Latest / The Mental Healness Podcast / Some narcissists will do anything to make you reach out to them

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Some narcissists will do anything to make you reach out to them · The Mental Healness Podcast

• 0:00
  What is going on beautiful people?
• 0:02
  Welcome to another episode of the Narcissist Code.
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  I'm your favorite selfaware narcissist, Mr. Lee Hammett
• 0:07
  better known as mental illness across all social media
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  platforms. This is the first time I see my
• 0:11
  face and hearing my lovely voice.
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  I'm a clinically diagnosed narcissist and I use my platform
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  on social media to raise awareness for NPD, get more
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  people into the therapy and also validate the victim, survivors
• 0:21
  and thrivers of said disorder, said said talk to people.
• 0:24
  Said Toxit Traits. Today's episode is going to be
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  about how some narcissist will do whatever it takes to get you
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  to reach out to them, Whatever it takes to get you to reach out
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  to them. All right, before we hop into
• 0:38
  today's episode, y'all, make sure you hop over to Amazon.
• 0:40
  Check out the self love journal. Lee Hammock.
• 0:42
  I love me a self love journal. Help me rebuild that self love
• 0:46
  And you know, identity after a talk to relationship dynamic,
• 0:50
  talk to relationship space. But yeah, y'all, yeah, yeah,
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  yeah. Narcissistic people will do
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  whatever it takes to have you reach out to them.
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  Yeah, Like how to say this? Like, this is kind of where
• 1:04
  pride and ego get in the way of a lot of narcissistic people.
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  Like most narcissists, you know, pride and ego keep them from
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  reaching out to you, keep them from offering you genuine,
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  authentic apologies and things of that nature.
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  So what they'll do is they want you to reach out because it lay
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  out, you know what the reverse, the reverse Hoover is.
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  I think Sam Backman coined the term the reverse Hoover.
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  It's when you reach out to them, the narcissistic person doesn't
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  Hoover you. They don't reach out to you.
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  They don't say or do anything to you or for you.
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  You reach out to them and you break no contact.
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  You reach out to them and you, you know, rekindle the flame.
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  You try to get the relationship dynamic back start.
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  That's the reverse Hoover. And if you reach out to them,
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  guess what happens? Y'all, everything that that
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  narcissistic person has ever done to you is in the mind of
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  that narcissistic person. Is wiped clean.
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  Is absolutely wiped clean. In my mind.
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  It's just like if you are not OK with how I am treating you, why
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  would you reach out to me? You see what I'm saying?
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  If you are not OK, well how things are going, why would you
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  reach out to me? You see, you see where we're
• 2:11
  going with this. If you are not OK with what we
• 2:14
  have been through or what we what has, why are you reaching
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  out to me? And narcissistic people want to
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  avoid accountability at all costs.
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  You see what I'm saying? You get a lot of narcissists who
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  want to, who don't like that accountability brings on shame.
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  And you know, narcissists do not like shame.
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  We don't want to feel ashamed of anything that we've done.
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  We don't want to feel ashamed of anything that we've said.
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  We don't want to feel ashamed at all, right?
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  So if you're not going to feel ashamed at all, we want you to
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  be the one who reaches out. So even though they are
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  typically, you know, technically the narcissistic person is the
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  one breaking. No contact here is the one
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  reaching out to you. In our minds, it's you reaching
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  out to us. So what they'll do is they'll
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  contact, they'll go around you, they'll start reaching out to
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  your friends and family. You mean they'll reach out to
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  y'all mutual friends. They'll just like name drop,
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  name drop you when they're in a set, a group setting of people
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  who know you. They'll just name drop you.
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  Or just like send subtle, subtle things on social media that
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  people that know you or know y'all were together will assume
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  that are that are all about you. You know what I'm saying?
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  They'll do things like that where you, you know, like where
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  it gets back to you, Hey, Lee said.
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  You know, we was at dinner with Lee the other night and he was
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  talking about how he, you know, how he regrets certain things
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  and treating certain people badly and stuff like that.
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  And I just, I think he was talking about you.
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  Maybe he was talking about you. I don't know.
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  I don't know. Maybe.
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  Maybe there's something there. Maybe you want to reach out to
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  him. And then you reach out and then
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  guess what happens? You're done.
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  All the bad, all the bad stuff that I've done is done.
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  You know what I mean? So you get into a lot of
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  dynamics in a lot of situations where this, this happens out,
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  where you reach out to them, they'll like, do little subtle
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  things. They'll drive by your house, but
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  like, they're not talking to you, They're not contacting you
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  directly. So in our minds, we are not
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  reaching out to you. They'll drive by your house.
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  They'll drive by your work, walk by your work, you know, have
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  things delivered to your house. They'll do anything like they'll
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  send mail to your house. They'll start using your e-mail
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  as it for subscriptions and things like that.
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  Well, it'll have their address on it.
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  They'll use your e-mail or your phone number to register for
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  things. So things get sent to your
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  phone. So guess what happens?
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  You reach out to them, right? You wanted to stop so you can
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  reach out to them. Hey, why are you using my Are
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  you using my e-mail address for to sign me up for stuff?
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  Are you using my phone number to sign me up for stuff?
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  No. What are you talking about?
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  Why would I do that? Well, you know how you been
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  doing. Got you.
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  You see what I'm saying? Anything to get you to reach out
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  to them and one of the main, one of the main culprits, one of the
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  main tactics that they will use for this situation, for this
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  right here, it's called the smear campaign.
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  The smear campaign is when you get a lot of narcissistic
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  people. Y'all the smear campaign is when
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  the narcissistic person, narcissist, whatever talks,
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  person starts spreading rumors about you, they start spreading
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  rumors about you. These are saying bad things
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  about you. They they just, you know
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  everything is about you. Everything bad is about you.
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  Everything bad is happening in your life.
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  Everything is going on bad. And you're like, they start
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  telling people like just horrible things about you,
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  right? This are spreading horrible
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  rumors about you saying bad things about you and what's
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  what's one way you get this smear campaign to stop y'all.
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  You reach out directly to the smear, right?
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  You reach up. You reach directly out to the
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  person who is smearing you, the person who is lying on your
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  name, the person who is trying to throw dirt on your
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  reputation, the person who's trying to make you look like a
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  bad person. You reach out directly to them
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  and guess what? You try to negotiate a
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  ceasefire. You try to negotiate a stop.
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  You know, stoppers, you know guess what happens.
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  You end up getting said, you meet me face to face, meet me
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  face to face. Now they got you y'all
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  narcissist. A lot of narcissists want to
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  meet you face to face, right? Because if they meet you face to
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  face, they can be in front of your face.
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  They can cry to you. They can show you their
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  emotions. They can try to put their head,
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  they can try to touch you. They if you were alone or
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  sometimes if you're in public, they might try to end.
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  They might try to end you. Y'all I'm just telling you the
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  face to face stuff is not always they were to try to get you face
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  to face. You may I wish we had to talk
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  about this over the phone. I wish we'd just sit down and be
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  adults about this and be face to face, you know what I mean?
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  And you agree. I guess I can be an adult.
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  I guess we're past certain things now.
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  And then they got you, then they got you.
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  Y'all, Then literally, then they got you.
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  But one thing a lot of people also don't realize it's raining
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  outside. A lot of people don't realize is
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  that they will also use, let's say they use your friends and
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  family, they use the smear campaign.
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  My mom went blank out. They'll use the they'll use the
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  smear campaign. But what that one thing they'll
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  also do came back to me is they'll block you and unblock
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  you. They'll just keep blocking you
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  and unblock you, blocking you and unblocking you.
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  And you'll notice this. And then you might decide to
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  just you might you might decide like, okay, I'm tired of this.
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  Let me reach out directly to them and see why they keep
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  unblocking me and unblocking me. Let me reach out directly to the
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  source. This is why they keep doing
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  this. Let me reach out.
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  Let me, let me stop. Let me reach out and put a stop
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  to this if I can. You mean you get a lot of
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  narcissistic people who do that. Y'all they do, they will
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  absolutely reach out directly to, you know, block you, unblock
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  you. They might not.
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  You like your stuff. They might just view your story
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  on Instagram or look at your Snapchat or something like that
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  and you see their name and y'all been broken up for a while.
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  Like why do you keep watching my stuff?
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  Why do you keep blocking me and unblocking me?
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  You know, why do you keep doing things from fake accounts?
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  Like they might reach out from a fake account y'all and just
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  sell. Are saying things that only they
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  would know so are threatening you and things of that.
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  Y'all things of that nature. You have to be very careful in a
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  lot of these situations. Y'all you really really do.
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  So I tell people like the narcissistic person, a lot of
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  them will do whatever it takes for have you reach out.
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  Because once you reverse Hoover yourself you lose.
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  I promise you there's no like how do you beat the Narciss, how
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  you defeat the narcissists out. You stay no contact any longer.
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  You stay no contact the the the either the more the narcissistic
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  person wants to leave you alone or the more obsesses they
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  become. Because in the narcissists mind,
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  the only reason you're not talking to me, it's because you
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  want to talk to somebody else. The only reason you're not
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  dealing with me is because you want to deal with somebody else.
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  The only reason you're not doing this with me is because you want
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  to do do it with somebody else. You see what I'm saying?
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  The mind immediately goes to you having somebody else.
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  Like what, Lee? Why is that?
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  Because that's where the narcissist mind goes.
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  Like that's what we do. You see what I'm saying?
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  We try to move on quickly. We want to.
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  We imagine that we want to be with somebody else.
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  You see what I'm saying? That.
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  So we project that out into the world, inside out.
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  Y'all just like if you see the narcissist seeing, like I said
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  y'all, they'll pretty much be sending the damn back signal to
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  your house instead of reaching out.
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  Because a lot of narcissists tend to be cowards.
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  A lot of narcissists tend to be scared, You know what I mean?
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  A lot of narcissists tend to be cowworked and tend to be scared
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  and things of that nature. So you fall into it and all this
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  other good stuff. You know what I mean?
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  I I just, I just be very careful.
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  Y'all don't look, don't break. No contact.
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  If you if you have to y'all call the police or get a get a third
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  party to tell them to stop doing something.
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  Use. I'm saying don't do you don't
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  break no contact to me. I don't think there's breaking
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  no contact, especially if they're harassing you or doing
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  things like that. But be very careful.
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  Y'all if you I would call the police first if possible, or
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  document. Document the things that you see
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  popping up. Because if you make get up, put
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  it in the file screenshot to record things.
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  Y'all record it. Get it outside camera.
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  If they're driving by your house consistently and they don't live
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  on the side of town, record it. Y'all they're popping up.
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  If you're walking by your job looking in, record it.
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  Y'all they're standing outside the job.
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  If they're doing things like that, y'all they're signing it,
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  signing up for, signing up for alerts and things like that.
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  Record it. Y'all they're sending you
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  getting random emails, recording Y'all document their stuff.
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  Put it in, put it in the file file photo on your computer or
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  something. Protect yourself.
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  Because sometimes they'll of course they are going to deny it
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  regardless. The police reach out to them,
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  but you decide to reach out to them, which I don't think you
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  should. They're going to deny it
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  vehemently. They they they just are known
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  artists. Like I said they are.
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  They are. If they are too priful and too
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  egotistical to reach out to you, of course they're going to deny
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  it. But you might get let me say
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  this real quick. You might get the rarity that
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  tells you that they did it just because they'll use their fear,
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  They'll weaponize their own like fear against.
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  They're just like, I was just so nervous about reaching out to
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  you so I didn't know how else to get your attention.
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  I didn't know what else to do. You know what I mean?
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  I didn't know how else to, you know, get you to reach out or
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  whatever. I was just.
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  I was just scared. I'm sorry.
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  Damn, I'm sorry. God, I'm so sorry.
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  Blah, blah, blah. You know, You ever seen the
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  movie Hitch with Will Smith in it?
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  You've ever the first time when he was at the bar with his
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  friend, right? And he wanted that girl's
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  attention where she was surrounded by guys and she was
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  playing pool or something and he walked up to her and gave her
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  like $20 and walked away from her.
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  He's like 2 drinks over here and she's like, hey, I'm not at
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  bartender. You see how he did that right
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  there? Instead of being direct.
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  Instead of being direct, he wouldn't already circumvented
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  the system, just that they will circumvent the system.
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  A lot of narcissistic people don't want to be direct.
• 11:15
  Y'all being with y'all think y'all was tuning in.
• 11:17
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• 11:20
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• 11:22
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• 11:24
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• 11:27
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• 11:30
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• 11:35
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• 11:37
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• 11:39
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