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Understanding LASIK: A Clear Guide to Vision Correction Surgery · The Well-Built Life

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  Speaker 1: Hey, everyone, Welcome back to the Well Built Life. I
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  am really glad you are here today. This is a
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  space where we cut through the complicated trends and confusing
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  advice to talk about what actually works for your health, fitness,
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  and overall well being. No intense jargon, no extreme rules,
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  just simple practical tips you can easily fit into your
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  everyday routine to feel a little stronger, healthier, and more balanced.
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  Grab a drink, get comfortable, and let's dive into today's conversation.
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  Today we are talking about LASIK. It is truly a
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  master class in modern medical absurdity that we have collectively
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  decided the most logical response to poor vision is to
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  let a stranger with a laser beam slice open our eyeballs.
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  According to digital Repositories of medical knowledge, the acronym stands
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  for laser assisted in situ. Keratomilisis a mouthful of Latin
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  and Greek that essentially translates to fixing your gaze by
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  zapping your ocular tissue. It is a delightfully bizarre concept
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  when you stop to consider it. We are essentially talking
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  about microsurgery on the most sensitive part of the human face,
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  just so we can avoid the harrowing inconvenience of wearing
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  glass frames on our noses. From what can be gathered
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  through various electronic encyclopedias, the goal here is to permanently
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  alter the shape of the cornea, that is, the transparent
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  dome covering your eye, which in a perfect world would
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  focus like correctly without human intervention, But since we are
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  biologically flawed, we opt for this clinical spectacle. The procedure
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  is ostensibly simple, lasting only about fifteen minutes per eye,
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  which is just enough time for your existential dread to
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  peak while someone holds your eyelid open with a metal spring.
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  Internet based archives suggest that the surgeon essentially creates a
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  flap in your cornea. The outermost layer folds it back
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  like a poorly managed page in a paperback book, and
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  then uses a high powered laser to vaporize microscopic bits
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  of your eye tissue. It is a form of surgical
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  theater that borders on the macabre. The sheer audacity of
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  the process is remarkable. You are lying there, perfectly awake
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  while a computer controlled device decides exactly how much of
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  your anatomy needs to be sacrificed to the gods of
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  twenty twenty vision. It is a profound testament to our
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  willingness to endure minor physical trauma for the sake of
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  esthetic convenience. Publicly available data indicates that once the laser
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  has finished its rapid fire bombardment of your cornea, the
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  flap is simply laid back down to heel on its own,
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  like a self sealing envelope. No stitches, no fanfare, just
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  a plastic shield taped to your face and a mandatory
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  chauffeur to drive you home while you contemplate the strange,
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  high tech reality of having had your sight surgically rearranged.
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  It is truly a fascinating, if not slightly grotesque, evolution
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  of medical science. Before we dive into the actual optics
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  altering sorcery, we must address the theatrical pregame show. You arrive,
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  perhaps slightly jittery, only to be ushered into a sterile
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  chamber that feels less like a medical office and more
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  like a high budget interrogation room. According to Digital Records,
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  the ritual begins with the application of topical numbing drops.
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  These aren't your average over the counter soothing agents. They
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  are specifically designed to render your eyeballs blissfully unaware of
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  the impending mechanical intrusion. It is a delightfully absurd sensation
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  knowing that your most sensitive sensory organ is about to
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  be effectively lobotomized by a few milligrams of liquid. For
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  the particularly anxious, there is the option of a sedative,
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  a pharmacological nudge into a state of semi conscious indifference.
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  It is a classic example of medical irony. We voluntarily
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  ingest substances to dull our awareness while we allow a
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  machine to perform precision surgery on our literal windows to
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  the world. Once you are adequately sedated and your nerves
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  are sufficiently dulled, the true performance begins. You are instructed
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  to lie flat, a posture that invites a certain existential
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  vulnerability from the information gathered in online databases. The next
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  step involves the insertion of a lid speculum. To call
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  this an instrument is almost a charitable understatement. It is
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  essentially a spring loaded contraption designed to ensure you fulfill
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  the role of a wide eyed participant, whether you want
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  to or not. Blinking is quite inconveniently no longer an option.
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  With your eyelid effectively pinned back in a display of
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  involuntary vigilance, the surgeon introduces the suction ring. This device
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  clamps onto your cornea, generating a vacuum that anchors your
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  eye in place with an intensity that is frankly quite grotesque.
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  As the suction engages, you will likely experience a sudden,
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  dramatic dimming of your vision, a phenomenon often described an
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  Internet based medical literature as a momentary plunge into darkness.
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  It is a surreal, almost cinematic transition, as if the
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  camera has suddenly cut to black in the middle of
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  a suspense film. This is the point where the absurdity
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  of the situation really hits home. You are lying on
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  a table, unable to blink, with your eye held captive
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  by a pressurized ring, all in the name of reclaiming
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  twenty twenty vision. It is a magnificent, albeit slightly distressing,
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  demonstration of human ingenuity. There is a certain dark comedy
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  in the fact that to fix your sight you must
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  first agree to be temporarily rendered helpless by a series
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  of specialized gadgets. It is a clinical masterpiece of the bazaar,
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  proving that we will go to truly ridiculous lengths just
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  to avoid the minor inconvenience of wearing spectacles. Once the
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  stage is set and your eye is firmly anchored in
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  its suction induced prison, the real fun begins. A microcurriytome descends,
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  which is essentially a high tech medical grade Deli slicer
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  designed for the human eyeball. It creates a corneal flap
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  by peeling back the outermost layer with the precision of
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  a master craftsman, or perhaps a particularly ambitious taxidermist. It
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  is a grotesque spectacle, yet somehow we find it perfectly
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  reasonable to allow a mechanical blade to hover over our
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  most delicate sensory organ According to a variety of digital archives,
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  this process involves parting approximately twenty percent of the cornea,
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  a thought that is as unsettling as it is fascinating.
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  There is a palpable, almost macabre elegance to the way
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  the surgeon lifts that flap, exposing the hidden landscape beneath.
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  With the flap folded back like the cover of a dusty,
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  neglected book, the eximer laser takes center stage. This is
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  where the narrative shifts from standard surgical procedure to something
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  resembling a sequence from a science fiction nightmare. The laser,
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  governed by a computer that possesses far more faith in
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  human geometry than I ever could, begins to vaporize the
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  interior tissue. It is a rapid, high energy demolition project,
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  occurring in pulses that last less than a minute. As
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  noted in several online repositories, this specific phase of the
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  operation is tasked with the literal vaporization of microscopic amounts
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  of tissue to fundamentally alter the curvature of the eye.
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  The absurdity of using an ultraviolet beam to burn away
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  parts of your own biology just so you can read
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  a menu without squinting is frankly a stroke of genius
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  that borders on the demented. It is a curious paradox
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  that we willingly subject ourselves to such precise destruction to
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  achieve a state of corrected clarity. The machine hums, the
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  tissue vanishes in a cloud of invisible particles, and you
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  are left to contemplate the sheer weirdness of the entire endeavor.
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  One moment, you are a sentient being with a standard
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  issue ocular structure, and the next you are a modified
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  human prototype, rebuilt by a machine that treats your anatomy
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  like a rough draft in need of a quick edit.
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  The irony of this transformation is not lost on anyone
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  who takes a moment to consider the mechanical brutality required
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  to achieve such a soft visual result. It is a swift, calculated,
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  and deeply bizarre dance of light and steel, leaving you
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  to wonder if we have truly mastered nature, or if
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  we are simply getting better at performing high stake surgery
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  on our own evolutionary shortcomings. By the time the flap
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  is smoothed back into place, you have been effectively rebooted,
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  though the memory of that laser induced vapor remains a
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  testament to our collective refusal to simply wear a pair
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  of frames. Once the laser finishes its brief high tech
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  assault on your anatomy, the surgeon carefully coaxes that delicate
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  corneal flap back into its original position. It is a
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  moment of profound, almost laughable simplicity. They just smooth it down,
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  like a piece of clingfilm that has lost its static,
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  and then they wait. The eye is left to sit
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  there for a few minutes, essentially bonding itself through the
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  sheer miraculous stubbornness of biological tissue. It is quite a
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  surd spectacle when you consider that we have just vaporized
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  interior layers of a vital organ, yet we rely on
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  nothing more than natural adhesion to keep the whole thing
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  from sliding off like a loose contact lens. According to
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  online sources, the cornea possesses an uncannyability to fuse back
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  together with such rapid efficiency that the need for sutures
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  is entirely rendered moot. It is a rather fascinating bit
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  of evolutionary luck that we can slice into our own
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  eyes and expect them to knit themselves back together without
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  needing a single stitch. However, because your eyes are now
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  essentially works in progress, you are mandated to wear these
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  rather unflattering, rigid plastic shields. These devices serve the purely protective,
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  if slightly humiliating, purpose of ensuring you do not absent
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  mindedly rub your eyes or apply accidental pressure while you slumber,
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  which would quite inconveniently disrupt the healing process. Internet data
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  indicates that you are strictly forbidden from operating a motor
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  view immediately following the procedure. It is a bit of
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  a tragic comedy that you have just paid a significant
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  sum to see better, only to find yourself utterly incapable
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  of navigating the world without a chauffeur. You must therefore
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  arrange for someone to transport you home, turning what should
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  be a triumphant return to visual clarity into a dependent
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  backseat passenger ordeal. It is a classic example of medical irony.
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  You are suddenly granted the gift of high definition sight,
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  yet you are temporarily reduced to the status of a
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  toddler who needs a ride and must be protected from
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  touching their own face. That brings us to the end
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  of today's episode. Thank you so much for spending part
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  of your day with me. If you found this episode's
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  tips helpful and want to make sure you don't miss
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  the next conversation, please take a quick second to hit
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  and we will talk again soon