Latest / Coffee and Bible Time Podcast / Breaking Free from the Past | Kim Jones

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Breaking Free from the Past | Kim Jones · Coffee and Bible Time Podcast

1:01
Ellen Krause: At the Coffee and Bible Time podcast, Our goal is to help you delight in God's Word and thrive in Christian living.
1:07
Ellen Krause: Each week we talk to subject matter experts who broaden your biblical understanding, encourage you in hard times and provide life-building tips to enhance your Christian walk.
1:18
Ellen Krause: We are so glad you have joined us.
1:21
Ellen Krause: Welcome back to the Coffee and Bible Time podcast.
1:27
Ellen Krause: This is Ellen, your host.
1:29
Ellen Krause: You know today's episode, I believe, will resonate with everyone listening as it explores being stuck.
1:38
Ellen Krause: Have you ever just felt stuck in a season or an environment and you just can't seem to move forward?
1:46
Ellen Krause: We can often find ourselves feeling stuck in cycles of regret or fear or disobedience, and our past mistakes and painful experiences can leave us feeling trapped and unable to move ahead.
2:03
Ellen Krause: Well, our guest today, pastor Kimberly Jones, also known as Real Talk Kim, shares how surrendering to God's will through prayer, bible study and community can bring forgiveness and renewal.
2:18
Ellen Krause: By discovering who we are in Christ, we can break free from that feeling of being stuck.
2:26
Ellen Krause: But first we need to decide to change and recognize that everyone makes mistakes.
2:34
Ellen Krause: But God can use our pain for his gain and by committing to the Lord, surrendering our desires and opening ourselves to his direction, we can find success and a path that moves forward.
2:48
Ellen Krause: I am so excited to dive into this topic with Kim today.
2:54
Ellen Krause: Pastor Kimberly Jones is a pastor, entrepreneur, mentor, motivational speaker, entertainer and best-selling author.
3:05
Ellen Krause: She has a successful weekly syndicated podcast and has appeared on Preachers of Atlanta, the Dr Oz Show Nightline and numerous podcast webinars and radio programs.
3:18
Ellen Krause: She is the senior pastor at Limitless Church in Fayetteville.
3:23
Ellen Krause: She is the proud mother of two sons.
3:26
Ellen Krause: Please welcome Kim.
3:30
Kim Jones (Real Talk Kim): Oh, my goodness, I am so excited to be here with you.
3:32
Kim Jones (Real Talk Kim): Thank you, Ellen, and all of your Coffee and Bible Time, people watching.
3:38
Kim Jones (Real Talk Kim): .
3:38
Kim Jones (Real Talk Kim): Thank you for having me.
3:39
Ellen Krause: Well, we are excited and you know what, Kim?
3:43
Ellen Krause: The reason I really wanted to have you on is because you're just so authentic and willing to be vulnerable and share your story so that you can help others.
3:55
Ellen Krause: So why don't you just start out by telling us a little bit about your story and your own experience of being stuck?
4:02
Kim Jones (Real Talk Kim): You know, I, Ellen, I was raised in a very strict religion and I really thought God was mean.
4:11
Kim Jones (Real Talk Kim): I was always thinking.
4:12
Kim Jones (Real Talk Kim): You know, I walked through a divorce after my 18 year marriage ended and I was devastated and I, just at the moment when I always say I hit rock bottom in 2006 and I had to find out who the rock was at the bottom, which was Jesus.
4:28
Kim Jones (Real Talk Kim): I had to find it for myself and I went on a journey with God 36 years old, 37, 38, 39, 40.
4:35
Kim Jones (Real Talk Kim): Took me at least four years to get myself unstuck because I was so shattered.
4:41
Kim Jones (Real Talk Kim): I was just man.
4:42
Kim Jones (Real Talk Kim): I was blaming the world for where I was blaming spiritual warfare.
4:46
Kim Jones (Real Talk Kim): And then one day I was just like no, it's you girl, like it's you, it's you.
4:51
Kim Jones (Real Talk Kim): You keep getting ahead of God.
4:52
Kim Jones (Real Talk Kim): You keep blaming the whole world for why you are where you are.
4:56
Kim Jones (Real Talk Kim): You're a victim in your own story.
4:57
Kim Jones (Real Talk Kim): And I just decided you know, nobody's coming to get me up and I've got two boys after this 18 year marriage ended that are as devastated as I am, and I got to help God, help me.
5:11
Kim Jones (Real Talk Kim): And so one night I was laying in my bed and I was just like God, take this pain away from me.
5:16
Kim Jones (Real Talk Kim): I needed to have an experience with God.
5:21
Kim Jones (Real Talk Kim): Way for me.
5:23
Kim Jones (Real Talk Kim): Like I, I needed to have an experience with God.
5:24
Kim Jones (Real Talk Kim): I'd sang on some of the biggest platforms in the world.
5:25
Kim Jones (Real Talk Kim): I had such great favor and then, because of my disobedience in some areas, I got ahead of God and lost my way and I was at this point where I found God in that place of God.
5:40
Kim Jones (Real Talk Kim): Take this pain away from me.
5:41
Kim Jones (Real Talk Kim): I heard God that night, Ellen, in that room, just me.
5:44
Kim Jones (Real Talk Kim): It was no healing line, it was nobody praying over me in that room, it was me and God and it was.
5:50
Kim Jones (Real Talk Kim): I say it was my, oh hell, no moment.
5:53
Kim Jones (Real Talk Kim): You know where.
5:54
Kim Jones (Real Talk Kim): It's just like you just finally tell hell to shut up, like all the noise, all the lies, I'm done with it.
6:02
Kim Jones (Real Talk Kim): I don't know where I'm going, I don't know where.
6:04
Kim Jones (Real Talk Kim): I don't see a light at the end of the tunnel, but I know I'm not staying here, I'm not staying in this dirty, dark room, I'm not staying, feeling sorry for myself.
6:11
Kim Jones (Real Talk Kim): And it was like that night.
6:13
Kim Jones (Real Talk Kim): It was like something just came over me and I heard God say in my spirit I can't take this pain away.
6:21
Kim Jones (Real Talk Kim): You got to get up and walk away from it.
6:24
Kim Jones (Real Talk Kim): And, man, I went and I downloaded the YouVersion app.
6:29
Kim Jones (Real Talk Kim): I started finding podcasts like yours.
6:30
Kim Jones (Real Talk Kim): Other podcasts, podcast was like my go-to and as I was driving to work one hour to Lenox Mall one hour coming home, I was just finding voices that could help me get unstuck.
6:44
Kim Jones (Real Talk Kim): And here we are.
6:46
Kim Jones (Real Talk Kim): I mean, I didn't even preach my first sermon.
6:48
Kim Jones (Real Talk Kim): I mean, 11 years ago I was working at Bloomingdale's making $13 an hour, putting makeup on people and trying to feed my kids and feeling like I was too old to ever get married again, desperate, just feeling like I'm climbing out of this hell hole that I created.
7:10
Kim Jones (Real Talk Kim): And that moment is when God started healing my life, because I started taking tools.
7:16
Kim Jones (Real Talk Kim): I wanted to get to know him for me, not for who.
7:18
Kim Jones (Real Talk Kim): My parents said I wanted to learn how to rest in him, ellen.
7:22
Kim Jones (Real Talk Kim): I wanted to learn how to not get ahead of him.
7:25
Kim Jones (Real Talk Kim): Not let social media make me be urgent to make more mess ups, because I don't believe that any of us go through life and when we're getting married say, oh, I want to be divorced.
7:36
Kim Jones (Real Talk Kim): I mean we all jump into life thinking this is what it's about, this is great.
7:43
Kim Jones (Real Talk Kim): But then, when things turn sour, what's inside of you?
7:46
Kim Jones (Real Talk Kim): Because that's what comes out.
7:48
Kim Jones (Real Talk Kim): And so I started finding myself preached my first sermon at 41, had a video that went viral, sitting in the car talking to myself.
7:57
Kim Jones (Real Talk Kim): I was talking to myself sitting on the side of the road when my car was overheating and I just took my phone out and I just did a video of talking of desperation and surrender and that thing went viral and God flipped the flow for me.
8:12
Kim Jones (Real Talk Kim): And so here we are uh, 51 years old now, thought my life was over at 36 special ed.
8:18
Kim Jones (Real Talk Kim): My whole life ended up writing my first book at 36.
8:20
Kim Jones (Real Talk Kim): Special ed.
8:21
Kim Jones (Real Talk Kim): My whole life Ended up writing my first book at 42.
8:22
Kim Jones (Real Talk Kim): Then I wrote another one at 43, beautifully Broken and Beautifully Whole, and then I started a podcast at 45.
8:29
Kim Jones (Real Talk Kim): Now I'm on number six, called Unstuck, that is coming out this week.
8:37
Ellen Krause: That's fantastic.
8:38
Ellen Krause: What a joy to see how, if you trust and rely on God, that it can just pull you from the depths of despair.
8:47
Ellen Krause: What are some things in life that cause us to get stuck and how do we realize we're there?
8:56
Kim Jones (Real Talk Kim): You know, I think things that cause us to get stuck, especially now in this world, is social media, just comparing your life, comparing numbers.
9:07
Kim Jones (Real Talk Kim): I mean, people only show you their highlight reels and you get stuck in watching.
9:13
Kim Jones (Real Talk Kim): You know her spouse and her and he looks like he stepped out of GQ and your spouse looks like he stepped out of DQ and now all of a sudden you hate your spouse.
9:21
Kim Jones (Real Talk Kim): Their kids seem so orderly and so fabulous and little Jesse, your kid's running around the house with chicken nuggets hanging out of his mouth.
9:29
Kim Jones (Real Talk Kim): The reality versus the lies, and so I think a lot of times, and also expectation, we as women, especially we we have had an idea since we were a little kid, a little girl, of what we thought life was supposed to look like, especially in our 40s and 50s and 60s and 70s.
9:53
Kim Jones (Real Talk Kim): And you're like, all of a sudden man, I did not know this was what my life was going to look like.
9:58
Kim Jones (Real Talk Kim): I didn't know that my husband was going to die after 52 years of marriage, right when we should be traveling.
10:04
Kim Jones (Real Talk Kim): And now I got to pick up the pieces and then all of a sudden, we get stuck in the grief.
10:09
Kim Jones (Real Talk Kim): We get stuck in the should have, could have and would have.
10:11
Kim Jones (Real Talk Kim): And that shame the enemy.
10:13
Kim Jones (Real Talk Kim): The Bible says the enemy comes to steal, kill and destroy.
10:16
Kim Jones (Real Talk Kim): He doesn't say he does it, but I think what he does is we give him the wherewithal with falling into depression, allowing a season in our life to define our whole lifetime.
10:27
Kim Jones (Real Talk Kim): And so I think, if we can learn to understand that as long as we're not dead, God's not done, as long as we have a pulse, God's got a plan.
10:37
Kim Jones (Real Talk Kim): We are here for a purpose.
10:40
Kim Jones (Real Talk Kim): We have a legacy to carry out.
10:41
Kim Jones (Real Talk Kim): When my daddy died, I wanted to quit, I wanted to throw in the towel, I sure didn't want to take over his church.
10:47
Kim Jones (Real Talk Kim): But I learned how to mourn and move in those seasons and now I realize Romans 8: 28 is true God is working all things together for our good, even the seasons we don't understand.
10:59
Kim Jones (Real Talk Kim): If we will stay focused and get up one more time every time we fall, we just get back up again and pray over our minds to be renewed, god will flip the flow in our lives and it will turn out better than it was before.
11:16
Ellen Krause: It sure will.
11:17
Ellen Krause: You know, one of the things I was thinking about in my own life, just that bitterness.
11:24
Ellen Krause: Like you can let bitterness really get you stuck and or even, you know, seeing it in other people and wanting them to get unstuck.
11:37
Ellen Krause: How have you seen bitterness really sort of weigh people down?
11:43
Kim Jones (Real Talk Kim): Yeah, you know, I have a RTK, inner Circle, which is a community I built during the pandemic just for us to stay connected, and I literally have watched people come in that group that were even myself.
11:58
Kim Jones (Real Talk Kim): Ellen, when I look back just 10 years ago when I was still carrying so much bitterness, I don't even look like the same human when I tell you.
12:08
Kim Jones (Real Talk Kim): I honestly people think I've got all kinds of blogs.
12:13
Kim Jones (Real Talk Kim): I've had plastic heavier, I was wrinkly, I was pain in my body, inflammation.
12:29
Kim Jones (Real Talk Kim): I've watched people in my inner circle come in addicted to prescription drugs just trying to survive I'm talking coming in addicted to stuff secretly and then all of a sudden realized man, I got to get up, like I got to get up.
12:43
Kim Jones (Real Talk Kim): Thieves, don't rob empty vaults.
12:45
Kim Jones (Real Talk Kim): The enemy isn't fighting me because I'm weak.
12:48
Kim Jones (Real Talk Kim): He's fighting me because I'm strong and he knows there's something in front of me that is so great that if I stay focused and I press in and I do what Psalms 46 and 10 says be still and know that he is God then I'm going to make it through this thing.
13:01
Kim Jones (Real Talk Kim): So I literally have seen people shift from just that.
13:06
Kim Jones (Real Talk Kim): Now it takes some.
13:07
Kim Jones (Real Talk Kim): Hey, I've watched some.
13:08
Kim Jones (Real Talk Kim): It take three years to finally get hit.
13:10
Kim Jones (Real Talk Kim): So it's just everybody's different in their growth.
13:13
Kim Jones (Real Talk Kim): But it is having that moment where you realize I am not staying here.
13:17
Kim Jones (Real Talk Kim): I am about to break this generational curse of depression and fear and worry and anxiety that makes you itch and feel like you're dying.
13:25
Kim Jones (Real Talk Kim): I'm breaking it off my family.
13:27
Kim Jones (Real Talk Kim): I'm going to take one for the team.
13:29
Kim Jones (Real Talk Kim): I'm going to go into war within the spirit realm and just speak over myself and pray over myself.
13:36
Kim Jones (Real Talk Kim): And I've watched inflammation.
13:38
Kim Jones (Real Talk Kim): I've watched people get off blood pressure medicine.
13:40
Kim Jones (Real Talk Kim): I've watched fibroids I mean cancer.
13:41
Kim Jones (Real Talk Kim): I'm watched people get off blood pressure medicine.
13:41
Kim Jones (Real Talk Kim): All of these things happen because you are allowing someone that was not even worth being in your life to make you bitter.
13:51
Kim Jones (Real Talk Kim): Rejection was God's protection.
13:54
Kim Jones (Real Talk Kim): Rejection was not necessarily someone wanting out of your life, but it is somebody God needed out of your future.
14:00
Kim Jones (Real Talk Kim): That could even be your daddy, that could be whatever situation you're holding onto that is devastating you and you haven't been able to let it go for 40 years.
14:07
Kim Jones (Real Talk Kim): You got to know that God had that thing planned so that you could fly, and if they wouldn't have left, their character wouldn't have kept up with your purpose, and so he helped you, let go.
14:23
Ellen Krause: Yes, that's, I'm sure, so encouraging to people to know that you know you can really.
14:32
Ellen Krause: There is results, like God is at work when we surrender, and there is such freedom when you let go of that bitterness.
14:42
Ellen Krause: Kim, you know some people who may have a lot of pain and regret in their life.
14:51
Ellen Krause: They don't feel comfortable sharing that.
14:53
Ellen Krause: How can they come to understand that their identity isn't rooted in their past mistakes?
15:00
Kim Jones (Real Talk Kim): Man.
15:01
Kim Jones (Real Talk Kim): That was big for me because, Ellen I mean, I was raised in a preacher's home where I was raised in a glass house.
15:08
Kim Jones (Real Talk Kim): I was then married to like a Ken and so we were like the Ken and Barbie in the church world.
15:16
Kim Jones (Real Talk Kim): 18 years that fell apart.
15:18
Kim Jones (Real Talk Kim): Then I get married again, just hopeless, romantic, and stayed married eight years.
15:24
Kim Jones (Real Talk Kim): And then infidelity online.
15:27
Kim Jones (Real Talk Kim): It was public and I all, throughout all of this, I had to remain with my face in the ground.
15:35
Kim Jones (Real Talk Kim): I had to remain in that place of saying God, I know my fruit will outlive everything that's coming against me, so I'm going to stay faithful.
15:45
Kim Jones (Real Talk Kim): So what we have to do is we've got to remember that God has the final say, that God has the final say.
15:53
Kim Jones (Real Talk Kim): Before you were ever even a thought in your mother's womb, god knew you were going to walk through this.
15:59
Kim Jones (Real Talk Kim): The rain falls on the just and the unjust.
16:02
Kim Jones (Real Talk Kim): He said good things are going to happen to good people.
16:04
Kim Jones (Real Talk Kim): It's just called life.
16:05
Kim Jones (Real Talk Kim): Bad things are going to happen.
16:06
Kim Jones (Real Talk Kim): I mean, it's just life.
16:08
Kim Jones (Real Talk Kim): But how we learn to navigate, how we learn how to stay in front of the friction and the agitation and the bitterness and I remember being in a room that I just shut my windows.
16:20
Kim Jones (Real Talk Kim): I shut my windows, ellen, for six months, dark in my room and I would cry every day till the joints in my fingers ache.
16:30
Kim Jones (Real Talk Kim): It's real, grief is real, brokenness is real, betrayal is real, but what are we going to do with it?
16:37
Kim Jones (Real Talk Kim): But what are we going to do with it?
16:38
Kim Jones (Real Talk Kim): What are we going to do with it?
16:40
Kim Jones (Real Talk Kim): Are we going to allow the enemy to laugh and hold us in bondage?
16:43
Kim Jones (Real Talk Kim): Are we going to flip the flow and say, devil, you should have taken me out when you could have, because today I'm getting back up again and you begin to open your mouth every morning and you begin to spend time with God in your coffee and Bible time.
16:56
Kim Jones (Real Talk Kim): You go download that YouVersion app on your app on your phone.
17:00
Kim Jones (Real Talk Kim): Get rid of Candy Crush, if you ain't got no data, and go download YouVersion.
17:06
Kim Jones (Real Talk Kim): And while you're sleeping at night, let the Psalm 91 read over you in that audible and just begin to renew your spirit.
17:14
Kim Jones (Real Talk Kim): It may not happen overnight, Ellen.
17:15
Kim Jones (Real Talk Kim): It may not change overnight.
17:18
Kim Jones (Real Talk Kim): You may fall again tomorrow.
17:19
Kim Jones (Real Talk Kim): You may pray for your ex to get killed with the train because you don't want to look at his face anymore, but then, over time, the more you spend time with God, the more you ain't praying for your ex to get hurt.
17:29
Kim Jones (Real Talk Kim): All of a sudden you're praying God don't kill him, just hurt him.
17:33
Kim Jones (Real Talk Kim): Then over more time spending time with God.
17:35
Kim Jones (Real Talk Kim): Then he's releasing all this anger and one day you wake up and you're healed.
17:41
Kim Jones (Real Talk Kim): It is pressing toward the mark of I'm going to.
17:45
Kim Jones (Real Talk Kim): I may not be okay today, but I'm going to be okay, kids, we're going to be okay.
17:53
Kim Jones (Real Talk Kim): We're going to be better than okay.
17:54
Kim Jones (Real Talk Kim): We are a testimony in the making.
17:55
Kim Jones (Real Talk Kim): That's what it's about.
17:56
Kim Jones (Real Talk Kim): You just keep going.
17:58
Kim Jones (Real Talk Kim): You keep pulling your leg, even if it feels like it's a turtle stuck in peanut butter.
18:03
Kim Jones (Real Talk Kim): You just pull it.
18:06
Kim Jones (Real Talk Kim): You may not know where you're going, but you ain't staying here.
18:09
Kim Jones (Real Talk Kim): I'm not staying here.
18:11
Kim Jones (Real Talk Kim): I love what Psalm 30 and five says.
18:13
Kim Jones (Real Talk Kim): It says weeping may endure for a night, but joy comes in the morning, yes, and so I believe that somebody's watching this today, ellen and their morning is here.
18:27
Kim Jones (Real Talk Kim): Their morning is here.
18:29
Kim Jones (Real Talk Kim): They're now saying weeping is gone.
18:31
Kim Jones (Real Talk Kim): Now I'm going to get up and I'm going to leave a legacy for the world of just how great God is, that I got a testimony now that is going to leave a legacy for the world of just how great God is, that I got a testimony now that is going to set the world free, my testimony of getting back up again, changing my heart.
18:46
Kim Jones (Real Talk Kim): Now I get to minister to people all over the world and write books, because God trusts those who go to hell and come out on fire.
18:56
Ellen Krause: That's so powerful.
18:57
Ellen Krause: You know, Kim, when I was reading your story, you mentioned something that really kind of attached to my heart and you said you share that, you and your children.
19:15
Ellen Krause: You moved in with your parents after your marriage ended, but you said it made you feel like a failure.
19:25
Ellen Krause: So why do you believe that God used that time as your greatest testimony?
19:34
Kim Jones (Real Talk Kim): You know, for me, I think God uses there's purpose in your pain and I think that if I would not have had to move back in cause, I left at 18, I ran away, I went and started living my life.
19:45
Kim Jones (Real Talk Kim): You couldn't tell me nothing and the worst, the worst fear of my life was having to move back in with my mother and my father.
19:52
Kim Jones (Real Talk Kim): They were great, they, they, they were the best mom and dad.
19:56
Kim Jones (Real Talk Kim): My dad just died four years ago.
19:58
Kim Jones (Real Talk Kim): They were married 52 years and when my dad was dying my mama was like serving you, baby, was the greatest assignment of my life.
20:05
Kim Jones (Real Talk Kim): It had nothing to do with my family and everything to do with the enemy, just didn't want me to get right and he said, girl, I'm going to let you wreck your plans because your plans are wrecking you.
20:16
Kim Jones (Real Talk Kim): So I'm going to go on and let you do all that you had to do, because you're building a testimony, but then you're going to hit rock bottom and I'm going to let you have to move back in with your mom and daddy, because your mom and daddy going to have to help you with those boys while you find yourself out of this hole.
20:31
Kim Jones (Real Talk Kim): Cause this time is the shift, this time is your awakening.
20:35
Kim Jones (Real Talk Kim): And so I think I had to move home for healing, because he's a good, good father and I think he knew that I had to move back home, back to the very place I was running from, so that the healing process could write all these books that I've written in the last 11 years.
20:51
Kim Jones (Real Talk Kim): You know, I think that if I wouldn't have walked through and had to move back home, I'd be in Punta Canta drinking an umbrella drink right now.
20:58
Kim Jones (Real Talk Kim): I sure would not be getting up every morning at 8 am and doing prayer on all my social platforms.
21:03
Kim Jones (Real Talk Kim): I wouldn't be pastoring Limitless Church and loving people back to life.
21:08
Kim Jones (Real Talk Kim): I wouldn't be here, but God knows.
21:12
Kim Jones (Real Talk Kim): And the day that all of us are born, doctors heard.
21:16
Kim Jones (Real Talk Kim): But hell, here's purpose.
21:18
Kim Jones (Real Talk Kim): Destiny, a game changer, a demon slayer.
21:22
Kim Jones (Real Talk Kim): You might be a late bloomer, but God's hand is on your life.
21:25
Kim Jones (Real Talk Kim): And just that one moment of saying, okay, I'm done, I'm done, I surrender, I surrender and let him start shifting that message, taking that scar and turn it into a star and that wound into a wisdom, that pain into your pulpit.
21:40
Kim Jones (Real Talk Kim): Things shift, just like that.
21:43
Kim Jones (Real Talk Kim): God will literally take the time you have left on this earth and he will shove every ounce of purpose that you thought you messed up, staying faithful in that toxic relationship longer than you should have, or making all these wrong decisions, or losing your family to that addiction, whatever your story is.
22:00
Kim Jones (Real Talk Kim): He'll take the time you got left and he will show out with your life.
22:06
Kim Jones (Real Talk Kim): You will rip people out of hell.
22:07
Kim Jones (Real Talk Kim): You'll be making heaven more crowded.
22:09
Kim Jones (Real Talk Kim): Because you got free life, college you couldn't even have gone to seminary and get the oil that's on your life.
22:15
Kim Jones (Real Talk Kim): Now You've been crushed.
22:16
Kim Jones (Real Talk Kim): Now you've got an anointing that can rip people you'll never even meet, just on social media, ripping them out of their hell and into their destiny.
22:26
Ellen Krause: And it's just never too late, no matter how old you are.
22:30
Ellen Krause: I've seen so many people, even in their 50s, 60s, 70s, who finally let go and can start to experience what you're talking about Letting letting God do the work.
22:49
Kim Jones (Real Talk Kim): My mother is 77.
22:51
Kim Jones (Real Talk Kim): My mother when my father.
22:53
Kim Jones (Real Talk Kim): She's always been like a wallflower, like she's just.
22:56
Kim Jones (Real Talk Kim): She had to take care of her brothers and sisters because her mother had mental issues.
23:01
Kim Jones (Real Talk Kim): Then she marries my father and he is this complete personality, just charisma oozing out of his pores, kind of cocky.
23:10
Kim Jones (Real Talk Kim): They ended up walking through devastation in their marriage, 25 years into their marriage, which ended up being the best gift my family ever had, cause my daddy turned into the greatest dad and husband on the planet.
23:22
Kim Jones (Real Talk Kim): The thing that should have killed them, healed them and my mother always was just doing for everybody else.
23:30
Kim Jones (Real Talk Kim): And when my dad died four years ago, my mother, all of a sudden, she was.
23:35
Kim Jones (Real Talk Kim): She was grieving a little and she was trying to find her place and she didn't know what to do.
23:41
Kim Jones (Real Talk Kim): She didn't have anybody else to take care of and I said, mother.
23:46
Kim Jones (Real Talk Kim): I said it is time for you to live.
23:48
Kim Jones (Real Talk Kim): I said you are living, you shall live and not die.
23:51
Kim Jones (Real Talk Kim): You ain't given up on life, you are just.
23:53
Kim Jones (Real Talk Kim): You have done everything for everybody else.
23:55
Kim Jones (Real Talk Kim): Now it's your time.
23:56
Kim Jones (Real Talk Kim): That woman went and wrote a book called Sleeping with a Stranger, which was my father, had dementia, and how my dad went from this incredible pastor quoting scriptures to being.
24:08
Kim Jones (Real Talk Kim): I mean, she had to change his diapers, and so she was talking about how her faith kept her in that season.
24:14
Kim Jones (Real Talk Kim): Her faith kept her in that season.
24:24
Kim Jones (Real Talk Kim): I have watched my mother at 73, 74, 75, 76, just turned 77 last week.
24:26
Kim Jones (Real Talk Kim): She is living her best life.
24:27
Kim Jones (Real Talk Kim): God is restoring everything into her life because of all the blessings she's ever been.
24:33
Kim Jones (Real Talk Kim): So you better believe it ain't never too late.
24:36
Kim Jones (Real Talk Kim): It ain't never too late.
24:39
Kim Jones (Real Talk Kim): It ain't never too late for you to take your life back and live your best life.
24:45
Ellen Krause: Absolutely.
24:46
Ellen Krause: One of the things that you indicated as part of your story is that you were too traumatized by your own pain to understand the pain and anger that your two boys were experiencing at the same time, and I'm just wondering, like now that you've gone through that, what advice would you give to someone who may be in a similar situation now about you know that balance between juggling taking care of yourself and taking care of your children when you're all so severely hurting.
25:26
Kim Jones (Real Talk Kim): You know, for me, Ellen, it was communication.
25:29
Kim Jones (Real Talk Kim): You know I had to.
25:31
Kim Jones (Real Talk Kim): I remember the day that I just broke because my kids.
25:36
Kim Jones (Real Talk Kim): You know that I just broke because my kids, you know, their father had ended up becoming an addict and there was no hope.
25:43
Kim Jones (Real Talk Kim): I mean, their marriage had no hope.
25:44
Kim Jones (Real Talk Kim): There was so much scars and so much pain and my kids' lullabies were hearing us party and yell and I had so much shame over that.
25:52
Kim Jones (Real Talk Kim): Like how did a preacher's daughter get so far away from God?
25:56
Kim Jones (Real Talk Kim): And these kids of mine now just ripped out of their home and had to move back in with my mom and dad.
26:01
Kim Jones (Real Talk Kim): And I was beating myself up, man.
26:03
Kim Jones (Real Talk Kim): I mean I was trying to find anything I could to just escape.
26:06
Kim Jones (Real Talk Kim): And I remember one day my mother walks in my room and she says baby girl.
26:10
Kim Jones (Real Talk Kim): She said, but did it kill you?
26:11
Kim Jones (Real Talk Kim): And I said, no, it didn't kill me, mama.
26:14
Kim Jones (Real Talk Kim): She said, but you got to get up and you got to live and you got to be there for your boys.
26:21
Kim Jones (Real Talk Kim): And that was like torture for me because I was mad, like how do I have I can't even grieve this because I got two kids that need me and I'm grieving, I am.
26:29
Kim Jones (Real Talk Kim): It's like divorce is worse than death, because they're still here and most of the time, if they ain't really walking and healing, they are mad.
26:38
Kim Jones (Real Talk Kim): And so they're texting you habitually.
26:40
Kim Jones (Real Talk Kim): And I gave myself the greatest gift I would lay hands on myself every single morning and I would just say God, I give my heart to you and I pray that you allow me to ignore anything that is not of you and help me know how to parent my two boys in this season and give me grace for myself.
27:04
Kim Jones (Real Talk Kim): Because I had Ellen.
27:07
Kim Jones (Real Talk Kim): I had to have grace for me.
27:10
Kim Jones (Real Talk Kim): It didn't take me a year to get where I was.
27:13
Kim Jones (Real Talk Kim): This was 18 years of a marriage that now I'm walking alone and I am broken.
27:20
Kim Jones (Real Talk Kim): I had to give myself grace, and one of the greatest gifts I ever gave was I began to humble myself to my sons and I began to listen to them and I they would be saying stuff like well, you and dad, because a lot of times the kids take it out on the parent that stays with them, you know, because they're angry, and I would allow my boys and I just to sit and I would let them just talk and then I would just say guys, I'm so sorry, I'm so sorry.
27:47
Kim Jones (Real Talk Kim): Even as I began to transform into this great woman of God, my kids were still angry, and so I had to, instead of saying don't you see me change?
27:58
Kim Jones (Real Talk Kim): Ain't you seeing it?
27:59
Kim Jones (Real Talk Kim): Ain't you seeing the growth in me?
28:02
Kim Jones (Real Talk Kim): I had to tell them I'm sorry.
28:05
Kim Jones (Real Talk Kim): I had to just keep saying I'm sorry.
28:06
Kim Jones (Real Talk Kim): All I can say to you is mama's going to change this, I'm going to change this, I'm going to fix this, I'm going to work on me.
28:14
Kim Jones (Real Talk Kim): And then, over time, now, ellen, literally, I mean, I started doing hobbies with them, I started spending time with them.
28:22
Kim Jones (Real Talk Kim): I didn't want to have the time because I wanted to lay in my bed.
28:25
Kim Jones (Real Talk Kim): I'd go eat with them.
28:26
Kim Jones (Real Talk Kim): I just sit at that table with them.
28:28
Kim Jones (Real Talk Kim): I started literally building a rapport and relationship with my two sons as their real mom at six and I mean what?
28:37
Kim Jones (Real Talk Kim): Seven and nine.
28:38
Kim Jones (Real Talk Kim): And we began to build this relationship and, thank God, I had a mom and a dad that were there for me as well, because I was working and they would stay with my parents when I was working.
28:48
Kim Jones (Real Talk Kim): And over time, now, what it's been 11 years and, girl, my kids are working with me in ministry, they're running departments in my church.
29:00
Kim Jones (Real Talk Kim): They are watching their mother, literally, I mean, pull so many people out of their despair.
29:07
Kim Jones (Real Talk Kim): They're watching me love people back to life.
29:10
Kim Jones (Real Talk Kim): So it was not necessary for me to prove my point back then.
29:14
Kim Jones (Real Talk Kim): It was necessary for me to heal so they could see my fruit.
29:17
Kim Jones (Real Talk Kim): And I am proof that you can.
29:20
Kim Jones (Real Talk Kim): Literally God will suppress the bad pain in those kids' minds and he will bring joy.
29:28
Kim Jones (Real Talk Kim): And now they got me, they got my husband, they got my mother, they got my church family.
29:34
Kim Jones (Real Talk Kim): They are thriving, but it's because I allowed myself to heal with them.
29:40
Kim Jones (Real Talk Kim): We went to therapy too.
29:44
Ellen Krause: Yes, you know, thank you for sharing that, because I just it's such a difficult place to be in when you're personally struggling and you need to help them as well.
29:56
Ellen Krause: When you're personally struggling and you need to help them as well.
29:59
Ellen Krause: So I thought that that was really awesome that you included that and were willing to admit that, cause I don't think a lot of people would be like I remember one night wanting to do a video, one of those quizzes you know on Facebook, and it's like 25 things about me.
30:15
Kim Jones (Real Talk Kim): And we were just telling you, like, my favorite color is hot pink or whatever.
30:19
Kim Jones (Real Talk Kim): And I started to do that quiz and it said what's your favorite color?
30:23
Kim Jones (Real Talk Kim): And I couldn't even tell you what my favorite color was.
30:25
Kim Jones (Real Talk Kim): I was so lost.
30:27
Kim Jones (Real Talk Kim): It said what is your favorite food?
30:29
Kim Jones (Real Talk Kim): I couldn't even tell you what my favorite food was.
30:32
Kim Jones (Real Talk Kim): And that night I broke again.
30:34
Kim Jones (Real Talk Kim): I have just, I don't even know me anymore.
30:38
Kim Jones (Real Talk Kim): And, of course, me and God were friends, because that's all I had was God.
30:42
Kim Jones (Real Talk Kim): At the moment.
30:42
Kim Jones (Real Talk Kim): Friends walk out on your.
30:44
Kim Jones (Real Talk Kim): They walk out on you when you're going through something traumatic.
30:46
Kim Jones (Real Talk Kim): A lot of them do you know.
30:49
Kim Jones (Real Talk Kim): And I said, god, I need to know.
30:51
Kim Jones (Real Talk Kim): I wrote it in my journal even Ellen, I need to know at least 25 things about me that you formed me to become before I got in front and messed everything up Seven days later, ellen, this is why y'all got to talk to God about everything, because he cares about everything in your life I said, god, I need 25 things.
31:12
Kim Jones (Real Talk Kim): Seven days later, ellen, it was Mother's Day and my Lincoln Presley walks in my room and hands me a poem and it is 35 things that I love about you, Ellen.
31:31
Kim Jones (Real Talk Kim): I went Girl, I'm talking like that first one was my whole life with those boys that were like mama, don't you be loud at my basketball games?
31:42
Kim Jones (Real Talk Kim): It's embarrassing, and of course I'd be like the first one said mama, I love you because you were the loudest one at my basketball games.
31:48
Kim Jones (Real Talk Kim): It's embarrassing and of course I'd be like, wow.
31:49
Kim Jones (Real Talk Kim): The first one said mama, I love you because you were the loudest one at my basketball.
31:52
Kim Jones (Real Talk Kim): Number six said I'll never forget this.
31:53
Kim Jones (Real Talk Kim): It said mother, oh, I'm gonna cry.
31:55
Kim Jones (Real Talk Kim): It said mama, I love you because you conquered hell and high heels.
31:59
Kim Jones (Real Talk Kim): And he was just saying mama, you feel scarred.
32:04
Kim Jones (Real Talk Kim): You may feel like you messed up, but to us we see that you made it through some things that would kill somebody else.
32:10
Kim Jones (Real Talk Kim): And that was my first ministry name Conquering Hell and High Heels.
32:21
Ellen Krause: Tell us about, you know, Jesus did endure so many things abuse and pain.
32:30
Ellen Krause: How does that help us, you know, get through our own situations when we look at what he has gone through for us.
32:41
Kim Jones (Real Talk Kim): You know it's so hard because, like every single time something bad happens, I'm going to get under one of my posts.
32:48
Kim Jones (Real Talk Kim): Well, where was God at in this?
32:49
Kim Jones (Real Talk Kim): You know, it's really easy to begin to question God.
32:53
Kim Jones (Real Talk Kim): Like, where was he?
32:54
Kim Jones (Real Talk Kim): Well, he took 39 stripes, so I didn't have to take 40.
32:59
Kim Jones (Real Talk Kim): Like, he literally got up on that cross when he could have got himself down and said I'm taking one for you.
33:07
Kim Jones (Real Talk Kim): I'm getting up on this cross for that divorce that's going to paralyze you.
33:11
Kim Jones (Real Talk Kim): I'm going to get up on this cross for that depression that's going to be passed down from your mother to your aunt, to you, to.
33:18
Kim Jones (Real Talk Kim): I'm getting up on this cross for that cancer that keeps coming back in your body and I'm telling you it is finished.
33:26
Kim Jones (Real Talk Kim): And when we understand this, when we find ourselves walking through these seasons of the wilderness, you know those seasons that really create who we are we don't get who we, we don't become the greatest.
33:39
Kim Jones (Real Talk Kim): We are up on that mountaintop.
33:41
Kim Jones (Real Talk Kim): It's the wilderness, it's the betrayal, it's the taking your breath away heartache.
33:48
Kim Jones (Real Talk Kim): You know, it's those moments where we have to cry out to God.
33:51
Kim Jones (Real Talk Kim): Like God, I can't do it anymore.
33:54
Kim Jones (Real Talk Kim): And that's where I have found, ellen, that God intervenes.
33:58
Kim Jones (Real Talk Kim): The teacher is always silent during the test.
34:01
Kim Jones (Real Talk Kim): He's always using those moments, those choices that we made, that we shouldn't have made, or those, those, those, even, even even the pain that we feel.
34:11
Kim Jones (Real Talk Kim): It may not be our fault, but the healing is our responsibility, you know it's.
34:16
Kim Jones (Real Talk Kim): It's our responsibility to know he's the same yesterday, today and forever, and the work that he started in us he is faithful to complete it.
34:26
Kim Jones (Real Talk Kim): But we have to let go and let God, and so I think the finished work was up on that cross.
34:32
Kim Jones (Real Talk Kim): And so every single time we feel unjust, we feel like justice hasn't been served, every time we feel like they're getting away with what they did to us, we have to bow our knee.
34:44
Kim Jones (Real Talk Kim): Don't take it to the phone.
34:45
Kim Jones (Real Talk Kim): Take it to us.
34:46
Kim Jones (Real Talk Kim): We have to bow our knee.
34:46
Kim Jones (Real Talk Kim): Don't take it to the phone.
34:47
Kim Jones (Real Talk Kim): Take it to the throne, take it to that room where you can push back your plate for 24 hours and say God, I know some things only come through fasting and prayer.
34:54
Kim Jones (Real Talk Kim): I'm going to lay in this room and I'm going to get an answer.
34:56
Kim Jones (Real Talk Kim): I'm going to saturate myself in your spirit, your word, and I have made in the image of you when I accepted Jesus as my personal savior.
35:05
Kim Jones (Real Talk Kim): You live in here and so I think it's just every single time you start wanting to get in your flesh, you tell yourself flesh die, flesh die, and you keep looking forward instead of backward, and you will see the finished work.
35:19
Kim Jones (Real Talk Kim): You will see God working this thing out, I promise you.
35:22
Kim Jones (Real Talk Kim): When you let go and you let God get out of your own strength, he says in the word of God at least 365 times in some form or fashion.
35:32
Kim Jones (Real Talk Kim): It says do not fear, because he knew for every day of the year you're going to have something jump on you that would scare you.
35:38
Kim Jones (Real Talk Kim): And he says do not fear, I got you and that's how you do it.
35:42
Kim Jones (Real Talk Kim): You got to get out of your situation.
35:45
Kim Jones (Real Talk Kim): Stop thinking those thoughts that you're thinking.
35:47
Kim Jones (Real Talk Kim): Stop stalking them on Facebook.
35:49
Kim Jones (Real Talk Kim): Stop letting people keep you updated on things that do not concern you anymore and you watch elevation take place.
35:56
Kim Jones (Real Talk Kim): Separation comes before elevation.
35:59
Kim Jones (Real Talk Kim): Stay focused.
36:02
Ellen Krause: Right, Right.
36:04
Ellen Krause: I often have to remind myself that if I'm in this state of battling whether I'm forgivable or not, remembering that if I don't allow Jesus to forgive me, then I mean that's what he went to the cross to do, so we have to accept that and be able to allow that healing it's kind of selfish, isn't it?
36:35
Kim Jones (Real Talk Kim): I've never really heard it said the way you just said it.
36:37
Kim Jones (Real Talk Kim): It's kind of selfish for us to think that our mistakes are way bigger than the grace of God, for us to think that our mistakes are way bigger than the grace of God that he has made us in the image.
36:50
Kim Jones (Real Talk Kim): If, if we just sit back and look Ellen, some of the greatest people of the Bible that we're studying about today made huge mistakes.
37:03
Kim Jones (Real Talk Kim): Yes, and God just reaches down and says I got you, I won't.
37:05
Kim Jones (Real Talk Kim): They may walk out on you, but I'm not going to walk out on you.
37:08
Kim Jones (Real Talk Kim): I got you and I'm going to turn this mess to a message.
37:11
Kim Jones (Real Talk Kim): So it's kind of selfish when we don't allow him to forgive us and we forgive ourselves.
37:18
Ellen Krause: Yeah, absolutely.
37:19
Ellen Krause: You have some awesome examples of people in the Bible, just as you mentioned, and I just want to let our listeners know that there's so much to your book that will help encourage them.
37:35
Ellen Krause: Kim, how can people find more information about you and the book?
37:43
Kim Jones (Real Talk Kim): Listen, all you Coffee and Bible Time podcasters.
37:47
Kim Jones (Real Talk Kim): You can find me at realtalkkim.
37:49
Kim Jones (Real Talk Kim): com that is my website or you can on every social out there.
37:54
Kim Jones (Real Talk Kim): I am real talk Kim, just real talk Kim, all the way across, and I'd love to stay connected.
38:00
Kim Jones (Real Talk Kim): And y'all go get my brand new book Unstuck.
38:02
Kim Jones (Real Talk Kim): It'll bless you.
38:05
Ellen Krause: All right.
38:05
Ellen Krause: Well, we will make sure we include those links in our show notes Before we go.
38:10
Ellen Krause: Kim, I have to ask you some of our favorite Bible study tool questions, because people wait for this what Bible is your go-to Bible and what translation is it?
38:21
Kim Jones (Real Talk Kim): Y'all, I love.
38:21
Kim Jones (Real Talk Kim): I love this right here.
38:22
Kim Jones (Real Talk Kim): It's a women's Bible.
38:23
Kim Jones (Real Talk Kim): I do everything in NLT.
38:23
Kim Jones (Real Talk Kim): I love the new living translation.
38:31
Kim Jones (Real Talk Kim): It's just easier for me to understand.
38:33
Kim Jones (Real Talk Kim): And then is that the first question.
38:41
Ellen Krause: Awesome, that's so great.
38:42
Ellen Krause: Okay, so do you have any favorite journaling supplies or anything that you like to use to enhance your Bible study time?
38:49
Kim Jones (Real Talk Kim): So every three months I get a new journal because I don't want to be having to dig through, like I believe, every quarter.
38:56
Kim Jones (Real Talk Kim): God elevates us and cleanses us.
38:58
Kim Jones (Real Talk Kim): So this is my journal for the summer months and it is the no vacancy journal is what I named it and it's stuff that I'm just letting go of.
39:09
Kim Jones (Real Talk Kim): See how pretty that is.
39:09
Kim Jones (Real Talk Kim): It's a girl's dress, it's feminine, reminding me to stay soft and not ratchet.
39:14
Kim Jones (Real Talk Kim): I love journaling, so every three months I just get me a new journal.
39:21
Ellen Krause: Awesome, that one's super cute.
39:23
Ellen Krause: Okay, last question what is your favorite app or website for Bible study tools?
39:29
Kim Jones (Real Talk Kim): Oh, I love the YouVersion app, y-o-u-v-e-r-s-o-n, and the Blue Letter Bible.
39:36
Kim Jones (Real Talk Kim): I love that as well.
39:38
Ellen Krause: Okay, those are both awesome.
39:40
Ellen Krause: All right, and Coffee and Bible Time has a devotional on the YouVersion app too, so a few of them.
39:47
Kim Jones (Real Talk Kim): Let me make sure I go get it.
39:50
Ellen Krause: Kim, thank you so much for being here today to encourage all of us to get back up.
39:57
Ellen Krause: Sometimes getting unstuck can seem impossible and it takes courage, but praise God, he gives us that courage that we need to put one foot in front of the other.
40:08
Ellen Krause: So thank you.
40:10
Kim Jones (Real Talk Kim): Thank you so much, Ellen.
40:11
Kim Jones (Real Talk Kim): I love all of you.
40:12
Kim Jones (Real Talk Kim): Thank you for having me.
40:15
Ellen Krause: All right, and for our listeners, be sure to get a copy of Kim's book.
40:19
Ellen Krause: You Gotta Get Up.
40:21
Ellen Krause: For even more encouragement, we will have the link in our show notes.
40:26
Ellen Krause: For even more encouragement, we will have the link in our show notes.
40:30
Ellen Krause: We love you all.
40:30
Ellen Krause: We appreciate you listening.
40:31
Ellen Krause: If you could leave a review, that would be so appreciated.
40:33
Ellen Krause: Have a blessed day.