Latest / Start Your Comeback: Rebuilding after Divorce, Empty Nest, and Loss of Spouse / Embracing New Freedoms: Turning Life Transitions into Your Greatest Adventure

Transcript

Embracing New Freedoms: Turning Life Transitions into Your Greatest Adventure · Start Your Comeback: Rebuilding after Divorce, Empty Nest, and Loss of Spouse

• 0:00
  Speaker 1: Is there a major life transition benching you?
• 0:02
  Speaker 1: I know you may be asking what's next?
• 0:06
  Speaker 1: What's my purpose?
• 0:07
  Speaker 1: What if?
• 0:08
  Speaker 1: Because I've asked those too.
• 0:12
  Speaker 1: Welcome to the Start your Comeback Podcast.
• 0:14
  Speaker 1: I'm Toni Thrash, a certified life coach, and I want to share the tools and practical steps to help you create a winning game plan to move into your new adventure.
• 0:25
  Speaker 1: Hi, welcome back.
• 0:59
  Speaker 1: You're listening to episode 39.
• 1:02
  Speaker 1: It's the 4th of July.
• 1:04
  Speaker 1: What are your plans for the day?
• 1:06
  Speaker 1: I'm going to be spending time with my family and celebrating with fireworks and a cookout.
• 1:12
  Speaker 1: This is a day to always remember the freedom that we have as Americans.
• 1:16
  Speaker 1: I'm so grateful for those who have served our country.
• 1:19
  Speaker 1: Today I wanted to talk about a newfound freedom, freedom that you may not even recognize.
• 1:26
  Speaker 1: There's freedom when you are on the other side of a transition such as divorce, empty nester, retirement or a job change.
• 1:34
  Speaker 1: You've been treading water in the deep end for so long that you don't even recognize when you have treaded water over to the shallow end.
• 1:42
  Speaker 1: Your feet have found their footing, but you still don't recognize that this freedom has presented itself to you.
• 1:49
  Speaker 1: In this moment, you don't even comprehend its significance.
• 1:53
  Speaker 1: But once you realize you have this freedom, you may have two different thoughts.
• 1:59
  Speaker 1: One you have a ton of fear and don't know what is next or how you will survive or what to do.
• 2:06
  Speaker 1: Number two you will just sit back and recognize it and then make a game plan on how to move forward with it.
• 2:12
  Speaker 1: How you respond to this change can make all the difference.
• 2:18
  Speaker 1: Freedom is a value we are taught to cherish, but what we don't always remember is that freedom is something that we fight for and we often fight to keep.
• 2:29
  Speaker 1: You've been fighting for so long now.
• 2:33
  Speaker 1: Freedom involves the struggle, which can be painful and can last longer than any one of us had hoped for, but the results of that struggle can produce a future that is more powerful than we have ever imagined.
• 2:48
  Speaker 1: One of the biggest areas of freedom is this you get to decide if and how you show up.
• 2:55
  Speaker 1: Sometimes we can't show up or, more honestly, we're.
• 3:00
  Speaker 1: We just don't.
• 3:01
  Speaker 1: But we cannot stay in this place forever because it's not healthy.
• 3:06
  Speaker 1: Eventually, you do have to reclaim and reenter your world.
• 3:11
  Speaker 1: You could be in the shock stage and cannot see this freedom because of the blur happening right now.
• 3:18
  Speaker 1: If you're in limbo, you're still trying to find answers and make a game plan, and the last thing you recognize is that you are inching toward freedom.
• 3:29
  Speaker 1: But as we work together to build your game plan, we can see what you want your life to look like in the next two or five years, maybe even 10 years if you want to go that far.
• 3:42
  Speaker 1: Okay, so now there are two sides of any transition.
• 3:45
  Speaker 1: See, there's number one.
• 3:47
  Speaker 1: There's the business side, like maybe it's filing the decree, waiting for the settlement to come in, or if you're looking for a new job, that's the business side.
• 3:57
  Speaker 1: You're putting out your resume, you're looking for jobs.
• 4:00
  Speaker 1: If you're in the empty nest stage, you're trying to discover what to do next, etc.
• 4:06
  Speaker 1: You understand this process, but this requires you to follow up and be on task with all that is required.
• 4:13
  Speaker 1: And then there's the emotional side to it as well.
• 4:16
  Speaker 1: This is where you get to decide how you show up.
• 4:19
  Speaker 1: And let me say for another 1,000th time therapy will help you navigate your emotions, feelings and passions, and then a life coach will help you take those passions and form a game plan to get you off that bench.
• 4:36
  Speaker 1: Sometimes freedom sounds like quiet home alone on a Friday night by yourself.
• 4:41
  Speaker 1: Sometimes it's loud and boastful and includes the decision to go out at 9 30 on a Friday night with your friends.
• 4:48
  Speaker 1: It takes some of us a period of time to understand this freedom and then we always ask the question like what does this look like?
• 4:57
  Speaker 1: What's next Now?
• 4:59
  Speaker 1: If you have kids and you're going through the divorce transition, then you have a unique schedule.
• 5:05
  Speaker 1: Most likely there's a schedule when you have the kids and then there's a schedule when you don't have the kids.
• 5:11
  Speaker 1: If you've changed jobs, then freedom might look like not having a toxic boss or coworker.
• 5:17
  Speaker 1: There is significant freedom that comes along with this, and then wow, if you're retired, then that freedom is significant.
• 5:27
  Speaker 1: Let me give you a word of caution here Don't abuse the newfound freedom.
• 5:31
  Speaker 1: It can lead to disasters.
• 5:34
  Speaker 1: Test it out.
• 5:35
  Speaker 1: Understand this is your new normal and it might just be fun.
• 5:40
  Speaker 1: I remember saying to myself I can do whatever I want whenever I want, because I was divorced and an empty nester all at the same time.
• 5:49
  Speaker 1: It was freeing, but at the same time, I like to feel safe and secure, so I was pretty tame and calm.
• 5:57
  Speaker 1: It's so important to meet with a life coach and let them help you with a game plan that's unique to you.
• 6:03
  Speaker 1: No one I've ever coached has had the same game plan.
• 6:06
  Speaker 1: It's not cookie cutter.
• 6:08
  Speaker 1: It's for you.
• 6:11
  Speaker 1: Sure, you may be walking through divorce as any other client, but I assure you the details are not the same.
• 6:17
  Speaker 1: There will be moments you will feel handcuffed to a schedule you cannot change, but it takes time management to make sure that you get your time and your calendar to work for you, not the other way around.
• 6:30
  Speaker 1: You can always view the glass half empty, which will lend you to always seeing the negative.
• 6:36
  Speaker 1: It may take some time, but you can change your perspective to now see the glass is half full and the opportunity of freedom that is at your front door.
• 6:45
  Speaker 1: This is how I can help you.
• 6:48
  Speaker 1: There are still times, 10 years later, that I say to myself hey, you have the freedom to choose.
• 6:55
  Speaker 1: Whatever I decide is freedom for me.
• 6:58
  Speaker 1: I don't typically care what others think about the decisions that are mine to make.
• 7:03
  Speaker 1: Now, on the sidebar, on the big decisions of life, I still go to my accountability group for all of the big decisions.
• 7:10
  Speaker 1: Question Do you recognize the freedom you have or are you locked into seeing all the bad things?
• 7:18
  Speaker 1: There's an element of freedom to every transition.
• 7:21
  Speaker 1: You just may need help finding it and living in it.
• 7:25
  Speaker 1: Schedule a discovery call using the link in the show notes.
• 7:29
  Speaker 1: 15 minutes is worth it to discover the freedom you've been looking for.
• 7:34
  Speaker 1: Join me next week as I discuss divorce specifically related to those who don't have kids but maybe wish they did, and how to find community being single.
• 7:45
  Speaker 1: You won't want to miss it.
• 7:47
  Speaker 1: Thanks for being here.
• 7:49
  Speaker 1: I'll see you next time.
• 7:50
  Speaker 1: Hey, thanks for listening.
• 7:52
  Speaker 1: I don't take it for granted that you're here.
• 7:54
  Speaker 1: You didn't listen by mistake.
• 7:56
  Speaker 1: If you want to reach out, you can DM me on Instagram at Tony Thrash Until next week.
• 8:03
  Speaker 1: Remember, there's still time left on the clock.
• 8:06
  Speaker 1: Let's get you off the bench to start your comeback.
• 8:09
  Speaker 1: I want to give a special shout out to Country Club for the original music.
• 8:14
  Speaker 1: You can find them on Instagram at Country Club.
• 8:17
  Speaker 1: Thank you.