPEAKER_00: We've lived in Baltimore, and in Baltimore, Maryland, in Portland, Oregon, St.
• 7:07
  SPEAKER_00: Louis, Missouri.
• 7:08
  SPEAKER_00: We we've we've experienced a whole lot in our lives together.
• 7:12
  SPEAKER_00: And there are times in the middle of the night something happens.
• 7:15
  SPEAKER_00: You know, there's a sound downstairs, or maybe back in the day when a baby was crying, uh, when a dog, you know, is is you can hear he's getting ready to throw up or something.
• 7:24
  SPEAKER_00: You know, all these things that are gonna happen from time to time in the middle of the night.
• 7:28
  SPEAKER_00: A smoke, a smoke alarm just going off in the middle of the night, right?
• 7:32
  SPEAKER_00: But all these things, my body in the middle of the night, when these things happen, my body just naturally just wakes up and I am clear and I am running towards the whatever's the commotion, whatever the issue is, my body just naturally gets up and moves right into motion, towards it.
• 7:53
  SPEAKER_00: And that is because my body was regulated for 90 days and exposed to high levels of chaos, and I operate internally at a very high level in chaos.
• 8:06
  SPEAKER_00: All right, that was the whole point is turn making unfamiliar familiar, taking recruits that can handle very little chaos, if any, and making them, giving them the ability to handle lots of chaos and stress and function at a high level.
• 8:26
  SPEAKER_00: All right, that is how you become a United States Marine, and everything that they expose you to, I've for three months I was cold, I was I was tired, I was hungry, and I it was miserable.
• 8:42
  SPEAKER_00: 90 days, absolute frickin' misery.
• 8:46
  SPEAKER_00: No, no real pause, no ability to think for yourself or anything like that.
• 8:52
  SPEAKER_00: There's there's just it's just go, go, go, go, go, train, train, train, faster, faster, faster.
• 8:57
  SPEAKER_00: Just chaos.
• 8:58
  SPEAKER_00: All right.
• 8:59
  SPEAKER_00: Now, during the course of boot camp, we started with around 65 recruits.
• 9:05
  SPEAKER_00: We finished with 60 around 65 Marines, but we also lost around 15 recruits during during the process.
• 9:13
  SPEAKER_00: All right, we lost about 15 recruits that stopped training.
• 9:18
  SPEAKER_00: They just gave up.
• 9:19
  SPEAKER_00: All right.
• 9:19
  SPEAKER_00: Now, they would just disappear.
• 9:21
  SPEAKER_00: So in the morning and and before before bed, we'd do a count-off.
• 9:26
  SPEAKER_00: And we'd start at the beginning of the squad bay and go all the way around and and the recruits would count off one, two, three, four, five, until you got to the end.
• 9:34
  SPEAKER_00: And the drill instructor knew how many recruits should be there.
• 9:37
  SPEAKER_00: And as soon as that number was there, when it got to the end, if the if the number was correct, we'd go and start doing our stuff.
• 9:44
  SPEAKER_00: And one day they're 65, and the next day they're 64, and the next day they're 63, the next day they're 65, and there's and it goes back to just it changes all the time.
• 9:54
  SPEAKER_00: And we never knew who was coming in.
• 9:56
  SPEAKER_00: We just see a new face.
• 9:57
  SPEAKER_00: And we were they were never introduced to us.
• 10:00
  SPEAKER_00: And when somebody departed, we never, we never understood why.
• 10:03
  SPEAKER_00: We never learned why.
• 10:04
  SPEAKER_00: But the point being is people were coming and going, and it wasn't our our business to know what the hell was going on.
• 10:11
  SPEAKER_00: All right.
• 10:12
  SPEAKER_00: But recruits would tap out and they would go home.
• 10:18
  SPEAKER_00: And we don't know, not we didn't always know who went home and who went to medical or or or whatever, but a lot of recruits tapped out.
• 10:27
  SPEAKER_00: They stopped.
• 10:28
  SPEAKER_00: They stopped training.
• 10:28
  SPEAKER_00: All right.
• 10:29
  SPEAKER_00: And the reason they stopped training is because they had lost a sense of meaning and purpose in the discomfort and in the pain of boot camp.
• 10:40
  SPEAKER_00: Now, I went to Parasol in South Carolina for one reason and one reason only, and that's to become a Marine.
• 10:46
  SPEAKER_00: And in my mind's eye, I could see clearly me walking across that graduation parade deck, I could see clearly me wearing that uniform.
• 10:56
  SPEAKER_00: I could see me as a United States Marine, and I, during the course of training, whenever I would be get uncomfortable or whenever there was pain, I would just bring to mind that image, that picture, that vision of me in my uniform walking across the graduation deck in a graduation ceremony.
• 11:20
  SPEAKER_00: That vision is what got me through boot camp.
• 11:25
  SPEAKER_00: Because it's it's built, boot camp's built to graduate Marines, but it's also built to weed out people that aren't mentally strong enough and not emotionally fit enough to be able to endure the stress and chaos required to function at a high level as a United States Marine.
• 11:45
  SPEAKER_00: And when I was on a march and my legs felt like they were gonna fall off, when my feet felt like they were gonna fall off, when there were blisters on my feet, and you just had to keep marching and keep walking and keep carrying 77 pounds of equipment, when my with the blisters on my feet, when I could feel the blood on my socks, I just brought the vision, I brought to my mind's eye the vision of me in my uniform walking across the parade deck.
• 12:13
  SPEAKER_00: Now, early in my business, back in 20, uh you could say 2017, when it when it really started, back in back in when I started the business, my vision was very clear.
• 12:25
  SPEAKER_00: 10 clients, 10K of recurring revenue in my coaching business.
• 12:29
  SPEAKER_00: And I just kept holding that vision in mind.
• 12:33
  SPEAKER_00: All right.
• 12:34
  SPEAKER_00: And I had to have conversations that felt uncomfortable.
• 12:36
  SPEAKER_00: I had to do new things that were that were on keep you alive by trying to keep you in familiar circumstances.
• 12:43
  SPEAKER_00: And it tries to keep you in familiar circumstances because it has proven up to this point to be able to keep you alive there.
• 12:50
  SPEAKER_00: All right.
• 12:51
  SPEAKER_00: And everything that is unfamiliar is going to create internal dysregulation.
• 12:58
  SPEAKER_00: This is the old adage.
• 12:59
  SPEAKER_00: There's either comfort or growth.
• 13:02
  SPEAKER_00: All right, you can't have both.
• 13:05
  SPEAKER_00: In a body that's growing, that that's expanding circumstances, that's doing new things, that's doing unfamiliar things, it's going to be uncomfortable.
• 13:14
  SPEAKER_00: All right.
• 13:14
  SPEAKER_00: I hope this is making sense.
• 13:17
  SPEAKER_00: What we need to do is to find meaning and purpose in that discomfort so that you you move into and through the discomfort towards something unfamiliar, to something new, and to expanded circumstances.
• 13:36
  SPEAKER_00: But your body, your nervous system, is not your ally in this.
• 13:40
  SPEAKER_00: Your nervous system is trying to get you to back up.
• 13:43
  SPEAKER_00: All right.
• 13:43
  SPEAKER_00: And we need to understand this.
• 13:44
  SPEAKER_00: In order to master this, the creation process, in order to experience something brand new, something new, something expanded, something even better than what you're you're experiencing right now, you must be willing to face and endure discomfort and pain.
• 14:02
  SPEAKER_00: All right.
• 14:03
  SPEAKER_00: And most people on this planet are seeking comfort.
• 14:06
  SPEAKER_00: People that are growth-oriented are going into and through the discomfort of growth.
• 14:12
  SPEAKER_00: All right.
• 14:33
  SPEAKER_00: Now he was he he was obviously Jewish in Eastern Europe at that time, and he found himself in concentration camps, but he was also a psychologist, psychiatrist, and he used his time in forced labor camps to like almost as a study and a research project in order to understand human psyche and human psychology at an even deeper level.
• 15:00
  SPEAKER_00: And what he realized was was when a person had meaning and purpose in their life, they had the will to live.
• 15:10
  SPEAKER_00: But as soon as a human lost, when they lost that meaning and purpose, then then they gave up.
• 15:17
  SPEAKER_00: They became hopeless and and they gave up on the ambition of living.
• 15:22
  SPEAKER_00: And he said he could see it.
• 15:25
  SPEAKER_00: He could see the prisoners who had a will to live and the ones that had given up the will to live, because every day they would get issued food and cigarettes.
• 15:34
  SPEAKER_00: And the people that wanted to live would trade their cigarettes for food, and the people who were ready to die would trade their cigarettes or would trade their their food for cigarettes.
• 15:46
  SPEAKER_00: And he could see the day or the moment that a prisoner gave up meaning and purpose in being alive.
• 15:55
  SPEAKER_00: And what what Victor Frankel described was walking back and forth from a work site back to the camp in brutally cold, snowy conditions with no shoes and with nothing protecting your feet, with conditions that most of us will can never even fathom.
• 16:19
  SPEAKER_00: 99.9%, especially in the in the first world, 99.9% of all humans living in a first world country will never endure that type of discomfort.
• 16:29
  SPEAKER_00: But he said the thing that got him back and forth to the the to the the work site every single day was having that vision in his mind of the project, the work that he was going that he was doing and the positive impacts that it was going to have on society when he got out and he published this work of art or work of publishing.
• 16:50
  SPEAKER_00: And with that purpose, with that meaning, with that vision, with that level of clarity, he endured things that were almost unendurable by most human beings.
• 17:02
  SPEAKER_00: And this is why I go, I said, and I started off this episode or started off this live with powerful and clear vision, then we can find meaning and purpose in all the pain and discomfort that's going to come along the journey of realizing who the person who you know you're here to become, the experiences that you know you're here to experience, and the circumstances that you know you're here to increase or to connect with, the relationships that you're here to have.
• 17:41
  SPEAKER_00: What I encourage you to do is sit down.
• 17:45
  SPEAKER_00: Sit down immediately, maybe even today if possible, if you're if you're watching this on Facebook Live, if you're listening to this on Apple Podcast or or Spotify, watching it on my YouTube channel.
• 17:59
  SPEAKER_00: First of all, if you're listening or watching the episode recorded later, go connect with me on social media so that you can see this in real time.
• 18:08
  SPEAKER_00: If you're connecting right now on social media, make sure you go and subscribe to the Interwealth Podcast on on uh any major platform and podcast platform, including YouTube.
• 18:20
  SPEAKER_00: And uh check that check this out.
• 18:25
  SPEAKER_00: But I want you starting today to sit down with a piece of paper and start to get clear about that dream that's in your heart.
• 18:33
  SPEAKER_00: I do 100% believe, and I have experienced in not just only my life, but the lives of the people that I work with, that everyone carries a dream in your heart.
• 18:45
  SPEAKER_00: The soul came here for a reason.
• 18:47
  SPEAKER_00: You you, the soul that you are, put on a meat suit in order to experience something very, very unique and significant for you.
• 18:59
  SPEAKER_00: And it probably looks different than everybody else.
• 19:02
  SPEAKER_00: But sit down and get clear about what it is your soul came here to experience and understand that that's more expansive you, who you need to become, or who you're gonna become, what you're gonna experience, what you're going to create in your life, it's going to require, it's going to require some some discomfort and maybe even some pain.
• 19:26
  SPEAKER_00: And the willingness and the ability to feel and move into that discomfort and pain is going to separate someone who's playing offense in life from someone who's playing defense.
• 19:38
  SPEAKER_00: Because someone playing defense just wakes up to avoid negative circumstances, negative consequences, negative internal dysregulation.
• 19:47
  SPEAKER_00: That's playing defense in this life.
• 19:49
  SPEAKER_00: But in order to play offense, you need to move into and through the discomfort and sometimes the pain of what you need to endure to become who you want to become, to experience what you want to experience, to have what you want to have.
• 20:01
  SPEAKER_00: All right.
• 20:02
  SPEAKER_00: That's the difference between going on offense and playing defense with the rest of your life.
• 20:06
  SPEAKER_00: And I'm going to say that quote, one more time.
• 20:12
  SPEAKER_00: Powerful and clear vision will provide meaning and purpose to all of the discomfort and sometimes even pain required to experience what you came here to experience.
• 20:26
  SPEAKER_00: I hope this is helpful.
• 20:28
  SPEAKER_00: I hope this was powerful for you.
• 20:30
  SPEAKER_00: And uh, if there's anything I can ever do along your journey of growth, of self-development, of self-awareness, of expanding your circumstances, of or of becoming someone more aligned with what's really in your heart and soul.
• 20:46
  SPEAKER_00: If I can help in any way, don't hesitate to reach out.
• 20:48
  SPEAKER_00: All right.
• 20:49
  SPEAKER_00: If you're watching this or listening to this on a podcast apple or Apple Podcast, I'll put in the in the uh in the comments or in the show notes, I'll put uh some links to get in contact with me.
• 21:00
  SPEAKER_00: But uh guys, if you're watching on social media, just DM me.
• 21:04
  SPEAKER_00: Let's jam.
• 21:05
  SPEAKER_00: All right.
• 21:05
  SPEAKER_00: I love you all.
• 21:06
  SPEAKER_00: Thanks so much, and we'll see you next time.
• 21:12
  SPEAKER_00: If you enjoyed what you heard and you want to learn more, go to www.innerwealthglobal.com for more tools and resources.