Latest / The Inner Wealth Podcast / Ep144. Five Shameless Qualities That Wealthy, Successful, and Happy People Possess.

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Ep144. Five Shameless Qualities That Wealthy, Successful, and Happy People Possess. · The Inner Wealth Podcast

• 0:02
  Speaker 1: Do you ever wake up feeling like there's something missing in your life?
• 0:07
  Speaker 1: Do you ever feel the need to escape your business?
• 0:09
  Speaker 1: Are you running your life or is your life running you?
• 0:12
  Speaker 1: I'm Mike Kitko and I'll help you design and create a life so authentic and aligned with who you really are that you'll get excited just to wake up.
• 0:19
  Speaker 1: I'll help you create real wealth, success and freedom from the inside out.
• 0:23
  Speaker 1: Welcome to the Inner Wealth Podcast, where we learn and choose to live inspired each and every day.
• 0:35
  Speaker 1: There are some pretty basic things I learned growing up and going to Catholic school and there's some basic things that I learned that absolutely got in the way of me creating and my creating higher levels of wealth, success, freedom and really being happy and fulfilled in this life.
• 0:59
  Speaker 1: Now I want to make sure we get this clear this is not victim shit.
• 1:08
  Speaker 1: Like everybody who taught me these things was doing the very, very best they could.
• 1:13
  Speaker 1: They were passing on their belief system, even though their belief system was utterly and frankly broken.
• 1:23
  Speaker 1: System was utterly and frankly broken.
• 1:31
  Speaker 1: Now, from parents and teachers and pastors, when they taught these five elements to me, when they taught these five things, they didn't realize how much pain they were causing themselves by holding these beliefs.
• 1:46
  Speaker 1: They didn't understand how much pain and how much damage that they were doing to other people when they were teaching these concepts, when they were teaching these things.
• 1:55
  Speaker 1: But here's what I've learned is that rich people, super wealthy, super successful, super happy, super free people, they think differently, they believe differently, they act differently, they choose differently and there's just some qualities about them that are extra special.
• 2:23
  Speaker 1: And people that are not wealthy and not rich and not successful.
• 2:31
  Speaker 1: They might not understand that these things are getting in the way and will get in the way, but they're taught typically in our society, especially in the lower and middle classes, typically in our society, especially in the lower and middle classes.
• 2:44
  Speaker 1: Now I have created some wealth and I've created some success in my life and I do live free and I have time, freedom and I own my calendar and I own my business and my wife and I live a very good, awesome lifestyle.
• 3:03
  Speaker 1: We love our life.
• 3:04
  Speaker 1: So it took me a while to get there, but there are some things, like I said these things that I'm going to share today that I was taught.
• 3:13
  Speaker 1: They definitely got in the way of that and these things had to be cleared up and cleared out first.
• 3:20
  Speaker 1: But what I've titled this, what I'm titling this episode, is the top five things that the rich people do that the poor don't, or believe that the poor don't, or five things that rich people just completely accept and understand.
• 3:38
  Speaker 1: And I mean when I say rich, I'm talking about rich and healthy and wealthy and successful and happy and free, because I do know a lot of rich people that are miserable, but I'm talking about the ones that are wealthy, successful, happy, free, loving.
• 3:56
  Speaker 1: I'm talking about those.
• 3:57
  Speaker 1: These are five things, five attributes, five qualities of really rich people, really successful people, really happy people, really free people.
• 4:06
  Speaker 1: Now, these are five things that I was taught that those people that I just explained, rich and successful and happy and free, that they don't connect with and they have transcended or they just left behind and they have transcended or they just left behind.
• 4:28
  Speaker 1: Number one is have you ever been taught or were you ever told when you were a kid don't be selfish.
• 4:32
  Speaker 1: Listen, in order to become wealthy, you must be a little selfish.
• 4:38
  Speaker 1: You must be a little selfish, you must practice a healthy form of selfishness.
• 4:44
  Speaker 1: Now I did a podcast episode and I've talked about healthy selfishness on my podcast.
• 4:51
  Speaker 1: On this podcast a couple times.
• 4:54
  Speaker 1: Healthy selfishness is understanding that you deserve really, really nice stuff.
• 5:00
  Speaker 1: You deserve an awesome life.
• 5:01
  Speaker 1: You deserve to demonstrate and exercise your talents and to be reciprocated in a very powerful way that creates abundance, that creates prosperity in your life.
• 5:14
  Speaker 1: You deserve that.
• 5:16
  Speaker 1: We each do, and a selfish person understands this.
• 5:22
  Speaker 1: I deserve it.
• 5:23
  Speaker 1: I deserve to be wealthy, I deserve to have my health in check.
• 5:28
  Speaker 1: I deserve to be loved.
• 5:30
  Speaker 1: I deserve to be admired.
• 5:34
  Speaker 1: I deserve these things.
• 5:36
  Speaker 1: That is a form and a brand of healthy selfishness.
• 5:40
  Speaker 1: But here's the flip side.
• 5:42
  Speaker 1: So many people are taught not to be selfish, like being selfish and being generous can't coexist in the same space.
• 5:50
  Speaker 1: And when I work with and I'm around really wealthy, really successful, really happy, really free individuals, they are the most generous people I have ever met in my life individuals they are the most generous people I have ever met in my life.
• 6:08
  Speaker 1: Not only will they tell you that they are a little selfish, they will also demonstrate generosity above and beyond the average and the typical.
• 6:13
  Speaker 1: Listen, in a lot of cases, people that are struggling financially, people that are struggling to create success, people that are struggling materially in this world they're struggling partially because they're trying not to look or feel or express any sense of selfishness, and healthy selfishness is required in order to move the needle significantly in your life on all of the areas.
• 6:41
  Speaker 1: You are the most significant person in the world.
• 6:46
  Speaker 1: It's okay to be a little selfish.
• 6:50
  Speaker 1: Number two have you ever heard someone say maybe you were taught this, but maybe somebody else said don't be so fully yourself.
• 6:58
  Speaker 1: Well, this is absolutely an idiotic statement.
• 7:04
  Speaker 1: First of all, let's think about it logically.
• 7:07
  Speaker 1: If you're not supposed to be full of yourself, who are you supposed to be full of?
• 7:11
  Speaker 1: We can only be full of ourselves.
• 7:14
  Speaker 1: We can't be full of anyone else.
• 7:15
  Speaker 1: So from a logical perspective, that statement just doesn't even make sense.
• 7:21
  Speaker 1: Don't be full of yourself, but here's what don't be full of yourself really means Don't believe in yourself, don't express your belief in yourself, don't express your confidence, don't express your true essence, don't express your full.
• 7:41
  Speaker 1: The thoughts and the feelings that you have in the world, the beliefs that you hold, don't show up.
• 7:47
  Speaker 1: Don't be full of yourself.
• 7:49
  Speaker 1: Hide, Shrink, that's what don't be full of yourself means.
• 7:52
  Speaker 1: It means play, pretend and play small and shrink just like the rest of us.
• 7:58
  Speaker 1: Don't be full of yourself is really just another way of saying hide like everybody else, fit in like everybody else, be ashamed of yourself.
• 8:11
  Speaker 1: Just like everybody else, don't express yourself, don't really show up, don't really tell your truth, don't have confidence in yourself.
• 8:19
  Speaker 1: And if you do, then you're full of yourself.
• 8:23
  Speaker 1: But really what it is is the other people are just empty of themselves.
• 8:28
  Speaker 1: There's only one person you can be full of and that is yourself and expressing yourself, expressing your truth, expressing who you are, holding yourself in high regard, expressing from that level of high regard, expressing yourself with confidence, with clarity, with, with courageousness, being committed to who you are, being authentic, just really shining your light and being okay.
• 9:00
  Speaker 1: Being yourself and being okay, expressing who you is is a it, it builds.
• 9:06
  Speaker 1: It builds authenticity, it shines your light and it helps people see you in a world where everybody, most people, are trying not to be seen and the people that are trying to hide don't like when people show up and shine, because it makes them feel empty and that's why they'll tell you don't be full of yourself.
• 9:28
  Speaker 1: How about this?
• 9:31
  Speaker 1: Right now, in our mastermind, we're reading a book called no More Mr Nice Guy.
• 9:35
  Speaker 1: It's a fantastic book and in no More Mr Nice Guy, one quality and trait, and the gals in the mastermind have called it like no More, miss Good Girl.
• 9:46
  Speaker 1: So the same things apply to a nice guy as to a good girl.
• 9:53
  Speaker 1: And this is not about being an asshole.
• 9:55
  Speaker 1: This is about there's a difference between being nice and being kind and shrinking yourself is being nice, where kindness is demonstrating who you are, being yourself, being authentic and being shameless about who you really are and nice guys.
• 10:13
  Speaker 1: A tendency of a nice guy or a good girl is to pretend that they don't have any wants.
• 10:18
  Speaker 1: Pretend that they don't have any needs.
• 10:21
  Speaker 1: Stop being so needy, stop asking for so much, stop wanting so much.
• 10:26
  Speaker 1: You want too much.
• 10:28
  Speaker 1: You're greedy.
• 10:29
  Speaker 1: Have you ever been taught by somebody who didn't have a lot not to want a lot?
• 10:37
  Speaker 1: Because I tell you what there's no really wealthy, no really rich person that'll tell you to stop wanting a lot.
• 10:48
  Speaker 1: In T Harv Ecker's book Secrets of the Millionaire Mind, he says listen, rich people send a really clear signal to the universe that they want to be rich, and poor people send mixed messages.
• 11:02
  Speaker 1: That's what pretending you don't have wants and needs does.
• 11:08
  Speaker 1: It sends mixed messages to the universe and life will deliver to the messages that you send it.
• 11:13
  Speaker 1: And if you're sending messages to life that you don't have any wants or needs, then you're going to struggle materially, you're going to struggle in your life and you're not going to have the resources required to live a materially rich, materially free life.
• 11:29
  Speaker 1: I remember going back to Catholic school, going back to religious school, where it was almost taught that having wants and having needs was a form of shame and you should be ashamed of yourself for wanting something that it was greedy to even want, that you should always be satisfied with what you have.
• 11:51
  Speaker 1: There is no really really rich person that will ever tell you to want less, and that's why rich people are rich.
• 12:01
  Speaker 1: And that's why poor people stay poor is because they're walking around trying to pretend that they don't have any wants and needs.
• 12:11
  Speaker 1: Number four is how about this one?
• 12:13
  Speaker 1: Don't brag about yourself.
• 12:15
  Speaker 1: Well, listen, I lived through this one for a long time.
• 12:19
  Speaker 1: Don't talk good about yourself.
• 12:26
  Speaker 1: Don't tell people your wins.
• 12:28
  Speaker 1: There's a source of shame in winning and sharing your wins.
• 12:33
  Speaker 1: Don't talk about what you're good at.
• 12:36
  Speaker 1: Don't talk about your successes.
• 12:38
  Speaker 1: Don't talk because you'll make other people feel bad.
• 12:45
  Speaker 1: Have you considered that?
• 12:46
  Speaker 1: Have you considered that when we talk about bragging, what we're really talking about is don't share your wins, because it'll make those people who aren't winning feel less than you, less than adequate.
• 12:59
  Speaker 1: Don't brag, don't tell good stories about yourself.
• 13:03
  Speaker 1: And here's what it does.
• 13:05
  Speaker 1: Here's what that does for you.
• 13:06
  Speaker 1: Then you go to a job interview and you struggle to tell good things about yourself when you're trying to figure out your zone of genius.
• 13:15
  Speaker 1: You can't figure out what you're good at because you're not allowed to talk about it, you're not allowed to recognize it.
• 13:21
  Speaker 1: When you're trying to lift other people up, you've got to hide that you're winning so that they don't feel bad.
• 13:27
  Speaker 1: It's almost like self-deprecation is is the way, is the path forward, because so many times I remember so many times being told to stop talking so much good about me or what I was doing correct in this world, or where I was winning, where I was achieving, it's almost like the achievement was good, but the talking about the achievement was poison.
• 13:55
  Speaker 1: When you look at social media and there is a sense of look at me on social media, where it looks like everybody's all winning all the time Well, I tell you what, if you were to watch my social media account, especially my Facebook account I talk about my wins and my challenges.
• 14:15
  Speaker 1: I talk about what's going well and what's not going well.
• 14:19
  Speaker 1: I talk about where I'm winning and where I'm being challenged.
• 14:23
  Speaker 1: I talk about what I'm struggling with and I talk about what I'm starting to figure out.
• 14:27
  Speaker 1: When I have a speaking engagement, I show the speaking engagement when I feel like there's a missed opportunity even though there are no such things as missed opportunity I'll share that, I'll express that.
• 14:41
  Speaker 1: But so often we were taught, especially during our formative years, to only talk about the negative parts of you and your life and your experiences.
• 14:52
  Speaker 1: And you know what, when I was starting to build this business and I'm literally just starting to break out of this when I was starting to build this business, I was afraid to talk about the wins inside of my business.
• 15:08
  Speaker 1: I was afraid to talk about my client wins.
• 15:10
  Speaker 1: I was afraid to talk about what was working with my clients.
• 15:12
  Speaker 1: I was afraid to talk about my client wins.
• 15:13
  Speaker 1: I was afraid to talk about what was working with my clients.
• 15:14
  Speaker 1: I was afraid to talk about the good stuff that was happening, and that was because of this program and this conditioning that said don't brag about yourself.
• 15:25
  Speaker 1: Well, you know what Testimonials sell and lately I've been getting on video with some of my clients and just interviewing them about the wins that they're having in their life because of the work that they're doing with InterWealth Global and the InterWealth Mastermind.
• 15:41
  Speaker 1: Because people buy testimonials, they buy based on somebody else's experience.
• 15:48
  Speaker 1: So if you're not willing to brag about yourself, then you're keeping yourself in a state of struggle that's unnecessary.
• 15:54
  Speaker 1: And as business owners, we've got to be willing to brag about ourselves.
• 15:58
  Speaker 1: But most of this world is being conditioned, or has been conditioned, to not brag about yourself, in fact, to be self-deprecating and hide, just like everybody else.
• 16:09
  Speaker 1: And I hope you see a theme Hide.
• 16:13
  Speaker 1: Hide is a theme of those top four.
• 16:15
  Speaker 1: And listen, here's my favorite.
• 16:19
  Speaker 1: Here's number five is my favorite, the one that I've worked on more than any of the others.
• 16:25
  Speaker 1: Number five is don't love yourself.
• 16:29
  Speaker 1: Almost like having anything kind or loving to say about yourself, feeling good things about yourself.
• 16:39
  Speaker 1: There's something wrong with that.
• 16:40
  Speaker 1: There's humility.
• 16:43
  Speaker 1: It's labeled as humility.
• 16:45
  Speaker 1: To not love yourself, to reject yourself, to accept, embrace, to love yourself, to think kindly about yourself, to think anything admirable about yourself, to think of yourself with a level of healthy self-respect, like that's real humility.
• 17:04
  Speaker 1: No, that's not humility, it's rejection, it's self-rejection, it's fucking painful, and loving yourself is the greatest thing that you could ever do in this lifetime.
• 17:21
  Speaker 1: And recently I've released a blog Go to the website, interwealthglobalcom.
• 17:25
  Speaker 1: Go to my blog site and I also did a podcast episode not too long ago about the seven vital resources to live a rich life, and the number one resource was self-love and authenticity, because you can't truly be authentic if you lack self-love, and self-love is the greatest resource because that resource unlocks every other resource that you need in this lifetime.
• 17:51
  Speaker 1: Self-love is a gift, but you know what?
• 17:58
  Speaker 1: I didn't live a childhood rich in people telling me to love myself.
• 18:01
  Speaker 1: I was taught in some religious education that thinking too much of myself would get me sent to the fiery pits of hell.
• 18:13
  Speaker 1: I was taught that I was a broken human being, that there was something wrong with me.
• 18:22
  Speaker 1: There was nothing wrong with me, except people kept telling me there was something wrong with me.
• 18:27
  Speaker 1: You walk too fast, you talk too fast, you talk too much, you talk too loud.
• 18:32
  Speaker 1: These were my greatest gifts, but people who hated themselves were trying to teach me to hate myself and try to get me to be different.
• 18:41
  Speaker 1: Where is this showing up for you?
• 18:44
  Speaker 1: That somebody constantly taught you that there was something and reinforced that there was something inherently wrong with you, that you were a shameful being, that you were a fucking sinner from birth.
• 18:54
  Speaker 1: This is bullshit.
• 18:57
  Speaker 1: It's garbage and it'll eat you alive.
• 19:03
  Speaker 1: And it's pretty common at speaking engagements for me to stand up in front of the audience and say you want to see what self-love is.
• 19:10
  Speaker 1: I love me, some me.
• 19:14
  Speaker 1: And then, when I express that, you might wonder why that's notable.
• 19:20
  Speaker 1: Back in 2016, in March and April of 2016, when I started this journey, when I looked in the mirror and tried to say I love you, I couldn't even spit out the words and there was just tears flowing out of my mouth, out of my eyes, into my mouth, and I couldn't even say the words I love you to myself.
• 19:43
  Speaker 1: And that's because of the indoctrination that there's something wrong with you, something wrong with human beings, that there's something flawed, that there's something defective.
• 19:55
  Speaker 1: And there's nothing wrong with you.
• 19:57
  Speaker 1: And it is okay to love your strengths.
• 20:00
  Speaker 1: It's okay to love your weaknesses.
• 20:02
  Speaker 1: It's okay to love your wins.
• 20:03
  Speaker 1: It's okay to love your challenges.
• 20:05
  Speaker 1: It's okay to love the fact that you didn't have things figured out.
• 20:08
  Speaker 1: It's okay to love that you struggled from time to time.
• 20:11
  Speaker 1: It's okay to accept and love that you are struggling right now.
• 20:16
  Speaker 1: It's okay to fall head over heels, absolutely, 100% in absolute, blissful, unconditional love with yourself.
• 20:27
  Speaker 1: Absolute, blissful, unconditional love with yourself.
• 20:30
  Speaker 1: And you know what the really really wealthy, the really really successful, the really really happy, the really really free people that I know they love themselves infinitely because it is the number one resource.
• 20:46
  Speaker 1: Listen, if you're anything like me, as you were growing up, you were taught a lot of painful shit and now we start the process, if you haven't started already.
• 20:58
  Speaker 1: Like accelerate the process of unraveling and untangling and dropping the stories and the beliefs that you can't be selfish, that you shouldn't be full of yourself, that you can't want too much or you can't need too much, that you've got to be, that real humility is self-rejection, that you can't brag about yourself and you can't talk about your wins and you can't talk about what you've got figured out and that you don't, you can't love yourself.
• 21:30
  Speaker 1: Rich people don't believe those things.
• 21:33
  Speaker 1: Really, really wealthy and successful and happy people they don't believe those things.
• 21:37
  Speaker 1: They believe the exact opposite.
• 21:41
  Speaker 1: And I'm inviting you into that place with me because I'm learning these things as I go along and as I learn them.
• 21:47
  Speaker 1: I teach them.
• 21:48
  Speaker 1: The only way to get over the hump of mediocrity in this lifetime is to start being radically authentic, to start being unashamed of who you are and to unconditionally fall head over heels in love with yourself and your talents and your gifts.
• 22:10
  Speaker 1: Give them away and be selfish in asking for something in return.
• 22:13
  Speaker 1: Anything else is just going to lead to a mediocre life, a life of compromise and a life of just getting by.
• 22:22
  Speaker 1: You deserve so much more than that.
• 22:24
  Speaker 1: You deserve so much more than that.
• 22:28
  Speaker 1: If you enjoyed what you heard and you want to learn more, go to wwwinnerwealthglobalcom for more tools and resources.