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Evidence: How to Stop Forgetting Who You Are · The Blow Your Mind Podcast

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  Welcome to the Blow Your mind podcast.
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  If you're trying to figure out who you are, where headed, or
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  how to trust yourself in the middle of it all, this show is
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  for you. I'm Erica Sinner.
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  I grew up in a trailer park on food stamps and I went on to
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  build a multi 8 figure award-winning company without a
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  safety net and without pretending it was easy.
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  I'm now a CEOA best selling author and a philanthropist and
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  what I've learned is this real confidence isn't a feeling, it's
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  self trust built through evidence.
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  This is a place for real conversations.
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  You'll hear from me and occasionally my husband Chris,
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  as we talk honestly about real life and the standards and
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  decisions that separate talk from results.
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  Let's blow your mind. I was standing there in the dead
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  of winter looking at my book in the Barnes and Noble window on
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  5th Ave. What is life?
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  How could this be? It was a moment I'll remember
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  for the rest of my life. It was also a moment where I was
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  terrified. And while the world might think
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  I must have been on Cloud 9, I must have been celebrating every
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  single day since I found out that it was there and that it
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  was going to be there for two whole weeks.
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  And everyone, I mean, on 5th Ave. in New York City, what are
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  we talking about? And all I could feel was that
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  sneaky little thing called imposter syndrome.
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  Welcome to the Blow Your Mind podcast.
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  I am so excited to be talking about the third part of my
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  framework today, which is evidence.
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  If you haven't listened to the last two episodes, I would say
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  please push pause. Like go back and listen to
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  identity and then systems. Because once you do those two
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  things, then you get here. And this is where the really
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  cool part happens. When you decide who you want to
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  be in the world and then you put in proper systems and habits and
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  standards that hold you to that person, you actually get to
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  become them. And this really cool thing
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  happens. You start to build proof, what I
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  call evidence. Evidence is objective.
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  It is not bad or good. It is just did it or did it not
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  happen? What were the outcomes that
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  happened because you were there? What are the outcomes of the
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  effort that you are out doing in the world?
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  All of that is evidence. And I believe it's so important
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  to track it, to name it, to celebrate it, to sit in it, to
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  own it, to own the evidence that you've created.
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  That moment when I saw my book in the Barnes and Noble window,
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  I just had this moment of like, if you know me at all and you've
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  seen any of my like post, you'll see I always have these brightly
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  colored shoes on. And I'm really proud of them.
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  Actually. They're Manolo's, standing in
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  front of that bookstore, walking in my red dress with my Manolo's
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  on, which are sparkly and they're not cheap.
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  Like, I'm not going to lie, right?
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  I work really hard to get those shoes.
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  But it was such an interesting feeling to be standing there in
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  shoes I've wanted forever in New York City.
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  Actually looking at the proof of, like, my book, my family's
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  photo that used to hang on top of my fireplace is actually on a
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  book in the Barnes and Noble window.
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  And all I felt was, does it belong there?
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  What if people buy it and read it and are like, Oh my God, why
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  is this even in the bookstore? Like, why is this in the window?
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  Why does it deserve to be here? And it's sitting there next to
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  another book that was called the The Generous Leader.
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  And I was like, what? But their book belongs.
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  But does mine belong? Am I really an author?
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  It's that sneaky thing, imposter syndrome, that it's that voice
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  inside your head that says, like, who am I to want all of
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  this, to dream this big, to think that this is possible for
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  me? It's that voice that says, if
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  you all really knew me, like, would you think that my success
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  was an accident? Would you actually think that I
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  was smart, capable, worthy, deserving enough of all of this?
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  Imposter syndrome is such a sneaky thing because it comes up
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  all of the time. And you know, when I shared, I,
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  I had found out two weeks prior to that day where I actually got
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  to see it myself. And I would talked about this
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  earlier where I, I, everybody thought I was on cloud 9.
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  I got all of the text messages, all of the celebrations.
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  I had hundreds of comments on the actual photo that the store
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  had sent me before I actually made it out to New York.
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  And that day felt a little bit unreal and surreal.
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  But the next day I had actually been on a trip, on a client
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  trip. And so I was alone in my hotel
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  room and I remember I was just crying.
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  I was like in tears of like, and I was scared and it didn't feel
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  like I thought it was going to feel.
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  And I think that is that imposter syndrome, which goes
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  back to the identity that I talked about two episodes ago
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  about why it's so important for us to not believe what we were
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  taught about ourselves and to really decide who we are and,
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  and live up to that. And through our systems and
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  through the consistency and through disciplined action,
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  prove to yourself that you are worthy and that you've always
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  been worthy. And the evidence to me, this
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  third part of the framework evidence, it's not about
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  bragging. It's really about curating all
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  of the evidence, all of the proof that you can point to to
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  say like, yeah, I did those things.
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  This is real. And the reason I talk about all
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  of my success and all of the things that I have done and the
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  fact that we're a multi 8 figure company, the fact that I'm a
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  best selling author, the fact that I do get to be on TV quite
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  often. And that feels really good that
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  somebody wants to hear my voice, my story, my mission.
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  And that's not anything other than to just point to evidence.
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  It's really real. That doesn't say like, results
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  are not the thing that make you worthy.
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  That's not what evidence is. I would even say that like, the
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  impact that you make out in the world is also not the thing that
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  makes you worthy. I believe evidence and proof is
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  truly the antidote to imposter syndrome.
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  Because every time that voice sneaks up in me and says, like,
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  do you really deserve this? Is this really real?
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  Are you capable of doing that? I'm like, yeah, I did that.
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  And I pointed that and I pointed that.
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  And I've done these things out in the world.
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  And it is not subjective. It is just the truth.
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  It is evidence. It's a reality of the situation.
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  And that's a big deal because then it starts to rewire your
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  brain and it makes it so that you're not focusing on the
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  results, the impact, All of the things, all of those things are
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  not the things that make you worthy.
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  It just makes it impossible for your brain to ignore the
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  worthiness that has always been there, that has always been
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  inside of you. That's the really cool thing
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  about evidence. And in my framework, I, you
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  know, when I talk to university students, I tell them about how
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  since I was 21, I've had this folder in my inbox called You
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  are awesome. It's literally called that.
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  I still have this folder and in it, I have always saved like
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  emails that I've received from people that says because of you
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  this happened. So it's not just like great job
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  emails. It's like the outcome emails,
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  the results emails and I always put them into that folder.
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  And the reason that I loved having my your awesome folder is
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  because when I was looking for a new job, I had all of the proof
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  of the things that I had done in the world that like This is why
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  I'm capable because it's so interesting when you got to sit
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  down and like actually write your resume, you're like, wait a
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  second, like what are all the things that it did in the last
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  year or when you're up for promotion or when you're about
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  to get a review at your company. It's so interesting how our
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  brains forget all of the amazing things that we have done.
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  And so why aren't we tracking it?
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  Why aren't we creating our own evidence folder?
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  Why don't we put those things in an easily accessible place so
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  that we can actually then tell the truth about the impact that
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  we've had, All of the amazing things that have happened
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  because you have been there. And so I have my your awesome
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  folder in my Outlook e-mail, which, yeah, I still have it.
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  And as I've become ACEO and a founder and as I've started to
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  do things with tiny superheroes, I have a separate one on my tiny
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  superheroes e-mail. I it's become more and more
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  about the things that my team has done, that my company has
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  done, the patience that we've impacted, but it just still
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  matters to track all of those things.
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  And that's what I do professionally, but also
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  personally, I have what I call my pick me up folder and that is
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  just an album in my phone that's called You are loved.
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  And it is screenshots. It's screenshots of text
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  messages that I've gotten from my friends that are just like,
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  hey girl, just thinking about you today and I love you.
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  And I'm like, Oh my God. Like it just didn't mean
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  something to me. It is DMS of people who have
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  sent me notes. I, I got Adm one time from a
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  psychiatrist and he and his husband had just lost their dog.
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  And he had said, I would just want to thank you for the work
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  that you were doing out in the world to normalize the loss of
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  an animal, but also like to really push for pet bereavement
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  leave to be a thing. Because here I am a psychiatrist
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  and I'm, I'm ashamed to talk about it at work, which is
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  really surprising to me, right? Because here's somebody who is
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  in the mental healthcare space and they're afraid to go to work
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  and just tell the truth that a part of their family has just
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  passed away and they need some time off so they can show up as
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  their best self so they can be there for their patients.
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  And so that's one that I was really proud to screenshot and
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  save and put into my You Are Loved folder.
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  But I also, you know, these are these types of screenshots.
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  They're, they're just, they're not for anyone else.
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  They're just for you so that you can go back and, and know the
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  impact that you've already made. The, the, there are people that
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  love you and care about you. Because sometimes that imposter
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  syndrome really sneaks up on you and the lies and the stories
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  that you believe about yourself can feel really loud.
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  They can feel really true. You can feel really alone and
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  sometimes we just need to get out of our own head and really
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  see the truth of who we really are.
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  And that only comes when you build evidence, when you have a
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  place, when you can go look, when you're in those moments of
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  panic, when you're in those moments of loneliness, when
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  you're in those moments of like, should I keep going?
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  Is the work that I'm doing, Matt?
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  Like doesn't matter. And so for me that picked me up
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  folder. I mean, I have, if you look at
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  it now, it's really funny because it's still like the
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  iPhone text messages that were like those weird bubbles like
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  years ago all the way to the ones that are now.
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  And sometimes I go back and I go years back and I look at that
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  album and I'm like, wow, some of these messages that I've saved,
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  it took me back to where I was in that moment.
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  And I get to realize how far I've come and who I am now.
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  And what are the problems that I'm worried about today and what
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  are the things that I care about today?
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  And how big has my life gotten today?
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  And that also reminds me, so as I'm dealing with things today,
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  I'm like, Oh my gosh, like I'm only building my capacity to
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  hold even more. And I'm going to be able to
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  handle even more. And who will I be in five years
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  from now, right? Because I still have my identity
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  of who I want to be. And I'm still building my
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  systems to get me to be that girl.
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  And I'm going to keep building my evidence to go back and look
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  at to remind me that I am already in motion, that I am not
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  behind, that I am loved by people who care about me and
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  even strangers I've never even met.
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  There's the connection. That is the thing that is
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  beautiful about social media. I have so many connections
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  around the world of people I've never met, but man, they are
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  there for me and I'm there for them.
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  And that's a beautiful thing. And so I want to say to you as
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  the mind blown moment is that I truly believe that the antidote
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  to imposter syndrome is evidence.
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  And I believe that the only way that we can combat imposter
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  syndrome is to have a place that you can point to, to say, I
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  really did all of those things. And the only way to do that is
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  to track it. And so I'm hoping that my
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  systems of my, your awesome folder or your pick me up my
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  your pick me up folder that those things work for you.
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  And the challenge that I have for you this week is build one.
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  Start building your your awesome folder or your pygmy up folder,
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  whichever one makes more sense to you.
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  Or tell me about a way that you're capturing and tracking
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  your evidence. I'm excited to learn from you
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  too, and to inspire each other of how do we all track the
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  amazing things that we are doing.
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  And I want to leave you on today's episode, you know, not
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  not just inspired, but with your own proof.
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  And so I want you to think about someone you could text that you
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  could just say like, hey, this might be a weird text, but can
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  you just share with me like a moment when you saw me show up
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  in a way that like really impressed you or in something
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  that stayed with you about me or where I don't know you're going
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  to, you're going to be surprised by what people share with you
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  that you don't even remember happening.
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  But I want you to text someone and I want you to ask them.
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  And when they text you back, I want you to screenshot it.
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  And I want it to be evidence document number one in your pick
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  me up folder because I want you to see that you're not behind.
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  That there are already so many people who care about you, who
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  you've impacted already with the things that you do, with the
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  love that you put out in the world, with the light that is
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  inside of you, that you shine so brightly.
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  And sometimes we just don't even see our own lights.
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  And I wanted to reflect back on you by seeing the response that
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  you get. And then as you move forward,
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  keep screenshotting, keep saving it, keep building your evidence
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  folder, and DM me, tag me. Once you get so many, it's going
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  to be a little collage, so you don't even have to share what's
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  actually in them. But I would love to see your
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  evidence folder start to build up.
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  And so DM me, tag me, share it with somebody else.
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  And I just can't wait to see you all blow your own minds.
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  Here we go. I'll see you next time.
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  Thanks for listening to the Blow Your Mind podcast.
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  If something you heard today stayed with you, that's your
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  cue. Apply one idea.
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  Keep one promise to yourself this week because that's how you
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  blow your mind. If this helped you build proof,
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  shift your identity, or have an aha moment, share your receipts
• 14:01
  on Instagram and tag me at Erica under score Center.
• 14:05
  Leave a review wherever you're listening so more people can
• 14:08
  find this work and blow their minds too.
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  I'll see you next time.