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Hypnosis for Leaving a Relationship and Stop Going Back to Someone Who's Wrong for You · The Hypnotist

• 0:05
  Welcome to The Hypnotist, the show that gives you inside
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  access to cutting edge hypnosis with real clients facing
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  genuine. Issues.
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  Brought to you by The Hypnotherapist, Demanded by
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  celebrities, CEOs and even royalty, Adam Cox.
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  These recordings took place live from Adam Smith in London's
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  world famous Harley Street. So get yourself comfortable and
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  enjoy today's episode of The Hypnotist.
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  Have you ever found yourself in a relationship that is on again,
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  off again, you break up and then you start thinking about that
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  person and then you end up back in a relationship with them?
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  Adam here. And that's the very essence to
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  what this hypnosis session is all about, because I was working
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  with a client that was in one of those in and out type of
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  relationships. And deep down they kind of knew
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  it wasn't right for them. And it has this concept of the
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  straw that breaks the camel's back that enough is enough.
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  And they wanted to make a decision that was final.
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  It had to have finality otherwise there was a risk that
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  they might go back to what they were doing before.
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  This at it's essence has two key components. 1 is the decision.
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  The decision to end that relationship and not just
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  sabotage it so that the other person leave it.
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  They end it on their terms for their reasons.
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  It's way more empowering to do it that way than the
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  relationship just kind of fizzles out or ends because one
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  does something and forces the hand of the other person.
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  So intention is very important there.
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  And then the second. Thing is about.
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  Worthiness and feeling deserving of something better.
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  They kind of knew what they wanted in a relationship, but
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  this particular client has had a habit of being a bit of a Tarzan
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  relationship experience. It in the sense that they would
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  hold onto 1 vine, they'd be in one relationship and swing, they
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  want to make sure that they could grab hold of another vine
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  so that they weren't alone or single.
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  And this client had been doing that ever since they had their
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  first relationship. They never had a period of time
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  where they were on their own. And what that does is it, it
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  does two things. One, it creates A belief system
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  that either you're not valuable or you're not capable of just
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  being a entity that exists in the world unless you're in a
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  relationship. And also, if you feel that you
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  have to be in a relationship, there will be some kind of
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  internal gaslighting where you magically see the qualities in
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  the person that feels perfect simply because they're available
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  and interested, not because they're right.
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  And a lot of people think in terms of gaslighting that it's
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  some someone else does it to you, particularly narcissists.
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  But actually humans are more than capable of deluding
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  themself. You know, there's lots of
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  conditions based on the idea of seeing reality not exactly as it
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  is. You know, psychosis is one of
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  those things. Dysmorphia is another.
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  Humans are more than capable of seeing things different from
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  reality. Therefore, it was really
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  important to this particular client that they felt that they
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  could just be on their own, not need to be in a relationship,
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  but if they were to be in a relationship that they would be
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  very discerning about that relationship.
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  So if you can connect or resonate to any of these themes,
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  this hypnosis session might be quite useful for you.
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  Please bear in mind though that it was created for an individual
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  and therefore therefore some of the references would have been
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  absolutely perfect for the client I was working with and
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  not quite relevant for you. Therefore, ignore any
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  suggestions that aren't quite right, hone into the ones that
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  are, And if you'd like the idea of working with me directly,
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  have a look at some of the links in the description of this
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  episode and you'll see a suitability test, a webinar you
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  can book, a consultation call with me.
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  All of those things are in the description.
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  For now though, find a quiet, comfortable place where you
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  won't be distracted or disturbed.
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  Relax and enjoy the session. Take a deep breath in, and as
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  you breathe in, breathe in that resourceful feeling of calm and
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  relaxation. And as you exhale, give
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  permission to release or release any tension, any resentment, any
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  frustrations. They're not needed here and now.
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  And as you find the rhythm of your breath, just allow each
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  breath to get slower and longer, breathing in deeper and exhaling
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  for longer than you normally would.
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  Because the deeper you breathe, the more relaxed you can feel,
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  and the more relaxed you feel, the deeper you breathe.
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  A wonderful cycle of relaxation followed by release, followed by
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  even more relaxation. And perhaps you notice your
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  eyelids getting heavier, your jaw looser.
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  Just allow those tiny muscles to let go.
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  That's right, deeper and more relaxed and just become aware of
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  the weight of your arms and your legs of your body.
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  Just allow gravity to facilitate depth.
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  Feel yourself fully supported, knowing that you can let go
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  because the surface beneath you holds you completely.
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  And with every outward breath, imagine a pleasant warm
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  heaviness moving through you, through your shoulders, your
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  arms, your hands, spreading down all the way through your body.
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  That's it. Down deeper down all the way to
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  your feet as you allow yourself to feel soft, relaxed, and safe.
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  And I want you to imagine a staircase, staircase or steps
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  leading from a beach house to the beach.
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  And it doesn't have to be a beach house, you know, but it
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  could be. And it doesn't have to be a
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  beach familiar with, it just could be.
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  But allow your imagination to show you whatever feels most
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  useful. And as I countdown from 12:50,
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  you will imagine walking down the steps to the beach, each
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  step down the staircase taking you deeper and deeper.
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  Relaxed 10. Drifting down 9 deeper still and
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  notice your body relax with every step. 8 shoulders loosen
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  76 Halfway down the stairs, now five, that's it.
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  Deeper still 4 and feel the depth within three and then two.
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  And just imagine, there you are on the beach as one becomes 0.
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  And perhaps you could imagine, imagine yourself on a beach, and
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  this beach is close to a sheltered Cove.
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  Perhaps you could imagine warm air, the sound of waves breaking
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  on the shore. You can just imagine walking
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  towards that Cove. It's just a beach in your
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  imagination. So imagine perhaps being
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  barefoot on warm sand near Clearwater, with waves moving in
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  a slow, steady rhythm, almost like the mirror, the rhythm of
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  your breathing. And this Cove, this beach, this
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  sand, this water, this sunshine is entirely yours.
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  And somewhere, somewhere there in the Cove, imagine a
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  comfortable place to sit, and maybe a sofa, a reclining chair,
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  or perhaps something else. And as you sit down, notice
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  something that in this place you feel complete, whole, exactly as
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  you are. Nothing is missing, nothing
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  needs fixing. Just you and the sound of the
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  sea and this deep, deep sense of peace.
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  And as you sit in this peaceful place, allow yourself to notice
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  what you notice. Perhaps you came to this place
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  already knowing because there's a quiet certainty that has been
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  building inside for a long time. And what if today, in this still
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  clear space within your mind, you can finally hear it and feel
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  it without interference? I want you to think of that
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  relationship, and you've been brave enough to look at that
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  relationship honestly to see a cycle for what it is.
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  Connection, hope, real hope. A sense of highs and lows, a
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  Groundhog Day of frustration, of returning to a a place.
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  But each time the bread crumbs get little and smaller and
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  fewer, so it costs you a little more, a little more energy, a
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  little more of yourself. And what if today, something
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  clicks, something settles, something shifts quietly,
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  permanently, not dramatically. No need for anger, but with the
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  kind of calm certainty that comes from finally trusting what
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  deep down you've always known. You can make a decision that
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  feels tentative or temporary. But I want you to look within
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  for a feeling of steadfast resolve.
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  And I want you to feel that sensation, not as an idea.
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  There's a feeling feel that feeling of being steadfast and
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  absolute, resolute. That a decision is a decision
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  that removes any other possibility than the decision.
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  No need to do anything to burn the boats or burn the bridge.
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  The decision is more than enough.
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  A resolve that is steady, that does not waiver, that holds the
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  line. And this isn't a decision made
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  on the fly in a moment of heat. It's a decision made with due
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  diligence. You've thought and thought and
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  your gut, that same gut that has been right so many times, has
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  been telling you this for a long time.
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  So you don't just listen to it and you don't just do it that
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  all of it feels aligned, that you're doing what needs to be
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  done because it feels right. And when you do it, you harness
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  that steadfast resolve irrespective of what you feel
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  afterwards. Steadfast resolve means then you
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  stick to your guns. You stick to your decision.
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  Decisions aren't always easy, but the right decisions are
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  necessary. And I want you to notice that
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  you're not blowing anything up and you're not burning anything
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  down. You are simply choosing
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  yourself. You're saying that your
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  happiness matters, your future matters, and you can trust what
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  you know deep inside and feel that ideas settle.
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  Maybe notice a word or a sensation that represents this
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  resolved, quiet certainty. Maybe a singular word like done
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  clear mine. Now if a word or a sensation or
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  a feeling comes up, embrace it. Let that anger itself in you now
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  feel like this decision is as solid as a rock.
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  But let's explore something important.
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  In the past, it wasn't just that you had hope.
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  Sometimes you felt sorry, sympathy.
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  And I want you to embrace that deeply compassionate part within
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  as warmth and care. A core to who you are.
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  Real strengths, a wonderful quality.
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  And perhaps you think you're needed, but I want you to
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  release yourself. Release yourself from anything,
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  anything that doesn't serve you. To be a martyr is to sacrifice
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  yourself for the benefit of something or someone else.
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  Staying in any relationship out of pity is not the same as love.
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  It's not kind, not to you and not to them.
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  Because when you stay for pity, it's a pretense, a shadow of
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  something real, a performance of a relationship.
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  When it's real love and you're choosing to be somewhere because
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  you want to be somewhere, that's not duty, that's not pity,
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  that's not responsibility or obligation.
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  That is real love. That comes from real freedom.
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  And I want you to imagine. Imagine the moment you say the
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  words, you do what needs to be done.
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  Not from a place of resentment and frustration, but from a
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  genuine place of wishing them well.
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  You can wish yourself well. You can wish them well and still
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  walk away. Because compassion and kindness
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  sometimes is setting someone else free and setting yourself
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  free. Because love starts with self
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  love and compassion starts with self compassion.
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  What if this is the chapter of your life where you fill your
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  cup, you put yourself first, and all of those moments of in a
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  dialogue, self delusion, internal gas lighting.
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  You've tried that. You can trust your gut.
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  You can't always trust those words you tell yourself.
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  And the voice that says maybe it isn't that bad, maybe they'll
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  change, maybe this time will be different.
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  Is fear wearing the costume of fairness?
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  It's a habit of hope and both of those things are understandable,
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  but neither are truth. What's true for you, and has
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  been true recently, is that you are capable of self love and you
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  are capable of enjoying your own company.
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  So from this point forward, you can trust your gut, and when
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  that familiar voice tries to soften the edges of what you
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  know, you can return to this place of doing what's best for
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  you while still being caring and compassionate for others.
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  I want you to harness a sense of pride for yourself as a person
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  who has rebuilt themselves many times over the resilience to
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  weather many storms. So now as this chapter closes, a
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  new one opens and you approach it with the most valuable thing
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  a person can bring to a relationship, the idea that you
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  don't need one. When people feel that they have
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  to be in a relationship, swinging from 1 vine to another
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  and needing to grab the next one, it forces one of two
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  things. A rush decision or that internal
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  gas lighting of convincing yourself that that person is
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  exactly the right person you need and you have experience now
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  to know that's not true. You are not rushing to grab the
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  next fine. In fact, you're not swinging
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  high up in the air. Your feet are on the ground.
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  Your house is yours. You have time.
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  And when someone comes along who is genuinely worth your
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  extraordinary capacity to love, they will earn it slowly,
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  consistently, through what they do, not what they say.
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  Words. Words can just be words.
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  Promises can be empty, but actions become evidence.
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  And I want you to think of a property maybe you considered
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  buying in the past, but if you had simply rushed in and bought
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  it, it would have been a headache, a bad decision.
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  But maybe you were more thorough.
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  You did your due diligence, you did your inspections.
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  And what you first thought was amazing when you looked at it
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  deeper wasn't desirable at all. If that's possible in a
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  property, it's possible in a person.
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  All the glitters is not gold. And what if you use this time to
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  embrace being picky, Discerning holding yourself to a higher
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  standard, that if it doesn't feel like it would be amazing,
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  then you don't want it? What if you allow conversations
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  to be conversations, dates to be dates?
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  Taking the time to get to know someone, to allow them to reveal
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  who they really are to you. And then, and only then, if it
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  feels right and the gut. Then you can choose from a place
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  of empowered discernment. You can choose that relationship
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  without needing to be in a relationship.
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  So imagine walking from the Cove back towards the beach house
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  with this steadfast resolve that is quiet, firm and completely
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  yours. The understanding that
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  compassion begins with yourself, a clear trust right there deep
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  in your gut. And the knowledge, the certainty
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  that your best chapter is not behind you, it is in your
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  future. You were the author and the
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  character. Just imagine climbing up those
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  steps back into the beach house, perhaps seeing yourself there in
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  a dreamlike sleep. And very soon I will count from
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  1:00 to 10:00 and you will imagine awakening, awakening in
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  the physical realm with a sense of clarity, resolve, and huge
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  amounts of optimism. So take a deep breath in through
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  the nose and out through the nose.
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  Just wiggle your fingers and wiggle your toes.
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  Connect and calibrate into the here and the now as I now count
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  from 1:00 to 10:00 to awaken you.
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  Starting to count 123 waking up 456 more alert 7-8.
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  Open your eyes. Open your eyes 910.
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  Wide awake. Wide awake.
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  Wide awake. Thank you so much for joining me
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  on today's episode of The Hypnotist.
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  If you've enjoyed this episode or got some value from it.
• 30:09
  Please. Give it a five star rating and
• 30:11
  review and maybe you know someone that would also benefit
• 30:15
  from this particular episode, in which case share the episode
• 30:19
  with them so they can also get the benefit too.
• 30:23
  And if you would like to listen to this episode where it's just
• 30:27
  the hypnosis, so no intro, no outro, no explanation, just the
• 30:32
  hypnosis and completely ad free. There will be a link in the
• 30:36
  description where you can subscribe at a very low cost and
• 30:39
  only get access to the hypnosis. So if that's of interest, please
• 30:44
  check that out. Thank you again for being a
• 30:48
  regular listener of The Hypnotist and I'll see you again
• 30:51
  soon for more.