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The Pressure to Be Everything to Everyone · Grounded Growth

• Steph Mic: Hi, welcome. I'm Stephanie Petrie. I'm Nicole Girardi. And today we are talking on the Grounded Growth podcast about pressure and the pressure to be everything to everyone, which I know nothing about. And so just some things we're going to cover today are just invisible pressures, where pressure comes from, the cost of being everything, and then also choosing Nicole Mic: and hold your R.E.D. and that's where it takes everything. And so... Steph Mic: what we're actually called to do. we're going to talk first about invisible pressures. honestly, I think that many women are walking around carrying the expectations of themselves ⁓ are never really spoken, ⁓ but we feel are so real. like, I'm just talking about like those invisible pressures that we put on ourselves, those expectations we put on ourselves. ⁓ And it's kind of like quiet pressure, but boy, does it add up over time, like pressure cooker. ⁓ Nicole Mic: in every payment and then also choosing what we're actually called to do. So we're gonna talk first about individual preference. So honestly, think that many of us are working in a period of expectations of ourselves that never really spoken, that we feel are so unreal. So like, I'm assuming that those individual pressures that we feel are so extra intense and we put on ourselves. And it like we get pressure a bit. Steph Mic: ⁓ And it follows us throughout our day. And it's like this internal voice of, you know, we should be doing more or we should be doing better or even, you know, like, we're going to drop the ball because we're not good enough. so these are lies that we really need to ⁓ catch before we start believing them. ⁓ And hard part is, is that ⁓ it's not always coming from other people, but sometimes we think it is. ⁓ And it's a lot of times coming from within us and it comes from learning that we need to others needs We often feel like we need to fill the gaps and show up before we're even asked ⁓ And over time that becomes the expectation that we start placing on ourselves ⁓ And that's that's not our role. I mean like I kind feel like I need to say those again like anticipate needs of others still need to anticipate the needs of yourself ⁓ the gaps. Well, what are the gaps that you need filled too ⁓ Also showing up before being asked is of course being compassionate But it's also sometimes not our responsibility to do that ⁓ And so those are just some things about like just the emotional weight that these pressures can cause ⁓ Because it's not always about tasks. It's also about people in relationships that we care deeply about and we want to show up well. So it's not that that's bad. It's just that when we're trying to meet every need around us, we slowly start to lose sight of our own limits and and even our own needs. ⁓ I just think that this is something that we can definitely all relate to and ⁓ at some seasons probably more than others. Nicole Ghirardi: Hi, welcome to Grounded Growth Podcast. I'm Nicole Girardi. And I'm Stephanie Petry. We believe that grounded growth comes from being intentional about compassionate connections that are beautifully balanced while flourishing in faithfulness. Each week we will share real conversations, encouragement, and simple systems to help build a life that feels steady, aligned, and grounded. So sit back, maybe grab a coffee, and join us where clarity meets calm and growth feels intentional. Stephanie Petry: And I'm Stephanie Petry. We believe that grounded growth comes from being intentional about compassionate connections that are beautifully balanced while flourishing in faithfulness. Each week we will share real conversations, encouragement, and simple systems to help build a life that feels steady, aligned, and grounded. So sit back, maybe grab a coffee, and join us where clarity meets calm and growth feels intentional. Before we dive in, if you want to make sure you never miss a conversation, hit that subscribe or follow button. Nicole Mic: I just think that it's a problem that we definitely need to deal with. I have some things that I would like to work I absolutely agree with you. And I think that this invisible pressure, like you said, I mean, we create it because nobody has these expectations. I mean, we provide the pressure to be all of the things. We want to show up. Nicole Ghirardi: Before we dive in, if you want to make sure you never miss a conversation, hit that subscribe or follow button right now on whatever app you're listening on. Stephanie Petry: right now on whatever app you're listening on. Nicole Mic: fully in every role at the same time, causing us to have so much pressure and complete burnout immediately because we're so overwhelmed. mean, look at us. I mean, you're a teacher. You're a business owner. Isn't it crazy to say that still? And yes, yes. And you're a mom. You're a teacher. You're all of the things. And Steph Mic: You're a business owner. Isn't it crazy to say that still? It is, but I'm learning to be more confident in it. And you are a mom, you're a sister, you're all of the things and then... Nicole Mic: Then on top of it, we have to find time for ourselves. And it's just fine. I feel like we just kind of slowly slip away one area and then it completely drags us down because we're failing somewhere. So then we think we're a complete failure. And that's just not what we're supposed to be doing. And feeling responsible for keeping up with it all is ridiculous. I mean, it's a responsibility that, A, God did not give us. God carries out all of this for us. Nicole Ghirardi: you for joining us for another episode of Grounded Growth. We hope today brought you clarity, encouragement, and a gentle reminder that you're not walking this journey alone. If this episode spoke to you, we'd love for you to share it, subscribe, and leave a review. We'll see you next week. Until then, Stephanie Petry: Thank you joining us for another episode of Grounded Growth. ⁓ We hope brought you clarity, encouragement, and a gentle reminder that you're not walking this journey alone. If this episode spoke to you, we'd love for you to share it, subscribe, and leave a review. We'll see you next week. Until then, Nicole Mic: and that you don't need to be doing all the things at once. And the mental load of all of that is just so much more than the actual physical load, and that we carry the chaos here, which then goes on to our paper of our 600, like, to-do list, and it's just crazy. And I think a lot of it also is, is, I mean, we're high-compact women, in my opinion. Like, we can deal normally with a lot of things. Nicole Ghirardi: stay grounded and keep growing. Stephanie Petry: stay grounded keep growing. Nicole Mic: But we, well, you're better at this than me, but we often volunteer ourselves first to things. And so, you know, it's being able to say when somebody needs help, we immediately want to jump on it and we want to be able to help. And we step into those roles automatically versus, like you do, you wait to be asked after everyone else has already been asked and then being able to. You're so good with the boundary of that. Like, kudos to you, friend, because... I'm still working on it. Steph Mic: We step into those roles automatically versus like you do, you wait to be asked after everyone else has already been asked and then being able to. You're so good with the boundary of that. Kudos to you, Brian, because I'm still working. Well, thanks. But it did come from trial and error and over committing myself time and time again and then beating myself up on why did I say yes to this. And so it takes practice for sure. And I'm not perfect at it by any means. Nicole Mic: Thanks. Steph Mic: like certain people take priority. And I think that's a big thing too, is knowing who those people are in your life that are going to be, again, in a way, non-negotiables. 100%. And I just, think a lot of it is the internal expectations that we have that are so much higher than any Nicole Mic: that are typically, again, too big. Mm-hmm. 100%. And I just think a lot of it is the internal expectations that we have that are so much higher than anything externally. I mean, it's ridiculous how we hold ourselves to such a high level where we need to be normal. We need to be able to breathe. And we are just so high capacity. And it's exhausting. I mean, emotional exhaustion is more than sometimes when we're physically exhausted. I mean, we just talked about this before our podcast is that our mental capacity is just such a heavy sometimes that we have to be able to slow down and realize, OK, Stephanie's not putting the pressure on me. I'm putting the pressure on myself to do all of the things when all I need to do is ask Steph. Like, today, I had to go pick up the kids, and I forgot the snack. And then I immediately met Texter, and I was like, It's stuff for it kind of gave me health pains because I never asked for help. But like, hey, can you bring the kids to snack at church because we are stuck in traffic and know, we ain't able to do that. You know, we don't ask for help lunch. So being able to accept that and being able to say, I know I can't do all of the things and that is why I have the community around me to be able to do it. So thank you, friends. Steph Mic: Also, shout out to Nicole because she brought us ice cream sundaes for dinner this week. Nicole Mic: ⁓ my gosh, can I just tell you that James thought that was the most hilarious thing that you asked for? I said, hey, I'm bringing dinner to the Petri's. And he was like, ⁓ what are you getting? And I said, ⁓ I'm getting ice cream and chocolate syrup and caramel. He's like, what are you doing? And I said, we went Sundays for dinner. And I said, we're fun family because we don't do that. Steph Mic: I also had another ice cream sundae after my nap today. Nicole Mic: Ooh, yummy. I was about to say JoJo ended up after dance Monday night. We had to go get ice cream for our house so that way she could have Sundays after dinner. So once we start noticing pressure, the next question becomes, where does this actually come from? Because most of us didn't wake up one day and decide to carry everything. And usually it develops slowly through all of our expectations and it builds up. and with our personalities, it's our experiences. So let's talk about some of the roots of why we feel this way. Steph Mic: So I think that a lot of us, it starts with people pleasing ⁓ and wanting to be seen as dependable and helpful and good. ⁓ And so over time, it can start tying our identity to that. ⁓ I'm the one people can count on, and I'm the one who shows up. ⁓ And there's also this subtle belief that our worth is connected to how much we produce or how available we are. And so those are just very slippery slopes and I would say that one more that tends to come up is ⁓ we're really being honest, there's often a fear underneath it all ⁓ what happens if I say no Well, I let someone down. Well, I disappoint them. Will they see me differently? ⁓ instead of slowing down we just keep adding more and we call it responsibility when really it's pressure ⁓ Nicole Mic: Okay. ⁓ I 100 % agree. And I think that sometimes us being capable can become a trap. And that the more capable we are, the more it gets put on our plate. And when we don't say no, just kind of, overall, just kind of starts building up. And that people trust us because we've proven time and time again that we always come in and we save the day not realizing all of the things that are happening. And our strength becomes expected instead of appreciated, I think. a lot of it. you know, tying that work to output or availability is just, you know, it's hard because feeling productive should equal feeling valuable. And it's those life takers that we see and that's where all the pressure builds up instead of being able to be a life giving community where we're surrounding our sisters or, you know, our work or whatever the case may be. And that is also where that achievement-driven mindset comes into play, that hustling that I like to say for the success of it all. And it's gotten really uncomfortable for me, where you can't rest and yet you are constantly on the go saying yes and yes, yes, yes to everything. And I think that ⁓ my biggest thing is the fear of letting go and that people won't approve me because I'm not doing all the things anymore. And that was the hardest thing for me when I had to step back off of the Chamber of Commerce for Hillsboro is that I was the president and, you know, everyone counted on me to be able to volunteer for everything and do all of the things. And I realized that I was like, I have to step back. I have to work on my marriage. I need to be here for my family. And that between chamber and another networking event and LBB, Little Black Book and all of the things, I just was like, okay, I have signed myself up for way too much. And on top of it, I then helped with PTO and I was like, yeah, no, I was burning out, overwhelmed and I just couldn't do it anymore. So ⁓ that's really kind of where I feel the pressure came from personally for me. I don't know if you have any examples personally for you, Steph Mic: I do. ⁓ And I would say that I am a I am a fixer. ⁓ I like to help people at the expense of myself. ⁓ And I like to dive in and do the things and help organize But I say I'm definitely a doer. And sometimes when you are like that you tend to be helping people in ways that you would want to be helped instead of helping them in the ways they need. ⁓ So throughout you know again trial and error where sometimes you actually are not helping the people you are hoping to help you have to realize that Nicole Mic: Okay. Steph Mic: It is not helpful to help people with an agenda. And they can feel that. And so instead, you need to be listening. You need to listen. You need to clarify what I'm hearing you say is. Would it be, you know, after you have a conversation, OK, so would it be helpful if we set up a meal train for your family or maybe even took your kids shopping to, you know, get some some gifts for this event coming up or whatever it might be? I think that Nicole Mic: Yeah. Steph Mic: It's important for you to learn to listen and to seek to understand before you are understood is an important one. And it can also lead into comparison as well. ⁓ So sometimes when we are helping others or sometimes when we ⁓ feel the pressure, okay, so this is like the two-sided coin thing. So ⁓ it can, comparison can play a role and when we look around and we see what everyone else is doing, it can feel the fact that we are not doing enough. ⁓ But it also the opposite of we're doing too much and other people aren't doing enough. mean honestly both are pride and we have to be very careful of that ⁓ is okay for us to be different because God made us each unique and We have different giftings and so I know that I am very detail oriented. I'm very driven and I can lead ⁓ know those are God-given talents of mine that I then can help others in that way but when I use it for self-gain ⁓ I use it to ⁓ To shine the light on me ⁓ is not gonna bring him glory. So instead I need to use those same skill sets and I need to use it to where it's actually serving others and helping others where they are Not where I want them to be Well said, And you know what maybe you think about some of this is that I just like, we sometimes start to believe that being strong, being the strong one is who we are. And that we get known of, well. Nicole Mic: Well said, friends. ⁓ And know what made me think about some of this is that I just like ⁓ we start to believe that being strong, ⁓ being the strong one is who we are. and that we get known of, well, Steph handles all the hard things. She can handle anything. You just throw it on her, and she's got it. And we have that difficulty of admitting when we need that support, like you said. And strengths becoming part of our identity instead of just a trait has gotten so interesting to kind of realize where I'm at is that I'm not leaning on my strength anymore. I'm leaning on that word. to be able to direct me to saying yes or no. And I think that one of the biggest things ⁓ I have stole from you ⁓ making it a family yes instead of a Nicole yes. That the whole family has to be able to understand what's going on and can mom do this. ⁓ that's really where I have found that it helps. So then that way then A, I have an excuse and say, hey, sorry, I can't. My family said no. ⁓ But it also then reminds me that, hey, I do everything because I want to be present with my kids. I need the flexibility of being able to do that. And right now in this season, I'm working on myself. I'm working on my family and my marriage. Everything else comes second. Well, minus God's work. God's work comes first and then my three. But that's kind of where I felt with it Steph Mic: I love that I'm proud of you Nicole Mic: Thank you, friends. I have good friends to be able to support me with us. Steph Mic: Hmm. It is important to have people in your corner for sure. ⁓ And so just the cost of being everything is ⁓ it's that pressure that's not obvious at first. ⁓ And over time, it starts showing up mentally and emotionally. So like mentally, it's exhausting. And you're constantly thinking about what is next, who needs what, what might you be forgetting? There is no off switch. I mean, you just keep spiraling almost ⁓ emotionally. it can start to create resentment. And that's a hard one to admit because you chose to say yes, but now you feel overwhelmed by it. Or resentment of why aren't other people saying yes? They have more time than I do. ⁓ So you just, you need to keep that in check too. ⁓ And so you start to lose clarity is really what that is. And when everything feels important, it becomes really hard to know what actually is important. ⁓ And one of the biggest things that I see is loss of peace. you can be doing ⁓ of the right things. ⁓ Those were air quotes for those just listening. ⁓ And still feel completely unsettled inside. ⁓ So that's ⁓ the sign that something is out of alignment. And not just in your schedule, but also in your heart. ⁓ You need to know what those triggers are for you. You need to know what that feels like in your body. Where does your mind go? How do you know you're spiraling is what I usually say. or how do you know you're withdrawing, that's mine. I mean, if I am withdrawing and I am not reaching out and encouraging others or I'm not... ⁓ Even just having conversations with my friends, ⁓ that usually shows me that something's out of alignment. I have to repeatedly tell myself, I am not the Christ. It is not up to me to be in control of all things. That has taken care of by the Lord, not me. And that's something I have to constantly go to prayer about. Nicole Mic: I love that. I love that, friends. I think a lot of personally, my cost is my time and energy. Saying yes too often has really created that burnout. And a key point that I think taking away from this is good opportunities can still be the wrong time. And so hard, especially as women, moms, or even as business owners. like we want to take every good opportunity. If we took every good opportunity, Stephanie would have quit already by now in our business because I think every opportunity is a good opportunity of all the things I want to create for everyone. And there's a right time for those things. And that saying yes out of instead of intention is such an easy thing for us to get involved in. forgetting that every yes is saying no. That's where we have to step back and I have to say, let me think about that and let me get back with you. That is such a hard thing to say because I always want to be like, ⁓ I can help. I can do that. No. And I then have to be able to like step back and wait. You know, I, took me, I really wanted to message you like immediately on Sunday, like how can I help? What can I do? And I'm like, I love you. Here's a heart. I love you. don't know. You know, I'm not going to overwhelm you. And then finally, I don't know, maybe 24 hours later, I'm thinking of you, what can I do to help? We still can do it. We just need time to be able to realize is this the right season or not? And that overcommitment clouds our priorities. Like, hello, we have our priorities. We have that set. And if we are looking over our priorities immediately, doing all of the things, I mean, we're setting ourselves up to fail. I mean, what's the point of creating those priorities and those non-negotiables when we're creating ourselves that everything's equally urgent? That's not true. And that's where we are putting ourselves. And that, like we said, we're losing the clarity on what actually matters the most and moving from intentional living to reaction mode. And that's not where we want to be. And so, I mean, that's the hard thing with us being able to accept it because when your identity becomes the one who handles everything, it becomes so hard to step back. Like, you know, and it's feeling like everything falls apart if we step back to, ⁓ my gosh, this event is going to go downhill because I'm not involved with it anymore. It's not going to happen anymore. And we have the difficulty of delegating everything and the I still have that problem. Still trying to figure out what resting looks like for Nicole Girardi. I'll let you know when it does. I listened to a great podcast from Josh Howerton about Sabbath, so I'm already in my mind, doing all things. And so, just telling you that take a breather and just know that learning your role is not to hold everything together and that God has a plan for us, each one of us, and we're uniquely made. And he's going to let us know what we should be saying yes to and what we should be saying no to. And I'm going to preach a little bit about go back to your core values. We made them. We created them. We have our mission in life. We have our vision in life. We know what we want. But why do we keep saying yes to the things that don't go back to our core values? And that is just crazy to me that, bless this woman, overcommit, and it just becomes our identity. and we lose our track of our priorities, we lose track of our carbon leaves, we lose track of our mission and our vision and our family, and all of the things just so we can say, heck, I did that, add it to my busy list, I just did another event, and it's miraculous. We have to accept the fact that somebody can take our role, and it's just gonna be fine. And if you don't really wanna ever attend that event because you're not the one planning it, just don't go. Steph Mic: I was just thinking how when you were talking about every yes is also a no to something else. ⁓ also, when you are coming across as that person that's in charge of everything and you have your act together, again, more air quotes, it prevents community. People are not going, like that comes across as prickly and unrealistic and unattainable and that is not gonna bring the community that you're really gonna need to rally behind you. And until you are really honest with yourself and you understand that you have limits and you start realizing what those limits are, it's not gonna come across as someone that needs love you're coming across as having it all together and I'm speaking out of this with experience there was a particular brave friend that I have ⁓ and this was ⁓ BC before Christ Stephanie ⁓ and ⁓ so it was I that exactly I was checking all the boxes I you know ⁓ I had my life together thought I rocking it hustling, guess you would say. And it did not come across as someone that I wanted. I wanted you to get to know me or I wanted to get to know you. I wanted you to see me was instead what it was. ⁓ And I didn't realize that I was that way. And honestly, it took my husband getting cancer and Jesus for me to kind of start realizing these things. And so if you have that, though, this friend came to me and she was like, one of the biggest changes I noticed in you ⁓ was the fact that you started being so others focused. Like you were just so vulnerable about what you were going through that it allowed me to kind of. come to realizations of what I was going through in my life. so it's a risk. is such a risk to let people see you for who you are and what you're going through. ⁓ But me tell you, as soon as I did, ⁓ God these relationships into my life that ⁓ I not live without. ⁓ I'll share that my father-in-law just died this past week. And it has been extremely hard. ⁓ sisters in Christ that are rallying behind me that are helping and I'm willing to accept their help. Like it has just been such a sweet image of God's grace and I'm so grateful for it and that ⁓ I just want you to be encouraged to let your guard down, realize you have limits, let go of the pressure because no one's expecting it except yourself. Nicole Mic: sister. I love you, too. Oh, you guys are so welcome. You're so welcome. Any time. I'm happy to. I mean, that's the easiest thing. I wish church week I could feed everyone ice cream sundaes for dinner, because that would be so easy. So I think the one last thing I want to say in this section is that growth sometimes looks like becoming someone who has to protect their peace. Steph Mic: I love you too. And thank you for the Ice Cream Sundays because we needed it. Nicole Mic: Growth clearly has been on my mind for a while. just wrote a Facebook post today about it. ⁓ With all the conferences and all the podcasts and all of the books that I read is that growth isn't always adding more. that. ⁓ is not always adding more. Sometimes growth is removing what drains you, learning to guard your time, learning to guard your emotional energy, because that's just as important ⁓ are physical and protecting peace is a sign of maturity, not selfishness. And that taking that in itself relieves so much pressure that it's not about more. It's more intentional on the things that we want. And I think that's really usually the turning point when we realize that is when something has to change because we were never meant to carry everything and just because you can do something doesn't mean you were called to do it. So let's talk about how we start actually choosing the things that belong to us. Steph Mic: So I was actually going to literally say that same thing. Just because you can do something doesn't mean that you are called to do it. We are not called to everything and trying to live like we are will always lead to burnout. capacity isn't fixed either. ⁓ And this changes with our seasons and responsibilities and even what God is doing in our lives. ⁓ And instead of asking what can I handle we need start asking what is Nicole Mic: Yeah. Steph Mic: to carry in this season. ⁓ Boundaries aren't about pushing people away. They're about protecting what you have been entrusted with. And ⁓ if you use boundaries to push people away, here we go with that prickliness again, right? You're going to be pushing people away. You need to protect your core values. You need to be protecting your family. And when you begin to choose based on calling instead of pressure, your life starts to feel more aligned. It starts to feel more intentional and honestly more peaceful. filtering opportunities through what matters most to us. And if you don't know how to do this, write down and brain dump everything that you need ⁓ and relate and say, these are my four core values. ⁓ Does align? ⁓ No, move ⁓ We to look at alignment over approval. We don't need everyone's approval. ⁓ I care anymore if you like. Nicole Mic: filtering opportunities through what matters most to us. And if you don't know how to do this, write down and brain dump everything that you need and relate it and say, these are my four core values. Does this align? No. Move on. We have to look at alignment over approval. We don't need everyone's approval. I don't care anymore if you like me or not. I am who I am in Christ. And I'm going to continue to do the things that I'm supposed to be doing through my path in life and my purpose. And if it doesn't align with that, I'm going to have to move in the other direction. And that's just where I'm at in my life. And it took a really rough year to figure that out. So if you don't have that figured out, don't stress about it because It's gonna take time. And I mean, I'm still learning as I go and I think that this is my purpose. And then I'm like, God's like, yeah, just kidding. You're going over here. And that's okay. Because it's not a straight line from A to B. I mean, here we are on earth until we get to heaven, it's gonna look like a roller coaster. And that's okay. And that's the excitement of life too. I mean, just enjoying where you are in the moment intentional stewardship is so important to and that I think that time is a resource, Energy is a resource. Capacity is a resource. Managing these well is leadership. And being intentional with where you invest yourself is such a priority, and you better be investing yourself in God's word first, because that is gonna bring you that enlightenment. And instead of asking what needs done, ask God who is he calling you to be? And that is what's so important of shifting from task focus to identity focus. And being able to determine who you are, who you are in Christ, who you are as a wife, who you are as everything, is such a prime way of being able to say, this is what aligns, this is what doesn't, and being able to drive those commitments and not make them such an expectation anymore. Steph Mic: And so much of this pressure comes from carrying things that we were never meant to carry. So earlier I said, you know, I am not the Christ. ⁓ you not the savior to everyone. ⁓ Matthew 11, 28 says, to me all who labor and are laden and I will give you rest. ⁓ God never asked us to prove our faithfulness through exhaustion. That's something we have chosen Nicole Mic: Mm-hmm. Steph Mic: to add through our own expectations. And rest isn't always laziness. I used to always think rest meant laziness. And that is not the case when you're talking about biblical, peaceful rest. It's actually an act of obedience and trust. It's saying, God, I trust you to work even when I step back. And I think too that we have to remind ourselves that we are not the savior to everyone. ⁓ have ⁓ to fix everything, hold everything together or meet every need. That is not our responsibility and that should be freeing to you. That release that pressure. That should bring in the peace. That is the role of Jesus Christ. It's already filled. And when we try to step into ⁓ Jesus's role, we end up overwhelmed and depleted. And pressure, it just is a Nicole Mic: Mm-hmm. Steph Mic: ticking time bomb really. Your worth was never tied to how much you carry. It's already secure in Christ. And when you really start to believe that, it changes how you're going to show up in your life. Nicole Mic: So true. I think that a lot of, I mean, I said it in another podcast, Faith saved my life, and Steph had to text me to remind me when she was editing the podcast, and heart emoted it. But Faith is what reframed my responsibility. Faith helped me realize I do not have to hold everything together. Learning to trust instead of control. I feel like that's all I have been writing lately in my roots journal. So clearly God is telling me that I need to release all of that. Control is really, really hard for me. But releasing the pressure to perform. Steph said it, and I'm going to say it again. Jesus already carried all of this for us. We do not have to carry this. And God doesn't want us to carry this. This is out of our control, no matter how hard it is to say that. Your identity is a daughter, not a fixer. And once you realize that your identity is rooted in the relationship and not the performer, life just changes. And I 100 % know it. It's my testimony of everything I've witnessed in the last year and that you are loved not because of what you do, but because of who you are. And if you're choosing all of the things and that's bringing you down, is that who you want to be? And that's where you have to accept that. So if you find yourself feeling stretched, too thin, or constantly pressured, maybe the question isn't, how do I do more? Maybe the question is really, what am I allowed to release? And that is where journaling comes into play. That is where your Roots Journal is like, am finding tons of things that I am able to release through God's Word and through the scriptures we picked out, especially because our theme is identity in Christ. So it just completely ties it together that I really hope that you take from this conversation that you need to audit one commitment this week. And you need to look at your obligations, okay? Ask why you said yes. You have to have an answer for that. then ask if it's full of lines with everything going on in your core values and through the purpose that you're supposed to be. And really see, does that seek that? And ask if it still serves your priorities. We're firm, but we're planner people. We're priority people. We're habit people. It has to match. Because if it isn't, you're so unbalanced, and you're going to tip over. and you're not going to be able to have it all together. And you have the permission to reevaluate, and that's really where you need to focus. Ask where the pressure is self-imposed versus forced. Where am I creating my expectations versus what am I assuming the responsibility versus delegating? ⁓ Who am I thinking that I'm going to disappoint? And you're going to realize that you're overextending yourself. and nobody has any of this. And the first step to any of this is awareness. And if you can do that, I really think that things are going to be so much better for you with the pressure. Steph Mic: And you are allowed to choose differently. ⁓ So you are allowed to step back. You're allowed to reevaluate and even to disappoint expectations that were never meant for you to carry. I actually was discipling a teen and we were talking about her being a perfectionist. And I told her I was like, listen, I'm going to start praying for compromise. I want you to compromise your own expectations of yourself because a compromise doesn't mean one wins and one loses. Nicole Mic: Mm-hmm. Mm-hmm. Steph Mic: choosing peace doesn't mean that you are doing less. It means that you're doing what actually matters. ⁓ Sometimes it feels like we're letting ourselves down or others. But really, it's because you're choosing yes on those things that matter the most. ⁓ And sometimes the most powerful thing can do is pause and ask, what am I holding onto that I can release? ⁓ And sometimes it's, what can I ask help for? And you don't have to keep proving your worth through your capacity. You're allowed to live from a place of peace, not pressure. And that's really where grounded growth begins. Okay, that's it for this week. Nicole Mic: That's it ladies. You guys have an amazing week and we'll see you next week when we jump on to episode 15.