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SPOTLIGHT on Kassim · Sass N Sips

• 0:09
  SPEAKER_03: Hi, and welcome to this episode of Assassin's Sips Spotlight.
• 0:13
  SPEAKER_03: Today we will be talking with Kasim, who is going to be talking about Hashimoto's disease.
• 0:20
  SPEAKER_03: And I'm Lisa, and I'm sipping on some fun coffee doctored up something in here to keep me alive and awake.
• 0:31
  SPEAKER_01: I feel like the good stuff you add to coffee is gonna put you to sleep, and then you have the caffeine to counteract that.
• 0:37
  SPEAKER_01: You kind of just like exactly you're just like square, you're still at ground zero with that one.
• 0:42
  SPEAKER_01: Yeah, but you know, whatever.
• 0:44
  SPEAKER_01: We tell ourselves lies.
• 0:45
  SPEAKER_01: So yeah.
• 0:47
  SPEAKER_01: And I'm Agnes, and I'm drinking a simply spiked lemonade passion fruit flavor.
• 0:53
  SPEAKER_01: Falling in love with this.
• 0:55
  SPEAKER_01: Well, the whole box is on sale, so you know.
• 0:58
  SPEAKER_01: Well, if it was on sale, obviously.
• 1:00
  SPEAKER_01: Why not?
• 1:01
  SPEAKER_01: I got anyway.
• 1:03
  SPEAKER_01: And we get to introduce our wonderful guest today.
• 1:07
  SPEAKER_00: My name is Kasim, and I'm I'm just drinking water.
• 1:10
  SPEAKER_00: I just woke up, so hydration.
• 1:13
  SPEAKER_01: Wait, you're supposed to drink water for hydration?
• 1:16
  SPEAKER_01: Damn, I didn't know.
• 1:17
  SPEAKER_01: My bad.
• 1:17
  SPEAKER_00: I mean you can ask Lisa, how many times am I just drinking four espresso shots of her ice on a ship?
• 1:22
  SPEAKER_03: I know, I know.
• 1:23
  SPEAKER_03: I I actually opened this morning.
• 1:27
  SPEAKER_03: So this this is, I don't even know what number this is.
• 1:32
  SPEAKER_03: So yeah.
• 1:34
  SPEAKER_03: I'm gonna ask my silly question.
• 1:36
  SPEAKER_00: Okay.
• 1:37
  SPEAKER_03: If I find it.
• 1:38
  SPEAKER_03: Okay.
• 1:39
  SPEAKER_03: Is there a limit to how intelligent a single person can be?
• 1:46
  SPEAKER_00: No.
• 1:48
  SPEAKER_03: Why not?
• 1:49
  SPEAKER_00: I feel like if there's things it's a it's a personal limit, I think, that could be set where it's like the world isn't stopping you, it's just yourself.
• 1:59
  SPEAKER_00: So if you're something you want to learn, you will go out there and you will do it and you'll seek out knowledge, but some people are compliant in where they are and don't seek it out.
• 2:10
  SPEAKER_01: Oh my gosh, that is so true.
• 2:12
  unknown: I love that.
• 2:13
  SPEAKER_01: We have a whole Thai generation of presidents that way.
• 2:16
  SPEAKER_01: Yes.
• 2:17
  SPEAKER_01: Oh, start off hard in the morning.
• 2:21
  SPEAKER_03: Oh, yeah, there's there's also like no rules here.
• 2:24
  SPEAKER_03: So, like with the exception of like derogatory comments, yeah, everything goes.
• 2:29
  SPEAKER_03: And and then there's always editing, so you know yeah.
• 2:33
  SPEAKER_01: Thank God for editing.
• 2:36
  SPEAKER_01: I can't tell you, can't tell you how many times I'm like, oh, I said fat delete, never happened.
• 2:44
  SPEAKER_03: We we take turns with which one of us has to be cut out.
• 2:50
  SPEAKER_01: Oh, okay.
• 2:52
  SPEAKER_01: It's funny how we don't know what the other one's gonna ask.
• 2:56
  SPEAKER_01: And I think up to now I would have been similar, very similar.
• 3:02
  SPEAKER_01: And I don't know if this is similar or not, probably not, but you I guess you can stretch a little bit.
• 3:08
  SPEAKER_01: Okay.
• 3:09
  SPEAKER_01: Do you have a secret talent and can you do it right now?
• 3:13
  SPEAKER_01: Oh at least that's not that kind of talent.
• 3:19
  SPEAKER_00: I mean, or um, I don't have one I can do right now, but a lot of people don't know.
• 3:27
  SPEAKER_00: Um, when I used to be a lot more able-bodied, I used to play saxophone and I was like tenor first chair in marching band.
• 3:37
  SPEAKER_01: I did marching band too.
• 3:39
  SPEAKER_01: We did too.
• 3:40
  SPEAKER_01: I was also sex, and I was tenor sax.
• 3:42
  SPEAKER_00: And I also used to do ballet on point for like 16 years.
• 3:47
  SPEAKER_01: Holy cow, that's hard.
• 3:49
  SPEAKER_01: Okay, I okay, I don't know why.
• 3:52
  SPEAKER_01: Fifth position kills me.
• 3:54
  SPEAKER_00: I don't even know what that's a reason.
• 4:00
  SPEAKER_00: And especially now in my old age, I do go out that far.
• 4:05
  SPEAKER_01: I don't like my hips are like, bitch.
• 4:07
  SPEAKER_01: I don't know who you think you are.
• 4:09
  SPEAKER_01: I'm gonna have to look that up later and try it.
• 4:11
  SPEAKER_00: Muscle problems for the right.
• 4:17
  SPEAKER_03: We have so much in common.
• 4:18
  SPEAKER_03: Lisa, we don't need you.
• 4:20
  SPEAKER_03: All right, I'll I'll see you later.
• 4:21
  SPEAKER_03: Bye.
• 4:21
  SPEAKER_03: All right.
• 4:26
  SPEAKER_01: Oh so you were here to harass us about my dog.
• 4:33
  SPEAKER_01: I'm so proud of you.
• 4:34
  SPEAKER_01: Hashimoto's dereditis.
• 4:37
  SPEAKER_01: So tell our listeners what's it what is that?
• 4:41
  SPEAKER_00: So I'm actually really new to the diagnosis.
• 4:43
  SPEAKER_00: I only got it as of exactly a month ago, actually.
• 4:47
  SPEAKER_01: Welcome to the team.
• 4:48
  SPEAKER_00: I know, right?
• 4:49
  SPEAKER_00: Um it's autoimmune disorder.
• 4:51
  SPEAKER_00: Um, it's basically it can be from what I know, it's either overactive or underactive, depending on the person.
• 4:58
  SPEAKER_00: Um, but your thyroid isn't working, and your chemicals are going blah ba-bah ba.
• 5:03
  SPEAKER_00: Um, accept the chemical.
• 5:05
  SPEAKER_00: And the thyroid's like, uh, I'm not here, technically, and there's no chemical I can accept.
• 5:11
  SPEAKER_00: So it keeps making it, and that starts damaging the tissue that you have.
• 5:18
  SPEAKER_03: And then lovely says.
• 5:20
  SPEAKER_03: Yeah, but I didn't know that.
• 5:21
  SPEAKER_03: I really didn't know that.
• 5:23
  SPEAKER_03: If only I had a friend who informed me like 30 years ago, maybe I would have known that.
• 5:29
  SPEAKER_01: Thank you for saying 30 and not 40, because it's close to 40.
• 5:32
  SPEAKER_03: But thank you for not well, you weren't diagnosed at 8, so you know.
• 5:37
  SPEAKER_01: I was diagnosed at 10.
• 5:38
  SPEAKER_01: So from 36?
• 5:41
  SPEAKER_03: Okay.
• 5:42
  SPEAKER_03: All right.
• 5:43
  SPEAKER_03: So anyway.
• 5:45
  SPEAKER_03: But what is so I guess my question is, so then then what happens?
• 5:51
  SPEAKER_03: Like, how do you like how does that manifest in the body?
• 5:55
  SPEAKER_00: So what's happening to me right now is I have I'm making too much chemical.
• 6:02
  SPEAKER_00: So my levels for like T3 or 4 are fine, but like one of my other levels is like 188 and 8.87, which is off the charts insane.
• 6:13
  SPEAKER_00: So what's happening is mine isn't working, so it's overproducing, and that's gonna harm whatever's left over there.
• 6:21
  SPEAKER_00: Um, and for like people can have like a lot of different um reasons why they get it, because like you can get it from other autoimmune disorders.
• 6:31
  SPEAKER_00: Like you can, you're more likely to get it if you have like celiac or like rheumatory arthritis, or like diabetes is a big one that'll lead into it.
• 6:40
  SPEAKER_00: But um if you get hyper, like I can get high cholesterol could be a problem, I can have like heart problems, I can end up with high blood pressure, um, and I'm already like you've seen me go around before, I'm already struggling to like walk.
• 6:58
  SPEAKER_00: Like, I went from I the heavy weight gain is a really big one that I'm struggling with right now.
• 7:04
  SPEAKER_00: Um, I started this year at maybe 220 pounds, and I am 120 over that now.
• 7:11
  SPEAKER_03: Oh my goodness.
• 7:12
  SPEAKER_00: Last time they weighed me when I went to the doctor's um on the 15th last month, because I went in October to like start everything when I went on that first sleeve, and then I went now, I was like, I'm in so much pain, like I'm struggling at work, I can't like stand up for too long.
• 7:29
  SPEAKER_00: I was at 342 pounds.
• 7:36
  SPEAKER_00: Insane.
• 7:37
  SPEAKER_00: I've I'm like, you know, I don't eat like garbage.
• 7:40
  SPEAKER_00: I don't know.
• 7:40
  SPEAKER_03: I've seen you eat, yeah.
• 7:43
  SPEAKER_00: And it's tough.
• 7:44
  SPEAKER_00: Like my husband has to help me tie my shoes, like uh a lot of the time, like my shoulder locks up when I'm in bed because of the muscles.
• 7:52
  SPEAKER_00: Um I have a lot of stomach problems because of it.
• 7:58
  SPEAKER_00: Um right now we lost power at five o'clock in the morning, and we came it came back while we were sleeping, but it turned back off again around like 11.
• 8:09
  SPEAKER_00: And with Hashimoto's, it's a big problem for tolerating cold, and our household is ran by radiators, so all of the heat was gone, and I'm like curled up in a little blank, like 10 blankets, two blankets, um, trying to stay warm and like my fingers are still pink.
• 8:26
  SPEAKER_03: Oh no.
• 8:28
  SPEAKER_03: That's rough.
• 8:30
  SPEAKER_00: Yeah.
• 8:32
  SPEAKER_01: How did I'm sorry?
• 8:33
  SPEAKER_01: No, go ahead.
• 8:34
  SPEAKER_01: How what was the beginning of your diagnosis?
• 8:36
  SPEAKER_01: What precipitated the diagnosis?
• 8:39
  SPEAKER_00: So, fun fact, um, I'm Egyptian, and um at a young age, my mom took me to a thyroid doctor like a few times.
• 8:46
  SPEAKER_00: I was a little bit of a heavier kid, but like, you know, she knew what I was eating.
• 8:49
  SPEAKER_00: We didn't I never ate garbage.
• 8:51
  SPEAKER_00: People say the Mediterranean diet's like one of the better ones out there.
• 8:54
  SPEAKER_04: Yeah.
• 8:55
  SPEAKER_00: So I went to the thyroid doctor about three different times, and with Hashimoto's, as you know, sometimes at the beginning levels, the levels are so inconsistent.
• 9:03
  SPEAKER_00: One day you'll look perfectly fine, and the other day it'll look insane.
• 9:07
  SPEAKER_00: Um, well, they never caught it.
• 9:09
  SPEAKER_00: So I went three times, and my mom was like, uh.
• 9:13
  SPEAKER_00: And um then during October, um, got insurance from work and I was um struggling with sleep apnea, and um, I would fall asleep like at the bath desk at my job, at stop lights, at red lights.
• 9:27
  SPEAKER_00: Like the sleep apnea was that bad because of the weight I was gaining from Hashimoto's that I knew nothing about.
• 9:33
  SPEAKER_00: And then um we said, let's like figure out like the sleep apnea first, see if some of the side effects go away because the sleep is better.
• 9:42
  SPEAKER_00: I just was able to pay attention to more things now because I'm slept and well rested, and then everything in my body hurt.
• 9:49
  SPEAKER_00: Um, and then I went back, I was like sobbing.
• 9:52
  SPEAKER_00: I was like, I it's hard to get out of the car, like it like my joints crack all the time, like it's tough.
• 9:58
  SPEAKER_00: And he was like, Yeah, that's well, let's look at your blood work.
• 10:01
  SPEAKER_00: And I was like, oh geez.
• 10:03
  SPEAKER_00: And like, you know, with Hashimoto's, like, uh for transparency, I'm transgender.
• 10:07
  SPEAKER_00: I stocked my hormones back in 2023 because um I just insurance, lack of insurance that was able to pay for it.
• 10:16
  SPEAKER_00: Um, and from there, I basically should have regular periods, like there is no reason that I shouldn't.
• 10:23
  SPEAKER_00: And but with Hashimoto's, it messes with your periods actually.
• 10:26
  SPEAKER_00: And I was missing two to four a year.
• 10:30
  SPEAKER_00: Oh, yeah, which is a side effect.
• 10:33
  SPEAKER_00: And I was like explaining all of that, and he was like, Yeah, that's um, we're gonna go ahead and put you on like so that I'm on thy rate medication now, and um, I also have like GERD, so I have stomach problems, which also comes with Hashimoto's, and um figuring out what is just things happening or what is happening because of this.
• 10:55
  SPEAKER_00: So it's like, yeah, you might have all of this, but this is all what happens with this.
• 10:59
  SPEAKER_00: That's not all individual things, like this is side effects of this, which also makes sense because um I don't know, I'm not saying I have it or don't, but I got diagnosed with bipolar really young.
• 11:10
  SPEAKER_00: And um, with Hashimoto's, it also affects your mood because it's hormones.
• 11:15
  SPEAKER_00: So, like, may I I may or may not even have it.
• 11:17
  SPEAKER_00: We don't know because I've never been steady, you know what I mean?
• 11:19
  SPEAKER_00: All of the mood swings can be maybe Hashimoto's.
• 11:23
  SPEAKER_00: You never know until your like levels are stable what or what isn't a problem.
• 11:30
  SPEAKER_01: When I forgot my question, go ahead, Lisa.
• 11:32
  SPEAKER_03: When you you said that your mom had brought you three times as a kid, how far apart were those like ish, you know, as best you can remember.
• 11:44
  SPEAKER_00: I want to say what two within the same year and one a different year.
• 11:48
  SPEAKER_03: Wow.
• 11:49
  SPEAKER_03: So it's just like something that could be hard to diagnose if you don't catch it at the right time.
• 11:53
  SPEAKER_00: Absolutely.
• 11:54
  SPEAKER_03: Okay.
• 11:56
  SPEAKER_01: Like I feel with any autoimmune disease, because I feel the first thing you get is oh, it's this, and it's your fault, and you're not sleeping right, or you're not eating right, or you're not taking care of yourself.
• 12:12
  SPEAKER_01: You're like, excuse me, exque me.
• 12:15
  SPEAKER_00: And with autoimmune-that's a big thing.
• 12:17
  SPEAKER_00: Like everyone's like, Oh, you're too heavy.
• 12:18
  SPEAKER_00: Like, we don't know what happens.
• 12:20
  SPEAKER_00: Like, it happens to female identify uh presenting people all the time, where it's like the doctor's like, it's your weight, it's your period.
• 12:26
  SPEAKER_00: I don't know, fix something else.
• 12:27
  SPEAKER_00: It's not my fault.
• 12:28
  SPEAKER_01: And then there's so and with different autoimmune, within each autoimmune disease, there's so many different, it shows itself so differently.
• 12:39
  SPEAKER_01: So it's not like you can run a particular test to find this.
• 12:42
  SPEAKER_01: It's just like, I don't know.
• 12:46
  SPEAKER_01: I I I we can't figure it out.
• 12:48
  SPEAKER_01: And in my case, I was lucky with both my diseases.
• 12:51
  SPEAKER_01: I was lucky that I had exceptional doctors and caught it right away out of random shit.
• 12:57
  SPEAKER_01: I'm like, how the I had like doctor houses.
• 12:59
  SPEAKER_01: I'm like, how the fuck did you figure this shit out?
• 13:02
  SPEAKER_01: Like looking back, I'm like, how did you do that?
• 13:06
  SPEAKER_01: Right.
• 13:07
  SPEAKER_01: I was like, okay, but it's it's terrifying.
• 13:12
  SPEAKER_01: You've gone your whole life with the disease and not even know it, and you have all these domino effects going as a result of it not being treated.
• 13:23
  SPEAKER_01: But you're one month in, which means you have your medication, you're gonna level out, and you will see change.
• 13:32
  SPEAKER_01: You're gonna see you're like, oh wait, I can do this now, or whatever the case may be.
• 13:38
  SPEAKER_01: Um, I was going, I keep forgetting my point.
• 13:41
  SPEAKER_03: I'll try again.
• 13:43
  SPEAKER_03: Is this something that sorry?
• 13:47
  SPEAKER_03: The shadow in the window is like, what the hell?
• 13:49
  SPEAKER_03: Okay, they're inside.
• 13:50
  SPEAKER_03: I'm like easily distracted by shiny things.
• 13:53
  SPEAKER_01: Squirrel.
• 13:54
  SPEAKER_03: Yeah.
• 13:54
  SPEAKER_03: Well, I'm on the second floor, so I shouldn't see a squirrel outside my window.
• 14:00
  SPEAKER_03: Just just you know, but anyway, is this something that can be maintained and I I don't know if controlled is the right word, but but maintained with medication?
• 14:14
  SPEAKER_00: Yeah, I'm on um like one of the most common ones they put people on.
• 14:20
  SPEAKER_00: Uh levithyroxide.
• 14:24
  SPEAKER_00: It's like the most common one they put people on.
• 14:27
  SPEAKER_00: Um, I take it every morning on an empty stomach with my um GERD medication.
• 14:33
  SPEAKER_00: And um, it's funny because I also see a nutritionist because you know you can't eat certain things with Hashimoto's as well.
• 14:39
  SPEAKER_01: Broccoli, cauliflower.
• 14:41
  SPEAKER_01: Oh, really?
• 14:44
  SPEAKER_00: It's nightshades.
• 14:44
  SPEAKER_00: You can't have nightshades, yeah.
• 14:46
  SPEAKER_03: So wait, isn't that like tomato also?
• 14:48
  SPEAKER_03: Yep.
• 14:49
  SPEAKER_03: Eggplant.
• 14:51
  SPEAKER_03: Holy cow.
• 14:52
  SPEAKER_00: What happens if you As an Egyptian, how dare I not be able to eat tomato?
• 14:57
  SPEAKER_03: Right.
• 14:57
  SPEAKER_03: You're like, no!
• 14:58
  SPEAKER_00: I mean, as a person said she's an olives, who am I?
• 15:02
  SPEAKER_03: Right, but I mean, I just feel like a person, and you can't have tomato or tomato products.
• 15:06
  SPEAKER_03: That's like everything.
• 15:09
  SPEAKER_00: But okay, um, she's like more intense than that.
• 15:13
  SPEAKER_00: They they're like, technically, you can't even have gluten.
• 15:16
  SPEAKER_00: I'm not supposed to have soy, and you know, soy is the only thing I put in my drinks.
• 15:20
  SPEAKER_00: My um it's in a lot of stuff, also.
• 15:22
  SPEAKER_00: Yeah, my nutritionist was like, as long as the the soy is two hours after you ingested the medication, you're fine.
• 15:29
  SPEAKER_00: But my doctor didn't even know that.
• 15:30
  SPEAKER_00: He was like, Oh, I have to look into that more.
• 15:32
  SPEAKER_00: Um, literally, that's very important.
• 15:34
  SPEAKER_00: Thank you for like telling me, but my nutritionist new.
• 15:38
  SPEAKER_00: Um, you have to be careful with like iodine.
• 15:41
  SPEAKER_04: Holy cow.
• 15:42
  SPEAKER_00: So yeah, like anything processed, alcohol, nightshade, which includes like peppers.
• 15:47
  SPEAKER_00: Again, it as an Egyptian, like stuffed peppers is what I eat.
• 15:50
  SPEAKER_00: Coffee.
• 15:51
  SPEAKER_00: I work at a Starbucks.
• 15:52
  SPEAKER_00: Like, what?
• 15:53
  SPEAKER_01: Well, have you ever has your nutritionist talked to you by AIP on the immune protocol?
• 15:59
  SPEAKER_01: Okay, so I did that like seven years ago, and it was life-changing.
• 16:03
  SPEAKER_01: It's uh elimination diet.
• 16:06
  SPEAKER_00: Yes, that's what I'm doing with my nutritionist 100%.
• 16:08
  SPEAKER_01: Yes, and you put out everything that can cause inflammation for like three months, and then you slowly add things back in.
• 16:15
  SPEAKER_01: And I was amazing, and I did it.
• 16:17
  SPEAKER_01: It was so easy for me because at the time I wasn't working, I just I was I'm on disability, so I was like, I could cook, and then and I actually continue, I never reintroduced anything until maybe like I don't know, three years ago.
• 16:30
  SPEAKER_01: I'm like, fuck it, I don't care anymore.
• 16:32
  SPEAKER_01: Um, but it's it's amazing how much food you can't eat with an autoimmune disease.
• 16:38
  SPEAKER_03: And but is it that the food interacts with the body and the disease, or is it like with the medications?
• 17:14
  SPEAKER_00: Sometimes both.
• 17:15
  SPEAKER_00: Like people don't know with um, so for the longest time in my life, I'm unmedicated on anything except for my health stuff.
• 17:22
  SPEAKER_00: I used to be on uh Latuda for my bipolar.
• 17:24
  SPEAKER_00: You can't have grapefruit for a lot of NSA um um for a lot of like mental health meds and antipsychotics, you can't have grapefruit.
• 17:34
  SPEAKER_03: And heart medications to grapefruit or it was was it hard or cholesterol?
• 17:38
  SPEAKER_03: One of them you can't have grapefruit.
• 17:40
  SPEAKER_00: Both, yeah, yeah.
• 17:41
  SPEAKER_00: It multiplies the use of your medication so it can overdose you.
• 17:47
  unknown: Oh, okay.
• 17:48
  SPEAKER_03: I never knew like what the reason was.
• 17:50
  SPEAKER_00: I um love grapefruit, and at a young kid, I used to like you know, have like eat it, cut the little squares out, and we went to the doctor for the first time, and I got you know my Latuda, and they're like, you know, make sure you read the packet.
• 18:02
  SPEAKER_00: I was like, Did you know I'm not supposed to have grapefruit?
• 18:05
  SPEAKER_00: He's like, Well, that sucks.
• 18:07
  SPEAKER_00: And then I got older, and me and my husband used to work at Wawa together, and my favorite soda at the time was squirt.
• 18:15
  SPEAKER_00: Did you know that's a grapefruit soda?
• 18:17
  SPEAKER_00: Because I didn't.
• 18:19
  SPEAKER_00: I would drink like one of those a week.
• 18:22
  unknown: Oh goodness.
• 18:24
  SPEAKER_03: I had no idea.
• 18:26
  SPEAKER_03: I feel like stuff like that, especially when it's so critical that you don't mix.
• 18:33
  SPEAKER_03: I feel like they should tell you instead of just saying, Yeah, don't worry, we just read the ingredients, read the answer.
• 18:40
  SPEAKER_03: No one reads no one reads it, right?
• 18:42
  SPEAKER_03: No one reads it.
• 18:43
  SPEAKER_03: I don't I don't read mine, but I have learned that when I get a new medication, I will ask the doctor point blank, are there any foods or things that I cannot have while I take this medicine?
• 18:57
  SPEAKER_03: Is there any interaction with my other medications or you know, whatever, or like I have skin issues, so like or the creams that I use, and I've learned that I have to be the one to ask because you you just never know, like the most random things can have an interaction because with Hashimoto's, they usually do suggest you like have dairy.
• 19:21
  SPEAKER_00: What do I do there?
• 19:21
  SPEAKER_00: I black doesn't tolerate, so I always have to like make sure I'm taking calcium and vitamin D from somewhere else because I cannot have a lot of dairy.
• 19:33
  SPEAKER_03: It's just like when it rains it pours.
• 19:36
  SPEAKER_00: Uh-huh.
• 19:36
  SPEAKER_00: And then obviously I have that whole problem with um I can't have like gum agents, so like the locust being gum and the guar gum.
• 19:45
  SPEAKER_00: But I can't, I can't have I can have dan thum.
• 19:48
  SPEAKER_00: Um, we figured that out recently, but everything else is up in the air, and like every non-dairy thing has that in it, specifically the coconut ones, too.
• 19:58
  SPEAKER_00: So there's always something.
• 20:01
  SPEAKER_01: It's always something.
• 20:02
  SPEAKER_01: And I find that most foods that's not processed, even food that you think is healthy for you, you have to go.
• 20:10
  SPEAKER_01: Like if I want coconut milk, I'm really gonna have to go to it.
• 20:14
  SPEAKER_01: I might have to go to Puerto Rico somewhere or Caribbean Island and get it.
• 20:18
  SPEAKER_00: Always have always has locust bean gum in it.
• 20:21
  SPEAKER_00: Like there was one day I was um I love the So Delicious brand, and I eat their yogurt, and I'm fine, but I ate their ice cream, I was vicious viciously sick all night.
• 20:31
  SPEAKER_00: Like it was bad.
• 20:33
  SPEAKER_00: And like um recently my doctor's like, well, obviously you have to cut out sugar, and that's the main thing I put in my oatmeal in the morning, you know, all two packets of raw and one thing of our brown sugar.
• 20:43
  SPEAKER_00: And she was like, You could try to cut that one out.
• 20:45
  SPEAKER_00: And I was like, Okay, cool.
• 20:46
  SPEAKER_00: So I bought um coconut palm sugar because the macros on it are really good.
• 20:53
  SPEAKER_01: Yeah.
• 20:53
  SPEAKER_00: Uh no, I um unfortunately got so sick that um I ended up in the hospital because I was bleeding like internally in my stomach, and it stopped eventually, but um, and they couldn't really figure out where it was coming from.
• 21:08
  SPEAKER_00: And they were like, you know, sometimes it's caused from like food if you have like this autoimmune thing, and I was like, God, I could have saved myself a hospital trip if I knew that.
• 21:17
  SPEAKER_03: So that's crazy.
• 21:20
  SPEAKER_03: I mean, but well, okay, wait.
• 21:22
  SPEAKER_03: But how did you find out that you were bleeding internally?
• 21:24
  SPEAKER_03: Is it because you were so sick, or what was there some other indication?
• 21:28
  SPEAKER_00: So this is a little it's little TMI.
• 21:30
  SPEAKER_00: I was up to you in the bathroom, and um I you know used the bathroom, and it was so bad in terms of blood, I thought I had my period.
• 21:41
  SPEAKER_03: Oh my gosh.
• 21:42
  SPEAKER_00: I was at work, I messaged um Tina and I was like, Hey, can you bring me a pad?
• 21:48
  SPEAKER_00: Like, I don't have anything in my car.
• 21:50
  SPEAKER_00: Because that's also when I was like going back and forth and like um helping my husband with stuff.
• 21:55
  SPEAKER_00: So like the car just was a little unorganized because I usually always have like a full replacement of clothes and underwear, like tampons in there.
• 22:03
  SPEAKER_00: Nope.
• 22:03
  SPEAKER_00: And I was so sick the rest of the day.
• 22:06
  SPEAKER_00: Um, I begged our manager to come cover for me.
• 22:09
  SPEAKER_00: He didn't, but technically I wasn't even supposed to be at work at that point.
• 22:14
  SPEAKER_00: And um I was on the floor with practically like hunched over in pain.
• 22:20
  SPEAKER_03: I'm so sorry.
• 22:22
  SPEAKER_00: Yeah.
• 22:23
  SPEAKER_00: I mean just for like trying.
• 22:25
  SPEAKER_00: To find a sugar replacement, you know?
• 22:27
  SPEAKER_01: Sugar, right?
• 22:29
  SPEAKER_01: Nothing like sugar.
• 22:30
  SPEAKER_01: I don't, you're you don't you're not asking for a lot.
• 22:32
  SPEAKER_01: I just want a sugar replacement.
• 22:33
  SPEAKER_01: I'm trying to be healthy.
• 22:35
  SPEAKER_00: I loved it.
• 22:36
  SPEAKER_00: Like the coconut palm sugar is amazing.
• 22:37
  SPEAKER_01: I love coconut sugar.
• 22:39
  SPEAKER_01: What about monk fruit?
• 22:40
  SPEAKER_00: I'm I can't eat like the monk fruit hurts my stomach, the stevia hurts my stomach.
• 22:45
  SPEAKER_01: Honey.
• 22:46
  SPEAKER_00: I do honey, I do agave.
• 22:47
  SPEAKER_01: Okay.
• 22:48
  SPEAKER_01: Okay.
• 22:48
  SPEAKER_01: Just want to make sure you have something.
• 22:51
  SPEAKER_00: And I'm gonna do date sugar now, too, because I can eat dates all the time.
• 22:54
  SPEAKER_01: God date.
• 22:55
  SPEAKER_01: Oh, it's so sweet.
• 22:56
  SPEAKER_01: Like just thinking about it makes my teeth hurt.
• 22:58
  SPEAKER_01: But I love it.
• 23:00
  SPEAKER_00: Came out of Egypt uh eating dates for uh snacky snacks.
• 23:04
  SPEAKER_00: Two boxes downstairs.
• 23:06
  SPEAKER_01: Oh wow right over.
• 23:10
  SPEAKER_01: Don't worry, you're safe.
• 23:11
  SPEAKER_01: I'm in Wisconsin.
• 23:12
  SPEAKER_01: I won't be knocking on your door anytime soon.
• 23:14
  SPEAKER_01: Welcome anytime.
• 23:17
  SPEAKER_01: Don't tell me that.
• 23:21
  SPEAKER_01: Sorry, Lisa.
• 23:23
  SPEAKER_01: Bye.
• 23:24
  SPEAKER_01: I'll be I'll be over your house next for dinner.
• 23:27
  SPEAKER_01: Oh, okay.
• 23:28
  SPEAKER_01: Thanks.
• 23:28
  SPEAKER_01: Listen, I'm an equal opportunity house crasher.
• 23:32
  SPEAKER_00: Yeah, I got two guest rooms.
• 23:35
  SPEAKER_03: Oh well, hold on.
• 23:36
  SPEAKER_03: I might come over.
• 23:39
  SPEAKER_00: You're already invited when I get out of this zoo.
• 23:44
  SPEAKER_01: I've been trying to get her to come visit me in Wisconsin.
• 23:46
  SPEAKER_01: Like, you need a vacation from your life, hint wink wink.
• 23:50
  SPEAKER_01: Come to me, my pretty.
• 23:53
  SPEAKER_01: So if she calls out one day, is I'm my fault.
• 23:58
  SPEAKER_00: Literally one of the hardest workers in that store.
• 24:01
  SPEAKER_03: There's not enough people to keep the store open.
• 24:04
  SPEAKER_00: If I've heard since I left, everyone else dropped like flies.
• 24:09
  SPEAKER_00: And every other day I get a text message from like, it's different without you, it's weird.
• 24:15
  SPEAKER_02: Yeah.
• 24:16
  SPEAKER_02: Yeah.
• 24:17
  SPEAKER_00: Um, she was very sick for a while, and she ended up with a sinus infection while she was in pain.
• 24:22
  SPEAKER_00: And if I'm around anyone that's sick for more than 30 minutes, it's over for me.
• 24:26
  SPEAKER_00: And that auto that sinus infection put me on the floor for five days.
• 24:33
  SPEAKER_04: Holy cow.
• 24:35
  SPEAKER_00: If you have an autoimmune disorder, you don't work through the virus, it works through you.
• 24:40
  SPEAKER_00: So it doesn't mutate and get weaker, it can just hop to the next person at the full force you got it at.
• 24:46
  SPEAKER_04: Yeah.
• 24:47
  SPEAKER_00: So my husband got it next.
• 24:51
  SPEAKER_00: And and because of that, he has psoriasis.
• 24:54
  SPEAKER_00: So the sinus infection caused an ear infection.
• 24:58
  SPEAKER_00: And then two, uh, my roommate has POTS and EDS and autoimmune orders on top of that.
• 25:04
  SPEAKER_00: So I got him sick and he just got better.
• 25:07
  SPEAKER_00: I want to say last week, and he got sick only three days after me.
• 25:12
  SPEAKER_04: Oh my goodness.
• 25:13
  SPEAKER_00: And the only one that le that got sick last is our roommate who was like at full health, got sick for maybe three days and then she was fine.
• 25:19
  SPEAKER_00: Meanwhile, me and a th were sick for three and a half weeks.
• 25:26
  SPEAKER_03: That's I mean, I don't have an an autoimmune in that sense.
• 25:30
  SPEAKER_03: Like with the I mean, I'm I'm asthmatic, but yeah, but I I know also for me when I get sick, it doesn't pass as fast.
• 25:39
  SPEAKER_03: And I'm like, I don't want to say I'm like critical, but it's like I just I'm so weak, I can't do anything.
• 25:46
  SPEAKER_03: It's like please just let me go to bed, and if I die tonight, it's fine.
• 25:51
  SPEAKER_03: You know, it's like just give me like don't check in on me, leave me alone.
• 25:55
  SPEAKER_03: Yeah, exactly.
• 25:56
  SPEAKER_00: Exactly what happened.
• 25:56
  SPEAKER_00: I'm sitting at my husband's desk right now, and I love him to death.
• 26:00
  SPEAKER_00: He was playing League of Legends, and I was asleep in the bed over there, and I'd wake up and he'd be like, How you doing, but I'm like right back to the bed.
• 26:07
  SPEAKER_03: Yeah, that's me.
• 26:08
  SPEAKER_03: Don't please don't check on me.
• 26:10
  SPEAKER_03: Like, please don't please definitely check.
• 26:15
  SPEAKER_00: Right, right.
• 26:17
  SPEAKER_03: That's it.
• 26:17
  SPEAKER_03: I just want to sleep for as long as I possibly can because I know for me that's the way my body recuperates.
• 26:24
  SPEAKER_00: Oh, yeah, like I slept through the first very heavy three days, and I woke up on the fourth day, somehow able to stand again, but like I filled a stuffy nose, my joints were also locked up, but like I didn't have the sinus anymore.
• 26:37
  SPEAKER_03: Okay.
• 26:39
  SPEAKER_03: Yeah.
• 26:40
  SPEAKER_03: Yeah.
• 26:40
  SPEAKER_03: I I mean, I know like I text you a couple of weeks ago, and you were like, Oh, I can't even get out of bed.
• 26:46
  SPEAKER_03: And I'm like, Oh, like I hate hearing that.
• 26:50
  SPEAKER_00: It's hard.
• 26:50
  SPEAKER_00: Like, sometimes, um, I don't know about you, but um, it'll really be my shoulder or like the side of my stomach, because I didn't even know when I went to the hospital for that stomach stuff, they found an umbilical hernia.
• 27:03
  SPEAKER_03: Oh my god.
• 27:04
  SPEAKER_00: Yep, and then I ended up having a pinch narrow on my back as well because of all of the heavy lifting I was doing on a shift.
• 27:10
  SPEAKER_00: Um, there was one day I was with someone specific, and it was just me and them, two shifts, and um, I was the only one who lifted garbage, I want to say, seven times that day.
• 27:20
  SPEAKER_00: And um, I took out the big one at least three different times.
• 27:24
  SPEAKER_03: Well, now I'm curious.
• 27:28
  SPEAKER_00: Um, yeah.
• 27:29
  SPEAKER_00: I took it took the trash out seven different times, did all of the dishes, uh, put all of bar back together.
• 27:39
  SPEAKER_00: And um, I think I got the hernia from that.
• 27:41
  SPEAKER_00: I'm not even gonna lie, it's like still there.
• 27:43
  SPEAKER_00: I can see like a little red spot I have.
• 27:45
  SPEAKER_00: Um, because like I was already in so much pain because my joints, like, you know, I went to the back every now and then to sit down because my body would just start burning.
• 27:54
  SPEAKER_00: It's still like that.
• 27:55
  SPEAKER_00: Like, uh I want to say last week I went to go make breakfast for my husband because he was like, you know, getting better from being sick, and we needed to eat, and I was the better one, so I made breakfast.
• 28:07
  SPEAKER_00: But uh between everything, like I was cooking bacon and I like sat put a chair in the kitchen because I was like, oh, I can't even stand.
• 28:14
  SPEAKER_00: Imagine making coffee on bar for three hours alone.
• 28:17
  SPEAKER_03: Right.
• 28:17
  SPEAKER_03: No, I get it.
• 28:18
  SPEAKER_03: I mean, I I I don't have anywhere near that, but I do have sciatica and when I sneeze, it hurts.
• 28:30
  SPEAKER_00: And so, like, I huh oh my god, when I sneeze, it hurts.
• 28:33
  SPEAKER_00: Wait, no, you can't do this to me.
• 28:36
  SPEAKER_03: And so, you know, my kids goof on me and they're like, Mom, you gotta stretch before you sneeze.
• 28:40
  SPEAKER_03: That's not normal, no, but I'm like, you know, like I I have scoliosis, so my spine is curved.
• 28:46
  SPEAKER_00: I have sciatica, so it's like places in his lower back.
• 28:49
  SPEAKER_03: Yeah, it's like, you know, getting old or and uh things hurt.
• 28:54
  SPEAKER_03: So I know I know all about the that burning feeling.
• 28:57
  SPEAKER_00: Oh, you can't do this to me.
• 28:58
  SPEAKER_03: No, I gotta keep going.
• 29:01
  SPEAKER_03: No, you're gonna be.
• 29:01
  SPEAKER_03: I'll be like weekend at Bernie's there at work.
• 29:04
  SPEAKER_03: Somebody put just put my hands on the espresso machine.
• 29:07
  SPEAKER_00: Literally, what you're saying, the pain down my leg, the pain down my arm.
• 29:13
  SPEAKER_00: I've never known you just told me something.
• 29:15
  SPEAKER_00: Every time I sneeze, if I hold it in, I have a giant pain that shoots down the whole left side of my body.
• 29:22
  SPEAKER_03: Mine is on my right side.
• 29:23
  SPEAKER_00: Mine's on my left side.
• 29:25
  SPEAKER_03: The sciatic pain usually tends to lean on my left, but when I sneeze, it's on my right.
• 29:31
  SPEAKER_03: I don't know why.
• 29:32
  SPEAKER_00: So yeah, that's right.
• 29:33
  SPEAKER_00: My the right side of my body is usually what tends to hurt.
• 29:36
  SPEAKER_00: And right now it's just the left side of my stomach because I have to sleep a certain way with the CPAP, so I'm a little bit tender on that side.
• 29:42
  SPEAKER_00: And um, I have some muscle damage for my top surgery because I had muscle atrophy, so that's I just a little bit more sensitive to um tissues.
• 29:50
  SPEAKER_00: But every time I sneeze, my husband like yells at me if I hold it in because I do get that shocking pain.
• 29:57
  SPEAKER_03: Yeah, I've never been stamped.
• 29:58
  SPEAKER_01: But I feel I feel like that's what it would fall.
• 30:00
  SPEAKER_01: By the way, while I'm here, let's get our MRI, let's get an MRI, all right?
• 30:04
  SPEAKER_01: Thanks.
• 30:07
  SPEAKER_03: Yeah, I I just thought it was like, you know, okay, this is just my life now.
• 30:12
  SPEAKER_03: Yeah, that's what I'm saying.
• 30:16
  SPEAKER_03: You know, I've got the the shoulder injury, so like every so often it if it's quiet, you might hear my shoulder squeak when I move it.
• 30:25
  SPEAKER_03: I don't know.
• 30:26
  SPEAKER_01: Yeah, it's it's weird.
• 30:28
  SPEAKER_03: Now, yeah, it doesn't happen all the time.
• 30:30
  SPEAKER_00: I get up from laying down, like every joint of my back and legs like you know, crack.
• 30:36
  SPEAKER_03: I've got the metal in my ankle.
• 30:38
  SPEAKER_03: I couldn't even walk today because I guess because of the weather, every step was like searing.
• 30:43
  SPEAKER_03: And I was just like, I cannot wait to get home and take a painkiller.
• 30:47
  SPEAKER_01: Didn't I ask you, do you have metal in your from your surgery?
• 30:49
  SPEAKER_01: Yeah, today was old when you get that metal, you're like, what the fuck?
• 30:53
  SPEAKER_01: It was bad today.
• 30:56
  SPEAKER_03: But yeah, I mean I I I know like my pain, right?
• 31:03
  SPEAKER_03: But but I don't know about chronic illness pain.
• 31:09
  SPEAKER_00: So I was still navigating what that means for me too.
• 31:13
  SPEAKER_00: Like I feel like it's always like a developing thing, like just now, like what?
• 31:17
  SPEAKER_00: I didn't even know that.
• 31:18
  SPEAKER_00: It's always something that'll like go along with it.
• 31:20
  SPEAKER_00: Like, I could end up with rheumatory arthritis because the pain might be related to that instead if it doesn't go away with something else.
• 31:27
  SPEAKER_00: I might end up with like EDS as well because like the tissues and joints might not even be from the Hashimoto's.
• 31:34
  SPEAKER_03: Like what is EDS?
• 31:35
  SPEAKER_00: Um, Ellers uh Danlo syndrome.
• 31:38
  SPEAKER_03: Oh, okay.
• 31:38
  SPEAKER_00: I've heard I don't know what it is, but I've heard on top of uh POTS.
• 31:42
  SPEAKER_00: Um, and POTS is I always forget that.
• 31:46
  SPEAKER_00: Uh God, I can't pronounce that.
• 31:50
  SPEAKER_00: Postural orthostatic uh thycardia.
• 31:55
  SPEAKER_00: It's it's basically like heart issues.
• 31:58
  SPEAKER_00: That's what my roommate has on top of EDS, which is joint and connective tissues.
• 32:04
  SPEAKER_00: And like it's like usually comes with hypermobility and stuff like that, which I do have, um, and you know, pain issues.
• 32:11
  SPEAKER_00: So three different two different things I need to talk about now when I go back to my doctor.
• 32:17
  SPEAKER_03: Hypermobility, what does that mean?
• 32:19
  SPEAKER_00: Oh, how do I explain that one?
• 32:21
  SPEAKER_03: Um, I know hyper usually refers to.
• 32:24
  SPEAKER_00: Being able to do joints past what people usually can.
• 32:27
  SPEAKER_00: Like for me, um, some people can do it naturally, like because I was in dance.
• 32:31
  SPEAKER_00: Like, people are usually hypermobile because they stretch their body to do so.
• 32:35
  SPEAKER_00: Some people are like that so much that it just overextends their tissues.
• 32:39
  SPEAKER_00: Like my husband in his knees is one degree from being diagnosed with hypermobility.
• 32:44
  SPEAKER_03: And my joints do move like that.
• 32:47
  SPEAKER_00: Yeah, my thumb, like it goes completely backwards.
• 32:50
  SPEAKER_03: That's not my mine doesn't go that far.
• 32:53
  SPEAKER_03: But like a lot of people can't like do the top.
• 32:56
  SPEAKER_00: I shouldn't be able to move my finger back that far as well.
• 32:59
  SPEAKER_03: Yeah, I mean, I can do it like this way, but not in the joint.
• 33:07
  SPEAKER_00: Your knees kind of invert inwards a little bit because you're extending them back.
• 33:11
  SPEAKER_03: My knees can turn.
• 33:12
  SPEAKER_00: No, not that, like where it's like you're standing, like flamming a little bit, yeah, because you're overextending them while you're standing.
• 33:21
  SPEAKER_03: My toes can bend down, so like I can like if your foot moves like this, you know, and these are your toes, they can go like this to the point where I can stand on them.
• 33:30
  SPEAKER_03: Yeah, you would have been a great dancer.
• 33:32
  SPEAKER_03: I did belly like for a year, but um so the big thing that people do with that is where like it's the um the tape, like the kinetic tape.
• 33:42
  SPEAKER_00: Okay, like your joints from overextending.
• 33:45
  SPEAKER_00: And so like you put it on with like your legs or your elbows or like your hands slightly bent, so you can't overdo it while the tape's keeping it in place.
• 33:55
  SPEAKER_00: Usually what they do for people in physical therapy as well.
• 33:57
  SPEAKER_00: No like like for him, okay.
• 34:00
  SPEAKER_00: You have to wear it for like when I say like three months straight.
• 34:02
  SPEAKER_00: I'd put the tape on like every other day.
• 34:05
  SPEAKER_03: Yeah.
• 34:05
  SPEAKER_03: I I had to do that for my shoulder at one point.
• 34:10
  SPEAKER_00: Because we work at anime conventions, and um that for me, I was security, so I was like roaming the room.
• 34:18
  SPEAKER_00: Um, my ankles would like start clicking.
• 34:22
  SPEAKER_00: It's a really bad one.
• 34:23
  SPEAKER_00: 50 things is one thing, you know, everything can start going wrong when like your home your hormones aren't in line, bare minimum.
• 34:30
  SPEAKER_03: Yeah.
• 34:30
  SPEAKER_03: So with the hypermobility, is that something that is an ongoing um issue?
• 34:38
  SPEAKER_00: Or does it like tend to correct?
• 34:40
  SPEAKER_00: My husband was when it's someone in a younger age with like before their um late 20s, they usually see it go away.
• 34:47
  SPEAKER_00: But um something past that, it's definitely more of a permanent thing at that point because like your joints are fully developed when you're past like the 25, 26, 27.
• 34:57
  SPEAKER_00: Um and it's it's basically just using muscle relaxers to make sure you're not in pain at that point.
• 35:04
  SPEAKER_00: He just got prescribed some of them and making sure that you're like paying attention to the way you stand always.
• 35:11
  SPEAKER_00: Um and for him, it's on top of that having the um he has degenerative discs in his back plus the scoliosis.
• 35:20
  SPEAKER_00: So we're always doing something, like one of us is always worse than the other, and right now it's my turn.
• 35:27
  SPEAKER_03: But at least it's good that you both have each other to support, you know, to support one another.
• 35:33
  SPEAKER_00: It's just hard right now.
• 35:35
  SPEAKER_00: Well, one, my car is broken, I don't get a new one until Friday.
• 35:38
  SPEAKER_00: Two, I'm the only driver.
• 35:41
  SPEAKER_00: So when the only driver is in the most amount of pain, everyone's done for that.
• 35:48
  SPEAKER_03: I don't even consider that.
• 35:50
  SPEAKER_03: And it's not like there's a lot of good public transportation, so yeah.
• 35:54
  SPEAKER_00: So a female legally cannot drive with his pots because the heart, uh, he can pass out.
• 36:02
  SPEAKER_00: Like he can just pass out because of the heart.
• 36:03
  SPEAKER_00: Okay.
• 36:04
  SPEAKER_00: All right.
• 36:05
  SPEAKER_00: And he has.
• 36:06
  SPEAKER_00: I think since he's moved in with us, he told me he's passed out like five times.
• 36:10
  SPEAKER_00: And um my husband, he just he's gonna learn how to drive, he's figuring that one out.
• 36:16
  SPEAKER_00: But his lifts sometimes are upwards of$24.
• 36:19
  SPEAKER_04: Yeah, it's a lot.
• 36:20
  SPEAKER_00: That one week I was getting to work like those three days in a row.
• 36:23
  SPEAKER_00: The one day I called out in the morning, my lift was supposed to be$47.
• 36:27
  SPEAKER_00: How can I ex how can I pay for a$47 lift when I just put$400 into a car that just kicked the bucket?
• 36:36
  SPEAKER_00: You can't.
• 36:37
  SPEAKER_03: No.
• 36:37
  SPEAKER_03: Well, and not only that, but I mean$47, and that's one way, I'm sure.
• 36:41
  SPEAKER_00: He texted me.
• 36:43
  SPEAKER_00: He he was working early one of these days at across the street, and I'm telling you$65.99.
• 36:53
  SPEAKER_03: Right.
• 36:53
  SPEAKER_03: I mean, you're not you're not even gonna make that much in the day.
• 36:56
  unknown: No!
• 36:57
  SPEAKER_03: Like you you you're going to pay to be at work.
• 37:01
  SPEAKER_00: 100%.
• 37:02
  SPEAKER_00: That's why he was like that's why he can't work mornings because they're that expensive in the morning.
• 37:07
  SPEAKER_03: Yeah, that's crazy.
• 37:10
  SPEAKER_00: I didn't even know it was that much, but I mean, I know that they were a lot, but for my husband to get to Metro Park, it's usually somewhere between 27 to 30 max, and lowest like 22, 20.
• 37:21
  SPEAKER_03: Yeah, on occasion, fine.
• 37:23
  SPEAKER_00: But to get all the way down to where we work, it's minimum$25.
• 37:30
  SPEAKER_00: Maximum 72.
• 37:32
  SPEAKER_00: Like it was crazy.
• 37:33
  SPEAKER_00: Like that morning I was getting ready to schedule it, and then I was having a problem with my CPAC and I had to fix it really quick, and then I went to go do it again, and it was$72.
• 37:41
  SPEAKER_00: I was like, what the hell?
• 37:43
  SPEAKER_03: Yeah, no.
• 37:44
  SPEAKER_03: I mean, that's kind of ridiculous.
• 37:47
  SPEAKER_03: Like you work so that you can afford to pay bills, not so you can work to get to work.
• 37:53
  SPEAKER_03: Right, pay to get to work.
• 37:54
  SPEAKER_03: Yeah.
• 37:55
  SPEAKER_03: That's crazy.
• 37:58
  SPEAKER_00: And even then, when I was buying my new car, I had to think about comfortability.
• 38:02
  SPEAKER_00: Like, I was in the middle of getting a 2024 Buick, brand new car, like only a year old, and then I found a 2022 that had more features in it, and I have to think about like what my physical needs are, like what my body needs.
• 38:16
  SPEAKER_00: Because this this the one I was getting originally was like a premium model, and it was like a step up from the normal trim.
• 38:23
  SPEAKER_00: But I found this one was also like two steps up from the normal trim.
• 38:26
  SPEAKER_00: But this person installed every package Buick offered on it.
• 38:30
  SPEAKER_02: Oh wow.
• 38:32
  SPEAKER_00: So it was older, it was like 2k cheaper for an older model, still newer than my Hyundai, which was 2020.
• 38:39
  SPEAKER_00: Doesn't really matter.
• 38:40
  SPEAKER_00: But like the features is stuff that I needed, you know what I mean, to like be able to be more comfortable, like because of like being cold all the time.
• 38:48
  SPEAKER_00: If I'm going to work, it seats makes a difference.
• 38:50
  SPEAKER_00: Steering steering wheel and heated windows.
• 38:54
  SPEAKER_03: Oh, yeah.
• 38:55
  SPEAKER_03: Heated windows.
• 38:55
  SPEAKER_03: I never heard that one.
• 38:57
  SPEAKER_00: Out in the cold, getting all the snow off, defrosting my car.
• 39:00
  SPEAKER_01: Yeah, yeah, no, it makes sense.
• 39:03
  SPEAKER_01: I gotta say, I I think I change cars like I change underwear, but the last five cars I've had have four cars have had the heated side view mirrors.
• 39:17
  SPEAKER_01: Yeah, my car has that.
• 39:19
  SPEAKER_01: I was like, I would never get I would never give it.
• 39:22
  SPEAKER_01: It's little things.
• 39:24
  SPEAKER_00: This one has um what does it have?
• 39:29
  SPEAKER_00: Um, it has the adaptive cruise control.
• 39:34
  SPEAKER_00: So if I'm on cruise control, it senses whatever cars are around me and will adjust the speed so I don't have to hit the brakes.
• 39:42
  SPEAKER_01: Yes, that's amazing.
• 39:44
  SPEAKER_01: Yeah, yeah.
• 39:44
  SPEAKER_00: I love that.
• 39:46
  SPEAKER_01: And then remote start.
• 39:48
  SPEAKER_01: Now I'm leaving for work in the morning.
• 39:50
  SPEAKER_01: I remember to turn it on.
• 39:52
  SPEAKER_01: It's when I'm leaving work in the middle, I'm like, fuck, I forgot to turn the fucking remote start on.
• 39:57
  SPEAKER_01: But but it does help when it's like right now, we're two digits below zero right now with a wind chill.
• 40:04
  SPEAKER_01: So it's I need my car to be warm because it's better because I might have been able to drive it.
• 40:10
  SPEAKER_01: Yeah, if I'm too cold, I'm like, um, yeah, my joints don't, my legs don't work.
• 40:15
  SPEAKER_01: I can't drive, yeah.
• 40:17
  SPEAKER_01: So people like it's fun.
• 40:19
  SPEAKER_01: I'm like, yeah, I like my little bells and whistles, but like to your point, sometimes it's necessary so I can do, you know, be a an adult.
• 40:29
  SPEAKER_03: Yeah, I never really considered that before.
• 40:32
  SPEAKER_03: But it makes sense.
• 40:34
  SPEAKER_00: The steering wheel was heated.
• 40:35
  SPEAKER_00: I was like, oh god, my hands.
• 40:37
  SPEAKER_00: Thank goodness I'll be safe this winter.
• 40:39
  SPEAKER_03: Well, you know, and I'm like, I know some people are like, oh my god, my heated steering wheel.
• 40:43
  SPEAKER_03: And I'm just like like I my car has I mean, you've seen my car, it's it's older than dirt.
• 40:49
  SPEAKER_03: Um it has heated seats.
• 40:53
  SPEAKER_03: The mirrors I have they do they have uh it has heated mirrors.
• 40:59
  SPEAKER_03: Yeah, you know, but like I never really thought much about heated steering wheel because I'm like, all right, but then like my back is good, like I'm warm because the seat warms up, and then once the car gets going, like I'm fine, but I never really thought your body the fastest through your fingertips and your feet.
• 41:14
  SPEAKER_03: Well, and my hands actually are always cold.
• 41:16
  SPEAKER_03: Sometimes I I lose feeling in my fingertips, especially like my middle finger and my ring fingers.
• 41:22
  SPEAKER_03: A lot of times, even when I'm working remote, I'm wearing fingerless gloves just to keep my hands warm.
• 41:28
  SPEAKER_03: But I never really thought about it in the in with respect to people who have medical issues about having their hands needing the heat in order to keep their hands mo mobile, you know.
• 41:45
  SPEAKER_03: That's a I feel like I just learned something, or I just I don't know.
• 41:51
  SPEAKER_00: Like while I was um waiting waiting for my alarm to go off, I was taking a nap, because you know, no heat in the house.
• 41:57
  SPEAKER_00: I was like, well, this is what I have to do.
• 41:59
  SPEAKER_00: Um my my hands are good now, but like my fingertips were completely pink.
• 42:04
  SPEAKER_00: They were like stuck kind of a little curled up because I like sleep with my hands like that, because of um, yeah, it's really common of what I do.
• 42:11
  SPEAKER_00: Um, my hands were like stuck like this because they were like all cold and it's like stiff.
• 42:16
  SPEAKER_01: Mm-hmm.
• 42:16
  SPEAKER_01: The cold is scary.
• 42:19
  SPEAKER_01: I remember once Chris my daughter, when she was in uh middle school here, and for some reason the bus, I don't remember, but I had to go pick her up.
• 42:29
  SPEAKER_00: It gets cold out there real fast.
• 42:30
  SPEAKER_01: It was cold and it was snowing and it's like a 10-minute 10-minute walk.
• 42:36
  SPEAKER_01: Easy breathing for a for a New Yorker.
• 42:41
  SPEAKER_01: My daughter got home five minutes before I did because I could not walk anymore.
• 42:45
  SPEAKER_01: It was like this, it's like the tin man caught in rain.
• 42:48
  SPEAKER_00: Yep.
• 42:49
  SPEAKER_01: So yeah, those little things you have to make adjustments for that nobody really notices.
• 42:54
  SPEAKER_01: But if you didn't have it, your whole fucking world is shot for the day.
• 42:59
  SPEAKER_01: Good times, happy all.
• 43:00
  SPEAKER_03: Yeah, I mean, like just listening to that.
• 43:03
  SPEAKER_03: I'm like, I've I've never even considered that fact.
• 43:07
  SPEAKER_03: Um, I guess it's ableist, right?
• 43:09
  SPEAKER_04: Because I mean it's not no, it's not ableist, yeah.
• 43:13
  SPEAKER_03: But um, I'm I'm being a little like cheeky.
• 43:15
  SPEAKER_03: Okay.
• 43:16
  SPEAKER_03: Because you cheeky?
• 43:17
  SPEAKER_03: Well, you know, sorry.
• 43:19
  SPEAKER_03: But you know, like I don't you know, it's just like one of those things where you don't know something until you know it.
• 43:26
  SPEAKER_03: But like I never even ever thought about what you know, and I'm looking at people like, oh my god, they're so spoiled with a heated steering wheel or whatever, right?
• 43:38
  SPEAKER_00: I think it's lack of exposure and lack of knowledge is all it is.
• 43:41
  SPEAKER_00: Exactly.
• 43:42
  SPEAKER_00: It's like ableism, because like for example, like um, I'll go to like something that likes personal to me, like being trans and stuff like that.
• 43:50
  SPEAKER_00: People don't know with testosterone, it'll stop your period.
• 43:54
  SPEAKER_00: And it's usually recommended that you get uh um hysterectomy at that point because you're not shedding your lining.
• 44:01
  SPEAKER_02: Huh.
• 44:02
  SPEAKER_00: And that can cause like a lot of like urinary problems, right?
• 44:05
  SPEAKER_02: Right.
• 44:06
  SPEAKER_00: Like your whole uterus can you know, you can get cancer from your lining not shedding, and that's a problem with Hashi Modas as well, because you usually have really heavy periods, and you always have to be careful of like watching that as well.
• 44:18
  SPEAKER_00: But with like testosterone, you aren't supposed to get it if you if you miss your shots, like obviously you'll get it back, it's not permanent.
• 44:25
  SPEAKER_00: But if you it's stopping it because you're not producing estrogen or you're counteracting the estrogen you're getting, and people don't know that.
• 44:32
  SPEAKER_00: So they don't know that like something like that might be a threat for someone, aka why they would do it.
• 44:37
  SPEAKER_03: Right.
• 44:38
  SPEAKER_03: Yeah.
• 44:39
  SPEAKER_03: I think it's just a good reminder that sometimes, like, including myself, we we shouldn't jump to conclusions and just we're always learning.
• 44:46
  SPEAKER_00: I think it would be different if you still felt a certain way about it.
• 44:50
  SPEAKER_00: Then that's able to know what I mean, right?
• 44:53
  SPEAKER_01: Knowing the facts and still not giving a fuck.
• 44:55
  SPEAKER_00: Then that's just ignorance, you know?
• 44:59
  SPEAKER_03: Yeah, I try to not be ignorant.
• 45:02
  SPEAKER_01: I think sometimes you overthink things so much.
• 45:05
  SPEAKER_00: Like, no, you're not being able to be such a kind person, you're so scared of not being one.
• 45:10
  SPEAKER_01: Right.
• 45:10
  SPEAKER_01: Now you're like, okay, just stop, Lisa.
• 45:12
  SPEAKER_01: It's fine.
• 45:12
  SPEAKER_01: Stop overthinking.
• 45:15
  SPEAKER_01: Stop being so perfect.
• 45:17
  SPEAKER_00: Literally, I remember I was on shift with you one day and you were running around cleaning everything.
• 45:22
  SPEAKER_00: I was like, Lisa, I can I can do the dishes.
• 45:24
  SPEAKER_00: I'm okay.
• 45:25
  SPEAKER_00: And you're like, but I'm already in the middle of it.
• 45:26
  SPEAKER_00: I was like, Lisa, you've been doing everything.
• 45:28
  SPEAKER_00: Like, I got you.
• 45:30
  SPEAKER_03: There's a goal, right?
• 45:31
  SPEAKER_03: Get out.
• 45:34
  SPEAKER_03: Go home.
• 45:36
  SPEAKER_03: If I got something, I got something.
• 45:38
  SPEAKER_03: Like, we just, yeah.
• 45:40
  SPEAKER_03: Like, I'm I'm sure that, you know, then the next time you're like, okay, I'll I'll do it.
• 45:47
  SPEAKER_03: You know, like so some people you just work with, and you're just like, like, there's some uh one person who works with us, and I'm just like, every time I work with her, I'm like, can you just leave me some work to do so that I can still have a job tomorrow?
• 46:00
  SPEAKER_03: Because if you do everything, they don't need me.
• 46:04
  SPEAKER_00: Is it on the weekends if you mind me asking?
• 46:06
  SPEAKER_03: No, it's Gina.
• 46:08
  SPEAKER_00: Oh, yeah.
• 46:08
  SPEAKER_00: Absolutely impossible.
• 46:10
  SPEAKER_00: That girl's a machine.
• 46:11
  SPEAKER_03: She is.
• 46:12
  SPEAKER_00: Her and Gina, you cannot do anything in that store when they're around.
• 46:15
  SPEAKER_00: They already got it done five years ago.
• 46:18
  SPEAKER_03: It's just how I am.
• 46:19
  SPEAKER_03: Like, I I try not to be a jerk.
• 46:23
  SPEAKER_03: I try not to, you know, receive more than I give when possible.
• 46:30
  SPEAKER_03: But everything is a learning, and I and I I appreciate people who take the time to expose me to things that I wasn't exposed to before.
• 46:42
  SPEAKER_03: Like, not because necessarily it was like, oh, I was not okay with that, and now I am.
• 46:48
  SPEAKER_00: It's just something like you didn't have before that you're glad to have now.
• 46:52
  SPEAKER_03: Right.
• 46:53
  SPEAKER_00: Like going back to like the old trans stuff, that's my big thing.
• 46:56
  SPEAKER_00: Like, I'll never be mad at someone who I know um randomly asking me a question.
• 47:01
  SPEAKER_00: You know what I mean?
• 47:02
  SPEAKER_00: Where it's like, hey, I feel safe with you.
• 47:04
  SPEAKER_00: Um, I want to ask you this.
• 47:06
  SPEAKER_00: Like, yes, please ask me so you don't ask some random on the street that, you know what I mean?
• 47:09
  SPEAKER_01: Right.
• 47:10
  SPEAKER_01: Yeah.
• 47:10
  SPEAKER_00: There's acceptable times to ask something, uh ask something of someone where it's like, so like when you're when you when you're doing it's like, oh god, please don't ask someone that you know what I mean?
• 47:20
  SPEAKER_03: Where it's like wait, what was the question?
• 47:24
  SPEAKER_00: Where it's like I was saying with trans stuff, where it's like you can ask me anything, obviously, and I'm right, but like making sure you're asking me versus some random on the street.
• 47:32
  SPEAKER_00: Like people don't have that knowledge sometimes, and they will ask some random on the street, some weird question.
• 47:37
  SPEAKER_00: It's like that's why people that's why people look at trans people sometimes and think we're like insane and crazy because someone gets mad on the street, some random is asking them something, you know what I mean?
• 47:45
  SPEAKER_01: And then asking personal questions that you wouldn't even ask your friends, but you could you think it's okay to ask a complete stranger on the street.
• 47:54
  SPEAKER_00: But then even on top of that, I also have the vice versa where it's like some people are mad over questions they should be getting asked.
• 48:00
  SPEAKER_00: You know what I mean?
• 48:01
  SPEAKER_00: Where it's like, if you've seen we we talk about it all the time at home, you've seen my roommate, right?
• 48:07
  SPEAKER_00: The one with like the kind of greenish hair that works across the street every now and then.
• 48:10
  SPEAKER_00: I think the one time when we did like the setup yeah, so exactly on Red Day.
• 48:16
  SPEAKER_00: Um he is so okay with correcting people about his pronouns because he doesn't wear a binder, he still wears makeup, um, because he can't bind because of his chest, he has some heart problems.
• 48:28
  SPEAKER_00: Um and he's like, oh, just letting you know my pronouns are this, this, this.
• 48:33
  SPEAKER_00: I don't know if anyone told you.
• 48:35
  SPEAKER_00: I'm not mad.
• 48:36
  SPEAKER_00: I feel like on popular painting, I'm ranting here, you shouldn't be mad at someone not knowing your pronouns just by looking at you.
• 48:45
  SPEAKER_00: That's it's so unfair.
• 48:47
  SPEAKER_00: And I feel like there's uh selfishness in the community about making people assume things.
• 48:54
  SPEAKER_00: Like I go by he him pronouns at work.
• 48:57
  SPEAKER_00: I don't identify as a guy at all.
• 49:00
  SPEAKER_00: I go by they them.
• 49:02
  SPEAKER_00: But like you would not expect that from looking at me if you hung out with me outside of the house.
• 49:07
  SPEAKER_00: I wear dresses, like I wear a wig because I like my longer hair more, and I'm like growing it out again.
• 49:12
  SPEAKER_00: Like, you would know, quote unquote, that I'm a little funky.
• 49:16
  SPEAKER_00: But at work, you could ask Lisa, I wear a regular black button-up, regular black bands, I look like an everyday dude.
• 49:24
  SPEAKER_03: Right.
• 49:24
  SPEAKER_03: Like, yeah, I didn't, I mean, I honestly I didn't know until you told me.
• 49:28
  SPEAKER_00: Exactly.
• 49:28
  SPEAKER_00: That's the point.
• 49:29
  SPEAKER_00: Why get mad at someone if it's it's the truth, you do just look regular, you know what I mean?
• 49:35
  SPEAKER_00: Like, it's not a bad thing to not pass, and I feel like that's such a crazy um I'm so far out from where we were talking about, but it's like no, this is how we usually go.
• 49:45
  SPEAKER_01: We this is the purpose of the show, it's about you.
• 49:47
  SPEAKER_01: We go to tangents, and it's fine.
• 49:50
  SPEAKER_00: It's like it's so okay to not be standard and like someone to ask you a question.
• 49:55
  SPEAKER_00: Because why is that question bad?
• 49:57
  SPEAKER_00: That's just them trying to respect you, right?
• 49:59
  SPEAKER_00: It's just obviously some people aren't and they're being rude about it, but you know when the intent is good and not from a malicious point.
• 50:07
  SPEAKER_03: Yeah.
• 50:08
  SPEAKER_03: I mean, it was like one of the first shifts that we worked together.
• 50:11
  SPEAKER_00: Oh, yeah, because I were like full disclosure, I'm trans.
• 50:14
  SPEAKER_00: I go by they them.
• 50:15
  SPEAKER_00: You might have forgotten.
• 50:15
  SPEAKER_00: I think I did tell I might have said he, him.
• 50:17
  SPEAKER_00: I don't remember, but I moved.
• 50:18
  SPEAKER_03: No, you said they, they them.
• 50:20
  SPEAKER_00: Okay, yeah.
• 50:20
  SPEAKER_00: I was like, oh yeah, I do go by they them, I'm transgender.
• 50:22
  SPEAKER_00: If you have any questions, please ask me.
• 50:24
  SPEAKER_00: I love answering them.
• 50:25
  SPEAKER_00: Like, I'm so transparent.
• 50:27
  SPEAKER_03: I was washing dishes.
• 50:29
  SPEAKER_00: Because we were on our way.
• 50:31
  SPEAKER_03: It was like so matter-of-fact, like, okay, cool.
• 50:33
  SPEAKER_00: Yeah, it's like it's a part of my regular day life because sometimes this trans stuff actually does affect my everyday life.
• 50:39
  SPEAKER_00: Like, we might get a rude customer, and like I have like a tattoo of the trans flag on my arm.
• 50:44
  SPEAKER_00: And before you started working with us, I did have someone say something to me.
• 50:47
  SPEAKER_04: Really?
• 50:48
  SPEAKER_00: Um, yeah.
• 50:49
  SPEAKER_00: And then because of my cop surgery, um, I think you've seen me like curl up before because of pain.
• 50:56
  SPEAKER_00: Um, my left side, I had some micro atrophy.
• 50:59
  SPEAKER_00: So if I twist the wrong way, the muscles on my left peck uh like shock.
• 51:05
  SPEAKER_00: And um I just have like a lot of nerve damage from that exact thing.
• 51:10
  SPEAKER_00: And then um, when they were taking off the medical adhesive, which is kind of like sanoderm or whatever, I didn't know I was allergic to band-aids.
• 51:19
  SPEAKER_00: So when they took it off, it was from here down to my stomach, it left a red mark, and now I have um skin on both sides that are like super tender and just permanently always inflammated because I didn't know I was allergic and it was on me for three weeks.
• 51:35
  SPEAKER_01: Oh shit.
• 51:36
  SPEAKER_00: Oh, yeah, with top surgery, the first week it's basically you and your drains.
• 51:41
  SPEAKER_00: If you're not done by the second week draining enough blood, you have to keep it in for a third.
• 51:46
  SPEAKER_03: Holy cow.
• 51:50
  SPEAKER_03: Would would I mean we can cut this out if the answer is no, but you're comfortable talking about what that's like?
• 51:56
  SPEAKER_00: 100%.
• 51:57
  SPEAKER_00: Okay.
• 51:58
  SPEAKER_00: You ask me anything.
• 51:58
  SPEAKER_03: No, I I know, but I know I can ask you anything, but I don't know if something I mean, it's and listen, it's not like we have millions and millions of but I want to be respectful.
• 52:09
  SPEAKER_03: Like, if you're not comfortable, it's fine.
• 52:11
  SPEAKER_03: You can say no.
• 52:12
  SPEAKER_03: No is a full sentence, as Alex loves to as Agnes loves to say.
• 52:16
  SPEAKER_01: I love that.
• 52:16
  SPEAKER_01: Like, I'm good for that.
• 52:18
  SPEAKER_01: Nope.
• 52:18
  SPEAKER_01: I was good.
• 52:19
  SPEAKER_01: And then walk away, move on.
• 52:23
  SPEAKER_00: Yeah, no, I'm totally cool.
• 52:24
  SPEAKER_00: Ask whatever you want.
• 52:26
  SPEAKER_03: No, just like what what's it like, you know, to for like I guess the process, like from deciding that that's what you want to do to the execution.
• 52:36
  SPEAKER_03: Okay.
• 52:36
  SPEAKER_00: So we got done by the same surgeon.
• 52:38
  SPEAKER_00: We went to Jonathan Keith and Livingston.
• 52:40
  SPEAKER_00: He's one of like the first people who performed a surgery in this area at all.
• 52:44
  SPEAKER_00: I think maybe in the whole United States.
• 52:46
  SPEAKER_00: I'm not sure, could be wrong, but at least the first in Jersey minimum.
• 52:51
  SPEAKER_00: He went a month before me.
• 52:52
  SPEAKER_00: He was June 21st, that was July 21st.
• 52:56
  SPEAKER_00: And um in two days, that man was just on Tylenol and walking around like nothing happened.
• 53:05
  SPEAKER_00: Um, me not knowing I had autoimmune issues, I was down in the count for like two months.
• 53:11
  SPEAKER_00: Um and I didn't know.
• 53:13
  SPEAKER_00: Um, again, this is why I'm like suspicious that I might have EDS, that um your skin's really stretchy stretchy for something like that.
• 53:22
  SPEAKER_00: And um if your skin is damaged, it won't heal well, and the scars might not be great.
• 53:30
  SPEAKER_00: I didn't heal my stitches very well, so like I still had some popping out of my left peck a little bit.
• 53:36
  SPEAKER_00: We're supposed to dissolve, and um, my underarms didn't close at all.
• 53:41
  SPEAKER_00: They had to take the stitches out, and um, I had to they closed enough, but I had to put um aqui on them for like another extra month in order to get them to heal.
• 53:53
  SPEAKER_00: And like they're like this thick of stitch uh a scar versus my other ones being like paper thin.
• 53:57
  SPEAKER_03: Yeah, so you're showing like about two inches versus like a quarter inch.
• 54:02
  SPEAKER_00: Not even a quarter inch, like two like three millimeters.
• 54:05
  SPEAKER_00: Like the scars on my chest are so thin and you know blown out in a place or two because of some tissue damage, but the rest of it's perfectly fine.
• 54:15
  SPEAKER_03: Was that this year or or how long ago?
• 54:17
  SPEAKER_00: That was we both got it in 2021.
• 54:19
  SPEAKER_03: Okay, okay.
• 54:20
  SPEAKER_00: And um with an a month in, I want to say maybe two months in, I was taking oxy every day.
• 54:27
  SPEAKER_00: I was in so much pain.
• 54:28
  SPEAKER_00: Wow, thank god nothing came of that.
• 54:30
  SPEAKER_00: You never know.
• 54:31
  SPEAKER_01: Yeah, yeah.
• 54:32
  SPEAKER_00: But um, yeah, no, I was in so much pain, I could feel my chest throbbing from the inside while I was trying to sleep.
• 54:39
  SPEAKER_03: How long did that pain last or or did it go away?
• 54:43
  SPEAKER_00: Um, it went away.
• 54:44
  SPEAKER_00: I want to say I got in in July.
• 54:46
  SPEAKER_00: Um, by the end of August, I was mid-August, I was okay.
• 54:50
  SPEAKER_04: Okay.
• 54:50
  SPEAKER_00: But like you can't lift anything.
• 54:53
  SPEAKER_00: It's like, I think nothing more than five pounds, and then they move you up to like 15.
• 54:57
  SPEAKER_00: But at that point, since it wasn't closed, I couldn't even do that 15.
• 55:01
  SPEAKER_00: So then I ended up with the muscle atrophy.
• 55:03
  SPEAKER_00: Because you still had to work those muscles, but you couldn't because you had the wow, and even then, I didn't even know about the Hashimoto's at that point, so the healing process could have been slowed down about that, and five other things who know I even have, you know what I mean?
• 55:20
  SPEAKER_01: Right.
• 55:21
  SPEAKER_01: Like, do you ever feel like what the fuck?
• 55:24
  SPEAKER_00: Like, oh yeah, like when you were talking about the sneezing, I was like, geez, Jesus Christ, Jesus Christ on toast.
• 55:32
  SPEAKER_00: Not another one.
• 55:34
  SPEAKER_03: Yeah, I mean, I'm not gonna complain about the pain when I sneeze anymore.
• 55:41
  SPEAKER_01: But you can, we can suffer together until I I tell her together when you finally come back to work.
• 55:46
  SPEAKER_00: I hate trauma Olympics.
• 55:48
  SPEAKER_01: I tell her that all the time.
• 55:49
  SPEAKER_01: I'm like, just because yours is zipping than mine doesn't mean yours or mine is not real.
• 55:53
  SPEAKER_01: You know, everyone has different levels, right?
• 55:56
  SPEAKER_01: And it's okay.
• 55:56
  SPEAKER_01: So like I know, but some people sneezing, damn it.
• 56:00
  SPEAKER_03: Listen, if if if you stub your toe while I'm laying on the floor with a broken ankle, I'm not gonna minimize your pain, right?
• 56:10
  SPEAKER_03: I was gonna be like, I'm sorry for you, but right now I've I can't I just can't, right?
• 56:14
  SPEAKER_03: Like, but I can't like no your audience at the same time, but you still will not perceive things that way.
• 56:24
  SPEAKER_03: Some people, if I say, Oh, like I'm I'm having really bad back issues or whatever, it's like you know, like they brush you off.
• 56:32
  SPEAKER_00: Oh, yeah.
• 56:32
  SPEAKER_00: I got told by you know, um, you know, we're all in pain right now.
• 56:36
  SPEAKER_00: How dare you?
• 56:37
  SPEAKER_00: Oh yeah.
• 56:39
  SPEAKER_00: I could show you pain, like yeah, no, that that that was so really uncalled for.
• 56:44
  SPEAKER_00: Oh, yeah, it was like way past my shift, 15 minutes, and I stayed still to defrost things.
• 56:50
  SPEAKER_00: We were left alone for like two hours, by the way, because he went to go get milk.
• 56:54
  SPEAKER_03: Yeah, because we're always running out of milk.
• 56:56
  SPEAKER_00: Yep, uh-huh.
• 56:57
  SPEAKER_00: And um, I was crying.
• 56:59
  SPEAKER_00: My my that's when I didn't know I had to pinch nerve at that point.
• 57:02
  SPEAKER_00: It was when I was starting to suspect, but I just found out about the hernia, and he was like, you know, you just really need an accommodation for that.
• 57:08
  SPEAKER_00: I was like, dude, like I understand, I need it today.
• 57:12
  SPEAKER_00: I'm on fire.
• 57:12
  SPEAKER_00: He's like, you know, we're just all in a lot of pain.
• 57:14
  SPEAKER_01: I was like, huh, oh excuse you, excuse you.
• 57:21
  SPEAKER_03: It's stuff like that, you know.
• 57:23
  SPEAKER_00: It just comes across as such a people who have never had a prolonged issue in their life expressing something like that is crazy.
• 57:36
  SPEAKER_01: And my favorite is well, you know, it could be worse.
• 57:41
  SPEAKER_01: You're absolutely right, it could be worse, but right now I'm at my personal worst.
• 57:46
  SPEAKER_01: Let me bitch.
• 57:47
  SPEAKER_01: Let me bitch, let me moan, and then I'll get over it.
• 57:50
  SPEAKER_01: But the fuck, do you want me to be dying before you give me sympathy?
• 57:54
  SPEAKER_00: Exactly.
• 57:54
  SPEAKER_00: But that's my whole thing.
• 57:55
  SPEAKER_00: Like, I don't I don't talk about it to like almost like who just anyone, but like I was like, yeah, you don't know that like I'm like if I go out of the house now, I have to use a cane.
• 58:04
  SPEAKER_00: Like my my knees are in so much pain, my ankle, my back hurts when I'm like putting pressure on it.
• 58:09
  SPEAKER_00: Like, I have to help get dressed like do you do you re- are we all in pain?
• 58:13
  SPEAKER_00: Because I think uh like if we're playing trauma Olympics over here, you're like, right.
• 58:18
  SPEAKER_01: You might win.
• 58:19
  SPEAKER_01: I have a question definitely totally off topic playing off topic, but not off topic.
• 58:24
  SPEAKER_01: Do you have a disability placard?
• 58:27
  SPEAKER_01: No, I talked to my doctor about getting that.
• 58:28
  SPEAKER_01: Get one.
• 58:29
  SPEAKER_01: You don't please do that.
• 58:31
  SPEAKER_01: You don't need yeah, okay.
• 58:32
  SPEAKER_01: Just want to throw that in there.
• 58:33
  SPEAKER_01: I tell everyone about it.
• 58:35
  SPEAKER_00: Um, I think I had an appointment last month on the 28th.
• 58:39
  SPEAKER_00: Uh, we were talking, I was like, is that something I can acquire because of um the Hashimoto's?
• 58:46
  unknown: Yeah.
• 58:47
  SPEAKER_00: And he was like, yeah, that is something you can acquire.
• 58:49
  SPEAKER_00: But also on top of like Hashimoto's, I have like, you know, other things like everything else is going on, right?
• 58:55
  SPEAKER_00: Like that's something like you can also acquire for that.
• 58:57
  SPEAKER_00: Because um a lot of the times um it's just faster to get to your car if you start like having issues.
• 59:04
  SPEAKER_01: So yeah, that was I I didn't learn how to drive until I moved to Wisconsin.
• 59:09
  SPEAKER_01: So I learned how to drive about 12 years ago, 12, 13 years ago.
• 59:14
  SPEAKER_01: Um, I was in a process of applying for disability, but I wasn't approved yet.
• 59:19
  SPEAKER_01: My doctor goes, Do you want your disability plague?
• 59:21
  SPEAKER_01: I'm like, I can get one.
• 59:22
  SPEAKER_01: He's like, Yeah, the fuck.
• 59:24
  SPEAKER_01: I was like, Okay, that thank you.
• 59:27
  SPEAKER_01: And I don't even think I don't might be different for different states, but I don't even think she had to even give the reason, like the medical diagnosis.
• 59:35
  SPEAKER_01: Yeah, here you you have to.
• 59:36
  SPEAKER_01: Okay, she's like, she can't walk, or she can't, like, she can't, she's unable to.
• 59:41
  SPEAKER_01: Best thing ever, and that's why I drive myself everywhere.
• 59:44
  SPEAKER_01: So I have my plate.
• 59:46
  SPEAKER_01: I have that's definitely one of the temple do it and use it even when you don't think you need it.
• 59:53
  SPEAKER_00: You never know when you're gonna have a flare up in the middle of walking.
• 59:55
  SPEAKER_00: You really don't right.
• 59:57
  SPEAKER_03: Exactly.
• 59:58
  SPEAKER_03: I mean, I have one, a temporary one for my ankle, and it's true.
• 1:00:04
  SPEAKER_03: It's you know, there's so many times where I'm parking and it's like, oh, it's nice, like I'm parked right up front, but but I need it because I'm limping, you know, or it's you know, especially when it's cold and then I can't breathe on top of that.
• 1:00:18
  SPEAKER_00: It's like and then it's always so annoying though, because you're always worried about, oh, like, oh, I know someone's a you know, you always see those horror stories online where it's like, oh yes, someone came up to me in my car, or I was using the disabled stall and someone was fighting with me over it, and I didn't look disabled.
• 1:00:32
  SPEAKER_00: That's like I can't move my ankles right now, like right.
• 1:00:38
  SPEAKER_01: I've gotten my biggest fear too.
• 1:00:40
  SPEAKER_01: When I I haven't gotten the looks yet, I as so wait, when I was I was 31, 32, when I got my plate, and I'm like, oh, they're gonna give me a fucking problem.
• 1:00:51
  SPEAKER_01: They're gonna give me a fucking problem.
• 1:00:53
  SPEAKER_01: And so I haven't had any problems yet.
• 1:00:55
  SPEAKER_01: At least nothing that no one, nothing I've noticed.
• 1:00:59
  SPEAKER_01: But then I see like these 90-year-old women, these 90-year-olds, and they're just booking it.
• 1:01:02
  SPEAKER_01: I'm like, okay, fine, make me feel bad.
• 1:01:06
  SPEAKER_01: Because there's this they're in peak health, mowing the lawn and everything.
• 1:01:10
  SPEAKER_00: I'm like, bitch, all right, well, I sleep for the wrong way in bed, and I'm like, ah, there goes my shoulder.
• 1:01:16
  SPEAKER_01: Right.
• 1:01:18
  SPEAKER_01: Or you get up too fast, you're like, okay, that was a big mistake.
• 1:01:21
  SPEAKER_01: I don't know.
• 1:01:23
  SPEAKER_00: All the all the pressures on my ankles now.
• 1:01:25
  SPEAKER_00: That's don't worry.
• 1:01:27
  SPEAKER_01: And the funny part is when they tell you stretch before you get out of the bed, I think I hurt myself stretching once.
• 1:01:31
  SPEAKER_01: I was just like, oh fuck, oh, oh.
• 1:01:38
  SPEAKER_01: Try to be good and proactive.
• 1:01:40
  SPEAKER_03: I know fucking shit up.
• 1:01:42
  SPEAKER_03: One one thing I have learned about handicapped placards in Jersey is that I I feel like there's not enough uh parking spots to keep up with all the handicapped people.
• 1:01:53
  SPEAKER_03: They oh they give they give them away like handy, huh?
• 1:01:55
  SPEAKER_03: Apparently.
• 1:01:57
  SPEAKER_03: But not not to me, because when I was like, can I get a permanent one?
• 1:02:00
  SPEAKER_03: Because I feel like this is never this pain is never gonna go away because it's been a year and a half now, and it still hurts like it did then.
• 1:02:11
  SPEAKER_03: And they're like, Well, we'll give you another temporary.
• 1:02:14
  SPEAKER_03: So you so you think that it's gonna get better now?
• 1:02:17
  SPEAKER_03: You think that if it didn't feel better in the year, it's gonna feel better now.
• 1:02:21
  SPEAKER_03: But okay.
• 1:02:22
  SPEAKER_03: I mean, you know, whatever.
• 1:02:25
  SPEAKER_03: Whatever.
• 1:02:26
  SPEAKER_03: And I can't say how many times I go, and and there's no spots.
• 1:02:29
  SPEAKER_03: There's no spots, like to places.
• 1:02:32
  SPEAKER_00: It's funny because when I was talking about this issue to our manager, he was like, hasn't you been feeling like this for a year?
• 1:02:38
  SPEAKER_00: I was like, Oh yeah, it's almost as if I didn't know about it and just got diagnosed, so I was in pain.
• 1:02:42
  SPEAKER_00: Yeah.
• 1:02:43
  SPEAKER_00: He was like, Okay, just making sure.
• 1:02:44
  SPEAKER_00: I was like, huh.
• 1:02:46
  SPEAKER_01: Translation.
• 1:02:47
  SPEAKER_01: Are you b they're like, are you really is this really happening?
• 1:02:51
  SPEAKER_01: Are you just imagining it?
• 1:02:52
  SPEAKER_01: Go fuck yourself.
• 1:02:54
  SPEAKER_01: Right.
• 1:02:54
  SPEAKER_03: And I know that it's so, but it's so common for people who have a chronic illness or more or autoimmune to go undiagnosed, even if you're actively seeking an answer and a diagnosis.
• 1:03:09
  SPEAKER_03: I feel like it's so common for doctors with the doctors too.
• 1:03:13
  SPEAKER_00: Oh my god, how long did it take me to get that sleep apnea machine?
• 1:03:16
  SPEAKER_00: I saw the doctor October 1st and I didn't get it until November 7th.
• 1:03:21
  SPEAKER_00: And that's actually pretty good time, actually.
• 1:03:23
  SPEAKER_00: But that's the sad part.
• 1:03:25
  SPEAKER_00: Well, the problem was taking that long, I had the highest instances a night that some people have seen.
• 1:03:32
  SPEAKER_00: Like, a normal amount to be worried about is 30 an hour.
• 1:03:36
  SPEAKER_00: 144.
• 1:03:38
  SPEAKER_00: I stopped breathing three times a minute.
• 1:03:41
  SPEAKER_03: And you're giving the thumbs up.
• 1:03:43
  SPEAKER_00: Yeah, so it made why I was falling asleep at the wheel, like at work, like you could ask Lisa when she but I didn't have the machine until about I think a month into you working with me.
• 1:03:56
  SPEAKER_00: I was like falling asleep at the desk.
• 1:03:59
  SPEAKER_00: Like it was a running joke, and everyone knows that like that's not what I do, but like I would and then um I'm here, I'm here, I'm awake, I'm here.
• 1:04:09
  SPEAKER_01: Well, my coworker was like, Oh, do you need to look on that?
• 1:04:11
  SPEAKER_00: I was like, Yeah, I need to like you know, everyone knows that's like not like me to have all these issues because it almost came out of nowhere.
• 1:04:19
  SPEAKER_00: I started last year, and like I was quote unquote fine, and that's just like a slow everything kind of trickling in.
• 1:04:26
  SPEAKER_03: Yeah, and I feel like you know, you go into the doctor and you're like, hey, and this is what I'm experiencing, and maybe not in every case, right?
• 1:04:34
  SPEAKER_03: But in so many cases, they start with the small, like they don't immediately jump to the big things.
• 1:04:40
  SPEAKER_00: And so, like, I'm so lucky, just like she was saying, that I got amazing doctors off the bat.
• 1:04:45
  SPEAKER_00: I was like, I can't breathe.
• 1:04:46
  SPEAKER_00: They're like, and I'm like, what symptoms do you have?
• 1:04:48
  SPEAKER_00: Well, I have this, this, this, this.
• 1:04:49
  SPEAKER_00: Okay, let's get you GERD medication.
• 1:04:50
  SPEAKER_00: You have post-nasal drip, so that's probably hurting your stomach, and then let's get you the sleep study because you're falling asleep.
• 1:04:57
  SPEAKER_00: Got got the diagnosis, and then I went to my primary care, who was also an endocrinologist, luckily.
• 1:05:02
  SPEAKER_00: So he was able to help me with all of the hormone stuff instantly, along with my testosterone.
• 1:05:07
  SPEAKER_00: He was like, Yeah, you that's a problem.
• 1:05:10
  SPEAKER_00: So I figured it all out in two weeks.
• 1:05:12
  SPEAKER_01: Wow.
• 1:05:14
  SPEAKER_01: And I I think sometimes I don't care how bad the diagnosis is, getting an answer is a relief.
• 1:05:22
  SPEAKER_01: You're like, that's what I'm saying.
• 1:05:23
  SPEAKER_00: Like, fucking god clear that this is what's going on, but it is great to know that you're not crazy, right?
• 1:05:31
  SPEAKER_01: Right, and like, okay, now we can make moves to rectify it's this just knowing what the fuck is going on, and someone actually believes you, and you you can fix it or mitigate it more likely.
• 1:05:43
  SPEAKER_00: There's no reason why everything hurts all the time.
• 1:05:47
  SPEAKER_00: People don't have this issue.
• 1:05:49
  SPEAKER_00: They're like, Yeah, you're right, they don't.
• 1:05:50
  SPEAKER_00: Here, here you go.
• 1:05:52
  SPEAKER_00: Like, why why am I in pain when I'm sneezing?
• 1:05:54
  SPEAKER_00: That's it's still crazy to me.
• 1:05:55
  SPEAKER_05: Why don't I think stupid?
• 1:06:00
  SPEAKER_04: I'm so angry.
• 1:06:04
  SPEAKER_03: It's true at all.
• 1:06:05
  SPEAKER_03: It's true, you know.
• 1:06:07
  SPEAKER_03: And I I feel like how many people would have a symptom and go to a doctor, and a doctor would be like, Well, did you get enough sleep?
• 1:06:14
  SPEAKER_03: Did you eat right?
• 1:06:16
  SPEAKER_03: And and if you have weight on you, it's like, well, maybe you should lose weight.
• 1:06:19
  SPEAKER_00: Like they're oh, yeah, it's like for depression.
• 1:06:21
  SPEAKER_00: Go on a walk.
• 1:06:22
  SPEAKER_00: Shut up.
• 1:06:24
  SPEAKER_01: If I can get if I Had the if I had the will to go for a walk, I wouldn't be sitting here with you right now.
• 1:06:30
  SPEAKER_01: Right.
• 1:06:31
  SPEAKER_03: And also, like, okay, go for a walk.
• 1:06:33
  SPEAKER_03: If a doctor told me go for a walk, I'm gonna be like, well, it's it's cold outside.
• 1:06:37
  SPEAKER_03: Number one.
• 1:06:38
  SPEAKER_03: Number two, that will hurt my ankle.
• 1:06:41
  SPEAKER_03: So there's that.
• 1:06:43
  SPEAKER_03: And also, I'm asthmatic, and the cold is a trigger.
• 1:06:47
  SPEAKER_03: So me going for a walk to cue going to kill my depression is going to mean that when I get home, now I'm even in more pain.
• 1:06:54
  SPEAKER_03: So I need to pop a painkiller for my ankle.
• 1:06:57
  SPEAKER_03: I need my inhaler.
• 1:07:00
  SPEAKER_00: Exactly.
• 1:07:01
  SPEAKER_03: Yeah, you need you.
• 1:07:02
  SPEAKER_03: We definitely need more doctors who are willing to hear all the background and all the history before they are like, yeah, just do this, you know.
• 1:07:14
  SPEAKER_00: And people don't realize like losing bodily autonomy is a really big effect, too.
• 1:07:19
  SPEAKER_00: Like, for me, like I'm I the stairs, my house is old that I rent, and it has like those Victorian stairs, those really steep ones.
• 1:07:28
  SPEAKER_00: Well, with my body, how am I gonna do that?
• 1:07:30
  SPEAKER_00: Um, so the worse the pain is, the more my husband has to do for me.
• 1:07:35
  SPEAKER_00: And I feel like a child, I feel like so infantized.
• 1:07:38
  SPEAKER_00: As someone who used to do 90% of like all of the cooking, a lot of the kitchen stuff.
• 1:07:42
  SPEAKER_00: I would like be the one like going everywhere and running around.
• 1:07:46
  SPEAKER_00: I can't do that anymore.
• 1:07:48
  SPEAKER_00: And it feels like you don't feel like a person, you feel like now you're a child and you need to depend on people.
• 1:07:54
  SPEAKER_00: It doesn't feel good when you're so used to being the caregiver and now you're getting taken care of.
• 1:08:01
  SPEAKER_00: It feels so bad.
• 1:08:05
  SPEAKER_03: I experienced that when my ankle was broken, and after I I was non-weight bearing for six weeks after surgery.
• 1:08:13
  SPEAKER_03: And you know, like the first couple of days, it's like, okay, great.
• 1:08:16
  SPEAKER_03: Like people are bringing me food and they're making sure I have everything, but after the first couple of days, you just feel like a burden.
• 1:08:24
  SPEAKER_03: You just are like, uh it hurts to go to the bathroom.
• 1:08:27
  SPEAKER_03: I can't wash my own clothes, I can't make my own food, I can't do anything for myself.
• 1:08:33
  SPEAKER_00: I have to buy so many things to be able to do able-bodied things now.
• 1:08:36
  SPEAKER_00: Like, I need a seat in the bathroom because my back hurts when I stand up for too long, or my hips will start hurting.
• 1:08:42
  SPEAKER_00: Like right now, I'm like wiggling every two seconds because my hips are hurting.
• 1:08:45
  SPEAKER_00: Um a little bit of TMI, but like I need a bidet now because moving my arms is I'm in so much pain sometimes, and the weight gain's so insane that like it's really struggling to move, and I need to make sure I'm clean, you know what I mean?
• 1:09:00
  SPEAKER_00: Where it's like I need like extenders for like the loofahs in the shower because I can't move my arms certain ways because either the pain or the weight gain stops me from being as mobile as I can.
• 1:09:11
  SPEAKER_04: Yeah.
• 1:09:12
  SPEAKER_00: And like, you know, you you you don't think that eventually that's what's gonna happen, and then you get there and you're like, God, this is a bad feeling.
• 1:09:22
  SPEAKER_01: And it's really easy to slip into a depression and even realize it.
• 1:09:27
  SPEAKER_01: You look up, you're like, why am I so Mike?
• 1:09:30
  SPEAKER_01: I had a moment of depression, but mine came out as anger.
• 1:09:34
  SPEAKER_01: I could have, and it's easy to fall into that trap.
• 1:09:38
  SPEAKER_01: And you're like you look up, you're like, what the fuck?
• 1:09:42
  SPEAKER_00: Because I have the autism and the bipolar, so it's either hyper analyzing and being rude to yourself or complete like defiance and lashing out.
• 1:09:54
  SPEAKER_00: Like I remember I was having a really hard time with my uh CPAP because I have a bipap, and that means double pressure, it's different pressure for breathing and inhaling.
• 1:10:03
  SPEAKER_02: Okay.
• 1:10:04
  SPEAKER_00: And there was one night where it there was a leak somewhere in it, and it kept turning off.
• 1:10:10
  SPEAKER_00: And I think I cried so hard that night because I couldn't figure it out.
• 1:10:13
  SPEAKER_00: And me and my husband were sitting there for an hour trying to fix it.
• 1:10:17
  SPEAKER_00: I I crashed out so hard.
• 1:10:18
  SPEAKER_00: I was sobbing because I just wanted to sleep.
• 1:10:22
  SPEAKER_00: And that's happened, I think, at least three times with that sleep app where something went wrong, something kept going wrong, it would adjust weird in my sleep, and I couldn't fix it to the point where I just got so overwhelmed I'd start crying because God sleep, just want to sleep.
• 1:10:37
  SPEAKER_01: I'm not asking for the world, I just want to sleep.
• 1:10:39
  SPEAKER_01: And it's like, why can't I just have that?
• 1:10:42
  SPEAKER_00: And you get to the point where like you're crying, and it goes from like being mad at yourself to being mad at everything, yeah.
• 1:10:49
  SPEAKER_00: And then anyone that tries to help you, you're like, I don't want the help anymore.
• 1:10:52
  SPEAKER_00: I'm whatever, I'm over it, leave me alone.
• 1:10:55
  SPEAKER_00: Uh like you know what I mean?
• 1:10:56
  SPEAKER_00: And like it's I've been mean to him plenty of times because love him to death, love him to death.
• 1:11:00
  SPEAKER_00: I'm I get really overwhelmed, and he's trying to help me, and it overwhelms him too, because I'm because of autism, defiant and like aggressive, because you just get so overwhelmed that it can't be fixed, and like a big thing with autism is like being able to like have stability and control and like a schedule, and then something messes that up and it's all it's over.
• 1:11:21
  SPEAKER_00: Yeah, because there was one night I was missing that uh CPAP, and I went to sleep fine, but I woke up.
• 1:11:28
  SPEAKER_00: The tube was out of my mask, it was just on the floor, and then the seal every time I tried to fix it wouldn't seal to my face, and took it off, and I got so angry.
• 1:11:37
  SPEAKER_00: It's just it's oh dealing with like self-deprecation because you can't take care of yourself and being sad and being angry that you're not where you used to be, even though none of it's your fault.
• 1:11:50
  SPEAKER_03: Right, right.
• 1:11:51
  SPEAKER_03: And even in my case, I knew it was temporary and it was still miserable.
• 1:11:57
  SPEAKER_03: Like the there was no okay, there's a light at the end of the tunnel, and and I know I'm gonna get there, and it's only a few months.
• 1:12:07
  SPEAKER_03: It was miserable, and I remember doing a lot of thinking, like, Jesus, like I feel like such an asshole because I'm so miserable in this temporary setback.
• 1:12:21
  SPEAKER_03: How do people live like this every day?
• 1:12:25
  SPEAKER_03: And like, how much of an asshole do I feel now?
• 1:12:28
  SPEAKER_01: Because that's how we get through as an alcohol, that's how we get through it.
• 1:12:32
  SPEAKER_03: Yeah, but you know, like I felt like such a jerk afterwards because I'm like, my god, like this was so hard for me.
• 1:12:37
  SPEAKER_03: Imagine how hard it is for people who who will not get past it.
• 1:12:44
  SPEAKER_00: It's not a disability, but I don't have one.
• 1:12:46
  SPEAKER_00: Imagine being a thief who doesn't can't legally drive, that no matter what has to pay for these lifts.
• 1:12:53
  SPEAKER_00: I'm suffering for three days and getting angry, and sometimes this man has to eat$52 because there's nothing left when we close, and man has to get home.
• 1:13:03
  SPEAKER_00: He can't sit sit out there at night.
• 1:13:05
  SPEAKER_00: And then if I opened already, I'm asleep at 10 o'clock and I can't go get him.
• 1:13:09
  SPEAKER_00: And like you realize that you're like, oh man, like I'm mad over a week.
• 1:13:12
  SPEAKER_00: This is like this guy's every day.
• 1:13:15
  SPEAKER_00: Yeah.
• 1:13:16
  SPEAKER_03: Yeah.
• 1:13:17
  SPEAKER_03: Sometimes it takes us to experience things for ourselves, unfortunately, before we can see another perspective.
• 1:13:24
  SPEAKER_01: But I wish it wasn't so, but that's a sign of but that's just the learning process.
• 1:13:29
  SPEAKER_01: That's just what we do as adults.
• 1:13:31
  SPEAKER_01: And a sign of an intelligent person, intelligence and emotional intelligence, is taking that and learning from it.
• 1:13:45
  SPEAKER_01: So is that the fact that you didn't like you said before, you don't know until you know, and you learn from it, and that's what emotional intelligence is.
• 1:13:54
  SPEAKER_01: So stop being so hard on yourself.
• 1:13:57
  SPEAKER_00: I'm gonna pause my camera really quick because oh, I cannot sit any longer.
• 1:14:03
  SPEAKER_00: My legs hurt and and that's the whole thing where it's like, well, you can only do so many things for so long before before something else breaks down.
• 1:14:12
  SPEAKER_01: You're like, yeah.
• 1:14:14
  SPEAKER_03: Yeah, well, we we can start wrapping up.
• 1:14:17
  SPEAKER_03: Um, I know you probably need to rest, and I don't wanna I don't want to make you uncomfortable.
• 1:14:23
  SPEAKER_00: Oh, you're not.
• 1:14:24
  SPEAKER_00: Don't worry about it.
• 1:14:27
  SPEAKER_00: Um, but we appreciate you all cozy, cozy in bed.
• 1:14:31
  SPEAKER_03: Okay, you must that's genius.
• 1:14:34
  SPEAKER_03: I'm jealous now.
• 1:14:35
  unknown: Big time.
• 1:14:39
  SPEAKER_03: So I'm thinking uh whenever we get to that potluck after dark, I think Kasim is ready.
• 1:14:44
  SPEAKER_03: Yeah, you're right.
• 1:14:45
  SPEAKER_03: Live from bed.
• 1:14:48
  SPEAKER_01: Absolutely.
• 1:14:50
  SPEAKER_01: We gotta think of a topic for the potluck after dark.
• 1:14:53
  SPEAKER_03: We have to Yeah, we gotta think of a new one.
• 1:14:55
  SPEAKER_03: Yeah, because the one the one that we were working on, people were like, I don't know.
• 1:14:59
  SPEAKER_01: People I was willing to do it.
• 1:15:01
  SPEAKER_01: What was I was willing to do it?
• 1:15:03
  SPEAKER_03: It was it was like um strangest strangest sexual places to have a sexual encounter, yes, and you just like and we were like, you don't even have like if you're not comfortable saying what the encounter was or whatever, that's fine, right?
• 1:15:18
  SPEAKER_03: Or with who, that's fine.
• 1:15:20
  SPEAKER_03: You want to be anonymous, that's fine.
• 1:15:22
  SPEAKER_01: Yeah, we would yeah, I was willing to, Lisa was willing to, we just couldn't find guests who were willing to.
• 1:15:27
  SPEAKER_03: We had one guest who was willing to, and then we couldn't find someone else who felt comfortable.
• 1:15:32
  SPEAKER_01: Oh, right, yeah.
• 1:15:33
  SPEAKER_03: So yeah, that's well, yeah, maybe maybe okay.
• 1:15:36
  SPEAKER_01: I'm over here thinking.
• 1:15:36
  SPEAKER_01: I'm like, do I know anyway?
• 1:15:42
  SPEAKER_01: Yeah, let me see if I call one of my old exes because I have so many of those.
• 1:15:48
  SPEAKER_01: I have a shitload of exes.
• 1:15:50
  SPEAKER_03: Well, call a bunch.
• 1:15:54
  SPEAKER_01: So I'm just imagining that that that episode.
• 1:15:58
  SPEAKER_01: I'm sorry, I just I would have to like black my screen out because I would be like dying.
• 1:16:04
  SPEAKER_01: I'm like, oh embarrassment or laughter?
• 1:16:07
  SPEAKER_00: Both.
• 1:16:08
  SPEAKER_03: Both, both like damn, you remember I did that?
• 1:16:13
  SPEAKER_03: Imagine I'm like, Alex, come on, participate with us, and then he has a different one than I have, but it's not even with me.
• 1:16:18
  SPEAKER_01: I'd be like, episode over.
• 1:16:23
  SPEAKER_01: I'm sorry, I'm now a widow.
• 1:16:27
  SPEAKER_00: Chicago starts playing in the distance.
• 1:16:29
  SPEAKER_00: He had it coming.
• 1:16:30
  SPEAKER_01: He had it coming.
• 1:16:33
  SPEAKER_01: No, I have to go play.
• 1:16:34
  SPEAKER_01: I'm gonna watch that now.
• 1:16:35
  SPEAKER_01: Thank you.
• 1:16:36
  SPEAKER_03: Thank you.
• 1:16:37
  SPEAKER_03: So, as far as like the long-term outlook, before we wrap up, how does that look for you?
• 1:16:43
  SPEAKER_00: Um, medication management, honestly, keeping on top of um making sure you're taking it every day, that you're not interacting with any other foods with it.
• 1:16:52
  SPEAKER_00: And um, the medication's weight-based, so they do change it as you adjust.
• 1:16:57
  SPEAKER_02: Okay.
• 1:16:58
  SPEAKER_00: Um, if there is no adjustments, they do end up taking the thyroid out.
• 1:17:04
  SPEAKER_02: Wow.
• 1:17:05
  SPEAKER_00: So hopefully that's not something I do have to end up going with.
• 1:17:08
  SPEAKER_00: Because if you you know, if it happens, it happens.
• 1:17:10
  SPEAKER_00: I'm not really gonna be angry with whatever outcomes there.
• 1:17:13
  SPEAKER_00: Whatever it's gonna happen, it will help me.
• 1:17:16
  SPEAKER_00: But um, it's just it's something you gotta take medication for for the rest of your life at this point.
• 1:17:20
  SPEAKER_00: Which isn't really strange for me, you know.
• 1:17:22
  SPEAKER_00: I'm on testosterone and I it's something I'm already doing, you know what I mean?
• 1:17:28
  SPEAKER_00: Yeah, it's another one.
• 1:17:30
  SPEAKER_03: I know it's it it is still one of those things, though.
• 1:17:34
  SPEAKER_03: Like, I I use an inhaler, you know, and for the most part, like I take allergy medication every day, and I take um a breathing, like an asthma medication that's not an inhaler.
• 1:17:46
  SPEAKER_03: And then recently they're like, Yeah, no, you need cholesterol medication, and I'm like, for the rest of my life?
• 1:17:51
  SPEAKER_00: Yeah, because sometimes the steroids can make your cholesterol worse if you didn't know that.
• 1:17:55
  SPEAKER_00: Yeah.
• 1:17:55
  SPEAKER_03: Well, and it's also genetic in my family.
• 1:17:57
  SPEAKER_00: Yeah.
• 1:17:57
  SPEAKER_00: Well, I didn't know for a long time when you start testosterone, they say that your cholesterol can go up because your appetite changes because testosterone is a steroid, technically, still.
• 1:18:07
  SPEAKER_03: Right.
• 1:18:07
  SPEAKER_03: Oh, that's yeah.
• 1:18:09
  SPEAKER_03: A lot of my asthma medications are steroids.
• 1:18:11
  SPEAKER_00: So Yep, the inhalers have steroids in them, yeah.
• 1:18:14
  SPEAKER_03: Mm-hmm.
• 1:18:15
  SPEAKER_03: And and even though, like, I'm already taking these medicines, I I've been asthmatic since I'm in elementary school.
• 1:18:20
  SPEAKER_03: It's like, really, I have to take this for the rest of my life.
• 1:18:23
  SPEAKER_03: It's just it's just the the mental.
• 1:18:25
  SPEAKER_03: Yeah.
• 1:18:26
  SPEAKER_00: Um but it's like you have to remind yourself other people can do this regularly.
• 1:18:31
  SPEAKER_00: Why should I stop myself from having this help to be able to do the same thing as everyone else?
• 1:18:35
  SPEAKER_02: Yeah, that's a good way to look at it.
• 1:18:37
  SPEAKER_02: Yeah, it's just like a mental block, you know.
• 1:18:40
  SPEAKER_00: With the mental health stuff, it's like people's bodies create that chemical.
• 1:18:44
  SPEAKER_00: Just because you need something to stimulate it does not make you any less than them.
• 1:18:48
  SPEAKER_00: No, it's like the box, it's like the box thing.
• 1:18:50
  SPEAKER_00: Like everyone's standing at a fence and um people need different boxes to be able to see over it.
• 1:18:56
  SPEAKER_00: Just because they have more help than you, you're all getting to the same point.
• 1:19:01
  SPEAKER_00: We get to the same point.
• 1:19:02
  SPEAKER_00: More help is what your everyday is.
• 1:19:05
  unknown: Yeah.
• 1:19:06
  SPEAKER_00: My everyday is on the floor, and having XYZ gets me to be functional like you.
• 1:19:10
  SPEAKER_03: Yeah.
• 1:19:11
  SPEAKER_03: Yeah.
• 1:19:12
  SPEAKER_03: I think it's just it's just one of those things like where we're programmed to be like self-sufficient, you know, that whole pull yourself up by the bootstraps, and then when you need something to help pull them up, you feel like you're less than, but you're not.
• 1:19:28
  SPEAKER_03: You know, you feel like you're you're somehow failing, but you're not.
• 1:19:32
  SPEAKER_01: I mean, it's I think it's important for everyone to remember that saying the irony is it's that you can't do you.
• 1:19:40
  SPEAKER_01: That's impossible to do.
• 1:19:42
  SPEAKER_01: And it's funny, I don't know when it is, I don't know when it people started using it to prove a point or the wrong point, but pull yourself by the bootstraps is impossible.
• 1:19:55
  SPEAKER_01: So everyone needs to remember that.
• 1:19:57
  SPEAKER_01: And you need help.
• 1:19:59
  SPEAKER_01: We all need help in some way.
• 1:20:00
  SPEAKER_03: We all need help with some stuff, yeah.
• 1:20:02
  SPEAKER_01: I need a lot of help.
• 1:20:05
  SPEAKER_00: I would live in the is there enough help?
• 1:20:07
  SPEAKER_03: I don't think there is.
• 1:20:08
  SPEAKER_03: There is enough help for me.
• 1:20:09
  SPEAKER_03: That's a different question.
• 1:20:11
  SPEAKER_03: That's for somebody else's podcast.
• 1:20:13
  SPEAKER_03: We don't have the answer.
• 1:20:15
  SPEAKER_01: I don't think anyone has the answer for me.
• 1:20:17
  SPEAKER_01: Okay.
• 1:20:18
  SPEAKER_03: Casim, we appreciate you coming and hanging out with us and being so open.
• 1:20:24
  SPEAKER_03: Yeah.
• 1:20:24
  SPEAKER_03: You know, it's really refreshing.
• 1:20:27
  SPEAKER_00: Some people like might never know, like my sneezing until someone else says it.
• 1:20:32
  SPEAKER_03: Says something.
• 1:20:33
  SPEAKER_00: Yeah.
• 1:20:34
  SPEAKER_03: So you have anything else before we wrap up, though?
• 1:20:38
  SPEAKER_03: Um anything we missed or anything you want to okay.
• 1:20:43
  SPEAKER_00: I think the big thing is like what you're doing, never don't play trauma Olympics.
• 1:20:49
  SPEAKER_00: Just because you need the help and just because you're going through something doesn't mean that you're any less than someone else and that you don't deserve that help.
• 1:20:58
  SPEAKER_01: I don't think we can end this episode with anything better than that.
• 1:21:03
  SPEAKER_01: Oh, I'm done by now.
• 1:21:04
  SPEAKER_03: That's just we can't beat that.
• 1:21:08
  SPEAKER_03: We remind you to visit Sassinsips.com for all the ways.
• 1:21:13
  SPEAKER_03: And if you um uh so I didn't even ask Kasim, but I'm gonna I'm gonna do this, and and and if Kasim says no, I'm just gonna be like, okay, edit, so you'll never even hear this.
• 1:21:22
  SPEAKER_03: But if you have any questions or anything for Kasim, you can always reach out to us, text us, or whatever, and we can pass along your questions, your comments.
• 1:21:35
  SPEAKER_03: If you know if that's something.
• 1:21:37
  SPEAKER_00: Oh, absolutely, yeah.
• 1:21:38
  SPEAKER_03: I'm getting a nod.
• 1:21:39
  SPEAKER_03: Okay.
• 1:21:42
  SPEAKER_03: We remind you to drink responsibly and not to drink and drive.
• 1:21:46
  SPEAKER_03: And until next time, I'm Lisa.
• 1:21:48
  SPEAKER_03: And I'm Agnes, and I'm Casim.
• 1:21:51
  SPEAKER_03: And we are out of here.
• 1:21:53
  SPEAKER_03: See you later.
• 1:21:53
  SPEAKER_03: Bye.