Latest / DA CREW Podcast / HALF WAY MARK_ SEASON 2 DA CREW PODCAST _ EPISODE _97_ HOST SHANETTE W JOHNSON

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HALF WAY MARK_ SEASON 2 DA CREW PODCAST _ EPISODE _97_ HOST SHANETTE W JOHNSON · DA CREW Podcast

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Got sixty seconds. Take a mental health minute to learn about depression disorders.
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psychotherapy or talk therapy, medication, and sometimes brain stimulation therapy. These treatments
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have depression, talk to a trusted friend, family member, or health care
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twenty twenty by Queen Angela. Get featured, Let's talk about it with your
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host Sennett Johnson. Join me every merchant third Monday of the month at eight
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m Eastern standards and Let's talk about It. You good evening, and thank
4:33
you for joining me for another episode of Let's Talk About It. I am
4:39
your Hostnett Johnson. On this evening, I do not have a guest with
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me. Usually I will have a guest on with me. Last week we
4:48
talked about grief. I talked about grief with Prophet. It's a morning Prophet
4:54
It's on today. I just wanted just to share a lit to about how
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my week went. First, I'm gonna just say it was kind of horrible.
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I'm gonna just put it out there. It was. I had my
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moments, but I didn't stay in my moments. After the podcast on Monday,
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during the podcast, I was getting a phone call from a relator,
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and when I got off the podcast, the relator told me that the owner
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basically sold the place where I've been staying at for the last twelve years.
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And so we was under the impression that we was going to be able to
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stay here because that was initially told to us. But everything has changed now
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now they've given us sixty days to So if you see the boxes, I
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have boxes behind me. I don't move my office into my living room,
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so I'm in the process of packing up my things and getting prepared for that.
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So right now I feel that I am in a Joe moment. What
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I mean about that is everyone knows that seven months ago I found my some
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responsible and I laid him to rest in December. So if you know the
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story of Job, how Job lost everything, but he never wavered with his
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faith. He kept on persevering, he kept on pushing. And that's where
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I feel that I'm at now. I'm gonna take take you back just just
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a tiny bit to two thousand and one. When my son got sick.
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He actually we actually found out that he had congested heart fail you when he
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was eighteen US. He fell out at the Green Mink station when we lived
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in Los Angeles. So that's what we found out. That his heart was
7:25
the like as the cardiologists will say. His heart was like a seventy year
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old man or a seventy two year old man, and so he can live,
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but you know, he would have to change his diet and so on.
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So twenty twenty hit Bam. He started getting sick. He caught COVID.
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He was in and out the hospital every month when his heart when his
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blood pressure would drop we would have I would have to hold his heart medicine
8:05
into his blood pressure up, get back up. Once his blood pressure get
8:07
back up, then I was able to give him back his heart medicine.
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We was doing this going back and forth. So one day he had a
8:16
doctor's appointment. Doctor put him on his program and the nurses. She said,
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well, we're gonna send the nurses out. I didn't know how severe,
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how really severe my son? Well, how sick he was. He
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The nurses came out and we was all in the living room. I was
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standing up, people sitting down. The nurses was on one couch. So
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they was telling him, so, what would you like us to do for
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you? And he was like, well, what do you mean by that?
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You know, basically they was giving him, letting him, let them
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know if he wanted a feed him tube, or if he wanted to prolong
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his life or he you know, if he wanted to go or life support
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or anything. And that scared me. I knew right then and there that
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hey, God only blessed me with one one son, but he gave me
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three daughters. My one son. I worked. I'm driving buses all the
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way in LA, two hours away from him. I made the decision to
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walk away from that job I started. When I walked away from the job,
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I didn't have no job. I just walked away because I felt that
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my you know, that's my child, and I had to be there with
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him. I had to take care of him, and I wanted to make
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sure that everything when well. I wanted to wishes to be granted whatever he
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wanted. I was there when he got sick. Kyle was at the foot
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of my bed. I knew when he was sick. So when I left
10:18
Matro, I didn't have no job. I was sitting in my car and
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I was just praying to God. I was like, Lord, How'm me
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to do this? You know, I got this rent I had. My
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baby was still in school, I think she was still in high school.
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And I got all these deals. I'm going through a divorce, you know,
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and I got I'm dealing with all of this. And when I stopped
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all the little talking in my head, when I stopped and I just prayed
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and I just listen, he said, do you trust me? You know?
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Of course, when you think you hearing things, you start looking around,
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like, who is this? You know? Did I hear what I
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said? Did you hear what was said to you? And it was and
11:20
it said he said it, yeah, well you trust me? And I
11:24
said, yes, Lord, I'll trust you. So I turned in all
11:30
my things. I started door dashing. I put my resume up online because
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I am a commercial driver. And as soon as my resume went up,
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I got a call from this lady named Sandy Woods at the Lighthouse for the
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Blind and Sam Bernardino. I started working for them. My schedule I had
12:03
the best scheduled because I was able to go to Kyle's appointments. That's all
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I wanted to do was make sure I was there at his appointments. And
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I had the best, the best schedule. I worked there, my door
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dash, my bills stayed paid, my daughter went to school. My oldest
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daughter was here with me, and we worked together as a team. When
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God asked me to trust him, I didn't know what he meant my bills.
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When I tell you, I served a good God, take my word.
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I served a good jo God. He's amazing, He's amazing. He
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kept me during that time. So the cardiologist, now, they wrote my
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son off. They told him, mam, your heart is only functioning at
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ten percent. You know, we're gonna put you on hospice. A lot
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of people. My baby was on hospice. He was an in and out
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of ICU. He coated and one day he coated three times. I will
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pray for him, as Lord, just heal my son. Just healing.
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That's all I want you to do, is just healing. He would come
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home, he'll be good. He'd go back down, and he'd go back
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down. Back in the hospital we go. So, you know, but
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yet and still I trust in God Kyle. He to see him, you
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wouldn't know that he was that sick because he was still riding his bike,
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he was still jogging, he was still working. Mind nerves. He I
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mean, he worked, He worked my nervous down. He would when I
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would leave to go to work, he would just be up crowing like a
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rooster. And you know, and we would go back and forth. But
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I would do anything just to hear him crow right now. But let me
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get back on subjects. So when in two thousand and twenty two, No.
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Twenty twenty two, I want the cardiologist told me that I can't go
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back to work because Kyle is starting to his heart is starting to approve.
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That was getting him ready to go in and put it the fib lader in
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his chest. So I'll go back to work. Started driving for Omni Tran's,
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you know, transportation. That is my life. That's what I love
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up to do is drive, and that to be honest with you guys,
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I did not even like that company once. Working when I worked for Metro,
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it was like, man, all the little perks you got and you
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go to this company and you know, but it was a good company.
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It paid my bills, so you know, I'm not gonna knock on for
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that. But when I was on my way to work one morning and on
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a ten Freeway, came to a stop right at a wanna you know the
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ten Freeway. They were doing construction right there, So we came to a
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stop. So we're at a dead stop and the traffic behind us is constantly
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just coming and all I hear is preaching types. So I'm I'm bracing.
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I braced. I think I braced too hard because when the impact when she
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hit the back of me, I went up. I hit my head on
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sternweel and I came back and I was like, oh my god, did
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you know did she get up? Did you know? What's going on?
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You know? She come out and she was like, oh, I didn't
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I didn't see you. How you not gonna see my tail lights? It's
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five in the morning and everybody got on. You know, lights is own.
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So with change information, she's a register. She was a registered nurse
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on her way to work, so went to I went through all of that
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and I'm staying. Lord, now I'm back. It don't work now and
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done left the lighthouse? Where uh to go? Drive find me? Now?
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I'm back out far? So you know and what you know? What
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now? And again, what do you tell me? Trust me? Trust
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me? Will you trust me? Yes? I will trust you. I
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trusted God. I go have an m r R. I got three slip
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discs in my back. One in the base of my neck, yeah,
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one in the base, one in the middle, and somewhere else they said.
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So you know, I knew being that I couldn't go back to driving
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buses because with eighty eight they don't play with eighty eight out there, so
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you have to bend down and strap the wheelchairs. You have to. It's
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so much movement you have to do. And the way that they told me
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how my back is, you know, hey, I can't do it,
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and I wasn't gonna push myself to do it to I know I can do
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it because that's what I love to do. I love interacting with the community.
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So what do I do. I called Regina and Sandy over there at
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the lighthouse and they let me come back. I went on back over there
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to my family. So I'm driving for them again. And then ment,
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I'm looking at the truck. So, like I said, my mind is
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on transportation and I'm looking at the trucks. Then I'm like, okay,
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I'm going to physical therapy, improving and everything, so I like happen.
18:52
So maybe I'll just go drive trucks. Kyle telling me my health it's good,
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and the boy went for him some skates now seemed, skating up and
19:04
down the street and stuff. And you know, I'm like this boy and
19:08
the loss his mind. He's skating up and down the street. What the
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dog? What is dog? You know? So you know, I let
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him going to be and so I just asked him. I said, Kyle,
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well you think mama can drive that truck. He's like, Mama,
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you can drive anything you want. Go ahead and do it. I said,
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So if I drive the truck. You're gonna be with me here?
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He's like, yeah, man, call it, do you know we'll come
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go ride with you and stuff. So I was like, okay, Kyle,
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you can't, but we're not gonna do the dog because not the dog
19:38
in the truck, Kyle. So he just laughed and I resigned again from
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the lighthouse. I resigned again on November ninth, November tenth. My war
19:56
was wrong. Like every I keep telling me everybody, my world was wrong.
20:03
I found them responses, went to sleep. He went to sleep.
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He just didn't wake up again. And it's been trying being alone seven months.
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I've been messing, been wanting to just talk to him. I do
20:22
talk to him, but I keep pushing. One thing I would like to
20:30
just say is that when you when you're dealing with someone that's a mother or
20:37
a father that's breathed on by the loss of their child, don't don't push
20:47
them. Don't push them. It has to be on their time when they
20:55
want to interact and with large groups. The first time I interacted with a
21:00
large group was at my auntie birthday party a couple of weeks after Kyle's services
21:07
in our crime. I wasn't ready. So I'm asking you guys, you
21:14
know, when you give them a hug, don't say well he's in a
21:19
better place, you know, because we don't want to hear it, even
21:26
though we know you guys mean well we you know, we don't want to
21:33
hear that because we're hurting on the inside. Just give us a hug.
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Pray for us. That's the main thing you can do is just pray.
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Just pray for us. We're pushing, we we're trying to get through this.
21:56
So my son his insurance laps. I'm just put it out there because
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I don't have nothing, you know, being to what my main thing?
22:11
What the Holy Spirit want me to tell someone as whoever's this for his insurance
22:18
laps? I would like want him to take over his insurance and what it
22:22
lapsed and he passed away? Here I go. I'm just you know,
22:30
stressed out, like Lord, what am I gonna do? How HOWMA laid
22:37
my child? The rest? You know, I'm not working and I has
22:44
I just put my job and you know, but God, but God,
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that's all I can say. A lot of us God, but God's we
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got got a lot of But God, we got testimonies that we're sitting on,
23:06
that we're not telling each other, that we're not telling someone I need
23:08
to hear this. But God, but God, I have such an amazing
23:21
family. They may be attagged crazy, you know they are, boy Lord,
23:29
but I love them. I love them to death. I was blessed
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with six aunties and four uncles on my mother's side, but only have four
23:45
aunties and one uncle left. And they're such an amazing that. Oh my
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God. On my dad's side, it's a I don't know how many aunties
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and uncle I have over there, but I have my Auntie Deborah, and
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my uncle Melvin, and my Auntie Breen. When I tell you I got
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my family came and they assisted me. My Auntie Dolly all I can say,
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my Auntie Dolly. When we went to the funeral home, my Auntie
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Dolly went in there with her notebook and her pen and she took notes like
24:34
she was the secretary. But I love her. My cousin Karen, no
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question, she was right there, obituaries, flowers, We down there at
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the flower marked together. My cousin Eric's it's not a word, a lot
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of words that I can tell you how he stepped in and and I know
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they had me because without them, my baby wouldn't have got laid, got
25:18
laid. The rest what I forgot to let you know about my mother.
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My mother, she's a she's a wonderful lady and I love her dearly.
25:36
She had plots at Rose Hill. A lot of people saying, oh,
25:41
she got the money, but she's led her led, He's going to rose
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Hills, and you know rose Hills costs money. Mm hmmm. See my
25:52
mother what she tried to do when we was when we start having children.
25:56
My grandmother now encouraged just to buy plots out there. I have plots,
26:03
but you know I was married, and that was a whole different thing.
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That's another whole, whole nother story. Maybe black Diamond and had me come
26:12
on her story and I'll tell her, tell her what happened. My mother
26:22
gave me a plot, a grade to let my baby dress my sister.
26:37
My sister. A lot of you guys think we're twins. Were we're not.
26:42
We're not twins. I'm older than Sanin. She may be bossy,
26:48
she may try to. She boss she does boss me around, and I
26:51
just let her do it, letting her think she getting away with it.
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But that's my traveling buddy. To what I love her. She paid for
27:02
the opening closing of the brain. When I tell you, my family stood
27:10
by me, They stood by me, and all I have to do,
27:18
all I have to say to them is that I love them and I appreciate
27:22
them, and I thank you guys for stepping in when I needed you.
27:30
My third, my baby girl, Kayisha, well she's not the baby.
27:34
She's my middle daughter, Kaysha, the one that kept me running, the
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one that kept me just lord that girl. Right then she would call me
27:48
and she would say, Mama, what we gonna do about this? Mama?
27:52
But it cost this much for Mama. And I would say to her,
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Kaysha, do you know who my because my guy already done taught me.
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We already had a discussion. I said, do you know who my
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God is, patient, who my father is, who I serve? And
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she said yes, Mama. I said, now, I said, all
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I need is that is that mustard seed face. That's all I need,
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and God's going to work it out. I said, you watch him,
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sit back and watch what he do. Watch him. She called me and
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she was crying. She said, Mama, I see. I see now,
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Mama, I see, And this is what I say. Hold on
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to your faith when the windst started blowing. Hold on be like that palm
29:00
tree. See that palm tree is rooted down into the ground. The roots
29:06
go straight down. So if you are planet on good soil, if God
29:14
is your soil, you put your roots in him and you go down and
29:21
you hold on to him. You gonna then, but you won't break because
29:26
I'm gonna tell you, I'm being all the way over to the ground because
29:32
you could have just pushed me on in and grab with my son. But
29:37
God got works for me to do. He got work. And I tell
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you, I feel like, oh Joe, Lord, my son, God,
29:48
this is happening to me. But I'm holding on to you though you
29:52
slay me. Yet I'm gonna trust you. I'm gonna trust him. I'm
30:00
gonna hold on to God's unchanging here to my last breath, this situation that
30:11
I'm going through. Now, all he said was do you trust me?
30:18
And all I had to do was say yes, Lord, my baby girl,
30:27
right, I told her, I said, baby, will you know
30:32
who my father is? I'ma always remind my kids, do you know who
30:36
my Heavenly Father is he got me. We're gonna be okay. Even though
30:42
a certain person wish trying to see my trying to see me fall. Bro,
30:49
you won't never see me fall. You may see me stumble, you
30:56
may see me stumble. But my God got me because I got faith.
31:03
I have faith and I'm gonna hold on and I'm gonna keep pushing on.
31:08
That's what I That's what I put in my in, my in. My
31:12
kids, they will all you on everything, and I would tell them,
31:19
hey, you gotta know who's talking to you, because two people talk.
31:27
If it's if it's coming from being mischief and if you are right you and
31:33
if it's confusion, you know that ain't a god. You know that's a
31:37
satan. God is love. You gotta know who's talking to you at that
31:41
time. But I tell you this, I'm still not working. I'm doing
31:55
lift now. I'm not ashamed of it because I know mentally I'm not stable
32:05
because I still cry. I thought I seen cattle. I turned my car
32:08
around. We just to go back to make sure that wasn't him. So
32:14
you know, when I'm ready to go back to driving to what I'm what
32:19
I'm doing, my passion. I'm gonna go back to do it. But
32:22
guess when I'm going back next month, going back to the lighthouse. I'm
32:28
going back to driving for them. I'm starting off. I'm taking baby steps.
32:36
And so today I was out lift. I know I should have been
32:40
in church, but I am in the church. I need to be among
32:46
the saints to get no, get more nurtured. So I'll go to pick
32:54
up this lady and she's like, I say good night, worn into her.
33:00
You know, she slamming the car door, and you know that I'm
33:04
rough with my brough with my feather, like you slapping, you slapping my
33:09
car door, so you know, and all I can just hear just saying
33:15
my daughter, my daughter. And I said, everything is okay, and
33:20
she said, my daughter, and I ain't see you. They got her
33:27
stable lord, and she just she just started calling off for God. And
33:32
I said, don't worry, ma'am. He's there. I said, I
33:38
know what you're going through because I've been there. I've been at the ICU,
33:45
I've been at my son's bedside, praying over him, and you know
33:52
he's he looks up at me after I finished praying and saying thank you,
33:55
mama, thank you for praying for me. That lady. She started crying.
34:04
She said, I don't know what I'm gonna do. And you know,
34:08
I just lost my husband seven years ago and I'm not over that.
34:13
But my daughter, you know, a child, I said, I know,
34:16
I know that feeling. I know what it's like to lose a child.
34:23
I was ATFRIL to share my testimony with her. I was a God
34:34
used me. I'm not a minister, I'm not a missionary. I'm just
34:39
Shnet Johnson. God used me to minister to her. I took her,
34:52
that lady to the same hospital on my baby bed. In every person not
35:00
I came in contact with, go today. Basically, I'm going to the
35:06
cardiologists, saying them to the cardiologists that Kyle went through, to the hospitals
35:12
that he went to. God is choosing me to to speak to people,
35:24
and I'm thank him for it. I often wonder I had one lady we
35:30
talked. Her son passed away a couple of months before Kilo, and she
35:38
said she told me, she said his assignment was up. He came,
35:45
he did what he was supposed to do, and he left. But he's
35:50
still with you. And so often wonder what was his assignment? Because we
36:02
all, we each have an assignment that we must complete. Some of us
36:08
will complete it, some of us want. But I want to complete minds.
36:14
I want to do what my father sent me here to do. And
36:20
then when I close my eyes and look upon his face, I want him
36:25
to say, well done. I wonder what was my son assignment? And
36:39
today why I was talking to my husband. Yes, I'm married again,
36:50
and you maybe maybe black maybe Black Diamond, have me on our podcast and
36:57
I tell you about that one? What what about this one? Now?
37:00
But my husband he asked me a question. He said, bade, what
37:14
is the valley? I said, A valley? He said, yeah,
37:19
what is the valley is? Every morning we have testimony? Said a valley?
37:29
You tell me? And he said, two mountains. A valley is
37:35
inside two mountains. Where you came from and where you're going. I came
37:45
a mighty long way, two marriages to divorce, God help me, and
37:58
I have faith. He kept my kids, Kyle shot. I have four
38:10
amazing children, four wonderful grandsons. Two is taller than me, too,
38:22
is not? I love them each dearly. And one thing I want to
38:31
tell everyone, I don't know what religion you practice, but I know my
38:44
guy is real. When he got about the grade, he got up with
38:52
all power, all power. When he spoke this world into existence, he
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spoke it is to existence with a words. Our words have power. People,
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What are you saying? What are you using your words for? Are
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you using your words to talk people behind their backs? Are you using your
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words to speak life to people into situation? Are you using your words to
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tell your kids that they ain't going to be they're not going to amount to
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nothing, or they just like their father? Or are they just like their
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mother? What are you using your words for? The Bible says that we
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hold death and life in the power of our tongue. Watch what you speak
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over your mind. We've been given authority to speak. Watch what you speak,
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watch what you say. My time is almost up. I just got
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upon here around when I don't know, maybe hopefully this helps someone, hopefully
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some hopefully this helps someone. But I got through the week last week and
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getting ready to walk in this into this new week. I know God already
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and laid the foundation offense to put on my armor, and I'm going to
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and I'm gonna walk on through this week. What I want to also share
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with you guys before for ourgo is that I have also my podcast is called
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Let's Talk About It. I speak on injustice because there's a lot of men
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and women that's in prison on wrong for convictions. I decided to use my
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voice to speak up for the ones that doesn't don't have anyone to speak on
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aybad for the ones that already did the work. I decided to speak up
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for them. So we're I also my partner. I don't know if she's
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going to come on, but Angela, there's the book Kings You Are Not
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Forgotten. We would like for if you can to go on to Amazon purchase
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this book for your self or if you have a loved one that's currently incarcerated,
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send it to them so they know that they're not forgotten. We have
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amazing men's that have written poems and letters to the men's that's incarcerated in there
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to give them hope. Until next time, family speak life into the situations.
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Remember I love you and take care all things that what they do?
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Where did all the blue sky's all as from the r South? Things