Latest / The Spiritual Parent: Mindful Tools for Raising Spiritual and Conscious Kids / Healing Ourselves to Parent Better From Our Hearts with Ann Bruinsma

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Healing Ourselves to Parent Better From Our Hearts with Ann Bruinsma · The Spiritual Parent: Mindful Tools for Raising Spiritual and Conscious Kids

• 0:03
  Carrie: I started to receive some healing myself emotional healing I found that my kids were no longer in timeout so much anymore.
• 0:12
  Carrie: It's so wild how, as you start healing, you can become a more patient mom.
• 0:18
  Carrie: You feel less triggered.
• 0:21
  Carrie: I stopped yelling as much, I just was a lot less reactive.
• 0:26
  Carrie: And so then, when the kids were doing the exact same behaviors that they would always do, I could handle it and I didn't have to resort to timeout or yelling Like they were suddenly overnight good kids, wild how that works.
• 0:43
  Carrie: So I have to say that's probably the number one way to help your children is to work on yourself.
• 0:50
  Ann: I love that so much.
• 0:52
  Ann: I feel like it's such a cycle of when, as we heal ourselves, then they they feel that.
• 0:58
  Ann: Welcome to Heart to Heart.
• 1:02
  Ann: Parents, let's connect with our kids and learn together.
• 1:05
  Ann: I'm Keri.
• 1:06
  Ann: I was a former teacher and speech therapist.
• 1:08
  Ann: I'm also a parent of two spirited, gifted, highly sensitive kids.
• 1:13
  Ann: I was quickly brought to my knees as a parent when I thought that I would see a rosy lens version of parenting just as they present on Instagram, but I quickly learned that's not real life.
• 1:24
  Ann: I will provide real life experiences and transform them into moments for connections and change for you to use in your house.
• 1:38
  Ann: Hi, this is Keri with Heart to Heart Podcast.
• 1:40
  Ann: I'm here with my good friend, anne with Live your Light.
• 1:45
  Ann: Is that right?
• 1:47
  Ann: Yes, sorry, I only know he was Anne, so I had to think about that.
• 1:50
  Ann: And she I have been reading her background online, which is super awesome.
• 1:56
  Ann: There were so many things I was like I don't know if I can list all these things.
• 1:59
  Ann: So I have been going to Anne.
• 2:02
  Ann: It's been almost a couple of years now.
• 2:04
  Ann: It's been a while to join your Qigong class and that's where we originally connected, was doing some Qigong sessions and some group sessions with you and it's really lit my fire.
• 2:17
  Ann: It's really helped me with my self-healing and my self-care and it's part of my self-care plan is now coming to see you weekly when we do our Qigong sessions.
• 2:26
  Ann: But welcome Anne, I'm so excited to have you here.
• 2:31
  Carrie: I'm really excited to be here and I've been listening to your podcast and I wish that I had your podcast when my kids were little, because there is so much good information in it, and I'm even using some of your tools with my kids, even though they're teenagers now.
• 2:48
  Carrie: So I love what you're doing and it's such an honor to be here.
• 2:52
  Carrie: I'm so blessed.
• 2:54
  Ann: I feel so, so honored to have you save us.
• 2:57
  Ann: That's so, so enlightening for me.
• 2:59
  Ann: But I wanted to ask you a little bit.
• 3:02
  Ann: Can you tell us a little bit about yourself, Anne?
• 3:04
  Ann: I forgot to ask for that, Sure absolutely so.
• 3:07
  Carrie: I'm a mom of three teenagers and so we are like in that stage they're all within three and a half years of each other.
• 3:16
  Carrie: So I kind of had kids boom, boom, boom and that meant that we could have them all kind of at the same stages at the same time, but also it was really overwhelming and, you know, needed to have a lot of change in learning how to parent.
• 3:34
  Carrie: So I started out actually in the business world doing finance and data analysis and data analysis and then, as I had my kids, started to, you know, have my own undoing, my own unwinding, unraveling and really energy work is what saved me and saved my kids.
• 3:56
  Carrie: And so I went from this, you know, super right brained, go go go kind of person into now I am a clinical Qigong practitioner and I do other energy modalities as well, like emotion code and body code and just really healing the body holistically.
• 4:18
  Carrie: I love working with kids, I love working with parents, I love working with parents.
• 4:21
  Carrie: So I, I love working with everybody, I like people.
• 4:23
  Carrie: So, um, yeah, it's, it's magic, it's absolute magic.
• 4:27
  Ann: Yeah, I love it so much and I love your background and how you shifted when you felt the calling to shift, and it's amazing, it's so, so spiritual.
• 4:38
  Ann: I love that piece of the puzzle for you and I for me, I've I've done, um, I studied Reiki and sometimes now my kids ask me for it and I love that so much and it's I love when we can find those things to help us and help our kids and it's wonderful.
• 4:55
  Ann: So, and uh, have you found if your personal emotions and energy can affect your kids, and what does that look like for you guys?
• 5:04
  Carrie: Oh, my goodness, do you know?
• 5:05
  Carrie: Um, this is probably the number one biggest thing when we have neurodivergent kids, when we have kids that are struggling and are not behaving, and we're getting mad at them all the time and we're trying to figure out what's wrong with them, and it's really humbling to realize how much our own energy is affecting them.
• 5:27
  Carrie: I was not like you.
• 5:30
  Carrie: When my kids were little, I was stubborn, I was a perfectionist.
• 5:35
  Carrie: I was reading every single book on the market of how to parent and why aren't my kids doing this and how do I fix it?
• 5:44
  Carrie: And it was all just so like black and white, a lot of force, a lot of control, and I mean I was trying everything, like my heart was in the right place, but I was not listening to my own heart, listening to my own intuition.
• 5:58
  Carrie: I was just like following the rules and they were not working.
• 6:02
  Carrie: And so then, um, as I started to receive some healing myself emotional healing, um, I found that my kids were no longer in timeout so much anymore.
• 6:14
  Carrie: It's so wild how, as you start healing, you can become a more patient mom, you feel less triggered, I stopped yelling as much.
• 6:25
  Carrie: I just was a lot less reactive.
• 6:28
  Carrie: And so then, when the kids were doing the exact same behaviors that they would always do, I could handle it and I didn't have to resort to timeout or yelling like they were suddenly overnight good kids, wild, how that works.
• 6:45
  Carrie: So I have to say that's that's probably the number one way to help your children is to work on yourself.
• 6:52
  Ann: I love that so much.
• 6:54
  Ann: I feel like it's such a cycle of when, as we heal ourselves, then they, they feel that and they start to kind of calm down and they feel your energy and also things don't bother you as much and it's just this huge cycle and it becomes like a positive cycle.
• 7:11
  Carrie: Right, yes, it really can.
• 7:13
  Carrie: And that goes for moms and dads.
• 7:15
  Carrie: So you know and a lot of times it's the moms that I work with, because they're the ones who are so desperate that they need something to change with, because they're the ones who are so desperate that they need something to change but with dads as well, like if we can do our own healing, it is amazing how much it helps the next generation.
• 7:32
  Carrie: And like, don't even judge yourself if you haven't done it until today, like there's no time, like the present.
• 7:38
  Carrie: Don't live in the past.
• 7:40
  Carrie: Stop beating yourself up over the past.
• 7:42
  Carrie: Just know that, even if you do your own personal work, like now, like I'm even looking at my own parents and they are in their seventies and as they do their personal work and heal, it improves our relationships at holidays and when we get together.
• 7:58
  Carrie: So it opens up healing for me and then my kids, and you know it's it's multi-generational, this healing I love that that's so beautiful.
• 8:06
  Ann: I didn't even think about kids and you know it's, it's multi-generational, this healing.
• 8:08
  Ann: I love that.
• 8:10
  Ann: That's so beautiful.
• 8:10
  Ann: I didn't even think about it and I I agree with you.
• 8:12
  Ann: I think sometimes we think our grandparent era or generation might not be open to these pieces that we're looking at in our families or they may not be open to the new ways that we're kind of changing how we parent, maybe a little less timeouts and such in our houses.
• 8:27
  Ann: But I feel like my parents have also been so open and it really helps the whole family when we work together and we heal all these pieces for all of us.
• 8:35
  Ann: I love that it's beautiful.
• 8:39
  Ann: So we have connected so much about our kids, you and I, and the overlapping things we're finding with, like, their personalities, their gifts, their sensitivities, their giftedness, their behaviors, and we were talking about how neurodivergent behavior can be caused by so many different things.
• 9:01
  Ann: So what have you found have been some of these areas that have kind of that you found out about and you've researched about?
• 9:08
  Ann: I know you are always researching and teaching me new things, which I love.
• 9:12
  Carrie: It's so much fun to keep learning, right, yeah.
• 9:14
  Carrie: Yeah, I love how, on your podcast, you talk about gifted, sensitive and spirited Like that is just such a nice way of putting it and I really do think we have a lot of overlap in our kids.
• 9:27
  Carrie: Mine are, just like that, one step older than yours, yeah, and so out of all three of them, it's funny how you you want to work on like the worst behavior, right, and then you start to realize that, like, all of the kids actually need support.
• 9:45
  Carrie: They all need support in a different way.
• 9:48
  Carrie: So for a long time I was just focusing on one of my kids and eventually realized that they all just had, you know, different needs.
• 9:58
  Carrie: So one of mine has been diagnosed with ADHD, so, and he was always bouncy, like if anybody would ask which one is your kid, he'd be the one bouncing in the crowd, right, so bouncing, no body control wouldn't sleep at night, wouldn't take naps as a baby.
• 10:15
  Carrie: A lot of gut issues, potty issues, food intolerances I mean so many different things.
• 10:21
  Carrie: Very gifted, very sensitive, very spirited.
• 10:27
  Carrie: Okay, just describe mine, I know right.
• 10:29
  Carrie: So I mean, the first thing we realized is that food was really a big deal for him and food was not an issue for the other two.
• 10:38
  Carrie: But if he ate like those fruit gummies he would instantly react and like have no body control anymore.
• 10:47
  Carrie: It was something about the food dyes and when he was old enough to describe it, he could tell me that he felt like lightning zapping through his brain when he had those gummies, gluten was activating his nervous system, so when we pulled gluten out he was a lot calmer and it was like, oh, he still has ADHD, but he's way calmer than he had been.
• 11:13
  Carrie: Um, and then dairy was having an effect too, and so food things, like we just had to kind of tweak it for about five years and now he's eating anything he wants and I'm sure it affects him a little, but it's, it's not such a big deal.
• 11:28
  Carrie: Um, and with him we also found heavy metal toxicity and it was probably, you know, received in utero.
• 11:38
  Carrie: So when I was with him he received some of my heavy metals and then he had also gotten Lyme disease from me, and so you put all of these things together and he was born with, you know, some different physical things that then were creating this super sensitive, like big energy.
• 11:59
  Carrie: So we found that by addressing those I mean he's now in high school and just really balanced and an outsider wouldn't really be able to tell that he has ADHD and really under control.
• 12:16
  Carrie: So that was really cool.
• 12:18
  Ann: I love that.
• 12:19
  Ann: That's really.
• 12:19
  Ann: That's wonderful how you you search for all of these answers and narrowed it down and figured out what worked best for him.
• 12:27
  Ann: And as you're saying it, I was thinking, oh my goodness, I went crazy eating bagels and cream cheese when I was pregnant with my first and when he came out, I had this instinct of I shouldn't eat gluten.
• 12:40
  Ann: And I didn't give him gluten for the first year of his life and then, when I gave it to him when he was 12 months old, we just watched the eczema go right up his back and so I was thinking about it.
• 12:50
  Ann: When he first came out, he really wanted to just be with mom the whole time and was having a lot of sleep issues.
• 12:56
  Ann: But I was thinking maybe he was detoxing from all of the gluten and dairy that I was eating because it was one of my comfort foods when I was going through pregnancy.
• 13:05
  Ann: So it's really interesting when we look back at these pieces of the puzzles.
• 13:10
  Ann: Yeah, right.
• 13:11
  Carrie: It took me seven years to figure out that gluten was an issue.
• 13:14
  Carrie: When my son could finally talk and we cut out all of these foods, we realized that gluten was giving him belly aches, eggs were giving him headaches, Wow.
• 13:27
  Carrie: And then, you know, the food dyes were doing that lightning thing in his head.
• 13:32
  Carrie: So when he could finally put it into words and he had never known his whole life, he had a bellyache and headache and none of us knew it until the headache and bellyache were gone.
• 13:43
  Ann: Yes, yes, it's hard for them to describe what's going on if they don't even know the terms for it or that it's abnormal.
• 13:52
  Carrie: Right, yeah, so the fact that you figured that out right when he was born, that's amazing.
• 13:58
  Ann: Well, I mean it, it it helped, but my husband couldn't see the scientific piece of it.
• 14:03
  Ann: So he, he was a little.
• 14:05
  Ann: We we try.
• 14:06
  Ann: We went back and forth here and there for a while.
• 14:08
  Ann: It took a little while for us to figure it out.
• 14:10
  Ann: But you look back and you say we did the best we could right, absolutely yeah, and it's interesting, because I had another son who had totally different things going on.
• 14:22
  Carrie: So he was really close to anger all the time and he would slam doors and punch walls and if you even said the word no or hinted at the word no, it was like the biggest criticism ever and he would just fly off the handle and, um, just like really dysregulated with his emotions, yeah.
• 14:44
  Carrie: And so then the question was like, what do you do with that?
• 14:47
  Carrie: It wasn't for him, and you know where do you go, and so we were just going to all of our different practitioners and trying a lot of different things and for him, um, some of it was about electronics.
• 15:00
  Carrie: So, um, anytime he would use the computer or the iPad or watch TV.
• 15:08
  Carrie: It's like he lost his energetic boundaries and he wasn't able to like maintain uh, how do I even say it?
• 15:17
  Carrie: You know, his sense of self.
• 15:19
  Carrie: Yeah, he just kind of would be overtaken by the chaos around him or the energy around him.
• 15:26
  Carrie: Overtaken by the chaos around him or the energy around him, and it would take him a really long time to get back to, you know, center and himself.
• 15:34
  Carrie: And so, with him, a lot of the work we did was around boundaries, around grounding, and you know feeling the earth and going into nature like just going outside after being on electronics and just looking up at the sun, it can reground you in this beautiful way.
• 15:50
  Ann: Yes, I love that so much.
• 15:52
  Ann: I we have similar reactions with both kids with the TV.
• 15:56
  Ann: So before we watch TV I have to set like a guideline of you get one episode and then after that we're going to turn it off and we're going to go outside and going outside and jumping on the trampoline or just riding our bikes.
• 16:08
  Ann: It's.
• 16:09
  Ann: It's so helpful to be out in the sun, be out in nature.
• 16:12
  Ann: I totally agree with that and we see a lot of the behaviors, but TV as well.
• 16:17
  Carrie: Well, and we tried so many different things where for a while we would say only electronics on weekends, so then during the week we wouldn't have all this crazy stuff, but then they wouldn't want to go do things on the weekends, because that was their electronic time.
• 16:32
  Carrie: Or sometimes we'd be like, I think one summer we said no electronics the whole week.
• 16:38
  Carrie: The whole week, no, I don't know.
• 16:41
  Carrie: We just cut it out a lot, because sometimes you don't even want the one episode because it just puts you back into the spiral.
• 16:50
  Ann: Yeah, I think they get into that, that loop or that, that like zone where I know the feeling when I'm watching TV and you can kind of just like check out and you're just like in this meditative kind of zone.
• 17:03
  Ann: So as soon as you break that abruptly, it can be hard to kind of transition into something else.
• 17:10
  Carrie: So I usually think of it more as dissociating, as opposed to meditative, it's like no, they're dissociating.
• 17:18
  Carrie: They're like reading their body and they're not here anymore and then they can kind of be controlled by other energy, kind of be you know, brought down.
• 17:31
  Ann: Great, oh dear.
• 17:32
  Ann: I'm thinking of my sick kids and I'm like, oh man, I let them watch TV sometimes when they're sick.
• 17:37
  Ann: Great, it's going to be a great afternoon.
• 17:39
  Ann: No, I'm just kidding.
• 17:40
  Carrie: No, but all they have to do is go back outside.
• 17:43
  Carrie: Okay, so they'll reset.
• 17:45
  Ann: They'll reset, they'll be outside.
• 17:47
  Carrie: Okay, so the reset will be outside, and my daughter always had belly aches and a lot of anxiety, so she would like cry and not want to go to school in elementary school.
• 18:00
  Carrie: And well, my belly hurts and you didn't know which one came first Was it the anxiety or the belly?
• 18:04
  Carrie: And you didn't know which one came first.
• 18:06
  Carrie: Was it the anxiety or the belly Right?
• 18:07
  Carrie: And then she would get urinary tract infections and we got her ears pierced and her ears would get infected and like all these infections and toe infections and and all the things like what's going on with this poor sweet thing.
• 18:24
  Carrie: And we eventually figured out that for her it was that she was such a deep empath that she was taking on everybody else's energy, like she could walk into a room and just feel how everybody was feeling and she took that on.
• 18:40
  Carrie: Um, so with her.
• 18:43
  Carrie: I mean, she's a lot older now and better at it, but still she needs help clearing herself.
• 18:48
  Carrie: Yes, yeah, like for us, cause she wouldn't fall asleep at night because it would still all be bothering her, and so I would actually use different tools and techniques to clear her of other people's energy every single night before she goes, every single night before she goes, and now she's able to do some of that herself.
• 19:09
  Carrie: And you know she's become super aware of when things are not working for her and you know like she can say hey, mom, I need you to clear me, because she knows what it feels like to not have other people's energy in her space and she knows when to ask for help.
• 19:28
  Carrie: Okay.
• 19:30
  Ann: That's so empowering it really is.
• 19:33
  Carrie: So I think the big like point here is just that every kid is different.
• 19:37
  Carrie: They all need help in different ways, but they all still need support.
• 19:43
  Ann: Yes, yes, and following their lead when they're telling you that they're having a headache and they're telling you their tummy hurts, when they're reacting to TV like understanding and trying to figure out the root of what's going on, not just walking past it.
• 20:00
  Ann: Does your daughter, um, so like with my kids?
• 20:03
  Ann: I, I have them tried.
• 20:05
  Ann: We talk about, actually, I walk them through a visualization of doing like a white light around them and then a gold light, and then we say no negative energy allowed, only positive energy.
• 20:14
  Ann: Does she use something like that before she goes to school each day?
• 20:19
  Ann: Someone taught me that when I first started student teaching, when I student taught first grade, because I would just go into the room, go into all the energy and just be like I am here, I'm going to be your teacher and I love every one of you, and I would get so sick Like I had an adult ear infection one time when I was student teaching first grade.
• 20:41
  Ann: It was so bad they had to give me a shot in the bum for the pain.
• 20:44
  Ann: So, um, yeah, so that practice is really I think it helps my kids, so it might be useful for your daughter too.
• 20:53
  Carrie: Thank you, I like that.
• 20:54
  Carrie: You know.
• 20:54
  Carrie: One of them that we've done is putting roses on the edge of your field, and so your energetic field should be at least three feet out from your body.
• 21:03
  Carrie: And then you don't want it to be a concrete boundary where nothing gets in and you can't feel, but you also don't want to be so loosey goosey that everything gets through.
• 21:14
  Carrie: So we just put these beautiful roses on the edge of the field and they're a nice filter.
• 21:19
  Carrie: They just bounce back other people's fears and anxiety and anger or whatever they're going through.
• 21:25
  Carrie: Bounce it back to them so they can see it and be aware of it.
• 21:29
  Carrie: Yeah, but let the kindness and the love and the compassion come through.
• 21:34
  Ann: Yeah, yeah, that's so important.
• 21:36
  Ann: Yeah, filtering, teaching them to filter and yeah, these are some great tools.
• 21:40
  Ann: Do you have tools in your own toolbox that you use for yourself, mom?
• 21:50
  Carrie: your own toolbox that you use for yourself, mom.
• 21:51
  Carrie: Oh, my goodness, um, of course, right, um, a lot of it is grounding and taking a deep breath, right, like we moms are always go, go, go, go go.
• 21:58
  Carrie: And, if we can just like, even right now, while we're talking, take a deep breath.
• 22:04
  Ann: I was just doing it.
• 22:06
  Carrie: Ah, and it I mean.
• 22:08
  Carrie: So I'm doing Qigong right, Like I do clinical Qigong for a living, and Qi can be defined as breath, Like the Qi is your life force, it's your vitality and it's your breath.
• 22:23
  Carrie: And in Chinese medicine they believe that the breath is what heals you.
• 22:28
  Carrie: The breath is what moves things and processes things and activates your energy.
• 22:34
  Carrie: So taking a deep breath is huge.
• 22:37
  Ann: Yeah, that's wonderful, I love that.
• 22:39
  Ann: I actually find myself forgetting to breathe a lot and during those moments, if, if my child's having like one of those reactions or sensory meltdowns, breathing is not on my list, but sometimes I have to step outside and have a breath, so I love that.
• 22:55
  Ann: Yeah, I think all of us have that right, even when you're driving the car, like it's just, it's just helpful.
• 23:02
  Ann: Um, I love when you're talking about your kids.
• 23:06
  Ann: I find so many pieces of my kids, so it's like looking into the future era and I wanted to check do you have any mindful tools or spiritual tools, or what does it look like in your family to help empower your kids?
• 23:24
  Carrie: Yeah, I mean.
• 23:25
  Carrie: One thing that I do is we have all of these experiences with energy practitioners.
• 23:31
  Carrie: So whenever somebody recommends an energy practitioner to me, and if it resonates, we just go see them and all of us will go see them, and then we all have an experience and we talk about it.
• 23:44
  Carrie: And so just talking about it and trying things is a great tool for learning and learning about our own body and how we feel.
• 23:53
  Carrie: And then we pick up like tips and tricks from every one of them.
• 23:57
  Carrie: Yeah, so one of my favorite is the vacuum cleaner rose, and it's a little short meditation where you're visualizing a rose in front of you and we just turn on the vacuum cleaner function and it starts to suck out other people's energy.
• 24:16
  Carrie: So it's sucking it out of your body, the front of your body, the back of your body, all around you in your field, and then you take that rose and throw it into the center of the universe and you watch it explode and that explosion of light and fire is just transforming the energy.
• 24:33
  Carrie: Maybe it goes back to whoever it came from or maybe it doesn't, but it feels so good to get other people's energy out of your space.
• 24:41
  Carrie: Yeah, so that's a huge one.
• 24:45
  Carrie: I was also telling you about one last week.
• 24:49
  Carrie: It's this electric blue light that can really help if you're sensitive.
• 24:54
  Carrie: So if your child has, like their knee hurts and is sensitive or their their head hurts and you can't like comb their hair, you can tell your child that they can get out their paintbrush and paint electric blue on wherever they're sensitive and then see if that just kind of takes it down a couple of notches.
• 25:16
  Carrie: You know, maybe they put on like a, a pretend version of like an electric blue hat, and then you comb their hair and like see if that feels better, because electric blue tends to be really soothing and calming.
• 25:32
  Carrie: So that's kind of a fun one.
• 25:35
  Ann: Yeah, I love that one and I will be the first to give a testimony that it totally works.
• 25:41
  Ann: We were in a rush on Saturday morning to go to a birthday party and my daughter was like no, I don't want to go, I don't want to put out shoes, I don't want to brush my hair.
• 25:50
  Ann: And I tried it and I had to Google what electric blue color is because I couldn't imagine it.
• 25:56
  Ann: I was trying to like, okay, it's this color.
• 25:58
  Ann: So I had her do the cap and the electric blue cap and then she allowed me to brush her hair and she wanted like, wanted like, not.
• 26:07
  Ann: She wanted like fancy braids.
• 26:09
  Ann: And there wasn't screaming of this is not loose, this is too tight.
• 26:13
  Ann: It was.
• 26:13
  Ann: It was wonderful.
• 26:14
  Ann: So I love it.
• 26:15
  Ann: That was amazing.
• 26:17
  Carrie: I love it.
• 26:18
  Carrie: Yeah, I think it also is like neon blue, or maybe like a bright white light with a little bit of blue mixed in.
• 26:26
  Ann: Yeah, yeah, cool yeah.
• 26:29
  Ann: And we also did electric blue socks too, cause socks are one.
• 26:32
  Ann: I mean.
• 26:33
  Ann: I've taken her to target, I'm like which socks feel the best and we felt all the socks, and even with the softest socks there's still moments.
• 26:40
  Ann: So I think just helping her visualize this other piece of something that can help her and pulls her a little bit out of her mind too, it helped her to get there and she was that's amazing?
• 26:54
  Carrie: Yeah, I love it.
• 26:54
  Carrie: Thank you that saved her.
• 26:56
  Ann: Saturday morning.
• 26:57
  Ann: And also, I need to do it more.
• 27:00
  Ann: It just reminded me, like I gotta, I should write it down and put it on my fridge.
• 27:04
  Ann: So I remember it in the morning, the more you use it, the more you will remember.
• 27:09
  Carrie: And the more she uses it, the more she will remember.
• 27:13
  Carrie: She'll just be empowered.
• 27:15
  Ann: That's true, that's true, yeah, yeah, I love that.
• 27:18
  Carrie: That's such a good one we use the grounding for it a lot.
• 27:22
  Carrie: So a lot of times we will imagine that we've put like a string around the waist and then just dropping down this tube into the earth and that's your grounding board, and then you can send whatever you want down the grounding board, anything that isn't serving you.
• 27:43
  Carrie: So, um, if you have like a big emotion and it doesn't feel good, send it down the grounding cord.
• 27:50
  Carrie: You can even send your virus.
• 27:54
  Carrie: Oh, I feel really sick right now.
• 27:56
  Carrie: Let's send the sickness down the grounding cord.
• 27:58
  Carrie: Send things down into the earth and the earth is ready to compost it.
• 28:03
  Carrie: The earth is like waiting for that energy to just transform it and make it nourishing again.
• 28:09
  Carrie: So we use the grounding cord also for going to sleep at night, connecting your body to the center of the earth, connecting your bed to the center of the earth, the room to the center of the earth, the house to the center of the earth, the whole property.
• 28:23
  Carrie: Sometimes we'll do the whole city block and it just feels really restful, relaxing, like you're being supported.
• 28:33
  Ann: I love that.
• 28:34
  Ann: I'm going to try that, for if we have any nighttime tears or anything, those do pop up in our house sometimes.
• 28:40
  Ann: So that was another.
• 28:42
  Ann: Is that one that you guys have tried for things like that or?
• 28:47
  Carrie: um, for night terrors.
• 28:48
  Carrie: Um, so definitely, if you go to sleep at night and you've already kind of done some of this clearing and grounding, I think you're less likely to get those night terrors.
• 28:59
  Carrie: Okay, um, yeah, the what I've heard and this is getting into more clairvoyant, intuitive type of work but I've pretty much been told that when people have night terrors it's because they are leaving their body.
• 29:15
  Carrie: They're kind of going into their astral body and doing this astral travel and like learning and having all these experiences.
• 29:24
  Carrie: So if you're not into all this intuitive, clairvoyant stuff, it's kind of like you're having a great dream and you're learning in your dream and you're trying out all these new things.
• 29:34
  Carrie: And then when the kid is trying to get back into their body, it's like their reentrance is blocked off by different beings and so the clairvoyant people say that, oh yeah, a being is in the way and your kid can't get back in their body.
• 29:50
  Carrie: And when I first heard that I thought it was crazy.
• 29:52
  Carrie: But when my kids have nightmares like their eyes are open but they are not there, Right, like it's not like a dream where you just wake them up their eyes are open, they can talk to you, but they don't really seem to be there and they're not connecting with you and they're still freaked out and so, energetically, it's just a matter of like okay, all beings go away.
• 30:16
  Carrie: You know you're not welcome here.
• 30:19
  Carrie: Okay, just the source, and you know, just kind of send them home.
• 30:25
  Ann: Interesting.
• 30:26
  Ann: All right, I will try that with those midnight tears Sometimes still come in with my little one.
• 30:34
  Carrie: You mentioned despair, as a mom does Like, when we are so like sleep deprived and we just want to get to sleep.
• 30:43
  Carrie: We will try anything, and so, even though some of these things sound crazy, like when we're in a state of despair, we just try everything, and having an open mind really brings all these tools in.
• 30:55
  Ann: Yeah, I love it.
• 30:56
  Ann: Sometimes it's not an official program that we're following, but I feel like it comes from your heart and you've been able to help your kids find this positive mindset when some of the things we're reading in school, some of the things we're seeing on the internet or, I guess, social media but I don't know if your kids are in social mine or not but some of those things can feel so heavy.
• 31:19
  Ann: So I feel like you've done a really good job at home of supporting your kids and having these open discussions at home that really help your kids to find the positive outlook.
• 31:30
  Carrie: Yeah, and I mean really that is kind of parenting 101 is we have to take the time to talk to our kids and take the time to listen to our kids.
• 31:43
  Carrie: So if you can have meals together as a family and everybody sits at the table until we're all done eating, and that was hard when the kids were little and now they want to talk about all these different topics I can't get a word in edgewise anymore.
• 32:00
  Carrie: So many things to talk about but the more we can really listen and give our attention but also guide, mostly guiding them to their heart, their true north, what feels like their gut instinct.
• 32:19
  Carrie: I was more of the mind originally when I first became a parent of the parents are always right.
• 32:27
  Carrie: You have to respect your parents.
• 32:29
  Carrie: You know, we know all the answers, and now it's morphing more into I don't want you to believe my heart center, I want you to believe your own.
• 32:40
  Carrie: I want you to you know, really sit with this, what do you think?
• 32:44
  Carrie: I want you to you know, really sit with this, what do you think?
• 32:48
  Carrie: So, when the kids come home and I have to say we've got a wonderful school system, but there are a lot of things that have been taught lately that I don't appreciate or go against my values, and they've been in a lot of different classes and a lot of different like levels in the school system and a lot of different like levels in the school system.
• 33:05
  Carrie: And if we can sit down and talk about it, then we're just reminding the kids to be open minded and that there are other ways to think about this.
• 33:15
  Carrie: And you know it can start with even health class and diet.
• 33:18
  Carrie: Like do you believe in dairy or are your kids sensitive to dairy?
• 33:24
  Carrie: And we're just drinking rice milk, right, and so they're learning in the food pyramid that you have to have dairy and it's super important for your teeth and your bones, and so that's really where it started was, when they were really little to be like okay, some people believe that and if you take a test, you need to make sure to say that you're getting dairy from milk, but in our house you're getting it from spinach and broccoli and you're getting it from your rice milk and you know just other things.
• 33:54
  Carrie: And then by the time they get into middle school, you can start having conversations about some of the more difficult topics and then in high school you know it gets even deeper.
• 34:05
  Carrie: I mean, they talk about everything at school from, like, energy usage to recycling to you know whether communism and socialism are better than capitalism, and they're doing a lot of conversation about sexuality in middle school and some of this stuff.
• 34:24
  Carrie: I'm like, oh, I don't want that for my children.
• 34:27
  Carrie: Yeah, but as long as you're having these conversations, it helps to give them some stability and some grounding and to feel supported.
• 34:38
  Carrie: And and we certainly have to give them space to develop their own beliefs, because if we tell them that they're wrong or get upset, then they won't come to us with these conversations anymore.
• 34:52
  Carrie: Yes, so it's this constant game and balance that we're playing of like how do I make sure that our relationship is number one, like more important than behaviors or what somebody said or did?
• 35:07
  Carrie: More important is we have a good relationship and can trust each other.
• 35:12
  Ann: Yes, I love that.
• 35:13
  Ann: Connecting heart to heart.
• 35:14
  Ann: That's what.
• 35:15
  Carrie: I like to hear.
• 35:18
  Ann: I'm glad we found our message that I was trying to get to with my questions, because I remember when you said this to me once a while back, it just really resonated with me.
• 35:28
  Ann: I was like, wow, that's what I want to do when my kids are a little older and we do it now, but that's where I want them to be when they're pre-teenagers and teenagers.
• 35:36
  Carrie: So I'm and you have to- start it now, because by the time they become teenagers you start to lose them.
• 35:43
  Carrie: Like they really start to step into their independence, independent thought.
• 35:48
  Carrie: They're hanging out with friends more.
• 35:50
  Carrie: They have so many different influences that really your hard work is in grade school.
• 35:56
  Carrie: Yeah, that's the time when you're making sure that they feel secure in the family, in conversations and in sharing their heart, because by the time they're in high school it's really too late.
• 36:09
  Ann: Yes, for sure.
• 36:10
  Ann: Yeah, we love implementing family dinner and trying to keep the six year wiggly wiggly girl over at the dinner table with us.
• 36:20
  Ann: But, yes, connecting it's amazing.
• 36:22
  Ann: Well, something that I've been thinking about that's really fun, that our families overlap in is and this is on a lighter note is Cub Scouts and Scouts.
• 36:32
  Ann: It's been so fun, it was so fun to touch base with you and then find out you guys were heavily into it as well.
• 36:40
  Ann: I love it, yeah.
• 36:42
  Carrie: You know, we accidentally got into scouts.
• 36:44
  Carrie: We are a camping family and my oldest didn't have any activities and it's a rule in our house you have to have one activity.
• 36:55
  Carrie: Oh, I like that.
• 36:56
  Carrie: I think he was in karate and wanted to quit and I said well, you can quit if you pick something else, cause I don't want them to always be in the room and be by themselves, like they need some kind of an outlet.
• 37:08
  Carrie: So we got into Cub Scouts and now all three of our kids are in the same Boy Scout troop, even my daughter, because they have accepted girls and it.
• 37:20
  Carrie: You know, the wonderful thing is that Scouts brings you into nature.
• 37:23
  Carrie: So, for for kids who are neurodivergent or really sensitive, spending time outside in nature is so healing for them.
• 37:34
  Carrie: They're breathing the fresh air, they're touching the grass, they're, you know, in the vibration of trees.
• 37:41
  Carrie: It's so healing.
• 37:43
  Carrie: And then there's also a lot of space to express yourself like.
• 37:48
  Carrie: So there are a lot of kids bouncing off the walls and you don't see the parents telling them stop doing that, no more, yeah, yeah, it's a safe place to express.
• 37:59
  Carrie: And then there are instant consequences.
• 38:01
  Carrie: So the logical consequences are always present.
• 38:05
  Carrie: If you you get wet, cold, you're going to get cold.
• 38:08
  Carrie: If you refuse to put on a sweatshirt, you're going to get cold.
• 38:12
  Carrie: You know they are constantly faced with okay, we're cooking pancakes and nobody knows how to cook them and they end up becoming like a pancake ball.
• 38:25
  Carrie: And the kids are hungry so they eat it.
• 38:29
  Carrie: So they're learning how to cook and they're learning how to use a knife properly.
• 38:33
  Carrie: And they have all this independence without mom, like standing over them.
• 38:38
  Carrie: Because you know, we as moms, we know what our kids are capable of and not capable of.
• 38:43
  Carrie: Yeah, but then, when they're asked to be independent, our kids surprise us and they can do so much more than we thought they could do.
• 38:51
  Ann: Yes, yeah, it's so, it's so wonderful.
• 38:54
  Ann: I love when we go out on the Cub Scout campouts because we're in the second grade era, so we're the tiny ones still, but we go out and we go overnight camping and the kids are all just running through the woods together and they're all together, They've got their whistles and we can hear them giggling and they're on adventures.
• 39:13
  Ann: Nobody has a phone now I don't think I touch my phone for the entire weekend while we're up there.
• 39:18
  Ann: It's just amazing Campfire songs and singing and it's.
• 39:22
  Ann: It's been really empowering for my son.
• 39:24
  Ann: I didn't think he would enjoy the uniforms because sometimes you know he likes nice fabrics and he always runs hot.
• 39:31
  Ann: But when he puts on his uniform he stands proud in the mirror.
• 39:35
  Ann: He loves to wear like, even like the neckerchief all the pieces.
• 39:39
  Ann: He's got his hat on.
• 39:41
  Ann: He's been wearing his little wolf hat Actually I don't remember if he goes on to the next den, but he wears it around.
• 39:46
  Ann: He's just so proud.
• 39:47
  Ann: So it's a huge, huge piece for us that running and giggling in the in the forest.
• 39:54
  Carrie: I mean, that just fills your heart, like that's what our kids need more of right, just nature and being grounded and being at the core of being a human.
• 40:05
  Ann: It's pretty awesome.
• 40:06
  Ann: So, and my son is also in the martial arts but he's kind of he's at the I don't know if we're at the end of it but it was really empowering for him.
• 40:15
  Ann: Every time he would get his next belt I could see him stand a little bit taller and prouder, and when they would tie that belt on, you could just see his empowerment face.
• 40:25
  Ann: It was.
• 40:25
  Ann: It was really great.
• 40:27
  Ann: So now he's kind of transitioning into maybe some hip hop.
• 40:30
  Ann: I don't know what our adventure is next, but it's.
• 40:34
  Ann: And also you told me the other day it's good to be a mom and know, listening to our kids, like, well, maybe this phase is over.
• 40:42
  Ann: I don't need to push him to be the black belt.
• 40:44
  Ann: I'm not gonna make him do something he's not wanting to do.
• 40:48
  Ann: If he's done, he's done.
• 40:49
  Ann: I have to respect that for him.
• 40:52
  Carrie: Oh, and that is such a hard thing for us as parents, because sometimes we find that we are more engaged in it than they are.
• 41:01
  Carrie: We have these expectations and these hopes of achievement and it almost is a letdown for us If we don't continue on the path.
• 41:10
  Carrie: I know that with my oldest I spent a lot of time second guessing and, oh, just try it one more month.
• 41:17
  Carrie: And now with my youngest, I say the goal here is for you to try everything, and if you don't want to do that anymore, we'll flip to something else and you can always go back later if you want to.
• 41:29
  Ann: Yes, and it gives me hope because I see, I see your kids and they're excelling in their thing, that they're very interested in and they're passionate about it and excited to tell me about the instrument that they're playing or such.
• 41:41
  Ann: So it makes me feel better, that they will find something someday.
• 41:45
  Ann: They're not going to flitter from one thing to the next and they'll find what they're passionate about.
• 41:50
  Carrie: I think the biggest thing there is to keep them engaged, because it can happen where our kids are only doing one thing and then that stops, and then they're just in their room on electronics, in their own little world, and they become disconnected with light.
• 42:08
  Carrie: And you know, I used to be really, really concerned about electronic usage in our house, but now, as time goes on, I'm more concerned.
• 42:18
  Carrie: Are you engaged in activities and would you rather be on a computer or out with friends?
• 42:24
  Carrie: Because as long as they still want to go play with friends and want to be outside and want to go to tennis lessons and want to go to scouts, as long as those things light them up, the computers are not going to overtake them.
• 42:38
  Carrie: If that makes sense, like keep them engaged in living, yeah, I love that so much and you're a web of knowledge.
• 42:46
  Ann: I love that so much and you're a a web of knowledge.
• 42:48
  Ann: I love so fun.
• 42:52
  Ann: Heart to heart again.
• 42:53
  Ann: So I wanted I was going to ask you for our listeners.
• 42:57
  Ann: Where can we find you?
• 43:00
  Carrie: Oh, yes, um, the best place to find me is online wwwliveyourlightcare.
• 43:08
  Carrie: So live your light is my, my work name, and it's all about helping people to find their light.
• 43:16
  Carrie: I mean, we all have this unique light within us, and it's a matter of like letting ourselves shine exactly as we are.
• 43:26
  Ann: So yeah, liveyourlightcare, I love your name that you created for your company.
• 43:31
  Ann: It's so powerful it's.
• 43:33
  Ann: I love it and I love you've done.
• 43:36
  Ann: You've done the energy work for me from afar, which is great.
• 43:40
  Ann: The distance energy work has been so power empowering for my kids and powerful for our family, so I would totally recommend that with you too.
• 43:48
  Ann: I wanted to put that on here and if anybody is listening, locally you have your Qigong classes, which I love going to, and there's a little community that has been built at these classes.
• 44:01
  Ann: Some days we have to bust open the walls.
• 44:03
  Ann: We've got so many people classes Some days we have to bust open the walls.
• 44:06
  Carrie: We've got so many people.
• 44:07
  Carrie: So it's Qigong, movement forms and it's a little bit like Tai Chi, except that we're not focused on you know, exact positioning.
• 44:16
  Carrie: We're more focused on getting out of our head like a moving meditation, and by the time we're done, I mean you can say how you feel, keri, but I'm breathing more deeply and more grounded and relaxed, and it just sets up a great day ahead.
• 44:32
  Ann: Yeah, I love it.
• 44:33
  Ann: I do it on Thursdays with you and I am ready to conquer the weekend Like I'm recharged and ready for a weekend at home with the kids, and it's been really empowering and it's a great self-care piece for myself.
• 44:45
  Ann: So, absolutely, thanks so much, anne the kids and it's been really empowering and it's a great self-care piece for myself.
• 44:47
  Ann: So, absolutely, thanks so much.
• 44:48
  Ann: And I appreciate all of your time and everything, all these gifts you've given us today well, thank you, it's been really fun if there's a parent that you think this could resonate with, please be sure to share it with them so we can all benefit from each other.
• 45:04
  Ann: Follow Heart to Heart Parents Podcast on Instagram for daily fun ideas and tips.
• 45:11
  Ann: Happy week.